Advice

by device heretic

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Romance, Fluttershy, Big Macintosh, Slice of Life
Length: 7851

Luna, Rarity, and Applejack meddle in Fluttershy's crush on Big Macintosh.

Princess Luna is delighted to learn of her dear friend Fluttershy's crush on Big Macintosh, and enlists the "aid" of Rarity and Applejack to make their romance a success.

Five-star feature on Equestria Daily!

Published 2012-01-10 09:43:41 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-27 13:44:01 UTC

Advice

It was another lovely day at Sweet Apple Acres.

The sun sat high in the sky, shining warmly down on another late summer day on the outskirts of Ponyville, and the trees in the orchard reached up, silently, slowly embracing its life-giving radiance with all the patient love of a creature prepared to exist for several centuries. The trees did not pay heed to the blur of motion around them; they grew, they shed, they flowered again, and were content. Let the smaller, briefer creatures of the earth fret about minor matters, the trees decided in their slow thoughts, and we shall, for our part, endure.

Not this thought for the ponies who, for the moment, occupied the branches of a particularly large and old tree overlooking the western fields.

“Ah still don’t see why—“

“Shhhh!” hissed a voice, glittering with delight. “I promise you, fair Applejack, all will be apparent in time.”

“Now look, Princess,” Applejack said, as kindly as she could manage, “Ah do appreciate ‘cher visit and all, but…” she waved a hoof down at the field where Big Macintosh wandered peacefully from tree to tree, bucking apples. “This ain’t ‘xactly anythin’ I ain’t seen before.”

“Ah, but he’s not the one you’re here to see,” Princess Luna said, grinning.

“And…why am I here, exactly?” asked Rarity’s voice, frantically whitewashing her irritation with brittle cheerfulness as she hung, upside-down, from a tree branch.

Princess Luna blushed. “Er…my apologies,” she said to Rarity, quickly levitating the white unicorn right-side up and positioning her gently in the boughs.

Rarity shook the sticks out of her mane and coughed up some leaves as demurely as possible. “Ahem. Yes, well…princess…just as a note on modern etiquette, it is generally frowned upon to…appear in a pony’s place of business, excitedly shout, ‘ComewithmeIhavesomethingtoshowyou!’, and then teleport them away from their work.”

Applejack chuckled heartily, earning a sour look from Rarity. “Heh heh…is that what she did, now? She jes’ told me to meet her in this tree.”

“And…” Rarity gave Applejack a suspicious look. “So you…did.”

“’Course ah did,” Applejack replied. “She is a princess, after all…”

Luna pursed her lips. “If I have upset either of you, I…I am sorry. But I am here on a dire errand!”

“A what, now?” Applejack’s face scrunched up.

Luna tried again. “A mission of utmost significance?”

“…are you sure you don’t want Twilight Sparkle for something like this, then?” Rarity asked, timorously. “Not that we aren’t honored to be called to help you, Princess, it’s just that…when things are dire or there are missions, it’s generally something she is called upon to deal with…”

The princess considered this for a moment, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “No,” she said, eventually. “While I am sure she would have a great deal to say, I suspect it would not be helpful in this matter.”

Applejack and Rarity exchanged looks of shock. Twilight, unable to help? The idea was…well…

Their mutual glance changed, in harmony, from expressions of confusion to knowing looks. There were some areas where Twilight’s vast store of knowledge was—how to put this nicely..?—lacking.

Luna was peering between the branches intently, her head bobbing and craning as she followed Macintosh around the field.

Oh, is that how things were..?

“See somethin’ ya like, princess?” Applejack asked, a little irritation slipping into her voice.

“Not yet,” Luna replied distractedly.

“Ah, well…let’s keep on looking, then,” Rarity purred, also peering out at Big Mac. “After all,” she added, giving Applejack a saucy look, “There’s so much to take in…”

Applejack bristled into the unicorn’s smoldering grin. “Now don’t y’all start gettin’ ideas,” she growled.

“What are you two—“ Luna began, irritably, but then she brightened up and pointed excitedly, hushing them. “Shh! There! Look!”

There was a little hedgerow on the south end of the field, facing the Ever-Free Forest, bushy and full in the summer light. A little path was beaten through it a little ways down, which led to—

Fluttershy’s house.

Luna giggled. “There, look! Look!” she said sotto voce.

As Big Mac wandered through the rows of apple trees, the bushes nearby rustled gently, slightly behind him, such that the sound of the leaves stirring wouldn’t draw his attention. Now and again, a pink tail or little yellow wings poked out of the bushes, which were quickly withdrawn with little squeaks of terror.

“Just watch,” Luna gloated. Rarity and Applejack looked on, suddenly fascinated.

Mac raised up onto his forelegs and struck a tree with all his might, apples pouring from the branches. His mane flowed in the gentle breeze and in the midafternoon sun, his huge musculature was put on best display as he bucked with practiced ease.

The pair of little wings shot up from the bushes in a flurry of disrupted leaves.

Luna turned and grinned widely at her companions. “Well?”

“Well…what?” Rarity asked, giving Luna a polite, puzzled grin.

Luna’s face fell. “Is it not a source of amused delight between us, as friends, that we have discovered her secret desire?”

“Sorry, sugarcu—er, Princess,” Applejack said, kindly, “But that’s one of them…well-known secrets.”

“Oh.” Luna shrank, nervously. The two Ponyville residents looked at each other with concern.

“It’s okay, you weren’t to know, dear,” Rarity said, indulgently.

