Hive and Seek
Some time between seasons two and three, Equestria was visited by a strange group of ponies. These ponies were in fact former humans from another planet, maybe even a different Universe. They did not pose any threat to the pony way of life, and as such, were allowed to stay. Now, it has been some time, and they are starting to properly settle in. But, disaster strikes when Changelings manage to kidnap one of them, and the rescue parties that go after him get caught too, one after another, until there are only 2 of the original 18 left in Ponyville. One, a man turned mare, who cares very little, can’t be found to be drafted into helping. The second is Silver Sea, a small navy blue pegasus foal with short silvery mane and tail. With a talent for machinery and practical problem solving, and a silver wrench cutie mark to prove it, he is their last chance for freedom.
Silver Sea can be found in Ponyville working on what appears to be Scootaloo’s scooter. Nearby, the filly in question is keeping an attentive eye on the mechanic. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are right behind her, fussing over their friend.
“Are ya sure this is a good ah-dea?” Apple Bloom asked for the umpteenth time.
Without turning from watching Silver, Scootaloo replied, “No, but there’s no other options.”
“You could just, you know, not go!” Sweetie Belle pointed out.
“But these ponies are Silver’s friends, and so they’re our friends too, and friends help each other.”
“But Scoots, Rainbow Dash ain’t goin’ an’ she’s the element o’ loyalty.”
Silver, who had been listening while tinkering, spoke up, “Neither the Princesses or anypony affiliated with Equestrian rule, including the Element Bearers, can be seen getting directly involved with this.”
Sweetie looked horrified.
“What? Why!?”
The colt sighed and put his tools away. He then got up and walked over to the crusaders.
“The changelings would see it as an act of war, which would in turn ruin Equestria’s peace loving reputation that dear Celestia has been working on since the first Nightmare Moon incident. My friends and I are not technically Equestrian citizens; not yet. So, in the end, it’s up to me… and Cliff, but he has made it quite clear where he stands on this matter.”
“Oh…”
“Ah still don’t get wh-ah Scoots is goin’.”
Scoots went to examine her prized ride while saying, “Because Sea has no other way of getting there fast. If Dash can’t go, I’ll go in her place. I might even get a rescuing cutie mark. All that, and nopony but me drives Scoota-June (short for Junior)!”
“...”
“...”
Sea looked between the silent fillies and shrugged, “I think the lady has spoken.”
Scootaloo stepped up onto June and fastened her helmet on. Seeing this, Silver followed suit, his helmet resembling motorist protection rather than Scoots’ bike helmet. The other two stood back and waved as their friends zoomed by, buzzing wings filling the worrisome silence.
“Oh, and I think the word ‘flies’ would be a more appropriate word for the situation,” Silver added.
“Wait, wha-”
All of a sudden, wings came out of June’s sides, and the pegasi foals took flight. Silver Sea quickly attached a headset to the pilot’s helmet, his own gear having one built in.
He shouted over Scoot’s unending scream of surprise, “Calm down!”
Scootaloo went quiet, her breathing still a little heavy.
“Good, now flying is simple; Not unlike gliding. Lean left to go left, right to go right, back: up, and forward takes us down into a dive.”
He demonstrated each maneuver by pull and pushing Scoots lightly in each direction from behind.
“We’re lightweight, so both of us fluttering our wings, as we are now, will keep us going.”
“B-but the hive’s so far away and we’re not nearly going fast enough. We’ll tire out.”
Sea smirked, “Heh, I was hoping you’d say that. Twist the right handle like a throttle.”
As soon as the orange hoof twisted back, thrusters sprouted out of the wings and they blasted across the sky. If not for her passenger, Scoots would have been flapping in the wind, clinging onto the hoofle bars for dear life. This time though… she didn’t scream in fear.
“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Over the course of an hour, the two foals flew all the way out into the badlands. As soon as the tip of the hive appeared over the horizon, thrusters were cut off, and wing power was turned back on. The buzzing of their wings would be ignored by the enemy. However, little did either of them know, the little engineer had not fully compensated for the strain the thruster would put on the wings.
Around the time when the hive, a huge and impossible looking piece of architecture, was in full view, the wings were shaking wildly. Screws were popping out, causing loose rattling. Eventually, they both simultaneously fell apart, leaving June in the air, carrying two flightless pegasi foals. They plummeted back down to Earth.
“Scoots! We have to let go of the scooter and glide ourselves to safety!”
