A Song a Day keeps the Blues Away

by Grey Faerie

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 8561

Discord and Pinkie sing songs for different reasons.

Discord and Pinkie sing songs for different reasons.

First chapter, they fill in for the singers for Hearts and Hooves day.
Second chapter, Discord dances around the kitchen.
Third chapter, Pinkie bugs AppleJack.
Forth chapter, Twilight narrates the craziness.
Final chapters, Discord's Birthday party.
Extra chapter, is a rewriting of The Cell Block Tango from Chicago. Be warned as it does allude to sexytime and murder.

Woo, TheExhaustedBrony did a recording of the first two chapters. Go check them out!

Pic from Kman-Studio on deviantart

Published 2013-09-14 04:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-06 03:30:58 UTC

For my Fans

It was a sunny day. Perfect for Hearts and Hooves day! Yes, perfect. The town was decorated with all sorts of pink banner and heart cutouts. Cause Pink is so awesome. Apparently so. Everypony was excited. There were couple specials going on at the cafes. Two pony games at the mini golf place. Who takes their date Mini Golfing? Golf is so boring. It's so the guy can stand behind the girl and show her how to swing. I'd much rather swing dance or Tango. Yes, yes, so thrilling.

That night in the town square, there was to be a dance. The stage was already set up and the dance floor laid out. Isn't the town square more of a circle? It is! But I guess they call it that for formal reasons. The tables and chairs were to be set up later. Most of the speaker equipment was set up as well.

At the moment, Pinkie and Discord were very busy helping the Cakes at the Bakery. It was craziness! But fun, a good kind of chaos, not the kind your friends made that one other time. They said sorry. Yes, they did. Moving on. It was always hectic before and during Hearts and Hooves day. Customers rushing in and out. All the tables were full. Breaks were taken in a cycle so the baking could continue. It was awful hot in there. Yeah, I had to keep a water bottle by me. It was crazy running around and still having to be calm enough to decorate. Yeah, so awful.

What about the rest of my friend? What were they doing? Applejack was selling her own pastries, Twilight was loaning out books, And blushing about the content. Rainbow Dash was managing the weather, Rarity was doing last touch ups on outfits and quick repairs, I wonder what kind of naughty attire she had to come up with? and Fluttershy was managing some of the park animals so they don't accidentally ruin a date. That sounds like a fun prank to do. It does.

I would ask if you two want to tell the story with how much you're talking but you'll probably ruin it. Hey! Or get off topic. But... Or say rude things about people. Maybe.

It was a lovely day, if I say so myself. But I didn't get to see most of it. I was stuck in the kitchen of Sugarcube corner, helping out. Cause that's what I do now. I help ponies. And to make up for breaking the oven last month. Gah, I fixed it! Anyway, everypony was all lovey dovey yatta yatta. It was that night that the fun began! How about last week when Pinkie shot you down as being her date? That wasn't fun! And, and it was a misunderstanding! She would have loved to be my date but she had to work. So there. Humph. It was pretty fun to me. You got all depressed.

That night was warm. Perfect for a stroll with you special somepony. Not so much for dancing. Woo, does the dance floor get hot! And I'm not just talking about my dancing. Bam! The sound system was all set up and the place was fully decorated. Everypony in town for the most part was gathered around to enjoy the event. Pinkie and I were going to tear it up! We closed up the shop for the Cakes as they went to drop of the kids with what ever loser couldn't get a date that day. Don't say that! Anyway, everypony was there for the event. But, it was soon apparent something was wrong. It was almost time and the band hadn't shown up. Pinkie, the experienced party planner, went to the event coordinators to see what was wrong. They really should have consulted me. I know all about parties and backup plans for if things go wrong. I always have a backup plan. They didn't want to bother you cause you had to work in the bakery that day. But I did a lot of other consulting with the other places doing events! Yes, but this would have needed you to be there that day. Still, they should have talked to me. Yeah, yeah, they should have. But they didn't and you went to see what was wrong.

The band that was suppose to play that night was stuck miles away. The train they were on had broken down. They were coming by carriage but were still at least two hours away. They're be coming around the mountain when they come. Exactly. The staff were upset because they would have to shut down the event. And that's were we came in!

I volunteered to fill in until either the band came or another could be rounded up. And I couldn't just leave her all alone on that big ol' stage. So, I helped out with my superb singing. Everyone was so surprised when we came on stage. They really didn't know what to expect. Then the music started to play and we sang our hearts out. Yeah! It was fine. We sang a song for the Cakes. Want to hear it? Not really. Come on Grey! It's fun. You ready Dissy? When you are.

We were on stage and took a moment tell the crowd, "This one goes out to my family, The Cakes!" They were all teary eyed and embarrassed, giggle.

They then commenced to sing Honey and the Bee by Owl City.

How wonderful, you got to sing a song. We sang a whole bunch others, want to hear? No. Maybe later then.

It ended up being a good show. Who would doubt it? In the end, the band never got there in time.Which is kinda sad all except we got to sing all night long. What did you two do after the show?

What do you mean? There was still plenty of time after the show to do something for Hearts and Hooves day. So what did you do?

Oh, we went on a walk to cooled down. We had talked to a lot of people after the show. We talked about how fun the show was and how fun it'll be to do it next year. It was nice. That's it? You went for a nice little walk.

