Look Before You Sleep Celestia
by A Mere Lurker
Edited by Keyframe & Eights
Luna stood on the balcony of her bedroom in the royal palace. She loved her room. Then again, she would love anything that had walls and something soft to lie down on. The moon wasn’t exactly a comfortable place to get some shuteye, after all.
It was a warm evening in the early summer, and from her balcony she could see that the lights in Celestia’s room next door were still on.
“She’s probably working, still used to handling all the state’s affairs,” Luna thought to herself as she smiled devilishly. “But she won’t be for much longer.”
As she trotted towards the door of her bedroom, she decided that it was time to put her carefully laid plans to action.
She opened the door and turned to her guards.
“Guards?”
“Yes, your highness?” they responded in carefully trained unison.
“It is time. Execute order 41!” Luna said with a diabolical grin.
“Are you sure Miss Luna? I mean…isn’t it too soon?” one of the guards asked, while the other was looking as unsure as the former sounded.
“We have prepared enough, it has to be tonight. Now go and get the others before you take out the guards at her door. Report back to me after you have disposed of them.”
“Yes, Princess,” they replied, again in perfect unison, before hastily departing to alert their accomplices.
Luna stepped back into her room. She could feel her heart beginning to race in nervous excitement.
“Tonight is the night. I have been putting this off for far too long.” she thought, grinning at her reflection in the mirror.
She began to pull several of the drawers out of her vanity, collecting the items from them and putting them on her bed. She procured a small saddlebag from underneath the bed itself and sat it on the edge."
“Yes! This will have her begging for mercy.” she giggled under her breath, as she picked some of the items up off her bed and let them pass through her hooves, before unceremoniously stuffing them into the bag.
A gentle knock on the door broke her from her daydream.
“Good, they wasted no time.” she thought, as she dropped the last of her items in the bag before magically placing it on her back. Her stomach rose to her throat and her breathing intensified. “It is time.”
She opened her door and was greeted by the sight of almost a dozen of her most loyal guards.
“The guards have been disposed of; we are awaiting command, your Highness.”
“Good, good, well done. Let us go then.”
And so, late in the evening, the Princess of the Night and the group of guards surrounding her quietly tiptoed to Celestia’s chambers. It wasn’t even a hundred yards away, but to Luna it seemed like the longest distance she had ever travelled.
Finally, they arrived at the big wooden door of Celestia’s bedroom. The lights inside were still on.
Okay, as soon as we open the door," she whispered to her entourage, "you will jump on her and hold her down before she notices anything is wrong. When you do, I will place this on her horn so she can’t fight back. Once that is in place, you tie her hooves to the bedposts. Then I will go about my business with her. Is everything clear?”
All the guards softly murmured their confirmations and readied themselves to burst into the room as the commander of the assembled force put his shaking hoof on the doorknob. He gulped and turned it as gently as possible so it wouldn’t make any noise. He looked back at his princess, a questioning, almost pleading look. Luna felt her heart beat within her throat. “Here goes nothing.” she thought, and gave a nod.
Celestia was busy reading some official documents when she noticed how late it had become. She was just about to go to bed when a puff of green smoke materialized into a scroll before her.
“A letter from Twilight Sparkle at this hour? This should be interesting.”
She carefully unrolled the scroll and began to read it while trotting to her bed.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Tonight I learned a very important lesson about friendship, and that you should not assume that when
a mare is athletic and not interested in...
-BOOOMM!!!!!
Celestia jumped as the door to her room burst open and almost a dozen guards leaped at her.
“What the hay?!” she exclaimed in a rather unregal fashion as the guards got hold of her legs. Then she saw Luna walking up to her, levitating some sort of thick metal cone towards her face.
“Luna! What do you think you’re doing!!?” Celestia shouted at her younger sister.
“No! What is that?!! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!” she screamed as she squirmed against the guards’ iron grip.
When Luna finally placed the object on her sister’s horn, she gave a deep sigh of relief.
“There! Now my dear sister, it is time for some quality time. Tie her up gentlecolts!”
Celestia’s eyes widened even further.
