The Incredibly Conflicted Mind of Pinkie Pie

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The Incredibly Conflicted Mind of Pinkie Pie

The Incredibly Conflicted Mind of Pinkie Pie

Ponyville always feels less awesome when Dashie isn’t around. The skies look more boring than usual, ‘cause she isn’t up there doing super awesome tricks. Y’know, flying around in the air and leaving that super cool awesome rainbow streak behind her. Plus, it’s always less awesome not having your fillyfriend around. Yeah, I still had all my friends in Ponyville (scratch that; everypony), but none of them were like my Dashie.

She was out with Cloud Kicker for a couple days—maybe a bit too long, but it was important. Cloud’s mom was in some sorta trouble. Whether she was in trouble or in trouble though, I wasn’t too sure since I didn’t really get the details. It sounded like not even Cloud herself knew for sure. I tried to go with them to help out, but I was convinced not to ‘cause I can’t fly like they can.

So when I was drinking soda at Sugarcube Corner with my bestest friends a couple of days later, I got really annoyed when I remembered that I could fly.

“Darn!” I cried, slamming my soda cup onto the table. Both Fluttershy and Applejack jumped. Fluttershy made an eepy sound but AJ just let out a little surprised grunt. They glanced at each other when they saw my frown. I don’t have a frowny face all the time, so I could see why they looked a little shocked. But I don’t smile all the time either. That’s the fact of the day for you.

“Somethin’ wrong, sugarcube?” Applejack said, with that weird phrase that I never understood but went along with anyway. Although, some ponies have said my blood was made out of sugar...

“I could’ve gone with Dashie and Cloud,” I grumbled.

Fluttershy went back to sipping her soda. She watched Applejack, who replied with, “Pinkie, we’ve been through this. Any groundpounder like us would’ve just slowed them down, and whatever they’re dealing with sounds urgent.”

“Maybe you might, but I’ve got my flying machine!” The Candycopter Mark II was a machine I built that allowed me join Dashie in the skies. I ate the first one—candy-based contraptions work like a treat. Literally.

Fluttershy stopped drinking, but held her cup close to her mouth. “I don’t think that can keep up with Rainbow.” She had a point there. The Candycopter couldn’t keep up with Dashie when she was trying to hang out with Gilda all that time ago. It was only as fast as I was because I propelled it myself.

But Fluttershy’s point wasn’t pointy enough. “Yeah, but Cloud can’t either,” I replied, stealing a quick sip at my soda.

Applejack sighed. “Even so, ya can’t go after them now. Celestia only knows where they are now.”

That was when a light bulb appeared above my head, as they tended to do when I get clever ideas. “Yes! I can go ask Celestia where they are! Thanks AJ!” I got up and almost zoomed outta there, but Applejack grabbed my tail just as I moved. She was stronger than me—a lot stronger, actually—so I completely stopped and fell flat on the floor.

Oh, and Mr. Cake also walked over and took the light bulb, then he went off again. We have a lot of spare light bulbs.

“Hold on, Pinkie,” Applejack said, helping me up. “Ya can’t jus’ march on over and demand that she help you.”

I scrunched up my muzzle. “Why not? She’s my friend.” Maybe she was royalty, but status and fancy-schmancy titles didn’t matter when it came to friends.

“A very busy friend,” Applejack answered, guiding me back into my seat.

“I guess you’re right.” I slumped down, resting my head on the table. I hoped that Dashie would come in and bring me out of this lousy mood, but I didn’t even know where she was, and that just made me feel lousier. “I wish they’d come back soon.” I blew at the strand of hair that dangled over my face.

“I’m sure they will,” Fluttershy reassured. Her voice sounded more gentle than it usually was, if that was even possible. She paused, and gazed into her cup. “And I’m sure they’ll be alright...” She sounded shakier then. I guess she missed them too.

And who could blame her? Dashie was the bestest, most awesomest and super-duper cutest pony in the world! Her courage, confidence and energy never stop impressing me. She’s never boring at all, either! And to top it all off, under all that coolness was an adorable teddy bear!

I hadn’t cuddled her in days, much less seen her! I had given lots of hugs to other ponies, but they never felt the same as Dashie’s did. I couldn’t really kiss them either because that’d be weird. I can’t see Dashie liking that, either.

I felt a strong hoof rub my back, Applejack’s. I chugged down the rest of my soda, until it made the poppy straw noises that let you know there’s not much left in there. My ears perked just a little when she put a foreleg around me. “Thanks, Applejack.”

“Anytime, sugarcube,” she said with a smile. And that made me smile too, which was great! And me smiling made Fluttershy smile as well, so we were all smiling!

And suddenly, for a little while, the lack of Dashie didn’t seem so bad.

But that’s when the weirdest thing happened! Just as I was getting to grips with not having Dashie around, Derpy came barreling into the building, knocking over a few tables in her wake as she tried to land. Silly Derpy.

She recovered, flashing a goofy smile, but it soon faded. She bit her lip and walked over, holding an envelope in her forehoof. She wasn’t wearing her mailmare uniform either, so this wasn’t just a standard delivery.

We crowded around her, reading the signs she was showing. Not literally, but y’know. Applejack was the first to speak. “Is something wrong, Derpy?”

She nodded quickly, then fumbled around to get the letter out of the envelope. I noticed it was already open, which was kinda odd, ‘cause then she’d ruined the surprise of whatever was inside for herself. But when I read the letter, I saw the surprise. It was a really really bad one.

Blossomforth had written to Derpy about some bad news. Now, I didn’t know Blossomforth had gone off with them, but that wasn’t the real surprise. According to the letter, Cloud’s mom had—she had—

She was gone.

Everything went silent. Not the companionable silence you get with your bestest friends, but the silence that seems to coat everything and everypony with a heavy sense of shock. For a moment, none of us moved. I physically couldn’t.

Fluttershy swallowed a lump in her throat. “Where are Cloud and Rainbow...?”

That made me snap back into action. “Yeah, where are Dashie and Cloud?”

“Canterlot. Resting from the ordeal, probably,” Derpy said, frowning. But it was the determined kinda frown Dashie sometimes wore. “First thing tomorrow, I’m going there.”

“Me too,” Fluttershy piped up, unusually sternly for herself. But that said, she was improving on being more assertive and that was A-OK with me.

“Me three!” I chirped, bouncing once. I would have bounced more, but I had to suppress my excitement for seeing Dashie again. Everypony still looked tense. I blinked, remembering something important, but not as much as what was going on. “I’ll have to take a later train though. The Cakes kinda need my help in the morning.”

They all nodded at me, then turned to Applejack. “Ah’ll have to stay here, sadly. I got too much work on my hooves at the farm, plus Ah’m not as close to Cloud as y’all are. That said, tell her that Ah give her my deepest condolences and that Ah wish her the best.”

Derpy forced a smile onto her face. You can tell when a smile is like that, ‘cause it’s not as seamless as a normal smile. It’s kinda stilted and looks a bit wrong. “Thanks, Applejack. I’ll go and get packed right away.”

She started to go, but I zipped out in front of her, wobbling when I came to a stop. “Wait! What about your girls?! Somepony’s gotta look after them, and Dashie can’t ‘cause she’s in Canterlot and—”

Derpy put her hoof in my mouth. I’ve gotten used to ponies doing that now. I quickly learned not to lick them when they do that. “I’ll take them with me, Pinkie, but thanks for the concern.”

That made sense. Derpy was their mom and nothing would change that. It would have been a bad move for her to leave her kids, especially at a time like this. You don’t seperate family. Never ever ever ever ever. Unless it was for a super important reason, and trust me, I know what qualifies as one of them.

Fluttershy and Derpy began to trot out of the place, but not before I could give them goodbye hugs. I got ‘em two-in-one, squeezing them both with each of my forelegs. “See you real soon, yeah?” I pulled away a bit without breaking contact. “Give Cloudy my bestest regards.”

“We will,” Fluttershy replied. The two of them then shared a glance and walked out, leaving just me and Applejack behind. That was okay though, since it wasn’t a party of one just yet. I still had to pack, yeah, but me and Jackie could still—

“Ah suppose you’ll be wanting to pack, sugarcube?”

Oh, right. That could work too. “I guess, but we could still have some fun together!” I said, just in case she changed her mind.

But she shook her head and prepared to leave, taking steps towards the door. “Ah’d love to, Pinkie, but Ah should be gettin’ back to the farm.”

“Okey dokey lokey!” I waved at her and gave her a cupcake as she went out; I know how hard it is working with food and not being able to eat it. The first few weeks staying at Sugarcube Corner were particularly tough.

When she was gone, I trotted into the kitchen and told the Cakes about tomorrow and the news. They said I could’ve gone now if I wanted to, but I still wanted to help them tomorrow. They reluctantly agreed, and I went upstairs into my room. Gummy was on my bed, waiting for me. A lot of ponies say that he can’t talk. Well, duh! He’s an alligator! But what he does do is give ponies looks, and from them I can usually deduce what he’s trying to say. It sounds crazy, and not many ponies can read him like I can, but when was the last time you stared an alligator in the face?

I galloped to the bed and picked him up, spinning around for a little bit. “Guess what, Gummy? I’m gonna see Dashie real soon! Like, tomorrow soon! Which is less than twenty-four hours!” I gently dropped him, then bounced super high without slamming my head on the ceiling. I used to do that a lot. The cracks are still there. “And I just can’t wait! Omigosh, it’s going to be so excitiiing!!!”

Gummy stared at me, giving me a look that probably said something like, Why is Dashie in Canterlot?

I slowed my descent so I wouldn’t crash onto the floor. Frowning,I said, “Cloud’s mom... she...”

Passed?

“Yeah, that. Thanks.” I don’t like saying words like that. They’re not words to be used lightly.

I cantered over to my wardrobe and gazed through the many different clothes I had. Rarity didn’t call them clothes, she called them ‘costumes’. I don’t see much of a difference really, since you wear both of them. I was trying to look for a suit for the funeral, which I knew would happen.

I felt a pair of eyes upon me, so I turned to look at Gummy. “What was that, Gummy?”

He blinked. I don’t think you’ll need to pack much. And where will you be staying?

I shrugged, finding and taking a suit carefully from the wardrobe. Kinda like the one I wore when handing out Gummy’s birthday invites, but more dapper. “Probably where Dashie is. She won’t be against me bunking with her.” Actually, the idea of sleeping with Dashie really sounded nice, ‘cause then it’d be like a sleepover, but it’d only be with my fillyfriend!

I brought out my saddlebags (white with my cutie marks on them!) and put my tux inside. I also put in other necessities like toiletries and cupcakes and stuff. It all ended up being pretty light since I had hidden a few things in Canterlot when I had last visited. Closing them up, I hopped onto the bed and put Gummy on my belly.

“Hee hee, I’m just so super-excited to see her!” I giggled, flailing my hoovesies in the air. A thought then came into my head which put an end to my enthusiasm. As thrilled as I was, it was kinda coming at the cost of Cloud Kicker and her family... “Gummy, am I bad for being happy about seeing Dashie?”

He walked off me, blinking again. You’re not happy Cloud’s mom passed, are you?

“What?!” I cried, falling off the bed. My mane cushioned my head from the fall. “Of course not! That would be a terrible thing to feel good about!”

Gummy peered down at me. Then don’t feel bad about seeing Dashie, silly. He then plodded off, as he tends to do.

He had a point, but I still had to remember why this was happening in the first place. Cloudy’s mom was gone, so I had to do my best to cheer her up. It was my duty to do so! Yeah, seeing Dashie would be amazing, but I had a lot of time for that. Cheering up Cloud took priority. Y’know if you’re trying to lose weight but there’s a really tasty snack nearby you just wanna gobble up? Yeah, I was kinda feeling like that. My heart wanted to see Dashie so bad, but my mind was telling me that Cloud was more important at the moment.

I hopped back onto my bed and stared at the ceiling hoping that this trip wouldn’t turn into a complete downer for everypony.

After I had helped the Cakes baking treats for the day and looking after the twins, I set off to the train station. True to their word, Derpy and Fluttershy were already gone. Some others had too: Rarity, Lyra and Cloud’s sister, Alula. The only reason I knew that was because I asked the ticket vendor who had come in this morning. He gave me their descriptions, even if he did look at me funny. I was surprised Rarity was coming along, but maybe she was cooking two cupcakes with one oven, what with her business ‘n’ all.

