Waiting

by thatfimficwriter

Rating: teen
Tags: Tragedy, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Princess Luna
Length: 7130

Celestia has not felt this way about another pony for a long time, but is she ready to open herself for something new?

Celestia has spent a millennium keeping her emotions to herself in favour of a tight rule over Equestria.

Now that there are stirrings in her heart, is she willing to open it?

Published 2013-09-14 06:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-14 06:30:01 UTC

Waiting

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

It feels odd to be writing you a letter—I never thought I would find myself in this position. Although we have known each other for a long time, I believe there is still a lot that you don’t know about me. There is a lot about my past that is hard for me to share with anyone. How could you know me? I have tried my best to keep everything hidden from the world so as not to upset anyone. Who am I kidding? I do it because I don’t think anyone would understand why I have done the things I have done. I know this probably is not fair, I know almost everything about you, but I think you understand the reasons why I keep things about my past to myself.

I have been wanting to write this letter to you for a specific reason, but first I would like to let you know a little about me. I have been around for a long time, Twilight, and have seen a great many things. I have done many things which would make even the most stalwart of ponies sick to their stomachs, and would do most of them again for the good of Equestria. Most ponies wouldn’t understand, but I think you might.

I have managed to teach you from my own mistakes, without forcing you to go through the same lessons I have had to. Instilling in you the magic of friendship was one of the greatest things I have achieved in my extended life, and I have been so proud of you ever since you became the leader of the Elements of Harmony.

I spent the longest time teaching you, and getting to know you, that I was so involved in my plan I did not realise how much I had started to care for you. When you decided to stay in Ponyville I was overjoyed, but also saddened. I had come to rely on your council and, dare I say, your friendship. I know what we shared as you grew up was more of a mentor/student relationship, but I like to believe that we became more than that over time.

This brings me to the real reason I am writing you this letter. The mere thought of receiving a letter from you brings me untold joy. The knowledge of a visit between us gets my blood racing in ways I have not experienced in centuries. Your defeat of Discord three weeks ago cemented it in stone. I have come to realise the feelings that I have been hiding for a very long time. I believe I am in love with you, Twilight. At least, I think I am, if this is what love feels like. I can’t be certain as it is not an emotion I have felt for somepony else, but I know that every time I think of you I find it hard to think of something else.

I have many friends, I know what friendship is, you yourself have even helped me come to understand it even more. What I mean to say is, I know what I feel for you goes beyond that. I wish I could tell you this to your face but, to be honest, I am scared. If I tell you how I feel our relationship will change. While I hope it would be for the better, I am fearful that it would be for the worse. I know that keeping things bottled up is not healthy, but if the alternative is losing what we have now then I would never be able to forgive myself.

I am not trying to put pressure on you, I apologize in advance if I am, I just wish to express my feelings as plainly as possible. I care for you, Twilight, and I hope that there is a chance you may feel the same way about me too. Please if you could let me know, however you think is best, what your feelings are. I would be very appreciative.

Yours Faithfully,

Princess Celestia

Celestia let the quill fall to the desk as she lifted the letter in her magic. Her eyes ran back and forth over the page as she read again what she had written. After the fifth time through she sighed and pulled her eyes from the page. Walking over to her bedside table she pulled it open and lifted out the books she had stored there. After placing the letter on the bottom, careful not to fold it, she replaced the books.

There was a time for that letter to be sent, but today was not it. Twilight was her student and still had much to learn. She was not going to deprive the unicorn of her magical education just to please herself. No, Celestia had been waiting for a very long time—she could afford to wait a while longer.

Twilight left the throne room. Celestia sighed as she watched her student go. After everything that had happened at the wedding, she was surprised Twilight had been so forgiving of everyone. Celestia had been so blinded by wanting Cadence’s wedding to be a joyous occasion, that she didn’t even attempt to listen to her student. She was supposed to be there for Twilight. Her mentor and guide. Then, at the most vital time, she had let her down.