“What are you doing?! Let me go!” She tried her magic, but knew it was already too late; nothing happened. It had all just happened so fast.
The guards blocked the doors of the room after having thoroughly tied up the reigning princess to her bed. Celestia stopped trying to free herself from the constraints and stared into her sister’s eyes.
“Aw, you’re not gonna squirm anymore? Putting on a brave face, huh?” Luna was enjoying it now; she had full control.
“You really think this is going to work? That I am not immortal?” Celestia tried to bluff her way out of this.
“I KNOW this is going to work, because I know for a fact that you’re ticklish.”
“What?”
Luna pulled a large red feather out of her bag and tried it on her front hoof. Celestia’s face was awash with confusion as her expectations shattered before her.
“You’re not going to...”
“Underside of the rear hooves was the spot if I remember correctly?” Luna flashed a mischievous smile.
“Ohh Noo! Don’t do it Luna!” Celestia pleaded. The relief had her smiling, but the panic returned; she really was insanely ticklish.
“You can thank Philomena for this contribution.” Luna said as she waved the long feather in Celestia’s nose. “Always up for a laugh, that bird of yours. And this feather is amazing!”
“No come on Luna don’t, not with ponies here!!”
“You ashamed sis? Don’t be, your laughter is adorable. Now gimme that hoof!”
Celestia flashed her best poker-face when Luna gently stroked her left rear hoof with the soft tip of the feather. But Luna knew it was only a matter of time.
The guards however were still nervous; not knowing how princess Celestia would take this forceful invasion of her privacy. They did not see how her face got redder by the second. But Luna did, and she knew what would come next. She intensified her tickling; it had the desired effect.
Celestia pinched her eyes close, trying desperately to control herself. Her face contorted and then, she burst out in boisterous laughter. A collective sigh of relief from the guards wasn’t heard, for it was drowned out by the incredible sound Celestia brought forth.
“Wow that was tense. But I think we’re okay now.” one of the guards said to another.
“Yeah I think so too. Her laugh is really contagious isn’t it?” the other guard smiled.
Celestia meanwhile guffawed and gurgled in glee. Her stricken leg juddering against the constraints. Its sound was like a warm breeze blowing through the palace, and it could probably be heard by most of its inhabitants. It worked its magic on everypony in earshot, and soon a small crowd had formed outside, excited to learn who could produce this amazing sound. Nopony had heard Celestia laugh, REALLY laugh, for more than a thousand years. All she had let out during that period were polite little chuckles at appropriate times.
But now, she was utilizing the entire audible spectrum of sounds and noises, from guttural guffaws to high pitched squeaks.
Luna now directed the feather to wherever she pleased, relying only on her childhood memories, and the reaction of her sister to find the best spots. And she too could not hold back her own chuckles and giggles. The guards were in various states of hilarity; some merely shaking quietly, others rolling on the floor in hilarity.
“Please…Luna…enough…that's…enough!” Celestia finally managed to utter in between hiccups.
Luna gradually stopped the torture, but it took a little longer for all the laughter to die out.
“I am so gonna make you do that more often, so prepare thyself.” Luna said with tears in her eyes.
“My body is not ready.” Celestia replied, still out of breath from the torment of her sister.
“So…this was a hoot. Could you untie me now?” Celestia said after a moment of content silence.
“Oh no, I’m not done here. There’s still some stuff I want to go over.” Luna responded.
“Huh, like what?”
“Well, liiiiiiiiiiike THIS!” Luna exclaimed as she pulled something soft and purple out of her bag and held it in front of her in a dramatic gesture.
“How did you...Where did you find that?” Celestia sputtered while nervously eyeing her old Luna plushie. “Have you been snooping in my room?!”
“What is this madness?” Luna opted to attack. “Is this supposed to be me??”
“Aw come on!! I was young, i-it was a gift.”
“No it’s not, it’s worn and smells of your perfume!”
“I just missed you! Do you have to be so mean about it?!?”
“It has drool-stains Celly!! What the hay!?!?”
“Ahh this is soo embarrassing!!!”
Luna smiled, even though the purple thing was a preposterous parody of herself, she loved her sister for having loved it so…evidently.