“NO! Nopony gets left behind! She falls, I fall!”
“But sh- it’s not a po-”
Sea was interrupted by a cold, hard stare from the filly.
“Nopony. Gets left. Behind.”
The colt gulped.
“Fine, then I’m staying too!”
Scoots nodded and turned back to look around for a way out of the situation. After a brief moment, she had a plan.
“Sea, when I say so, open your wings out and try to glide!”
“How will that help us with the scooter weighing us dow-”
“NOW!”
Both of them flick their wings open and held them stiff.. The sudden increase in air resistance, even from their small wings, made just enough of a difference as they hit one of the badlands’ many odd rock formations.
Scoots angled the scooter so the impact didn’t smash them to little bits. They bounced off and onto another formation. The following few minutes are hard to describe. The two Scoots, working as a perfectly synchronised team (even with the weight of their passenger), performed stunt after stunt, bouncing, grinding, spinning and using some ramp like formations. One or two collections of rocks were toppled in the process. Soon, the trio came to an especially long ramp with a flick at the end.
Once more they were launched skywards, headed right for the hive. It was an awe inspiring structure, spiraling upwards, with gravity defying segments sticking out, being held up by seemingly inches wide arms. Tubes came in and out like slides at a water park, one even starting from the bottom, reaching all the way to the top.
“Get ready!” Scoots shouted.
“For what!?”
“This!”
June’s tail end flicked towards the hive while Scoots bucked Sea, disconnecting his hold. Last minute, he got his wings back open and glided through a reasonable sized hole. He tumbled and rolled, ending up on his hooves, skidding to a halt. His helmet fell to the floor, cracked and in pieces. One look told him the headset was irreparable. Lastly, a thump and scratch were all Sea was given in learning Scoots fate. Running to the hole that could be called a window, there was no sight of the filly. It was a long way down too.
“Aww crap… Dash is gonna kill me… and the other crusaders won’t exactly be quick to help me either…”
He stood back from the window and looked around. The corridor he was in curved away on both sides, apparently being the outer ring. The wall were like changelings, having a swiss cheese look to them, except there was more wall behind the holes. They looked big enough for a colt his size to hide in, so there was that.
Something kept nagging Sea at the back of his mind, like something was off about the hive, even from only having arrived. He stayed silent, listening for nearby Changelings, and heard nothing. Next, an ear went to the floor,and then the wall; nothing.
“It’s quiet… Too quiet.”
Changelings were naturally very noisy creatures, and the buzzing of their wings was such a noise that one should be able to feel vibrations of so many moving around. The last and only message sent from any of the rescue parties was simply ‘There’s thousands of them!’ So, Silver had good reason to be concerned.
Not wanting to wait around to find out, he decided to cautiously go around counter clockwise. It was maze logic. Turn right then keep turning left. Nine times out of ten, you get to the middle. Of course, he had no idea if middle was good, but in a place like this, it had to be important, right?
“Maybe they have a map around here… I mean, it’s unlikely, what with their hive nature. They probably have a natural sense of direction here… What am I saying? A map around here would be stu...pid…”
Speak of the devil, there was a large floor map on the wall to his left. It came with a diagram of the hive, with an arrow indicating which floor the reader was on. The floor map was a birdseye view image, with labels written in Equestrian. There was a notice at the bottom of it all, reading: As requested by the general populace, in response to the widespread loss of natural direction due to inbreeding, this map and those around the Hive have been supplied by your Queen, the Beautiful Chrysalis Vulgaris. Made in China.
“... This could be a counter-espionage ruse… but then again… inbreeding makes complete sense… being an insect/pony cross, it could very well be an issue…”
Buzzing was heard further down the corridor. At first, Sea thought it was Scoots, but then he remembered what had happened, and there was no squeak accompanying the buzz. There was a hole under the map, so he dived in and curled up, listening attentively. Eventually, voices could be heard over the wings.
“I say, good sir! That was a spiffing game of cricket, was it not?” said a clearly changeling-y voice.
“Quite so! As usual, those ponies were no match for our superior sportsmanship,” replied another.
“And let us not forget the additional entertainment,” added a third.
The first laughed heartily, “Ah yes! I always love a good pony beating!”
“That blasphemous stallion just wouldn’t learn, would he?” The third continued, “One does not call Hoofball Soccer!”
