Chapters "So, what now?" Fred asked.
"We go over there to the town." I suggested.
"I think we should identify our species so the people reading our adventures aren't wondering and spam the comment section asking what kind of ponies we are." Luke said.
"What do you mean 'reading' are you going to right this into a story?" Jodi asked.
"Yes, of course I am, why wouldn't I? This would make a great story and would definitely pass my creative writing class!" Luke explained.
"So did you actually have to say that line about our readers understanding, couldn't you have just made it up?"
"I want my story to be non-fiction though."
"Ok then. You know what, I'll make one too."
"So, it looks like Jodi and Joe are both pegasi."
"Yes, and Luke, you're a unicorn." I said.
"Score!" he shouted as he poked his horn with his hoof.
"So what am I?" Fred asked.
"You're an Earth Pony." I answered.
"So, what do I get? Am I like super strong or can run fast or something?"
"Actually, you get nothing." I did my best not to laugh at his misfortune, but I'm pretty sure he heard me.
Fred's eye started twitching. "Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"So you guys get these cool powers like flight and whatever the horn does, and I get nothing?"
"Yeah pretty much."
"Another reason why I hate My Little Pony."
"Yo, what are you guys doing so far away from town?" some pony called down from the clouds.
I looked up and squinted, the sun was shining in my face and whoever it was was pretty far away.
"So you gonna tell me or what?" they asked.
I looked over to Jodi and she shrugged as well as a pony could. I looked at Luke and he did the same. I figured Fred was too angry to really do anything for a while.
"Well?" they called out after a few more seconds.
"Who are you?" I shouted up at the sky.
"I'm Rainbow Dash, now who are you and why are you here?" she asked as she flew down from the sky.
"Well, I'm Joe and these are my friends Jodi, Luke, and Fred, and we're kind of, lost." I explained.
"Pfft. You guys tourists or something?"
"Sure."
"So, you guys need directions or something?"
"Yeah, wheres the nearest town?"
"Well, Ponyville is over there somewhere." Rainbow Dash pointed with a hoof towards a nearly invisible village in the distance.
"Thanks Rainbow Dash."
"Anything else?"
"No, we're good, right guys?" Everyone nodded except Fred, who was crying into his hooves as far as I could tell. We headed toward the small village that Rainbow Dash pointed to.
"Bye Rainbow Dash." Jodi called out shortly after we walked away.
"Bye." Rainbow Dash called back.
When we got to the town, it was roughly 9 PM. Few ponies were still walking around the town, most of them were probably getting ready for bed.
"So, what are we going to do now?" Fred asked, apparently he got over not being as awesome as the rest of us.
"Well, I guess we find somewhere to sleep." Luke suggested.
"That's probably the smartest idea." Jodi said.
"But, where?" I asked.
"I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna make my own place to sleep." Luke's horn glowed and a door appeared. He went through, I looked in and it was somehow a small house for one that took the space of a door.
"Wow, that's pretty cool magic, when did you learn that?" I asked him.
"Honestly I have no clue." he said as he lied down on the bed in the magical room.
"Where will we go to sleep?" Jodi asked.
"Well, we are pegasi, so we could sleep on the clouds." I said.
"Sure, why not." Jodi and I flew up into the sky and went to sleep on two clouds that were floating above us.
"Where am I going to sleep?" Fred asked me right before I took off.
"I don't know, good luck dude." I responded.
"Yo Luke, can I sleep in there with you?" Fred asked.
"No man, that would just be awkward." Luke said.
"What, why would it be awkward?"
"Two guys, sleeping together."
"I'll use a different bed."
"I only have one."
"Oh."
"Well, good luck." Luke used his magic to move his door onto the side of a building, so it looked normal.
Fred looked around, most likely wondering where he was going to sleep. I laughed at him before resting my head down onto the cloud and falling asleep.
I woke up the next day. I looked down and saw the cloud. I panicked for a second before I remembered what had happened the other day. I looked over at Jodi who did the same thing. She looked at me and smiled sheepishly, and I giggled childishly.
"I guess we should go check on Luke and Fred huh?" she asked.
"Yeah, that would probably be the best idea. I wonder where Fred slept." I said.
We flew down into town, Luke and Fred were both wide awake.
"Morning guys, how did you sleep?" I asked them when Jodi and I landed.
"I slept like a baby. Best sleep I've got in years!" Luke said.
"What about you?" I asked Fred.
"I don't want to talk about it." he said.
"Aw come on man, it couldn't have been that bad."
"Fine, I got a room in a very good apartment."
"So, why is that so bad?" Jodi asked.
"Wait, how did you pay for it?" I asked.
Fred walked up to me and whispered how he got the room for free, and for the sake of decency, I don't think I'll put what he said.
"Wow, that must've been a REALLY nice apartment."
"It was, I got a bed so fluffy I nearly sunk into it, and I got free breakfast."
"Sounds more like a hotel."
"Yeah, it was pretty close to being a hotel. Oh, and I managed to get some food for you guys." Fred handed us all some donuts.
"Thanks man." I said between mouthfuls of doughy goodness.
"So, what are we going to do now?"
"I don't know, I guess maybe we get jobs and live our lives as if this were normal." Luke suggested.
"That's probably our best choice." Jodi said.
"There may be a problem with that." I said.
"Why?" Jodi asked.
"Well, this town doesn't appear to have any newspapers so there won't be any ads for job openings and it doesn't look like there are any help wanted signs anywhere."
"Well, that sucks."
"Oh no oh no oh no!" a white unicorn ran through our conversation.
"What's wrong?" I asked her when she stopped.
"My babysitter just canceled on me and I really need someone to watch my little sister." she said.
"We could help with that." What a happy coincidence!
"Really you could?"
"Yes, I have a little brother and I think I'm pretty good at taking care of him, how much are you willing to pay?"
"I don't know, 50 bits for the whole day sound good to you?" she asked, taking out a small coin purse.
I didn't know much about money in Equestria, so I had no clue if that was a bad deal or a good steal. "Sure."
"Ok, thank you Celestia." She gave me a pile of little gold pieces. "I live in the boutique down that road a few blocks, just walk in and say you're the babysitter. There's a list on the fridge of what to do." She said pointing down one street.
"Ok, thank you for the job."
"Thank you for being there when I needed you. I'll see you later tonight." She hugged me quickly then ran off somewhere.
I walked down the street she pointed at and stopped at the boutique, but I hadn't realized I'd done it until I had.
"Well, I know what I'm going to do today." I stepped in the door and looked around. It was a pretty nice store. Better even then most in the human world. I looked at the price of a shirt that was nearby. It was a small, most likely for a child. It was selling for 15 bits. I guessed it would cost about $15. So each bit is about one dollar. I got a good deal for babysitting.
"ATTACK!" some pony shouted.
"What?" I asked, scared. Next thing I knew, I was pinned to the ground by three fillies.
"Wow, he's weak." An orange pegasus said
"Yeah he is, he looks old enough to be a father, and us three took him down." A white unicorn strangely resembling the one I met earlier said.
For some reason, when she said 'father' I instantly thought of Jodi.
"Howdy mister. What's your name?" A light yellow land pony asked politely.
I pushed the ground and effortlessly pushed the fillies off my back and stood up. "I'm Joe. I'm here to babysit."
"Aww, I'll see you girls tomorrow then." The filly waved to the other fillies as they left miserably.
"Hey, who said you can't stay?" I asked.
"Well, my sister Rarity doesn't like when I'm with my friends when the babysitter is here."
"Well, I think they can stay. Just don't get to wild." I smiled at the little unicorn.
"You mean it?" she asked happily.
"Of course. I don't mind."
"SCOOTALOO, APPLEBLOOM!" she shouted, running for the door to get her friends. She returned a minute later.
"Thank you Joe, thank you so much!" the orange pegasus said.
"Ok, so which of you is which?" For some reason, I couldn't remember the three very well. Maybe it was a brain fart?
"I'm Sweetie Belle, this is Scootaloo, and that is Apple Bloom." The little unicorn introduced herself and her two friends.
"All right. You girls stay here while I go look at the rule list. Where's the kitchen?" I asked Sweetie Belle.
"Through that door." She said.
"Thanks." I walked to the room and looked at the rule list. I read it over a few times and memorized each rule, when I returned, the three fillies were talking quietly. "So, who wants to play a game?"
"ME ME ME!" They all said in unison.
"Ok, where do you keep the board games?"
"What's a 'board game'?" Scootaloo asked.
"Dear God this is going be harder than I thought."
"What's a 'God'?" Apple Bloom asked.
***
"So, what are we going to do?" Jodi asked Luke.
"I'm not sure, maybe we go asking around for jobs?" Luke said.
"Yes, because three teenage kids who have never been seen before walking around a town asking random people if they need anything done won't scare anyone away." Fred said.
"Well, it worked back at home when I moved in to get my community service hours." Jodi said.
"Why would we get any other results here?" Luke asked.
"Probably because these aren't people, these are PONIES!" Fred shouted.
"So, we're ponies too."
"I don't think anybody is realizing the reality of the situation that we're in. We may never see our world again!"
"Yes, so that means we should get used to living in this world as soon as possible."
"Ugg, fine. Go off and do whatever you want. I'll try to figure out how to go back!"
"What's this about another world?" a purple alicorn appeared behind the trio.
"Nothing, just normal teen talk. All fake, none of it true." Fred said.
"Dude, don't lie to her, if anything, she's the only one who can help us get back!" Luke said.
"No way, are you a brony too?"
"Yes."
"Brony? Oh, are you from the human world?" she asked quietly.
"Yes, how did you know?" Fred asked in a whisper.
"I see many people come by from your world, of course usually it is my fault they appeared here, but I have helped them back. I've only lost one of them."
"Please tell me you've had more than one come by you."
"Oh yes, at least 100."
"Oh thank you God."
"My name is Twilight Sparkle." she said with a smile.
"So, umm, Twilight, can I come with you and maybe help you make a portal to send us back or somthing?" Fred asked.
"No, I need a unicorn, like him." Twilight pointed at Luke, who was unsuccessfully trying to pick his nose with his tongue.
"Well, guess we'll be stuck here forever." Fred facehoofed.
"So, what do I have to do?" Luke asked, holding a book upside down as Twilight explained. He stopped paying attention at random intervals, causing what he heard to be a random collection of words.
"Magic, horn, book, spell, read, dragon, ok?" is all he heard.
"WOAH, a dragon?"
"Yes, I just told you about him, twelve times."
"Sorry, I zoned out."
Twilight sighed. "OK, I'll explain from the start."
He didn't pay attention to any word she said for several minutes, he was more intent on figuring out this foreign language in the book he was reading. He didn't understand why the ponies were walking on the sky in the pictures.
"If you do anything wrong, it may explode and kill us." Twilight said. It was the only thing Luke heard.
"Oh, umm, can you do it first then? You know, show me what to do?"
"You weren't paying attention again were you?"
"Was it really that obvious?"
"Considering I said why I can't show you twice, quite obvious."
"I suppose you're going to explain it all over again huh?"
"Yup."
Luke sighed and gave up on the book. "Might as well listen this time." he said quietly.
***
"So, what are we going to do?" Jodi asked Fred.
"I don't know, maybe we, go to a fancy restaurant, eat some food, maybe kiss." Fred said.
"How about no."
"It was worth a shot."
"No it wasn't."
"You say what you want, but I still am making slow progress."
"Sure you are."
"You know it's true, don't deny it."
"Um, excuse me?" a quiet voice said a few feet away from the two.
"What?" Jodi asked politely.
"Um, my animals, escaped, and I was wondering, if you would, help, me, if that's ok with you." a pegasus said nervously.
"Sure, what kind of animals."
"A few birds, and bunnies. One rabbit and two turtles. Several bugs. Oh, and a giant bear."
"I'll get the birds and everything else if you get the bear." Jodi said to Luke.
"Aww, why do I get the bear?" Luke complained.
"Because, you're a tough guy, and you want to impress me with your strength and take down a big strong bear, maybe it will be enough to make me be impressed and go out with you." Jodi flicked her tail in his face.
"Ugg fine, where did they go miss. Miss, misses?" Luke continued to guess the ponies name.
"Fluttershy." she said quietly. "And the bear went that way, the other animals kind of stayed in a group and went over there."
Jodi flew off after the birds and other cute cuddly animals. Luke ran off to the bear. Fluttershy didn't know what else to do, so she followed Jodi.
"See girls, this is why I took you for a walk, so we could see my friends fail at life, and Jodi, be, herself." I said to the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
"Is Jodi your marefriend? OOOOOH!" Scootaloo said childishly. Of course, she did have a reason.
"No, I wish."
"Joe and Jodi sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Sweetie Belle said.
"This is why I don't have kids. That, and the fact I'm too young." I said.
"Is Luke really that stupid or was he just acting?" Apple Bloom asked.
"Sadly, he is that dumb."
"What about Fred, is he really that stupid, OH, can we watch him wrestle the bear?" Scootaloo asked.
"Sure, we blew off the rest of Rarity's rules, so why not break the last one?" I looked at the list of rules and read the last one out loud. "No letting Sweetie Belle watch one of your friends risk there lives wrestling a runaway bear that Fluttershy owns, especially if the rest of the CMC are there. Pretty specific rule."
"Well, the last rule on the list is always a joke rule. She just does it so we can have a quick laugh if we get bored." Sweetie Belle said.
"Well, I guess it worked." I laughed lightly as we followed Fred.
***
"Here Beary Beary Beary." Fred said.
The CMC giggled.
"Shh, don't let him know that we're following him." I said as quiet as I could.
"Come here you stupid bear. AHA!" He stuck his face to the ground and started following the bear tracks he found.
