Octavia's Best Night Ever
Under the advice of my therapist, one Doctor Whooves, I have been instructed to keep a journal in which I can discuss my thoughts and feelings. He says that I am emotionally closed off and have trouble sharing my feelings with other ponies, and he thinks that me keeping a journal will somehow remedy that problem. I personally think the whole notion of me keeping a journal to discuss how I feel the daily minutiae of my life is a bit silly, but he is my court-appointed therapist, so I suppose some concessions are in order.
Still, I highly doubt updating this journal will become a part of my regular routine after our sessions conclude and I am allowed to go on my merry way. Perhaps I should start this entry by describing why I am being forced to write a journal and go to a court appointed therapist, but instead I feel like reliving one of the few bittersweet memories from the past few months. After all, the doctor did say I could write about whatever I wished.
Strangely enough, it all started on the night of my greatest failure, the Grand Galloping Gala, by now, everypony knows that the last gala was ruined in the most spectacular of fashions. So I won’t waste time recounting the particulars about what happened, although I would like to call out one pony in particular for her rather uncouth performance. She was a bouncy pink mare, and she had the audacity to hop up onto the stage, and forced the band to perform the children’s song “The Pony-Pokey” before proceeding to wreck the entire gala with the help of her accomplices who I hope never to meet again.
During the ensuing chaos, I decided it best to go for a walk in the hopes of clearing my head. Through means I am not entirely sure of, I found myself lost in the Canterlot Hedgemaze, and that was where something utterly extraordinary happened. Now, the actual events happened many months ago, but I will try to describe them as best I can.
Standing, well sitting, right before me in all of her royal majesty was one of Equestria’s royal diarchs. Not Princess Celestia, of course, she was still busy dealing with the Gala and trying to calm down a swarm of angry nobles, but her younger sister. Canterlot had buzzed with rumors of the mare’s return from banishment several months ago, and ponies speculated that the end of the world would soon be upon us. I personally didn’t buy into such speculations, but then, I always had a distinct preference for Luna’s nights over Celestia’s days, and shortly after her return, I was asked to play at the next Grand Galloping Gala. For a while, those two events had a very distinct positive correlation in my mind, and after that night, Luna and the Gala would always be irrevocably linked in my mind.
But, I get ahead of myself, the moment our narrative properly begins, I stood face to face with one of the two most powerful beings in Equestria, and I looked like a complete wreck, with several loose strands of hair obscuring my vision, and my bowtie crooked.
I quickly bowed before her, “Your Highness, I apologize for intruding, I simply wasn’t expecting to see anypony out here this evening. Please forgive me.”
She looked us over in thought for a few seconds, “It is quite alright, but beg pardon, why are you not at the Gala? We distinctly recall hiring you to perform at tonight’s event, even if the nobility were set against us making an appearance.”
So, the princess both knew who I was and personally selected me to play at tonight’s gala. It was an honor. “You… they didn’t want you to attend the gala? Why?”
“While we have looked forward to going to the Gala since our return, it seems the nobility of Canterlot thought the presence of Nightmare Moon at an event honoring Celestia was… grossly inappropriate. My sister tried to reason with them, but Prince Blueblood held his ground.”
“Yes, well, I don’t mean to pry, your highness, but don’t you and Celestia outrank him by an order of magnitude.”
Luna nodded, “Of course we do, it would have been easy for us to completely obliterate him and the rest of this city’s wretched nobility, but in the interest of decorum and putting to bed rumors that we were merely waiting for a moment of weakness to take over Equestria, we… obliged them. Now, why aren’t you at the Gala? We have heard great things about your musical ability.”
I bowed. “As much as I would love to still be performing, it seems that the Gala was ruined by a few interlopers, notably a bouncy pink pony with the mind of a foal.”
“Tell us, did she have a particularly fluffy mane with a consistency similar to that of cotton candy?”
I nodded.