“Are we done now?” Celestia pleaded.
“Yeah pretty much.” Luna said as she tossed the plushie in the corner of the room.
“Oh good” Celestia sighed in relief. “Could you untie me then? I’m getting a cramp.”
“Sure thing.” Luna replied as she magically untied her elder sister.
“Oh! Guys, I think we’re done here. You can release the others.” Luna addressed the guards. “And could you assure the remainder of the crowd outside that nothing interesting is going on?”
They nodded in agreement and exited the room one by one.
“Hey sis, I packed a few other things as well, ‘cause I was thinking we could have a sleepover.”
“A sleepover?” Celestia asked while she got on her hooves.
“Yeah, I thought it would be fun, you know.” Luna replied.
Celestia looked quizzically at her sister.
“You do know fun, don’t you?” Luna asked mockingly.
“Hey! I can have fun!”
“Good! Then it is decided” Luna said content. “I hereby decree this sleepover officially initiated.”
Celestia sighed. “Any chance I can talk you out of this?”
“Nope. I already decreed it. And you know what that means.” Luna said as she magicked all of her stuff next to Celestia’s bed.
“No, what does it mean? “ Celestia asked flatly.
“Make-over!!” Luna cheered.
And so the Royal sisters sat on big embroidered cushions, both their faces covered in green gunk. Luna was just putting Celestia’s mane in curlers, while Celestia was sitting contently on her cushion, slices of cucumber plastered on her eyes.
“Hey sis?” Luna asked.
“Hmm?” Celestia responded lazily.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you something ever since I got back.”
“What is it Luna?” Celestia replied, now showing Luna her full attention. At least, the fullest amount one can give with cucumber slices plastered on one’s eyes.
“When did you make your mane all multicolored and flowy? Didn’t pink do it for you anymore?”
“Ehehe…well, it was a crazy idea I had, some 200 years after you were eh…gone.” Celestia answered awkwardly. “But I really got attached to it. It’s pretty don’t you think?”
“Very, I was actually thinking of doing it myself.” Luna responded.
“Really? Well I have perfected both spells, which was harder than you may think.” Celestia responded while turning back into her lazy position.
“At first I didn’t know how to keep the colors consistent, and my mane continued to wriggle when I went to bed. That was annoying to say the least.” Celestia chuckled softly while reminiscing about the early days of her hairstyle experiment.
“But have you already decided which colors you want?” She asked after her thoughts came back from memory lane.
“Not entirely.” Luna responded. “Well, blue of course, maybe 2 or 3 different shades of it. Maybe black, but that would make me a little dark. Maybe white, but only a highlight. And I was thinking peach.” she concluded.
“Peach?” Celestia asked in disbelief.
Luna nodded. “Yeah, peach. You know, because there are those rare nights when my mane turns peach, and I go around spreading love and giving ponies sweet dreams?”
“Oh yes, of course. The night of “sweet” dreams. How could I forget?” Celestia answered cynically.
“What is it sis? You used to love those nights. Everypony did. As a matter of fact, I can’t wait for the next one.” Luna said while staring into infinity.
“But unfortunately they cannot be forced.” she sighed.
“What were the requirements for such a night again?” Celestia asked.
“Well I haven’t fully rationalized it, but it has to be hot, and the jasmines should be in full bloom.” Luna said with a dreamy stare.
“Ah yes, Jasmine messes with your mind doesn't it?” Celestia replied sarcastically.
“Now what is it with you?” Luna asked annoyed.
“I just find those nights…inappropriate. Don’t you get embarrassed over anything?”
“Well look here who turned into a prude during my absence.”
Celestia answered with a discrete silence.
“That reminds me of my next…thing. I thought it was inappropriate to talk about it with the guys in the room. But now we can discuss it.” Luna chirped.
“Oh? What is it?” Celestia inquired. Her attention drawn by both Luna’s little vocabulary malfunction, as well as her new habit in calling her guards ‘the guys’.
Luna leaned forward so her muzzle was just behind Celestia’s left ear, and softly spoke:
“I found your little collection.”