Well, we were kinda tired after working all day and then putting on a show. Yeah, but this is you and Discord. How tired could you get? You both have more energy than the town combined, each.

That is true but what is also true is that we don't kiss and tell. You might not but Pinkie will. Tell me, Tell me, Tell me, Tell me. Oh well...

Pinkie! You can leave. It's going to be girl talk anyway. Some how, that doesn't leave me feeling reassured.

Good, he's gone. Now, what happened that night, hmm? Giggle.

Author's Note

As a reminder, click the drop down bar with the colorful circle to change the background color.

Ringing in My Head

Hey Discord!

Gah! You actually seem happy to see me? Why?

Keep acting like that and maybe I won't ever be happy to see you. Now, you've got to listen to the funniest thing that happened today.

Yeah! It was hilarious. Hehe.

Really? Tell me!

So, you know it's Apple Buck season and A.J. has wisely chosen to ask for some help. Everyone's been helping out and stuff but today it was only to be Pinkie who had time. I decided to come along and use my magic to help.

Yes yes, fine. So, what was the funny thing?

She's getting to it. Giggle.

Okay, so we were help out when it started to get really boring. Pinkie decided to start singing. And I have to say, it's amazing she can sing and work like that.

Thank you!

Welcome. But, after a while, she decided to start singing Banana Phone!

Banana Phone? Really?

Yes! It was hilarious. The best part being how annoyed A.J. got. Ha!

It was late afternoon when Pinkie decided to start singing. Everypony was tired and waiting for the work to be done. When...

"Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring Banana Phone!!!" Pinkie sang loudly.

'Grr, if she sings one more line of that blasted song I'ma going to go crazy!' A.J. thought to herself.

"Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding Donana Phone!"

"That's it! I've had it!" A.J. suddenly shouted. Pinkie and I looked bewildered as she ran over to the lunch palls and rifled through them.

She then pulled out a banana.

"Hello!?" Applejack demanded.

"Knock knock?" asked Pinkie.

"Who's there?" A.J. growled out.

"Banana."

"Banana who?"

"Caw Caw Caw! Bahahaha." Pinkie laughed. She fell to the ground in a fit of giggles. I fell laughing too. A.J. looked at us like we've gone mad.

"Don't you get it? The crow ate the banana!" I managed to get out before laughing some more. Such dumb humor was lost on Applejack. She just threw down the banana and grumbled off.

Hahahahahah! Discord laughed. He rolled around on the ground for a bit. He eventually got up, wiping tears from his eyes. I'm so sad I missed that.

It's okay. I'm going to be helping her tomorrow! Sooo, we've got plenty of time to come up with another song to annoy her with!

Oh Pinkie. I knew there was a reason I loved you.

Not just cause she's sexy?

Hey! he said, blushing. I can like her for more than that. He put his arms on his hips.

Now... he said while rubbing his hands together, I think it's time to think of a few good songs for our Miss Applejack.

Hmm, how about 'It's a Small World'?

Ooo, Pinkie, you feisty devil.

Eww, I think I'll leave you two to figuring out songs on your own, alone, presumably in a bedroom somewhere. Ugh. Then I walk off.

I agree. My house or your's?

Your's. Giggle, how about 'The Song that Never Ends'?

Oh, Pinkie. I love it when you talk to me that way.

A Reason to Party

Today, Twilight will be narrating the story. Oh lord, that's going to be boring. We'll see. Maybe she'll be really fun and bouncy about being the one to tell the story today. I doubt it. Oh My! Do we agree on something!? Once in a blue moon, the planets do aline.

Twilight had a mission. One from Celestia herself. To find Discord...and tell him he needed to clean his room. Much easier said then done. Oh why do I have to do this? She didn't even know where he was. All she knew was Fluttershy had told her Discord, Pinkie, and Pinkie's grumpy friend Grey Faerie were out on a picnic.

She could only imagine what type of 'picnic' they could be on. Fluttershy had said she would have gone with them but a few sick bunnies had come in that morning. Twilight shook her head, That's Fluttershy for you.

As Twilight neared her destination, she heard music. It was a light melody peppered with the occasional whistle. I knew she'd be boring. Shut up Discord. The music got louder as she followed the path to a clearing lined with trees. There was a long dinning room table covered with different shaped and sized tea sets. There were many different chairs all around the table as well. Some in better condition than others.

Sitting at the head of the table was Discord, with Pinkie to his right (my left), and Grey It's Grey Faerie to you. Grey Faerie to his left (my right). Twilight, I think they get it that his right is your left. Okay, okay. They were all dressed up in fancy attire like they were going to a tea party in Canterlot. Only, the clothes were brightly colored and slightly mismatched.

She could also hear exactly what they were singing. It was something about an Unbirthday Party? I think they mean to say birthday.

"Oh, hello Twilight! Care to join us? We're just about to have a spot of tea." Discord then poured the teapot and the tea turned into a flat disc. He took a bite out of the 'spot' of tea.

"I don't have the time. I'm just here because Princess Celestia has asked me to find you. She needs you to come hom..."

"Oh, none of that! You've got plenty of time. Here, I'll make you a touch more fitting for this fancy get together." He snapped his fingers and suddenly Twilight was in a blue dress with a white apron.