“Interesting, I will have to speak with Tia when next we meet.”
“You know the… perpetrator?” I asked.
“We met with her and her friends once before. If we ever head back to Ponyville, we must thank them.”
The pink force of nature lives in Ponyville? I must make note to never head there, not that I ever intended to visit such a backwater anyways. Now, I had extra incentive to avoid it.
“If you are still interested in hearing me play, I would be more than willing to get my cello out,” I said, gesturing to the case strapped to my back.
She nodded, “That would be lovely Octavia, if we wouldn’t be imposing overly much on you.” At that, she smiled and sat down while I worked on unstrapping my cello case.
I started playing, and Luna made for a wonderful audience, she listened intently, and applauded briefly after I finished each piece. Finally, when I reached the end of my last piece, I took a bow and the Princess went wild with applause. “Well done, Octavia, we haven’t heard such masterful playing in over a thousand years.”
The compliment might mean a touch more if she hadn’t been imprisoned on the moon for a millennium, but it was still lovely and I gracefully accepted. “And I have never had such a terrific audience; it was truly an honor to play for you Luna… I mean Your Highness.”
Luna smiled and waved a hoof dismissively, “It is fine, we will permit you to omit our titles when speaking with us privately.”
“Alright,” I said, “But, do you think it would be possible for you to use a singular pronoun as opposed to ‘we’?” I was counting my lucky stars she wasn’t currently using the Royal Canterlot Voice. When she used it in the palace to greet a foreign ambassador, everypony in Canterlot could hear it, and since she typically held court during the late hours of the night… well, a lot of ponies were very cross about being woken up every time she had to make an announcement. On the other hoof, business was great for any unicorn that knew how to cast a soundproofing spell.
“That is acceptable,” she said, “We… I am in a private situation, so I suppose I can speak a bit less formally.”
I nodded, it was rather refreshing, although a part of me disliked the idea of speaking so casually with one so far above my station. “It is,” I said, “In truth, I haven’t had the chance to talk with somepony in ages. Most of my time during the last few months has been spent preparing for the Gala.” I didn’t feel the need to make a comment about how pointless all that practice was since the Gala was ultimately ruined.
“I understand,” she said, “I spent the past millennium rather indisposed, and now that I have returned I am still seen as a social pariah by most ponies, and now I hear that the Autumnal Harvest Festival I used to preside over has been turned into something called Nightmare Night. It doesn’t sound all that promising.”
“Well,” I said, “You could always try taking the holiday back. Yes, Nightmare Night has a few issues, but it’s not completely irredeemable. I know lots of ponies look forward to it all year.”
The Princess of the Night tilted her head in thought, “Perhaps, I will give your suggestion some thought, but tell me, what has happened to the Winter Moon Festival?”
“The Winter Moon Festival?” I asked, “I don’t believe I am familiar with it. The only big winter holiday that I know of is the Hearth’s Warming Eve celebration.”
All of the heat was sucked out of the air, and I suddenly felt very cold, very small, and very frail. “I see. We will have to speak with our sister about this and work to revive the old tradition. Still, that can wait until the morning. For now, I am curious to learn about how life has changed for common ponies since my absence.”
I gladly obliged the Princess and informed her of the daily minutiae of my life, as she seemed rather interested in every detail. “So then, these apartments, they are like tiny little cubes that ponies live in?” She asked.
“Well, they aren’t all tiny, and they certainly aren’t all cube shaped, but…”
“But multiple ponies now live in the same building? Like a hive?”
“No, it isn’t like a hive, it’s… well, it is a touch like a hive, but I would avoid making the comparison. I chose to live in apartment because it is substantially cheaper than a house in the city and it is space efficient. Besides, I don’t have that many possessions to keep track of, so an apartment just made sense. What was Canterlot like a thousand years ago?” I asked.
