I Dream Of Discord

by Akumokagetsu

Rating: everyone
Tags: Trixie, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance
Length: 1154

Trixie discovers a magical lamp, and is delighted to discover that she is granted three wishes. Not so delighted to discover that the 'genie' inside the bottle has a twisted sense of humor, though.

Trixie is sick of being pushed around.
She is supposed to be known as The Great and Powerful Trixie, after all.

After digging up a magical lamp from the ground, Trixie attempts to prove once and for all that she is greater than any other pony in Equestria.
Discord, however, is all too eager to prove her wrong on all accounts.

Awesome cover art by Stinkehund!

Published 2013-09-17 22:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-17 22:00:03 UTC

Buried Treasure

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“Hmph. Trixie will show them. Trixie shall show them all who is great and powerful, and-“

“Shut your yap and keep shoveling, would you?” Applejack glowered at the ‘great and powerful’ trench digger, frowning. “I’ve had ta’ listen to you all morning. And yesterday.”

“But Trixie-!”

“And th’ day before!” Applejack dropped her own shovel, ceasing her irrigation of the apple orchards. “I honestly am glad t’see you fitting in, and all, but I swear to Celestia if I hear ‘great and powerful’ one more time, I’m gunna kick you in the head!”

Trixie magically flung a clump of dirt at the cowpony, earning a weary sigh from Big Macintosh. Those two had been at each other’s throats since Granny Smith had given them their task, and Twilight’s request of assisting in ‘rehabilitating’ the once-proud stage mare only worked as an added burden.

But at least something was working. Unlike Trixie.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie heeds not your foul words!” the unicorn bellowed, stamping her hoof against the ground. “Trixie can get along just fine without your help,” she spat. “You should be wallowing in worship that Trixie even looks in your general direction!”

“And maybe if you’d quit googly-eyin’ my sister,” Big Mac pronounced unenthusiastically “we might actually be finished by today.”

The unicorn flushed, giving the much larger red stallion a heated glare. She opened her mouth to retort, and it was promptly filled with a shovel handle.

Big Mac pointed over at the irrigation rows with a deadpan, resuming his own work.

Trixie scowled silently, telekinetically lifting her shovel. It just seemed so unfair. That Trixie was being forced (sort of) to perform manual labor, of all things, in order to pay rent. She wiped a bead of sweat from her brow, eventually losing herself in thought as she dug. Trixie heaved and pushed at the shovel, using her magic to dig even faster. Wonderful, soothing thoughts of beaning a certain cowpony over the head with a blunt instrument filled her mind, and she hardly even noticed when the minutes turned into hours.

Eventually, however, Trixie was forced to recognize two very important things.

First of all, it was completely silent.

Secondly, Trixie had dug herself straight into a hole.

Her hoof hit her face with a loud clop! at her own folly, and Trixie grumbled viciously as she began climbing back up the rather steep incline.

Or at least, Trixie tried to. With every shaky step she took, she found that the hole she’d dug had become too steep to climb out of. A small sliver of panic rose into Trixie’s chest, and her breathing quickened.

“H-hello?” she called out, noting that the sun was swiftly sinking beyond the horizon above her. “Is… is anypony out there?”

When she received no answer, she both grew louder and a little more afraid.

“Hello? Anypony?! Trixie needs he-help!” she said desperately, grimacing at the words. That the Great and Powerful Trixie required assistance from anypony was a ridiculous notion, and she dismissed it almost immediately. And not just because she wasn’t receiving an answer.

She huffed, infuriated. Grasping her shovel in both hooves, she jammed the end roughly into the clay beneath her and attempted to use it to climb out – but, alas, she was simply too far down. Dropping to the bottom of the pit in frustration, Trixie magically swung the shovel at the wall of the pit out of anger. She’d dug herself into this mess, and she’d dig herself out.

However, Trixie wasn’t expecting the shovel to violently hit a chunk of rock and swing back around, clubbing her neatly in the side of the head.

Spots danced before her eyes as Trixie dropped the shovel, hissing as she tenderly cupped the angry red welt forming on her temple. She was lucky she hadn’t accidentally given herself a concussion. Glowering at the shovel as if it were the tool’s fault, Trixie attempted to magically shift some of the dirt in order to form a climbable incline. When she did so, the unicorn discovered something glittering as the tip of her horn alighted in a blue glow.

Eyes flickering downward into the dirt, Trixie’s first reaction was to grab it – and when she did so, she was not disappointed. The glistering indigo lamp was buried up to the neck, although it shone in her horn’s light with a gorgeous aura. Gasping in glee as she tried to yank it free from the soil, Trixie swiftly began searching for more of this buried treasure.

Buried. Treasure.

No longer would Trixie be forced to work and toil like a commoner! Dropping to all fours and pawing madly at the ground, Trixie scooped the rest of the dirt away and finally freed the lamp from the ground. Much to her dismay, there was no more treasure to be found. No shining doubloons, no sacks of bits or reflective gems larger than her head.

Trixie was significantly disappointed.

Her frown resumed as she remembered her situation, and held the lamp aloft in order to more closely inspect it. Maybe she could at least get a few bits for it; unless that unbearable cowpony insisted that it had been found on her land, and claimed ownership. Greedily turning the oddly shaped lamp over, she spotted a smudged and dirty line of writing scribbled on the bottom.

Turning it over in her hooves slowly, Trixie peered at the scribbles and tried to wipe away some of the dirt. ‘-ware –f-ch-s-?’What did it even mean?

And, more importantly, did it make the artifact even more valuable?

She frowned in agitation as she accidentally scrubbed the scribbles away, revealing clean bottle beneath it shining in the magnificent pink light.

… Pink. Pink light. Trixie’s horn emitted a blue light when she used magic.

Her heart sped up as she made the connection.

She promptly dropped the lamp in shock as a terrifyingly massive BOOM! erupted from the lip, roiling pink and red clouds emitting from the spout and into the air. Trixie suddenly felt very, very small as what had to be the most enormous draconequus she’d ever laid eyes on suddenly burst screaming out of the bottle, followed by a swarm of screeching wheelbarrows with wings made of pillows.

Trixie tried very, very hard to get her brain to sync up with her mouth, but she seemed to be failing.

“ONE THOUSAND YEEEEEEEEEEARS…..” the monstrous form bellowed, his voice so loud that it felt as if the earth itself would crack open and swallow her.

“Will give you such a crick in the neck. Oi!” Discord rubbed his neck tenderly, emitting several painful-sounding cracks and pops as he removed his head, spun it around a few times on the tip of one talon, and jammed it back onto his neck.

The ‘Great and Powerful’ Trixie fainted on the spot.

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