"Hmm, I really wish dear Fluttershy could come. She would have looked much better in that dress." He oh so secretively whispered to Grey.

"Ah agrhee." She said sleepily. You couldn't blame me. I've been working long nights to get my new flavorings just right. It was way too early for me to be up. It was two in the afternoon. Exactly.

"I guess I could stay for a moment." But just when I went to sit down, Discord yelled "Switch!" and they all got up and moved around.

"You're lucky we invited you. It's very rude to sit down without being invited."

"I'll say it's rude. It's very, very rude indeed."

"Very very very rude indeed." Grey picked up her head to say before putting it back down.

"So, if I may ask, why are you guys having a picnic? I can see a cake with candles! Is it someone's birthday?" Twilight was excited, "I'm sorry I didn't bring a gift."

"Birthday? Oh no my dear, this is not a birthday party. This is an Unbirthday Party." Discord said with glee. Aha! See, I'm not the only one who says that. Phh.

"An UnBirthday Party? I did hear you guys singing something like that. I really enjoyed your singing." Twilight remarked. Pinkie was offering her a cup of tea before swiftly pulling it back.

"You enjoyed our singing?" Pinkie's grin spread across her face.

"Oh what a delightful child! I don't often get compliments on my singing. I don't really sing, more like go along with the melody." Discord said. He was so happy he accidentally put his elbow in a tea cup. "Have a cup of tea."

"Indeed the tea! You must have a cup of tea." Pinkie said happily before pouring out a saucer and cup along with tea from the pot. I want that tea pot. It'll be really convenient to be able to pour tea anytime I want. Or even other drinks like hot chocolate! But, I'll probably have to have my own whipped cream. You always forget it. I know, I know though I don't know why. I guess I'm more focused on the chocolate. But I wanted that tea pot. You're interrupting me! Discuss this later. Nee nee Nee nee. You're in-ter-rupt-ing me.

Pinkie was again holding out the tea cup when Twilight asked, "What's an Unbirthday Party?"

"It’s very simple Twilight. Now, thirty days have sept- no, when... an unbirthday, if you have a birthday then you... haha... she doesn’t know what an unbirthday is!" Pinkie said after trying to explain.

"How silly! Ha HA Ha Ha! Ah-hum... I shall ellusinate! Now statistics prove, prove that you’ve one birthday." He held out one finger and all the teapots started to make music again.

"Imagine, just one birthday every year. That only gives me one reason to have a party."

"Ahhh, but there are 364 unbirthdays! Plenty of reasons to party."

"Well, it's not my birthday. So I guess it's my unbirthday too." Twilight said.

"You hear that Dissy! What a small world it is." Pinkie said.

"Well in that case, let's sing!" Discord and Pinkie then sung Twilight a very merry unbirthday.

Grey lifted her head and sang a different version of Twinkle, Twinkle little star. I really don't think she's awake at all.

"Oh that was lovely. Now I was going to tell you..." Twilight started.

"That you need a refill of tea." Pinkie interrupted.

"Well, I haven't had any tea so I can't have anymore." Twilight explained.

"Of course you can! You could always have a refill of nothing." Pinkie explained back.

"No you can'..." Twilight started again.

"Now Twilight, something seems to be bothering you." Discord said over a cup of tea.

"Of course there is! I keep trying to explain why I'm here but you guys keep interrupting me!" She said angered.

"What's going on!? Is the chocolate burning!? Oh my gosh I over slept!" The yelling had woken Grey Faerie.

"No, it's nothing! Quick Cordie, get her some camomile." Pinkie said to calm Grey. Discord got her a cup of tea and Grey face planted back on to the table after drinking a sip.

"Now that's over. I was trying to tell you..."

"Let's change the subject. We don't want to wake Grey again. Hey Twilight! Do you know why a raven is like a writing desk?" Discord asked.

"Because Poe wrote on both." She answered back.

"PPppppeh" Discord spat out his tea, "Cough, no one's actually answered that before."

"Now will you listen to me?"

"Sigh, fine." Discord said solmenly.

"Princess Celestia has asked me to tell you that you need to go back to the castle and clean your room." Twilight said victoriously.

"Careful! She’s stark raving mad!" Pinkie yelled.

"Ahahaha, Discord? Cleaning his room?" Grey woke up to laugh.

"Hey! I could clean it up with a snap."

"Then why don't you?" Twilight asked.

"Maybe because I like it the way it is. It's not messy! She just doesn't like the way I redecorated." Discord humphed. "Tea?" he offered Twilight.

"Ugh! Of all the silly nonsense, this is the stupidest tea party I’ve ever been to in all my life! Well, I’ve had enough nonsense. I’m going home. Straight home." With her mission finished, Twilight threw off the dress and stomped off toward home.

Next time, we get Fluttershy. I agree. I agree with Pinkie. Hey! You never did clean your room. As I just explained and you reiterated, I redecorated. Besides, wasn't your mission only to tell Discord that he needed to undecorate his room. Well... You even said it yourself. Ahh, whatever! It's a bother to the princess so you should remedy it. You're right. Of course I'm...what? You're right. I should redecorate the whole castle so my room matches. Pop Hey! That's not what I said. Discord, Discord! Darn it, he's gone. Ugh, I'm going home.