Sitting on the platform, it was a little disappointing to see that nopony would be joining me—travelling on your own gets really lonely after a while. The train hadn’t even arrived yet, and already I was getting bored, tapping my hindhoof like an angry rabbit.

Thankfully, the wheeze of steam and the chuga-chuga-choo-choo of the train came along soon enough, stopping me from making a hole in the floor. It slowly came to a stop and the doors opened. I stepped aside to let the old passengers get off. Only when it was clear did I come aboard. There were a few ponies in the seats looking uninterested, so I left them alone. After meeting Cranky Doodle, I was a lot more careful about interacting with strangers.

I took my seat and waited for the journey to begin—although I guessed it already did when I left Sugarcube Corner... still! The train took a while to get going, probably ‘cause the driver was on break or something. I’m not sure if the drivers of trains to Canterlot have spotted the emergency cupcakes and fizzy juice I put in their compartments.

Once the train got going, I got a mix of anticipation in me. How do I describe it? Hmmm… oh! Nervouscited! Half of me was thrilled to see Dashie again, the other dreading seeing all the sad faces of my friends and other ponies. The worst thing was that I knew I wouldn’t be able to make them smile for a quite a bit. I’m no stranger to funerals. I like to think I gave Granny Pie a proper send off, to repay her for all the advice she gave me when I was just a filly, among other things.

The train ride was pretty boring, to say the least. Everything that was exciting about it had been done already! The first time you pull up to Canterlot is magical, the next exciting, the third cool, and beyond that… meh, you get used to it. So no, nothing fun happened on the train ride, making it drag on forever.

Things picked up when the train slowed down and stopped at Canterlot (Isn’t that ironic?). I stepped onto the platform, which was quite busy. There were loads of ponies I didn’t really recognize and as far as I could tell, nopony was waiting for me. Not that it mattered, since I hadn’t planned this trip in advance.

Using my deduction skills, I assumed that Dashie would not, in fact, be staying at the castle. Cloudy needed all the friends she could get, which probably meant that everypony was in her clan hold. It’s not something you can miss: it sits in its own little part of Canterlot like it owns the place. It looked old, but magnificent old, not frail old. The walls had a granite texture to them and were red ‘cause of their high feldspar content. They probably chose that rock because that’s what the Kicker’s color was, but blood was red too. Eck.

And that’s not even mentioning what’s within! It’s like a whole little settlement unto itself in there, with houses and barracks and places for leisure, including one place I’ve been told not to go into, but I know what it is. Not much escapes The Pink. (It’s a brothel, by the way.)

As I approached the gates, the guards gave me these stone-faced looks. I looked at the Equestrian flag and the Kicker clan banner. Or rather, where they should have been. Flags flying low were always a sign of mourning.

I felt a pang of sympathy for the guards, having to keep such a stoic appearance despite what had just happened. But that’s part of having a brave face. You act strong when other ponies are feeling weak, because strength transfers from one pony to another like a crowd doing a wave. It’s surprising how much a smile can change somepony’s day. That’s why I do it so much.

I trotted towards the gates and oddly enough, I didn’t get stopped or anything. The guards didn’t even bat an eye at me, which was weird, because if they were guards then what were they guarding? Their dignity? I slowed down, peering at them as I entered the compound proper. They didn’t even move.

I figured they were having an off day, so I moved back past them and started going in again. No actions were made. It didn’t feel right just meandering into a compound like that, so I backpedaled and gave the guards loads of space to stop me. I took slow steps, taking my sweet time to approach the gate. “Oh look!” I shouted, making sure my words were nice and slow. “A random pony is gonna enter the Kicker compound! Oh, woe is me, who will stop them?!”

The guard on my right shot me a small scowl. “Is there something we can help you with, miss?”

Yes! I had their attention, now I just had to try and enter. I grinned at him, not stopping for a second. “Juuuuuuuuuuust gonna enter the compound. Nopony's gonna stop me. No siree!”

The guard on my left, a sky blue pegasus, flicked his ear. “The compound is open to the public, miss.”

I came to a halt, blinking. That was a bit of a shock. The first time I went to Canterlot Castle with Twilight, all of us except her had to go through all sorts of security checks and stuff. “Really? Huh.” I plonked down and opened up my saddlebags, placing a number of bits on the floor. The guards gave me wary looks, but I kept going until I had a fair amount on the ground. “So how much is admission?”

Right Guard let out a little snort. “There’s no admission fee.”

“Oh! Okey dokey.” That was a bit of a relief. This place looked pretty expensive. I heard you could buy tours in Canterlot Castle, but those were a couple hundred bits a pop. I put my bits away and then got out a quill and ink.

Lefty sighed in a resigned manner. “What now, miss?”

I looked at the both of them for a while, wondering when they would bring out what I was looking for. “Where do I sign?”

“There's nothing to sign. Just walk in,” the left guard said, gesturing to the inside of the compound.

I blinked quite slowly that time, my mind close to blowing up. “I can just literally walk in? No terms and conditions? No loopholes? No incurred costs? No hoops to jump through? No red tape? What about blue tape? Is there no smoking? No—”

“Yes. You can walk in without doing anything,” said Righty, twitching slightly.

Huh. Maybe the fortress and the guards were just for show then? I shrugged, then put away my things. “Alright, thanks!” I began heading in, then suddenly stopped; I wanted to make sure that nothing I could do would get me arrested by these two. “Wait! One more question.”

Lefty closed his eyes, taking in and letting out a deep breath. “Yes, Miss?”

“Can I bounce in?” Hey, it pays to be extra sure of things.

“You may enter in whatever manner you wish, so long as you comply with Canterlot law,” he answered.

“Canterlot has no laws against bouncing,” the other guard deadpanned.

Content with that, I gave them a bright smile. “Okey dokey lokey, thanks! Have a terrific day!” With that dealt with, I bounced inside the compound. It’s like a settlement in a city, for reals. Ponies walked around like they did back in Ponyville, although a lot more were wearing armor. There were a lot less smiles as well, which I expected. Sadly, as much as I wanted to try and do one, a song and dance routine wouldn’t cure the somber atmosphere.

I decided to focus on finding Dashie first and ignore the others around me. I didn’t like doing it, it felt really selfish, but I didn’t want to get depressed over the fact that I couldn’t make others happy, and then me depressed would make Dashie depressed. Unless she already was...

Gah! My mind was all in a tizzy. I wasn’t sure if I was selfish for wanting to see Dashie when Cloud’s mom was gone. But if Dashie wanted to see me, then would I still be selfish? Were we both being selfish? I planned on finding out about the funeral and going there, so did it all balance out? I suppose I was doing both, seeing Dashie and supporting Cloudy, but would they see it like that? Argh! Too many questions!

So yeah, my brain was a whirlwind of confusing activity. It got to the point where Dashie got the jump on me!

“Pinkie?”

Okay, so she didn’t leap on me or anything. She sounded more confused. Not that it stopped me from leaping on her, though. “Dashie!” I didn’t fight the urge to give her a cuddle of epic proportions. I heard a little yelp from her as I squeezed her, taking in the sensation of the hug. Really, it had been way too long.

Dashie let out a few strangled noises, frantically tapping me on the shoulder. I quickly loosened my grip on her, but kept close. She caught her breath, lightly returning the embrace. “Pinks, what are you doing here?”

I took time with my response, talking slower than I normally would’ve. “I heard what happened, so I’m here to see you and Cloud.”

“Huh, okay,” Dashie replied, all nonchalant. I think that meant I had answered good. “Well, it’s good to see you.”

“You too!” I nuzzled her cheek, beaming. She felt really soft, so it felt real nice. “Didja miss me?”

“Things have been a lot more boring.” Yeah, she definitely had. I’m almost fluent in Dash-ese. Some of her habits still escape me though.

“I missed you. Like this much!” I spread my forelegs out wide—about the width of a pony and a bit. I have my limits on how much I can stretch my body, but they always seem to be higher than most ponies. Dashie just snorted at me; she’s used to this stuff by now. I moved onto another important topic. “When’s the funeral?”

Dashie blinked. “Funeral?”

Oops, looks like she was being silly again. It wasn’t a bad thing at all, just her being her. And I loved her. “For Cloud’s mom, duh.”

“Oh, that.” Dashie scratched at her neck. “A couple days. Gonna be real boring, though. Lots of ceremonial guard stuff and all that.”

“We can get through the boringness together,” I suggested. Things were rarely ever boring with her around, even during the bad times.

Then she started shuffling on the spot, which made it a bit awkward to keep hugging her, so I released her. “It’s not... er, it’s not really your thing Pinks.”

That got a frown out of me. What the heck did she mean by that? “Whatcha mean, ‘not really your thing’?”

“Y’know...” She shrugged and looked away from me. “No dancing. No fun food or anything like that. It’s quiet, reserved and ... yeah, boring.”

I wasn’t sure I wanted to know where this was going. Dashie wasn’t just being silly now, she was being suspicious. “I don’t care if it’s boring, you know. I’m there for Cloudy, not myself.”

She was just staring at the ground, rubbing the back of her head and not even noting my annoyed scowl. “Look, Pinkie, a funeral isn’t a celebration, y’know?”

Something inside me just snapped, like a twig, except twigs don’t release a tidal wave of emotion when you break them. “You think I’m going to mess this up or something?! Besides, it is a celebration—a celebration of a pony’s life! But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna start handing out cupcakes, or singing songs, or dancing!”

Dashie flinched, taking a step back. I saw her wings twitch, a classic sign that she was getting riled up. “Pinkie, I’m not saying that!”

Well she was saying something. I can read between the invisible lines that come out of ponies’ mouths. “Then what are you saying?”

“I—um, look—” She just fumbled into incomprehensible mutters. My patience was at an end. I wanted answers and I just wasn’t getting them. Maybe I was blowing up a bit too soon, but the way I saw it, she didn’t want me here at all. Not to see her and not to support Cloud either. She wanted to deny me of the very things I had set out to do. When ponies do that, it usually gets me really mad.

“What?!” I screamed.

Bad move on my part. Dashie’s wings unfolded, spreading out wide, and her legs did too. She was holding her ground, frowning deeply. I could see a bead of sweat trickle down her face. I had committed the biggest sin with her; backed her into a corner. Now she was going to explode, like a party popper.

No, party poppers are fun things. What happened next was certainly not that.

“You didn’t know Nimbus and you don’t know the rest of Cloud’s family! Hay—” She stopped, breathing a ragged breath. “Look, you don’t know her like I do. I’m not sure if you’d be even welcome, so just... back off, okay?!”

Rainbow Dash can be really loud and scary sometimes. It was enough to shatter my anger into tiny little pieces. I stood there, staring at her, my ears drooping.

“You don’t want me there, do you?” I was quiet that time, trying my best to keep my voice from going all wobbly. I didn’t succeed.

Rainbow sighed, rubbing her face. “No, it’s not that—”

“It is.” I sniffed and turned away from her. “You could’ve just told me...”

Rainbow let out a frustrated moan. “Pinkie, wait!”

I didn’t. My eyes were stinging. Ow. I walked away from her, not sure if she tried to keep up with me or anything. Feeling too much to even think straight, I headed out of the compound.

It’s never fun when somepony prevents me from making others feel better. It makes me really mad. The upset kinda mad where you just want to scream, not the fury I get when somepony breaks a Pinkie Promise. I don’t like either of them, but the latter is easier to deal with.

I knew where I was going for the night. I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but an advantage of being an Element bearer was that you were a friend of the Princesses, which meant you could enter the castle whenever.

The walk there was the hardest part. Not because my nose was getting all runny. Not because my vision was getting blurry. It was because I kept smiling.

As a friend and now an Element bearer, it was my duty to keep ponies happy. And I couldn’t do that if I looked unhappy. So I keep smiling. I have to. Ponies look to me to perk them up. And that’s great! Really, I love it. It just means that there’s nopony to perk me up.

I approached the castle, headed past the guards and went inside. Thank goodness they didn’t take a moment to look at my face—my smile was trembling at this point. They say it takes more muscles to make a frown than to smile. I’m not so sure. It takes loads of strength to keep being happy, especially during a really bad day.

I picked up the pace in the halls, since I really couldn’t keep up my image any more. I tried… honestly. I did my best, but now my breathing was coming out in shudders. A room for me wasn’t assured either, so I’d have to sneak around a bit. There were loads of empty rooms in the castle for visitors so I had to be careful and pick one that wasn’t occupied. I’m sure the Princesses wouldn’t mind.