"Hey girls, watch this." I took a pudding cup from the bag I was carrying in case anybody got hungry. I opened the cup and took a glob of pudding in my hoof. I flung it onto the path far ahead of Fred, who still had his head down.
"Where are you? Just come out already. OH DEAR GOD!" He shouted. "Get it off get it off get it off!" he screamed, trying to wipe the pudding off his snout.
The CMC and I had trouble controlling our laughter, if he hadn't screamed so loud and girlish, he probably would've heard us.
"EW EW EW EW EW EW EW! BEAR POOP!" He ran around in circles. He stopped suddenly and poked at it. "Pudding?"
I instantly stopped laughing and covered two of the fillies' mouths. The last got the memo and stopped. I ducked down to hide. They were short enough so they didn't have to duck though.
"Who did that?" Fred asked.
"That was close." I whispered, the CMC agreed silently. I poked my head up and watched Fred.
Fred looked around. He decided to head back. He turned around and took a step to town. He got a face full of fur.
"Ok girls, it's wrestling time." I said as I parted the bushes so they could see.
"Hi there, Mr. Bear." Fred gulped.
The bear roared loudly.
"Dear God, I'm sorry for everything I have done in my life. I was only mean to my friends to get them ready for the real world, which would be worse then me, and that guy I killed. I was just really mad. I swear if I make it through here, I'll do lots of good things and never anything bad ever again." Fred said quickly as if they were his last words.
The bear rolled onto his stomach and panted like a dog, as if it wanted a belly rub.
"Well that was anticlimactic." Scootaloo said.
"Every time I promise to do something good." Fred said under his breath. He waited a few seconds then reluctantly scratched the bear's stomach. "So, I guess I have to take you back to, wherever, you're from."
I walked out of the bush with the CMC in tow. "Fluttershy's cottage is that way." I said pointing down the lightly trodden trail.
"Where did you come from?"
"The stork, but my health teacher has a different theory."
"Dude we already passed that class, you know he's right."
"Yeah, but I got these little kids. I don't want to scar them for life." I said gesturing to the CMC.
"I see. So, you going to help me drag this heavy beast over to her cottage?" Fred glanced at the bear which was now asleep.
"No, sorry, I can't do it. I have to take care of these three."
"Why do I always get the hard job?" he asked as he grabbed the bear and tried to move it.
"So girls, should we go see what Jodi is doing?" I asked the CMC.
"YEAH!" They said simultaneously.
"I hate you." Fred said.
I laughed at him as I left him with the slumbering giant.
***
"Ok Fluttershy, I got four birds, one rabbit, two turtles, and ten bugs. Am I missing any animals?" Jodi asked.
"My hamster." Fluttershy said, pointing at a small rodent hiding in a hole in a tree.
Jodi reached for it, but it retreated back into the tree, too far for her to reach. "He doesn't like me."
"I'll help!" Scootaloo darted to the tree and stuck a hoof in the hole. She was small enough that she could go in the hole when the hamster backed up. "Here you go." she said, handing it to Fluttershy.
"Thank you Scootaloo." Fluttershy said with a smile.
"You're welcome." Scootaloo said back.
"Yeah, thanks, Scootaloo." Jodi said hesitantly, as if she wasn't sure about the orange filly's name.
Fluttershy watched as Scootaloo ran back to me and her friends, then she made a high pitched, barely audible, 'eep'. She ran away and hid behind the tree the hamster was in. The hamster hugged her hoof.
"Hey Jodi." I said.
"Joe, were you watching me as I struggled to get these things?"
"No, I just arrived."
"Well, can you help me?" she struggled to hold all the animals with her.
"Sure." I took some of the animals and several bugs in one hoof. "So, we going to take these to your cottage Fluttershy?" I asked the cowering figure as I gave each CMC an animal.
"H-how do you k-know my name?" she asked.
"Jodi just told me." I lied quickly. I knew she would be freaked out if I said something like I'm from an alternate universe where people watch you for hours on end walk around naked.
"Oh, what's your name?" she asked, leaving her cover of the tree.
"I'm Joe." I said.
Fluttershy walked up to me and shook my hoof. She looked up into my eyes and smiled. My shadow covered her face so I couldn't see well, but I'm pretty sure her smile wasn't the average 'Hey I just met you and this isn't crazy but there's no affection between us whatsoever, just friends' look.
"So, umm, I'm just going to take these animals to your house now." I said when she didn't let go of my hoof or break eye contact for several seconds.
"Ok." she said. She backed up and looked at the hamster that was now resting on her back. Jodi, Fluttershy, the CMC, and I started walking to Fluttershy's house. The CMC talked the whole way there, I had to laugh at their guesses of how the stork brings the baby if the baby is in the mother's stomach.
"Ok Fluttershy, all your animals are here and safe again." Jodi said after we dropped the animals off at the small house.
"Yeah, thanks guys for helping with the bear." Fred said, exhausted. The bear walked up to him. "Oh sure, NOW you're awake."
I laughed at his misfortune then looked at the sun, it was starting to set. "I should probably take the girls back now." I said.
"All right, and I'll save you a cloud next to mine." Jodi said, then she flew off.
"And I suppose I'd better start digging a hole in the dirt." Fred said.
"Why would you do that?" Fluttershy asked him.
"I am not staying at that motel again."
"Why not?"
"I didn't have any money, and the guy-"
I interrupted him. "You don't want to know how he payed."
"Ok, well, you could stay here tonight." Fluttershy suggested.
"Lucky." I whispered in Fred's ear. Then I left to return the CMC to their houses.
As I lifted my head off my cloud, I stared into the sun. My eyes stung from the brightness the ball of fire gave off.
"Hey, hey Jodi wake up." I said, poking Jodi's sleeping body.
"Five more minutes mom." she mumbled.
"JODI!"
"What?" She lifted her head and yawned.
"Should we go check on Luke and Fred?"
"Oh, sure, just let me put on my make-up." She pushed herself up onto her back legs.
"Uh, Jodi."
She took a step and plummeted to the ground.
"JODI?!?!"
"Ha, tricked you." she said, flying up from her death fall.
"Don't do that jerk." I shoved her lightly then joined her flight.
"So, I go check on Fred and you check Luke?" she asked.
"Sure, but if the free hotel thing repeats with Fluttershy, beat him up for me, twice."
"All right, wait, what hotel thing?"
I whispered it in her ear.
"Oh yeah, don't worry, he'll be in the hospital and no pony will be able to tell the difference between his face and his butt."
"Are you thinking about his butt?"
"Maybe." She tried to stop a smile, then ran to Fluttershy's cottage when she failed.
"Hah, oh Jodi, you're so silly." I started making my way to Twilight's tree.
***
"Luke, hey Luke, you here buddy?" I asked, opening the door slowly.
"Yes, I'm here, and I am fully awake, why would you make such an inquiry?" he asked.
"Umm, what?"
"I'm sorry, I forgot you are simple minded, I shall use small words. Yes, I'm here and awake, why do you ask?"
My jaw dropped at how smart he was acting. "Uhh, I just came to check on you. Are you all right?"
"Yes yes, quite so, I spent all last night going through Twilight's ancient tomes. Many of them are worthless writing, others are very stimulating stories."
"I'll just come back later, after you aren't so, smart."
"Wait, Joe, I have fixed our dilemma."
I stared at him dumbly.
"I have created a portal back to Earth."
I ran up and hugged him. "Thank you so much man, I love you, but, not like that."
"So, shall we gather our friends and go back? I suggest you make haste, as the portal is unstable and could collapse at any second."
"Yes, let's do that." I opened the door and gestured for him to go first.
"So, where are they?"
"Follow me." I sprinted to Fluttershy's house. Luke followed, barely keeping up.
***
"JODI, FRED!" I shouted, bursting through the door.
"They went around back." Fluttershy said.
"Oh, thanks." I ran to the back of the house while Luke and Fluttershy talked.
"JODI, FRED!" I shouted at the two, who were feeding the bear.
"What, Joe?" Fred panicked and the bear bit his hoof. "OWW HOLY SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS" He kicked the bear's shin and he released. "What is it?" he asked angrily.
"Luke, portal, smart, books, magic." I couldn't say everything I wanted to at once.
"Ahem, I have read several ancient tomes and gained many intelligence points, then I used my magic and created our salvation, the way home." Luke explained.
"Ok, I didn't understand half of that, but take us there now." Fred demanded.
"Follow me."
"No, follow me!" I said then I sprinted back to the tree.
***
"Jodi and gentlemen, I present to you, the portal home!" Luke said.
"Thank you God." Fred walked through the portal, it quivered when he went through. "It feels good to be able to walk on two legs again."
"Hurry, the portal will close any second." Luke said as he walked through, I followed him.
"Come on Jodi, you have to come now, this may be our only chance." I said.
"Well, the truth is, I kinda like it here." She said, then she backed up, too far for me to grab her and pull her through.
I went back into Equestria. "Come on Jodi, please go through with me, I'll do anything for you. Please."
"No, I want to stay here."
I talked to Jodi some more, trying to convince her to go through with me, when the portal vanished.
"Well, I guess we're stuck here, happy?" I asked her, then stomped off.
"I'm sorry Joe." she said more, but in a whisper so I didn't hear it.
I walked up to Jodi and gave her a hug.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you. I just, got really happy we could return."
"No Joe, I'm sorry for staying back, if I had just gone through then you and I would both be human again and we'd both be happy." Jodi apologized.
"Well, we can probably go find Twilight and she can recreate the portal."
"Last I checked she was watching you guys go through the portal from her bed up there." Jodi pointed to a nook just above where the portal was. I flew up and checked it.
"She isn't there.
"She must have gone through the portal too then."
"Oh well, we can go ask Rarity for some help, she's a unicorn too after all."
"Wait, what's this?" Jodi bent down and picked something up from the floor.
"Hair?"
"Pink hair."
"Fluttershy must have gone too. Shoot, I was going to ask her if Rarity was still in town. She did tell me she had to go somewhere today when I returned Sweetie Belle home."
"So, we're stuck in Equestria, with our only two sources of magic and possibly only ways to return home gone?"
"No, there are two other ponies I know where they live."
"Great, and I suppose they're on vacation to some stupid town named after some other bad pony joke like Hoofington or something." Jodi laughed.
"Actually, yes."
"Really?"
"According to this letter that was on the ground which was directed to Twilight, they are at Hoofington."
"Dude, don't read other people's mail! That's pervy!"
"Oh relax, she won't be able to read her mail for a while, and I know where Hoofington is. Being 'pervy' actually helps us get back."
"Fine, whatever. Let's just get going."
***
"Are we there yet?" Jodi asked.
"We haven't even left the library yet." I replied.
"Oh, well I thought it was some sort of magical teleporting tree or something."
"Don't be ridiculous Jodi, those don't exist."
"Well, I'm sorry, but everything else that's happened kind of made me feel like anything is possible, no matter how crazy. So, when are we going to leave then?"
"Well, it's about a one day journey by wing, so we need to get some stuff ready for travel before we go, so we should probably...." Jodi cut me off.
"Or we could just ride the train there?" She pointed out a window with her hoof at the train station. I could just hear the announcer say the ride to Hoofington was leaving in 10 minutes.
"Or we could do that." I threw everything I was holding behind me and dropped everything off my back, and we went to the train station.
***
Fred and Luke got up and stretched.
"Man, all that walking like a quadruped really makes walking like a bipedal organism quite difficult." Luke the now super-genius said.
"Yeah, sure, I don't know what you said, but uh, I'm happy to be back and sheesh, walking on four legs for so long makes walking on two legs hard." Fred said.
"That's what I, nevermind."
"If Jodi and Joe never return, I call dibs on Joe's xbox."
"Fine, I call dibs on Jodi's clothes."
"Ok dude thats just weird. I know you're going through your, ahem, 'girl crazy' phase, but that's just too far."
"Where am I?" A new voice asked.
"Did you hear that too?" Luke asked.
"Ahuh." Fred stared forward, scared of what was behind him.
"Was that you?"
"Uhuh."
"Do you think the portal may have altered Jodi's voice and she passed through last second?"
"Doubt it."
Luke and Fred turned around.
"Uhh, hi." Twilight said.
Luke shielded his eyes and Fred stared.
"Dude, have some respect!" Luke slapped Fred's shoulder.
"Oh umm, sorry, T-Twilight."
"What?" She asked.
"Well, on Earth, it's customary to wear clothes, and going through the portal kind of, left you naked."
Twilight looked down as though it just occurred to her.
"Oh. Well, do you have any clothes I could borrow? Or keep until I go back?" Twilight asked, using her arms to protect herself from Fred's still-staring-eyes.
"Well, no, but, here." Luke turned around, grabbed a towel, and gave it to Twilight.
"Thanks." Twilight wrapped it around herself. She looked at Fred then slapped him.
"Hey, you finally got touched by a girl." Luke laughed at Fred. Twilight giggled at his quip.
"Uhh, what happened?" Another girl stood up, she was laying on the ground behind Twilight.
"Ok, that's not even fair." Twilight said, looking at Fluttershy's long and flowing dress.
"What? What's not fair?" Fluttershy asked. She looked at the rag around Twilight's body then at herself. "Oh. I-if you want, I can let you borrow my dress." Fluttershy began to undress. Fred stared at her and blushed.
"No Fluttershy, that's all right."
"You girls stay here, I'm going to sneak you some clothes and get Joe's parents out of the house so you can get out. Come on Fred." Luke grabbed Fred's hand and pulled him to the stair case. It took some effort, but he eventually got him upstairs.
"So. Uhh, how's it going?" I asked, a little uncomfortable with the position I was in. Jodi and I were sitting across from each other at a table in our own private car.
"I told you five times already, I'm fine." Jodi laughed.
"Yeah, well, I'm not good at talking to girls." I admitted.
