Snarbolox
By stalwartheart14
This is my story of the Spiral knights boss The Snarbolox, my all time favorite one of the game. Have fun and look for references to the levels and the SK universe!
Dear Canterlot Academy,
Headmaster Inkwell, I am happy to report that I safely arrived at Ponyville and currently resting in my flat in a small building. In about a day or so, I will head out to the Everfree forest. It’s a deep area called the wildwoods. First of all, I need to inform you that the main reason I’m on this expedition is to find a rare artifact called the “Chapeau of the Rose”. It belonged to a skilled warrior during the medieval era. I believe that one of these were lost during the ruins battle located in the forest itself! In another thought, I wonder how the substitute is holding up the class; they are a finicky little group after all. Thank you again headmaster for allowing me this single expedition. Along with another artifact in the archives, I will have a lesson planned accordingly pertaining to the artifact.
-Paradox: Archeology Professor
Paradox just finished the letter before it got dark. He didn’t want to waste any of the candles he brought before the adventure even began. Paradox stood up and walked over to his bag by his bed. This Stallion was a grey unicorn with a jagged like hairstyle. The style was pure black along with maroon highlights. It was the same with his tail. He had square framed glasses and a blue colored watch to keep time. He wore a white buttoned up polo shirt with loose jeans. He needed the maneuverability in case any obstacles got in his way. Along with the polo, he had a dark green adventure jacket armed with flint and steel, a short dagger, and a small tranquilizer gun with a star on its barrel. It took a few seconds making his way to the bag next to his bed and small hoof steps echoed on the wooden floor of the flat. After fiddling with his large duffel bag, he noticed that it was getting dark quickly. He sighed and thought to himself,” I better get some rest, I have a big adventure planned ahead of me tomorrow…”
With that said he walked over to his bed, changed into more comfortable clothes on the bed and went to sleep. While he was changing, Paradox noticed his own cutie mark. It was a sun with a compass on it. It represented his childhood love of adventure. While he was in his bed, he thought about all the dangers of the journey, such as animals, plants, traps, terrain, etc. However, the journey’s pros outlasted its cons and he fell asleep thinking how surprised his students would be. Forgetting to brush his teeth, and do other toiletries.
: The next day:
He woke up as the birds were singing their merry songs. Paradox looked out his window and judged that it was about 9:00 am. He took a look at his flat while still in bed. The television on the table next to the fridge, a sink next to the door leading to the closet and washroom, along with a small table and chair, although the flat didn’t seem very comfortable, it did suit him well since he wasn’t staying in it for a while. The small table still had an ink bottle and quill next to a piece of parchment containing the text written last night. The table had a little compartment filled with two shelves under the desk. The first cabinet contained five extra pieces of parchment as well as a roll of string and envelopes. The second had 2 extra quills, one extra bottle of in and a couple of popular magazines. He got up from the bed, not bothering to fix it since room service will come in after he left. He took a quick shower and used the toilet. He went over to the sink next and brushed his mane and tail. He later decided to leave for the journey after he ate lunch. But his stomach was coaxing him to go out and feed it
He left to a nearby bakery/ café. It seemed to be a hot spot in town since there was already a long line starting from the entrance. The Bakery was title Sugar Cube Corner and was decorated like a witch’s house of old ponies tales he heard when he was young. It had a giant cupcake protruding from the top right corner of the joint. As the pony went it the stallion saw ponies enjoying their sweet treats at a couple of tables and the sound of talking fills the air. The walls were all colored pink and a blue, yellow, and white fleece carpet added flair of the oversaturated room. After a couple of seconds of waiting in line, a pink pony tended his order.
The Pink pony seemed to fit the room perfectly with a pink mane and coat. Her hair style referenced cotton candy and an unrealistic looking smile was spread from ear to ear. Her mark was 3 balloons the same color of the carpet. The colors were blue and yellow. She seemed to gasp at his sight and smile more and giggle. Paradox didn’t seem to notice as he said his order. “Hello, can I have a dragon gem cupcake and a strawberry and banana smoothie please?” The Pink pony said in reply,” Hello my name is Pinkie Pie and you must be new here, I love meeting new people and I really want to know your name!” Paradox seemed really confused about what she said about being new. She never really seemed to understand that he is ordering food as the ponies in the line grow more agitated. After about 10 minutes she stopped rambling about the town, the townsfolk, and the food. The ponies behind Paradox were getting ready to leave the joint but out of nowhere, his order magically poofed out of the sky on to a tray table. The pony in front of Pinkie Pie was fast asleep while the pink body took out a bull horn.