Their voices began to fade as the second chipped back in, “That word doesn’t even make any sense. Soccer.” The word dripped with distaste. “How on Equis did they come up with such a confoundingly preposterous name for such a pure sport second only to the Queen’s sport?”
“Well, those peculiar ponies don’t know. There was that one who called it Football. Why would we call it fo…” And the voices were once again drowned out by the echoing buzz of their wings.
Silver Sea crawled from his hiding spot and looked over to where even the echo was dying out.
“Are you kidding me? They’re British? How come they’ve never spoken like that before?” He paused, then shook his head. “Ahh forget it. Wish they’d mentioned where the others were. Or why it’s so damn quiet! Fuck, it’s creeping me out it’s so quiet here!”
His attention returned to the map. It was quite big. And confusing. It had no pattern.
“How the fuck am I supposed to memorise this!? It’s too big to carry with… me… seriously?”
Sea stared at a little plastic holder containing folded copies of the floor map. The notice on it read: Following the supplication of wall maps, it was requested that disposable maps be provided for those incapable of memorising it. Provided once more by our Queen, the Beautiful Chrysalis Vulgaris. Made in India.
At that moment, Silver face hooved, sighing a deep sigh. He took a map, unfolding it on the floor and analysing. It was identical, minus the full hive diagram, and red marks where repairs or changes were being made. It was titled by its floor number, 27. There was an assortment of various rooms throughout the floor further in. Back on the wall map, there was a key for important locations, including the cricket pitch, on 22.
One last look and Sea had a route planned to the nearest stairs, handily skipping a floor to 25. With the map folded and put away, he set off for the first turning into the hive. Things continued without incident, reaching 25, 24, then skipping another floor straight to 22, collecting maps along the way. The pitch was right in the middle, taking up many inner rings of space.
He walked right out into the middle, looking around for any clues, spotting blood from the beating he’d heard about. Just as he kneeled down to examine it closer, there was yet another buzz of wings approaching rapidly. Sea barely managed to duck in time as a Changeling flew right over him.
“SONUVA-!”
He dived and rolled away from his attacker, hitting a bag full of wood. It was the cricket equipment. With a cunning smile, Silver Sea faced the opposing Changeling.
“Bring it on, fuckface!”
Happy to comply, it repeated its earlier attack. Again, the colt ducked, dived and rolled, but pulled the cricket bat with him. This in turn pulled the whole bag, strewing the stumps and bails over the ground. Upon the third attempt to fly tackle his target, the Changeling received a swinging bat to the face.
Surprisingly, it remained conscious, albeit highly disorientated. The bat had shattered into many wooden shards. Sea threw the remains of the bat still in his hoof to one side and grabbed a shard and a cricket stump, galloping up to the changeling. With merciless precision, the shard was stabbed into one of the eyes and the stump one of the wings. After that, he climbed the screaming victim’s back and forced the stump through the second wing.
The resulting pain caused the Changeling to buck wildly. Silver fell off, still holding onto the stump, tearing the gossamer wings from their home. The amount of pain this gave the Changeling was too much, and it fainted.
Sea stared at the wings.
“Huh, that was unintentional…”
Like the bat before, he threw the stump and wings to one side. He then proceeded to gather up four of the other stumps and one of the two bails. A good kick rolled the Changeling onto its back, and a stump was put through a hole on each leg, stabbing the points into the ground, hard. With the bail still in hoof, Sea sat on his enemy and slapped it awake.
Upon seeing Sea atop it, the Changeling hissed at him.
“Right, here’s how it’s gonna go down. You’re going to tell me where my friends are. Otherwise, I’m going to use this-” Pulls the wood shard from its eye, ignoring the screams. “-to draw on you. You don’t want that, because I’m one of those ponies that repeatedly goes over the same lines.”
The Changeling hissed again.
“Suit yourself, but you might want to bite down on this thing here.” Sea shoved the bail in its mouth. “Don’t want you biting your tongue off now.”
He slid off of the changeling and, while holding the bail down, started to mildly gouge out some plans for a random device. All the while, the changeling let out muffled screams, and Silver mumbled to himself.
“Gotta put that there… this connects with these… good for power amplification… motion sensors… elephant…”
After about 5 minutes, Sea stopped and removed the bail.
“So, ready to talk, bitch?”
Yet another hissing response.
“You sure?” He asked, lightly tapping the markings on it’s stomach.
The Changeling hissed in pain.