“If’n it makes ya feel better, Ah don’t think Mac knows,” Applejack added, hurriedly. “Always been a bit of a dummy about that sorta thing. As ah recall, Miss Carrot Top had ta kick in a barn door in an’ practically throw ‘erself at ‘im before he got the idea.” The orange earth pony gave her friend a dry look. “Ah can’t quite recall the name of the pony who put that idea in ‘er head.”

“It was such a shame about the barn falling down around them because of that, wasn’t it…” Rarity crooned. “Poor Carrot Top still can’t look him in the face. And he was so gallant protecting her from those falling beams, too...” she sighed, spilling romance all over the place. AJ made a ‘yuck’ face.

“It pleases me to know that dear Fluttershy has set her heart on such a gentlepony, humble of means though he may be,” Luna said haughtily, blind to Applejack’s rising eyebrow and Rarity’s snickering. She was feeling a bit embarrassed about being caught out as not in the know about her new friend, and wanted to make up some ground. “So I feel…so I feel…that it is our responsibility as her friends to—“

“Meddle?” Applejack said, smugly.

“Assist,” Luna said, pouting.

“Applejack, honestly…don’t be rude to the Princess,” Rarity snapped.

AJ shrugged, smiling. “Beggin’ yer pardon, Princess, but…meddlin’ in this sorta thing never really seems to help. ‘Specially when, uh, certain ponies are involved.” She indicated Rarity with a jerk of the head. “Someponies just don’t know how to let things be.”

“You just lack a proper sense of romance.” Rarity glared at Applejack.

Luna looked from one pony to the other. If looks could kill, a sixty-year Cold War was being waged—complete with spheres of influence, nuclear détente, and a ten-thousand mile long, twenty-five foot tall wall made out of pure steel—between these two.

Luna often struck ponies as naïve; but that wasn’t quite right. She was naïve compared to her sister—but what pony wasn’t?—and she was still getting used to modern Equestria. But the looks of suspicion and malice being passed between Applejack and Rarity spoke volumes to her.

“It was…Rarity’s idea that Carrot Top be decisive and act…” Luna said, slowly, quietly taking pleasure in the ponies’ sudden stunned looks, “And you, Applejack…I suspect you didn’t realize why they were asking where Big Mac was.”

“Ah liked that barn,” Applejack said, irritably, looking away, blushing.

“Will I really be required to apologize for that for the rest of my life?” Rarity groaned.

“Ah really liked that barn,” Applejack growled.

Luna grinned brightly. “Oh, well, that’s all in the past, now,” she said brightly, despite the evidence to the contrary painted broadstroke on the other ponies’ faces. “The important thing now is dear Fluttershy.” She waved outwards and drew their attention to the field again.

The little pegasus had reached the end of the hedgerow and was peering out of it, ever-so-slightly, watching as Macintosh wandered out into the further reaches of the field, cart in tow. Only the very tip of her muzzle was visible, but the way the bushes were vibrating suggested some serious muscle strain as her wings and desire to remain hidden struggled for control.

“Ah suppose this has gone on long enough,” Applejack sighed. “An’ this time, I’ll be involved from the get-go, so maybe all the Apple family barns will be standin’ at the end.”

Rarity sniffed. “And I will happily assist Fluttershy,” she said, haughtily. “I may be able to counteract any…roughness that somepony will bring to the situation.” She smiled smugly at AJ’s irritated expression.

“Very well! Off we go, then!” Luna declared brightly.

“Wait, shouldn’t we—“ Rarity and Applejack began at the same time, but they were interrupted as Luna’s magic enveloped them and they winked out of place—

(A)

Fluttershy was crouching, very still, in a bush, letting her heartbeat slow down ever-so-slowly as she watched him wander out into the fields. Her wings still wanted to shoot straight upwards.

Sweet Celestia of Equestria, that flank—

wink

“—aaaaAAAAHHHH!”

There was a pair of thuds as Applejack and Rarity appeared, tumbling to the ground with grunts and irritated declarations of indignance using words that Fluttershy had never thought she would ever hear Rarity use. The little pegasus spun to attention, in shock.

“Oh, girls! Are you all right? What happen—“

“Fluttershy!” declared a booming voice.

“Oh,” Fluttershy said, quietly.

“It is I, your princess, Luna!” The princess of the night descended regally, suspended in the air by graceful beats of her wings. “Take heart, for I have come to aid you in your time of need!”

“Hello, Princess,” Fluttershy said politely. Luna lowered herself to the ground and the two shared a little amused smile. Long gone were the days when Fluttershy shied away from the princess of the night; they had become fast friends, and Luna’s little routine was a familiar joke between them.

Rarity and Applejack got to their hooves, complaining. “Yeah, uh, we’re here, too,” Applejack said, stretching and twisting her neck. “To, uh, help ya. In yer time of, uh, need. Ah guess.”

“We’re here to help you win the heart of Big Macintosh!” Rarity declared excitedly.

Fluttershy set aside her immediate, private reaction, which were some decidedly graphic speculative reflections on the fact that it wasn’t Mac’s heart she was interested in just now. “Um, are you? That’s very nice of you…” she managed, blushing furiously.

“Sugarcube, everypony knows you’ve got it bad for mah brother,” Applejack said, giving Fluttershy a serious look. “Don’tcha think it’s long past time ya did somethin’ about it?”

“Not that there’s anything wrong with pining after him longingly,” Rarity added quickly, getting a faraway, starry look in her eyes. Applejack gave the unicorn an annoyed frown.

Luna stepped forward, looking at her friend fondly. “I, as the princess of the moon, used to serve as the patron of romantic love,” she said. “It is a duty I remember with great fondness, and I wish to resume it!”

“You’re very kind to think of me, um. But…” Fluttershy’s eyes dragged out over the field into the distance, where the sound of Mac’s hooves thudding against an apple tree rang out clearly. “Um, I’m sure I’m…not his type.”

