“Colorful On The Outside”
Conrad Schmidt
Earth Pony Relocation Zone 4 “Sweet Apple Acres”, Ponyville, Equestria
September 4th, 15 ALR (After Luna’s Return)

Surely he had to be dreaming...after all, he was surrounded by very colorful horses, all looking up at him with looks that were best described as a mix between fear and awe. There was no way in hell that he could have gone from the hell that was Stalingrad to a colorful, bountiful farm filled with horses. He gave himself a few slaps on the face and even a pinch, yet the illusion continued. Then, to his complete surprise...one of the horses spoke, an orange one with a blonde mane and a brown cowboy hat on it’s head.

“Ah’m sorry..but you’re as awake as you’ll ever be,” it said bluntly in what sounded like a stereotypical cowboy accent. Judging by the horse’s voice, Conrad could tell that it was female, but that was a minor detail considering that the thing had just spoke. Taking a deep breath, Conrad let himself calm down and process everything he was experiencing before responding. “I….did you just speak? How….how in the hell can you speak?” he finally asked the orange mare in calm, collected voice.

The mare gulped, nervously looking up at the intimidating soldier standing before her. “Yeah….ah can speak...along with the rest of the ponies here. Ah’m surprised that you can speak mister,” she replied shakily. Conrad looked back at the pony for a few quiet moments, then sighed, getting down on one knee to look her in the eye. He could tell that she was scared, and he couldn’t help but feel pity for her. “Yeah...I can speak. How about you tell me your name, and the name of this place?” he finally asked in a soft, gentle tone.

The mare stared back at Conrad for a few moments, a bead of sweat rolling down her face before she gulped again. “Mah name….mah name’s Applejack Apple, but you can just call me Applejack. As for this place...you’re standing in the middle of my farm, Sweet Apple Acres. How about….how about you mister? What’s your name...and more importantly, what are you? You’re unlike anything I’ve ever seen before?” she replied. Conrad smiled, taking a mental note of Applejack’s answer as he formulated his own. “Well...my name’s Conrad Schmidt, but you can call me Conrad. As for what I am...well I’m what you could call a human. It’s nice to meet you Applejack.” he finally answered.

Applejack took a few moments to compose herself, then gave Conrad a small smile, the nervousness disappearing from her face. “It’s nice to meet you too Conrad. Can I ask you how you got here on my farm?” she finally asked in a firm, yet warm tone. Conrad frowned, pondering the question for a few minutes before shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know to be honest Applejack. All I know is that one moment I’m bleeding out on the floor about to be shot by this angry Soviet, and the next I’m waking up here, surrounded by bright color and ponies.” he explained, as he slowly brought himself back up into a standing position.

Conrad’s response was met with a hail of whispers and murmurs from the crowd as they all deliberated on what could possibly have brought this human to their farm. Applejack waited for the crowd to simmer down a bit before finally responding. “That’s….incredibly odd, but I guess that’ll do. Ah’m not sure what I should do with you, as resources here on the farm are incredibly tight with all these earth ponies here, but I think I might be able to squeeze something your way, at least until you gain your bearings, and figure out why you’re here.” she announced.

Murmurs of resentment rose from the crowd as Applejack offered resources to Conrad, several ponies pointing out how terrible it was already without the human being there. Taking in all that he could from the crowds murmurs, Conrad couldn’t help but notice that something was wrong here, as all of the ponies gathered there were incredibly thin, with some being little more than bones. Picking up his rifle, Conrad scanned the crowd for a little bit longer, then turned his gaze back to Applejack “Looking around at the rest of these...ponies, I couldn’t help but notice something disturbing. Why are so many of your ponies starving? I see plenty of apple trees here, more than enough to feed you all, yet here you are starving...I just don’t get how this is happening to you.”

Now the murmurs grew louder as Conrad spoke, causing Applejack to breathe out nervously, clearly starting to feel some pressure. “Well… we don’t get all the apples that are grown here. You see..the unicorns in the government come in and set a quota on how many apples they need before collecting them. If we can’t meet the quota….then the unicorns punish us. Since the quotas are very high...we have to ration what little is left.” she explained, hanging her head low. Conrad frowned, shaking his head. “That sounds messed up...nopony should be starving, especially if they’re working hard.”

Applejack’s face had a myriad of emotion on it...it was hard to tell what exactly she was feeling, but the best way Conrad could describe it was a mix between sadness and anger. “I know...but under the current circumstances, I can’t do anything to help my ponies...it’s the worst feeling.” she replied shakily. Conrad thought on this for a while, then crouched down once more. “Maybe I could try talking to the unicorns in the government. I’m no politician, but it’s worth a try. Ponies starving is not a petty issue, especially when it’s the govern-” Conrad began before a shout cut him off, causing him to shoot up to his feet again.

A lone pony came running from one of the orchards, a look of terror in his eyes. The pony moved as quickly as he could, finally stopping when he reached Applejack, panting. “There’s….there’s a unit of Death Heads coming down the road….my guess is that they’re heading here!” he reported.

The crowd of ponies was thrown into an uproar at this news, clearly terrified by the news. Conrad however, was confused. What the hell are Death Heads?

Applejack however was quiet for the longest time, waiting for the uproar to calm down before clearing her throat. “If what ya report is true Caramel….may the Goddess have mercy on our souls.”

Author's Note

I apologize for the delay.

I was watching glorious service to the greatest country.

Glory to Arstotzka.

Also, special thanks to my pal Callsign Eagle for proofreading my stuff. Should be a bit easier on the eyes now