Celestia smiled. It hadn’t mattered though. Twilight had already forgiven everyone for their doubts. She was a much more caring pony than anyone the princess had met before. Once Twilight had discovered friendship, it had solidified her. Before then she was an exceptional pony. Now she was an amazing one.

Still upset with herself for her behaviour, but also unable to keep the happiness rise at seeing her student grow even more, she walked toward the kitchen to retrieve some food from the stores. There were servants aplenty who would have jumped at the chance to serve their princess, but sometimes it felt good to do things for yourself. Being waited on mouth and hoof was a perk, but also sometimes a bit of a nuisance.

Celesta clucked her tongue in disappointment at herself. There were ponies in the world who were dying from starvation, and here she was complaining about being given everything a pony could desire. With a shake of her head she banished the thoughts and instead tried to be grateful for the things she had.

Reaching the kitchen she nodded to Pastry, the head chef, who nodded in return. Her trips were often enough to not warrant any special attention so the chef went back to his duties. That was one of the things she loved most about the stallion. His ability to treat her like anypony else. Well, maybe his quiche too.

As Celestia floated the fruit and nuts in front of her, she thought more about her treatment. She longed for someone she could confide in with everything that ran through her head, but it was just not on the cards for her. She had an image to maintain. Celestial being and leader of unmatched strength. There was never a pony who she could let her guard down around. No pony who had been through what she had been through.

Well, there was one: Luna. But Luna is not who she once was. Before she was taken by the nightmare, the two had been equals. They had protected and ruled Equestria as sisters should—side by side. Since Luna’s return though, the Princess of the Night had been a lot more reclusive than Celestia had thought she would be. She had been looking forward to the companionship that she had lost for a thousand years and was, so far, disappointed.

Celestia shook her head once more to banish the uncharitable thoughts. A period of instability was to be expected after a thousand year banishment to the moon. A few months after her return, Celestia had tried to broach the subject with her sister, but had been shut down. Luna had said she would find Celestia when she was ready to talk of her exile, but she would not speak of it until that point. She knew that Luna did not blame her for what she had done, even going as far as to thank her for it, but it was still a sensitive topic.

It had been Twilight who had managed to break through Luna’s walls where Celestia herself could not. The acceptance and friendship that had been shown to Luna was one of the biggest driving forces in her recovery. After her Nightmare Night in Ponyville, Luna had returned to the castle a new mare. The change had been welcome, and everyone in the castle was much happier with Luna and her new attitude. Also, it meant her servants did not have to wear earplugs when serving her any more.

It was two days after her return that Luna had come to speak with Celestia before she was to turn in for the night. Luna had decided it was time to confide in her sister. She learned that her sister had all of her memories of being the Nightmare intact. She talked of how it felt like a dream that was vivid and that she could not control. The two had talked for hours. They wept, they laughed, they screamed at each other, they held each other. It was that night that her sister had returned to her. And it was all thanks to Twilight.

Her student had once again done what Celestia herself could not. She had taken something Celestia considered irreparable, and had mended it as easy as breathing. Just spending a little time with her student had changed Luna’s world. Celestia sighed as she once again marvelled at the compassion and love her student could show. It had been Celestia’s plan for Twilight to become the element of magic, but it was a surprise to her how her student had come to embody all that the Elements of Harmony represented.

Celestia sat up from her bed, food long since eaten, and turned to her bedside table. She opened the drawer and removed the object she had seldom looked at since placing it there. The letter floated in front of her as she read it again. The time was not right yet. Soon, maybe, but not yet. She would wait.

“Sister.”

Celestia looked up from her desk in the office behind the throne room and saw Luna standing in the doorway.

“May I come in?” Luna asked.

“Of course, Sister,” Celestia said with a smile. “Although I must admit I am surprised to see you. You are not normally up this early in the evening.”

Luna smiled and nodded at her sister. “I had some important business I needed to discuss with you, and I know the evening is the best time to find you alone. Am I interrupting?”