“Alright, alright! They’re on floors 66 and 67! Stop already you scoundrel!”
“Pleasure to have done business with you.” Pulls one of the stumps back out of the ground. “You do realise you could have zapped me with your magic at any time, right?”
There was a brief look of ‘Oh yeah...’ on the Changeling’s face before the sharp end of a stump went through its other eye and right into the brain, killing it. However, before Silver could head out, he spotted two more Changelings charging at him on hoof. One shot magic at him while the other shot a blast into the air, vibrating the whole hive.
“So much for the element of surprise!”
He knew full well that he couldn’t outrun these two newcomers, so he charged them head on, zigzagging slightly to avoid the magic assault. Grabbing what was left of the cricket set, he then goaded one of them into a ramming contest by lowering his head. Soon as it was inreach, he stepped on the horn and jumped over the failed rammer. The first challenging was now tumbling away after the horn got caught in the pitch.
Still in mid air, Sea passed over the second charger, semi falling. He managed to hold a bail out and whack it down into the Changeling’s spine, severing the connections and paralyzing it. Rolling into a stand position, Sea quickly turned around to survey his handy work, only to see the first Changeling already preparing for another run.
Silver looked to the stump in his hoof.
“Let’s make this shot count. Hey ugly!” The changeling glared. “I’ve seen a letter that’s scarier, and it sure as fuck ain’t u!”
As expected, the first Changeling, clearly quick to anger, charged, mouth held open and hissing loudly. Silver saw his cue and threw the stump right into its mouth. The projectile came straight out the back of the neck. The hissing stopped and the charge slowed slightly. The strong armed colt easily side stepped it, a hoof purposefully tripping the Changeling. After it face planted the floor, it ceased to move entirely.
“Douche.”
“O-Oi! Nitwit!”
Sea jumped as he searched for the voice’s owner. The paralyzed Changeling could still move most of his head, and was yelling at the colt.
“What?”
“Get over ‘ere and end it already, would’ya?”
“Hang on… the others were posh british. Why are you cockney?”
“What d’ya mean bri’ish? This is ‘ow we changelings talk normally!”
“I- WHY DO YOU TALK DIFFERENTLY TO THE OTHER CHANGELINGS AROUND HERE, FUCKTARD!?”
“Keep ya hat on kid! I be one o’ those inbreds. Most o’ my lot are out stormin’ some big zebra tribe. They be takin’ a bi’ longer than they saids they would, bu’ it’ll be hunky dorey in the end. Now, you gonna kill me or what!?”
“FINE!” Silver trotted over and stomped on his throat. “THANK YOU!”
Once the cockney Changeling was definitely dead, Sea checked his surrounding to make sure he wasn’t about to get attacked again. There was nopony in sight. Remembering the ‘intruder alert’ warning shot from earlier, the colt made himself scarce. He now had to somehow climb 44 floors with every Changeling that was still around on the lookout for an intruder.
As Sea hid in yet another hole in the wall, or what he’d started to call ‘Wall Sphincters’, for what was the umpteenth time, he began to really doubt the threat these Changelings were believed to hold over their enemies.
First off, they send the majority of their force in single attacks, making the base of operations vulnerable, like Sea was at this moment proving. The wall sphincters made this considerably easier too, and nopony out looking for him even THINKS to look in ANY of the holes AT ALL. Next, there’s the inbreeding… it’s clearly reduced the average IQ of the hive like a pair of concrete shoes in water. You can take a changeling to a mission briefing, but you can’t make it think.
With the latest search party leaving his vicinity, Sea crawled out into the open once more and stretched his joints. One could only hide in wall sphincters so much before even the limberest of ponies started getting cramps. The good news was that a mere seven floors separated Silver’s location and destination. Not only that, but one of those strange outer tubes connected floors 59 and 66 directly. That meant a break from wall sphincters. A joyous occasion if ever there was one.
That is, of course, until Silver discovered the contents of prior mentioned tube. Whatever it was, it was gooey, icky, and probably highly unsanitary. A couple of prods were enough for Sea to make a change of plans. The changelings, and Sod’s Law, were having none of that, and another search party could be heard moving in on the intruder’s position, albeit unawares. With no time to lose, and a quick grunt of disgust, Silver Sea climbed upwards into the nameless slime.
