A Friend Like Trixie

by EverSoNitro

Rating: everyone
Tags: Trixie, Random, Adventure, Pinkie Pie, Zecora, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 6887

Trixie becomes a genie, and aims to take revenge on Twilight Sparkle, while stuck serving Pinkie Pie

After visiting Ponyville one fateful Nightmare Night, The Great and Powerful Trixie is mysterious transformed from an average boastful unicorn into an all-powerful genie, bound to fulfill the wishes of anyone that finds her lamp. While she initially hopes for Twilight Sparkle to find the lamp, so she can exact revenge on the unicorn that humiliated her, she is instead found by one of Twilight's friends, the ever-enthusiastic Pinkie Pie. Now bound to serve the hyperactive party pony, Trixie must figure out a way to meet her own ends, while trying not to be driven insane by her new mistress.

Published 2012-02-27 19:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-29 16:52:24 UTC

Friend Like Me

“Ooh! Ooh! I want a cupcake!”

“I don’t-“

“No wait! I want a dozen donuts!”

“Pinkie-“

“Nonono, TWO dozen-!”

“SILENCE!”

Pinkie sat silent in the middle of her apartment. Trixie floated in the air, fore hooves pressed against her temples, gently massaging her newly acquired migraine. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go, Trixie thought. Sparkle was the one who was supposed to find Trixie’s lamp, not this buffoon. Trixie sighed internally. Oh well, Trixie’s tried her hand at improv before. She can make this work.

Trixie took a deep breath, and flashed a wide grin, a move she’d seen a pair of personal friends and con artists pull when faced with a challenging sell. “Pinkie, Mistress, you’re thinking much too small,” Trixie said to the hyperactive pink pony.

“I am?” Pinkie said cheerfully, cocking her head.

Trixie nodded. “You’ve been presented with a chance that most pegasi would give their wings for, unicorns would give their horns for! You are the master of a genie! Perhaps, nay, definitely the most powerful genie in existence!” Trixie drifted around Pinkie now, leaving a cloud of azure mist behind her as she did so. “The world is your oyster, literally if you so wish it! And you want to waste your wishes on simple pastries, many of which are available if you were to simply walk downstairs?”

“Yep!” Pinkie said.

There was a silence for a moment, and Trixie put a hoof to her face.

She can’t really be this dull, can she?

“So, as I was saying, I want two dozen-“

“MISTRESS!” Trixie said, interrupting Pinkie before she could go off on another tangent. “Trixie doesn’t think you quite realize what you’ve got here!” She clapped her hooves together, and a cloud scooped Pinkie up and dumped her unceremoniously onto her bed. “So why don’t you just ruminate, whilst Trixie illuminates the possibilities…”

Friend like Me

Sole Singer: The Great and Powerful Trixie

Well Greedy Grabber had them forty thieves,
Blazing Scroll had a thousand tales.
But mistress you’re in luck 'cause up your sleeves,
You got a brand of magic never fails!
You got some power in your corner now,
Some heavy ammunition in your camp!
You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how,
See all you gotta do is rub that lamp!
And I'll say…

“Oh Mistress Pinkie Pie,
What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order,
Jot it down,”
You ain't never had a friend like me!

Life is your restaurant,
And I'm your maître d'!
C'mon whisper what it is you want,
You ain't never had a friend like me!

Yes ma’am, we pride ourselves on service,
You're the boss!
The queen! The shah!
Say what you wish,
It's yours! True dish!
How about a little more Baklava?

Have some of column "A",
Try all of column "B"!
I'm here to see you’re filled with glee!
You ain't never had a friend like me!

Can your friends do this?
Do your friends do that?
Do your friends pull this out their little hat?
Can your friends go, poof?
Well, looky here!
Can your friends go, Abracadabra, LET ‘ER RIP!
And then make the sucker disappear?

So don’t just sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed!
I'm here to answer all your midnight prayers!
You got me bona fide, certified!
You got a genie for your chare d'affaires!
I got a powerful urge to help you out,
So what’s your wish? I really wanna know!
You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt,
Well, all you gotta do is rub like so - and oh!

Oh Mistress Pinkie Pie, have a wish or two or three!
I'm on the job, and I’m no slob,
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend,
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend,
You ain't never! Had a! Friiiiiiiieeeeeend liiiiiiiiiiiiike meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

You ain't never had a friend like me!

Pinkie sat silently on the bed for a moment, awe-struck at the musical number that had just befallen her. Trixie merely hung in the air with a smug expression on her face. Trixie had always been able to put on a show, and with the new power that being a genie granted, that ability had been multiplied exponentially. After a moment, she drifted down beside Pinkie, draping a foreleg around her shoulder, whilst examining the other nonchalantly. Pinkie still stared ahead, dumbfounded.

