Fate: A Twilight and Trixie one off
FateA Twilight and Trixie one off
Twilight Sparkle sat in her cozy, giant, tree house, and gave a relaxed sigh.
She had managed to get ahead of her own schedule, which meant plenty of relaxing, reading, and reorganizing. She was already settled in with a stack of books, a quill and some paper, and her favorite blend of tea. Spike had been roped into some pony’s or another adventure for the day, and Twilight was enjoying the quiet stillness of the late morning.
Her serene moment was interrupted by a knock on the door. A knock that would completely and inevitably change Twilight’s life for about the next 20 hours or so.
“Who could that be?” Twilight wondered out loud. She trotted to the door and opened it with her magic to reveal none other than “The Grrrrreat and Powerful” Trixie.
“Twilight! Oh thank magic you’re home! I’ve come to ask…”--Trixie pulled off her wizard hat with her magic and held it in her front hooves.—“Neigh, BEG for your help!”
Twilight blinked a few times. She hadn’t seem Trixie since their “Magic Duel”, but that had ended well enough. Also, she wasn’t one to leave a Pony dangling on their own if she could help.
“Won’t you come in?” Twilight asked motion for Trixie to come inside.
Trixie placed her hat back on her head and trotted into the house.
“Would you like some tea? It’s my favorite brew and…”
“Oh Twilight! You’re so kind, but this is an emergency.”
“Right!” Twilight said, focusing on the problem at hand. “Are you in danger? Is someone you know in danger?”
“…So by ‘danger’ you mean…”
Twilight narrowed her eyes and frowned, “An immediate and impending situation that will likely end in injury and or death for the participant.”
“…right…OK, I may have piled it on a bit thick. Can you blame me? I’m a performer and…”
“Trixieeeeee…” Twilight said, losing her patience.
“Right! To the point. You know I love that about you. Always so direct.” Trixie said smiling.
“TRIXIE!” Twilight shouted, trying to get the light blue unicorn to spill why she’s here.
“OK, well…SPEAKING of performances, ‘The Grrreat and Powerful’ Trrrrixie is scheduled to perform in Canterlot, tonight!”
“So…you want me to come? That’s no problem. I have some free time today and…”
“I need you to come as my assistant.” Trixie said, lacing her words with hope.
“What?” Twilight said flatly, narrowing her eyes into a glare.
“Pleeeeeaaase?” Trixie said, moving the hope into her face and smiling wide.
“Seriously?” Twilight queried.
“Seriously.” Trixie confirmed.
“WHY would you need me to do something like that?” Twilight asked interrogatively.
“So, remember when you showed me up with the Ursa Minor?”
“Of course, how can I forget?”
“Yes, quite…So, remember how I was a laughing stock after that.”
“Yes,”--Twilight rubbed her chin with her hoof-- “You mentioned as much when you showed up with the Alicorn Amulet, banished me, and enslaved the entire village.” She said, pointing towards Trixie with her other hoof.
“OK, so it turns out being ‘Great and apologetic’ isn’t enough to get back in ponies’ good graces when your crimes are roughly equatable to a super-villain’s…”
Twilight continued rubbing her chin, “Yes, I can see how that can be a problem, but why me?”
“Because ponies respect you and all you’ve done! Showing up on stage with you would really show that Trixie has reformed!”
Twilight considered this for a second…
“Also…I kinda already made flyers and posted them all over Canterlot…” Trixie smiled embarrassedly and produced a flyer advertising “The Great and Powerful Trixie & The Magnificent Twilight Sparkle” complete with a graphic of the two in action-magic poses.
“TRIXIE! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS WITHOUT ASKING FIRST?!”
“I’m sorry Twilight. I got ahead of myself. But, you HAVE to help me now! If I show up on stage without you, I’ll be even MORE hated. Rotten fruit is SO hard to wash out of a cape, Twilight.” Trixie stared off into space and shuttered with the memory. “So, SO hard.”
Twilight examined the flyer carefully. “Why don’t you come up as MY assistant?”
It was Trixie’s turn to be taken aback. “What?”
“The flyer just mentions both of us! I bet we could just as easily show how reformed you where if you assisted me!” Twilight suggested.
“So you can turn my magic show into your science show? I think not!” Trixie closed her eyes and lifted her muzzle to the air.