Admittedly, as horrifying as it felt to… ‘slurge’ (see: ‘Slurge; definition’) through the unidentified gunk, it was nice enough to not let him slide back where he came from. It was as if it was designed to allow any who entered it to direct themselves with no issues concerning gravity. Not only that, but it had the common decency to stay out of any and all orifices AND didn’t restrict a pony’s breathing. In Silver Sea’s case breathing included cursing everything under the Sibling Princess’ Sun and Moon and anything else he could think of.
Having skipped the monotonous journey of our hero through his confirmed ‘Worst Thing Ever of All Time’, we now find Silver Sea wiping the ‘W.tH.E.A.T’ off of his fur onto an apparent Changeling corpse. Somehow, the poor fellow had found some way to make the ‘wheat’ stop being polite, and invade every part of him. Suffice to say, his death wasn’t a natural one, nor pleasant in any way. It’s reasonable to suspect a disgruntled colt took part in whatever occurred.
Having finished wiping himself clean with an oil rag, he threw the thing over his unlucky victim’s face.
“Clean yourself up.”
With a light chuckle, Silver continued on his way to rescue his friends. The floor guide confirmed what he already suspected, labelling the centre as the prison area. Oddly enough, Silver found not a single changeling on guard, be they posh or cockney. If he hadn’t already started to suspect his enemy’s general competence, Sea would have been more cautious. Instead, he ran to the cage’s lock and began to work on breaking it open while his friends voiced their surprise and appreciation.
“Woah, I must still be out of it,” said Ice Rune, the Latvian whom had been the initial kidnapee. He had a tendency to get high, no matter how hard everypony else worked to prevent it.
“I swear, if you smoke another spliff in my immediate area, I will kill you myself.”
Silver stared at the infuriated pegasus who had just spoken. Archangel towered over Rune intimidatingly, a fury burning in his eyes.
“You gonna get us out of here or not?” Asked a third pony by the name of Ghostly Glow. She and her BFF Tod were closest to Sea.
Tod had a fondness for knives, and probably Ghostly, but he sure as hell won’t admit it, even if it’s more of a father daughter situation. He brandished his knife now, clearly trying to encourage Sea to get back to work releasing them. Had he seen what the colt had been up to lately, he’d probably be less inclined to threaten him.
Either way, Silver Sea did return his attention to the lock. Half of the gang offered words of encouragement or bickered between one another. A unicorn of similar size to Archangel, Observer, was pushing the large pegasus aside to try and get Rune to hand over some of his stash. With all the hubbub, nopony noticed the other half, who had remained calm, quiet and unconcerned.
Upon Sea’s success with lock however, these ‘friends’ jumped their buddies and incapacitated them all. Well, all except for our favourite problem solver, who had stolen Tod’s shiny knife and slit the throat of the ‘friend’ who had tried to take him out.
With the loss of his life, the pony formerly believed to be Omega Darkness lit up with a flash of green fire, and left behind another changeling corpse for Silver’s collection. He would never admit it, but the kill had been more satisfying when it looked like Omega. Glitter Night was thankfully unconscious. Had she seen her ‘boyfriend’, she’d have screamed. Maybe even fainted. Silver didn’t feel like he knew her enough to make that assumption though.
The other ‘friends’ hissed and reverted to their changeling selves, not that that would have made much difference. Tod’s knife was capable of slicing through bone. Changeling body parts would be no different.
One of them shouted the order, “Get ‘im lads!”
Silver Sea took on a battle stance, knife at the ready.
“Yes, get me.”
The ensuing battle was more a slaughter than anything else. Limbs were severed, organs were gutted, and a couple of the suckers went and lost their heads. Any that survived the first round started making painful beelines for the exit.
“Not on my watch you don’t!”
One by one, the survivors were finished off. And then there was silence. Sea noticed some blood had spilled over his companions, but there wasn’t much else he could do about that. He sure as heck wasn’t gonna clean then in their sleep.
“Be weird as fuck,” the colt thought aloud. “Bastards would never do that for me… Faggots that they are...”
So, with no immediate threat present, Silver Sea waited for his friends to come to.
Thanks to the events in the first jail cell, our hero was prepared as he entered 67’s prison, where the exact same group of ponies could be seen twiddling their metaphorical thumbs. The first bunch had taken to waiting outside so Silver could trick the other changelings amongst the remaining friends.