“So, what’ll it be, Mistress?”

“Alrighty, I think I get it now!” Pinkie said suddenly, hopping off the bed. Trixie floated up into the air, the cloud of azure smoke that her body tapered off to idly drifting in a non-existent breeze. “So, you can do or make anything I want, right? Like, say if I wanted a reeeeeaaaaally big cupcake to appear out of nowhere in the middle of Ponyville, you could do that, right?”

“Well, yes,” Trixie said, “Trixie could definitely and quite easily grant the example you just described, but there are a few things that lie outside her admittedly phenomenal range of abilities. That’s not to say The Great and Powerful Trixie doesn’t have the power necessary to do them,” the unicorn genie added hastily. “It’s just that there are a few rules to wish granting that come with any genie.”

“Rules?” Pinkie said. “Aw, rules are no fun!”

“Trixie has to agree with you, mistress,” Trixie said, internally cringing whenever she said the word “mistress”. She hated having to serve someone, but this plan had already hit a particularly huge (not to mention pink and overly energetic) roadblock, so she just had to ride this out until her opportunity revealed itself. Trixie continued. “Rules do put a damper on things, but thankfully, there are only three.”

“Okie dokie!” Pinkie said. “What are they?”

“Firstly, Trixie cannot forcibly end somepony’s life,” Trixie said.

Pinkie giggled. “That’s silly! I’d never wish for something like that!”

“Secondly,” Trixie continued, “Trixie cannot force two ponies to fall in love with one another.” Trixie visibly retched at the idea. She’d never been one for romance.

Pinkie laughed again. “Why would I wanna do that? It’d take all the fun out of trying to guess who’s going to fall in love with each other!” Pinkie leaned in close to Trixie. “Between you and me, I think Applejack and Dashie are due any day now!”

“Finally,” Trixie said, moving away from Pinkie as she revealed the little shipping tidbit. “Trixie cannot bring ponies back from the dead. Other than those three things, you may have anything you wish.”

“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie said. She seemed to ponder things for a moment, then, without a word, she stood up and walked to the stairs.

“Wait, Mistress, where are you going?” Trixie said, drifting towards her.

“I can’t think on an empty tummy, silly!” Pinkie said. She proceeded down the steps, but poked her head back up into the room. “Did you want something?”

“Uh, no, thank you, Trixie is fine,” the genie said.

“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie said, before disappearing downstairs.

Once she was gone, Trixie sank to the floor and tugged at her mane. This is going to be excruciating… Trixie thought. In the moment of peace she had been afforded, she reflected on how she had ended up in this situation. It all started about a week ago, when Trixie had returned to Ponyville on Nightmare Night…

This is Nightmare Night

This is Nightmare Night

Singers: Ponyville Citizens

[Citizens]
Colts and fillies of every age,
Wouldn't you like to see something strange?
Come with us for thrills and chills,
In our town of Ponyville…

This is Nightmare Night, this is Nightmare Night!
Pumpkins scream in the dead of night!

This is Nightmare Night; don’t you think it’s quite a sight?
Trick or treat till the neighbours all die of fright
It's our town, everybody scream
In our town’s Nightmare Night scene…

[Applejack]
I am the scarecrow filled with straw instead of bone,
Standing in the field when you think you are alone…

[Zecora]
I am the witch lurking who knows where,
Gown made of webs and spiders in my hair…

[Citizens]
This is Nightmare Night, this is Nightmare Night
Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night!
In this town we call home,
Everyone hail to the midnight song!

[Mayor Mare]
In this town, don't we love it now?
Everybody's waiting for the next surprise

[Citizens]
Deep in the night’s dark shroud, piloting the thunder cloud,
Shadow Dash is waiting now to pounce, and how you'll...

[Colts and Fillies]
Scream! This is Nightmare Night!
Blue and black!

[Pinkie Pie]
And pink and white!

[Pipsqueak]
Aren't you scared?

[Zecora]
Well, that's just fine!
Say it once, say it twice!
Take a chance and roll the dice!
Ride with the moon in the dead of night!

[Rainbow Dash]
Everybody scream, everybody scream!

[Citizens]
In our town’s Nightmare Night scene…

[Twilight]
I am the wizard with the bearded face,
Here in a flash and gone without a trace!

[Fluttershy]
I’m the one hiding, calling out "Who's there?"
Voice as soft as the wind blowing through your hair…

[(Fake) Nightmare Moon’s Shadow]
I am the shadow on the moon at night,
Soon I’ll return to claim my right!

[Citizens]
This is Nightmare Night, this is Nightmare Night
Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night!

[Colts, Fillies, and Pinkie]
Sweets and candies everywhere,
Life's no fun without a good scare!