“It didn’t exist a thousand years ago, or at least not as you know it. The city was just a small unicorn outpost. Canterlot only became Equestria’s new capital is because Celestia used it as her base of operations during our war, and she chose not to return to the Palace of the Royal Pony Sisters after my exile. This entire city was built around Celestia, with no place made for the Princess of the Night. Celestia promises me that that things will work out if I give them time, but I feel I am just blending into the background again.” She smiled ruefully, “Still, I am sure you don’t care to hear about the problems of Equestria’s lesser princess.”
I returned the smile, “The last time I checked, you and Celestia were co-rulers, and anypony who says otherwise is clearly ignorant of their history and lacking in social graces.”
“At least I have one faithful subject,” she said, wrapping her forelegs around me in a light embrace.
I pulled away, albeit reluctantly, “Would you care for a bit of stargazing, your Highness? It is a lovely evening.”
“Why thank you Miss Octavia, your suggestion sounds lovely. The last time I stopped to admire the night sky was over a millennium ago. I have sorely missed it.” We moved to lie on the grass, and the Princess gave me the history of every last star in the sky, or at least, it seemed like she did, listening to the story of Canis Major was actually quite fascinating. Occasionally, she would stop talking, and allow me to discuss some frivolous little detail of my life. Somehow, she managed to act interested as I explained the minutiae of orchestra life, and even asked questions about what went on behind the scenes. Nopony had ever sounded so legitimately interested in the details of my life, although I still suspect that she was just being polite. I was probably a tremendous bore to her.
Towards the end of the night, during what Luna claimed was a completely unexpected meteor shower, we moved next to each other, and she draped her wing over me as I rested my head against her side. “The Gala wasn’t too terrible then, was it Octavia?”
“I’ll admit, it had a rough start, but towards the end of the night, things got substantially better,” I said, nuzzling up against her, “In fact, I might even go so far as to claim it was the best night ever.” We both laughed at that, and to my great surprise, the princess moved in to kiss me. Even more surprisingly, I returned the kiss. Finally, as the sun began to rise, we both drifted off to sleep.
It shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that I awoke before the Princess of the Night, and upon waking, the events of the previous night seemed like nothing more than a distant, far off dream. A quick check of my surroundings confirmed that I had indeed fallen asleep next to one of Equestria’s ruling diarchs, and now I could see things in a clearer light.
As much as I wished things were otherwise, Luna was a royal princess and I was but a lowly cellist. If I stayed with her, which I very much wanted to, I knew that I would always be wondering how much praise I had earned, and how much was given me to curry favor with the princess. Things would be even worse for her as her rule would be tainted by rumors of scandal as nobles gossiped about how she took up with a common cellist. While such things might have been acceptable back during her day, they were practically unheard of during the modern era, and I could not, in good conscience, allow her to make such a colossal error.
I let out a small sigh as I crawled away from the sleeping princess and moved to pack up my cello. Leaving the princess wouldn’t be easy, and there was every chance that she would seek some form of retribution, or worse yet, reconciliation, but there was now no doubt in my mind that leaving would be best for both of us in the long run, even if it was a painful thought in the short term.
In my weaker moments, after a long day of practice when I return home to an empty apartment and I go to sleep facing the prospect of spending another day completely and utterly removed from the rest of ponydom, I like to think about what my life would be like if I had chosen to stay. Perhaps there is another world where the Princess and I are dating, where an Octavia with slightly less fortitude gets to spend every night speaking with Luna, discussing both astronomy and classical music with eager abandon before morning comes and we both retire to our royal chamber. I will occasionally catch myself smiling while thinking about the world that might have been, but then I inevitably remember the small grim smile I bore as I walked away from a sleeping princess. It was not the smile of a happy mare who did the easy thing or the fun thing. It was the smile of a mare who knew that she had done the proper thing, and Octavia Melody is nothing if not proper.