Celestia looked down at the mountain of paperwork on her desk. No matter how many positions she created for delegates, she seemed to be unable to curb the work that she was required to do personally. So many things needed her very own signature of approval, and she would be damned if she didn’t read everything before putting her hoof print onto it. There was a reason she was a ruler after all.

This was why she now found herself reading through the treatise on the relocation of the termite population close enough to the Whitetail Woods to be considered a risk. She gathered the page she had been reading on the mating habits of white headed termites, and stuffed it back into the pile.

“Not at all,” Celestia said. “I would love the distraction right now. Tea?”

Luna nodded her assent, and two cups floated from the cupboard Celestia kept for her refreshments in the back of the room. A quick burst of magic from her horn set the teapot on the tray steaming.

“I hope reheated is alright,” Celestia said. “I’m afraid it’s been sitting for a few hours. If you would like I can get the servants to get us a fresh pot?”

“No, Sister, do not trouble them,” Luna said, taking the pot in her own magic and pouring the liquid into the cups. After a sip and a satisfied sounding sigh, her sister leant forward. “I came to discuss your attitude as of late.”

“My… attitude?” Celestia said. She frowned in confusion and narrowed her eyes. “I don’t understand—have there been complaints?”

“No, no, of course not,” Luna said, waving a hoof. “It is my own observations. After what happened with King Sombra last month in the Crystal Empire, you have been very distant. I know you were worried for Twilight. You have put a lot of faith in the young mare—faith which I might add seems well placed. She has taken everything you have given her and succeeded beyond any of our wildest dreams. I know I had my doubts, but after her sacrifice to do the right thing I am convinced. I know what you see in her, Sister, I can see it too.”

Luna took another sip of tea. “She is on the path that you yourself set for her, and is progressing well. So I must know, Celestia, what is it of Twilight Sparkle that has you so depressed?”

Celestia had thought herself more able to mask her expressions. That was one of the drawbacks to having her sister back—although she now had someone to talk to, she also had someone who she couldn’t hide everything from. It was something Celestia had come to take for granted in her millennia of solitary rule. She frowned as she considered how to respond.

“I am afraid that she will fail. It took us a very long time to find Cadence, and to think that it may happen again in such a short period? I am worried, Sister.”

Luna reached over the desk and hold out a hoof. Celestia smiled and lifted her own and the two met. Luna smiled at her sister as she held her hoof.

“Bullshit.”

Celestia’s mouth hung open. “W-What?”

“Complete bullshit, Sister,” Luna said, not once losing her smile. “I know you, and I know that something more is troubling you than a simple ascension. Okay, simple is the wrong word, but it is also not what is really troubling you,” she added, noting the expression on Celestia’s face. “So tell me the truth this time. What is bothering you?”

Celestia sighed and considered telling her sister everything. After a few minutes contemplation, she looked up into Luna’s eyes and saw nothing there but compassion and acceptance. With a swallow, Celestia came to her decision.

She wanted her sister back, and it went both ways.

She started talking and soon could not stop. Everything she had been feeling was laid out on the table for Luna. She spoke of everything, even of how Twilight had changed Luna herself, until her throat hurt from the exertion. Halfway through the conversation the sisters had risen to the window and performed their twice daily ritual. It was well into the night by the time Celestia had finished.

Luna sat still in consideration. She had not interrupted her sister once. The few times she had spoken had only been for clarification of points and showing compassion. Luna leaned forward and put the elbows of her forehooves on the table. Clasping her hooves over Celestia’s the two mares stared into one anothers eyes.

“You must tell her,” Luna said at last.

“I can’t,” Celestia said, looking away. “It could ruin everything.”

“Or it might not,” Luna said. “And even if it did, you cannot live the rest of your life like this, without her knowing how you really feel. I understand your trepidation, Sister, but if you do not tell her, I believe you will regret it for the rest of your very long life.”

Celestia sighed and nodded. “I know,” she said. “You’re right. But I will not do it now.” Luna opened her mouth to speak but Celestia interrupted her. “Don’t get me wrong. I intend to tell her, but with the ascension there is already enough pressure without adding that to the mix. I promise, Sister, when she is ready, I will tell her.”