“Hey! What’s wrong with science?!” Twilight asked rather irritated.
“Um, it’s boring?” Trixie asked rhetorically.
“SCIENCE IS NOT BORING!” Twilight screamed at Trixie with enough force to create wind, Trixie grimaced and braced herself against the gust as her cape billowed behind her.
Twilight started huffing and puffing.
“Here’s an idea.” Trixie started. “Let’s have a contest!”
“Trixie, you already know you can’t beat me at magic.” Twilight said, poking a purple hoof into the light-blue pony’s chest.
Trixie, moved Twilight’s hoof out of the way. “A different contest then. Something we’re on even footing with…”
Twilight thought for a second, “Book reading.” She suggested.
Trixie paused, “…You are such a nerd.”
Twilight leveled a glare at Trixie, and they mirrored putting tapping their hoofs on their chins in contemplation.
“Cape wearing.” Trixie suggested.
“Essay writing.” Twilight countered.
“Public speaking.”
“Math spreadsheet.”
“Storytelling.”
“Chemistry.”
“…This isn’t working.” Trixie said, ”Maybe we need to let fate decide.”
“Fate?” Twilight asked skeptically.
“We’ll come up with a bunch of suggestions and have somepony else pick one!” Trixie said, throwing her foreleg around Twilight and motioning with her other hoof into space.
“That won’t work, we’re just going to pick things we’re both good at. We might as well flip a coin.” Twilight said, pushing Trixie aside.
“OK…so we need something a little more random…”
“Random, ehhh…” Twilight said, thinking.
***
“Pinkie,” Twilight started. “I thought maybe we could maybe just pick a suggestion out of a hat."
“No way! ‘The Wheel of Fate’ is WAY more fun! And I’ve had it for ages and nopony has ever needed it! ‘Till now, that is!” Pinkie insisted, waving at her creation that was sitting in the middle of Sugarcube corner.
Twilight sighed and looked at the “Wheel of Fate”. It was a colorful wheel that had an arrow and multiple suggestions for potential contests.
Some of the suggestions where pretty tame:
“Fastest Mile”, “Cupcake Eating Contest,” “Most pogo jumps”
Some were pretty strange:
“Cat juggling”, “Cake Catapult War”, ”Breakdance fighting”
Some…where terrifying:
“Rabid badger wrestling” ,“Most bee stings”, “Waterboarding challenge.”
“Pinkie! I don’t want to be stung by bees.”
“Suit yourself~” Trixie said in a mocking sing-song voice. “I’ll get all the bee stings and leave none for you!” She said confidently.
“This is crazy!” Twilight insisted.
“What’s crazy is you’re willing to let science loose because you don’t care enough to suffer a little injury for what you believe in!”
Twilight’s expression hardened. “Spin the wheel, Pinkie!”
“Wheee!” Pinkie jumped on the wheel and it spun around and around, eventually flinging the Pink Pony into some far-off corner of Sugarcube corner.
“Fastest Mile, Fastest Mile…” Twilight chanted over and over again, a look of dread on her face.
Trixie looked much more confident and excited, “Coooome on, Cat juggling!” She shouted, swinging her hoof around.
Slowly the wheel came to stop, both ponies went pale and put on panicked expressions as the arrow slowly drifted across “Waterboarding challenge” but, thankfully it drifted just a hair’s width over to “Most Pinecones Consumed.”
Twilight’s brow furrowed, “Pinkie, we are NOT going to eat pinecones.” Twilight insisted as Pinkie happily pushed two bowls filled with pine-cones of different shapes and sizes in front of the two unicorns.
“Ah! Don’t worry Twilight!” Pinkie insisted. “You just have to chew really, really, really, really, really, really, REALLY well!”
“Pinkie, that’s absurd. Besides. Trixie isn’t up for it, either. Are you Trixie?”
Twilight turned to see Trixie fastening a white bib around her neck with magic, she picked up one of the more jagged looking pine cones with a hoof, “Ahhh…Pinus coulteri.” Trixie said, swirling her hoof around slightly. Trixie leaned in and gave it a sniff “Ahh! This tree is a ‘97 I believe, a very good year.” Trixie lightly nibbled on the Pine Cone, smiled, then began biting huge chunks out of it.”
Twilight’s jaw dropped, only stopped by the solid floor.