The next day...

by 1-084

by DrChrissy

Author's Note

I decided to added in a note about Discord not singing well. This is based off of John De Lancie saying himself that he doesn't really sing, more like talk along with the melody.

I took some of the line from the scene and augmented them a little to fit the story. Here's a link to a script version of the movie, Alice in Wonderland.

April's Birthday Fool Part One

It was the middle of spring. Still cold but new growth everywhere. Who am I kidding? It's freezing. It's way too cold for it to be spring. Grey. No! I get to tell it. But... No! We let Twilight narrate with no interruptions. Let me tell it. Sigh, fine. You're lucky Dissy isn't here.

It was March when the grand plan was well under way. It all started last summer during Pinkie's Birthday party.

It had been such a surperific time! There were balloons and streamer and chocolate everywhere! Diz, aka Dizzy, had agreed to partner up with Grey to make the best chocolate yet! Cordie used one of Grey's few milk chocolate recipes to make a really good chocolate rain. Woah, woah, okay we get it. You have a billion different variations of Discord. What happened to me telling the story? It's my birthday party. Fine...

All my friends had been there. The Cakes too. I remember my last birthday. They decided to let my friends have me during the day then that night, we went out for a little 'family' dinner. Discord was busy arguing with Grey about what recipe to use permanently for the candy cloud they were giving me. The sillies. I didn't think it was silly. I have a great memory. It's like a photographic memory. It is a photographic memory. It's really good. I could remember so many things, like birthday dates. I looked over and knew Grey's birthday but then I realized! I didn't know Big D's. Buahahaha, oh god no. Please never, ever in my presence call him that. Just, no.

So naturally, I went over to ask him. Most 'so naturally' things you come to aren't very...natural.. or logical.

"Hey Dissy! When's your birthday?" I asked really excited. I could just imagine the party I'll throw him.

Oh, I could see how expectant she was. Looking up at me with those big blue eyes. It was so hard to shoot her down.

"I don't have one. Or more accurately, I don't celebrate it." Cordie stated very...stately.

"Gasp, But why!? Birthdays are great! Don't you want to celebrate having survived another year? Of being alive?" I said so deflated. Sorry, I was hanging out with Grey a lot just before then. I think that's a perfectly normal way to describe your birthday.

"Well, my kind don't do birthdays. And, I don't see any reason why I should. I live 'forever' Pinkie dear. There's only so much you can do before you end up doing everything. Only so many presents and ways to celebrate. It's only done until you reach a hundred." Discord had to explain. I'm Discord now? That hurts. It's only cause I was sad at the time D. Lo the day Pinkie calls Discord by his full name...and not one of her many nicknames. I was only doing variations Grey. I haven't even started on nicknames! Joy.

"But wouldn't you want to celebrate your birthday? Ohh, what did you do for you first hundred birthday?" I asked, happy again.

"That was a way long time ago and no. I know what you're thinking darling but no, I don't want a birthday party. Not now or later or ever. And if you do, you'd feel obligated to do it the year after or others will feel obligated. No, no, no. It'll just be too much." Disc-Dissy explained further.

"Ahhh, okay." I said really sad.

"I'm glad you understand my dear. And don't be sad! We can have tons of fun at parties and other people's birthdays." Disc said, lifting my chin. Oh great, another variation.

Woo, flashbacks! We had lots of fun that day. Yes, great. Now it's my turn to continue the story! Wonderful, that leaves me plenty of time to 'occupy' Pinkie. If you know what I...Blam I'd very much like to 'occupy' your head with a spear but I've got a story to tell. Go away.

The grand plan, if you've caught on, is to throw Discord a birthday party. But, what exactly do you do for the very spirit of chaos? It had to be grand and very fun. I had been in my shop, counseling a client over one of my specially made chocolates, when Pinkie came rushing in. Grey's special talent is helping people with their problems, like an agony aunt. Agony is right. I will ignore you to elaborate on my talent. What about the story? I listen to people's problems and give advice. I also make very special chocolate. They coordinate with different emotions. To either make them fully feel the emotion, like to help them cry, or feel the opposite of an emotion, like to make them feel angry or happy. I like how you said 'angry' before 'happy'. Back to the story.

"Grey! Grey, I need your help!" Pinkie shouted before barreling into me. I was stunned for a moment in pain. But, Pinkie helped me up and began to explain. I forget that you're all hurt under there. Which can be taken as a good thing cause you don't act like a disabled person but then bad cause I hug you too tight. I'm not disabled. Just, worn. Okay, sorry. And sorry I keep interrupting. Come on Dissy, there's a love seat in the next room waiting for us. Eww, just eww. Very happy for you, but eww.

"I want to plan a birthday party for Discord. And I know he said not to but I really really want to! I need to." She shuttered out.

"Okay." I said unsure.

"Ooo, so you'll help?" Pinkie looked at me so expectantly.

"Sure, why not. Just as long as I get to smash his face into a cake." I said with a slight smile.

"Awesome! Oh, I'll let you finish up work, then we'll plan!" Pinkie stated just noticing the distressed pony, waiting at the table.

"Okay, go help out the noobies at the resister."

"On it!" Pinkie gladly skipped over to the front desk and watched over the transactions. It was great to have a friend who knew how to run a business.