I went up in one of the towers, sneaking past the guards as I went. ‘My’ room was simple, but refined. I’d go into more detail, but I wasn’t paying attention. Instead, I was crying onto the white bedsheets.

If you think I was overreacting, then please listen. Rainbow and me had our differences, and we didn’t always see eye-to-eye. We weren’t always happy either. Sometimes one of us would get mad and we would have to talk it over and sort things out. Arguments weren’t out of the question either, but they were always directed at something else and were usually one-sided.

What made this different was that this was the first fight we ever had with each other. Both of us were upset and everything we had said was directed at us. And the one thing I kept asking myself was: why?

I thought she would’ve been happy to see me and to have me there to support her and Cloud. I know she was in a bad situation—the passing of a pony is never easy to deal with—but it’s like she wanted me out of the whole equation. Like she didn’t trust me or something.

Looking back on it, I guess we both messed up, but that didn’t make it any less painful.

I wiped my eyes, my tears having stained the bed sheets. Did this mean that I wasn’t going to the funeral? Heck no. It takes a lot more to stop Pinkamena Diane Pie from honoring a pony’s memory.

And I was gonna do it no matter what.

The next couple days were spent trying to recharge my happy batteries. Yesterday drained them more than I thought, so I had to eat lots of cupcakes, sing lots of songs and make strangers’ days to make me feel right again. Uncertainty and doubt still lingered, but I could bury all that under a bundle of joy.

Through eavesdropping, I found out the exact time and date of the funeral from a variety of Kickers. None were Cloudy’s close family, so don’t worry; I wouldn’t peek at them in their time of distress.

Decked in my tuxedo, I set off before the light of dawn. Yeah, they picked a pretty weird time to have a funeral. I could think of reasons why though: either it was clan tradition, or they didn’t want any ponies disturbing them. Both worked for me.

Walking through an empty Canterlot just gave me the creeps. I couldn’t see anypony out and about, which was disturbing, even if I knew that they were dreaming. I was tempted to see if my voice would echo through the streets.

Again, as I came up to the compound, I expected to be stopped at the gates. I recognized the guards as ones from the castle. Actually, I knew them: Buckler and Pierce. Nice guys, especially when they’re not on duty. We shared a nod as I walked past.

Once I was in, I could see flickering lights in the distance. On closer inspection, it was a trail of torches, a line of ponies following them into the cemetery. I sneakily snuck around the edge and took cover behind one of the gravestones that was obscured in darkness. I took extra precautions to prevent myself from standing on the actual grave.

The gravestones here were incredibly simple. Just stones in the ground with the name of the pony who had passed, and two other words: “For Equestria.” I’m not sure I agreed with the simplicity of it all. I think everypony’s grave should have something to represent who they were. Everypony is different and they should remembered and represented as such.

I didn’t get a careless vibe from them though. They felt strong in their unity, like an army. They may have been uniform, but that’s how they were in life, I guess. Soldiers. And I strongly doubted that each Kicker forgot about the ones before them.

Only one grave stood out from the rest: the tomb for Shadow Kicker. I wasn’t too aware of who she was, but I think she was a hero for the Kicker Clan. Must’ve been, since her tomb was real grand. Surrounded by columns with clouds on top that did look very fluffy, was a statue of Shadow herself. She looked pretty intimidating, with the light just touching her, shadows dancing on her face.

In the center of a ring of torches was where the real ceremony was taking place. Seeing all of them file out and spread around the new grave, I watched Rainbow as she walked along in a suit similar to mine. I sucked in a breath. Then I spotted her.

Cloudy approached with an older stallion that must have been her dad, and her little sister, Alula. I bit my lip, my heart feeling constricted. Two fillies had just lost their mother and it was ... way, way, way too soon.

To the side were Celestia and Luna, and I felt glad that they had turned up. Their presence alone must have given everypony there a lot more strength. I glanced at them and saw Celestia turn her head slightly. We locked eyes. Her expression was stoic and she just looked back to the proceedings.

I ducked right behind the gravestone and started biting my hooves. Was she angry at me? Sad, disappointed, concerned, annoyed? Oh, just darn her poker face! I cut my losses and decided to keep watching. If she wanted to take me up on this, then I would explain myself without fear. What I was doing was respectful, if maybe questionable. But ponies question me all the time.

I could see the coffin, but not her. I felt like I had to, just to see who this pony was. Going down close to the ground, I slunk closer through the rows of graves, ending up about only one row away from the gathering. The tricky part came next. I speedily rose up, stretched my neck and looked into the coffin, then ducked back down like a elastic band.

I managed to catch her name: Nimbus Gust. She had a yellow coat and a short brown mane and a lovely tail. She was also wearing a really pretty looking red robe. There was a smile on her face that looked so peaceful. She looked beautiful.

I wish we had met. Maybe we could’ve been really good friends. We could’ve talked for hours and hours, done lots of fun things together, like take nice walks, sing, or dance at a crazy party.

I’m not a pony who focuses on what could’ve been, though. I put all my attention on the here and now, and at the moment all I had to do was show respect for the fallen. I would have done more, but being here was enough and I didn’t want to break my cover.

Then Cloud’s dad approached the casket. He bowed his head and I could see his lips moving. Then his shoulders bobbed and I saw the tears. I desperately hoped that despite the love of his life being gone, joy would remain for him.

After a few moments, he went back to his daughters. Cloudy gave him a hug, which looked really nice and comforting. She sure knows how actions can make a pony feel that much better. I felt a little proud of her.

Then Alula ran from them, coming up to the coffin. Cloud joined her, helping her up so she could look at her mommy for the last time. She looked so confused and each time she poked at Nimbus with her muzzle just hurt. Then when things looked final, her eyes began to water up. But instead of crying, she gave a stiff salute. I knew how she was feeling, right there and then, but she was braver than me.

That little filly, bless her heart, is getting a party back in Ponyville no matter what anypony says. I swear it. It’ll have a ball pit and lots and lots of cake and a bouncy castle and loads of streamers and—sorry, you get the idea.

Cloud helped ‘Lula back to her dad, leaving just her and Nimbus. She did the right thing, simply kissing her mom and saying a few words. I read her lips, understanding that what she said was all that needed to be said. Speeches are great (some of them can even be funny if written well!) but nothing compares to a simple ‘I love you’.

Then came the speeches. Celestia did the first one, then other ponies came up that I didn’t know. A black stallion with a patchy coat and a blue-and-white mane made the last speech. When that was done, everypony started to leave together. I was tempted to follow them, but I waited until the cemetery was empty. There was one final thing I wanted to do first.

The cemetery empty, I went up to the the new grave and sat in front of it. Clearing my throat so I wouldn’t mess up, I began to speak.

“Hi. This might seem really silly, since we don’t know each other—but I would’ve liked to, really—but, uh, yeah. I just wanna say thank you. Thanks for bringing Cloudy and Alula into the world, ‘cause they’re very special ponies who are great friends to a lot of others. And without them, I think the world would be a much sadder place. So, thanks again, and have a good rest, yeah? You’ll be remembered, Pinkie Promise.” I performed the actions, then gave the tombstone a small smile.

“Did you think it was a good send off for her?”

I froze, my hair shooting up and standing on end. I swiveled around on my flank without even moving and I was met with long and elegant white legs. Looking up, I saw that really ancient face that looked really young at the same time. Celestia sure is weird.

I scrambled to my hooves and my lips started flapping. “Princess! I—er, yes, yes it was! But—”

She calmly raised a hoof. “Indeed, I did see you, Pinkie. But I am not mad. Far from it, actually. I am more curious as to what the Element of Laughter was doing hiding in the shadows.” At least she didn’t call me Shirley.

The back of my neck suddenly got this really itchy itch of itchiness, the type that persists and bugs you until you scratch it away. “Y’know… being respectful.”

Celestia’s face did not change expression. Must have been really hard, keeping up such a neutral expression all the time. I couldn’t read her at all, it was that much. Some ponies say that I’m a mystery, but Celestia is the real one here. Note to self: examine her with my magnifying glass.

“I am sure that your friends would have appreciated you being by their side.” She didn’t sound disappointed, angry or any of that bad stuff, just like… her, really. Her voice isn’t one you forget.

“Well, yeah… I didn’t wanna distract them though.” My ears had lowered. Silly ears. I brought them back up.

Celestia raised her eyebrow, only by a teeny weeny little bit. “I think we both know that you would act respectful as an event such as this.”

Now my foreleg was getting itchy. “Yeah, well…” I stopped scratching it and forced a grin on my face. “I guess I’m just a silly pony!”

Her eyebrow settled. She had seen through my act, I knew it. Darn, I knew I should’ve gone through drama school after all. She didn’t say anything at all. Instead, she lowered her head very slightly and stared at me. I started shuffling under her gaze. It was like she was that light that gets shone into your eyes when you’re being interrogated, or something.

What was really amazing is that she didn’t have to speak to get me to talk. Kinda a shame, actually, ‘cause I think her and Luna would make an amazing good-cop-bad-cop routine. Oh well, details. Speaking of details (see, I was going somewhere with that), I was blabbering them right there and then. Kind of.

“Well I wasn’t specifically invited and I didn’t want to be a funeral crasher because those ponies are jerks. Actually, have you ever heard of one? ‘Cause I haven’t. Probably a good thing too, right? I mean, there’s evil and there’s downright despicable! And—”

I can’t remember if that was a failed tactic to get Celestia’s eye off the ball, or I was just going off-tangent again. It’s probably a bad time to mention that I’m not the most reliable narrator, right? Not that it matters riiiight now; she was still giving me that look, that I remember for sure. This time she actually said something though. “Troubles arising with Rainbow Dash?”

I took in such a huge gasp, I think I accidentally swallowed a fly. “How did you know she was my fillyfriend?!”

“The day you two became such, you sent me many letters informing me of the good news.” A small but genuine smile crossed her face. “You also sent some to Luna and Cadence.”

My eyes blinked. “Cadenwhonow?”

“Princess Mi Amore Cadenza,” she answered plainly.

I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead, searching through my friend database. Nothing for a ‘Mi Amore Cadenza’ came up. Not a peep. Zilch. Zero. “I have no idea who that is!” I exclaimed, opening my eyes. “But that sure sounds like a funny name! Wait, is Cadence her nickname, meaning her first name and the one she should be referred to be is Mi? Also—”

“Regardless,” Celestia cut above me, making me silent. It was forceful, but in a gentle way. It’s tricky to explain. Imagine Cheerilee trying to settle down her class without raising her voice. “If that truly is what is troubling you, then perhaps spending a day with Rarity might help? It may clear your mind, and no doubt she has advice of her own.”

“Wait, why can’t you just give me advice?” I asked. Legitimately, it was a legitimate question.

Then Celestia actually had her mouth open and nothing came out! I had actually stunned her somehow! I dunno why, but it looked kinda funny. “Erm… reasons.”

Ooooooh. Okay, that made sense. I nodded eagerly. “Royal reasons, right?”

Her face returned to the same poker face she always wore. “Yes, royal reasons indeed. Speaking of which, I must attend to them now. Farewell, Pinkie Pie. I hope things turn out for the best.”

“I hope so too. Bye Celestia!” I said, right as she spread those massive wings of hers. Did she have a royal preener? That must be one heck of a job. She took off, creating a gust of wind that kicked up some of the soil. I dunno why she didn’t just teleport. Maybe she prefers the scenery.

I knew what I was going to do tomorrow. Spend the day with Rarity and simply have fun. Felt like waaaay too long since I last did that. I trotted back to the castle, a spring in my step, looking forward to tomorrow.

Ever tried hiding in a drawer? It’s kinda cramped and stuffy, but you get used to it after a while. At least the drawer in Rarity’s room didn’t smell bad. See, it was the morning and she was still asleep. I didn’t want to disturb her, so I was lying in wait for her to wake up. Oh, and the door was locked so I couldn’t go in that way.

Keep this between us, ‘cause she’d kill me if she ever knew, but Rarity snores. It wasn’t like a piggy snore, more like a quieter snore. So basically, ‘zzzzzz’ as opposed to ‘zzzzzzzzzzzz’.

How long had I been here again? Let’s see, I got up at seven, then I went and had some breakfast, then I brushed my teeth and sang the brushie brush song, then I had a quick wash and sang the Scrubby Scrub Song (a duet with Harry the rubber duck) and snuck into Rarity’s room at roughly eight… so I had been here almost an hour.