“And THIS!” Trixie continued, pulling out a large, round pine-cone. “A Giant Sequoia” Trixie sniffed. “Wow! ’38! Pinkie, my good woman, you’ve outdone yourself!”
“Yes ma’am! I can’t just serve my guests any ol’ Pinecone I find on the ground, nosiree!” Pinkie said proudly, sitting upright.
Trixie tossed the large pine cone in the air, and chomped and consumed it in a single bite. “Oh! Enough standing on ceremony!” She said, rubbing her hooves together and eyeing the bowl hungrily. Trixie buried her head in the bowl and bits of pinecone flew everywhere.
Twilight physically grabbed her jaw and lodged it back into place, and looked down at the bowl in front of her.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
Trixie seemed to be enjoying herself.
“Come on, Twilight! You can do it!” Pinkie said, encouragingly.
Twilight, picked up a small, smooth looking cone.
“Ulg, an early harvest Bulgarian Fir? Really?” Trixie said, mockingly.
Twilight shot Trixie a look full of daggers and looked at the pinecone with renewed determination. She slowly extended her tongue to the pinecone, and…
*One trip to the hospital later.*
“WHY!? WHY?! It SCRATCHES all the way down, and it’s still in my throat! The taste won’t leave my mouth! NOTHING MAKES IT GO AWAY!” Twilight moaned from her hospital bed.
“So…why did you eat the second pine cone, again?” Spike asked.
“I TOLD YOU! I PANICKED, OK! I THOUGHT THE FIRST ONE WAS STUCK IN MY THROAT AND I FIGURED THE SECOND COULD DISLODGE IT!”
“Really? You really thought that would work?” Spike continued, raising an eyebrow,
“Look! YOU try eating a pinecone and see how sensible you react.” Twilight countered.
“Well, I eat pinecones all the time.” Spike responded.
Twilight’s face flushed red with anger, but then she started a hacking cough that brought up more bits of pinecone.
Twilight’s friends surrounded her and looked with concern while Trixie sat in a corner with her back legs crossed, rolled her eyes, and continued filing her front hooves.
Twilight’s pupils each shrunk to the size of the head of a pin. “It’s no use! I’m done for! Even now my insides are being shredded! I don’t want to die like this!” She insisted.
She looked to her orange friend in a cowboy hat, and magically floated a pillow over to her. “Applejack! You’ve got a strong resolve! BE MY MERCY PONY!”
Applejack’s eyes went wide with fear and she backed away from the pillow.
“Oh cruel fate!” Rarity began, “WHY WOULD THE HEAVENS ALLOW FOR SUCH INJUSTICE TO EXIST!?” She continued shaking a fist at the ceiling.
A caramel colored unicorn with a brown mane in a doctor’s coat with a stethoscope draped across his neck leveled an annoyed expression through his glasses and over a clipboard. “Your friend is fine.” Doctor Stable insisted, “She just needs to avoid anything that would irritate her throat. Like more pinecones.”
“Hehe,” Twilight giggled nervously, her face flushed with embarrassment.
“Why did ya even let yourself be goaded in tha first place?” Applejack asked, walking back to the bed.
“You got to admit, darling.” Rarity started, “An ‘eating pinecones’ challenge is pretty silly.”
“But…but…science!” Twilight whined, followed shortly by more hacking coughs.
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash spoke up. “Those challenges are no joke! Lightning Dust and I challenge each other to a “kick yourself in the face as hard as you can” challenges all the TIME to settle differences.” Rainbow Dash said, crossing her arms, her eyes black, and her face covered in bruises.
“You told me you got those at ‘Pegasus fight club!’” Pinkie exclaimed accusatorially.
“I ALSO said not to talk about it!”
“Whoops.” Pinkie said.
“Can we go, now?” Trixie asked, looking up for a second only to extend a hoof and examine her filing. She stood on all fours and trotted over to Twilight. “I need to get you fitted for a magician’s assistant’s outfit.”
Rarity’s eyes lit up, “Oh! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!” Rarity grabbed Twilight, and with an alarmed “Wha!” the two were on their way to Rarities boutique.
“Finally!” Trixie exclaimed, heading for the exit.
“Oh my.” Fluttershy said, finally speaking up. “Doctor, doesn’t she need to be checked out, or something?”