Luna squinted as she looked into Celestia’s eyes. “I am going to trust you,” she said, “but do not think I don’t see your own fear in this. You do not hold off from telling her for her own sake entirely. You fear the outcome.”

“Of course I do!” Celestia said, dropping her sister’s hooves. “What if she doesn’t like me?” Celestia sighed and looked out the window at the night sky. “Listen to me, four thousand years old and I sound like a schoolfilly.”

Luna smiled. “When it comes to matters of the heart, reason rarely enters the equation, Sister.” With that she rose and walked to the door. Turning back, she added, “But remember, Celestia, I’ll be making sure you follow through on this promise.”

The door closed with a click.

Celestia grimaced as Luna entered her chambers. She had been dreading this confrontation for days, and it looked like her sister had finally gotten the courage to say something.

“The time has come, Sister,” Luna said.

Placing the quill she was holding back to the desk, Celestia sighed and stood. “Tea?” she asked. Luna ignored her.

“You made a promise,” Luna said. “To me.”

“It is not that simple, Luna,” Celestia said.

“Why?” Luna asked.

“Picture yourself from her position for a moment,” Celestia said. “She has been through an emotional and physical roller coaster, and on top of that is learning of her new duties of a princess. There is no way I am going to add to that level of stress by dropping my own emotions onto her back.”

Luna snorted. “You. Promised. Me.”

“I know, Lulu, and I’m sorry I have to break that promise,” Celestia said, reaching a hoof for her sister’s face. “But sometimes we have to make sacrifices for others.”

Luna turned her face away, causing Celestia’s hoof to fall. “Don’t pretend this is not about you.”

“It’s not. Not this time,” Celestia said. “I admit that in the past I have been selfish, but I honestly believe that Twilight needs time to adjust before I burden her more. Please, Lulu, I'm not doing this to hurt anypony. I only ask you for some more time. Besides, with her ascension, Twilight will live for a lot longer now. It is not as if we are short on time.”

“We don’t know that for sure.” Luna sighed and looked back to her sister. “The worst part is that I believe you. I want to be angry with you, but putting this on Twilight now would not be a kindness,” she said. “But make no mistake, Sister, you must tell her. You cannot keep living as you are now. You don’t let it show very often, but I can see the toll the stress of keeping this secret is taking on you. I cannot bear to see you weather it.”

“I know,” Celestia said. “And, when the time is right, I will tell her. I must admit that I have trouble with it sometimes, but having you to talk to is a great help. Thank you for being there for me, Sister.”

Luna sighed and walked over to Celestia. She nuzzled the larger alicorns neck and pulled her into a hug. “I will always be there for you, Tia. After everything we’ve been through I will never again leave your side.”

“I know,” Celestia said with a smile. “I know.”

Celestia tore through the castle as fast as her legs could carry her. She cursed herself for putting up the anti-teleportation fields after Cadence’s wedding. She could have left a minute ago if they weren’t there. She leapt down a flight of stairs, flaring her wings to glide down to the floor, before putting on another burst of speed.

At last she saw the throne room door and, not slowing in the slightest, threw them open with her magic. The thick double doors slammed into the walls behind them, causing everyone in the room to jump in shock.

Luna’s court was in full session as she ran through the throngs of ponies who had come to see the Princess of the Night.

“What is the matter, Sister?” Luna said, all her royal duties forgotten in an instant.

Celestia ran to the corner of the room. The area was where the princesses had set aside as a hole in the teleportation fields. They were setup to allow teleportation out, but not in, from this small point in the castle. It was set as an emergency evacuation point for the princesses, should anything attack the castle and the need to flee arise. It seemed like the best place for it at the time, but Celestia decided right then that she would have points installed within their rooms also.

As she reached the point, she turned for a moment to look into her sister’s eyes.

“Twilight,” she said, before winking out of existence.

She reappeared outside of the Ponyville hospital. Running inside she produced much the same reaction as she just not ten seconds earlier in the throne room.