"...Ooo, and the cake should be like two stories high!" Pinkie exclaimed. She was getting way too excited with the planning.

"No, it can be big but think about how much food there's already going to be. Also, how are we supposed to make a two stories high cake? Hmm?"

"Ohhh, yeah. Well it should be chocolate."

"No, we already have lost of chocolate. It'll be strawberry."

"Strawberry, noooo. If not chocolate, then something else. Something different."

"Not too different. Now, streamers. I think it'll be perfect to have them in the colors of his different parts. Though, we'll leave out whatever color his certain part is."

"Grey! Gees. I like the color idea. What about guests?"

We had gone on for a while about details when Pinkie brought up a very important point.

"What day should it be? That's probably the most important part. It has to be special. Especially since we're just making it up as a one-time thing. Ohh! This is too much! A one-time all out birthday surprise for the most important pony-person-male being in my life! How do I choose anything knowing I can't just do better next time." Pinkie sighed. She put her head in her hoofs and exhaled forlorn.

"It'll be fine. I think the music we're having made for him will be the best part. It'll be a lasting gift he'll enjoy every year. What we need you to worry about is keeping him distracted. Though I don't think that'll be very hard." I laughed. I don't really laugh, smirking is done more often. YOU LAUGH, I'VE HEARD IT BEFORE. NOT THAT OFTEN. WHO WANTS TO HEAR YO LAUGH? IT'S ALL MANIACAL AND CREEPY. SHUT UP LITTLE D. Ahem, ignore that.

"Okay, but what daaayyyeee." Pinkie whined.

"An only too perfect day is coming up."

"Hmmm, what?"

I leaned in, "April Fool's day." I smirked widely as Pinkie realized 'It is too perfect.'

"Awesome."

"So, I'll keep the plans going. You keep Discord busy."

"Hmmm, you're planning something." Discord remarked. He and Pinkie were in his kitchen that day. The Cakes had politely kicked them out in order to save the kitchen from any accidental mishaps. All Discord with just a little mess by Pinkie. Unfortunately, Discord had a problem of setting something on fire almost every time he cooked something. I'VE GOTTEN BETTER. IT'S EVERY OTHER TIME NOW. Wonderful.

"Of course I'm planning something! I'm planning to make some really good brownies. Mmmm."

"No, it's something else. I can feel it. I make plans all the time. Either it be games to play or what moral to put at the end of a particularly grueling ordeal. You're planning something." he sung at the end.

"Well even it I was~ why would I tell yooouu~" Pinkie sung back. Discord pouted.

Pinkie went back to cooking while Discord occupied himself with a little knitting. It was one of the few 'quiet' and 'sensible' hobbies he had. All he would rather no one knew about. Well they know now, evil laugh. He also crochets, quilts, and sews together little animal toys. He's very good at putting mismatching patterns together. It doesn't hurt that he secretly has a daughter who runs a notions shop in town*. Well, she isn't really a daughter, but I might get to that another time.

"Pinkie, I'm bored." Discord came pouting over. He put his head on her shoulder and looked at the party supply catalog she was browsing. "Ugg, can't we go so something? We've got time."

"Hehe, fine. You want to cuddle?"

"No."

"Play with fireworks?"

"No."

"Go exploding?"

"Hmmm, no."

"He, how about we talk about you? You like that."

"I do. I've been talking with the city planners about the university I want to open. I could easily snap it up but they want to build it themselves. It's all about codes and permits, baaa. I could make it exactly to code."

"Yes, but there's money to be made with building something."

"Yeah, it's all about money. It would be nice though if I didn't have to wait so long. I mean, there's the getting the okay, the looking for a site, the actual building part. It's going to take forever!" Discord threw himself over Pinkie very dramatically.

"Well, look on the bright side. You've got plenty of time to plan out lesson plans, look for staff. Ooo, how's your current book going?"

"Fine, it's a little tricky coursing out so many different story lines and point of views." Discord complained before stopping to fill up on brownies.

This is a good time to stop and explain the 'university' thing Discord mentioned.

A while ago, Celestia had order/asked Discord to find a place in pony life. Or in other words, get a job. And, she thought the perfect way to do it was by temporarily make him/ask him to become a pony*. It was hilarious. He shrieked and panicked then whined about how old he looked. Then he went on about 'how horrible this was going to be' and 'what was he even supposed to do?'

The most surprising part was his cutie mark. Not only did he already have one but he had an idea what it meant. Discord had always be good at 'making things up'. Some call it lying, others a vivid imagination. He even wrote books. In fact, there had been a time in his long life, on another world, he worked as a Creative Writing Professor. It wasn't ordinary English and essays. It was for people who wanted to write stories, or lyrics, or poetry. It was right up his alley with it's mix of telling people what to do, provoking craziness, and having captive audience. Yes, he had a stage. It was an auditorium style lecture room with a raised stage and podium. How could he resist?

It is obvious now that he's building his own 'Ponyville's University for Creative Thought'. God, that needs to come sooner. He really needs the distraction.

"I'm also stuck on titles. Ahh, why are titles and names always the worse part!?" He said dramatically.

"You'll get it. Want some more?" Pinkie encouraged.

"I can't distract him forever! You've got to do something. You're his friend too!" Pinkie vented.