There were many things Celestia disliked about being the sovereign ruler of Equestria. Ponies were far too formal around her, she could never have any time by herself, she was forced to serve as referee for the constant squabbling of the nobility, and then there were petitions like the one in front of her. “Could you repeat what exactly you have planned for the Gala?” She asked, vainly hoping that she had just imagined her nephew’s request.
“The Grand Galloping Gala planning committee has decided that this year’s musical,” he snickered, “entertainment, shall be provided by a quartet of Earth Ponies, in keeping with your desire that the Gala should be more open to the other races.” Prince Blueblood looked far too pleased with himself for his plan to have no ulterior motives. He had lain a trap somewhere in his proposal, and Celestia would find it.
She smiled, doing her best to sound cheerful. “That’s wonderful, I take it you will be inviting Royal Riff to play in this quartet then. Having my personal musician playing at the Gala would be quite the feather in your cap.” Celestia said, hoping to trick Blueblood into showing his hoof.
“Ah, while I… I mean, we appreciate the offer Your Highness, it was decided by the council that it would be for the best to only invite ponies whose star is still on the rise, as it were, in the hopes of show casing those whose talents haven’t yet been,” more snickering, “Fully recognized.”
Celestia narrowed her eyes as she grasped the outlines of her nephew’s scheme. She had outlawed the Festival of Fools 937 years ago, and for 936 years the nobility had been attempting to bring it back in some form. As their attempts went, having a laugh at the expense of four musicians was mild, but Celestia didn’t plan on letting the nobility mock her subjects.
Still, she thought, she had given Blueblood approval to plan the Gala, and if she were to directly overrule him, the nobility might complain, and that would mean more petitions and complaints, and more of her time spent dealing with the issue, she struggled to think of an alternative solution. “That sounds like a wonderful idea, nephew. I’m glad to see that the nobility is finally recognizing the talents of earth ponies and pegasi, although I would appreciate it if you allowed me one small request.
Prince Blueblood bowed low in what Celestia viewed to be an overly exaggerated display of deference. “Anything you request your highness, for the princess who brings the dawn, no demand is too unreasonable.”
“I would appreciate it if you put my sister in charge of selecting the musical talent for the Gala, she has been desperate to reintegrate herself into Canterlot life, and I feel this would be an appropriate first task.” She gave a small smile that had been cultivated through centuries of dealing with the nobility, warm enough to make the recipient feel as if some favor had been bestowed but distant enough not to be improper.
“Of… of course, your majesty.” His eyes narrowed and Celestia could see the gears in his head turning, working to find her angle. “We would be honored to have Luna assist us in planning the Gala, a shame that some of the nobility don’t wish for her to make an appearance this year.”
Celestia blinked, “What was that?” She asked, working to keep her face impassive.
“Yes, a large portion of the Gala Planning Committee has decided that it would be improper for your sister, formerly Nightmare Moon, to make an appearance considering this celebration is about you. I, of course, disagreed, but one cannot argue with the nobility.”
“Is there anything I can do to convince them to resend this policy? I thought the Gala would be a wonderful time for the nobility to be reintroduced to her.”
Blueblood pawed at the floor with one hoof, “I will try my best, but I cannot make any promises. Perhaps we could arrange for her to spend more time with the nobility, but if we did that she wouldn’t have enough time to properly select the musicians. The invitations must go out in only few weeks away after all, and the musicians need plenty of time to practice their sets.”
While he might have been a boorish, egotistical, conceited jerk, Celestia had to admit that her nephew could certainly be cunning when he set his mind to it. In just a few sentences he had figured out her plan and countered it, all while acquiescing to her every wish. Given time though, she could persuade the nobility to allow Luna into the Gala, but if she didn’t to curtail Blueblood’s scheme now, four earth ponies would have their careers ruined by the Canterlot elite. Again the choice was the wellbeing of her subjects or the happiness of her sister. Celestia closed her eyes and hoped her sister might understand.
“It would be for the best if Luna helped plan the music, I will try to convince the rest of the nobility that she has reformed, but it is time for her to have some proper royal duties.