“Nonsense!” Rarity sprang forward and embraced Fluttershy with a hoof. “Anypony would be lucky to have you!”

“You think so?”

Applejack looked awkward. “Ah don’t know about that sorta thing, but, uh…well, ah just think y’all need to at least give it a try,” she said, uncomfortably. “Siddown, have a chat, an’ all.”

Luna looked reflectively up at the sky. “I have certainly given my blessing to stranger couples,” she said.

“Your…blessing?” Fluttershy asked, nervously. “Wait, what’s strange about me and—“

“Nothing, dear, nothing,” Rarity said, hushing her with a hoof. “Why, you two are practically made for each other! You love the outdoors, are, uh, quiet, and gentle, and…” she trailed off.

“Have never said more’n five words to each other..?” Applejack said, smugly. “And knowin’ mah brother as Ah do, I’ll bet at least three of ‘em were ‘eeeyup’.” She comically exaggerated her brother’s trademark statement, making it sound dopey and weird, making a strange, slack-jawed face as she did so. She chuckled.

“Um,” Fluttershy said timorously, “I’ve always found that kind of…cute.” Her voice trailed off as she blushed and covered her face with her hooves.

“Heh,” Applejack smirked. “Mah brother, I tell ya. Can’t even be thick as two barn doors nailed together without fillies fallin’ all over ‘im...”

“He’s not, um, thick,” Fluttershy said, an unusual amount of sullen defiance in her voice. “He’s just…thoughtful.”

“Ye’ll be that way when it takes ya a day to remember yer own name—“

“Applejack, you’re upsetting her,” Rarity whined. “Don’t you listen to mean old Applejack, Fluttershy, she’s just jealous because she couldn’t get a colt to look at her twice—“

“Ah do just fine, thank ya so very much—“ The two descended into the latest bout of their permanent squabble. Mane-pulling was involved more quickly than it usually was this time, Rarity shrieking vengefully as Applejack gave her ‘perfect coiffure’ a firm tug, snickering.

Luna and Fluttershy watched the show for awhile, grinning nervously at each other.

“I…may have chosen my assistants poorly,” Luna admitted, after Rarity started preening Applejack’s tail, looking for split ends.

“They mean well,” Fluttershy said. “And if they don’t get this out of their systems once in awhile, things get really…tense.”

Luna smiled enigmatically at this, and Fluttershy beamed. “So, my dear friend,” Luna began, her voice speculative. “What interests you about this stallion? I’m afraid I don’t know him very well.”

“Well,” Fluttershy replied, a blossom of bashful panic flaring brilliantly to life in her chest. “He’s, um…he likes the outdoors, he…likes animals, um…”

“And he’s got flanks on him like a god..?” Luna grinned mischievously as the little yellow pegasus turned solid, bright red. “Now, now, no need to stand on ceremony with me, Fluttershy, we’re friends.”

“…ys,” Fluttershy squeaked. A very quick pony—Rainbow Dash, say—could have cooked an egg on her forehead.

Luna smiled. “Mmm.” She looked over to Rarity and Applejack, who were struggling lamely with each other on the ground nearby, panting and wheezing. “Are you two feeling all better now?”

“Ah reckon Ah…” Applejack began, then slumped over backwards. “Ah reckon…” she sighed heavily.

Rarity got to her hoofs, primping her now-stick-laden mane pompously. “I think everything’s sorted out now, yes,” she said imperiously, giving the recumbent Applejack a little prod in the belly with her back foot.

“Oh, now you’ve done it,” Applejack began, rearing back with blazing eyes—

“Enough,” Luna said, pleasantly. Magical command suffused the word, stunning the two ponies and locking their eyes on the princess, who was smiling cheerfully. Their muscles seemed to lock into place, and they couldn’t seem to bring themselves to break eye contact with Luna.

Luna let this last a moment, then blinked. “Thank you,” she said, and the two collapsed into a heap at her hooves. “Now, Fluttershy,” she said, seriously. “We are here, as your friends, to do whatever we can to help you ‘break the ice’ with this stallion—“

“Macintosh,” Fluttershy put in.

“—Macintosh, yes,” Luna continued, smiling. “When I say that my role as the patron of romance is a ‘blessing’, I don’t mean anything magical; romance is something built between two ponies. My ‘blessing’ is advice, and encouragement to pursue your interest. I brought these two along because I thought they might be of use,” she added, giving them a sour look. Applejack and Rarity had the grace to look embarrassed.

“That’s very thoughtful of you, princess, but…um…I would hate to bother him…”

“I can’t even imagine him being bothered by you, dear,” Rarity said, trying to make up for lost ground.

“Well, it is gettin’ towards buckin’ season, but Ah—“ Rarity gave Applejack another little kick, which Applejack returned, slightly harder. Rarity stumbled, growling at Applejack, who grinned. Luna cleared her throat gently and the two of them looked up at her, apologetic grins slapped across their faces.

“The seed of love must be planted in the rich soil of your attraction to blossom,” Luna said, keeping a stern gaze on the two. “You must go and seek him out, or you’ll never get any further than watching him from these bushes.”

Fluttershy looked away, shyly. “I kind of like watching him from the bushes,” she murmured.

Luna grinned. “I imagine so,” she said, savoring Applejack’s little shudder. “But there are other joys you can discover together—“ Applejack’s eyes rolled back into her head— “If you overcome your fear of things going poorly.”

The little yellow pegasus looked up at her princess, eyes shifting left and right nervously. “I suppose you’re right, but…I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“Neither would I,” Luna admitted. “Modern ponyfolk are simpler, and yet much more complex, in their romantic behavior than I recall.” Luna smiled shyly. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t here to learn a little myself. I can only help in small ways, Fluttershy…as ever, you must trust in the magic of friendship to lead the way.”