[Citizens]
Look around, it’s quite the sight,
In our town of Nightmare Night!
In this town

[Mayor Mare]
Don't we love it now?
Everybody's waiting for the next surprise

[Citizens]
Shadowbolt Dash might catch you in a flash,
And strike her lightning,
Make you jump out of your skin
This is Nightmare Night, everyone scream
Wont' you please make way for a very special guest?

Our fair Luna is Queen of the Midnight Moon
Everyone hail to the Midnight Queen now!

This is Nightmare Night, this is Nightmare Night
Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night! Nightmare Night!

[Colts and Fillies]
In this town we call home
Everyone hail to the midnight song

[Citizens]
La la la la-la la [Repeat]

Everyone cheered as the song reached its conclusion. The town had been working on their Nightmare Night celebration for weeks now. Ever since Princess Luna graced their town last year, they had decided to pull out all the stops in celebrating the holiday. The Princess had even agreed to return to Ponyville to join their celebration, being honoured by the town’s devotion to the holiday. The way the town saw it, Canterlot had effectively made Hearth’s Warming Eve their holiday with the Equestrian Founding Pageant, so Ponyville would make Nightmare Night theirs with a town-wide anthem for the holiday.

“Citizens of Ponyville!” Mayor Mare said, stepping up to the podium in her clown costume. “I hereby declare this Nightmare Night celebration to be a smashing success!”

The town cheered exuberantly. The collective roar was even enough to drown out Princess Luna’s cheering; whose powerful voice rivalled the mighty roar of the Ursa Major itself.

“Now, I’d like to give special thanks to our town’s resident party organizers, Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle, who both helped write, choreograph, and direct the Nightmare Night song, as well as setting up the activities and decorations for our fair town!”

The cheering continued as Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie stepped forward on stage and bowed their heads.

“And finally, I’d like to thank Princess Luna for gracing our town with her presence once again. Without your visit last year, we would have never been inspired to create a celebration as grand as this!”

Princess Luna stepped forward and dipped her head as the town cheered louder than ever. The Princess stepped to the podium and its microphone (not that she needed it), and addressed the town.

“Loyal subjects,” Princess Luna said. “We are touched by your appreciation and sheer effort in making this holiday special. We are happy to royally decree that “This is Nightmare Night” will be the official Equestrian anthem for Nightmare Night, and that Ponyville will henceforth be the official town of Nightmare Night!”

Once again, the crowd cheered. It was a wonder they hadn’t tired out at this point. Mayor Mare stepped forward to receive a plaque from the princess, shaped as the symbol of Nightmare Night, a silhouetted profile of the lunar princess against a crescent moon.

“Thank you, Princess Luna! Now then, feel free to enjoy the many snacks, games, and activities about the square! Happy Nightmare Night everypony!”

The crowd began to scatter about the town, taking in the Nightmare Night atmosphere as they milled about the town square. However, one cloaked pony slinked down an alleyway, breaking away from the main celebration. The figure made sure no one had followed her, before removing the hood. Silvery blue hair cascaded around the pony’s azure coat, and the pony angrily stomped the ground.

“Ugh! Curse that Twilight Sparkle!” Trixie quietly vented. “That should be Trixie up there, having this stupid town eating out of her hoof!” She glanced around, before sighing. “Relax, Trixie, remember why you’re here…”

She quickly pulled her hood back on, and proceeded down the alleyway. She eventually came out at the edge of the town, and looked to the edge of the Everfree Forest. The zebra was leading a group of foals into the forest, no doubt to make the traditional offering to the Nightmare Moon statue that stood in the woods.

Trixie pondered for a moment about what happened to the candy, whether Princess Luna came and scooped it up to split with Celestia or something like that, but she shook her head. She was getting distracted. What was important was that the zebra was pre-occupied, and her hut would be uninhabited.

Trixie darted into the forest, careful to avoid detection, and followed the route she had taken when she was originally forced to flee the town. She remembered stumbling upon the zebra’s hut, and upon peering in, she saw the walls lined with potions, elixirs and arcane artifacts. Surely something in there would help her get back at Twilight for humiliating her.

She finally arrived at the shack, and peered in the window. It was just as she remembered it, though this time unattended. Slinking over to the door, she was lucky to find it unlocked, and slowly pushed the door open. She trotted inside, and began examining the walls. Hundreds of potions beheld her, but none were labeled. She wasn’t interested in any of these, however, as she knew that the zebra wouldn’t make anything harmful. She did suspect that the zebra might have a collection of dangerous objects stored away someplace, so as to keep them out of ponies’ possession.