“Where is she?” she demanded of the receptionist behind the counter.

“S-She’s in surgery,” the pony said, fear plastered across her face. “B-But you c-can't go in.”

Celestia looked over to a map of the hospital and found the area marked for surgical procedures. Without another glance at any pony in the room she turned and fled toward her student. Twisting and turning through the maze of hallways, she ran past various open doors and hospital staff. A small section of her mind wondered what seeing their princess in this state would do to the ponies, but she didn’t care enough to slow. After what felt like much too long, she came to the surgery rooms. A yellow unicorn mare sitting on a chair behind a pane of glass had her head down, so she had not noticed her matriarch standing in front of her yet.

“Which room is Twilight Sparkle in,” Celestia said.

“Just a minute, darling,” the pony said, quill held aloft in front of her as she filled out more paperwork.

“I need to know now,” Celestia said, trying to keep her voice even.

“Look, she is in surgery right now anyway, so unless you are a—” the mare stopped mid-sentence as she looked up. The colour left her face and she swallowed audibly. “Operating theatre three.” A door down the hall slid open with magic and the princess was away again.

She arrived to a nightmare. Twilight was on an operating table in the middle of the room. Her chest was open and peeled back as the doctors worked to keep her alive. Celestia stood, unable to move, her vision receding into the back of her head. The room started shaking and one of the doctors turned to look at her. He screamed something at the nurse next to him, but she couldn’t hear him. It was like there was no sound in the world. The nurse ran up and took Celestia by the hoof, leading her out of the room. Celestia wanted to stop her but she had no control over her body, and soon found herself seated in the waiting room outside.

The nurse left to return to the theatre, leaving Celestia frozen in place. She sat for what felt like hours, but could only have been minutes, before the door in front of her slid open. Spike walked through with his arms full of vending machine snacks. Upon seeing the princess he dropped the food and rushed up to her.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Celestia was shocked to learn that sound had returned. It jarred her into the world once more and she realised she was shaking. After taking a few deep breaths to calm her heart rate, she looked up at the dragon.

“No,” she said. “What happened.”

Spike sighed and began his explanation. A threat of some kind had come to Ponyville, he wasn’t sure exactly what, and Twilight had collected the other bearers before leaving. He had been waiting for a few hours when Twilight appeared in a flash in the middle of the library. She was bleeding from multiple wounds and didn’t appear to be breathing. Spike rushed her to the hospital where she was taken immediately for surgery. He had been put into the waiting room when he sent the letter that Celestia had received earlier.

“What of the other bearers?” she asked when he was finished.

“I don’t know. I came straight here with Twilight, then sent you the letter. The only time I stepped out was the get some food,” he said, grimacing. “I eat when I’m worried.”

Celestia nodded at the dragon. “I went in to the surgical room,” she said.

“Y-You saw her?” Spike said with a gasp.

Celestia nodded, but didn’t elaborate and he didn’t press her. If her state when Spike had entered was anything to go by, he didn’t want to know. After a few hours of waiting, the doors in front of them opened and the doctor Celestia had seen earlier walked through. He was a large brown stallion with the cutie mark of a scalpel. Celestia stood and Spike soon followed.

“Princess, I am Doctor Tape,” he said. “First, I must apologise for having you thrown out of my theatre. I barely registered who I was ordering away until you left the room.”

“No, doctor,” Celestia said. “You acted appropriately. It was I who was in the wrong. I apologise for interfering with your procedure.”

The doctor nodded his thanks. “Now, as for miss Twilight. When young Spike brought her in she was in quite bad shape. A collapsed lung, ruptured spleen, and multiple lacerations to her body. We managed to get her into the OR fast enough to save her, but her breathing will be troubled for a while yet. She is out of the woods for now, but we will be keeping her under tight observation for the next few days. She is currently being moved to the ICU wing, you should be able to see her once she has been settled in.”

“Thank you, Doctor. For everything,” Celestia said. The doctor nodded his head and left the room. “Spike,” Celestia said, turning to the small dragon. “Is it possible for you to send a letter to my sister?”