They turned and looked at Rarity and Applejack, who were wearing the falsest smiles imaginable while murmuring at each other out of the corners of their mouths. Rarity noticed that Luna’s attention was on them and elbowed Applejack in the side. Applejack shoved back, and Rarity gave her a desperate expression indicating the Princess. The earth pony shot her a vicious look, but turned to face the princess, who was giving them an indulgent smile.

“Er, right,” she said. “Friendship. Right.”

“Absolutely,” Rarity chirped.

“Friendship.”

“Yes.”

(A)

“Now, listen,” Applejack said firmly, “Ah know Rarity’s gonna disagree with me on this one, but Big Mac ain’t just any stallion wanderin’ around Ponyville. Although,” she added, wretching a little, “I ‘spose y’all been noticin’ that already.”

Fluttershy nodded, blushing. The four ponies had retired to a barn where a huge, complicated still banged and gurgled away with terrifying irregularity.

“What Ah’m sayin’ is it’s not gonna be a, ya know, lah-dee-dah, ‘Oh good sirrah, let us now away to Sugar Cube Corner and find ourselves a corner to sip tea in delightfully’ sort of thing, right?” Rarity’s eyes were agog at Applejack’s sudden transition to a high-class Manehattan accent, which made the orange earth pony smile at her smugly.

“Right,” Fluttershy said, nodding firmly. “Um. What will it be, then?”

“Well this here’s a farm,” Applejack said, sagely. “And Big Mac’s a farmer right down to the last inch of him. Anypony after mah big brother’s gotta be willin’ to pull their fair share when the work needs doin’…so ya gotta show him that yer a tough lil’ filly underneath all that…” Applejack looked at Fluttershy, who was cringing bashfully under her friend’s gaze. "Uh…All that adorable.”

“Oh…okay,” Fluttershy said. “What did you…have in mind?”

“Haulin’.”

“What!? Applejack, surely you can’t be serious,” Rarity shouted.

“Serious as the sun is shiny,” Applejack said, smiling broadly, “Savin’ your presence, o’ course, yer highness.” Luna shook her head, looking amused.

“Hauling…” Fluttershy said, looking nervous.

“Now don’t you get too worked up now, not gonna give ya one of mah loads, heh heh,” Applejack said, proudly. “We got lil’ carts for Apple Bloom.”

“If the cart is for Apple Bloom, how does it show that she’s tough?” Rarity huffed.

“This may be a bit of a surprise for ya, Ah know,” Applejack said, coolly, “But Ah ain’t quite as stupid as Ah look, about ponies an’ such.” She tapped her head knowingly. “’Taint about showin’ she can haul a lot, it’s showin’ she’s willin’ to pony up and do her share. An’ anyways, after a couple o’ seasons our Fluttershy will be as big as Mac himself, I reckon.” She gave Fluttershy a friendly ribbing, but the little pegasus looked really nervous.

“Honestly,” Rarity huffed, again.

“If that is your advice, Applejack, thank you for it,” Luna said, sagely. She looked to Fluttershy. “Are you willing to accept it?”

Fluttershy looked around the barn fretfully. “Um, I…I…”

“Jus’ go out there and ask Mac if he could use some help,” Applejack said brightly. “An’ when he says, ‘Eeeunope’ in that stupid voice o’ his, jus’ tell ‘im to load ya up anyways. Once y’all are haulin’ together, it’s only a matter o’ time afore y’all will be gabbin’ an chattin’ yer purty lil’ head off.”

“Well…if you’re sure…” Fluttershy stood up, trembling a little bit. Applejack pointed to a little cart, and with a graceful wave of her horn, Luna drew the harness over Fluttershy’s back.

“Yer wings, hun,” Applejack prompted. They shot out like thunderbolts, a couple of feathers falling limply to the barn floor. Luna and Rarity gave Fluttershy a look of pure delight, and the pegasus turned bright crimson. Applejack, on the other hand, went a little green.

Wings out of the way, Applejack fastened the harness around Fluttershy’s midsection—grumbling under her breath—and stepped back. “Alright now, you…get along, then,” she said, trying to sound enthusiastic about seducing her brother.

Fluttershy looked back at her friends, who gave her an eager ‘go, go’ motion with their hooves, and with visible effort began dragging the cart out into the field where Big Mac was bucking. Rarity, Luna, and Applejack all peered out around the door, Applejack blowing Rarity’s mane out of her face irritably.

After awhile, Fluttershy got out to Bic Macintosh. He was at a particularly small tree at the top of a little hill and was giving some careful thought to how hard to buck it, chewing a long grass stem thoughtfully.

“Um, excuse me,” Fluttershy said, straining.

Big Mac looked down. “Apple Bloom? Don’t ya have scho—oh,” he said, a little stunned at Fluttershy’s determined little smile as she hauled helplessly at the unladen cart. “Uh, good afternoon, miss Fluttershy.”

“Is it?” she asked, weakly.

“Why…why do you have—“ He looked to the barn. There was a conspicuous absence of anypony else. “What’re ya doin’ out here with a cart?”

“Just thought…I’d ask if…” Fluttershy finally pulled up next to him, panting heavily. “You need…any…help,” she managed.

“Uh, Ah don’t, no,” he said.

Fluttershy looked up at him with a determined expression. They stared at each other for awhile, Fluttershy’s gaze occasionally falling along the lines of his strong forelegs until she caught herself and looked up at him, blushing.

“Was that all ya wanted?” Mac hazarded.

“What? Oh,” Fluttershy said, looking around frantically. “Didn’t I say?”