Blueblood bowed again, “As you wish your majesty, I will go about making the necessary arrangements. I suggest you start buttering up the rest of the planning committee, you know they will need it.”
“Oh, she was very good, what did you say her name was?” Luna asked from the back of the auditorium as the last musician walked off stage.
“Octavia Melody,” Blueblood said after pretending to check some of his papers. “All reports say she is one of the best earth pony musicians in Canterlot. I am sure she would fit in splendidly at the Gala, although…”
“What is it? Your princess demands you speak to her,” Luna said, slipping back into the Royal Canterlot voice.
“Your highness, do you remember how we discussed not using the voice during these auditions? If the ponies knew one of the princesses was judging them, it might affect their performance.”
“Yes, of course, nephew. She should be a part of our quartet, so that all will say that this Gala was the most MAGNIFICENT EVER! Now tell us what you were going to say!”
Blueblood moved to cover his ears as the princesses voice continued to rise, “A splendid initiative, but if you must know what I was going to say earlier, it is just a shame that you are putting all of this work into the Gala even though you won’t be there to see it.”
“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t we be allowed into the Gala are we no longer considered nobility?”
“Of course you are second only to Celestia,” Blueblood said, “But your sister fears that having you out amongst other ponies so soon after your reformation would end poorly.” Blueblood allowed himself a brief smile. Celestia had been so concerned with speaking with the nobility and convincing them to allow her sister into the Gala that she had neglected to inform her sister of recent developments. If things progressed optimally, he would have his quartet of untalented earth ponies (Something of a redundancy he thought), Luna would still be allowed into the Gala, and she would believe he was the one responsible for it, allowing him to reap the rewards of the Princess’s gratitude. It was always so fun when he and auntie were at odds with each other, she was perhaps the only mind in Equestria that could keep up with his schemes.
Luna huffed at the news, “She doesn’t want me at the Gala? We have half a mind to march into her throne room right now and demand an explanation.”
“And it is your royal right to do so, but do you really wish to force a confrontation with your sister so soon after your redemption. Lesser ponies might fear that history is about to repeat itself. Perhaps a more subtle approach is called for?”
“What is it that you suggest nephew? We admit we are not as experienced with the machinations of Celestia’s court as you are.”
“Well,” he said, tapping his chin, “You will be selecting the musicians for the Gala, and your only constraint is that they must be earth ponies.” He smiled, “It occurs to me that there are far more untalented earth pony musicians than there are talented ones. What you do with that information is up to you. Matilda,” he said, acknowledging his assistant, “please bring in the next performer.” Yes, Blueblood thought to himself, this year’s Gala stood to be the best ever.
“What do you mean you have no problem with Luna attending the Gala?” Celestia asked Duke Rare.
“It is a rather simple statement your highness, I have no problem with your sister attending the Grand Galloping Gala. I think it is a splendid idea for her to be reintroduced into Equestrian society. The only noble who had any issue with the idea when it was brought up to the committee was Prince Blueblood. He said that her appearance so soon after returning might agitate some of the guests and shift the focus of the celebration away from you, he was quite vehement about it. Unfortunately, he managed to persuade a few of the nobles to his line of thinking, but I’m sure if you expressed your desire for her to attend the Gala the resistance would evaporate quickly your majesty,” the Duke said, continuing to grovel before his liege, “Please don’t be angry at me, I have always endeavored to do what is best for the realm, and that means doing what is best for you. I would never join with Blueblood’s faction of malcontents.”
Celestia swallowed a sigh, struggling to keep her face impassive. Even the slightest hint of annoyance would convince the duke he was about to have his title revoked, and from there things might get complicated. “Of course Duke Rare, I commend your loyalty and thank you for revealing my nephew’s deceptions.” Why Celestia hadn’t guessed this earlier was beyond her. Of course Blueblood was behind this, he was the only pony with enough clout to even dream of opposing her. “One last question, if I may, what about this idea to have only earth ponies performing for the Gala?”