"I can tell."
"So, how's it going?"
"Ok, I'm done with this." Jodi got up and walked over to her bed just as a mare walked in with a plate of food. She set it on the table.
"Thanks." I said with a smile. She nodded and left the car. "There's food if you want it." I said as I took a good looking tomato from the salad and put it on my plate.
"I swear they always wait until you do something." Jodi put something in the backpack she took with her and walked back. She took another plate and put some salad on it.
"What were you doing over there anyways?" I asked between mouthfuls of tomato.
"Nothing you need to worry about." She said with a smirk, then took a bite of lettuce.
"All right, whatever." We finished our dinner in silence. There was a lot of salad too. We could barely eat it all, and it was getting late by the time we finished.
"Well, I'm going to turn in." I said, putting the dirty plate on the edge of the table.
"Me too." Jodi pushed her plate to the center of the table. She stretched back a bit and burped. We looked at each other for a second then broke out laughing. We got out of the seats by the table and went to our beds. I felt confident that nobody would watch me while I slept, but I shut the curtain anyways.
"Good night Jodi." I said before setting my head down.
"Good night." I heard her say with a yawn.
I fell asleep fairly quick, Jodi must have too, I didn't hear her make any noise.
***
When I woke up, I yawned. I tried to stretch right away, forgetting that I was in a cramped box. I opened the curtain, the only thing between me and the train car, and I sprawled out on the floor. I lied there for a minute or two as my muscles got used to being fully stretched out. I eventually decided to stand up. When I got up completely, I felt a warmth against my lips, and all I could see was Jodi's face. It took me a couple seconds to realize what happened, then I backed away. I braced myself from the torrent of shouts and screams that was bound to follow, but they never came. I looked at Jodi, and she shied away from me and was blushing.
"Jodi?" I asked. "Is, everything alright?"
"He kissed me." she said just loud enough for me to hear.
"Uhh, Jodi?" I asked, slowly walking up to her.
"He kissed me." she said again.
"Jodi?" I poked her shoulder.
Jodi turned around and put her hooves behind me, she pulled me in and forced another kiss. She let me go after a few seconds. I backed up immediately. I could feel the warmth of a blush reach my cheeks.
"Joe, do you like me?" she asked.
"Me? I, you, ehh." I was having trouble deciding to answer truthfully or not. "Yes." I said eventually. "Uhh, do you like me?"
"Yes." She said without hesitation.
We looked at each other for a few seconds before we leaned in for another kiss. The conductor walked between us before our lips touched.
"We have arrived in Hoofington!" He shouted. He paused and looked at me. "You got a pretty mare there." he said. "You're one lucky stallion." he winked at me then said something quick to Jodi and left.
"Well, I guess we should get our stuff then." I said when the conductor left to annoy the rest of the train's inhabitants.
Jodi went over to the little box the train company passes off as a bed, and she got a bag of stuff she filled with stuff from Twilight's library that she thought may be helpful. She threw it over her back and went over to the door and she waited for me before she'd open the door. "You coming?" she asked me.
"Uhh, yeah." I said, taking my eyes off of her flank. I went up to her and we stood side by side. She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before she opened the door and stepped into Hoofington.
When Jodi and I stepped out of the train and onto the platform, there were tons of other ponies jostling around the station. Most of them were talking, and it was so loud I literally couldn't hear myself think. Shortly after we got out, several other ponies took our car. I looked around, each car was getting filled with about 10 ponies, where would they all sleep? There were only four so called 'beds' in each car. Oh well, wasn't my problem right? I looked at Jodi who barely had enough room to stand in the sea of unknown ponies. I reached to her and poked her should to get her attention. When she looked at me, I flared my wings and glanced up. She nodded and darted into the sky. I followed close behind.
"So, where are we supposed to go?" she asked when Jodi and I were both far above the train station.
"Well, I don't know." I said. "How about we try over there first?" I nodded toward a building with several balloons by the door, and a sign that said something about the princesses coming.
"Why? All that seems like is a little mare's birthday party with two underpaid actresses that are going to dance or sing or something stupid."
"Nah, I can just feel royal power emanating from that building."
"All right, whatever."
"Royal power eh?" Jodi asked me as we left the building. "Bunch of crap is all I saw."
"Well, that was disappointing." I said. I stared up at the sky. Jodi said some more, but I tuned her out. "Sun, tell me where Celestia is. Please." I whispered. I watched the sun. It wasn't making it's usual progress across the sky, it was just sitting there, staring back at me. "Jodi, something is wrong. Terribly wrong."
"Why is that?" she said, stopping whatever she was talking about before.
"The sun, it's not moving, and what's more, it's not blinding me."
"So? We're in a cartoon, you think they'd actually draw it move and blind people?"
"No, nothing like that. Celestia controls the sun. As long as her magic is functioning, the sun will blind those who stare at it and it will constantly rise or set."
"Oh God, where is this going?" Jodi asked me.
"Something is terribly wrong." I said beginning to run back to the train station. "We have to go to Canterlot, now."
"Joe, wait for me!" she shouted, sprinting to catch up to me.
"You better hurry up then, I'm not slowing down, we have to do something fast!" The train station quickly came into view. I spread my wings and rocketed to my destination.
"Where to sir?" The stallion at the counter asked me quickly, noticing that I was in a hurry.
"Two tickets, to, Canterlot." I said between gasps.
"All right, here you go." He slipped two tickets through the hole in the glass.
"Jodi, pay the man." I commanded then dashed to the train to get a car for just us two.
"Ugg, sorry hes in a hurry." Jodi apologized then put a bunch of bits through the hole and bolted after me.
"So then." I said. "I got us a nice car this time huh?" I asked from the deluxe bed that was definitely large enough for both of us.
"What was that?" She yelled. "I demand an explanation now!"
"Ok, well in Equestria, the entire country is governed by two princesses. One who controls the day, the other, the night."
"So, what does this have to do with anything?"
"They both have magic like Twilight, though way more powerful. Without them, day night cycles would not exist, as long as Celestia's magic works, the sun cycles, as long as Luna's magic works, the moon cycles. The sun isn't moving, which means it isn't in cycle, which also means that Celestia's magic isn't working. This is a severe abnormality. Magic in this world is free flowing, and it never stops flowing. The only times an alicorn or unicorn can't use their magic is if their too tired to tap into their mana reserves. The princesses, being immortal, require no energy to do anything, so this isn't as simple as Celestia is tired, she was sabotaged and possibly mare napped. We may be the only ponies who know. We're going to Canterlot for answers."
"Why Canterlot?"
"Canterlot is where the castle is, and where the princesses live. We have to inform the royal guard immediately."
"Wait, why would princesses rule the kingdom? Where's the King and the Queen?"
"I don't know, nobody has ever come up with a logical explanation. Probably because this show was made for little girls, and princesses seemed more appealing? Don't ask me."
"All right then. Now can we talk about something normal?" Jodi asked me.
"Uhh sure. So, do you want to talk like we're just friends or do you want to hear my failed attempts at flirting first?"
Jodi giggled.
Author's Note
This is the result of having no plans for where the chapter goes and writing at midnight.
I was sitting on the bed of the train car with the curtain pulled back. "Some pony had to have noticed it besides me by now." I stated, staring at the glowing orange-yellow ball in the sky.
"Yeah, well, I hope you're wrong about the princess being pony napped and all, its just, who would want to do that?" Jodi asked.
"Plenty of ponies would. There's King Sombra, Queen Chrys..." I began.
"Wait, this world, is ruled by princesses, yet there are kings and queens?"
I thought for a moment. "Yeah."
"That makes no sense." Jodi said before taking another bite from her salad.
"I just want to know, why would they? At this time, they would achieve nothing from stealing Celestia. Her student became a princess, she already appointed Cadence, and Luna is also ruler of Canterlot, so its not like whoever did it is getting supreme power of the world, only of the sun."
"Yeah, but isn't the sun like, so hot that we would melt without the atmosphere?" Jodi wondered.
"Yes, that is true, but if they do it, then they will melt too."
"But, isn't Celestia able to grant immunity from the sun?"
"GAH! This is too confusing!" I threw the curtain shut as vigorously as I could. "You have many very good points and you don't even understand the situation! But, you gotta think, who in the world would want to be alive with just them and Celestia?" I walked over to Jodi as I talked.
"I have no idea Joe! I don't know who anyone is besides Fluttershy, Twilight, and Rarity, and I don't even know what Rarity looks like!"
"Wait. I, I think I may know."
"Really? What made you think of them anyways?"
"No, it's no one pony, it's a whole army." I turned back to the bed, opened the curtain, and stared out the window. "Of course, it makes total sense!"
"What Joe, who?"
"Queen Chrysalis!"
"What and why?"
"A year or two ago, she attacked the Crystal Empire with her army of changelings. With Celestia under her complete control, she could force the princess to make her and her army invincible to the sun's rays. With her army being able to change it's shape at will, they could become pegasi and use their combined powers to delete the ozone layer, causing Equestria to heat up and for all the inhabitants to melt under the intense heat, thus destroying every pony but the queen, princess, and changelings. Then she can laugh at Celestia as revenge for ending her reign of terror! That has to be it!" I shouted. I went to the middle of the car and did a victory jump.
"Why would she go through all the trouble? Can't a changeling or whatever just like, turn into Celestia?"
"No, transforming into an alicorn takes too much energy and would kill a changeling, only Chrysalis can do it and still live, but then she couldn't grant herself immunity from the sun because she's Celestia at the time of casting, so technically Chrysalis doesn't exist. Duh."
"Oh, well, sorry for trying to poke holes in your cartoon logic with real world logic." Jodi mumbled sarcastically.
"Thank you." I said jokingly.
***
After a few more minutes of talking about random stuff, the train conductor poked his head in the room. "We have arrived at Canterlot now. Hey, you look familiar." he said. He walked into the car and walked up to the two pegasi. "Oh, good for you, still got that pretty mare!" he then left the car.
"What was that about?" Jodi asked.
"I don't know." I said. "Now grab your bag of pilfered goods from Twilight's library and lets get going. We need to tell the royal guard whats happened and that Chrysalis did it."
"Ok ok geez, don't get your panties in a knot."
***
"Yes sir, we do know that the princess is missing, we learned before the sun ran out of energy to move, and countless citizens have told us the sun has stopped, luckily they haven't made the connection yet." The guard at the door said.
"Yes, but I think I know who did it!" I said quickly
"Who then?"
"Chrysalis!"
"What makes you think that?"
"Ugg." I explained it to the guard just like I did to Jodi.
"Hmm, yes, that does seem about right. Discord is still in his stone prison, Sombra doesn't have a problem with Celestia, and no other ponies have a reason to pony nap Celestia." The guard said.
"Yes, and I know where she is."
"What? How?"
"Chrysalis, she's a changeling, and they leave a trail of mucus, its a very fine and hard to see trail, but I can see it."
"No way, I knew they left a trail, but I never suspected that it was large enough for any pony to see. How can you see it?"
"I had surgery when I was a little boy er colt after I stared at the sun too long. I was blind, so the surgery ended up enhancing my eyesight in the end. Honestly, its hard NOT to see the trail."
"Flash, Shining, get over here now!" The guard shouted in the castle. Two guards came out immediately.
"What?" the orange pegasus asked.
"This better be good, I had a lead." the white unicorn said.
"This stallion may have our answer." the guard said.
"Seriously?" Flash asked.
"Yes, and I'm commanding you two to follow him to wherever he leads you."
"Woah, not so fast, I don't take orders from you." Shining Armor said, staring the guard in the eye.
"Unlike you, I actually do my job, I got several promotions, and you got none since Cadence became Princess, so I outrank you now."
"Ugg. Fine, I'll follow him."
"I'm going to need access to the castle though first." I said.
"You can go anywhere Shining and Flash can as long as their with you." The guard replied.
"Oh, cool." I looked down at the ground where the green trail was. "It starts off going this way." I said, following it into the castle.
***
"Are we quite done yet?" Shining asked after a few minutes of following me around the castle.
"Yes, the trail is becoming newer, I can tell Chrysalis has passed by here not long ago." I said, nose to the ground as I stalked down the trail. I picked up the pace and hit my head on a door. "She must be through here."
Shining came up and put his ear to the door, and I did the same. "What is she saying?" he asked after hearing some talking.
"Shes talking to someone, most likely another changeling, about Celestia's mare napping."
"Uhh, guys, can I listen?" Flash asked.
"Dude, you're a pegasus, just fly above us and listen."
"Oh, right." Flash did as I said and listened with us.
"So, how did you hear that? Did you have surgery on your ears too?" Shining asked.
"No, the short time I spent blind heightened my other senses, and because I didn't get my sight back from natural causes, my other senses never went back to normal." I explained. "Or something like that, I don't know, I failed biology."
"Hmm, seems legit."
"Wait, shh, they're quieter now." I listened for a couple seconds. "They know we're listening. I-" I was cut off when the door swung open and the three of us fell in the room, then it shut as quickly as it opened.
"Hah, think you can spy on us don't you?" the queen asked, then she turned to the other changeling. "Anata wa, seresutin no megami o mitsuke."
"What did she say?" Flash asked me.
"Look, just because I have enhanced senses doesn't mean I speak Japanese." I said to him. "Oh by the way, she told the changeling to locate the Celestine goddess."
"So, you do speak Japanese?"
"Yes, but not from the surgery, I watched a lot of anime."
"Aniwhat?"
"I'll explain later." I looked at Chrysalis. "Kanojo ga doko ni aru ka oshietekudasai!"
"Shirimasen." she replied.
"Yokotawaru sukamu."
"Yokotawaru sukamu? Watashi?"
"WHATS HAPPENING?" Shining asked, scared.