As he approached the bars, Sea wondered how he would go about revealing those who couldn’t be trusted, but then he spotted an anomaly. There was a changeling amongst them. He sat in a far corner, in a terrible state. Sure, the friend who Silver deduced had been beaten over the ‘Soccer/Hoofball’, Static, was badly bruised, but this changeling was cut up like chopping board.
“What happened to you?” he asked, ignoring the pleas of his friends.
“Disagreement with the management,” replied the changeling. His voice came across less like his brethren. Not only was it clearer, but it lacked the poshness or cockney quality. Still british though; and familiar.
“Oh? What crap did you do to get locked up with the enemy?”
“I didn’t see them as enemies. You Silver Sea? You can’t be Cliff, considering he’s a she now. Plus you’re too young looking.”
“How the fuck do you-”
“Name’s Matte; Matte Finish.”
“Hang on! You’re Matt? The hell happened to you?”
“Poison Joke. Anyway, I think the others want out.”
The cries for freedom hadn’t stopped through the entire conversation.
“I noticed. Not sure who to trust.”
“Eh, you got a fifty-fifty chance.”
Silver put two and two together and smirked.
“Good enough for me!” he exclaimed, shortly before whistling to those outside.
As they walked in, those inside the cage glared at the doppelgangers next to them and pummelled them into the ground. Afterwards, Silver let them out. It was now time to execute the escape plan.
“...”
Glissando, the musical member of their gang, spoke up, “Hey, Sea?”
“Yeah?”
“What now?”
“We get the hell outta dodge.”
“But what about the rest of the changelings?” asked another pony, this time being Shadowed Rainbow, a mare who preferred writing over action.
“There’s not that many. Most are off invading Zebras or something.”
As if on cue, a rumbling buzz touched their eardrums. As quick as possible, the former humans all galloped to the outer ring and look out the makeshift window holes. In the distance was a black smudge, bulging out at the side, getting bigger, and louder. The army was coming home.
“OH, FUCK OFF! NOT NOW! WE WERE JUST ABOUT TO ESC-!” screamed Denavian, before Sea put a hoof over his mouth. Any other time, and that would be a bad move, considering Denny’s fangs. Vamponies, no matter how well you know them, canNOT betrusted.
“Shut up before anypony hears you dickshit!”
Again, inconveniently on cue, a loud explosion was heard from 67’s prison area. Another magical blast acting as an alarm.
“We’re screwed,” said Matte.
Quad Ruple, a blue coated pegasus, squinted at the outside threat, getting a better look. His three other selves- Red, Green and Purple- appeared around him and joined in for some reason.
“I think they lost against those Zebras, guys,” said Blue.
Purple agreed, “It seems that way. Many are injured, and some are even having to be carried. Most certainly signs of defeat.” He nodded to himself and repositioned the glasses he wore to look smarter.
Green sighed, “Why can’t ponies make peace, not war.”
In reply, Red smacked Green upside the head. “Damn hippie!” He then looked back outside. “If I know my sloppy formations, and I do, they got themselves a lead bug at the front.”
Sea clicked his non-existent fingers as a light bulb appeared over his head.
“That’s it! The cockney fucks are inbred and have no natural sense of direction. The leader’s probably a posh cunt. Take him out and they won’t know where to go!”
“Except,” Observer cut in. “They can SEE the hive now.”
“We’ll just have to distract and lead them away after.” Silver stroked his chin, looking between his friends. “Seeing as Cliff’s not here, we’ll need another scapegoat.”
Everyone bar Green unanimously declared, “NOT IT!”
“Well Green, sucks to be you.”
“Huh, what?” Green looked away from the window. “Sorry, I was just watching this thing come flying over the horizon. What are we talking about?”
But nopony answered him. They all went to see what had distracted Green, and they almost couldn’t believe what they saw. At first it looked like a plain old ball of fire, its smoke trail coming from behind the horizon, but as it got closer, it was revealed to be a flaming, flailing pony. A female, flaming, flailing pony. A furious, female, flaming, flailing pony.
Cliff Jumper could soon be heard as she flew towards the oncoming horde of changelings, yelling at the top of her lungs, “PINKIE PIE YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU FIRED ME OUT OF THAT BLOODY CANNON! FECKING RUE IT, YOU HEAR MEEEEEEEEEE!?”
Suddenly, from amongst the stunned ponies witnessing this event, Pinkie Pie popped up.
“LOUD AND CLEARLY, JUMPEROONEY!”