Celestia tensed up at the remark. The cucumber slices dropping from her eyes and on her chambers’ floor with an audible splat. “Could she mean…”
She looked back at her sister, and her stare was met with Luna bouncing her eyebrows up and down.
“Oh boy” she thought.
“I have to say I’m really disappointed in you big sister.” Luna’s expression was stern now.
“I-I…it’s not mine, I’m just…”
“I was expecting you to have collected at least a small library full of racy stuff in those thousand years.” Luna interjected with a dramatized pout.
“What? Oh of course.” Celestia thought. It had taken Luna less than a year to collect an entire shelf, which she kept in full view on the shelf of honour in her chambers’ bookcase. She was the last pony in the palace that would be shocked by Celestia’s “measly” collection, except maybe by its…measlyness.
“I eh…”
“And I’m also surprised that you swing both ways, is that new, or have you been hiding that from me?” Luna interjected.
“Luna, I…”
“Hey, I don’t judge, join the herd.”
“Well that’s n…”
“And why were there some of Twilight Sparkle’s letters in there as well?”
“Theboxsaysmiscellaneous!!” Celestia blurted out a little too fast, as she could see Luna’s eyebrow creeping upwards.
Luna got up from her cushion and cleared her throat.
“Twilight Sparkle, my faithful, sexy student.” Luna said in an extra sultry imitation of her sister.
“I don’t talk like that.” Celestia snapped.
Luna merely smiled and continued her display.
“Oh Princess Celestia! Teach me with your horn!” Luna moaned loudly.
BOINK!
On the other side of the door, two sets of wings popped up.
“D’you hear that?”
“Yup”
“Did she just say what I think she said?”
“I think so.”
“Man, crazy night is this.”
“Luna please! Keep it down will you!” Celestia hissed through her sister’s giggles. “The guards might hear you.”
“So? It’s not like they haven’t heard such a thing before- oh wait…these aren’t my guards. Never mind what I just said.” Luna said with a guilty smile.
“Now you’re just messing with me aren't you?” Celestia asked with a glimmer of desperation in her voice.
“Pretty much. You’re just so sensitive to it.” Luna answered while slumping back on her cushion behind Celestia, and continuing the arduous task of putting Celestia’s mane in curlers.
“I guess so. But it’s just that…well; this palace has been a home to stuck-up royalty for a thousand years. It missed you. I missed you.” Celestia said glumly.
“I know sis, these ponies are boring and mean. It took me months to get my own guards to loosen up. And I fear that these “royal” ponies will never let their mane down. All done!”
“Huh, what?” Celestia replied, thrown off from Luna’s sudden exclamation.
“Your mane Celly, it’s all in curlers. Which took way longer than mine, don’t you ever cut your mane?”
“Nope, never. A long mane makes Celestia the prettiest pony in Equestria.” Celestia chimed while lovingly petting her curled up mane.
“Owwkay, what should we do next?” Luna asked.
“Wait just a minute. It looks like somepony forgot to put curlers in my taihail.” Celestia said in a sing-song voice while seemingly waving her tail through the entire room.
Luna groaned. “Seriously Tia, your tail is ridiculously long.”
“Well that’s not fair; I did your mane and tail.” Celestia pouted.
“Ugh, fine.” Luna replied defeated. Her horn began to glow, and with a pop and a flash, Celestia’s mane was all done up in curlers. It fell to the ground bearing all the extra weight.
“Satisfied?” Luna asked with a smirk.
“Very.” Celestia nodded in response
“Okay, now that we finished the make-overs,” Luna emphasized the word ‘finished’. “What should we do next?”.
“I know. How about we tell each other stories?” Celestia proposed.
“Ooh I have a good one” Luna said excitedly. “It’s called: ‘The Quest for the moonstones’.”
“…and when we peeked over the edge of the crater, there they were, right in the centre. The End” Luna finished.
“Wow that was a great story.” Celestia exclaimed and clopped her forehooves together. “I’ve never known there were living creatures on the moon, let alone intelligent talking creatures.”
“There aren’t.” Luna said flatly.
“What? But what about Alice, and Pierre, and Svyatoslav? And that team of evil sisters?”
“All products of my imagination. I just levitated moon rocks around me and did some voice acting.”