"Ok Chrysalis, lets just speak English again."
"I'm fine with that. I don't know anymore Japanese anyways."
"So, where is she?"
"I told you, I don't know!"
"Quit lying!"
"Silly child, no lies escape these lips."
"Chrysalis, you and I both know you took the princess."
"How can we, if I didn't?"
"Just, shut up and give me the princess! DO IT!"
She sighed. " I guess I will have to prove I didn't kidnap her."
"So you do say kidnap in Equestria."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Ok, anyways." She whistled and jerked her head in our direction. Several changelings flew from the dark corners of the room at us, there sharp fangs catching the sunlight from the single window.
"I got this." Flash jumped out from behind me and kicked a changeling in the face before landing in front of me. "You guys go find Celestia, I'll handle the changelings." He hovered a foot above the ground and got his hooves ready for a fight.
"No guard left behind." Shining said before trotting up to Flash's side. His horn glowed and he got ready to use magic to attack the changelings. "Joe, you get going, find Celestia."
"But, what if a guard kicks me out of the castle?"
"Tell them kiwi. They'll understand."
"Ok." I said. "You sure you don't want help here?"
"No, changelings are weak, and Chrysalis is to busy lying about her knowledge on Celestia to fight. NOW GO!"
I nodded then pried the door open and ran into the castle halls. I didn't know what to do. There were so many paths, and I had a time sensitive mission. Adrenaline pumped through my body as I quickly picked a path and ran down it as fast as I could, looking for any sign of the princess. I bumped into a troop of guards that were patrolling.
"What are you doing here?" the lead one asked.
"Umm, uhh, KIWI!" I shouted.
"Nice try, that was last weeks passcode." He said, then he used his magic to pick me up and throw me out the nearest window.
"AHHHH!" I screamed as I plummeted. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? I'M GONNA D-oh yeah." I spread my wings and slowed my descent enough so that when I hit the ground, it only knocked the wind out of me instead of killing me. "Phew." I said when I regained my breath. "That was close."
"JOE! Oh my God, are you all right?" Jodi asked when she saw me.
"Yeah, just a bit bruised." I said. "Also, kizutsukeru shinseina tawagoto." I said before rubbing my stomach.
"What?"
"Nevermind, anyways, we need to go back in the castle."
"Why, what happened?"
"Flash and Shining fought changelings. They saved me, I wanted to stay and help them, but I had a greater mission that would save millions of lives. Celestia is in there somewhere. We have to get to her before Chrysalis does again. I was kicked out when guards saw me without an escort. But, I have an idea."
"What?"
I walked up to Jodi's side where her saddlebag was and I dug around in it.
"What are you doing?" she asked, a tinge of worry in her voice.
"Looking for stuff I put in here, also, some of the things you added, I need to talk to you about. Ah, here they are!" I pulled out two black pieces of fabric.
"What are those?" Jodi asked. "Socks?" she giggled as a slight blush reached her cheeks.
"No, it's magically enhanced fabric that will automatically form to our bodies."
"So..."
"They're ninja suits pretty much, used to conceal our identity."
"Now why do we have these?"
"Well, I sent Luna a piece of mail explicitly telling her to cover the sun with the moon, blocking its light and creating the illusion of night. This will make our suits blend in. We're going to sneak around the castle and look for Celestia that way."
"Wait, if you could send Luna mail, why can't you just tell her to grant you permission to wander the castle?"
"She asked the same thing, the answer is because this is more fun."
"Oh my God, you're impossible." Jodi said. She reluctantly pulled her suit on after several minutes of convincing. The moon rose and blocked the sun just as I said. I threw my suit on.
"Let's go!" I said, adjusting the headpiece so my eyes could see clearly.
"All right, whatever."
Together we ran to the castle and slipped in, unnoticed. We ran down several hallways, passing a few guards, but not one noticed us, excluding one that resembled me strangely accurately.
"Ok, this is the dangerous part." I whispered in her ear.
"What?"
"We're helping Flash and Shining." I said simply then shoved the door open. I ran in and kicked a changeling off of Flash's body. "You guys ok?" I asked the two guards, stretching my wings around them as best as I could to protect them from any attacking changelings.
"Yeah." Shining coughed. "But there were too many. We took a lot down, but they kept coming. Eventually Chrysalis called them off. Only that one stayed." he explained.
"Jodi, get him." I said, nodding towards the hissing changeling.
"What? Me? But, I'm a pacifist!"
"Ugg, fine, you help these guys." I jumped over the two grounded guards and tackled the changeling. "Why did you stay?" I asked the changeling beneath me.
"I was going to tell you the truth about what happened!" he hissed at me. At least, I assume it was a he. "Chrysalis невиновен, Сеlestia был украден королевской гвардии!"
"What? Why are you speaking Russian?"
"A curse was placed on me, whenever I give vital information, it always comes out Russian."
"Thank God my grandpa was a Communist and the family speaks Russian fluently."
"Joe, is there ANYTHING normal about you?" Jodi asked me.
"If there is, I haven't found it." I replied.
"So, what did he say?" Jodi asked.
"It was a royal guard that stole Celestia."
"Aww really? So, we were way off huh?"
"Yup. And also, I think that Chrysalis was trying to help, for once." I said.
"Well, what should we do?"
"We have to find the splinter cell inside the royal guard."
"How?"
"I." There was a creepy piano chord that came from nowhere. "Have." The same piano cord played again. "No." Seriously, where was this chord coming from? "Clue." Then the signature part of Beethoven's fifth played.
Author's Note
For those of you who don't know, YES, it is real Japanese, its just not in original Japanese characters, it's called Roma writing or something like that.
And ps, I tried for this cliffhanger :P
Luke and Twilight were sifting through countless pieces of paper, all notes and info about different inventions, most for the portal box. Fluttershy was sitting in the corner, watching very intently.
"Fluttershy, you sure you don't want me to get you a video game or something to play while we do this?" Luke asked, stopping his so far fruitless search temporarily.
"No, I'm ok, thanks though." she said.
"All right." Luke looked back at the paper in his hand. "I found it!" he exclaimed. "This paper is it!" he quickly looked it over again.
"So, what's wrong with the thing?" Twilight asked.
"It's solar powered. It must have been in the basement too long while we were in Equestria." Luke said.
"Ok, I can create a small solar blast that should be large enough to power it up."
"How? You don't have your magic anymore." Luke pointed out.
"Duh, Archicolties's death laser."
"You mean Archimedes's?"
"No, Archicolties. Whatever, the name doesn't matter! Just, get me some mirrors!"
***
After a few minutes of searching and placing mirrors just right, the two geniuses recreated the death laser and they charged the machine. Luke pressed the button, after carefully disassembling the laser, to recreate the portal, and it worked! The swirling orange vortex floated in front of them.
"Ladies first." Luke said, gesturing at the portal.
"Such a gentlecolt." Twilight said as she went through the portal, Luke following just behind. The portal shivered then shut after they passed through, trapping Fluttershy in Joe's parent's basement, alone, besides obviously the stairs, but that would take a lot of explaining if she were caught.
***
Jodi and I were still going through the castle. I began to realize that all of the guards appeared to be perfect replicas of each other, and they walked, perfectly in sync, at the same cadence as each other. I stopped her when another group of guards passed. I did a series of hoof signals to tell her something.
"What?" she asked.
I grabbed my ear and pulled down slightly.
"What are you saying?" she asked.
"Those guards, they're exactly like each other and timed perfectly too. Also, this," I tugged my ear again "means be quiet." I whispered.
"How should I know that? I don't know sign language!" Jodi whispered back.
"It's not sign language, it's military hand signals. They were used so the-"
"I don't care, just, what is your point in telling me they were exactly the same?"
"Wait, did you guys hear something?" One of the guards asked, stopping the patrol in their tracks.
"Yeah, I did, I just thought I was hearing things." Another guard said. The third looked around the hall.
"Shh." I put my hoof to Jodi's mouth and pushed the two of us back into the shadows. I pulled the flimsy fabric of my costume above my eyes, making myself completely invisible.
"It was probably nothing." The second guard said.
"Let me do a quick sweep check." The third guard said before his horn glowed and a green beam spun around the area."There's something over there." He said, jabbing a hoof in our direction, his horn glowing again.
"Nah, that's where the castle was damaged, remember? It still needs repairing, that's probably the pile of supplies." The first guard said.
"Oh, right." he laughed. "Then it's clear, let's go guys." he said as the small continued on their path.
I waited a few seconds, just to be sure they were gone before pulling the fabric out of my eyes again. I looked at Jodi and nodded, then we went down the hall again. We passed several other patrols of guards on our journey, but we were careful enough, so none caught us again. While we were walking, there was a door that hadn't been there in the show, and I stopped in front of it.
"What, why did you stop Joe?" Jodi asked.
"This door." I said.
"Yeah, what about it?"
"It's not supposed to be here."
"What do you mean?"
"See that door?" I pointed at the next door over.
"Yeah?"
"That's the door to Celestia's bedroom. That door on the other side is Luna's room. There isn't a door between them in the show."
"So? Maybe the carpenters built it between the last episode and now."
"No, the last episode wasn't that long ago. This door is already dusty and has slight damage from water and overuse like the other doors. There is no way a door that young could look like this." I explained quietly. "Plus, my sixth sense is telling me something is wrong with it." I went up to it and put my face to the floor. I peered under the small crack to see if I could tell what was happening. All I could see were countless hooves and a white stallion lying on the ground, probably injured. I stood up and put my ear on the door. I heard two voices conversing just loud enough for me to hear. One voice was familiar, the other, not so much.
"You won't get away with this." Flash said.
"But you foolish guard, I already have." The unknown voice said. "And there's nothing you, the guards, Chrysalis, or those two stupid pegasi can do about it." Whoever it was laughed evilly. Then there was a loud blast and a thud, I quickly looked through the crack again to see an orange body by the white one.
"Jodi, I think our number 1 suspect is through that door." I said.
"So, whats happening?" Jodi asked. "Who is it?"
"I don't know, I can't see, and his voice isn't familiar. If only we had a man on the inside." I answered.
"That can be arranged." Luke said from behind me.
"LUKE!" I shouted lightly. "Dude, so good to see you!" I ran up to him and gave him a bro hug.
"Hey Joe, so what did we miss?" he asked, jabbing a head back to Twilight.
"Not much, just that Celestia was pony napped, Chrysalis isn't the culprit and is actually helping, Flash Sentry and Shining Armor are knocked out, and the one who did pony nap Celestia is in that room." I explained quickly.
"Not sure what any of that means, but hey, I can get you in there, disguised as someone in the room."
"Could you? We need more information and I'm the only one who will understand anything here."
"All right." Luke said. His horn glowed a light green.
Next thing I know, I'm in the room, dressed in full armor, and with the same dark maroon coat as the guards seen previously. My wings were gone, and I had a horn. It felt weird not having wings after all this time I had them. I looked at the slightly bigger guard next to me then at Flash and Shining. I assumed the larger guy next to me was the boss.
"Sir, why did you do that to those two?" I asked.
"Why I knocked them out because they wouldn't do what I asked." he replied.
"And uh, I forgot, whats your name again sir?"
"Dusk Blade, and I really have to fix that memory of yours."
"Yes, that would be helpful Dusk, er, sir. Oh, and are all of us guards clones?"
"Yeah."
"Now my last question, why did we kidnap Celestia?"
"Because, I am the true ruler of Equestria, she stole that from me, and now, is time for revenge. Now, you get these two out of my sight." Dusk turned around and started talking to the other two guards, suggesting I was the one who had to get them out. I hadn't noticed before, but Dusk was actually an alicorn, so in each group of guards there was a unicorn, a pegasus, and an Earth pony, they must be part of him. I walked up to the two unconscious guards and heaved Flash, the lighter one, onto my back. Pegasi are averagely lighter than other species of pony because they need to be lighter to stay in the air. Then I pushed Shining to the door. I opened it slightly and threw the guards out, and I stepped out right behind, then shut the door.
"Luke. Jodi? Twilight?" I said, looking for my friends. All three appeared out of nowhere and Twilight's horn slowly dimmed it's glow.
"Oh Joe, we thought you were an actual clone thing for a minute." Twilight said, blushing in embarrassment.
"Nope, just me. So, how do I turn off the disguise, and how did you know they were clones?"
"Well, you have to do something the original guard your disguised as can't, but because the spell trades your souls, you and him would switch places. Oh, and I wired you when I cast the spell too." Luke explained.
"All right, so where is the guard in my body?"
"Over there. He freaked out and tried to kill us. We knocked him out and possibly broke some of his bones. I'm amazed you didn't hear his screams. But, since your body is injured, you may not want to stretch your wings for a while, even with Twilight's and my healing spells on, it'll still be painful for a while."
"Oh, cool. So that's why you made me the unicorn guard. So I could stretch my wings and easily reverse the spell if need be."
"Yup. So, while you were in there, Twilight explained to me what you said. So, why DID he pony nap or whatever Celestia, and who is he?"
"It's an alicorn named Dusk Blade."
"Oh dear Celestia." Twilight said quietly.
"What, whats wrong Twilight?"
"Dusk Blade. All alicorns, princess, prince, king, or queen, get supreme control over one thing as you know Joe. Celesia chose the sun and day, Luna chose the moon and night, Cadence chose love, and so on."
"Yeah, and?"
"Prince Dusk, he chose war."
"And?"
"He can raise an army from nothing, his combat spells are much more powerful and advanced than any pony else, and worst of all, he can create a perfect war strategy and detect the other side's in, to put it in Rainbow Dash terms, ten seconds flat."
"So, we're fighting a guy with an army of infinite soldiers, can kill with spells that only maim, and can learn our strategy and counter it in mere seconds? Yup, because this is totally fair." I complained.