After a bit of snooping, she discovered a cabinet. However, upon attempting to open it, it proved to be locked. “Hmph. Child’s play,” Trixie said smugly, and her horn began to shine. There was a soft click, and the cabinet slowly swung open. Inside there were all manner of amulets and trinkets. “Which to choose…” Trixie pondered aloud. However, before she could examine them closer, there was a voice at the door.

“Who are you, to be so bold, as to break and enter my abode?”

Trixie spun on the spot, and there at the doorway stood the furious zebra. The zebra looked past the showmare, and noticed that the cupboard was open. Her eyes widened in alarm.

“Do not meddle with those tools!” Zecora cried. “Their power has claimed many fools!”

Trixie’s mind raced as Zecora stepped forward. She needed to get out of there, but she wouldn’t leave with nothing. Her horn lighting, she grabbed onto the first things she felt her magic touch, and charged past the zebra, knocking her aside, spilling the cupboard’s contents. As she disappeared out the door, Zecora quickly righted herself and made to chase after the thief. However, she had no way of telling where the unicorn went. Instead, she quickly moved to the spilled artifacts, and sorted through them, trying to find what was stolen.

As she collected everything up and returned it to its proper place, she ran through a list in her head. Upon figuring out what was missing, she gasped.

“No… not that… it can’t be true… With that… there’s no telling what she’ll do!”

Trixie stopped as she came into a clearing of the Everfree Forest, panting. Looking behind her, she was relieved to discover that she wasn’t being followed.

She then decided to determine what exactly she had taken. She levitated the object over in front of her, examining the object closely. It appeared to be a lamp of some sort, a rusty gold colour, and humbly decorated with a simple pattern formed in its surface.

A smile spread across Trixie’s face. The fact that it was stored with what she assumed were dangerous artifacts could only mean that the myths she heard were true.

Trixie had just come into possession of a genie’s lamp.

Trixie eager rubbed the side of the lamp with her foreleg; mind already set on what she was going to wish for. A crimson smoke began to pour out of the spout, which pooled around the mare’s legs. A pillar of the smoke rose up in front of her, and it began to become more opaque and definite in form, before forming into a unicorn mare’s upper body. The mare opened its eyes and gazed down at Trixie, who in turn looked up hungrily at the apparition.

“Greetings, new mistress…” The genie said. “I-“

“POWER! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE WISHES FOR PHENOMINAL COSMIC POWER!” Trixie immediately barked her wish at the genie, catching her off guard.

“My, someone doesn’t like to waste time…” The genie said. A sly grin spread across her face. “Very well, “Great and Powerful Trixie”, I shall grant you your wish…” The unicorn genie’s horn began to glow, and the smoke that made up her lower body began to envelop Trixie, who was shaking with unbridled glee. As the showmare’s head was the only thing exposed, the genie continued, chuckling. “It’s interesting though, that you’d make that wish…”

“And why is that?” Trixie asked, beginning to feel her body tingle.

“That’s exactly what I wished for.”

Trixie’s expression changed from ecstatic to alarmed as the crimson mist completely enveloped her. The mist began to swirl faster and faster, picking Trixie and the lamp up off the ground, the former merely a silhouetted mass within the smoke as the lamp swirled around it. The genie laughed triumphantly, and dived within the swirling red mass herself. Suddenly, bolts of energy began to issue out from the cloud, which slowly began to change colour, going from deep crimson to brilliant violet, and eventually turning a light azure.

Suddenly, a body was flung from the chaos, that of a red unicorn mare with a vibrant orange mane. Adorning her flanks was the image of a perfectly cut diamond, lodged within a dark, rough stone. Shaking her head and looking up at the swirling smoke, she laughed as it was sucked within the spout of the lamp, Trixie being nowhere to me seen as the smoke cleared. Once it was all taken in, the lamp fell to the ground, rolling to the mare’s feet. She laughed as she levitated the lamp up to eye level, and peered into the spout.

“How are you feeling in there, my friend?” The mare taunted. “Feeling cramped?”

“Trixie demands to know what you did to her!” Trixie’s voice echoed from within the lamp.

“It’s quite simple, really,” the mare said. “You wished for power, so I gave you mine! All of my powers as a genie belong to you now. Of course, with those powers come all the restrictions of being a genie. You are now a servant to the lamp, and by extension, any pony that claims ownership of it.”

“Trixie serves nopony but herself!” Trixie shouted. “Release me at once!”

“I apologize, but I am unable to help you,” the mare replied, smiling. “I lack the power to do so.”
Trixie screamed in rage.

“However,” the mare continued. “As a thank you for trading places with me, I am willing to grant you your other two wishes, provided that they’re within my ability to grant.”

Trixie was silent for a moment, before speaking. “Very well, Trixie will play your little game. Trixie wishes to know how she may free herself.”