“AND STOP CALLING ME THA-”
The equine cannonball struck the horde’s guide and leader, causing him to explode from the force. Said horde instantly turned their attention to their aggressor. She continued on her path, bouncing hard over the badlands, until eventually, Cliff’s body skidded to a grinding halt. The changelings hovered over her landing spot. A mysterious flash of light, some distant murmuring, and then a trail of dust lead away from the hive, horde in hot pursuit.
Pinkie started giggling.
“Oh that mare! What trouble will she get into next?”
Silver’s quick wit answered, “Something Pinkie related, I’m sure.”
“Probably!”
And with that, the pink party pony exploded into balloons and confetti.
“See, that’s why I don’t like Pinkie Pie. She’s just a solve all plot solution when the writers can’t think of something else,” commented a random reader.
The respite didn’t last for long, as the changelings still alive in the hive came from all directions, surrounding our hero and company.
Silver sighed. He held out his forehooves and said, “Take me to your leader.”
All the changelings grinned evilly.
One spoke up, “‘R Queeny wants a word with you.”
The rest of his ilk stared at him with such judgement.
The one next to him muttered, “Pillock.”
“So you’re the one that has been royally fucking up my domain. I must say, I am surprised at your diminutive stature. How on Equis did you manage to perform such graphic acts of violence?”
Silver Sea answered Queen Chrysalis Vulgaris honestly, and went on to describe his actions during his changeling encounters earlier that day. Just before getting to the part involving one unlucky changeling and slurging, Chrysalis held up a hoof to request he be silent. He obliged.
“You are quite the disturbed colt. However, your crimes must not go unpunished. As Ruler of this domain, it is my duty to kill you in recompense. Prepare to DIE!”
The Queen stood up from her throne and stepped towards the convicted felon.
“Hold the fuck up now! Don’t I get some last words?”
She paused to consider this, then replied, “Very well. Speak now, the words you wish to be remembered by.”
“... Why do you talk like that? All slow, frequently putting emphasis on your words… You sound really different to when you invaded Canterlot. AND THE ACCENT! Why are you all British all of a sudden!? I guess I never heard your minions talk before today, BUT STILL! WHAT THE FUCK, BITCH!?”
Taken aback, Chrysalis managed to explain, “We have always spoken like this. We don’t recall ever invading Canterlot. What is this British you speak of?”
Silver squinted at his executioner, “Not sure if in denial or has amnesia from love shield blast…”
“Enough! Accept your fate and perish by my hand!”
Chrysalis resumed her course, and Silver kept backing away.
“You don’t even have hands!”
Just then, a changeling burst into the throne room, panting.
“Your Majesty! What can only be described as a pink blur just knocked out our prison guards! The ponies have escaped again and are causing all sorts of havoc in the hive!”
Random Reader roared, “God! Damn! Pinkie! Pie!”
“What of the troops returning from Zebrica?”
“The scout you sent after them when they changed course has returned! He found them! Some are dead, while the others are too weak or injured to move! Whatever they chased after fought them off, then headed this way! He didn’t see it on his way back!”
It was Chrysalis’ turn to roar. While she was distracted, Silver Sea lunged at the messenger, grabbing him and slamming him repetitively against the wall, until his horn broke off. Dropping the body, Sea picked up the horn and wielded it like a makeshift knife.
“So, you wish to die fighting, do you? So be it!”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, shut up already!”
The two unlikely fighters charged at one another. Chrysalis’ magic aim was terrible, and Silver used his height to his advantage, running between the legs and finding out just how hard a changeling’s underbelly is. The horn was worn down to its lower half. The mighty queen laughed heartily.
“You really thought that would work?”
The pair of them turned to face each other again, now with their positions swapped.
“Didn’t I just tell you the shut up, bitch?”
The fight continued. Chrysalis tried more magic blasts, stomping and kicking, and all the colt could do was dodge, duck, dive and dodge. Queen Vulgaris grew more and more frustrated with the predicament. After yet another failed attempt at killing her quarry, she landed in front of the doors still left open from the messenger’s appearance.
“This is growing tedious. COME TO ME, SOLDIERS!”
“That’s cheating!”
She just smiled while she stood there, keeping her eyes fixed on Silver. After a little while, her smile lost some of its gleam.
“SOLDIERS!?”
Still nothing.
Silver rubbed the back of his neck, “Well this is awkward…”
But then, buzzing was heard coming closer. Buzzing and squeaking. The changeling paid the squeaking no heed. Her full smile returned as she looked back over her shoulder.