The horn went off with a loud blare as all the ponies in the vicinity duck for cover and holds their ears. Paradox woke up as drool fell off his face as he is awoken. In bewilderment he takes his order and leaves exact change, five bits. The 26 year old stallion groans and thinks to himself, “err the folks here are weird, however, I may see the princess around here.” The Stallion eats his food with delight,” The food here is satisfying though, compared to the populous, I prefer the food.” Paradox thinks to himself like a judge in cooking shows sometimes.
As he finishes his brisk meal, he heads over to the library hoping to find out more on the chapeau. After asking countless ponies where the library is, he finally ends his search at what seems to be a treehouse. The sign says otherwise reading,” Library”. The place looks cartoonish with a great oak tree as its base; some bright red windows break the nature as the branches wind upwards and lush green leaves indicate the tree is still alive however, equine life lives in it. The door is the ones with 3 openings, designed to open fully and separately with a candle on the front. The door opens to see a purple dragon with green spikes. Well, it’s a normal dragon but at least 5 times smaller. Paradox asks somewhat politely, “ err, hi, I’m looking for a book” The Dragon replies with a subtle grunt,” It’s still my bedtime and twilight is still in bed can you please come back later?” “Umm, sorry, I don’t know the times, I’m new here and I usually go to the Canterlot royal library near the palace.” The Stallion adds sheepishly while scratching his neck. “Ohh Ohh you say you are from Canterlot?” The dragon questions Paradox in an excited tone. “Yeah, I work at the university there as the Archeology Professor.” Paradox says this as if he has said this countless times. “ TWILIGHT? ARE YOU AWAKE!!? A PROFESSOR WANT TO BORROW A BOOK!” the dragon has a big voice compared to his size.
“UGH WHAT SPIKE!!!?” He learned two things from this, the small purple dragon was named Spike, and the librarian was a pony. While the pony was coming down, I’ asked the dragon I presumed as Spike,” so, spike, is this a normal day of Ponyville?” “umm, I guess so? I really don’t understand your question.” The dragon replies in a confused manner. “Umm is everyday sorta like this here?” Paradox shows a polite grin on his face though he is secretly annoyed of the dragon and how long the mare is taking to get down the stairs. “Well, I can’t say that every day is exactly like this but I’ll just say that it gets exciting at times.” The 10 year old dragon winks at him as he finishes of the sentence. The purple mare finally comes down with hoof steps loud enough to stop the conversation between the stallion and dragon.
Immediately, Paradox bows just like to the major ruler of Equestria. The new Alicorn is standing there, with crossed hooves, awkwardly, and finally breaking the silence,” err, excuse me, you really don’t need to bow to me, I’m still the librarian of this place so what book would you like to borrow?” “Sorry, seeing Alicorns often seems to make a habit of me bowing every time I see them.” The Stallion explains his actions calmly. “So I take it as you’ve seen Princess Celestia and Luna?” Asked the mare excitedly. “Well Princess Luna comes every now and then because she does run all the private school. Other than that, I’ve never seen either one of them outside campus or in public. “Paradox seems to lightly exploit a tone of excitement.” Thought, I hear some of the professors get invited to speak for conventions and private parties. Oh, and, do you know if you have any books on the everfree forest?” The grey pony asked as if it was a normal thing to do. “ Umm, I first of all recommend that you never go there, and I’ll get you the book. Just promise me that you’ll never attempt in going near it.” The Filly warns him and forces him to promise before giving him the book. “I’m so sorry to inform you but I have to, my students are really excited to see an artifact so I’m bringing it back.” The stallion frowns while he talks about the subject.” I’m heading out tomorrow right after I return the book to you.” The pony adds to the sentence.” Well, if it’s for that case, No! I don’t want to get another pony hurt and trapped in the everfree, because we have to get them back!”
The Stallion automatically leaves the library as she says, “NO!” The Sstallion thinks as he’s walking to the café he saw on the way there. Well, that’s one resource down, I bet the café nearby has wifi. I wonder why the ponies over at Canterlot or something never came up with a better writing system then a laptop, or phone or the tablet. After thinking for a few minutes, the pony made his way into the café. After searching in Equestripideia, he found out that the forest has been known to trap ponies by some mysterious ways. It also says that there has been howling coming from the ruins. Reading this Inkwell says to himself,” I guess the traps are usual but the timberwolves might be a problem.
Inkwell looks into the fear section of his mind…. When he was a young colt…..
Authors note: this story may or may not be continued, it depends on the reaction of the audience