“But what about the moonstones!” Celestia asked desperately as she was beginning to feel overwhelmed by the sadness that this added knowledge gave to the story.
“More rocks.” Luna said flatly.
“That’s a horrible story Luna!” Celestia shouted with tears in her eyes.
“Aw don’t cry sis” Luna comforted her sister. “It was just the only story I had that you didn’t know yet.”
“Okay” Celestia muttered weakly as she dried her tears and took a couple of deep breaths.
Luna flashed a wicked smile. “Besides, I thought the goal was to make each other cry or scream?”
Celestia’s eyes suddenly gleamed, and with a wicked grin she said: “Then I believe it’s my turn.”
“…The last thing Rainbow Dash felt was her skin being cut away from her skull, and the metal of the blade scraping her teeth.
Then she was gone.”
Luna was sobbing and dry heaving. “W-Why would you tell this?! This is horrible!”
“Well it IS a horror story” Celestia replied with a content smile. “Besides you started it.” she added childishly.
“This is worse than 2 mares 1 stirrup!”
“What’s that? Another horror story?”
“No it’s something else. Remind me to show it to you some time.” Luna said as she got up, rubbed the tears out of her eyes and took a few deep breaths.
“Phew I’m exhausted.” Celestia said, changing the subject. “I think it is time to hit the hay.”
Luna looked at the clock. “Oh yeah, I guess its way past your bedtime isn’t it.” She said while trotting to her makeshift bed.
“As a matter of fact it is. I’m afraid it is going to be a short nap for me.” Celestia said while stepping into her bed. It was huge compared to Luna’s little sleeping bag.
“I’m sorry I kept you up for so long.” Luna said.
“That’s okay. I had fun, in a way I haven’t had for a long time.” Celestia replied as she turned off the lights. “Now are you’re sure my story won’t give you nightmares?” she asked mockingly.
“You sure you don’t want me in bed with you? Or are you fine with your Luna plushie?” Luna retorted.
“...... No.” Celestia replied after a long silence.
“No? No what?” Luna asked.
“No I’m not fine with my Luna plushie, so get in here.” Celestia digressed.
“Woah, are you serious?” Luna asked while lifting her head from her cushion.
“Yes I am; you look pitiful in that tiny sleeping bag, so jump in. There’s more than enough room for two in here.”
“Ha-ha, are you talking from experience?” Luna mocked, but she got up anyway. “Okay, I accept your invitation. Now scoot over will you?” she said while climbing in the bed, facing away from Celestia. Almost immediately she was grabbed and pulled into a loving embrace. She liked it, but after a couple of seconds, it got a bit constricting.
“Hey, Celly I love you too, and I’m all for spooning, but you do want to sleep, right?” Luna awkwardly inquired.
“Well I’ll be darned.” Celestia whispered in Luna’s ear. “Look here who turned into a prude during her exile.”
She let go of Luna and created a bit of space between them.
“Thanks.” Luna said with a smile. “Good night big sister.”
“Good night little sister. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luna was trotting back towards her chambers. Despite Celestia’s horror story, she had slept quite well. Celestia had to get up early, of course, to raise the sun, and after a pleasant breakfast it was time to go their separate ways. But it had been a wonderful night, one worth repeating for sure.
There was just one thing slightly bothering her; it seemed all the guards she encountered this morning were having a laugh. It was probably because of yesterday’s events, and Luna was a reminder of it, but still….
As she approached her chambers she could see her guards already holding back their laughter.
“Good morning Princess Luna!” they happily chimed in unison.
“Morning guys.” Luna responded. “Still in stitches over last night?”
“Eheuh, yeah that’s it.” one of the guards answered, uttering a highly stifled snicker.
Luna frowned in suspicion.
“I should check myself in the mirror, shouldn’t I?” she asked slowly.
“That would be wise.” the guard replied.
Luna stomped into her chambers and raced to her mirror. A look of shock appeared on her face when she saw her reflection, but it soon replaced with a smile.
“Touché sister. Touché.” she mumbled as she stroked her multicolored flowing beard with her hoof.
“This castle just got a lot more fun.”