“Say…what?”

“Um, when you said, um, Nope, I’m suppose—I’m going to say, er, I meant to say…when you said nope, I say, um, ‘Load me up anyways,’” Fluttershy said in stocatto, fluent Nervous.

Mac looked at her for awhile more. “Look, don’t…take this th’ wrong way,” he said carefully, “But if Ah put one apple in that cart, yer gonna roll all the way back to th’ barn bein’ pulled behind it.”

“No! I mean, no,” Fluttershy said. “I can do it. Um. I’m…I’m tough!” She puffed out her chest proudly, looking terrified. With grunts of effort she trotted up and put the cart beneath the little tree. “See? Now, uh, give it a buck,” she said. “If…if you don’t mind.”

Big Mac looked from the cart, to Fluttershy’s anxious and strained expression, to the tree. “Well, all right, if ya insist,” he said. He turned around and resumed his careful calculations.

Fluttershy, who was straining to keep the cart next to the tree, lost her patience. “Are you…gonna buck me…or what?” she panted.

Big Mac’s leg extended straight backwards.

The tree showered apples into the cart, far more than such a little tree should have been able to. The sudden shock of the apples falling into the little cart startled Fluttershy, who lost her footing with a yelp. The laden cart, wheels spinning madly, tumbled down across the orchard at breakneck speed, dragging Fluttershy behind it wailing in terror. Big Mac galloped after her, reaching for her flailing hooves, but she just kept falling short of his reach.

With a quiet tinkle of metal fatigue, the harness snapped open and Fluttershy fell out of it tumbling head-over-hooves. The cart careened backwards towards—

The still barn.

Mac let Fluttershy tumble against his side, grunting as her weight hit him full-on. There was a terrified scream from the barn, and a multicolored blur made a hasty escape as the laden cart hit a rock and flipped end-over-end into the open door.

“Ya might want to cover yer eyes,” Mac shouted. Fluttershy curled against him, trembling in agonies of self-inflicted horror.

The stills, ancient and semi-magical by dint of long and hallowed use, detonated.

It wasn’t a sharp blast, more of a warm, wet whoomph as the brain-melting apple brandy, an Apple family secret for generations, all exploded at the same time. There was a hideous, sickly stench of burning sugar and Mac’s eyes watered madly as alcohol fumes, stinging and choking, spread across the farm.

Sneezing and hacking, he got to his hooves. Fluttershy, suddenly robbed of his comforting embrace, looked up at him in terror.

“I—I—I—“ she stammered. He smiled at her, which only seemed to make it worse. “Yeep!” she cried, and with a speed that would have shocked Rainbow Dash to see, she leapt into the sky, her wings flapping wildly.

There was a thwip of air displacement, and Twilight Sparkle appeared behind Mac. “What just happened!?” she cried. “And was that—Fluttershy?”

Mac turned to her, his eyes red and expression lazy as his mind was saturated with alcohol. “Ah have no idea,” he said, and collapsed.

Nearby, Rarity struggled against Applejack’s weight as the orange earth pony refused to move from the spot where she stood, staring in silent horror at the still-burning wreckage of the barn.

“Come on, you—“ Rarity said, pulling at her friend as hard as she could.

Luna stepped forward and lifted Applejack gently from the ground with her magic. Streams of silent tears were running down Applejack’s face, which was a rictus of horror and shock.

Rarity sighed. “Applejack, come on,” she said, insistently. “We have to find Fluttershy—“

“You…” Applejack muttered. “You..!” She suddenly burst into vicious motion, struggling against Luna’s magic. The princess had to brace herself against the earth pony’s vicious attempts to lunge at Rarity. “Ya blew up mah barn! AGAIN!”

“What!? I had nothing to do with this! This was your idea—“

“It’s your idea ta go meddlin’ with everypony’s love lives! And what happens every time!? Lemme go, I’m gonna shave this filly’s mane right down to the coat—“

Rarity snarled. “You will do no. Such. Thing.”

“Barn-burner!”

“Cowgirl!”

“Fussbudget!”

“Fillystine!”

“Meddlin’ lil’—“

“Unwashed peasant—“

“Enough!” Luna’s voice thundered. The two ponies froze, mid-insult, and turned their heads to the Princess, who regarded them irritably. “Enough, my little ponies. Twilight Sparkle is here to take care of Macintosh and the barn. We need to find Fluttershy.”

The two glared at each other for a moment, until Luna gave them a very intense look of irritation. As they relaxed, Luna lowered Applejack to the ground gently.

“Very well,” Rarity said, with forced calm. She glanced at Applejack’s stony expression nervously. “Where should we begin looking?”

“Where else?” Applejack said, every word out of her mouth spoken with the careful precision of someone speaking through their teeth. “Ah ‘spect givin’ ‘er house a once-over would be as good a place to start as any, don’t you think?”

“Indeed,” Rarity said, tossing her hair haughtily.

“Indeed,” Applejack sneered. Rarity’s eyes, ablaze, spun on the earth pony, but before anything happened, they caught the chilly look Luna gave them.

“Which. Way?” asked the Princess of the Moon, her eyes radiating furious power.

As one pony, Rarity and Applejack pointed to the path leading to Fluttershy’s house.

“Thank you,” Luna said, and with a blink her expression changed from enraged moon goddess to cheerful princess in an instant. She trotted off, looking pleased. Rarity and Applejack gave each other a wary look of mutual relief, and followed after her, each only occasionally giving the other a dirty look.

(A)

The three ponies arrived at Fluttershy’s house as afternoon really began its descent into early evening. The air was thick and warm, and in the little copse where Fluttershy made her home, animals of all kinds were relaxing in the drunken feeling of late summer.