“You can’t do anything to free yourself,” The mare replied. “Only your master or mistress may free you, in one of two ways. They must either be a unicorn that wishes for power, as you did, or they must wish for your freedom. Predictably, the former has the higher success rate. Ponies can be so selfish that way.”

Another angered shout issued from the lamp. Another silence came up, as Trixie seemed to be thinking of something. “Very well, Trixie wishes for you to wish her free.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that,” The mare replied. “A former genie cannot become the master of a genie. I would be able to exploit the loopholes of a genie’s magic, being personally familiar, and defeat the true purpose of a genie.”

“Which is?”

“To teach ponies that messing with fate has terrible consequences.”

Trixie groaned again, getting more frustrated. “How is Trixie supposed to get back at Sparkle like this?”

“I’m sorry?” The red mare raised an eyebrow, curious.

“Not that it’s any of your concern,” Trixie replied, “But the reason Trixie obtained this lamp was to take vengeance on a foolish mare that got lucky and made Trixie a laughing stock.”

“Interesting…” The mare replied. “Our choice of wishes isn’t the only thing we share in common.”

“Elaborate at once!” Trixie demanded.

“I too obtained this lamp to put a loathsome cur in her place,” the mare said. “I wished for power, and then I’d make that little foal sorry she ever tangled with Diamond in the Rough!” She didn’t seem to be talking to Trixie for a moment, venting about something that had happened to her. Her focus returned to the lamp. “Of course, things didn’t work out exactly as planned, and I was in the same position you are now. Fancy that. Of course, that was over a thousand years ago, so that pony’s probably long dead by now. I suppose I had the last laugh, despite having spent several of those long, agonizing years doing the bidding of others.”

“A thousand years?” Trixie inquired.

“One of the upsides to being a genie, depending on how you look at it, is immortality,” Diamond explained. “If it weren’t for the imprisonment, then you’d be more powerful than the princesses themselves!”

“Hmm… if Trixie were to find a way to become free, while still retaining her power…”

“Forget it, it can’t be done,” Diamond said, smirking a little bit. “Sorry, but no matter how you look at this, you’ve lost. Now that I’ve gotten to know you a bit better, I can say that I’m at least somewhat sorry about that fact, but I suppose it’s better you than me.”

“Trixie does not lose!” Trixie shouted, the lamp shaking a bit as she did so. “…Trixie has decided on her third wish.”

“Very well,” Diamond replied.

“Trixie wishes for you to take her to Ponyville,” Trixie explained. “It’s the small town just outside the forest. Once there, deposit Trixie’s lamp in the bushes outside the library, the building made from a hollowed out tree.”

“Is there someone you want to find the lamp, perchance?” Diamond asked, smirking.

“Exactly,” Trixie replied. “I may have hit a minor setback, but I can still achieve what I set out to do.”

“Very well,” Diamond replied. “I’ll take you into this “Ponyville”. Perhaps you’ll manage to get free sooner than I did. Or not…” Diamond chuckled to herself before retrieving the cloak Trixie had lost during her transformation. Draping it over herself and depositing the lamp in the pocket, she proceeded through the forest, eventually making her way into Ponyville. The Nightmare Night celebrations had long since met their end, so the streets were cleared and empty.

Diamond skulked around the streets, looking for this “tree library” her replacement had mentioned. Eventually, she located it, and smirked, wondering if ponies these days had any sense at all. Carefully, she walked up to the front door, and stashed the lamp in the bushes, with the handle sticking just far enough out to make it noticeable.

“Very well, Trixie, it is here that we depart,” Diamond said. “I’d like to thank you once again for granting me my freedom. Now, it’s time for me to continue my life from where I left off so long ago.” She glanced around for a moment, before trotting away in a random direction. “I wonder just how much things have changed since that zebra stuffed me in that dank cupboard…” She snickered. “I’ll bet she’s still talking in rhyme, too. Who in Equestria uses a genie to learn how to speak a language?”

Rarity

…And then a whole blasted week passed, with Sparkle passing by Celestia knows how many times without so much as a cursory glance, Trixie thought as she floated in the middle of Pinkie’s room. And wouldn’t you know it, instead of Sparkle coming out and discovering the lamp, that pink foal happened to come bouncing along and found it! Then she grabbed it, ran straight here, and started polishing it! Then Trixie came out, dressed like… this… Trixie glanced up at the purple turban atop her head, styled after her usual wizard’s hat, examined the vest patterned after her cape, and the two golden cuffs around her forelegs. And she started rattling of this ridiculous list of demands. Ugh, Trixie wishes she could just throttle her! Trixie paused for a moment, and then a sly grin spread across her face. Of course, Trixie could always just twist her wishes… That’s what genies are known for, is it not?