"I like to call it associates. And I have a business to run with a party to get together." I explained. Pinkie responded with annoyance.

"I have a business to run and planed parties before."

"Yes, but you live with him and spent most of your time together."

"Even the most 'in love' ponies need a break!! You distract him." Pinkie vented before walking out of my shop. Ugh, this won't be good.

I walked the long walk up to Discord's house. Pinkie's taking care of the planning and checking up on things. She is the expert on Discord. I think Fluttershy is with her.

Knock Knock

"Ye-s-oh, it's you." he said soo deflated. I wasn't expecting you. Well I came over, deal with it.

"Yes, yes, it's me. Let me in."

"Little pig, little pig let me in~" he joked.

"Haha, only I'll do worse than simply blow your house don't." I replied. I entered the crazy structure he called 'home'.

"So what are you doing here?" he asked. We sat down and he served me some tea.

"To visit."

It's an understatement to say we have an uneasy friendship. We've both been through a lot and never wished to call each other 'friend'. We were associated with each other because we each have something the other needs. It's a very good partnership. The thing that keeps us together is our mutual love of fun and being dorky. I 'break character' every once in a while.

We sat for a while until I noticed some fruit on the table.

"Hey, how about we test your baking skill? See how many things you burn this time."

"I won't burn anything. Pinkie's really helped me get better."

"Whatever. I go look for a filling."

We moved into the kitchen and started to get out the necessary items. But, while I was looking though the fridge, I found something I just couldn't resist.

We went on with the baking. Once the crust was done, I went on with my plan.

"Hey Discord, how do you like your plouts*? Thick and juicy or small and tone?"

For a moment, he was about to answer. Then he realized what I asked but I continued on.

"Honestly I don't mind small ones but I do like them juicy. But that's all opinion, what do you like?"

"Well, I don't know why you're asking that particular question but I guess I like whatever my girlfriend has to offer."

"Oh, come on Dizzy. Don't be coy. I know you like the big ones." I cut up the plouts and started to make the filling. I wondered how long I could make this last.

"I'm just going to ignore you. I know your up to something. And for clarity, I know for a fact Pinkie has the best plout around."

"Bauahahahaha!" I fell to the floor laughing. I knew he would run right into that eventually. Ugh, you just love to set up jokes. Sometimes I think you're worse than Pun Pony*.

"Wha-what are you laughing about?"

"Ha pl-ha!-plouts. Hahaha." I couldn't talk so I just held up the fruit. Recognition crossed his face before embarrassment set in. "Come on, we need to finish make...plout pie. Ahahaha, ~~Pinkie Pie's plout pie~~." Did I say that? Oh, should probably censor myself a little.

"That's not funny! Just shut up." Discord was blushing so badly now.

We managed to get through then rest of the pie making process with only a few burst of giggles from me. Pie making process! Or pie processing process! Pi-Go away. Bet you can't say it five times fast! Why would I want to? Meany butt. Go talk to Discord about your plout or something. Which one? Both. Dizzard! Let's go have an awkward conversation in the next room! Well, not awkward for us but for others listening in on us! They won't know what we're talking about but they'll guess it's naughty.

At the end of the day, we had a beautiful baked pie. Pinkie would be home soon so we celebrated by having a piece. Discord's fork full of pie made it all the way to his mouth before I said, "Plout hole." You've never seen food fly out so fast.

To be continued in Part Two!!!

Author's Note

*This refers to a really great story called The Turning of the Screwball - The Strange Case of Button Stitch. It has two equally great sequel. Though, in my story I have a slightly different explanation of Screwball/Button. I'll get into it at a later time so don't worry about it for now.
*This refers to John De Lancie's ponysona.
*Plouts are a hybrid fruit. It's a cross between an apricot and a plum.
*Pun Pony is a really funny tumblr character. Obliviously, she makes puns.

April's Birthday Fool Part Two

"Seriously? Plot Pie?" Pinkie raised an eyebrow.

"It's pronounced Plout."

"That's the same thing!'

"No, it's spelled different."

"That's called a homophone."

"No, it's called a forth wall and the readers appreciate good grammar and proper spelling. Now, I believe you owe me for watching your boyfriend for the day." Grey raised her own eyebrow.

"He's not an unruly dog like you and certain others would think."

"How about a back rub? Or rub my hooves? It's so stressful. Dealing with him, keeping everything secret. Please~?" She pouted. Pinkie bit her lip.

"Ugh, fine. Come here."

"Yay!"

"We should time skip."

"Past this? Why?"

"I don't think this would be too entertaining, also the readers just want to see Discord's party."

"And I think the forth wall is being strained. Oh well. Fine, just keep rubbing. Yay."

"You're so weird."

"Where are we going?" Discord whined.

"It's a surprise! I can't tell you what it is cause then it'll ruin the surprise."

"I don't care. It's hard walking blind. Besides, I'm sure any surprise that takes me all the way back to Canterlot is a bad one."

"You can't be sure of that silly. Besides, I planned the surprise so it should be good."

"I could only hope."

"Okay! Here we are!" Pinkie yelled. Discord pulled off the blind fold. He looked around excitedly. He was at the entrance of the hedge maze.