Duke Rare’s face suddenly became several shades lighter, “You mean, that wasn’t your idea? Blueblood said you wanted to start reintroducing the Festival of Fools in Equestrian society and thought that this might be a good way to see how other ponies might react to it.”
“Listen very well to what I am about to tell you, and I want you to spread the message to anyone else who supported my nephew’s little idea. I will never bring back the Festival of Fools, it was a barbaric tradition a thousand years ago and it is a barbaric tradition now, and I will not have it return no matter how much the nobility protests. Do you understand me?” As she spoke, her eyes narrowed and her voice dropped from its usually airy heights, and for one moment Duke Rare was reminded why his demure and gentle princess had led the kingdom of Equestria for over a millennium.
“Yes, of course your highness, I’m sorry for displeasing you in any way, shape, or form, and ask you to bestow upon me the faintest sliver of your infinite mercy.”
Celestia sighed and nodded her head, giving her subject permission to leave while contemplating the news the news the duke had brought her. Despite his simpering sniveling demeanor, a keen mind resided in Duke Rare, and he stood as one of the only ponies with enough clout to rival her nephew, so it was a given that he had as many if not more schemes operating as Prince Blueblood, and the chance to besmirch what little good remained in his name was not an opportunity his chief rival would pass up. Of course, it was entirely possible that the duke had been telling the truth, but such things could not be learned without more interviews and more time wasted on business that she thought she had dealt with a thousand years. She turned to her assistant, Sunny Days, a white unicorn with pink mane and a picture of a smiling sun emblazoned on her flank.
“Miss Days, please bring a summons to Baron Plenty and tell him I wish to speak with him at his earliest convenience.” As her assistant trotted off, happy to serve her lady, Celestia wondered just how much time she would have to spend on this endeavor before it could be properly dealt with.
A thought itched in the back of Luna’s head, and she struggled to identify it. Over the last few weeks, she had succeeded in her goal of finding quartet of the least musically gifted earth ponies in Equestria, and she was certain that not a single instant of their performance would be even the slightest bit bearable, but still something still bothered her, while Celestia’s manipulations could certainly be subtle, this slight felt odd and unnecessary, Luna thought as she continued to pace in her bedchambers. It had only been a few months since her return, and already Celestia was working to push Luna into the shadows so that she might bask in the adulation of her little ponies. Was it not enough that Celestia had been deified for the last millennium while Luna had turned into nothing more than an old mare’s tale meant to frighten children? A part of her wished to confront her sister and ask what she had done to earn hire ire, but Blueblood had cautioned against it.
She froze in her tracks, as the dawning rays of realization entered into her mind as Luna realized that once again she had been manipulated by outside forces to bring about conflict in the realm and she wondered why this Prince Blueblood, some distant relative of Celestia, no doubt, gained by convincing her to take up the mantle of Nightmare Moon again. The cobblestone floor shattered as she stomped her hoof down in a rage and the Princess of the Night called her polished platinum armor to her, forged for her by her by her great-granddaughter Princess Platinum to celebrate the end of the Princesses wandering. Yes, she had once worn the mantle of Nightmare Moon, but now she would wear a far older and more venerable mantle. Her magic finished fastening her armor into place as she stormed out the door. She was Celestia’s Justice, and it was time for her nephew to see just how the realm punished treason.
Blueblood took another bite from his pastry as Celestia looked down at him. “How do you find yourself nephew? I hope the Gala preparations are going somewhat well.”
“Of course,” he said, bowing his head before her, “Your sister has an excellent taste in music, and I am excited to see the band she selected play before the best ponies in Canterlot.”