“What took you so… long?”
This time it was Sea’s turn to smile. He’d know that squeak anywhere. Chrysalis, too stunned and confused to react, got a scooter to the face, knocking her over. Scootaloo and June forward rolled in the air from the collision, then landed perfectly, skidding to a stop next to their former passenger. Posing like a boss, a cutie mark of a burning wheel with wings reflecting a random beam of light, glimmering all shiny and new.
“Did you miss us?” asked Scootaloo, flicking her head to rearrange her fringe.
In reply, Silver Sea offered a hoof, which Scootaloo bumped.
“Dayum girl, that was some fine ass timing.”
“You’re welcome. Now let’s get out of here before-”
A long, holey, black leg swung out and struck June. Scootaloo was sent into a wall, sliding down it upside down, knocked out. June broke in two, the handlebar and joist joining her pilot and the board remaining near Silver. The wheels rolled out the doors.
“Shit! SCOOTS!”
“MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I remain undefeated! Bow down to your master- OW!”
Silver had jumped up and yanked hard on her hair, removing many strands. With no time to lose, having to revert back to his evasive tactics, he picked up the board, tying it to his leg. When he was sure it was fastened well enough, he stood his ground and blocked a stomping hoof.
“Tables are turning, mother fucker!”
Sea ran under Chrysalis again, and took up the other half of June like a sword. From there, the tables did indeed turn. It wasn’t long before the ‘noble knight’ got a hit on the ‘fearsome dragon’. Blood leaked from a ‘scaly’ fore leg. Soon after, more scratches, cuts and gashes appeared all over the ‘beast’. Eventually, she could fight no more, and collapsed. Blood loss had taken its toll.
On a whim, Silver enquired, “Do you yield?”
Chrysalis spat blood onto his cheek. Weakly, she spoke, “Never, you bucking child. We shall have your head.” She fired one last magic bolt, which Silver reflected at a wall with ease. “You cannot stop the changeling horde. Nopony ca-MMMMFFFFF!.”
Silver had shoved June’s joist down through Chrysalis’ muzzle, catching her tongue along the way. Her head was now pinned to the ground.
“What part of ‘shut the fuck up’ did you NOT understand?”
Chrysalis just whined in pain.
“... good enough.”
The victor unfastened the ‘shield’ from his arm as he trotted over to Scootaloo. The filly was well enough; still unconscious but nothing more than that. Silver lifted her onto his back and left the defeated monarch to her pitiful, muffled moans.
At the bottom of the hive, Silver Sea and all his friends started their long journey home. On his way down, the colt had avoided fights and freed up the other ponies by informing any changelings he encountered that their Queen was nearing death. It was handy that all changelings were royalists.
Everypony was bruised or injured in some way, but nothing permanent. Scootaloo had woken up, mourned the loss of June and climbed off of Silver. Even Cliff was fine, in her own way. This was discovered due to her appearance not long after departing the hive. She was galloping in the opposite direction to them, towards the enemy. Ignoring all the calls to turn around, she passed by.
“... kill kill Kill Kill KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL Kill Kill kill kill…”
She had a deranged look about her, heavily cut and bruised, pony and changeling blood cake on her coat in places. Some minutes later, explosions were seen coming from the hive, along with audible changeling screams.
Silver commented on the sounds, the only one not glancing back at the chaos, “So much for sparing them to live in fear of us…”
A few more minutes later a changelings came wonkily flying by as fast as they could, be they screaming, “RUN!” Or some other indiscernible words.
Cliff Jumper galloped by once more.
“... kill kill Kill Kill KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL Kill Kill kill kill…”
“Oh shit! The hive’s coming down!” said one of the gang; Sea didn’t care who.
“Look at that dust cloud!” said another.
“It’s coming this way!”
“RUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnn…!”
Silver Sea ignored everypony galloping off. He continued to walk as the dust cloud enveloped him.
Author's Note
Boy am I glad G Docs transfer italics over. Imagine doing the code for Chrysalis' speech without that fact... Anyway, yes the explosions were stuck on tackily. It was intentional. You may have guessed that this story isn't meant to be a piece of fine art. It was written for the sole purpose of making Silver Sea look kinda badass, if not a little OTT for a colt. So please, before you go commenting about how it was stupidly ridiculous (unless you see that as a good thing), be aware that's how it was supposed to be.