An hour. That’s sixty minutes. And each minute is like an hour for seconds. I had waited for sixty second-hours. And that meant boredom was setting in. I can never stay in one place for too long; I’m just a beehive of activity that way.

There was a rattling sound, which was odd ‘cause Rarity was still asleep—oh, wait.

That was me shaking in the drawer. If I didn’t get out and do something soon, I would explode! Oh, you think I’m joking. I don’t blow up, but there are explosions. And confetti. I’m trying to work on this, believe me.

Biting my lip, I couldn’t hold on any longer. I pushed open the drawer and stepped out, trying to be as quiet as possible. Not an easy feat when your teeth are chattering.

The room was fairly simple, this being the Kicker Compound. Two beds, a drawer, a wardrobe, a mirror—all that good stuff. Simple but tasteful designs, too. Rarity was in one of the beds, wearing an eye mask. And she made it look good.

I briefly considered hiding under the bed and pretending to be a monster, but I was reminded of the time I did that to Twilight. She described the damages to the library as astronomical.

A mirror stood in the corner of the room, opposite the bed. My salvation! I lightly trotted over to it and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Then I started to make funny faces, which was enough to occupy me for a bit. Sticking my tongue out, I realised just how long it was. My muzzle was easily in licking range. I amused myself for a little while and that was enough.

“Bored now,” I said. Or rather, my reflection did. Then she walked off. I really had to teach her some manners later.

Turned out though that I had timed everything perfectly. My ears twitched, picking up the sounds of Rarity stirring in bed. Grinning, I stealthily went back to my hiding place in the drawer, leaving it open just a little bit so I could see when the right opportunity to appear was.

Something pointy was poking into my side pokingly. I shuffled a bit, batting it up with my tail so I could get a looksie. It turned out to be a picture of Applejack, and for some reason it had a lip mark on it.

I broke my attention away from that when I heard Rarity sit up and let out a graceful yawn. I gave her a few seconds, then…

“Good morning, Rarity!” I announced, hopping out of the drawer.

“Gaah-AAAAH!!!” she screamed, fumbling and falling out of bed. She got up to her hooves in double time, looking around the room. In hindsight, saying hello when her eye mask was still on wasn’t the best of ideas. “Who goes there, ruffian?! I assure you, you will not have your way with me!” she cried, getting up on her hind hooves and assuming a fighting stance. It looked kinda silly in her slippers and dressing gown.

“Rarity, wait, it’s me—”

“HIYAH!!!”

A powerful kick to the drawer sent me back inside. Bother. I moved down a level, sliding out at the bottom. “Pinkie! Me Pinkie!!!” I shouted frantically.

“Pinkie?!” She got back on her four hooves and rested the eye mask above her horn. Looking down at me, she snorted, wearing a deep frown. “Pinkamena Diane Pie! It is extremely rude to wake up a lady. Why, I could have gotten you hurt by mistake!”

“Sorry Rarity,” I apologised, climbing out of the drawer. “But I couldn’t wait any longer. And when I saw that you were waking up, I got super excited!”

Rarity rubbed her face, groaning. Even her bed mane still looked pretty good and she didn’t smell bad at all. “Pinkie.”

“Yeah?” I replied with a smile.

She gave me a hard stare. “How long have you been hiding in my room?”

“I wanna saaaaay, hm…” I tapped my chin thinkingly. “About an hour or so?”

“And why aren’t you in Ponyville?”

“Because I went to the funeral yesterday,” I answered, nodding, my mane shaking about.

Rarity blinked a total of two times. “Pinkie, I certainly didn’t see you at the service or the reception.”

“I know! I was watching from afar.” I coughed. “For reasons. Not royal ones, though. Anywaaaaaaay, are you hungry?” I rapidly moved on, grabbing the picture of AJ from the drawer and wiping away the lip marks. “‘Cause you really shouldn’t try to eat pictures, you know.”

One second she was white like a marshmallow, the next red as red paint—no, wait! A beetroot. “Yes!” She snatched the picture out of my hoof with her magic and stuffed it back in the drawer. “I’m just so famished that I feel positively flushed! Be a dear and get something for me, would you?”

“Okey dokey lokey!” I saluted her then fwooshed off towards the door. That came to a sudden end when I slammed into the door; I forgot it was still locked. There was a loud smack as my face collided with wood.

“Pinkie! Are you alright?!” Rarity cried, helping me from the door. Freeing my face from the door sounded like peeling a sticker from a hard surface.

“I’m fine!” I replied. Okay, so my face did look like a frying pan, but I easily solved that by putting a hoof in my mouth and blowing.

“Honestly, darling, you have to be more careful. One of these days, I swear you’re going to really hurt yourself,” she said, as she got out the room key and unlocked it.

“I know, I know, don’t worry.” My parents used to say things like that a lot, but eventually they coined the phrase ‘Pinkie is as Pinkie does.’ Opening the door, I skipped down the stairs and headed for the castle kitchens. A speedy trip later and I was back, bobbing a tray of waffles, toast with scrumptious raspberry jam and fried eggs.

I thought Rarity would be back in bed, due to the obvious fact that breakfast in bed is great, but she was already out of her bedclothes and sprucing herself up for the day. Her mane was straight and a bit damp, yet it still looked fabulous.

She gave me a passing glance as she looked in the mirror, drying her mane with a towel. “Thank you, Pinkie. Just put it on the bed.” I did just that and noticed that she was staring at me through the reflection. “Darling, as much as I appreciate your company, might I ask what exactly you are doing here? And so early at that.”

“Well Celestia suggested that I spend the day with you and I thought that was a great idea!” I chirped.

“Mhm.” A brush got caught in her levitation and started to run down the left side of her mane. “Any particular reason why she suggested such?”

“Oh, you know. Royal reasons,” I lied. Yes, it was really bad to lie to a friend, but this was just one little white lie. This day was going to be about fun, not filled with more drama.

An image of Rainbow flashed across my mind. I winced. Luckily, Rarity didn’t seem to notice. “Right. I suppose that doesn’t seem like such a bad idea, after yesterday. But you must allow me to get ready.”

“Yeah, of course!” I happily replied.

Rarity seemed to just stop and turned her head my way. “Oh, Pinkie, there is something you could do while you wait for me. Fluttershy got up earlier than me and went out to see Cloud, I believe. It’d be rude to leave her out in the dark, so could you be a dear and tell her our plans for today? I doubt she would want to join now, but I want to make sure she knows where I am.”

“Okey dokey lokey! I can definitely do that!” I answered. Me and my big mouth. I knew exactly where Fluttershy would be—the same place Rainbow was—and I really didn’t want an awkward meeting to happen. I just wasn’t ready to see her again, ‘cause of things, y’know? Give us both time to cool down. Okay, I already had but—blarg, eck, ack.

I realized my mistake the moment I shut the door behind me. The urge to go back in and say I had seen Fluttershy was tempting was strong, but friendship is stronger. Sighing quietly, I made my way out of the buildings to the rest of the Kicker Compound, taking my time with it since Rarity was gonna take her time too.

Kicker guards were back doing what they did best. I would’ve thought that they’d have some sorta leave or something, but then I remembered that they were Kickers; probably loved doing what they do. I understand the importance of the military. They protect all the ponies of Equestria and stuff. But to be honest, you become sorta uninterested with them all when you defeat a God of Chaos with nothing but pretty jewelery and friendship.

Okay, just sneak around, Pinkie, you won’t be noticed by anypony. All those fridge raids in the dead of night at Sugarcube Corner were training for this. Yes, I had a good feeling about this. It was gonna—

“Oh—er… hey Pinks?”

I felt a weird taste on my tongue. Irony, I think. Looking to my left, I saw her, scuffing the ground with a hoof. “Oh, hi Rainbow.”

She exhaled, relaxing a little. “Look—”

“Where’s Fluttershy?” Oops. I kinda blurted that out.

Her wings drooped. Darn it all, I had messed things up already! “Around,” she said with a shrug. Then we went silent, just gazing around, not so subtly looking away if our eyes crossed paths. I really wished I had a knife right there and then.

To cut the awkwardness in the air, of course. It was getting pretty heavy.

“Can you pass on a message?” I finally said.

“Yeah, sure.” Dash blew out some air, making the bangs of her mane dance.

“Could ya tell Fluttershy that me and Rarity are spending the day together?” Oops, forgot the important bit. “Please?”

She looked behind herself, at the Kicker clan buildings, then back at me. The corners of her mouth twitched, as did her wings. “On it.” Then she took off, lacking the usual gusto she had. I tensed up, snorted defiantly, then stomped my hooves.

“Fantastic work there, Pinkie! Now she thinks you hate her when clearly you don’t! You’re just so fantastic that you’re the worst fillyfriend ever!” I was so frustrated with myself, that it was boiling up inside and would spill out dramatically if I didn’t find a hole to scream in or something. No holes were around though, so I just dug my head in the ground and screamed into that.

Nopony’s perfect, especially me. I prefer that though, ‘cause it spices up life. But bother, does it really make you mess things up sometimes. I was surprised that my Pinkie Sense didn’t pick up on the massive doozy of a fail I just did.

My stomach churned. Worry does that, because worry doesn’t care about what you think. Well, it does in a way; it plays off what you’re thinking. Enough of worry turns into dread, which is what I was having right there and then. I took my head out of the ground, wiping away the dirt that covered it. I sucked in a breath. No, no more tears. Even if the most important thing in my life was in jeopardy, I refused to sit and cry about it. I was a positively perky pink proactive pony, darn it all.

Spitting out some soil, I trekked back to Rarity’s. Dread and worry can turn into resolve, if you try hard enough.

After Rarity took ages to get ready, (I simply must look proper for an outing in Canterlot, darling.) we set off into the center of Canterlot. It was getting close to lunch, so we picked a fancy restaurant to sit at. The Le Restaurant Étonnamment Fantaisie (what a silly name) was really sophisticated, a mix of modern and classical. In the center was a complex fountain made out of silver cuboids all stacked together. The top of each cuboid was a very shallow pool with smooth pebbles, water running over them and flowing down to the next below. Flowers and even bonsai trees grew out from between the pebbles. Do you think tiny little birds live in bonsai trees?

Paintings of beautiful landscapes were on the walls, as well as candles in complex candle holders. Their flames were almost white, so the wax must have been special or something. Large, sandy colored tiles covered the ground, all identical. Rarity and I had a small table, next to the fountain. I opened my book of a menu and stared at the meals on offer. And stared. And stared. I didn’t recognise anything at all.

“Rarity,” I said, looking up at her from across the table. “Where’s the kiddy menu?”

Rarity’s menu went down flat. She looked at me with wide eyes, full of disbelief. After about a minute at staring at me, she said, “You’re not joking.” Sighing, she picked up her menu and went back through it. “There isn’t one, darling.”

“Oh…” I went back to my menu. Salade Aveyronaise, Truffade, Aligot, Trinxat... Seriously, who even names this stuff?! ‘Cause I want their job. It sounds like real fun. “I have nooooooo idea what to get,” I eventually admitted.

Rarity kept her eyes on her menu. “Just get what I’ll have. We both know you’ll eat just about anything.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” I agreed, closing my book menu and placing it down. A little while later, a waiter came by and took our identical orders (I think we got the Mesclun). Once he was gone, I turned towards the fountain and started poking at the pebbles.

“Pinkie, please don’t do that here,” Rarity chided.

I glanced at her, my hoof still in the water. It was pretty cold, but refreshing; the restaurant was kinda stuffy. And I’m not talking about just the nobles. (Zing!) “Why not? It’s a fountain and everypony knows that fountains are for wishes, pennies and for splashing around in.”

“But this is a restaurant, darling. And a high class one at that. You can’t go about and mess about with the decorations. It isn’t proper etiquette,” Rarity explained, pointing at my wet hoof.

“Oooooh, right.” That made a bit more sense, I suppose. I took my hoof out of the water and dried it in my mane. My eyes wandered over to the bonsai trees. “You think Fluttershy would like these?” I asked, gesturing at them.

“I imagine so, yes,” Rarity replied. “Although she’s got enough wildlife in her house as it is. Honestly, dealing with Opal is enough trouble…”

“You should see Gummy. He’s really demanding at times.” I love him, but that aspect can get a little annoying sometimes. ‘Pinkie, I want a waterfall in my pond.’ Well I’m sorry Gummy, but getting planning permission to build your pond in the first place was really tricky!