Celestia pondered how in Equestria her sister could be persuaded to play Blueblood’s game. Before her banishment, Luna had always found the Festival of Fools to be rather unseemly and antithetical to the spirit of the nation, but Celestia had ignored her sister’s concerns back then and focused instead on consolidating her reconquered empire and vanquishing the last few followers of Discord. Most likely, she had been taken in by another one of her nephew’s deceptions and now had no idea she was working to bring back the festival she loathed. That was assuming her nephew was telling the truth now, which she had plenty of reason to doubt, now that her weeks long inquest had concluded. “Lying now won’t help your case nephew, I already have more than enough testimonials that accuse you of being the pony who wished to revive the Festival of Fools and keep my sister from attending the Gala.”
To his credit, Blueblood kept his composure, taking one last sip of his tea before lowering it and turning his attention to Celestia. “I am sad to hear that you have been taken in by their machinations. Of course, they would blame me for their own misdeeds, if I were to be removed from the planning committee, they would have quite a coup on their hooves.”
“Blueblood, if you admit to your deception, I might be inclined to be merciful. I understand that some ponies wish to see the Festival of Fools reinstated for whatever reason, but trust me when I say that the Festival brought out the very worst in equanity and served only to marginalize and ostracize the earth ponies. Why would you wish to bring such a dark tradition back to Equestria?”
“Because they deserve it!” He yelled, his eye twitching. “The mud ponies and air heads think themselves our equals, some of them are even petitioning to be accepted into the nobility proper. It was bad enough when we had to accept their burghers and entrepreneurs who somehow managed to make good into our social circles, but to grant them proper titles? That is too far your highness, and it is time for them to be reminded of their proper place.”
Celestia stared at her nephew, her face unmoving. A smarter pony might have noticed the glint of anger in her eyes, but despite his great cleverness, Blueblood could be monumentally thickheaded. “Are you quite finished, nephew?”
He nodded, satisfied that his outburst had somehow convinced his great-somethingeth aunt of her folly. “Very well,” she said, “Allow me to make my counterpoint. The earth ponies and pegasi are the equals of unicorns and a great majority of them are your better. It has always been my intent to erode the divides that separate the three races, but I allowed myself to take a gentle touch because I hoped that integration could occur peacefully, and in many cases, such as in Ponyville, it has. However, if you and your supporters wish to bring this conflict to a head in Canterlot, I would be more than happy to-”
She was interrupted by the sound of cobblestone cracking in the distance. Blueblood’s calm façade had been eroding during his aunt’s lecture as his smile twisted into a look of pure revulsion. The shattering of stone in the distance finally served to break his concentration and allowed the fork that had previously been wrapped in his telekinetic aura to fall to the ground. For several seconds, the echo of the fork clattering against marble was the only sound that filled the cavernous dining hall. Finally, Blueblood summoned the courage to speak, “Auntie, I am sorry if I offended, but what do you suppose that was-”
He received his answer as the doors to the dining hall slammed open and a blue and silver blur pinned him to the ground. Before he could form a response to this indignity, he felt the tip of a blade pressing against his throat. Nadir, the blade in question, greedily devoured the light of the room while emitting only a soft pale light of its own, matching the intensity of Luna’s armor. “Prince Blueblood. For your attempt to bring back Nightmare Moon, we find you guilty of treason against the realm. What have you to say in your defense?”
Blueblood wanted to say that he had no idea what Luna was talking about, or turn to Celestia and try to convince her that her sister had relapsed. Instead, he managed to produce a gurgled, “What?”
“Do you deny that you planted treasonous and seditious thoughts in our mind in the hopes of bringing about the return of Nightmare Moon?” Luna said, before throwing Blueblood against the wall with her telekinetic field and bringing the honed edge of her blade to his neck again. “Speak then, and if we find your story wanting we shall strip you of your titles and send your soul to Tartarus.”
Blueblood gulped and felt Luna’s blade slice into his throat. He wanted to be calm, to explain himself calmly and rationally. “I- I just wanted to put those stupid mud ponies in their place, I didn’t want to commit treason. Puh- puh- please don’t kill me,” he said in between sobs.