Jodi, Luke, Twilight and I stood in the hall outside the Dusk's room, just trying to make it so everyone understood the situation we were in.
"So, knowing him, Dusk probably hid the princess in some secret bunker beneath the castle that nobody know's about." Twilight explained.
"Can't you do some magic spell to detect the princess?" I asked.
"No, I am the princess of magic, so I can do more advanced spells than anybody else, but the thing is, you've heard of Daring Do?"
"Yeah?" curiosity was welling in my veins as Twilight thought of how to explain what she was going to say.
"Well, like, she, the author got it wrong. Daring is real, yes, but she isn't a pegasus, she is an alicorn."
"Mind, blown." I said, putting my hooves to the sides of my head, then pulling them away.
"She is the princess of navigation."
"So, where does she-" I began.
"Just, let me finish!" Twilight scolded. "I can cast any magic as long as no prince, princess, king, or queen has chosen the specified field in which the spell belongs. So, I can't cast a spell to locate someone unless I know the general area they're in, and I mean KNOW. I can't just assume. And, as you were asking, Daring governs nowhere. She had the choice of ruling Cloudsdale, but declined for a life of adventure."
"So, we have no way of finding her?"
Twilight and I talked more about Daring Do. Jodi and Luke tried to make sense of anything they said together. We were completely oblivious to the pony slowly hobbling down the hall towards us.
"You better start explaining. NOW!" The injured guard shouted, holding his wings close to his body and favoring his right forehoof.
"I have a crazy idea guys." I said. "Tackle me in three seconds, don't ask just do." I said.
"What, why?"
"DON'T ASK, JUST DO!" I demanded. I stretched my wings, cancelling Luke's spell and going back into my body. I looked at my friends as they dogpiled the guard.
"Now, why did you want us to do this?" Jodi asked the guard.
"Um guys, I'm over here." I laughed.
The three of them looked at the guard they had suppressed then at me and at the guard again.
"Oh, how didn't I see this one coming?" Twilight asked.
Luke shrugged as much as he could, being pinned under Jodi.
"What's going on?" Shining asked, picking himself off the ground and rubbing the base of his horn.
"I'll explain later, but Dusk is probably going to come out to check on his guard. Luke, do the door spell thing."
Luke nodded then did the spell he pulled off on his first day in Equestria, everyone piled through the door except for him and me.
"You go in, I know exactly what to do with this guy, just, hide the door somewhere." I said, hopping on the guard.
"Ok, I hope you know what you're doing." Luke said. He opened the door and hung on the handle. He moved it to the ceiling before pulling himself up into it. I pushed the door open slightly and shoved the guard through it, his body still sprawled. I quickly flapped my wings and went up into the door.
"Nice hiding spot." I said to Luke.
"Thanks. Hey Twilight, why aren't we falling out the door?" Luke asked the purple alicorn in the cramped space.
"Well, the room's center of gravity is the floor it has when the spell is activated. Since said floor is still at the bottom of the room, we fall towards it." the lavender egghead explained.
"I somehow followed that." Jodi said, poking her head into our conversation.
"Shh, he's coming out." I said, looking down as Dusk walked out of the room, a spell ready on his horn. He looked down the hall both ways.
"You freaking liar." he said, pulling the unicorn guard out of the room. "Begone with you." He shot a spell at the guard clone and he vanished, he quickly recreated him and laughed. "You're not as incompetent as the last are you?" he cackled menicingly and went back in the room.
"I'm amazed he didn't question where we were." Flash said, breathing down my neck.
"I honestly forgot you were here." I said.
"So, how about we get out of here." Luke said.
"Sure."
"All right, everypony stay in." he kicked the door open gently and jumped down. He gracefully grabbed the door handle and moved the door through the ceiling until it was on the roof of the castle. He flipped it over so he was outside and he stood to the side, letting us out. "Thank you for riding the Skywalker Express, we hope you take us again some other day." he said jokingly as he helped us out of the room.
"Why the Skywalker Express?" Shining asked when he was pulled out.
"It's better I don't explain."
"Is Skywalker your last name? Luke Skywalker. Cool. I like the ring of it."
"Yeah, let's go with that. Sorry I let my nerd out there." he apologized quietly when he pulled me out.
"It's ok man, and hey, why don't you ever move the door while your inside it?" I asked
"It's more fun that way." he explained.
"I guess that makes sense. So, next quest, where is Celestia?" I said, staring at the town below.
Author's Note
This chapter was written before I saw S4 E4. Shortly after writing it, I saw the episode that pretty much dispelled the Princess Do thing. But, I couldn't find any way to prevent them from using magic to locate Celestia, so I stuck with it.
"So, now what?" Twilight asked.
"I think we find Celestia, that is our current quest." I said.
"You play too many video games." Luke said, destroying the door in the process. Splinters of magic wood flying everywhere.
"Yeah, I know, now, how are we going to find her?"
"Well, we could go find Daring Do." Jodi suggested. "That's her name right? It's hard to follow your conversations sometimes."
"That is a good idea, but she's probably out somewhere, on some crazy life risking adventure looking for some priceless artifact left by the Maretans or the Stalliomans." Twilight said with an exasperated sigh.
"Maretans? Stalliomans?" Luke asked.
"The pony versions of the Spartans and Romans." I explained. "At least, I think so. They were never in shows."
"Let's go with that."
"You know, actually, I feel like Celestia isn't actually anywhere near civilization." Jodi said, staring at the slowly dulling sun.
"Why's that?"
"Well, if you were some warlord and you stole the leader of the enemy, would you hide them in town?"
"No, I suppose that makes sense." I said, pondering what she was getting at. "Where would you say she is?"
"Far from civilization."
"Yeah, but that's the thing, all corners of Equestria have been explored, the only place no pony lives in anymore is the Everfree Forest." I said, realization hitting me, my face slowly turning to one of awe. "Jodi, you are a genius!" I said. I kissed her quickly then turned back to the others. "To the Everfree it is." I said.
***
Fluttershy was sitting in the corner of Joe's basement, twiddling her new thumbs, waiting for someone to return, or the portal to reopen. She pulled her dress down her legs to ensure no one was peeping at her, though, nobody was. Probably. She looked to her left, then right. She started sweating with fright, so she whistled to calm herself down. Not long after she began, she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. She didn't know what to do, so she snuggled closer into the corner, hoping that whoever it was would either not come in or miss her, and leave soon too. After the person got off the stairs, there were light footsteps as they crossed the tile floor at the bottom towards the workshop.
Well, this is it. You're going to be busted, then you're going to prison for trespassing, and you'll never see Equestria or your friends again. she thought silently to herself, scaring herself so much she elicited a small 'eep'. Then she heard the footsteps go a little more cautiously, slowly coming towards her. She saw a head poke through the door, it scared her so much that she nearly wet herself.
"Fluttershy? Where's Twilight and Luke?" Fred asked.
"Oh phew, it's just you." Fluttershy said. She jumped up and hugged him. "I thought it was someone else! I've never been so happy to see you before!"
Fred absentmindedly patted Fluttershy's back in the embrace. "So uhh, what did I miss?" he asked after a few seconds to recollect himself.
"Twilight and Luke got the machine to work and they went back to Equestria!" Fluttershy spat out the words like they were hot coals, burning her mouth.
"What? And they didn't bother telling me?"
"But, I think we can recreate the rig they made to charge the thing."
"Good, they'll probably need us."
Fluttershy gathered up the mirrors that the two super nerds shoddily hid. then she reassembled the mirror thing and waited a couple minutes.
"Is it working?" Fred asked when his patience ran out.
"Hang on, let me check. I don't think so." Fluttershy said. She went to the mirror closest the window. She readjusted it a bit until a faint beam of light shot form it and hit the next mirror. She fidgeted with a few other mirrors until the beam got to the solar panel on the portal box.
"So, now is it functional?" Fred asked.
"It should be. Can you press the button?" Fluttershy asked, holding a mirror. "I can't put this mirror down or the sun beam breaks."
"Ok." Fred walked over to the portal box and located the button. He pushed it and the portal appeared. "It worked! Quick, put the mirrors away!"
Fluttershy put the mirrors back where she found them and went up to Fred's side. The two went through the portal and into Equestria.
"And cue the portal shut." Fred said a few seconds after they passed through, and as if it followed his command, the portal quivered then shut.
"Nice timing. Bet you can't do it again." Fluttershy said.
"Bet you're right."
The two walked to Ponyville, laughing along the way. After a few minutes, the two went silent. When Fred got to Ponyville, he turned to say a quip to Fluttershy, but noticed she wasn't there. He looked back to see her standing on the hill just outside the town. He ran up to her to ask what she was doing. When he got to her, she was mumbling something under her breath.
"Fluttershy? Are you all right?" He asked, waving his hoof in front of her face. He did several other things to try and get her attention. He eventually gave up. Fred sat next to the completely zoned out pony when he got an idea. He slowly reached his hoof out and he poked her wing. Nothing happened. He started playing with her feathers, and Fluttershy did nothing in response. Fred saw a feather with a red line in it, so it plucked it to see it closer.
"EEP!" Fluttershy screamed, jumping into the air. She fluttered her wings, but quickly fell to the ground, as one wing needed serious preening now. "Don't touch bloodfeathers!" she shouted in Fred's face, her eyes momentarily red with rage.
"Sorry, but, you were mumbling something, and you zoned out. I wanted to get your attention back to the real world." Fred explained apologetically.
"Well, Twilight made a neural link with me. You just broke it." Fluttershy said.
"Oh, I'm sorry. What did she say?"
"She told me they may have located princess Celestia. They're on the way to the Everfree."
"I missed so much." Fred mumbled to himself.
"Oh sorry, sometimes when Twilight establishes a neural link with me, I can see into her mind and it's hard to keep my mind and her mind separate. So, I guess I must have gotten her memories mixed up with mine. I'll explain everything I know you missed on our way back to my cottage."
"All right I guess."
Fluttershy and Fred walked around Ponyville and left for the edge of the Everfree. No ponies talked to them or stopped them on their path, in fact, they only saw one creepy old stallion tending a garden.
"OK, so, the others will be here any minute. It's a much shorter trip than you'd think." Fluttershy said as she went over to her kitchen and prepared some foods.
"Ok, so, I think that if we're going to have any chance of finding some secret bunker that's housing a kidnapped princess then we'll have to split up." I said shortly after we entered the woods.
"No, haven't you ever watched movies? When you go into a forest, you never split up! Someone always dies!" Fred complained.
"Why are you scared? You're the one carrying a shotgun."
"It's a flaregun."
"You can still use it to blow the heads off stuff." I added quietly. "So, what do you suggest we do then?"
"We stick together in a group."
"But if we're split up, we have more groups so we can cover more ground and find Celestia faster."
"But I don't want to die!" he shouted, staring at me intently.
"But I want to save this world!" I stared back at him.
"Wow, you can just feel the tension." Jodi said. "And I swear I see lightning shooting from their eyes, like in a cartoon or something."
Fred and I stared at each other, a staring contest for the ages.
"What do you think they're doing?" Fluttershy asked Luke.
"Knowing them, they'll stare at each other like that until one of them blinks, and the winner is the one who's plan is used." Luke explained.
"Well, I'm just gonna start looking for Celestia." Fluttershy said, leaving the small group and going deeper into the woods.
"Dude, you know I'm gonna win." I said, lowering my stare into a glare.
"Not even in your dreams." Fred said, doing the same.
"Hey guys, uhh, Twilight and I are going to start looking too." Jodi said as she and the alicorn slowly flapped their wings, preparing for flight. "You going to come too?" Jodi asked. The two mares waited for a few seconds for a response.
"Yeah yeah, after this." I said, staring at Fred even harder.
"Ok, let's go then." Jodi and Twilight flew off.
"So umm, I'm just gonna. Leave now." Luke said awkwardly before wandering off into the forest.
Fred and I kept staring at each other. My eyes started watering and I could feel my eyelids quivering. Fred smirked.
"I won this." he said. He smiled smugly and made a show of yawning as if saying 'ha, I'm better than you because I can go longer without blinking'.
"Dude, you just blinked." I said as I gave my eyes a break and blinked several times to get them wet.
"What?"
"When you yawned, you shut your eyes. So I win."
"Aww come on. That's not fair."
"Yeah it kind of is. So, I guess we're splitting up then." I looked over to where the others were standing.
"Well, looks like its just you and me." Fred said.
I sighed. "All right, let's get going. Follow me."
"You lead the way, because I have no idea what this place even is."
"You do realize that if a manticore attacks us, we're doomed right"
"Yup. That's why I got this." Fred said, adjusting the strap on the flaregun.
"Let's get going." I said. I flapped my wings, beating the air to hover shortly above the ground. I ventured into the woods with Fred in tow.
"I hope you know where you're going." Fred said, I could hear the fear in his voice.
"Hey man, look on the bright side, we good be in much worse places, like ancient greece. They have hydras, Medusa, Hades, hell hounds, and the namean lion."
"Makes me glad to be here."
"Branch."
"What? OW! You could've warned me!"
"I did. I said branch to warn you about the branch that hit you're face."
"Oh, I see." Fred said as he rubbed his face.
I laughed as we continued our search. I heard a faint roar and a gun shot. I looked back at Fred.
"Fluttershy!" he shouted.
"What?"
"That was her rifle going off! She must be in trouble."
"Ok, it came from over there. Let's go see if she's all right." I said before flying through the forest at full speed, Fred blindly chased me, head down as to not get any branches to the face while we ran.
***
I burst into a clearing in the woods and looked around. Fred arrived seconds after me. I saw a flash of yellow through some of the brush, it was quickly followed by a flash of orange and red.
"What was that?" Fred asked.