“Normally yes, but since you never checked her in and just threw the pony with multiple bone fractures that WAS in the bed out this window…”--Doctor Stable motioned to an open window where a low moaning sound was coming from.”…I think it would be better if you all leave.”
The ponies starting filing out the room.
“You know…” Rainbow Dash, said trudging out, “…You could have brought him back in…”
“And where would we put him?!” Doctor Stable retorted harshly, “His bed was occupied!” Doctor Stabled tapped his hoof against his head in a “Think! Think!” expression.
“Seriously? So you just left him outside?”
“Which one of us is the doctor here?”
Rainbow Dash starting hovering in the air, crossed her arms, and said “You said that when you made me shoot that stitched together mess of pony parts with lightning!”
“GET OUT OF MY HOSPITAL!”
***
“No! The ‘Great and Powerful’ Trixie will NOT be upstaged!” Trixie insisted.
Rarity had stood Twilight up on all fours and dressed her in a white, button up shirt that ended at her chest line, a white bow tie, a tuxedo jacket, black briefs, fishnet stockings, black boots, and a top hat. “…Why does it feel like I’m wearing less when I’m wearing more?” Twilight asked, perturbed.
“But she LOOKS fantastic!” Rarity insisted.
“I know! Can you find something else that’s sexy, but slightly less showy?”
“Why do I have to look sexy…I don’t want to look sexy.” Twilight asked, gazing far, far into space.
Trixie rolled her eyes, “You’re a magician’s assistant! That’s the rules!”
“Oh, well…we can’t just go breaking the rules, I guess.” Twilight said, sighing.
“What am I supposed to do with her?” Trixie asked, motioning to Twilight.
“Make her talk backwards?” Rarity offered helpfully, cocking her head to the side, smiling wide, and blinking a couple times.
“How would that help?”
“It couldn’t hurt.”
“Ulg,” Trixie said exasperated, “We don’t have time for this! FINE!” Trixie dumped a respectable pile of bits into Rarity’s outstretched hoofs. “Come along assistant! We mustn’t be late.”
Twilight released a loud, annoyed sigh, and trotted after Trixie.
Rarity absentmindedly tossed the bits up in the air slightly, and caught them a few times. She tossed a sly look at the other two unicorns as they left her store, and closed the door behind them.
“The coast is clear!” She announced.
The rest of Twilight’s friends emerged from a back room.
“So,” Spike began, “We’re following them, right?”
“Hell ya, we are!” Applejack said enthusiastically.
***
Trixie looked out across the stage to the audience, the place was packed, even all the balconies. It seemed all of Equestria had come to watch the duo perform.
“Trixie! I’m not sure about this. There’s a lot of ponies out there!” Twilight said, stage fright written across her entire body.
“Twilight, there’s nothing to worry about! It’s just some Canterlot ponies, the aristocracy, the royal guard, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, the regular guard, your parents, your brother, your sister in law, uhhh…” Trixie paused for a second. “I think I saw all your friends in the first row, the rest of Ponyville in rows one, two, and three, and also everyone who ever looked down upon you or was jealous of you from ‘Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns’ in rows four, five, six, and seven.
Twilight put on an expression of pure unadulterated horror and dread, quickly said. “Oh, look at that! I left my treehouse on fire and…” Before Twilight could teleport, she started a hacking cough that ended in more bits of pinecone escaping her throat. “WHY DO THEY HAVE TO SCRATCH ON THE WAY BACK UP, TOO?!” She demanded of no one in particular.
“Twilight, please.” Trixie trotted over to Twilight, put a foreleg around her neck, and looked the purple unicorn directly in the eyes. “This is my last chance at redemption. If you don’t help me, Trixie will never be somepony again.”
“…Alright, Trixie. I’ll do it.”
Trixie smiled and the two teleported to the stage to the roaring cheers of the crowd.
***
The acts went well. Twilight compiled as “The Grrrreat and Powerful” Trrrixie sawed her in half, pulled animals out of her ears, stabbed her with swords (or rather, the box containing the purple unicorn), and made her disappear (the last one was considered a low point of the evening, given Twilight could simply teleport out of view).
Finally, there was one trick left.
“…THE WHEEL OF FATE!” Trixie yelled to a crowd of thousands of cheering ponies.
“Not again…” Twilight muttered.
Trixie levitated the wheel in. It was substantially larger than the last ‘wheel of fate’ Twilight had witnessed, and was more of a blue/purple star theme then the colorful rainbow of colors.