The return to the hedge maze was a marked event. As in, it was on the calendar. Discord could only wonder as he was lead into the maze with the expectations of a picnic.

The maze paths were turned to a gold brick road. The lining plants were an odd assortment of mixed plants.

The floor of the clearing was a purple checker board so known to him as his design. The tables and chairs were a mismatch of color and patterns. The tables were laid out with treats of every kind. Cupcakes, pies, bowls of candy. A bowl of colorful candy pieces but each a different candy.

The fruits were the strange hybrids like applepear, plouts, tayberry, plumcot, peacotum, and tangelo. There were even fruits that shouldn't exist like snosberries.

The main clearing lead to many other clearings. In one, everything is made of candy. In another, there are trampolines. Another had a fountain that pours a cream that starts off white and turns to all the other colors and tastes different. There were fondue sticks nearby for the fountain.

There was a petting zoo of strange animals. Some of them, he had made. Some of the strange animals were acting as servers.

The main clearing lead to many others with just as crazy decorations as the next. But, the most surprising part to him were the people. It seemed like every pony came out to the party. His party, for him. There was a main stage at the end of the main clearing. A band was all set up and ready to play.

"What is this Pinkie?"

"It's your birthday party! I know you had said you really really didn't want one but I thought that maybe I should throw you one anyway. One big, once in a lifetime humongous birthday party. And, my present to you is a collection of songs inspired by you! That way you can have it forever. Even after you out live us all."

Discord felt stunned. He felt too much to even cry. It was all for him. A party, songs. Every pony was there. And, they wanted him to remember them. 'Even after you out live us all'."

"It's great Pinkie. I can't wait to hear the first one."

"Presents after cake!" Grey declared. She was smiling, a rare feat at times, next to an empty table.

Pinkie lead him to the table.

"Yes! Cake!" She ran around the table to a rope hanging off to the side, "Let them eat cake!"

She yelled then pulled the rope. A giant cake from who knows where fell onto the table. It splattered and pieces went everywhere. The slopped over remains had whole rows of candles on it.

"I didn't want to overwhelm the cake with candles."

"I think that was a good idea."

The guests didn't need plates or utensils. They just lick off the cake that landed on them.

"Time for presents!" Pinkie called out.

Grey stepped right up to Discord who raised a brow.

"For you, I have..."

She pulled out a sheet and with a quick whip of it, there was a giant type writer you have to jump on.

"Come on, try it out!" She giggled. Discord brightened. He and her jumped on the keys to type out

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

"Ooo, I'm going to have so much fun with that!" Pinkie said.

The rest of the presents had been given. It was now time for fun.

They had fun in the Carnival of Chaos that had been set up. One of the ring toss games gave out Platypuses when you won. The house of mirrors turned your actual body in to weird shapes instead of just being reflected that way. It was all so exciting.

The main clearing had a mad tea party theme to it. Somepony commented on it and Discord decided it'll be great turning Celestia into the red queen. She wasn't so amused.

It was soon time for the concert. Everypony gathered on the dance floor. Surprisingly, it was Button who introduced the band.

"These songs are dedicated to one special guy, Discord!"

Discord smiled so wide he thought it would get stuck. A male earth pony came on stage and started to sing a song called, Discord, after you know who. Discord didn't know if he should be embarrassed or excited. Pinkie solved the problem by pulling out to dance.

The rest of the songs included, Wine Red, One Night In Bangkok, Nine in the afternoon, Anything but Ordinary, Don't Make me Laugh, You're beautiful baby, and Deer in Headlights.

"This was great night Pinkie. Thank you."

Discord and Pinkie were sitting on a cloud about the party.

"It was nothing." Pinkie reddened.

"I love you." He held her hand.

"I love you too."

And then they kissed.

Author's Note

Sorry if there are errors. I'm just happy to finally get it out.

In Chicago

And now the six merry murderesses of the Witherston County Jail in their rendition of 'The Cell Block Tango'.
Pinkie
Applejack
Rainbow Dash
Fluttershy
Rarity
Glida

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh, Cicero, Lipschitz!
Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh, Cicero, Lipschitz!
Pop! Six! Squish! Uh uh, Cicero, Lipschitz!

Chorus

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh Uh, Cicero, Lipschitz!

"You know how some ponies have those really annoying habits that get you down? Like the Cakes! They were a couple I worked for. One day I was working really hard, feelling really irritated. When they came in. They were arguing again. They were yelling so loud and at me too. About this or that. I got really annoyed and I said 'If you guys yell on more time.' and they did. So I took the shotgun under the counter and fired two warning shots. Into their heads."

Chorus

"I met Braeburn in Appleloosa about two years ago. He told me he was single and we hit it off right away. We dated a bit before moving in together. He'd go off to work then he'd come home. I'd fix him a drink of my special apple cider and we'd have dinner. A swell time. Then I found out. Single he told me! Single my ass. Not only was he married, oh nelly, he had six wives. One of those Mormons ya know. So later that night, when he came home as usual, I fixed him a drink. Ya know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic."

Chorus

"Now, see this. I'm standing in the workout room. I'm cutting up some rope for a new trick when my husband Soarin comes in. He's in a jealous rage. 'You've been screwin' Fire Streak.' he keeps saying. 'You've been screwin' Fire Streak.' Then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times."