Rarity slowly nodded at me. “Yes…”

I wiggled around a little on the cushion I was sitting on. I wanted to tell Rarity about my problems, but the time didn’t seem right yet. If I told her now, I could’ve spoiled her appetite or something and that wasn’t ‘lady like’, as she would probably say.

That didn’t mean I was going to mindlessly babble about, though. “How’s Fluttershy?”

“Coping better than I thought she would.” She smiled a thanks at the waiter who brought us our drinks. “Although I do think she’s trying to be strong for Cloud. I can’t say I blame her.”

I glanced at Rarity’s drink. It was a deep red wine. Thinking I had the same, which I wasn’t up to right then, I looked at my own drink. Clear and fizzing like a baking soda volcano. I took a sip, then licked my lips. Lemonade! She must have changed the order slightly without me realizing. She’s such a good friend.

… who deserved to know the truth.

“And that’s what you’re doing for her, right?” I asked. No sense stopping a conversation dead.

Rarity nodded. “Indeed. I’m assuming that’s why you’re here. To see Rainbow Dash?”

“Yeah…” I sounded a little more wobbly than intended. Rarity’s eyebrow started climbing up her face. I clenched my teeth and prepared myself. No getting out of this now. “But there was a… problem.”

“A problem?” She leant forward, placing her hooves on the table, wearing a worried frown. “What sort of problem, darling?”

My eyes shifted about, as did my body. Ponies, ponies everywhere. Sure, they were eating their food. Not even looking at us. But their ears… “Can we talk about it somewhere more private? It’s…” I put my hoof on Rarity’s. “... important.”

She patted my hoof softly, then pulled away. “I understand.”

“Thanks.” I offered her a weak smile. She returned it, which made my own stronger. Smiles are like that. One can produce another and that one can make the first one even bigger. I decided to move the conversation along, otherwise we’d be sitting in awkward silence. “Do you have any worky business stuff here?”

“As a matter of fact, I do. Thank you for asking. A few noble clients here asked me for custom-tailored dresses and suits. Coming here made it a bit easier to work for them, being in close proximity, you see,” she explained.

I did a double take at my surroundings. “What? But—you shouldn’t be here with me! I’m eating up all your time!” I shouted, throwing my forelegs up in the air.

Rarity didn’t quite look at her surroundings, saying in a loud whisper, “Pinkie, darling?”

I lowered my hooves. The whole restaurant had gone quiet, save for a small cough from somepony. All eyes were on us. “Oopsie. I waaaas… telling a joke. Yes! Geddit? Eating up her time? And we’re all in a restaurant!”

There were a couple of dignified, unimpressed snorts, but everypony went back to their business without saying anything. Tough crowd. Rarity sighed in relief, then resumed our conversation. “Don’t fret, Pinkie. I’ve actually gotten ahead of schedule, for once. Most of the work was already completed by the time the funeral came. Really, darling, it’s only a matter of simple, finishing touches.”

“If you say so…” I was a little skeptical, I’ll admit. Rarity was a real hard worker, but that was just the problem. She worked a little too hard sometimes. It’d be common for her to take on too much work at once, like the time she made our gala dresses. I felt a little bad for being a teensie touch on the demanding side, but she decided to go on with it anyways. Plus, the amount of candies on a dress is super important.

“I know so. Now let’s just enjoy our meal, yes?” From there, casual conversation flowed like chocolate from a fountain. Mmm. At some point, our food came and we gobbled it down. Well, not really gobbled. Can’t gobble with a knife or fork. I don’t think Rarity would’ve let me down the whole plate in one bite anyways.

Then came the issue of payment. I’d forgotten that with everything fancy came a fancy price. “I’ll help pay!” I blurted out before Rarity had gotten out her purse.

She paused, then chuckled softly. “No, dear, this one is on me.”

Generosity was at work here, but it didn’t feel right. There’s a difference between letting a pony be generous and letting them bear far too much. “But it’ll be too expensive to pay on your own!”

Rarity blinked at me, then chuckled softly. “Oh, Pinkie, this establishment isn’t that expensive.” I gawked, frantically gesturing at the fountain besides us. She gave it an uninterested look. “I’ve seen better, dear.”

“Huh.” It sure looked fancy to me. Rarity had gotten out her purse before I could object and paid up. I couldn’t do much to stop her at that point, so I’d just have to sneak some bits in her purse later. That’d be easy.

We left the restaurant and headed for a nice park. It was serene and had pretty flowers and trees, as well as a few fountains and a pond with ducks. I got out a loaf of bread from my mane and fed them for a little while as we passed. Then we went down a dirt path between two large patches of green. Ponies of all different walks of life were here. Families enjoying a day out, children playing tag, nobles admiring the scenery. Even a pet or two was being walked.

“Pinkie, I was hoping you’d speak up, but it seems I have to start things up, hm?” I gave Rarity an apologetic look. Things had been pretty quiet since the restaurant. Probably because I knew what was coming. I opened my mouth to say sorry, but Rarity held up a hoof. “It’s okay, darling.” Her expression grew somber. “Whatever is bothering you must be something very worrying indeed. You’re not normally like this.”

“Sorry,” I said on instinct. I prefer not to show my friends my weakness. Not because of pride, but because they’re so used to seeing me as a perky Pinkie. Gummy is usually my go-to guy for talking through my problems. He’s a good listener.

It unsettles my friends when I’m not happy like I normally am. I remember that one time I forgot my birthday and my friends had planned a surprise party for me. For a while, they didn’t want anything to do with me since they were planning. So I got really paranoid and that led to upset, which led to anger, and that led to madness. I made new friends from inanimate objects.

That scares me sometimes.

“What happened with Rainbow Dash?” she asked. It pained me to hear it, because that isn’t a question that should ever be asked.

I took in a deep breath, watching a couple in the distance enjoying a picnic together. It looked really yummy. “You remember when Rainbow and Cloud and Blossom were away?”

She nodded. “Indeed. I remember things being a lot less exciting for that time.”

I laughed, but it was a bit pathetic. “Heh, yeah. Anyways… so I really missed her and stuff. Then Derpy came with the bad news. I went to Canterlot the day after that. Saw Rainbow and…” Another intake of air. “We… we kinda fought.”

“Oh.” Rarity fell silent, but put an end to it before it became awkward. “How bad was it?”

“I… I dunno.” It was bad, that was for sure. How bad though? I didn’t know. Rainbow didn’t seem to hate me when we passed by, which was a plus, if a small one. But we weren’t exactly all huggy either. Things had become stiff. And either things could’ve improved from there, or gotten even worse.

“It started well. I saw her and things seemed back to normal, y’know? Aside from the funeral business, but we could’ve weathered that storm together if we were … together.” I winced. I didn’t phrase that well. “But then I asked about the funeral. She was really evasive about it, like she didn’t want me there. She even implied it wasn’t my kinda thing.”

Rarity opened her mouth. I didn’t stop talking, though. “And that hurt. It means she didn’t trust me, when she should. I could understand if she’s just my friend, but she’s more than that… much more. So I blew up. Not literally. But… yeah. I left her and went to the castle to get a room.”

I looked down at my hooves, realizing that we had stopped in the middle of the path. I slowly moved off it and sat against a large tree nearby. Rarity went next to me, her lips pursed. “From your account, it sounds like both of you made mistakes.” I looked to her, one of my eyebrows reaching towards the sky. “You’re right—Rainbow should have trusted you. She should have been more honest and open with you. But at the same time, you might have reacted too dramatically, too soon. It can’t be an easy time for her at the moment and you should have given her more of a chance.”

When Rarity tells you not to be a drama queen, you know you messed up. Something might have gone in my eyes because they started to get itchy. “Yeah… what do I do now?”

Rarity put her hoof on my shoulder. “I think you know, darling.”

I nodded. Talk to Rainbow, mare to mare. Apologise and then… “What do I say?”

Rarity moved closer, turning me around to face her. She delicately wiped my eyes. Guess there was something in them after all. “Pinkie, you’re the only pony I know who can write and sing multiple songs on the fly. I think when the time comes, you’ll feel it and then you’ll know what to say.”

“Heh, yeah.” I cracked a smile, even though my eyes were still damp. She was right. I rarely prepare songs before I sing them. I take in the atmosphere and the emotion of the ponies around me and words seem to jump out from my mouth. It’s just pure luck that they happen to form a nice rhythm, I guess.

I still had my doubts though, hanging over me like a thundercloud. “But what if I mess up? Or what if Rainbow doesn’t wanna talk? What if…” I shook my head, refusing to finish that particular sentence.

“If you mess up, and that’s a big ‘if’, I know you’ll be able to recover. And when you last spoke, did it seem like Rainbow didn’t want anything to do with you?” She shook her head. “Rainbow can be hot-headed, but she isn’t quick to hate the ponies she cares about over small things.”

“It wasn’t small though! It—” I saw that Rarity was giving me a bit of a glower and stopped. Again, she was right. If anything, I had made it sound like I didn’t want to see her again. Darn it all! Now Rain—Dashie—she must have felt awful!

I got up on my hooves, my mission objectives in plain sight: find Dashie, say sorry, mend things up and give her the bestest hug in Equestria—no, the world—wait, the universe! I felt Rarity’s hoof on my shoulder again. Yes, she would be by my side to support me!

Or force me down back onto the ground. That worked too, maybe. “Now hold on, darling. It sounds like you two need a little space for a small while. Give yourselves time to cool down, yes?”

“What, like a break?” The idea that we even needed one in the first place unsettled me. Like when you eat baked bads and they just sit like a lump in your stomach. That said, it didn’t seem like a bad idea, just one I didn’t like very much.

“Indeed. I’m sure Rainbow will return once the worst of this has blown over, but for now she needs space to make sure she can support Cloud.” She raised a hoof. “And I know you would like to as well. As they say though, too many cooks spoil the broth. I’m sure Rainbow will be more than enough for her.”

Mr. and Mrs. Cake were fond of that saying. It was true, though. Dashie wasn’t the best at saying emotional (or as she’d put it: mushy) words sometimes, but she always had a big heart and that showed. “Yeah. she will. I’ll go back to Ponyville tomorrow, freshen up and have fun. Like a home vacation.” Rarity gave me a nod of approval, and then I lunged forward, wrapping my forelegs around her and squeezing. “Thanks, Rarity. You’re a good friend; one of the best.”

Rarity tried to speak, but it came all garbled, so I loosened my hold on her. With a cough to regain her composure, she replied, “My pleasure, Pinkie. It never feels quite right when you’re down, so I’d do anything to bring you back to smiles and… Pinkieness.”

I let out a little giggle and released her. “I owe ya one now, huh?”

Rarity scoffed, shaking her head. “No no, darling, it’s alright. Honestly. Don’t go leaving any surprises for me…” Her last words sounded a bit terse. I’d never stop surprising ponies, but I think I got her message. Don’t leave surprises, give them. So Rarity was gonna receive a lot more surprises from now on.

“Okey dokey lokey!” I exclaimed. “When are you heading back to Ponyville, by the way?”

Rarity flicked her mane back like she sometimes does. “Probably when Fluttershy does, providing I get my work finished first. I probably shall though.”

“Tell me when you get back, yeah?”

“Of course, darling. It shall be the first thing I do,” she replied.

“Nuh-uh!” I shot back, shaking my head. I jabbed her in the chest. “The first thing you’ll do is get off the train.”

Rarity gently pushed me away, chuckling quietly. “Yes, yes, that’s true. You know what I mean though.”

“Sure do!” I grinned brightly, then relaxed my smile. I deflated, saying goodbye to a bit of the tension in me and leaning against the trunk of the tree. “Try to have a good time here, yeah?”

Rarity didn’t opt to lean back, simply sitting with all four hooves on the ground, looking rather refined. “I’m not really here for fun, but I’ll try to make the best of it.” She smirked at me, then looked towards the sky. “You make it sound as if you’re going to go back right now.” The sun was beginning to set, coloring the sky a brilliant bright orange as it went.

“No way. Leaving you now would just be plain rude. We can watch the sunset, then we go to sleep. In our own rooms,” I clarified. Rarity was probably worried I’d make camp in her drawers or something. Although camping in furniture did sound like fun.

“That sounds lovely, Pinkie.” We both gazed at the sky as the sun lowered and chatted for a while. And yeah, it was lovely. I’ve never felt more grateful to have a pony like Rarity as a friend.