“Do you expect us to believe that all of this was part of some plot to convince us to select unskilled musicians to perform at the Gala?”
He nodded slightly, careful not to agitate the at his neck further.
“We find your story implausible and your defense lacking.” Luna said, drawing her blade back in preparation for its final swing, “Do you have any last requests?”
Celestia sighed. As amusing as it had been to see her nephew been humbled, allowing her sister to kill him would end poorly for all parties involved. “He is telling the truth, sister. While my nephew might be a monumental idiot bereft of charm and social graces, he wouldn’t knowingly plot against the realm, and over the last few weeks, my investigation confirmed that he was indeed trying to revive the Festival of Fools in some capacity.”
“But he is still guilty of plotting against the throne of Equestria, he must still be punished,” Luna said, releasing her telekinetic hold on the royal and allowing him sob and cower on the floor, “Or have the laws of Equestria changed so drastically while I was gone.”
“My sister has a point, nephew. Please leave the dining room while I try to convince her that the situation calls for a gentler touch,” Celestia said.
Blueblood nodded before quickly scurrying out of the dining hall, and with him gone, Celestia turned to regard her sister. “I’m sorry sister, but killing your great grandson so soon after you returned might not be the best way to convince ponies that you have reformed.”
“You mean to imply that that cretin is of our descent, tell us what union could go so disastrously wrong as to result in… that?”
Celestia smiled as she turned her attention back to her uneaten breakfast, “I believe he came from your union with Starswirl the Bearded. Very far removed of course, it has been over a thousand years since the first of his lineage.”
Had Luna been drinking tea with her sister, she might have spit it out, but she still found herself having to pick her jaw up from the floor. “That… We would have slain our own descendent?”
Her sister nodded, “It was one of the reasons I felt the need to intervene. That and because I am very proud of the fact that there hasn’t been a single execution in Equestria in eight hundred years.”
“And because doing so would have been wrong, correct?”
Celestia nodded after a moment. “Of course. Now then, what would be an appropriate punishment for your grandson be?”
Luna tapped her hoof on the ground, thinking, “If he were not of our lineage, we would suggest exile to serve as an example to the other nobles, but it seems such things have fallen out of favor during my exile. What would you recommend?”
“I have something in mind,” Celestia said, “But first I have to ask, do you still wish to go to the Gala?”
“If my grandson is representative of the current state of the nobility, we believe it would be preferable to avoid the Gala this year. Besides, we would much rather spend our efforts earning the love of the common pony than of this new defective breed of nobility,” Luna said.
“Very well,” Celestia said, before turning towards one of her guards. “Please escort my nephew back inside, we have decided his fate.”
The guard nodded before trotting out of the hall, returning a moment later with her nephew in tow. He had now managed to compose himself to some slight degree and was no longer cowering on the floor.
“Prince Blueblood,” Celestia began, “After having counsel with my sister, I believe we have devised a suitable punishment for your misdeeds.”
“Of course your majesty,” he said, bowing his head to her, “I understand that I have wronged you in some slight way and leave myself to your judgment.”
“Very well,” Celestia said, “First, I would appreciate it if you allowed my sister to amend her list of musicians that she wishes to have perform at the Gala as it has come to my attention that her initial selection was lacking and she wishes to revise it.” She paused, allowing Blueblood to nod in acquiescence, and Celestia allowed herself to smile. Despite her laundry list of complaints, there were a few things about being a princess that she enjoyed, and moments like this were one of them. “I would also appreciate it if you invited my student Twilight Sparkle to the Gala.”
Blueblood blinked, “Is that all, your majesty?”
“Oh yes,” she said, still smiling as Blueblood and Luna exchanged bewildered glances, “I believe that your punishment should be quite sufficient.” Who knows, she thought, feeling her spirits rise for the first time in weeks, if all goes well, this year’s Gala might be the best ever.