Chorus

"What am I doing here? They say that my famous tenant held down my husband while I cut off his head. But it's not true, I'm innocent. I don't know why the guards say I did it. I tried to explain at the police station, but they didn't understand.﻿"

"But yeah, did you do it?"

"Uh uh, not guilty."

"My sister, Sweetie Bell and I had this double act. And my husband Blueblood traveled with us. The last number in our act had 20 acrobatic tricks in a row. One two three four five, splits, spread eagles Back flips, flip flops one right after the other. It was fabulous. Well, this one night before the show, we were down at the hotel in Cicero. The three us us having a few drinks. Having few laughs and we ran out of ice so I decided to go get some. I came back and when I went in. There was my sister and husband. Doing number seventeen, the spread eagle. It was such a stock to me. I completely blacked out. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead."

Chorus

"I loved Sabar Lipschitz more than I could ever know. He was a real tough guy, stoic, a bouncer. But he was always trying to find a better club. He'd go out on trips looking for a great place. And on the way, he found Amberlocks, Autumn Gem, Dandy Brush, and Esmeralda. I guess you can say we broke up because of indisputable differences. He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead."

Chorus

You yell one more time.
Single my ass.
Ten times.

Why me?
Number seventeen, the spread eagle.
Indisputable differences.

"I bet you would of done the same, Twilight." Applejack said.

Author's Note

A rewriting of The Cell Block Tango from Chicago in the mlp world.

They Call me...

Sometimes, the bakery can get slow. On other days, it's closed. On both occasion, the Cakes, Pinkie and sometimes discord, like to work on new flavors for cakes and pie and other pastries or desserts. I help. You break everything. No, I don't. Let me rephrase, you get around to breaking everything. Or, setting the kitchen on fire. I've been getting better. Not well enough.

Hey guys, whatca talking about? I was trying to tell a story about this one time Discord danced around the kitchen. Which time? I'm getting to it.

On one of the off days, Discord was working on how to put pop rocks into a pie without them popping. He had before made a Poison Joke cupcake. It had the cure in it. So, the effects lasted only 5-10 minutes. It was a perfect way to harmlessly prank friends or laugh at your own effects. It definitely is! A little bite of chaos. It's a big hit with everyone. Even, that stuffy spoil sport Celestia had a bite. Oh, I remember that! Hahaha, she turned pink.

It was funny. But, onwards. Discord was dancing around, humming a little tune to himself. He was trying hard to make the pie without any of his chaos powers. That would be cheating. And it changes the taste. Pinkie was lounging in the cafe part of the store. She was reading a book called Things unseen. It was about a boy who turns invisible.

I love that book. There's a few others I really like. Some I even read multiple times. Yeah, I'm that same way. But, let's talk more about books later. Ok? Totally. I like books. You like gawking at cake magazines like a horny teenager. Gah! I do not. You kinda do. Wha..never mind that. I love books. It should be obvious that I like a good tale. Twist endings are always a favorite of mine.

Yeah, sure. Now, Pinkie was reading a book when she became very interested in what song Discord has half humming, half singing. Is there a word for that? I don't think so. I'll make one up then. Sure.

Pinkie got up from her seat on the bench and walked over to the kitchen. You really can't call it a bench. It makes it sound like there's no padding on it. Aren't you suppose to be making up a new word?

When Pinkie came into the kitchen, she was met with the humorous sight of Discord dancing around with the bowl of pie filling and a whisk.

"Chuckle, what are you doing?" she asked.

"Have fun of course." he replied. Discord then went to mix the pie filling.

"What song were you sing? It sounds fun."

"Oh, just a little song I picked up when transversing the universe. Want to heard it?" he said.

"Of course!" Pinkie replied with glee.

With glee? Yes, with glee. That makes her sound like a dork. Oh, I'm soo sorry.

"Of course!" Pinkie ~~replied with glee~~ replied with excitement. Is that better? Meh.

Discord then went on to sing the Oogie Boogie song from Nightmare before Christmas.

That was so much fun! And it really fits him. It really does. That's why I remember it so well. I still don't quite get what Christmas is or who Santa's suppose to be. Christmas is a holiday to get presents, forcibly be with family, and do your good deeds of the year. Or so I think. I don't like holidays. They'd always changing or so random. When you live for so long, they just seem like excuses to do stuff. And Santa's like the spirit of generosity. If you're relatively good for the year, he'll come reward you with gifts. I think there's also something about believing. In what? Fairytales or something. Just keeping that childhood spirit alive.

That sounds nice. Much better than Hearthswarming Eve. What's wrong with Hearthwarming? I thought you loved it. I do. It's just that the origin and meaning are kinda...eh. If you really think about it, it's a holiday about how we either got to be nice to each other or be killed by windigos. Wow, I might start to like that holiday. Death is a real fun factor to it. I agree. Also, I love any holiday that involves free presents and lots of sweets.

I knew you would say that. So, Pinkie. You want to talk books or are you still busy coming up with your new word. I can put it off to later. Ooo, do you like books about sailors? With or without sexytime? Hehe, the normal without type. Sure.

Wasn't this chapter suppose to be about me? Oh, never mind. Pulls out a cake design magazine. Oooo, commence drooling. Gasp, they've got a fold out page!