Like I said, I headed back to Ponyville the next day. The train ride was boring, as expected. At least it seemed to go quicker. Journeys are weird like that. The return home always feels faster than the ride there.

Things didn’t feel normal for a while since a lot of my friends were gone, but it felt stable. I felt alright, for the most part. I talked to Gummy a lot, thinking about what I would say to Dashie when she got back. Waiting at the train station for her was an option, but I had no idea when she’d get back, so I could’ve been there for days. That meant that I wouldn’t know when she was back, and she might have avoided me entirely.

Therefore, I hatched a brilliant plan. But first I had to incubate it. To the library!

Twilight lived in the coolest library imaginable: a tree! It’s odd, but I like odd and it does make sense when you think about it. Books are made from paper and paper is made from trees. So really, it’s loads of little trees in a bigger tree. Although if I hadn’t thrown a party in there when Twilight first came to Ponyville, I thought she would’ve been sleeping on a bed of books or something. How silly would that be?

I stopped leaning against the bench where I was eating my fourth cupcake and started to trot to the library. The front door wasn’t open, but I let myself in anyways ‘cause it’s a public place. That must be annoying, living in a building where anypony can waltz in. It did lead to an awkward moment when I headed in at midnight and Twilight was asleep. I needed a book on techniques to sleep. She said that the library wasn’t open at ‘such a ridiculous hour’. Well, I didn’t see any business hours signs on the door! Then she threw a pillow at my face.

Twilight was doing her usual thing, sorting out books, wrapping them up in her pretty-looking magic and slotting them into their places on the shelves. I ran up to her then belly flopped, skidding across the floor and hugging her leg. “Twilight! I really super desperately need your help!”

Twilight put the last book back then looked down at me, sighing. “What is it Pinkie?” Spike must have heard me, since he came in from the other room and joined us, although he didn’t say anything.

“Remember how Dashie's away, right? And so are Fluttershy and Rarity?” I asked, still on the floor.

She gave me a short nod. “I remember.”

“Yeah, Ponyville’s been a lot less wild, dramatic and…” Spike tapped his chin with a claw. “Okay, it’s never been less quiet.”

“Well I have nooo idea when she gets back and when she does I gotta give her a big welcome!” I stood up and rested my forehooves upon Twilight’s shoulders. “So I need your help in setting up a neighbourhood watch scheme!”

“A neighbourhood watch scheme?” Spike questioned, arms folded. “Is this real, or is this just a super bad joke?”

“I’m serious, Spike!” I cried, taking my hooves off Twilight and flailing them in the air.

“And where have I heard that before?” he lamely replied, rolling his weird dragon eyes.

Twilight was looking at me with an eyebrow raised. “You want to set up an entire neighborhood watch just to know when Dash returns?”

“Yep!” I bobbed my head up and down, almost getting a little dizzy.

“You realize a small town like Ponyville is a giant rumor mill, right? If you put the word out your looking for Dash, its probably going to filter back to you when she arrives sooner or later.” Well I knew that. Problem was, even rumors need time to spread and I knew not everypony would share their rumors with me.

“I can't risk the later!” I told her, very explicitly and loudly.

Twilight blinked and took a step back. Probably because I was reared on my hindhooves. “Pinkie, what is this about?”

“Yeah, you’re jumpier than…” Spike rubbed his mouth, looking down as he thought thinkingly. “Er, you.”

I settled, going back to four hooves on the ground. “Things happened. Gonna fix them. It's fine.” I waved my hoof casually.

Twilight and Spike shared a look, then the former considered me with a frown. “You sure?”

“I talked to Rarity about it. She gave advice, I listened.” I smiled and puffed out my chest. “And now I know what I need to do.”

“Okay, if you're sure.” She took a step closer. “You know you can always ask me if you really need help with something.” Her voice was filled with that really nice sincerity she possessed. Her expression was too.

“That's what I'm doing right now, silly!” I replied, ruffling her mane, being sure to avoid touching her horn incase I set off any wild magic or something. That was something I really didn’t need right now.

“Err, right.” Twilight lightly batted away my hoof, then looked to the shelves again, narrowing her eyes. “Best of luck with whatever you are doing.”

“But you have to help me! The fate of my world hangs in the balance!” I pleaded.

Suddenly she spun around to face me, eyes widened, legs spread apart in a readying stance. “The fate of the world?”

“I’m sure the world doesn’t need Rainbow to do a Sonic Rainboom right now to save the day.” Spike pointed at the window next to the front door. “I’m not getting an apocalyptic vibe from the sunshine outside.”

“Not the world, my world,” I told them, pointing at myself so they would surely understand.

“Oh.” Twilight coughed, then her body relaxed. “Sorry, force of habit. I'm getting waaay too used to needing to save the entire world…” She grumbled something I couldn’t hear, then returned back to the conversation at hoof. “So anyways, you need to find Dash then. As in really soon?”

“As soon as she gets back,” I said.

She rubbed her head, thinking. Only a few seconds later she said, “Okay, there are a couple of things I could do. As creepy as this is going to sound, do you happen to have a hair sampling from Dash?”

“Yeah, I do actually.” I fished through my mane, getting out a clump of rainbow colored hair. Easy enough.

Spike’s eyebrows went at diagonal slants and his jaw dropped. “I… I don’t even want to know.”

Twilight just sighed as she took the hair in her magic. “What's sad is that I'm actually starting to make plans around your brand of crazy.”

“Sad? That's a good thing!” I replied. Twilight never used to really accept me completely. Sure, she was my friend, but she always had her doubts about how I worked. Now she just rolled with it and that was A-OK with me!

“And you’re not a bit crazy yourself, Twi?” Spike laughed to himself, nudging Twilight’s foreleg.

She looked down, looking blunt and unamused. “Weren’t you doing chores before Pinkie came in?”

I could see the gulp travel down Spike’s throat. “Er, yeah… I’ll get right to that.” He did a complete one-eighty and briskly went back the way he came.

Twlight nodded contently, then she turned, looking behind me as she walked not towards Spike, but to somewhere else. “Right, so to the lab!” I followed her and she opened the door, going down into the basement lab. “So do you have any idea when Dash will get back?”

“Couple of days,” I answered, looking around at all the flasks with bright colored liquids in them and all the other cool stuff Twilight had in here. “You heard what happened, right?”

“No, what happened?”

“Cloud’s mom? Nimbus? She—”

Twilight came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, cutting me off. “Ah, right. That.” Her ears lowered and as she moved, she seemed a little less spirited. I’ve never talked to Twilight about the subject of ponies passing, but it seemed like it bothered her just as much as it did for me. “Yeah, I'll just make something up for you.”

“You alright?” I followed alongside her, trying to read her expression. It was relatively normal. Serious, but not somber.

“Hmm? Oh, I'm fine.” Several containers were caught in her magical grasp, getting lowered to the table that was now before us. Out of the first container, she sorted through various small gems, all of them clear and colorless. The one she picked out was on a necklace. Then she put the other containers on the table.

As a kid, I always hoped that when I turned ten, Celestia would turn up at my house and say that I was really a wizard. Sadly, that wasn’t the case, so I had no idea what Twilight was gonna do. “Sooooo whatcha doing? You gonna lock me up in a machine again and read my brain? 'Cause that was fun.” I wore this funny looking hat with lights and wires and stuff. Then there was this machine that printed out paper with scribbly lines on it. It was the weirdest playdate I have ever had.

“Nooo,” she said, voice all wobbly due to her shivering. “No more studying you, I learned my lesson where that is concerned. What I'm doing here is setting up this gem to track Rainbow Dash.” Using a bit of string, she tied Dashie’s hair around the gem, then placed it on the floor. From one of the other containers she brought out a piece of chalk and drew a complex design around the gem. Despite my limited magical know-how, I guessed that this was an arcane circle of sorts.

“Don't we need a map for reference?” I figured that’s how it’d work. A map might have made things even more accurate, or maybe it could glow once the spell was done.

“Not with this tracking spell, no.” From the third container, silvery dust. She spread it all over the circle. Then her horn started to glow more brightly than before.

“Huh, okay.” I stood there and observed Twilight do her stuff. A weird sorta hum came from the circle, so I leaned forward, almost touching it with my muzzle, to have a better listen.

Twilight yelped, flinging forward a hoof to push me away. It was more like a slap, though I didn’t mind. “Don't break the circle while I'm casting.”

“Oops, sorry!” I offered her a sheepish smile. She wasn’t looking, ‘cause she too focused on the spell.

“It's fine. No damage done.” Her brow creased up as she got to what I assumed were the final stages; the circle started glowing brightly too. Then, with a flash of her horn, I heard an odd ‘pop’. “There, done!”

I waited. And I waited. And I waited… After about thirty seconds, the only thing that had happened was that the gem had turned a dark blue color. “I don't get it.”

“Don’t worry, its working.” She levitated the gem and carefully placed it around my neck. “It's really simple. Try thinking about the necklace and wanting it to work.” As I nodded and closed my eyes, she added, “Might help if you think of Dash.”

“Uh, okey dokey.” My eyes rolled up and I stuck my tongue out, concentrating super hard. I thought it was working, but needed a little push, so I closed my eyes.

All I thought about was Dashie. Her blue coat, her cerise eyes and that amazingly awesome rainbow mane and tail. The way that she would send a stream of rainbow right behind her when she flew really fast like she knew she could because she was Rainbow Dash and nopony was gonna stop her! Charisma radiated all around her. Bravery was her best ally. She lived and breathed awesome!

But sometimes that confident barrier of hers would falter. I thought of her napping on clouds, snoring and mumbling about the Wonderbolts. The way she gets awkward around mushy stuff which was sometimes annoying for me but always endearing. Her little voice cracks.

She would stick by you no matter what. Through the good times, through the bad times and through the just plain crazy times. And it wasn’t because she was Loyalty. No, it was because she was the Rainbow Dash, dang it!

But she would always be my Dashie to me.

“Pinkie? It’s working!”

I opened my eyes and looked down. The gem was pointing to my left, towards the wall. The necklace tugged at my neck a little, but I didn’t mind too much. One last thing: it was glowing a dark blue.

All these things could have meant only one thing!

“She's here already?!” I zoooooomed off in the direction was pointing, vaulting over the table, my tail accidentally knocking over a few empty vials as it brushed across. The wall met my body pretty hard.

“Whoa, careful there, Pinkie! That gem is going to point at Dash in a straight line towards her, but only in a straight line. As the crow flies.” I felt her magic take hold of me—it’s a weird tingly feeling that gives you goosebumps— and peeled me off the wall, gently putting me back down. “You see how the gem is now glowing a dark blue? That means Dash is far away. As she gets closer, it will glow a hotter color.”

“Ooooooh, I get it!” I tried to bat the gem down, but it just raised itself again. Nevermind, I could deal with it for a little while longer.

“So now you'll know when Dash is coming to town.” She pointed at the necklace. “That talisman should be good for a couple of weeks, I think.”

“Great! Thanks, Twilight!” Obligatory thank-you-hugs were given.

Twilight returned the gesture, putting her forelegs around me. “Sure, Pinkie. I always love to help.”

“Yeah, you're like a nerdy me!” Hey, she was. She got really excited about books and science and intellectual stuff like that, just like I did with parties and sweets.

We broke the hug, Twilight snorting. “As terrifying as that idea can be.” Hatching an idea, I reached up to my mane and messed it around rapidly. The end result was that my mane had the exact same style as Twilight’s. She blinked, tilting her head. “Now that's kind of freaky.”

“Yeah... I suddenly feel compelled to read books and make lists.” I grimaced, returning my mane back to its natural poofy state before I could do something silly like read a dictionary instead of using it to make a book fort. Whatever the case, I was done there. “Well, I'll see you later, Twilight!”

“Have a nice day, Pinkie. Hope you find Dash,” Twilight said, waving me off as she tidied up her lab from the slight mess I’d caused.

“Thanks! I hope you find the answer to the universe!” I cried back, bouncing up the stairs and out of the library, the gem around my neck never losing its blue glow.

“An’ that’s just how crazy the last couple days have been for me!” Applejack finished.

“Wow, that was a really great story, Jackie!” I said, nibbling on a cupcake with pink frosting and a cherry on top.

“Mhm. It does sound like you had a very interesting time,” Twilight agreed, getting out a ripe red apple from the basket. We were sitting on a checkered picnic blanket in the park. The sun had come out to say hello and was in force, so we were soaking up the rays.