Trixie stopped as she heard the tell-tale footsteps of someone coming up the stairs. She regained her composure as a tower of precariously balanced cupcakes appeared from the stairs, followed by Pinkie, who had them balanced on her head.

“Greetings, Mistress,” Trixie said, taking a cupcake from the middle of the tower, causing the rest to cascade downward. Rather than coating the pink Earth Pony, however, Pinkie opened her mouth wide and let them all fall into her gullet. As Pinkie licked her lips, Trixie continued. “So, have you given a bit of thought to what you want to wish for?”

“A teeny bit,” Pinkie said. “And I thought “How super cool is it that I have a genie! I could have just about anything I want!” But then my brain started going “I want this! No that! No that! No that!”” Pinkie repeated the words “No that!” About fifteen times before Trixie cut in.

“ANYWAYS…” Trixie shouted.

“Anyways,” Pinkie repeated. “I couldn’t decide, there’s just way too much I could do, you know! So, I decided I’m going to invite everyone over and ask them what I should wish for!”

“What?!” Trixie shouted. If Sparkle knows Trixie's here now, she’s going to suspect something, and Trixie'll never get a chance to get to her! “P-Pinkie, Mistress, do you really think it’s wise to tell your friends about Trixie? They could get jealous of your fortune, and they could argue, and try to take me away!”

“That’s silly!” Pinkie said. “My friends would never do that!”

“Trust Trixie, when most ponies are faced with the prospect of phenomenal cosmic power, they can tend to get a little… nuts…”

Pinkie stopped and thought for a moment. “I wouldn’t want to upset anyone… but I still want their opinions…”

“If Trixie may, Mistress, why not ask them in the form of a hypothetical? Most ponies aren’t aware genies exist, but are familiar with the basic concept. Then you could ask them and they wouldn’t be any the wiser!”

“Gee, that’s a really good idea!” Pinkie said. “Alrighty, I’ll invite them over for a Random Question Party!” Before Trixie could ask just what a “Random Question Party” was, Pinkie already took off downstairs. This is going to be a long day… Trixie thought idly, before slipping back into the lamp.

A few hours later, Sugarcube Corner was full of the sound of laughter, as Pinkie and her friends were chatting away about nonsense.

“I dunno, I think the name Dusk Shine would really suit you, Twi!” Rainbow Dash said.

“Please, no,” Twilight said, laughing. “There’s a book called Dusk in the library that I came across about vampire ponies, one of those sappy teen romance books, and they don’t shrivel up in the sun! The actually shine! Can you believe that? There’s no way I could be called “Dusk Shine”, because of that!” The whole group laughed and laughed, save for Fluttershy.

“…I like Dusk…” Fluttershy said barely audibly.

“Ooh! Ooh! My turn!” Pinkie said suddenly. “Okay, okay, if you had a genie, what would you wish for?”

Every thought for a moment, before Rainbow Dash spoke up. “More wishes, duh!”

“Uh, Rainbow Dash, you can’t wish for more wishes,” Twilight said. “That’s one of the rules of genies.”

“Well then I’d just wish for more genies! Duh!” Rainbow Dash said. As she reclined in her seat, feeling she’d out-logic-ed Twilight, the purple unicorn merely rolled her eyes.

“Well, I’d probably wish to be able to talk to animals…” Fluttershy said. “That way, I could really understand how my little friends were feeling…”

“Ah wouldn’t wish fer nothin’” Applejack said. “I already got near everythin’ I want, n’anything else ah can just work for!” She paused for a moment. “’Course, a new hip for Granny Smith couldn’t hurt.”

“What about you, Rarity?” Pinkie said, turning to the alabaster unicorn, who seemed to be lost in thought.
What would I wish for… Rarity thought. Fame, fortune, love, all mine at the mere word…

Rarity

Main Singer: Pinkie Pie, Backup: Parade and Onlookers

(Prince Ali)

[Parade]
Make way for Rarity
Say hey! It's Rarity

[Pinkie Pie]
Hey! Clear the way in the old Bazaar
Hey you!
Let us through!
It's a bright new star!
Oh Come!
Be the first on your block to meet her eye!

Make way!
Here she comes!
Ring bells! Bang the drums!
Oh you gonna love her, guy!

Rarity! Fabulous she!
Rarity Belle!
Genuflect, show some respect
Down on one knee!
Now, try your best to stay calm,
Brush up your Sunday salaam,
Then come and meet her spectacular coterie!

Rarity! Wealthy is she!
Rarity Belle!
Dresses hemmed with every gem you’ll ever see!
She bought the nor-eastern fjords!
A million amethyst swords!
Who now owns Sapphire Shores?

[Parade (Including Sapphire Shores)]
Why, Rarity!