Oh yeah, it also had four straps, one for each limb.
“Trixie,” Twilight whispered, “I don’t feel good about this last trick.”
“Trust me!” Trixie insisted. “It’ll knock them dead.”
“It’s not THEM I’m worried about being dead!” Twilight responded, her voice breaking into anger.
Trixie put her hoofs on her assistant’s shoulder “Nothing bad will happen to you, I promise.”
“Pinkie Pie promise?”
“I don’t know what that is.”
“It means if something bad happens to me, you’ll probably be brutally tortured, murdered, and have your remains used as ingredients for baked goods.”
Trixie looked down to the first row, Twilight’s friends were actually close enough to hear the conversation, and Twilight’s Pink Pony friend’s smile of awe and wonder had shifted to one of cruelty and evil.
“Uhhhhhh…”Trixie pondered this for a second and turned back to Twilight, “Pinkie Pie promise.” She answered.
Twilight gulped, nodded solemnly, and let Trixie levitate her onto the wheel and strap her down.
“Great, now I’m going to spin you and throw knives at you.”
“WHAT?!” Twilight shouted with no small amount of fear.
“Oh!” Almost forgot! Trixie produced a blindfold.
“For me?” Twilight asked, afraid she already knew the answer.
“Nope!” Trixie responded, fastening the blindfold around her head with magic.
Twilight sighed and dropped her shoulders, “Of course not…”
Trixie smiled, and gave the wheel a dizzying spin using levitation. One by one, she launched dozens of knives, until she was throwing two and even three at a time. The crowd went silent as the speed of wheel made it impossible to tell what was going on, only the constant “whaAAAaaawhaAAAaawhaaAAaa…” of Twilight being spun around and around offered some small bit of assurance she was Ok.
Slowly, the wheel came to a stop revealing Twilight, and several tight groupings of the knives within inches of her body, and perforating her hat. Twilight looked up at her now mangled hat, let out a quick “Gwah!” and quickly unstrapped herself, and dizzily ran off stage.
The crowd exploded into loud cheering, Trixie taking a bow as flowers fell around her. She turned and trotted back off stage, dragging the wheel behind her.
Twilight was desperately trying to catch her breath.
“YOU PSYCHOTIC LUNATIC!” She shouted, “YOU COULD HAVE…”--Twilight hacked up a bit more pinecone—“…could have…” –cough—“…killed me…”
...Cough.
“Could I?” Trixie asked slyly, shifting the “The Wheel of Fate” to reveal the back, and a series of powerful magnets affixed to key locations, juxtapositioned within inches of the assumed area an occupant would reside.
Twilight gasped. “You mean..?”
Trixie nodded with a happy smile, “Science.” She said simply.
The two unicorns shared a tight embrace.
“Now let’s get back out there! Trixie said, motioning to the stage where the chants of “Twilight, Twilight, Twilight…” could be heard.
“Sure Trixie…”
“YOU RUINED MY HAT!”
The two unicorns turned to face a well-dressed and enraged looking Rarity who had gotten back-stage.
“Sorry Rarity,” Trixie began. “That’s showbiz!” She said smiling.
Rarity responded by gracefully intercepting Trixie’s smiling face with her hoof as hard as the off-white unicorn could muster.
***
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that sometimes you need to give somepony another chance; no matter how they’ve wronged you or what differences you may have.
It could turn out this pony actually has some things in common with you! Also, getting to interact with somepony so different gives them an opportunity to reach inside you and pull out things you didn’t even know existed!
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
***
Twilight smiled down at her letter.
Now where was that baby dragon of hers?
Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Who could that be?” Twilight wondered out loud. She trotted to the door and opened it with her magic to reveal none other than “The Grrrrreat and Powerful” Trixie... with one swollen eye.
“Twilight! Oh thank magic you’re home! I need…”
ZZZZZZZZAAaaaappppp!!!
The purple energy faded from Trixie’s eyes and she looked around her new surroundings.
Around here was nothing but an overcast, desolate, harsh looking landscape as far as the eye could see. In front of her was a cave like a gaping maw in the rock side, the words “All hope abandon ye who enter here”.
“Hmph” Trixie said, closing her eyes and pointing her muzzle skyward. “A simple ‘No’ would have sufficed.”