Twilight bit into the apple, which looked super juicy. After chewing and savoring and swallowing, she said, “It doesn’t seem possible how an apple could taste this good, but somehow, your family pulls it off.”

“Aw, shucks. It ain’t nothin’, Twi,” Applejack replied, taking an apple for herself.

“But it is something! You gotta plant the seeds, then water the plants, then wait for the apples to grow, then—”

Twilight forced my lips together with her magic. It didn’t hurt, so I was fine with it. “We get the idea, Pinkie.” I nodded and she let them go. She then turned and smirked at Applejack. “Technically, you said it was something. Double negative.” Jackie narrowed her eyes, chewing on an apple. Twilight just covered her mouth with a hoof, giggling.

I smiled at the two of them. “Thanks for coming, girls. Even if the others aren’t here with us, we can still have fun together.” I still had the gem around my neck and it still glowed blue. Sometimes I’d bang into things because I was walking and looking down at it just to see if it’d change color. Not yet. So I’d come up with the idea of a nice picnic ‘cause they were nice, I was spending time with my friends and my mind was off the gem.

“How could I say no?” Applejack said. She was a real hard worker, but an even greater friend; she’d change her work schedule if it permitted just to spend time with me and the others. Of course, that wasn’t always possible, which sucked.

“Agreed. This is pretty relaxing,” Twilight added. She was about to take another bite of her apple, but then she lowered it from her mouth for some reason and pointed at me. “Pinkie! The gem!”

“Huh?” I lowered my head so I could see what was up. Or down. The gem—it was orange! And with every passing moment it was getting hotter. Not literally, but you know, like Twilight said! I glanced between my friends, holding the gem. “She’s coming! Dashie’s finally coming!” I looked at the picnic stuff around us, biting my lip. I had worked so hard for this and for my friends…

“Sugarcube, ya need to go see her, so go see her,” Applejack said, waving me off.

Twilight nodded in agreement. “Yes, Pinkie. I gave you that gem for a reason. Go and give Rainbow a welcome-back-home-hug or whatever it is you’ll do this time. We’ll be fine here.”

I stood up, about to go, but looking at their supportive looks just made me wanna wrap them up in a big hug and nuzzle the both of them. So I did. “Thanks, girls! Enjoy the picnic!”

“We will, Pinkie. Now go on,” Applejack gave me a shove. “Git.”

I let them go, gave them a firm salute, then zoomed off towards the train station. Ponies looked on as I sped down town, making firm ninety degree turns to avoid crashing into anything. The whole town knew what I was gonna do. I told them in a couple of song numbers. I heard a couple of ponies cheer me on, so I ended up with a huge grin on my face. Gosh, I love this town.

I galloped right through the station entrance and onto the platform. I looked down the tracks. No train just yet, but the gem was pointing straight towards where it would come from, a dark amber now.

Gee, the necklace kinda felt constricting now. Where was Rarity? She could’ve probably sorted out my mane—oh, right. She would have probably been on the train. I raised my hoof and exhaled onto it, smelling my breath. Like candy. That’ll do.

I was so excited about seeing Dashie again, I had forgotten my sole reason for being here. We were going to have a serious talk and sort everything out. Get things back to normal. I suppose I was more excited for that, if anything. Running a hoof through my mane, I thought through what I was gonna say. I was gonna be calm, be rational and be kind. Like she deserved.

I saw the smoke puffing out of the train before the train itself. My body shook as I struggled to keep it on the ground. Butterflies, why do you always choose to flutter about in my stomach at the worst times?! To complete the image, my teeth were also chattering. The train got slower and slower and I just got faster and faster with my shaking.

Then it stopped and do did I.

After a couple of seconds that dragged on for a waaaaaaay too long, the doors opened. Ponies stepped out of them.

None of them were Dashie.

My heart sank. Did she not wanna come? Had the gem just decided to not work? Had it tracked the wrong Rainbow Dash? Her mom? Her mom was Cool, but not the pony I needed to see right now.

The corner of my eye picked up on something adorable. One could say ‘adinkable’. Dinky hopped onto the platform, her mother and Sparkler (carrying all their bags) following behind. Then came Blossomforth, Fluttershy, Rarity and then finally Dashie.

A part of me was urging me to go ahead and hug her, but another part said to be reserved and calm. I’m not talking about that angel and devil me that sometimes appear either. Instead, I simply walked up and greeted them with a simple, “Hi, everypony. Welcome back.” I smiled at them and they all smiled back, although for some, like Derpy and Blossom, it was a bit weak. Then I looked at Dashie. “Hi Dashie.”

Her wings shuffled. “Hey, Pinkie.”

It was a start. An awkward one, yeah, but a start. I decided not to jump into ‘the talk’ right away. Partially because we weren’t alone and partially because certain ponies were missing. “Where’re Cloud and Alula?”

“In Canterlot,” Blossom answered for me. She sighed quietly. “They needed space and time together as a family.” I saw Derpy flinch. Now, I couldn’t be everywhere at once (as much as I’d like to be), but I liked to keep up to date with the lives of my friends. Blossom, Cloud and Derpy had been in a sticky love triangle. From the looks of things though, something had changed.

“Oh. Makes sense,” I replied, walking with them out of the station. It was a real downer how I couldn’t hug Cloudy right now, but a trip to Canterlot wasn’t especially long. Besides, Rarity gesturing to me at Dash reminded me of more immediate business to attend to.

“Hey, girls?”

They all stopped and looked at me. “Can me and Dashie…?” I nodded over to the distance. Dashie blinked and looked at me, but otherwise said nothing.

Dinky made a pout and stepped up to object, but was brought back by her mother’s guiding hoof. “Of course you can,” Derpy said. Phew. Saved by the Derp. I really didn’t want a Dinky tantrum on my hooves.

“Sorry Dinks,” Dashie said, ruffling Dinky’s mane. “I’ll stop by later. Is that cool with you?”

“A’kay,” she replied with a lot of reluctance. “But I wanna hoof bump.” She held out her lil’ hoofsie, poking Dashie’s snout.

“Heh, sure thing.” One hoof bump later and Dinky was fairly content. You wouldn’t think it normally, but Dashie would make a real good parent. She looked at everypony else, unsure. “Er, catch you all later, I guess.”

Everypony said their goodbyes and we all parted ways, leaving just me and Dashie along together. I looked at her, but she was being silly and rubbing her foreleg, gazing the other way. “So…”

“Walk?”

A blink and she was staring at me. “Sounds good.”

And so we walked. In silence. I hated the awkwardness, but at least it was better than Dashie making an excuse and flying off. We were both trying to set things straight. Although I knew it’d be up to me to make the first move. I waited until we were private, no ponies around us. We stood in a grassy field on the outskirts of Ponyville.

I’d start with small talk first, establish some friendliness and security, then I’d jump into the serious stuff. “How was the trip?”

“Boring.”

“Okey dokey.” That ended far more quickly than I had intended. Dashie was staring at some of the pollen that was floating in the air. If she doesn’t look you in the eyes, it’s probably because she’s feeling nervous; if she’s angry, you’ll know.

“How’s Cloud?”

She rolled her shoulders. “Could be doing worse. But she could be doing better too.” She paused, then turned, still not looking at me directly, but having me in her vision. “She thought about joining the guard. Can you believe that? Just leaving us for some worthless doodie.”

I can’t really blame Cloud for wanting to do that. If my parents passed, I’d do some serious thinking about what to do with the rock farm. Maybe I’d help my sisters run it, if they wanted to. “Did you talk her out of it?”

“Yeah. Took me, Derpy, Cirrus, Dinky and Blossom to do it, though. And she’s still there, so she could change her mind at any moment.” She sighed, blowing strands of her mane up. “I wish I could keep an eye on her, but…”

“Mhm.” Dashie was a pretty responsible pony. Managing a weather team wasn’t easy. Sometimes it’d wear her out more than her actual flying exercises would. But Dashie wasn’t born a quitter. She was born a winning pony—wait, no! An incredibly awesome pony. “That and… we gotta talk.” Dashie nodded, looking further away from me.

There, I had said it. No turning back now. “Dashie, I’m sorry,” I said plainly. Probably because it was honest.

She paused, eyes widened in disbelief, then she shook her head. “Pinkie, what happened was my bad. I was being…” She scowled, scuffing a hoof across the ground. “Well, a feathering idiot.”

I predicted she’d say that. Dashie always set her expectations too high. Not for others, but for herself. “I was too. Except without the feathers. But I overreacted way too much and that wasn’t fair on you, so for that, I’m sorry.”

Dashie paced a little, then sighed. I guess she knew that I was in the wrong too, but wasn’t willing to come forth and say that. I kinda appreciated that. “I still acted like an idiot though…” she grumbled. “I could’ve been more honest but instead I danced around the subject like a damned coward.”

Seeing her so hurt at herself, I desperately wanted to hug her and say it was all okay. But now wasn’t the time, so instead, I put my hoof on her shoulder and squeezed. Gosh, she was all tensed up. We both needed a relaxing nap or something after this. “A lot of bad things were going on. I can’t blame you for being a little confused, or angry, or upset, or—”

Dashie snorted. “S’not good enough of an excuse.” After a beat, she added, “And I’m not a good enough fillyfriend, either.”

Oh, no way was she saying that. No, I was not gonna allow her to demean herself like that. “Don’t you dare think like that!” I couldn’t take it any longer. Zipping over, I gave her a nice big hug. “You’re an awesome fillyfriend. The best. And I love you.” I gave her a quick nuzzle upon saying those words. “But what we both did was a mistake and just that. Let’s not make it a biggie, right?”

Slowly but surely, I felt that tension in her start to fade. “After the argument though… I felt awful. Damn awful. Sick to my stomach…” Her voice faded. The last thing I could make out that she said was something like ‘sca’ before the words died in her throat.

“Me too. That’s why we’re here though, right? To make things better again?” I squeezed her again. Then we sat down together.

“Yeah.” She turned, looking at me with pleading eyes. “Pinks… can you forgive me?”

“Of course I can, silly.” I ruffled her mane, earning a quiet laugh from her. I smiled. Things were looking bright. “Do you forgive me?”

“But you didn’t—”

“Dashie, quit being a sillyhead and answer the question,” I cooed.

She sighed through her nose. “Yeah, sure. I forgive you, Pinkie.” It sounded a bit forced, but I thought that was the best I was gonna get out of her.

“We cool?” I asked, holding up a hoof.

“No,” she answered sharply. “We’re awesome,” she finished, bumping my hoof with her own. I giggled, then kissed her on the cheek. The only effort to fight me off was a simple shrug and her cheeks started to go a little red. Silly Dashie.

“Goodie!” Looking up, I saw fluffy clouds that looked like bleached cotton candy, drifting lazily across the blue sky. I laid down on my back, taking Dashie with me. “Now let’s just hang together and do some cloud-gazing.”

“‘Cause I don’t see enough clouds as it is,” she snorted, resting her head on her forelegs.

“Aw c’mon! It’ll be fun, trust me.” I poked her on the muzzle and she scrunched it up. Between the two of us, we could make anything fun!

“Whatever,” she said flatly. I nestled closer to her, rubbing my body against hers, to which she put a foreleg around me. For a couple of moments we were silent. Just us. Awkwardness wasn’t invited this time. “Hey, Pinks?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s cool that you stick around.” She brought me even closer and rubbed my mane. I could only frown though. In Dash-ese, that meant something along the lines of ‘Why do you put up with me?’

So I’d answer that question without bringing it up. “Well, duh! You’re awesome, cool, radical, can do almost anything you put your mind to, adorable, amazing—”

“Wait wait wait.” Dashie interrupted, rolling over and holding up a hoof. “I’m all of those things but adorable.”

“Nuh-uh!” I kissed her muzzle, making her cheeks go bright red again. “See? You’re going all red and cute!” I couldn’t resist nuzzling her at that point. “Like a… errrrrrr… like a Dashie!”

She flicked me with her tail, gently pushing me away. “Cut it out, Pinks.” So I did. By now I was aware that sometimes, I could annoy Dashie with my affection. “Thanks.”

I batted her tail with my own. “I missed this. Just hanging out and being cool with my bestest fillyfriend.”

Dashie chuckled. It felt wonderful to hear her laugh again. “Are there any other fillyfriends you have somewhere then?”

Ooo, darn. She was good. “No! Of course not!” I hastily replied. “I’m just saying that you’re the bestest fillyfriend that there is. For all time!”