“Maybe,” Spike said with a frown. “I’ve been around her enough to know her signature, but I’ve never tried.”

“That is okay, just try your best,” Celestia said. She went to the nearby nurses station and retrieved a quill and some parchment.

Luna,

I am sorry to have scared you like I did today. I received correspondence from Spike that Twilight was injured and could not think of anything else but getting to her. She was hurt in some kind of attack and has been in surgery for the past few hours. While she is safe for now, we do not know what has become of the other element bearers.

I’m sorry to ask you this, Sister, but can I get you to find them for me? I would go myself, but I do not wish to leave Twilight. We are at the Ponyville hospital.

Celestia

In a breath of fire, Spike sent the letter to the princess in Canterlot. They were halfway to the intensive care unit when the reply came.

Celestia,

I understand completely. Do what you must. I will find the others and come to you as soon as I can.

Luna

Arriving at the ICU they were directed to Twilight’s room. If it weren’t for tubes running from her legs she would have looked almost peaceful. They sat by her bedside for a few hours, trying not to be a bother to the nurses who checked on the unicorn regularly.

After another hour, Spike fell asleep. It was the middle of the night and the dragon had been awake for a lot longer than usual. Celestia conjured a small bed for him to sleep in and floated him into it. Once he was comfortable she turned to look at Twilight again.

“I’m so sorry,” Celestia said. “I know you can’t hear me, but I want you to know that I am sorry.” She sighed and looked to the door, ensuring it was shut. “You would never be in these situations if it weren’t for me. Everything that has happened to you is my fault. I just can’t leave well enough alone, can I? Always have to plan and scheme.”

Celestia sighed and looked up at the monitors above Twilight bed. “Truthfully, when you get to be as old as I am, that is pretty much all you have left. I love each and every one of my subjects, but I have not let one into my heart for a very long time. It is easy to lose touch of what it is to have other ponies around you when they are constantly dying. It’s easier just to distance yourself from them.

“Luna was never like me. She loved each and every pony who came into her life. I think that may be why she turned the way she did. After losing that love she grew bitter. Once she was banished and I had no-one, I decided to cut myself off from the emotions of other ponies.

“I can’t really argue with the results now, can I? We have lived in an age of peace for a millennium. The only problem is what it has turned me into. I don’t see ponies anymore, Twilight, I see only pieces on a board to be moved. Well, until you that is,” she said, looking back at Twilight's face.

“You have changed me, Twilight,” Celestia said, tears pooling in her eyes. “You started as a pawn, but you grew into so much more. You showed me what it means to be a pony again. You taught me how to live, and how to love. Your friendship and compassion have given this world so much, but you have given me so much more. You have given me… hope.”

Celestia stood. “You have given me hope for a better life. One without plots and plans and schemes. One where I can truly feel happiness again.” Celestia sighed and sat once more. “Thank you, Twilight, for everything. I am sorry it has taken me so long to say all of this. I promise I will tell you everything when you wake. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I want to be happy. I know there is a chance you will not feel the same way, but it is a risk I am willing to take.”

“Ugh…”

Celestia jumped as Twilight moved. The unicorns head slid to the side as her eyes tried to open. Celestia’s insides lit up in a chorus as she saw her student waking. A grin flew onto her face that threatened to split her cheeks.

“Ra…” Twilight said.

“Yes, Twilight, I am here for you,” Celestia said, leaning forward.

“Rainbow.”

“I’m here, Twi,” Rainbow Dash said from the doorway, rushing into the room to grab Twilight’s hooves. Rainbow was shaking as she leant forward and planted kisses on Twilight’s muzzle. “I thought I’d lost you.”

“I’m here, Rainbow, I’m okay,” Twilight said, a small smile gracing her weary face.

Celestia turned and saw the rest of the bearers entering the room. They all rushed forward to comfort Twilight, so Celestia took a few steps back to make some room. They hadn’t noticed the tears streaming down her face.