As they approached across the little bridge leading to her door, Angel the bunny hopped forward to meet them. Luna looked down at it, smiling fondly.

“Is she here?” the princess asked.

Angel nodded, and then made a complicated gesture that Applejack and Rarity couldn’t follow.

“Oh, my,” Luna said, concerned. “We’ll see to her, little one, fret not. Thank you, little friend.”

Angel nodded and hopped away, taking the time to give Rarity and Applejack a nervous look.

“Er…what’s up, princess?” Applejack asked, humbly.

“Fluttershy is…distressed,” Luna said, calmly, stepping elegantly across the little bridge. “We must be careful.”

The three ponies approached the door, cicadas ringing loudly around them. Luna raised a hoof, tentatively, and gave her companions a sheepish smile. Setting her expression firmly, she turned back to the door and gave it a firm knock. “Fluttershy..?”

“I don’t want to see anypony! Go away!” Fluttershy’s voice raged from the door.

“It’s Luna, Fluttershy. Please, can we talk?”

A pause.

“No!”

Luna sighed, and gave Rarity and Applejack a weak smile.

“Sugarcube, open up,” Applejack called. “It’s okay, we jus’ wanna talk—“

“No!”

Rarity and Applejack shared a look. “Darling, please, everypony is worried about you—“

“Go away!”

Luna sighed. “I really do not want to do this, but…” she said, guiltily. Her eyes flickered to the door and back. Rarity and Applejack gave her a grim nod. Summoning her powers, Luna reached out and, with care, tore the door free from its hinges and set it to one side.

“There are some advantages to incomprehensible cosmic power, I suppose,” Luna said, shyly, as Rarity and Applejack looked at her in wonder. They entered.

Fluttershy’s normally bright and cheery house was dark; Rarity and Luna summoned little globes of light to guide them as they scanned the interior for any sign of their friend.

“Fluttershy!” Applejack called. “Where y’all at, sugarcube?”

Silence.

“Come on out, dear,” Rarity said, gently. “We just want to talk.”

“No!”

The three ponies’ heads turned towards a corner, where a stack of pillows and blankets lie in a haphazard heap on the floor. Differences forgotten, the three gave each other a look of deep concern.

“Should I—“ Luna began. Her tone made it clear that she could have Fluttershy uncovered for them in an instant if she so desired.

“No, I don’t think so,” Rarity said quietly.

“Go away,” the heap moaned, shuddering.

“Now don’tcha fret, hun,” Applejack said, kindly. “Everythin’s gettin’ all fixed up out at Sweet Apple Acres. Twi’s there takin’ care of Mac just as best as she can, so he’s all right.”

The heap remained silent and still for a time.

“Um,” Rarity began, looking to Applejack, “I’m sorry things didn’t go quite as planned.”

The heap didn’t stir.

“Ah ain’t angry at ya or nothin’, hun,” Applejack said. “Coulda happened to anypony.”

Still nothing from the heap.

Luna smiled gently. “Fluttershy, I know this seems like something you could never fix,” she said, letting the immortal serenity of her voice flow as strongly as she could. “But if you act quickly, you can make things even better than they were before.”

Again silence reigned for a long, long moment. Then the heap shifted and two pale cyan eyes peered out, tears flowing from them. “…are you sure?”

“Sure as sunrise, sugarcube,” Applejack said, smiling sadly.

Fluttershy’s eyes closed, and she lifted herself up and out of the pile of bedding. Her face was a miserable wreck of terror and shame. All three of her friends rushed forward, surrounding her in gentle, warm hugs and nuzzles, whispering comfort to her as her tears started flowing wildly and uncontrolled once again.

“Shhh…” Applejack whispered. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” She hugged her friend, who clung to her and sobbed.

“I’m so sorry! I’m…I’m…I didn’t mean it,” Fluttershy wailed.

“We know, dear. Don’t worry,” Rarity said. Her hoof brushed Applejack, and they both started, stunned.

It took awhile to get everypony calm again. Fluttershy’s panic was infectious, and eventually it took a lot of quiet and a fresh cup of warm tea to get things settled—even for Luna, whose discomfort actually made the other ponies feel better. It told them that what was happening really mattered.

“How could I ever fix this?” Fluttershy whispered. The loss in her voice was heartbreaking.

“Don’tcha worry none about the barn,” Applejack said firmly. “If Ah know Twi, she’s already got it up again jus’ ta see if she can.”

Luna chuckled hollowly at this, although the other ponies didn’t understand why. “Probably,” the princess said, taking a sip of her tea.

“That ain’t important now, though,” Applejack said. “If’n I know Mac, and I think I have jus’ a lil’ insight inta mah own brother, he’s worried eight kinds of sick about ya.” She took a deep breath. “He’ll want ta know you’re okay, sugarcube, and…” she trailed off, uncomfortably, meeting Rarity’s gaze with an expression of uncomfortable submission.

“What Applejack is getting at, dear, is that if you show that you’re resilient, it will…how can I put this…” Rarity sighed and thought carefully about her wording. Her instinct was just to hug Fluttershy and let her have a good, long cry, but this was a crisis of strategy in the war of love. “If you show you’re resilient—apologetic, yes, but that a crisis or mistake won’t break you…”

Fluttershy stared at her tea, looking fretsome. “I really didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“Nobody thinks you did, dear,” Rarity said, hurriedly.

“Fluttershy, in love, you must show your best—and more than that, you must show that you’re willing and able to grow beyond what already is, towards the dream of what could be,” Luna said, quietly.

Fluttershy looked up at the princess solemnly. “That…do you think I could..?”

“Yes,” Luna said, firmly.