{Parade]
She's got seventy-five golden camels,
Purple peacocks, she's got fifty-three!

[Pinkie Pie]
When it comes to exotic-type mammals,
Has she got a zoo?
I'm telling you, it's a world-class menagerie!

Rarity! Beautiful she!
Rarity Belle!
That physique! How can I speak?!
Weak at the knee!
Well, get on out in that square,
Clean up your tail and prepare,
To gawk and grovel and stare at Rarity!

(Simultaneously:
[Male onlookers]
There's no question Rarity's alluring
Never ordinary, never boring
Everything about the girl just plain impresses
She's a winner, she's a whiz, a wonder!
She's about to pull my heart asunder!
[Hoity Toity]: And I absolutely love the way she dresses!)

[Parade (Onlookers)]
She's got ninety-five white Persian monkeys!
(She's got the monkeys, let's see the monkeys!)
And to view them she charges no fee!
(She's generous, so generous!)
She's got workers, and servants, and flunkies!
(Proud to work for her!)
They listen to her, love serving her,
They're just lousy with loyalty! Rarity! Rarity…

Rarity! Amorous she!
Rarity Belle!

[Pinkie Pie]
Heard your prince sure was a sight lovely to see!
And that, good people, is why she got dolled up and dropped by,

[Parade]
With sixty elephants, llamas galore,
With her bears and lions,
A brass band and more,
With her forty fakirs, her cooks, her bakers,
Her birds that warble on key!

Make way!
For Rarityyyyyyyyy!

Rarity snapped out of her train of thought for a moment, and looked around at the group, who all seemed to notice her prolonged silence.
“Oh, um… some new dresses, I suppose,” Rarity said hastily. “And fancy new clothes for everyone in town would be nice.”

Pinkie's First Wish

As the sun descended over the horizon, Pinkie Pie ushered her friends out the front door with a smile on everyone’s faces. As they all cheerfully parted ways, Pinkie returned up the stairs and into her bedroom. As she arrived at the landing, she was greeted by a familiar azure mist that pooled around her hooves. She looked up, smiling, and gave a sweet “Hi, Trixie!”

“Greetings, Mistress,” Trixie said, in a somewhat bored tone. She floated over to the pink pony. “So, have you decided on your wishes?”

“Boy, it’s all about business with you, huh?” Pinkie said, her cheerful mood not wavering. “You need to loosen up a bit! What happened to the Trixie that sang that really neat song? Ooh! I know! We should sing it again! “Well Greedy Grabber had them forty thieves-“”

“No, no, that’s perfectly alright,” Trixie said quickly. “Trixie just doesn’t really have much to talk about at the moment, seeing as she hasn’t really been anywhere in the past week or so other than her lamp or your bedroom.”

“What’s it like in there anyway?” Pinkie said, trotting over to said lamp, which sat atop her dresser, a thin stream of azure smoke leading from its spout to Trixie’s lower half. “It’s kind of funny to think that you could fit in that tiny little thing.”

“Are you saying Trixie is fat?” The genie said with a grin. There was a flash of light, and her gut suddenly expanded to about twice its size and sagged comically. “She happens to be quite sensitive about her weight, thank you very much!”

Pinkie laughed at Trixie’s magically-enhanced joke. “Haha! That’s funny!” Pinkie said. “See, this is the kind of genie I want, always ready to crack a joke! It makes the whole thing more fun, plus it’s not like I’m your boss or “mistress” like you keep calling me. It’s more like we’re just friends, but one of us is really super magical and powerful and can do pretty much anything!”

“And the other is a genie?” Trixie said, returning to normal. This prompted Pinkie to start laughing again.

“You really are funny!” Pinkie said.

“Thank you, Mistre-“

Pinkie made a buzzer sound. “Nope! No more calling me Mistress! Just call me Pinkie, or Pinkie Pie, okay? Not Pinkamena though, or Diane, or Surprise, though I don’t see why you’d call me that last one, really-“

“Yes, yes, okay, Trixie understands, Pinkie,” Trixie said. “Now, to keep thins conversation moving, what did you talk to your friends about? What did they say they’d wish for?”

“Oh! Right!” Pinkie said suddenly. “Okay, well, Rainbow said she’d wish for more genies- Hey! Is that something you can do? If I wanted a bunch more wishes, could I just wish for genies?”

Trixie shook her head. “No, you cannot. That loophole was foreseen quite some time ago, so, predictably, it’s been dealt with.”

“Okie dokie, just thought I’d check,” Pinkie said. “Anyway, other than that, and that weird part where Rarity went quiet, everypony said they’d use their wishes to help others. So, I’ve decided that’s what I’m going to do! I’ll go around town, and if I see someone that’s having trouble with something, I’ll just wish it better!”