Luna entered last, and upon seeing Celestia’s face was filled with dread. She turned to look at the bed and saw Twilight awake and was momentarily confused, before Rainbow leant forward and gave the injured pony another kiss. Her stomach dropped out from her as she turned to look at Celestia. Her sister was no longer crying and looked toward the couple with her mouth in a line.

“I am glad you girls are alright,” Celestia said. “Now that Twilight is awake I will leave you girls to her recovery. Please, make sure she gets enough rest.”

“Princess,” Twilight said from her position on the bed. “Thank you for being here for me.”

Celestia nodded and left the room, Luna following closely behind.

“Tia, wait,” Luna said.

“No, Lulu,” she said. “I have done enough waiting. I waited too long and missed my chance. I would like for you to let me know what happened to them, the full story, but for now I would please like to be alone.”

Luna watched as her sister winked out of existence for the second time that day. As she stared at the spot her sister had just vacated, she felt a tear roll down her cheek.

“I’m so sorry, Sister,” she said, before turning back to the room with her injured friend.

Celestia stood with Twilight as they lowered the pegasus into the ground. Tears were streaming down her student’s face as her wife was put to rest. Celestia wrapped a wing around the younger alicorn as Twilight cried into her neck. Rainbow had lived her life longer than all the other bearers, but there was only so long a normal pony could last before the ravages of time took their toll.

“I am sorry, Twilight,” Celestia said. “I feel as if this is all my fault.”

“I’m not in the mood to have this discussion again, Celestia,” Twilight said. “I made my choice to be what I am. I know the consequences. I’ll not have you blaming yourself again. There is no point.”

Celestia inclined her head. “You are right. I should not have brought it up. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Twilight said. “I’m just glad you’re here for me.”

Celestia wrapped a hoof around the neck of her friend. Over the years their relationship had changed from what it once was into solid friends. Celestia had come to count on Twilight in her times of need as much as she did with Luna. She had been resentful of Rainbow Dash at first, but when she saw what joy it brought to Twilight, she soon came to accept the pair. As the procession began to wrap up and ponies started leaving, Twilight pulled away from the princess.

“I will join her soon enough,” she said. They had determined after a while that Cadence and Twilight were not immortal like the sisters were. Although the aging process was slowed, Twilight still looked more middle-aged than anything now. She was over half her life expectancy, but this was still longer than a normal pony. Twilight had received the worst of both worlds—she would die, but only after seeing everyone she cared about die first.

At Applejacks death it had struck home for her, how she would have to go through this time and time again. She had been inconsolable for weeks, only the combined efforts of Celestia and Rainbow had brought her back out. Since then, although saddened, she had handled the rest of her friends deaths with a lot more strength. Rainbow was the last, and most important, of her friends to be buried.

“Will you be okay?” Celestia asked, regretting the question the moment it left her mouth. Twilight smiled up at her.

“No,” she said, “but yes.”

Celestia nodded at the alicorn and said no more. They stood there for a time before Twilight turned to leave. Upon noticing that Celestia was not following her, she turned to throw her a questioning glance.

“You go on ahead, I need some time alone,” she said.

Twilight frowned, but shrugged and continued walking. Celestia turned and looked into the coffin at the bottom of the open grave.

“Thank you, Rainbow Dash, for making her life happier for a time.”

She kicked some dirt into the pit and walked to catch up with Twilight.

Celestia sat on her throne as the news was delivered to her. After everything else, it just wasn’t fair. She wanted to scream. She wanted to throw something across the room. She wanted to tear down a mountain. Instead she thanked the messenger, who left the princess’s alone in the great room with their guards.

“Tia,” Luna said. “I’m sorry.”

Celestia turned to her sister. The two had started taking court as a duo a few years prior. Starting in the afternoon and ending a few hours before midnight, it gave the sisters some much needed time together that their usual schedules never permitted.

“It’s not fair,” Celestia said. “After everything she has been through, this is how it ends? We only put Rainbow in the ground two years ago. How is this fair?”

“It isn’t,” Luna said, “but it is life.”