Silence reigned amongst the ponies for a very long time. Each of them shared long glances with the other, looking serious and a little worried.

“Fluttershy,” Luna said, eventually, “There is strength in you that you have not yet realized.”

“We’ve seen it, hun,” Applejack said, encouragingly. “Ya faced a dragon.”

“If you want a really real love,” Rarity said, feeling a little off-balance, “You’ll need all of it.”

Fluttershy lowered her head and looked at the floor anxiously. “But…what if your brother isn’t really interested in me, Applejack?”

“Then he’s a bigger idiot than Ah think he is, first of all,” Applejack said with a laugh.

Luna nodded. “More importantly, whether he is or not, don’t you think he’d be most interested in a vision of you at your best—especially one that shows the promise of what you can be?”

Fluttershy looked away, out a window, her expression anxious but thoughtful. Afternoon was sinking into evening, the sun burning red and yellow into the horizon. Fluttershy’s animal friends lounged in the clearing, contentedly going about their lives.

Rarity grinned. “I think I know just the thing!” she said, brightly. The other ponies looked to her curiously, and she smiled gleefully. “Just trust Rarity, and everything will be fine.”

(A)

Nighttime fell on Sweet Apple Acres.

Stars burned brightly in the sky against a beautiful crescent moon, which filled the world with just enough pale light to give hints of mystery in the play of shadows across familiar land; the light played radiantly off the fields of apple trees, gleaming from the rich fruit still hanging thereupon here and there like diamonds amongst rock.

The lingering stench of burning sugar still suffused the air, a constant reminder of the day’s events, but nevertheless the orchard was suffused with a sense of the unreal—a transcendent feeling of impending, as if what took place under the moon tonight was of special importance or significance.

Big Macintosh wandered amongst the familiar trees carelessly, even this close to the Ever-Free Forest. If he was honest, and he always was, he had been happy to receive a message asking him to be out here. Being fretted over by Twilight Sparkle as she hovered six different books around herself, consulting them impulsively, grew tiresome quickly. It had been remarked that Mac was not a pony of excessive learning, and that much was apparently true; but he had the long, slow wisdom of those who moved through life carefully cultivating memory and thought with purposeful intensity. Twilight often struck him as unusually abrupt and inclined to change her mind with alarming quickness because of an offhand comment in a book, and thus as a doctor she had a great deal to learn about bedside manner.

The tall stallion wandered as far west as he dared in the night, his head held proud despite the remaining haze of alcohol in his mind. If anything, that made him feel more inclined to be out here, on such a lovely night. He sniffed the air gratefully and felt himself relax for the first time since—

Since he felt Fluttershy curl herself against him, whimpering.

He smiled gently, and let the memory replay itself in his mind, drunk on the romance.

In the distance, Luna finished her carefully-considered display of magical prowess and turned to Rarity. “Act now, or act not,” she said, her voice lent a tone of immortal gravity by the massive cosmic power she wielded. By her will, the will of the pegasi that this night be cloudy and oppressive was held at bay; instead, she summoned all of her dream-like power to fill the world with beauty and tranquility under a sea of stars.

Rarity nodded and gave Fluttershy a friendly nod. The pegasus grinned at her and stepped forward, nervously. Applejack, standing nearby, gave Fluttershy a smile, which the Pegasus returned gratefully, and she spread her wings and departed into the night with a whisper of wingbeats.

As Fluttershy vanished into the hazy blue-grey light of the moon, Rarity gave her companions a fretful look. “No matter what happens,” she said, “I want to say that I really meant it for the best.” Applejack and Luna gave her indulgent smiles, and Rarity chuckled sheepishly.

Macintosh wandered idly amongst the trees. Even silence seemed calming to him, now; so many strange things had occurred in Ponyville recently that he appreciated a little quiet. Variety is the spice of life, he reflected, but spice was meant to compliment the solid base of the meal, not be the meal itself. Magic had come into his life in the form of Twilight Sparkle, beloved of Princess Celestia; and the more Applejack got involved with the purple unicorn, the more chaotic things became…

Mac sighed. That was probably for the best, all things considered. Kept life interesting.

“I’m sorry,” came a little squeak from a shadow, nearby.

Mac paused. There was no mistaking the voice. “Are you?”

“Um…yes.”

“Ah appreciate it,” Mac said, closing his eyes. “But Ah don’t blame you none.”

Silence reigned for a time. Mac let his smile speak for him.

“Did Twilight rebuild the barn?”

“Ha! To say the least,” Mac said, his deep voice dancing across the syllables. “I ‘spect it’s better than it ever was.” He opened his eyes, facing the voice.

Fluttershy stepped out of the shadows, her head held low and demure, her expression remorseful. “That’s…nice.”

Mac smiled at her, and she gave a weak little grin of her own. “It was about time we replaced it anyhow,” he said.

Fluttershy stepped into the light. She was wearing a spectacular gown, moonlight dancing off of it like fairy lights in an incomprehensible pattern of beautiful randomness.

“Ah expect Rarity made that fine dress o’ yours,” Mac said, for lack of anything better to say.

“Oh,” Fluttershy said, looking away shyly. “Yes.” She seemed to rally herself a little, and looked him straight in the eye. “Well, I say that, but…she made it for me a long time ago,” the little pegasus said, nervously. “I wore it tonight…for you.”

“Ah’m lucky, then,” Mac said, quietly.

“Um,” Fluttershy said, nervously, “This was her idea, too.”

“That’s fine.”

Fluttershy lurked, for awhile, on the edges of moonlight, looking anxious. Macintosh, knowing the tune and playing along without effort, stood silently in the harsh moonlight of the orchard, saying nothing, but watching the light play off of Fluttershy’s dress with idle fascination as she wandered around him in a nervous circle.