"The manticore."
"Dear God."
"FLUTTERSHY, COME BACK HERE, WE CAME TO HELP YOU!" I shouted, I flew into the forest, chasing after what I assumed was Fluttershy running by at a high speed.
"Buh, uhh, ta, JOE!" Fred tried to get me to stop, but instead joined the chase.
***
"What do you want from me?" Fluttershy cried. She stopped running and turned around to look at the manticore. Not that she had much choice, she was trapped at a stone cliff, and her rifle was out of ammo.
"You know well what I want." The manticore said.
"No, I don't. Just tell me, I'll give it to you!" Fluttershy was quickly thinking through everything she could do. She could take a clip off of the leather strap and put it in the rifle. No, that would take too long. She could try to fight the hybrid nightmare. No, even if she were strong enough to hold back it's paws, it still had a lethal stinger.
"I want my father back!"
"Huh?" Fluttershy was taken aback by the request.
"My father, he was slain by that zebra you call a friend! I heard you're the only pony that can go to the depths of Tartarus and retrieve a soul."
"Yes, I can, but in return for another soul only."
"Then give the devil a soul! I don't care who's, just give me my father back!"
"I can't kill some pony else just for your desire."
"Do it, or I will bring my father back in replace of you!" the maticore roared, his neck fur bristled.
"Don't you lay a claw on that pegasus!" a voice shouted from the nearby woods. Joe flew out from the trees and kicked the manticore in the back of the head. "No pony touches Fluttershy!" I screamed in it's face.
The manticore hissed and swiped a paw at me. I jumped out of the way of it's sharp talons. "My father will come back no matter what you say or do!" The manticore snapped forward and swung it's tail at me, too fast for me to escape. Then, a bright pink, nearly white, light erupted from the woods and smashed into the manticore's face. Shortly after, it exploded into fireworks. Fred ran from the woods and punched the manticore's nose.
***
"So, do you think they finished their little staring contest?" Jodi asked Twilight.
"Probably by now. Not even the Equestrian Record holder would still be staring this long." Twilight explained.
"Who do you thin-" Jodi was cut off by a loud explosion. "What was that?" Jodi asked, totally freaked out.
"Fred's flare!" Twilight said, panicked. She instantly turned around and flew off towards the light.
"What?" Jodi asked, flying after the lavender alicorn.
"Fred must be in trouble!"
"Why don't you just flash us there? Can't you do that?"
"I can, but in a panicked state of mind, I can't focus, so the teleportation spell will put us anywhere within ten miles of the target location."
"Oh."
***
I wonder what Joe and Fred have decided on? Probably splitting up since the rest of us did. Luke thought to himself. He heard a loud bang and saw bright light in front of him. Oh those dolts. Luke's horn glowed as he activated a teleportation spell. There was a small flash of light, and he was back at Fluttershy's cottage. What the heck? How did I get here? Luke looked around, a little worried that his flow of magic must be broken or something. Oh, magic must require focus, and panic ruins focus.
***
"What are you two doing?" Fluttershy asked, a hint of fear in her voice.
"Saving you!" Fred shouted as his hoof connected with the manticore's jaw.
"Stop that!" the manticore screamed. He swept his paw at the earth pony. Fred pushed back with his head. He gritted his teeth as he held back.
"Leave Fluttershy alone!" I shouted. I flew as fast as I could and grabbed the manticore's tail. He fought back as I held his stinger from attacking any pony.
"You two are weak." The manticore taunted. He swung his other front paw at Fred. Fred stuck a hoof out and stopped the paw in it's path. He put his other hoof on the paw he was holding back with his head. He glared at the manticore who glared back.
"Give up now and we won't hurt you." Fred said confidently.
"I'd like to see you TRY and hurt me." the manticore laughed. He pushed his paws together as hard as he could, instantly crushing Fred in his grasp.
"NOO, FRED!" I screamed. I pulled the tail in rage, trying to rip the manticore from the ground, and fling him onto his back.
"Hahaha! You are such puny creatures!"
"RRRAHHHHHH!" Fred screamed. He pushed back against the manticore's paws with impossible strength. "NO ONE, INSULTS, ME!" He pushed the paws backwards on the manticore's body, passing his shoulders. "I WILL PERSONALLY SEND YOU TO TARTARUS!" Fred pushed back more, so he could get his face inches from the manticore's. "Say hi to your father for me." Fred slammed his head forward, bashing skulls with the evil hybrid. There was a loud cracking noise. The manticore fell back. I released my grip on it's stinger.
"Is it over?" Fluttershy asked.
"Yeah, we won." I said.
"All thanks to me and my super strength." Fred boasted.
"Yeah, but he would've stung you if I weren't there." I said unamused.
There was a loud grumbling behind us as the manticore got back up.
"Get out of here before we really kill you!" I said, flaring my wings.
The manticore hissed and his eyes turned to slits. He spread his wings and flew off. "You will rue this day!" he shouted flying away.
"Fred, Joe, Fluttershy! Are you three all ok?" Twilight and Jodi asked in unison as they flew into the small clearing. There was a flash of light next to Fluttershy as Luke transported in.
"Please magic, be this the right place!" Luke said, clenching his eyes shut as tight as possible.
"Luke. Hey man, open your eyes." I said.
Luke opened one eye first then the other. His face went from one of fear and suspense, to one of relief. "Oh thank Celestia. Now, I suppose we should go find Celestia now huh?"
"Yup." Everyone said at the same time.
Author's Note
We all knew the manticore fight would happen. Right?
"Ugg, this is boring, are we there yet?" Fred asked me.
"If we were there we wouldn't be walking now would we?" I asked rhetorically.
"Umm, actually, we are here." Jodi said, bringing the whole group to a halt.
"What? How do you know?"
"Well, there's this random brick construct in the middle of the woods."
I looked at the large box in front of us. "Hmm. Well, this isn't supposed to be here as far as I know."
"Honestly, I'm amazed you didn't see it until I pointed it out, it's not like it was painted camouflage or anything."
"Anyways, so, how about we go around it and look for an entrance?" I suggested.
The other ponies in the group muttered amongst themselves in agreement.
"So, guys go this way, girls go that way?" Fred asked.
"Sure, it seems reasonable enough." Twilight said.
"But, can't we-" Jodi started.
"What?" Luke asked.
"Never mind."
"Ok."
The group split up and went around the cubical impound.
***
"So, did you girls see anything?" I asked the girls when our groups met on the other side of the box.
"No, did you?" Fluttershy asked.
"No, but Luke here has been whispering to himself the whole time." I pointed out.
"Did you catch anything out of the ordinary on the walls?" Twilight asked. "Anything? Any dents or chips forming a picture, or an out of place brick, maybe an oddly colored one?"
"All I can think of is that no spots on the wall were perfectly flat, like it was constructed in old times, before machines could build brick buildings, or that hand workers got payed by how well a job they did."
"Curious. We observed the same. Though they seem to think it's normal." Twilight said. "It's too shoddy to have done by magic, or Earth ponies. Earth ponies kind of have an eye for perfectness."
"So, I DO have some sort of power." Fred said, he appeared dumbstruck.
"Yeah, but you also have extra strength." Twilight said.
Fred glared at me. "You liar." he mouthed. Or maybe it was 'I hate you' or something. I can't read lip.
"I'll be right back." Twilight said. She turned around and went back around the building.
"What is she doing?" I asked.
Luke turned around and did the same thing Twilight did, continuing on with his quiet prattle to himself.
"What is he doing?" Jodi asked.
"I don't know. I'm not him."
"Should we go talk to them?"
"Nah, it's probably best to leave them alone."
"Ok, hey, where did Fluttershy and Fred go?" Jodi asked.
I looked around for my friends. "I don't know." I heard the sound of gently fluttering wings and a yellow feather fell in front of me. "Possibly up there." I said, looking up at the silhouette of two ponies in the air. I watched as it slowly flew one way, then quickly came back. I was surprised when the figure split in two, one with wings, one without. The one with wings slowly came down as the other figure fell quickly.
"What is he doing?" Jodi asked, staring at the black figures. "Oh crap, RUN!" she said, bolting to the side.
I looked at her for a moment. "What? Why?" I looked back at Fred then realized what was going to happen. "CRAAAAAP!" I screamed as I ran to the side with Jodi. There was a very loud bam . I dared to look at what happened. Fred got up and rolled his neck.
"Wow that is one strong wall." he said. He looked where he hit, a dent was just barely visible. "Guess we're finding another way in." he said. Just then, Luke and Twilight came back around the building.
"Well guys, good news and bad news." Twilight said. "Which do you want first?"
"Uhh, let's get the bad news out of the way first." I said, a hint of terror in my voice.
"Well, neither of us can use magic to go through the wall." Luke said. "But now time for the good news, Celestia is in there."
"What? Awesome, so, can't you do that spell that takes us to a person if we know where they are or whatever?"
"I just said we can't."
"But I know someone who can." Twilight said.
"Who? Get them!" I demanded.
"Joe, don't you notice anything odd about me?" She asked.
"Umm, no." I looked Twilight over again. Then I noticed. "Wait, Chrysalis?"
"Eeyup." the changeling queen said. She altered back to her normal form and the real Twilight came around the building.
"So, get us in there!"
"Ok." Chrysalis said. She changed herself into Dusk Blade. The queen then used her new war magic to take down a portion of the wall of the bunker. Celestia was sitting in it. She had a muzzle on and she was chained up. There was a metal ring around her body, holding her wings to her side. She was completely incapable of movement or communication, and if to add insult to injury, some pony put a butterfly net over the monarch's horn,
"Celestia!" I shouted. I ran up to the princess to help her out of her shackles.
'NO JOE!" Twilight shouted.
"Huh?" I stopped running and looked back at the lavender alicorn. Her warning was too late. When I set my last hoof down, a net shot out from the wall and it wrapped around me. The impact made me fall to the ground and I landed on my side.
"I'm coming Joe! Don't worry!" Jodi screamed. She ran up to me and suffered the same fate. She landed next to me and we were stuck staring at each other.
"Wait, I'll help you!" Fluttershy said. She fluttered her wings and flew a few inches off the ground and flew to the two of us. A magnet activated on the ceiling. It pulled her up due to the rifle on her back. "Ooof." she grunted when she hit the ceiling. She tried to undo the strap, but of course, it had a metal buckle on it, so it got pulled out of her reach. Why would anything just be that easy.
"What do we do?" Luke asked.
"I don't know." Chrysalis said.
"I have an idea." Twilight said. Her horn glowed and a brick was pulled off the wall. She used her magic to test every tile on the floor. She followed it on a straight path to me and Jodi. Suddenly, a half circle of metal with a butterfly net on it fell from the ceiling and pinned her to the ground. The net covered her horn. "Oh great. Butterfly nets. They cancel magic." she gave out an exasperated harrumph as she spread her wings to try and push the thing off of her. All she got was a sharp pain in both wings as she realized her wings were pinned to her body just like Celestia's. Of course, she could still talk and wasn't forced to be standing in an awkward position. "Amazing, the traps must be heat sensitive.
"Umm, guys." Fred said, tapping Luke on the shoulder.
"What?" Luke asked. He turned around. The wall was reconstructed and Dusk Blade stood in front of them. "Oh, ha ha Chrysalis. Nice try. You're not getting me so easily."
"Umm, that's not me." the changeling queen said. Luke looked left, eyes wide open. he looked at Chrysalis. "Hi." she said lightly.
"Well well my little ponies. You must be quite strong and intelligent to have made it this far." Dusk Blade said in a voice so deep that it would put Arnold Hoofenneger in his place. "Oh, and I see you have Chrysalis too." He glowered at Chrysalis.
"Hi." She said again, a tinge of fear in her voice.
"Uhh, you two have a problem with each other?" Fred asked.
"Yeah, we kind of used to go out until I cheated on him."
"Ok, I don't know a lot about love, but that just isn't something you do to a guy." Luke said.
"So, you have two choices. Die, or die." Dusk said. Both choices had a different tone, equally terrifying.
"Can I get a third option?" Luke asked. "Like maybe, go back home and bang my head on the wall repeatedly until the memory of everything that happened in Equestria is gone? No? Well, it was worth a shot."
"Now, please, I need an answer. I may be the literal god of war, but I do have important things scheduled that can't be put off." Dusk said.
"Umm, I choose, you die." Chrysalis said, changing into her normal self.
"But, that's not an option. This is also part of the reason we broke up you know. You never play by the rules, or fairly."
"Can we just get this thing going?" Luke said. "I'd prefer my death be quick."
"Well, it's nice to see someone's mind is in the right place. Let's start this up." Dusk whistled and clicked his hoof on the perfect tile ground twice. The room spun and the trapped ponies were sent to different corners of the box, Fluttershy still stuck on the ceiling in the center. Dusk wandered to the center of the room, and Luke, Fred, and Chrysalis stood around him in a triangle. "So, which of you will die first?"
"Guys, be careful, this will be the fight of your life. He may come off as kind of like a playground bully, but, those bullies would seem like ants to him." Chrysalis explained quickly. "All we have to do is out battle him, last longer than him in our duel."
"Like that will happen. I am a god you know." Dusk pointed out.
"Yes, we get it, now let's get this show on the road." Fred said. He charged at the alicorn.
Dusk flicked a hoof at Fred, and he was sent flying back. Dusk yawned into his hoof.
Chrysalis and Luke looked at each other, Luke nodded lightly towards Dusk. Chrysalis nodded approval, and she changed herself into the god before her. She shot a lethal spell at him at the same time Luke shot one off. Dusk shot an equally powerful spell to block Chrysalis's and he kicked his back hoof at Luke's spell, blasting it off it's trajectory towards the wall. Brick shards flew in all directions and a thick cloud of smoke was made at the collision zone.