Celestia scoffed. “If it is life, then why do we not get to experience it?”

Luna sighed. “Listen, why don’t you go visit her. I can take care of the court for the rest of the night. Please, take the time to go see her again.”

“No,” Celestia said. “You’ve been to that place, you know what it is like. She is barely awake as it is and now… now I don’t know if I can stomach to enter the room.”

“This is not about you,” Luna said. “This is about her. She needs a friend and you are her oldest. Please, Celestia, I know how hard this is for you, after everything, but you need to be strong for her.”

Celestia sighed. “You’re right of course. As usual.”

She stood from her position and walked to the corner of the room, teleporting herself to the cancer ward in the Canterlot hospital. She made her way passed the familiar rooms and faces to Twilight’s room, pausing to take a breath before entering.

As she entered she was surprised to see Twilight’s eyes open. The mare was supposed to be middle aged, but looked skeletal. Her fur was tinged a pale yellow and her breaths came with a raspy croak. There were various IV lines running from her legs, but she was no longer using the oxygen mask that now sat limply by the side of the bed.

Upon seeing Celestia her eyes lit up. She made to talk, but instead was overtaken with a coughing fit. Celestia rushed over to the bed and held up a cloth for Twilight. Once she was finished, Celestia put the cloth into the sink on the side of the room. She tried to ignore the flecks of red decorating it.

“How do you feel?” Celestia asked.

“I’m dying,” Twilight said with a wry grin. “How do you think?”

Celestia smiled and held her friends hoof. “Are you comfortable?” she asked.

Twilight nodded. “The staff here have been wonderful,” she said.

Celestia nodded and the two sat in silence for a while.

“Thank you, Princess,” Twilight said.

Celestia frowned. “What for?”

“For my life,” Twilight said. “I wouldn’t trade anything in it for the world. Thank you for making my time on this planet everything it could be.”

Celestia shook her head. “That was all you, Twilight,” she said. “I was just along for the ride. You have done more for my sister and I than you will ever know. I should be thanking you. I am over four thousand years old, Twilight, and this last century has been my favourite yet.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “Wow, I knew you were old, but I didn’t know you were that old,” she said, smiling.

“Yes, I never did tell you the story of where my sister and I came from, did I? I know you certainly bugged me about it enough.”

“Tell me now,” Twilight said, closing her eyes.

Celestia began her tale. She was not sure at which point Twilight’s life fled, but hoped that she got to hear the story to the end.

Celestia sat on the bed in Twilight’s room. She knew she could have the servants clean it out, but she wanted to feel like she was with her former student one last time. As she went through Twilight’s things she discovered many objects. Reminders of old times, of ponies, of places. Try as she might she could not stop a tears that streamed from her eyes as she went through the room.

She was about to leave when she opened a drawer. In it was a pile of books. Taking them out and putting them into one of the boxes on the floor, she noticed a letter at the bottom of the drawer. Taking it in her magic, she lifted it up and began to read.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I have written you many letters in my life, yet it feels as if putting these words to parchment is the hardest thing I have ever done. You took me in at a young age and taught me everything I know about life. It wasn’t until you sent me to Ponyville that I truly understood what it meant to be alive. There is a difference between living and existing, and I know that now.

Living is sharing experiences with those that you care about. I have many friends and I know what friendship is, but it wasn’t until I left Canterlot that I realised that I felt more for you. You have been my mentor and my friend for so long, but I have been wanting to tell you for a while now that I think there is something else there.

I am in love with you, Princess. I know it is foolish. You are my teacher and you will be unlikely to ever see me as more, but I cannot change the way that I feel. I know that I overreact sometimes when you come to visit, but I now realise that it wasn’t a want to impress you, as much as it was a want for you to be happy. I would do anything to make you happy, Princess.

I hope that one day I find the courage to send this letter, but until then I will be happy just trying to make you happy. I know you hide a lot of pain under your facade and I hope one day that I, or some other pony, can break through it to see the real you.

Yours faithfully,

Twilight Sparkle