“Heh, alright then.” She stretched her limbs, yawning. “Wanna go prank some ponies after a nap? Feeling kinda tired after that boring train ride.”

“That sounds great!” Sleeping with Dashie, then going out on the town for some fun? Sign me up! “We gonna snooze here?”

Dashie raised herself, looking around. “Nah. Too open.” Her hoof pointed towards the sky. “Think you can pull off some Pinkie weirdness and stay on a cloud for a bit?”

“Yep! Can do!” I exclaimed. Dashie nodded, taking off into the air and settling on a single cloud by itself. I assumed that she assumed that I was going to assume that the reason she didn’t fly me up was because I assumed that she assumed that I could get up myself. Good thing she assumed correctly.

I got under the cloud, looked at it, bent my knees then jumped! I shot up into the air like a spring, wind racing past my mane as I went up through the cloud. Dashie gave a little yelp of surprise, using her hoof to close her mouth that went agape. I slowed my fall and landed safely on the cloud.

After Dashie had stared at me for a few moments, she shook her head. “Anyway… this is better.” She threw her wing over me and brought me close. “More private.” And privacy meant more intimacy. She lay her head on the cloud and I nuzzled her cheek, settling. “Good to be back with you, Pinks,” she said, closing her eyes.

“Good to have you here with me,” I replied, closing my eyes. And then we went to sleep.

Well, we would have, but something lingered on my mind. For a while now, I’ve always wanted to go further with Dashie. Beyond pranking, beyond cuddling and even beyond kissing. I wanted to go all the way and make love to her. Having us apart for such a long while only intensified my desire. Making love was the ultimate way to say ‘I love you’ to a pony. Yes, I consider making love different from banging, even if others use the terms like they were raspberry and strawberry jam.

I opened my eyes and nudged her slightly. “Dashie?”

She stirred. “Mm?”

“Mind holding off on that nap for just a little itty bitty while longer?” She slowly opened her eyes, turning to look at me. “Something I wanna ask you.”

She held back a yawn. “Yeah, shoot.”

I gently took her hoof and held it in mine. “Wanna make love?”

Her wings twitched as she sat up pretty fast, withdrawing her hoof. “Aw, c’mon Pinks. Having a good nap and then doing some awesome pranks is way cooler than that weird stuff.”

I frowned, sitting up too. I shouldn’t have expected anything less from her, but it was still disappointing. And slightly hurtful too. I knew she had her reasons for being reluctant to make love, but gosh, I wish she’d put more effort into trying at times. “It’s not weird. It’s important.”

“Ramming into each other like two ships doesn’t sound that important…” she protested, folding her arms.

“It is! It’s like… a party. A super important party for just the two of us.” I took hold of her hoof again. “And nopony else is invited. Ever. And we’re celebrating something super important. Even more important than a birthday.” That made Dashie double take. “We’re celebrating our love for each other.”

“Isn’t kissing enough? S’like that, just less weird.” I would’ve been kinda okay with that answer if she kissed me, but no, she didn’t.

“No, it’s not enough! It’s—” I stopped completely when I saw Dashie flinch. Darn it, I was overreacting again and she was gonna feel awful. I wasn’t gonna stand for that, no way in hay. “No! Stop it, bad Pinkie!” I told myself, swiping at the cloud without looking down.

Dashie saw me attack the cloud, then frowned. “Pinkie, it’s not your fault. It’s just me being a complete dumb-flank again.” She looked over Ponyville, then tore up a piece of cloud and chucked it towards the town. I saw her get to her hooves, looking like she was about to bolt.

I grabbed her foreleg before she could go anywhere. “No, this isn’t happening again. We’re gonna talk about this and work something out. Together.”

She unfolded her wings, her attention directed at the skyline. Then she flapped them.

And that was all. Only once did she do that, letting out a growl of frustration at the same time. “Alright, we’ll talk,” she said, sitting back down.

I wiped my brow, sighing in relief. “Phew… I didn’t want another problem getting between us.” I shuffled up to her, brushing my body against hers to show that I wasn’t angry. Unfortunately, this conversation wasn’t one that I had planned beforehoof, so I was going to have to do improv. “Dashie, I…”

“You don’t have to say anything, Pinkie.” Rainbow fiddled with a piece of cloud as she spoke. “It’s all me. I’m holding us back, being stupid, and it’s getting us upset.”

I smacked her on the head, not very hard, but enough to bring her to her senses. “Stop putting yourself down like that. It takes two to tango.”

“Yeah, but—”

I was on a roll, so I completely cut her off. “I could probably be a bit more patient. I could have also talked to you about this way earlier, instead of just demanding. So, come on, let’s talk.” She nodded, only a little. Her head barely moved. “Do you remember what you told me after you flew from your eye exam?”

That was really an awful time for her. She had gotten into an argument with Cloud and Blossom and that had turned into a fight. The worst thing was that most of the damage Rainbow suffered wasn’t Cloud’s doing. She had done it herself. I saw her in the hospital, made sure she was better, then tried to take her for an exam. She fled from it, but I caught up with her and we talked and talked and talked. It did her a great deal of good, but I could tell she wasn’t completely healed up inside.

She may as well not have nodded, making only the slightest of movements. I moved my forelegs around her to give her a hug. I didn’t squeeze her, I was just holding her, being there for her. “You told me that you had a lot of issues, but you were gonna sort them out so we could make love ‘cause you said I was worth it.”

“Y-Yeah…” she stammered, way too meek for her.

“Then let’s sort them out. You and me, together.” I squeezed her gently. I chose my next words carefully. If you want Dash to talk, you have to be direct, but I didn’t want to come off as mean. “Are you scared? ‘Cause if you are, that’s totally fine and I Pinkie Promise to keep it a secret.” She shivered and buried her head in the cloud. Very gingerly, I gave her a nuzzle and whispered into her ear, “Dashie, please talk to me.”

I stopped nuzzling, but I didn’t let go of her. I gave her the time and patience she needed, being completely silent. After a while, she slowly rose her head. She sniffled. “Yes…” she said, almost unhearable.

I rewarded her with a squeeze and a nuzzle. “That’s okay, Dashie. Everypony gets scared sometimes. You wanna tell me why you’re scared?” I already knew why, but if she wanted to get better than she had to come out and be open.

“Pinkie, I—” She wiped at her eye and shook her head. “Don’t wanna talk about it right now. And I’m sorry, but there’s just…” She rubbed her forehead, sighing tiredly. “So much going on right now.”

I decided to put Dashie’s past fears behind us for now. If she wasn’t gonna talk about it right now, I couldn’t really force her, but clearly she did want to talk about current events. And I was exactly the right mare for her. She looked back at me, eyes a little red and teary. I smiled at her and nodded. A smile was all she needed.

“You know what happened to Cloud’s mom?” I shook my head. “Some bug thing—” She stopped, swearing under her breath. “Details don’t matter. She’s gone.” I gave her a slow nod. “But…” She shuffled a bit. “Going off on a tangent here… you ever heard of anything that could copy a pony? Like, flawlessly. Nothing out of place.”

While that did remind me of a really weird poem I read once, it wasn’t like Dashie to just go off on odd tangets like that, even if she could be a silly pony sometimes. “What’s this about, Dashie?”

She scrunched up a part of the cloud between her hooves. “S’nothing. Just a break from all the crappy talk. But… what if something could do that? How would anypony ever know that it was a fake?”

It was a strange thing to chat about, but there was a sense of paranoia behind her words, so I decided to roll with it. “I can tell if anypony I know is acting weirdly.” I gave her a knowing look and tapped my nose. “Trust me, Dashie, I can smell phonies a mile off.”

“But what if something copied you? What then?”

“You think anything could copy me and really succeed at being me? Sure, they could copy my appearance, but never this.” I tapped my noggin, grinning. Even if I thought I was normal, I knew that Dashie found me completely crazy sometimes.

That got a small laugh out of her. “Yeah, guess you’re right. We could flush out any phonies and kick their butts, couldn’t we?”

“We sure could!” I chirped. I saw her smile get bigger, but it soon faded as she moved onto other topics.

“And then there’s Cloud. She’s hurting bad and there’s nothing I can do about it. And because she’s hurting, she goes and does these completely stupid things. Like sleeping with Blossom! And because of that, Derpy gets mad and hits her. Yeah, she gave her a feathering black eye. So Sparkler went missing ‘cause she was frightened and now Derpy and Cloud have broken up and now she’s still in Canterlot, probably still thinking about joining the Guard like a complete idiot and—”

All while she was talking, her breathing had gotten faster. A lot faster. Beads of sweat went down her face. Then it all ended in a frustrated scream, which was pretty loud, even for me. She smacked the cloud, causing a big dent in it. “It’s too much, Pinkie! It’s all too much! Bad things are happening left and right and I can’t do a single thing about it! All my friends are getting hurt and there’s nothing I can do to stop that!” She growled and smacked the cloud again. “I feel useless!”

I put my hoof over hers so she’d stop hitting the cloud. “Dashie, you’re not—”

“I know, I know. I’m not useless!” she shouted. “But I just want all of it to stop. All the pain, the hurt—the everything! It’s not fair, but it keeps happening! Again and again something bad will happen to one of my friends and I’ll be standing there, unable to do anything!” She shook, sobbing angrily, tears streaming from her cheeks. Her body had completely tensed up and her speech was getting more scratchy. “It keeps happening. And I just want it all to stop. P-Please… make it stop…”

She couldn’t go on, weeping furiously. And as much as I wanted to, I was unable to keep smiling any longer. Soon I was crying too. I could sympathise with her. Actually, I felt empathy for her, ‘cause I was in exactly the same situation. Only where I was feeling it in ounces, Dashie was feeling it in bucket loads.

“It’ll be okay, Dashie. I promise. They’ll stop hurting,” I told her, struggling to keep my voice strong for her sake. It was difficult, but I think I managed. I wasn’t sure if she was even listening though, her breaths coming out in frustrated, wracking sobs.

I wasn’t sure how long we cried for. But I think we needed to. We had to let out all the emotion that had charged us over the past couple days. And even though I don’t like sad crying, I would’ve rather done it with Dashie than do it alone.

I wiped her eyes softly when her sobs became nothing more than small shakes. “S’not fair…” she said.

I found myself agreeing with her. Yeah, I’m all smiles, but that’s because I know that the world isn’t a fair place. Sometimes the worst things happen to the best ponies. I dunno why, it just happens. It was my job to support them and help them along back to a smile.

Fortunately, I had the perfect solution that would benefit both of us. “I’ll tell you what, Dashie. How about we spend the next couple days together. Rest, recharge, have some fun. ‘Cause I know that even if you feel terrible now, you’ll get back and will be there helping your friends. Because you’re the strongest pony I know.” I kissed her cheek, wet from all the tears. “But even the strongest ponies need a helping hoof sometimes.”

She smiled softly, then wiped her eyes. “Yeah. L-Love you, Pinkie.”

“And I love you too, Dashie.” I pecked her cheek again. Her smile grew a little bigger and she let out a contented hum.

“So, I’ll stay at your place f-for a bit, right?” she asked, her voice regaining its strength. She still had a voice crack though.

“That’s A-OK with me!” I replied, feeling more perky myself. “It’ll be like a super extended fun awesome sleepover!”

“Heh, yeah. Sounds great.” She sat up, her tail wrapped around herself. Clearing her throat, she looked at me, tired, eyes bloodshot, but still smiling. She awkwardly rubbed at her foreleg. “So, er… this is the part where I’m supposed to get all sappy, right?”

My ears perked up. Dashie, willing to make the first move on a kiss? Why hadn’t my Pinkie sense told me about this heck of a doozy earlier?! I giggled, dragging her closer so that our chests touched. “Yep!”

Then we closed our eyes and kissed. And it was one hundred percent magical.

Author's Note

A massive shout out goes to everyone who helped me make this fic the piece of work it is today. Special mentions go to Chengar Qordath, Comma-Kazie and Ponibius for assisting me only with the fic, as well as listening to me go on about how challenging it was to write it. Thanks for the opportunity guys, I don't regret it.

Shout outs to my team of pre-readers as well, who all cleaned up the fic and made it even better than it was. There's so many of you, but you know who you are and I ~~will find you and assassinate you~~ thank you so much for helping me out. I'll be looking out for you bunch of nutjobs again.

And finally, thank you—yes you—the reader, for reading this fic. Every little view counts!