“I’m sorry for what happened,” she said, eventually.

“Don’t worry yourself none,” he replied.

Fluttershy stepped inwards, just a little. “But I do,” she said, quietly.

“It ain’t a great pain to me, lil’ one,” Mac replied affectionately.

Fluttershy stepped closer to Mac, looking away shyly as she let her flank rub against his. A flare of excitement ran through him.

“Macintosh,” she said, quietly. “I—“

A howl rang out in the night. Close—too close.

“Oh, bah Nightmare,” Mac cursed.

The yellow-white eyes prowled around them, suddenly hellish bright in the dark of the orchard. Snarls burned through the silence like fire across paper. Macintosh’s quiet joy flared into terror as the wolves, ten feet tall, gnarled and vicious, let themselves be seen.

The only time predators let themselves be seen was when they knew their prey had no chance of escape.

Mac felt Fluttershy curl against him. His fear was tempered, and he let his face fall into an expression of deadly calm.
(A)

“Timber wolves!” Applejack hissed to Luna and Rarity. The white unicorn looked terrified; she couldn’t see the wolves but she, like Applejack, had heard their lonesome, soul-chilling howls. “We have to—“

“No,” Luna said, her eyes closed in concentration.

“Princess, we have to—“ Rarity stammered, frantically. “This wasn’t what I meant to happen—“

“No,” Luna repeated. Her eyes opened, blazing with power. The two ponies stared at her, awed.

“Have faith,” the princess said, serenely.

(A)

There were ten of them, each at least as big as Macintosh, snarling hungrily.

Something was seriously wrong, if they had wandered this far out of the Ever-Free Forest. Usually they preyed only on those unwary enough to venture into the deep places of the forest, cautious of wandering onto the Apple family properties nearby after long experience. Macintosh tried his best to keep as many of the circling wolves in view as he could, his head spinning madly as he tried to figure his way out of the situation.

His mind was clouded by terror, every time he felt the little pressure of Fluttershy press itself against him, whimpering.

“Go on!” Mac shouted. “Get!”

The lead timber wolf, an ancient beast whose head was a massive nightmare of scarred wood, seemed to chuckle, as if it were bright enough to revel in the terror of the huddling ponies.

“Go on!” Macintosh bellowed frantically.

The lead timber wolf paused in its circling prowl, readying itself to pounce. Macintosh saw the creature’s vision linger on the proud flesh of the stallion’s neck, rich with meat and sweet-tasting blood—

“BAD DOG!” thundered a voice from his side.

Macintosh looked down, stunned. The little begowned pegasus next to him had planted her heels firmly in the grass, and her expression was set with determination.

“Go on!” she thundered, her eyes throbbing with intensity. “GET!”

The lead timber wolf regarded her curiously, then settled itself into a position to pounce, snarling. Fluttershy shoved Macintosh aside and set her face in a vicious smile of triumph. The beast leapt, and—

Mac was never quite sure what had happened next, but there was a blur of motion and a chaotic haze of flailing limbs and indistinct shouts, and the next thing he remembered was—

Fluttershy stood before him, panting, the timber wolves fleeing towards the forest whining in terror as they retreated into the impenetrable gloom. Her gown was ripped, but this did nothing but make its glimmer in the moonlight, a massive wave of light matching every heave of her deep breaths, all the more beautiful.

"And if you come back, I'll use you for firewood!" Fluttershy shouted.

She turned on Mac, a ferocious grin spreading across her features, and before he knew it, her lips were on his, kissing him voraciously.

“Mah hero,” he murmured between kisses.

“Eeeyup,” she whispered in his ear, breathlessly, and then—

(A)

Luna smiled. Rarity and Applejack looked up at her, expectantly.

“All is well,” the princess said, her grin infecting the other ponies.

Applejack let out a huge heave of a sigh. “Thank goodness,” she said. “Ah was this close to runnin’ out there mahself.”

Luna grinned awkwardly. “I’m not sure that would be a good idea at this point,” she said, earnestly.

Applejack grimaced. “Spare me the details,” she said, looking a little ill. Rarity gave her a nuzzle, making Applejack chuckle. The chuckle extended to Rarity, then grew into a full-bodied laugh of frenzied relief, and the two ponies collapsed in each other’s arms, laughing and crying as their emotions ran wild.

“Don’t think this means Ah’ve forgotten the barn,” Applejack said, clutching Rarity to herself fiercely. Rarity let out a howl of laughter, which was met gratefully by Applejack’s.

In the darkness of the night Princess Luna smiled, and with a gentle whisper of magic, vanished in an invisible wink, her tasks accomplished, her duty reclaimed and renewed in joy.

Underneath a star-drenched sky, love blossomed anew, watched tenderly by the moon.

(A)

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned an important lesson about friendship.

Sometimes your friends give you advice and encouragement, but things go wrong. The important thing to remember is that they are always just doing their best to help you be happy, and that by trusting them and cooperating, you can achieve great and wonderful things.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle.

Princess Celestia looked up from the note, sipping tea with a pleased expression. A good lesson, and one more ponies could stand to bear in mind.

She realized something was odd about this letter, though-- it was slightly longer than normal. She carefully unrolled the remainder of the scroll and read it carefully. In a different quillwriting altogether, it read:

P.S. I am totally in love with you, please notice me.

Another, scratchier script:

P.P.S. BUY MORE APPLES

And finally, in a third distinct hoof:

P.P.P.S. Why is Prince Blueblood still at court? Surely there's a farm somewhere that could use a stablehand?

Celestia lowered the parchment, her eyes narrowed irritably.

"Luna!"

~The End~