"Tell me you aren't trying please. I've battled cockroaches that put up a better fight than you." Dusk taunted. He shot another spell at his ex-marefriend. Chrysalis activated a block spell. The spell didn't completely counter Dusk's, but it was knocked slightly off course and hit chrysalis's horn. Her transmogrification spell faltered as she switched between herself and Dusk several times before freezing on herself. Chrysalis tried to change herself back into Dusk Blade, but the magic wouldn't respond.
"Luke, my transformation, it won't work!" Chrysalis shouted at her ally, trying unsuccessfully to change into a different pony.
"It's ok, I got this." Luke shot a barrage of powerful spells at Dusk Blade, who blocked each one without a problem.
"Cockroaches." Dusk reminded the unicorn as he turned to him. Dusk shot a powerful beam at Luke. Luke used his magic to create an invisible force field, protecting him from the spell. Energy flew every direction, luckily not hitting any pony. Luke gritted his teeth and put all of his effort into the spell. The unseeable shield in front of him started to crack under the sheer power of Dusk's spell. The spell stopped suddenly. Luke put down his shield and looked at Dusk, panting. The god and queen were wresting. Chrysalis put a hoof to Dusk's face and pushed his head into the ground. She was smart and had his horn aiming at the wall so he couldn't use any magic to break free. Chrysalis also had a hoof on each of Dusk's legs. The only one she didn't pin down herself was under his back.
"And you called us the cockroaches." Chrysalis laughed. "It took me seconds to pin you down."
Dusk whistled quietly. Three clones rose from the ground and grabbed Chrysalis then pulled her away from Luke and Dusk.
"All right Luke, where were we?" Dusk spun his head around a bit and cracked his neck.
***
Fred rubbed his head and slowly rose to his feet from his new position in the corner next to Jodi.
"Fred. Go help Joe or Twilight." Jodi said.
"No, I'm going to free you first."
"No, don't, I can do this myself, plus, I'm a pacifist, and judging by the looks of it, you need a fighter out on the field."
Fred grabbed the edge of the net that housed Jodi. He pulled it up and reached for some more of the net to help free Jodi. Suddenly, a fast moving hoof met his stomach.
"I said go free Joe!" Jodi demanded.
"OK, ok, sheesh." Fred said before slowly crawling across the room to the corner where Joe was lying. He paused for a moment when a particularly dangerous spell hit the wall above him and a thin layer of smoke was formed.
***
Chrysalis was held by the throat up against a brick wall by the pegasus guard.
"Such potential. Much power." The pegasus said.
"What, are, you, going, to, do, with, me?" The changeling queen managed to ask.
"If we kill you, then you will have died in war, and any creature who dies in war then joins Dusk Blade's invincible army. You would be a perfect addition." The unicorn said, his horn glowing to prepare a spell.
"You'll never take me!" She spat at the three in one quick breath. She swiped her horn at the pegasus and caused a nasty gash in his wing to be ripped open.
"OW!" He shouted. He let go of the queen and rubbed his wound. His blood blended in with his dark maroon coat.
Chrysalis fell to the ground and swiped her horn at the other two guards. The Earth pony guard ducked, so his black mane got cut, and the unicorn guard blocked the attack with his horn. Chrysalis pushed her horn down on the unicorn as hard as she could. She over powered the clone and sliced through him. He disappeared in a puff of smoke. Chrysalis panted for a few seconds. That clone was pretty strong, and plus, she was being choked for an awful long time. The pegasus darted up to her from the side. She punched it in the face and it joined it's pegasus friend in the realm of the wherever the puff of smoke takes you.
"All right, just, calm down, we can work this out." The Earth pony said, slowly backing up.
"How about, I kill you quick and painlessly, and you don't put up a fight."
"Deal." He stood stock still and clenched his eyes shut, waiting to be turned to smoke. Chrysalis slashed him and held her promise.
***
Twilight, still pinned down by the metal and butterfly net, was attempting to escape.
"Blasted butterfly net. Cancelling magic." Twilight shot a spell at the net to show her discomfort. It jiggled slightly in response. Twilight shot another spell, a little more potent this time. There was a soft crack at the base of the net as a jagged split was put in it. Twilight shot a much stronger spell at the net and blasted it off the metal base, freeing her magic. "Perfect." She charged a spell and aimed at the metal base. There was a small buzz as a titanium reinforced net extended from the wall and covered the alicorn's horn. "Of course."
***
"Just give up already Dusk, you know you'll lose this battle." Luke said as he shot a few more attacks at the alicorn.
"Pfft, seriously, those cockroaches posed more of a threat dude. Those things can survive a nuke you know, you can't." Dusk informed the unicorn before reflecting the spells.
Luke ran around the god, repeatedly pelting him with quick, but weak, attacks. The few that Dusk didn't block seemed ineffective on him. He whistled then clicked a hoof on the ground twice quickly. Clone guards surrounded Luke.
"All right, I didn't want to do this, but you made me." Luke's horn glowed a spectacular white. So pure and bright that it would make the sun jealous.
"What's this?" Dusk asked. Then he realized what it was. The only spell that has enough power to destroy him. The same spell that destroyed the Maretans, the Mareyas, the Stalliomans, and well, all now extinct cultures. "Are you crazy? No pony has ever pulled this off without committing suicide!"
A giant white ball of the previously stated brilliance appeared on the tip of Luke's horn. The thing was easily five times larger than Luke.
"I'm no normal pony." Luke said, his mouth forming a smirk.
Dusk whistled to his clones in a panic. The clones tackled Luke. Dusk created more who quickly joined the ponypile. There was a deafening burst of sound, and a rush of shadows. Luke stood alone, covered in dark dust, his blood veins glowing the same white the ball was, and they showed through his coat.
"What? Impossible!" Dusk exclaimed.
"You picked a fight with the wrong cockroach." Luke aimed another spell at Dusk. The glow from his blood veins slowly vanished and a similar spell charged at his horn. His body pulsed the brilliant white as the ball grew. "Any last words?"
Dusk whistled and stamped his hoof repeatedly to summon more clones, all specifically unicorns. The clones used the most powerful shield spell they could. A beam shot from the ball on Luke's horn. It smashed through the magic shield and destroyed all the clones. It ran out of energy just short of hitting Dusk. Luke's blood veins went back to glowing white.
***
"Fred? Why didn't you help Jodi?" I asked when Fred came up to me.
"She went ballistic when I tried to help her. So, I figured I'd help you." Fred explained as he started tugging on the net that was holding me down.
"That's Jodi for ya."
"All right, that should about do it." Fred said as he pulled the net off of me completely.
"Thanks." Fred helped me up onto my feet just as a loud, drawn out, blasting noise came from the center of the room. We both looked.
"Is Luke, glowing?"
"Yeah."
"Cool."
"All right, now, you go help Twilight, I'll help Jodi."
"Ok. Hey, good luck with the torrent of rage."
***
"Look man, you know you can't win, so stop delaying the inevitable." Luke said. He charged up another spell.
"You can't beat me, I'm the god of war!" He summoned more guards to attack Luke. Luke released the spell. Several small spheres of energy came off the original one as it shrunk. Each one hit a guard clone and destroyed it. Luke shot several more spells, each one intercepted by a clone.
***
"Here Jodi, let me help you." I said as I pulled the last bit of net that was still on her.
"Thanks."
"So why did you go off on Fred?"
"I hate him."
"Well that was subtle."
"Yeah, now, I'll go help Fluttershy."
"Ok."
***
"Hey Twilight, need some help?" Fred asked the alicorn when he snuck up to her.
"No, I'd rather just sit here trapped and completely suppressed." She said sarcastically.
"Ok." Fred turned around and walked a few steps.
"That was sarcasm you dolt."
"Ok." Fred went back up to the princess and lifted the metal brace of of her. Then he snapped the handle of the net and removed it from her horn.
"Thank you, dimwit."
"Your welcome. Now, I'm not sure how much longer Luke will last, let's go help him." Fred darted up to Dusk and tackled him quickly with Twilight short behind. Joe joined the pile too, so did Chrysalis.
***
"Fluttershy, I'm going to free you." Jodi said, flapping her wings lightly to stay above the battle.
"Thank you." Fluttershy said as Jodi unbuckled the rifle strap. The pegasus fell onto the pony pile beneath her and Jodi flew to Celestia and tried freeing her.
***
"All right, jokes over. I'm going to actually try now." Dusk said from beneath the pile of ponies. He quickly shot off a spell and every pony on him, and Luke, were sent flying. They all got knocked out from the impact. "So, now it's just me, Celestia, and that one pegasus mare." Dusk looked over at the trapped princess and her attempted savior. He used his magic to trap the princess in a barred box, similar to what shark divers use. It fused with the brick wall of the building and held Celestia there fast. He freed her of her previous bondage, but he kept the net on her, so she could at least stretch her wings and walk around in the small closure.
"Oh dear God." Jodi said quietly as she looked at Dusk, realizing she was the only hope Celestia had at freedom.
"There is no 'God' that can help you anymore." Dusk said. He flared his wings and his horn glowed.
Jodi's eyes went wide as her biggest fear was met. Having to fight another living being. She didn't know how to really get ready for a fight. So she just flared her wings and bowed her head to the ground.
"So now you're going to praise me? I assume you've never been in a fight in your life."
Jodi pushed off from the ground and flapped her wings with plenty of force once. She glided through the air and her hoof met Dusk's face.
"Well then." Dusk pushed his jaw to the side quickly and there was a soft pop. He grabbed Jodi's back leg and swung her over his body and slammed her to the ground.
"Umph. That hurt! Jerk!" Jodi kicked at Dusk with all her might, only to land a weak blow to his leg.
"I've been called much worse, and you're really weak, I got hurt more by a-"
"Let me guess, a cockroach." Jodi cut in unamused.
"No, a mosquito, everyone knows cockroaches are incapable of hurting a full grown pony unless they have like hyper sensitive skin or something. Why would you even think that I'd say cockroach?"
"Well, because you, whatever, just, let's get this started."
"Ok, whatever you say." A black spell charged up on the end of Dusk's horn. His very dark grey mane started waving in the wind that the spell caused. The spell was so black that it seemed bigger than it was because it destroyed the nearby light. The orb slowly grew. "You and your friends are about to go out the same way as the hundreds of civilizations that I've destroyed."
Jodi stared at the ball of death. Her eyes grew wider than they've ever been before. She took the phrase 'your eyes are bigger than your stomach' to a whole new level, as this was easily true about her.
"Say your last words." Dusk said. He lowered his head and pointed the spell at Jodi. She got a crazy idea, a very very very very very, very crazy, idea. She jumped at the orb and clung onto it. It was surprisingly solid. That or the magic was so potent that it was dense enough to grab. The sphere blew up and Jodi was sent flying. She smashed into the wall with such a great force that it would bowl over an elephant. Dusk walked up to her limp body. "I must admit, that was very brave of you. I have never seem any pony so brave as to throw themselves into the most dangerous and deadly spell known to ponykind just to save their probably already dead friends. You will make a great addition to my clones. Your bravery will be spread amongst my clones and they will be brave too. I only wish that other ponies would be that brave. My only regret of the day, that what I have said was not heard by any pony but me, and Celestia, who probably wasn't listening." An evil grin met his face, along with a forcefully shoved hoof. He backed up and rubbed his very possibly broken nose. "What?!"
Jodi struggled to get on her feet. She looked at Dusk, panting.
"Impossible."
Jodi took a few more breaths. "You messed with the wrong mare!" She shouted. She spread her wings and bent her head down a bit. Her wingspan was significantly larger than before, there was gold on her hooves, a tiara on her head, and her horn glistened in the strangled sunlight poking through the cracked wall. Wait, horn?
"I don't believe it." Dusk stared at the beautiful alicorn.
Jodi slowly walked up to the awestruck god. "Believe it."
Dusk backed up and shot a spell at the new alicorn. The spell fizzled just before striking her. "Dear Luna."
"Dusk, you are about to pay for your crimes against ponykind." Jodi's horn glowed a very bright yellow and a small orb formed on the end. It flew from her horn and went between Dusk's legs, landing under his stomach.
"Umm, you missed."
"Look again."
Dusk flinched. In every TV show and movie, 'look again' meant something bad, for the bad guy. And Dusk had a strong feeling he was the bad guy. He dared to peak down. A crack formed in the ground and slowly grew. It eventually formed a circle around him, but nothing more happened. Then, the edges of the circle collapsed and fell into what appeared to be a fiery hellhole. Dusk flared his wings to fly to safety, but the ground beneath him fell away at the last second.
"Burn in tartarus." Jodi said, staring into the pit at the falling god.
"You'll pay for this! Mark my words! I am immortal!" His last words echoed from the pit. Jodi stomped a hoof and it shut.
"No way." Celestia said from her small enclosure.
Jodi walked up to the prison cell and slashed the bars with her horn. The cage vanished and Celestia stepped out.
"Many thanks, Jodi. I am most astonished than one who knows so little about our world actually became a princess. Normally, when a pony becomes a princess, it is done officially and she gets to pick what she is the princess of, but in this case, I think you shouldn't get the choice, and you should just be the princess of justice and equality."
"Umm, sure?"
"Good. Now, we will heal your friends, and do an official coronation at once."
"Actually, no offense, but I'd rather live on Earth, not here."
"Perfectly fine, but, you can still be the princess." Celestia shut her eyes and her horn glowed it's usual yellow. The room vanished and everyone appeared in the throne room of the castle of Canterlot. Jodi's friends were no longer out cold, and her gold horseshoes were cleaned from the few scuffs and dents in them already. "I hope you enjoyed your stay here in Equestria. All of you, and I hope to see you again soon." Celestia's horn's aura appeared again, then an orange vortex appeared next to her. "I cannot wait until I actually get to know you, let's hope the next time you come, my life does not hang in the balance. Good bye Jodi, Joe, Luke, and Fred."