“Not the worst idea,” Trixie said. “Well then, would you care to go to sleep for now, Pinkie? It does seem to be getting somewhat late.”

“Alrighty!” Pinkie said. After going around the room and turning off the lights, she bounced over to her bed, and tucked herself in. The only light in the room now was the moonlight that streamed in through the window, and the soft glow that came off of Trixie’s ethereal form. “Nighty night, Trixie!” Pinkie called from her bed.

“Good night, Pinkie,” Trixie said. The azure mist began to recede back into the lamp, and Trixie’s form lost its definition, before it too turned to mist and was pulled back into the lamp.

Just one more night, Trixie thought, and Trixie will be able to put things in motion. She’ll twist that foal’s wishes so badly, she’ll want to get rid of Trixie as quickly as possible. And, if it works out according to plan, she’ll put Trixie right in Sparkle’s hooves, and The Great and Powerful Trixie will be that much closer to having justice!

The sun shone brightly overhead as the clock reached noon, the sky dotted with just a few fluffy white clouds. Pinkie made a mental note to thank the Weather Patrol for such a great day, and maybe make them a batch of cupcakes. She could even get Rainbow Dash to help! She’d know what the Weather Patrol would like with their cupcakes, definitely.

As Pinkie trotted along, humming a little tune to herself, her saddlebags were draped over her back. Tucked within them were a bunch of orders that ponies had made of Mr. and Mrs. Cake, who had asked her to deliver them. Tucked alongside those pastry orders, however, was the rusty golden lamp that contained untold magical power.

Trixie sulked inside the lamp, nearly gagging on the overly sugary sweet smell that invaded her mystical prison. She wished Pinkie would just wish for these orders to be delivered; she was even willing to do it without any tricks at this point.

Of course, no such thing happened, and it was a good hour before Pinkie dropped off the last box of doughnuts. She decided to wander the town for a bit at this point, merrily bouncing along, greeting everypony and anypony she passed.

Pinkie was just passing by a pair of buildings when she heard a few raised voices. She bounced backward, and saw a rather distressing scene within the alleyway.

A pair of seedy-looking stallions were harassing a orange-coated mare, stepping toward her menacingly.

“Please, leave me alone! I don’t have any money on me!” The mare said.

“You think she’s tellin’ the truth, boss?” One of the stallions said to the other.

“If she is, then she wouldn’t be comin’ through here, would she?” The other said. “Everypony knows there’s a toll fer comin’ through here, so if she was comin’ through, then lo-gi-cal-ly, she’s gotta have the means to pay for it!”

“Heh, yeah, good point boss,” The first stallion replied. They both proceeded to advance on the mare, who was in tears at this point.

Pinkie ducked around the corner of the building, panting heavily. Things could get ugly really quickly if she didn’t act quickly. She scrambled to pull the lamp out of her saddlebag, and making sure nopony was around, she rubbed it furiously.
The familiar azure mist poured out, and Trixie materialised.

“Finally, Trixie was beginning to suffocate from the sugary stench in-“

“Trixie! You have to help! I wish those stallions in the alley couldn’t hurt that mare!” Pinkie said frantically.

Trixie looked around the corner, and saw the scene that was unfolding. “Very well, Pinkie, your first wish shall be granted.” With that, she disappeared in a cloud of azure smoke.

In the alleyway, the two stallions were almost upon the mare, when a number of things happened. Firstly, the three ponies were blinded by a bright flash of light. Secondly, the mare suddenly disappeared from the alleyway. Thirdly, a trashcan had one of its lids suddenly disappear. Finally, both the mare and the lid reappeared, the mare standing atop the small lid, which floated high above the ground in the middle of the alleyway.

The two stallions looked up, perplexed.

“How’d she…?” One of the stallions began.

The two jumped up, in an attempt to reach her, but it was a fruitless endeavour. The mare merely stood there, scared out of her wits by what was transpiring.

“It’s no use…” the stallions finally said. “C’mon, let’s get out of here. She can just sit up there for however long she wants.” The two stallions departed from the alley, not noticing Pinkie hiding just past the mouth.
As the two stallions left, Trixie reappeared beside her mistress. “There,” Trixie said. “Trixie has made it so they can’t hurt her.”

Pinkie looked back at the mare hanging in the air, who was looking around the edge of the lid, still with a panicked expression on her face.

“I suppose…” Pinkie said. “But how is she-“

“Enough talk,” Trixie said. “We should leave. Trixie’s sure there’s somepony else that could use some help with something or other.” Trixie promptly disappeared inside the lamp once again before Pinkie could say anything else.

“I guess…” Pinkie said. She stole another glance at the stranded mare, then hurried away.

“…Hello? Can somepony help me down?”