"Bye Celestia." We all said at the same time before walking into the portal.
***
"Ok, let's make sure we're all here." I said as I turned around to look at my friends. "All right, Jodi, Luke, Fred, Twilight, looks like we're all, wait, Twilgiht?!" I asked in a panic. The portal shut quickly. "Great, now you're stuck here."
"No, trust me." Twilight went over to the portal machine and tinkered with it for a few minutes. She pushed the button and the portal opened. "There, now while you are in Equestria, time will freeze on Earth."
"What if one of my parents tried to use the machine?"
"Don't worry, I set it so it will only accept those who go through shortly after you're DNA is scanned Joe."
"Oh cool."
"Yeah, so, I'll see you later." Twilight waved to us as she went back to Equestria and the portal closed.
"So, we're back home."
"Yup." Luke said.
"I want to know, why didn't your parents do anything?" Jodi asked.
"I don't know, let's go find out."
"Oh, wait, here, I found a note." Fred said, looking at an odd paper in the stack of notes. "Dear Joe and friends, we've gone on a short vacation a couple days. I called Fred's, Luke's, and Jodi's parents and told them that they're having a sleepover here. Also, next time, don't touch our inventions please. Love you boo." Fred read.
"Well then."
Author's Note
This story is now finished. Now, go out and do some non pony things!
"I'm telling you man, it works!" I said to my best friend Fred on our way home from school.
"And I'm telling you it's a load of bull." Fred replied.
"Dude, you know how smart my parents are, and they've been working on this machine for years. They haven't touched it in a week, so the machine must work! They'd never leave a project unfinished like this."
"How many times have you said your parents made something that works and it failed?"
"I don't know, but they specifically told me NOT to touch it, so somethings up!"
"Well, maybe they just had to do some research on a part and they don't want you messing with the machine."
"I will prove it works dude, just come over to my house."
"Fine, but on one condition."
"What?"
"I can bring Luke and Jodi over so they can watch you make a fool of yourself."
These were pretty high stakes. Luke is one of the most popular guys in our class, and I have a crush on Jodi. If this does fail, my whole life could be over, but I wasn't going to let Fred win this one. "Sure, bring whoever you want. I don't care."
"Wow, you must really believe this thing works."
"Of course I do, my parents made it after all."
There was a shrill, repetitive barking from a Maltese. "Well, guess I'll see you later." Fred said.
"Yeah, just be over here in ten so I can prove I'm right."
"All right, just be ready to have your life ruined."
I waved to Fred as I stepped into my house.
"MOM!" I shouted when I walked in. "SOME FRIENDS FROM SCHOOL ARE COMING OVER SOON!"
"Ok Joe, just don't go into the basement." My mom responded.
"I know I know." I said as I dropped my backpack on the table. I wandered back into the living room and started playing video games while I waited for Fred when a little white dog wandered up. "Hey there Champ, who's a good boy?" I asked my dog. I went back to playing video games. After about ten minutes, Fred, Tom, and Jodi showed up.
"Well Joe, we're ready. Show us the machine."
"All right, follow me." I shut of my console and led my friends downstairs. I didn't worry about my mother noticing us, she was too busy sewing. "Well guys, there it is." I pointed at a small black box in the back of the room.
"That's it?" Luke asked.
"I was expecting more." Fred said.
"Yeah well my parents kind of make everything as small as possible you know." I explained.
The four of us stared at it for a few seconds.
"Well, are we going to just stand around here all day or are we going to use the thing?" Jodi asked.
"Yeah, turn it on dude, show us how much of a failure your family is." Fred said.
I'm not sure why we're even friends, Fred is just a big jerk.
"Come on man, I have to be back home for dinner." Luke said.
"Ok, everyone stand back." I reached behind the machine and felt around for the small button to switch it on, and I pushed it. An orange oval appeared in the room. "There, see? It worked, now go home guys, I should turn it off before something happens."
"Not so fast Joe. We aren't leaving until we find out if it works. As far as we know, this is all just a light show." Fred said.
God do I want to punch that guy. "Fine, you want proof it works then go ahead, step in the portal."
Fred stepped forward hesitantly. "If this is just a trick, I'm gonna make your life terrible dude." He looked at the portal again then back at me.
"Go on, quit stalling." I said.
Fred stepped into the portal. His body vanished from the room. Jodi gasped and Luke stared, astonished.
"We should go help him." Jodi said.
"Yeah, what if it put him in the middle of a war?" Luke asked.
"Guys, you gotta come see this." Fred's voice echoed.
I walked up to the portal and stepped in, doing my best to look braver than I really was. The portal was painless, though it did alter my body shape. Jodi and Luke walked in behind me.
"What the heck? Where are we?" Luke asked.
"No way." I said.
"Joe, you do know where we are right?" Fred asked.
"We're in Equestria. We were somehow transported into My Little Pony!"
"I don't believe this." Fred hated the show more than I thought was possible for any living being to hate anything, but he did know enough of it to know what I was saying. "So you're telling me, that machine your parents made put us in a show of cartoon ponies and the bane of my existence?"
"Yes, It appears so."
"Ok, well, I'm going back before something bad happens, like the portal closes."
"Why? You do know that stuff only happens in movies, tv shows, and books right?"
"Fred relax, Joe is right. I think we should stay here." Jodi said.
"Luke, what do you think we should do, stay here or go back?" Fred asked.
Luke was staring at his hooves, trying to figure out how to pick a flower.
"Luke, LUKE!" Fred slapped Luke's side.
"OW, what do you want?" Luke asked angrily.
"Do you think we should explore or go back?"
Luke looked around for a few seconds, thinking. "I don't know, I guess we should explore a bit." he eventually decided.
"Oh come on, you've gotta be kidding me!"
I looked at Fred and made sure he saw me, then I smirked. We both knew this was perfect for me.
"Ok fine, you guys go ahead and explore. I'm going back." Fred turned around and started heading back to the orange vortex. It vanished shortly before he stepped in it. He stared at the spot where it was. His pupils and iris shrunk down so you could only see the whites of his eyes.
"Aww man. Bad luck bro." Luke said, no longer occupied on picking things up. He put a hoof on Fred's back.
"So, we're stuck here? Forever?" Fred asked.
"Well, probably not forever, one of my parents is bound to figure out what happened and switch on the machine again." I replied.
"I'm going to kill you for getting us trapped here." he glared at me and started walking up to me.
"Why, you're the one who wanted to go through the portal, so it's more of your fault."
Fred stopped in his tracks and stared at me. "I should beat you right now."
"Fred, he does have a point, and when have you been such a jerk?" Jodi asked.
"Oh, he's always been like this." I said.
"Wow, really? Why are you guys friends?"
"Honestly, I have no clue."
"Guys, I think we should probably start to figure out how we get back." Luke chimed in.
"Yes, finally someone starts acting sane!" Fred shouts.
"I have to use the bathroom, like, now."
Fred face hoofed. "I'm surrounded by idiots."
Jodi and I were talking, and eating our complimentary dinner from the train. I ordered some steak, but the mares that served the food didn't know what that was, so I stuck with a salad. It was getting late by the time we finished. The sun created the illusion that it was still roughly noon though. I shut the curtains on all the windows to make it dark in the car.
"Well Jodi, I'm going to go to sleep now." I said, hopping up on the bed. I snuck over to the side that was closest to the wall in case she got tired too.
"All right, good night Joe." she said, finishing up her dinner.
"Good night." I said with a yawn. I shut my eyes and rested my head on the pillow. I could tell she finished her dinner soon after, because I felt and heard her crawl into the bed next to me. I laughed in my mind. Most of the guys I know would kill to be in this same position, pony or not. I let my mind slip into the dream scape.
***
When I woke up, I went to stretch, but stopped short of doing so. Jodi's head was resting on my chest, and her arms holding me into a very soft embrace. I never realized before, but her coat felt like, well, felt. I smiled at her slumbering form. I put my hoof behind her head and ran it through her mane a little bit, then I kissed her forehead. She stirred at this contact. She hugged me tighter and put a leg on my waist. She nuzzled her head up, she bumped my chin and this woke her up. She blinked a few times quickly then looked at me. I gave her a short, friendly smile. She panicked and shoved me away. She rolled over and stared at the rest of the car, only allowing me to see her back. I caught her blushing in the split second I could still see her.
"Jodi? Are you all right?" I asked her.
"Uhh, yup. Couldn't be better." she answered.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I just, need some alone time." She crawled out of the bed and ran over to the table. She slid into one of the booth chairs and sat there. She put a hoof to her cheek and put her elbow on the table. She absently drew pictures on the table with her other hoof. I could tell she was thinking about something, what it was, I couldn't tell. I walked over to her and kissed her cheek,
"Tell me, whats wrong?"
"I don't want to talk about it.
"You know, its always better if you talk about it right?"
"Fine. Its just, I, I like you Joe, and, like, it just happened so fast, I, I just don't know."
Author's Note
If you're wondering, this chapter is just pure boredom.
"Ok, so, we have two girls who have no clue how to be a human and are willing to learn. What are we gonna do?" Fred asked Luke as Twilight got herself dressed in the clothes they 'found' for her.
"Well, by the looks of it, it appears they have been people before." Luke said, looking at how easily twilight got dressed, blushing unwillingly at the sight.
"I don't know, I think they need some more training." Fred said, a tinge of lust in his eye.
"Aaaand, you got creepy again." Luke slapped Fred and looked back at the girls. "So, do you need anything else?"
Twilight stood up and thought for a second and looked at Fluttershy who shrugged. "Nope, we're good."
"All right then. Fred, you go somewhere else, please." Luke said after seeing the way Fred was staring at Fluttershy.
"Aww, why?"
"Because you're just plain creepy man, so leave or quit being yourself."
"All right." Fred turned around and headed for the stairs. He stopped just before them and looked back.
"Go on."
"Aww." Fred went up the stairs and left the house.
"Well then. You girls stay down here while I try to recreate the portal that took us to Ponyville."
"Ok." Fluttershy said. She went over to the wall and looked at the array of board games that Joe's family owned. "Hey Twilight, want to play a game while Luke does his thing?"
"Sure." Twilight came over to Fluttershy and stood beside her. "Let's play this one, it looks fun, and it teaches manners too! Fun!" Twilight said, taking down the box for 'sorry'.
"Ok." Fluttershy said. They set up the game and played it.
Luke inspected the black box that Joe used before the portal appeared the first time. He picked it up and looked at it in the light. "What is your secret?" he asked it, as if that would help. He turned it around in his hands, a red button was on the back. "Ah ha!" He pushed it and waited a couple seconds. Nothing happened. "Hmm." He turned it around more. The only thing he found that could activate it was the button. "Maybe you have to hold it?" He held the button for a few seconds, nothing happened. "The notes!" He exclaimed. Luke ran over to the notes that Joe's parents left on the nearby desk and looked through them for an answer.
"You got it yet Luke?" Twilight asked him.
"No, but I think the answer is in here somewhere." Luke said after setting a few papers aside.
Twilight walked up to him and looked at the clutter of paper. "Oh, I can help!" Twilight said as she took a bunch of the papers and started looking through them.
"This is going to take a while."
"So Fluttershy, what uhh, can I do?" Fred asked.
"Just sit there and tell me when they're coming." Fluttershy said.
"All right."
"Here." Fluttershy pulled out a shotgun looking object and threw it to Fred.
"Woah, why do you have a shotgun? I thought you were some sort of animal rights activist."
"It's not a shotgun. It's a flaregun."
"Then why does it have two barrels?" Fred asked as he held it and looked down the sights.
"Because it gets jammed a lot, so they added a second barrel to double the success rate of a flare going off."
"Oh, I see." Fred found that it had a strap and he slung it over his back. "And we're bringing it because?"
"There are several deadly creatures in the Everfree. A manticore is far too powerful for any pony to kill. Very few who have even seen it lived to tell the tale. It's a powerful hunter. We'll need the flaregun to get attention from the others if we get separated and the manticore attacks."
"Ok. That makes me feel so much better about what we're about to do."
"Don't worry, there's only one manticore known to live in Equestria, and it's a male, so don't worry about it being pregnant."
"Well, that makes me feel a little better."
"You do know what a manticore is right?"
"Yeah, it's like half lion, half scorpion, half bat, 150% awesome or something right?"
"Sure." Fluttershy rolled her eyes as she continued to get supplies for the trip. She filled a few saddlebags with food and water. A day or two worth each. "Here." she tossed a saddle bag over to Fred. "In case we get separated and the flaregun fails. It should last you long enough to at least get out if need be."
"Thanks." Fred said as he awkwardly put it around his waist. "Hey, I think I see them coming." he said when he glanced out the window.
Fluttershy walked over and looked out the window. She saw her friends coming and bolted to her room. She came back a minute later, a rifle slung over her back and a saddlebag on her waist.
"Ok, I know that one isn't a flaregun."
"It isn't. It's an honest to Celestia sniper rifle."
"So we do have a violent side eh?"
"This is only if bad comes to worse." Fluttershy grabbed the other saddlebags and went to the door. She opened it quietly then glared at Fred. "And you don't know the beginning of my violent side." She left the cottage and greeted her friends. Fred followed because he didn't know what to do. "Hey Twilight, Jodi, Luke, and Joe. I got stuff for our trip to the Everfree." she said as she tossed a saddlebag to each pony.
"Why do you have a rifle?" Joe asked.
***
"All right, so is every pony ready?" I asked.
"Yup." The others said simultaneously.
"So, lets go!" I said as I turned from my friends and cautiously entered the dense forest.
