Demons

by Vozzle

Rating: teen
Tags: Shining Armor, Big Macintosh, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Romance
Length: 5230

A Big Macintosh and Shining armor romance story about one's inner demons

Big Macintosh is a strong, self-reliant stallion, but only because he has to be. What happens when a stallion comes into his life that finally forces him to face the demons he's been pushing off for far too long?

Published 2013-10-27 13:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-27 13:20:03 UTC

The prince and the pauper

Chapter I.

Rain poured down upon the fields of Sweet Apple Acres, dark clouds filling the skies above the farm and turning the ground underneath the apple stallion’s hooves to mud. “Ah’m just not going to need you anymore…” Big Macintosh sighed as he looked down into the buttoned eyes of his plush companion, Smarty Pants.

The toy looked up into his eyes with the same complacent stare as always but to him it almost seemed like a desperate plea for her best friend to come to his senses. He allowed himself to stare into her buttons a couple of moments longer, her coat covered with scrapes and scratches, blemishes gained from the hours upon hours that they had spent together. Looking down at the toy now, it brought voices to his head, voices that had plagued him for far too long...

The sound of the wooden floors creaking under the weight of hooves could be heard throughout the apple family's old home. A young little colt with a crimson red coat and a scruffy blond mane trotted towards his mother in the kitchen, his cheeks spotted with a set of adorable freckles.

"Mommy Mommy!" the young, excited colt yelled as he pulled at his mother's tail, bouncing happily with a little plush pony in his hooves. "Look what ah made mommy!" he exclaimed happily, showing his mother his new toy. The plush had shining buttons for eyes, a ruffled striped mane, and a soft grey coat. The thread was clearly visible, the needle still stuck in the plush pony's hoof. "Isn't she pretty?" he asked happily, his hoof brushing the doll's mane.

His mother turned to him, a bright sparkle in her eyes as she sees his newest creation. He looks up into the mare's loving bright green eyes, an ages old stetson hat sitting atop her head, still looking as slick as the day it was made. "She's beautiful, Macky!" she beams brightly at her son, her hoof rustling trough his rough blonde mane "what's 'er name?" she asked as she continued washing the apples for tonight's dinner.

"It's Smartypants!" Little Macintosh said joyfully, handing his toy to her carefully. "She likes cuddling and knitting! and-" his mother put her hoof to his muzzle as she giggled, looking at the needle and thread still stuck in poor Smartypants hoof.

"Ah didn't know you could knit my little apple," she said curiously as she finished his knitting work, snapping off the thread and handing the plush back to her son. "Did ya learn from watchin' me and granny?" she asked happily.

Suddenly, the little colt hears the hoofsteps he feared every day of his young life. the door to the kitchen burst open and an older stallion with a rough orange coat, a ruffled brown mane came barging in tiredly with an irritated stare plastered on his face. "Now what were you two whisperin' 'bout!?" he asked angrily, his breath smelling of cider as he turns to his son.

Macintosh recoiled in fear, hiding behind his mothers legs as he clenched his hooves around Smartypants. Whenever his father started to shout he'd feel so weak and small. The stallion loomed in closer with a bitter on his face, pulling the toy out of his son's hooves and looking at it with a confused stare, Macintosh squeaking sadly as he reached out for his friend with his frantic hooves. "s-smartypants!" he whimpered.

His father's eye were filled with even more anger now as he puts his hoof to the plush's head and tears it off in one pull, eliciting a troubled cry from his now weeping son. "Ah told ya to quit that knittin' Macintosh!" he scolded his son, giving him a quick buck to the face.

His mother cowered in fear as Macintosh suddenly feels a heavy pain in his face as he falls to the cold wooden floor, hiding his muzzle in his now shaking hooves, whimpering softly before he feels the stallion grab him by the hooves, dragging him outside into the rain. "Colts don't knit Macintosh," he scowled at his son. "i'll show you how to buck apples like a real stallion..."

He violently shook his head to turn away the thoughts he always dreaded to have, looking back down into Smartypants's eyes and running his hoof past the stitches around her neck. “Ah.. Ah’m so-” he halted his apology, he told himself that he would never talk to her again, that’s not what stallions did. He threw the toy reluctantly down the grassy hills beside the apple fields. The storm would claim her eventually.

He figured that getting back to work would ease his mind, it always did. After taking another deep troubled breath he made his way back to the fields, staring at the waves of apple trees still left unbucked, the rain assaulting their leaves and the wind raging past their twigs. The sun had just started to set behind the hills, signaling the end of an honest day of work. A day that was the same as every other in his life lately. A day spent solely with empty work; work that slowly but surely became a drag on the stallions life. It became harder and harder to think of his daily labor as satisfying, especially with his family gone for Canterlot's royal wedding.

Life had become dull for the apple stallion, so empty and void of purpose. He was Applejack's brother, and that's all he would ever be known as. To some Big Macintosh seemed distant, cold even. They wondered if there truly was more to the red stallion than just the big lumbering oaf of Sweet Apple Acres. He shook his head one last time before returning to his work, reluctantly forcing his body to the next endless sea of apple trees. He braced himself and gave the trunk of the tree a powerful buck, yelping softly as the pain in his legs returned ever so viciously, reminding him of his injuries.

He cursed his pride as he thought back of the day that applejack left for Canterlot. She had told him that he could never clear the entire orchard before fall arrived with his injuries but as always he assured her that he could handle it, what else could he have said? He was the stallion of the house, he had to be strong, dependable and preferably cold to any kind of emotion. Sadly, he was now left with nopony around and thousands of trees to clear within a matter of days, if Sweet Apple Acres lost this most of it's harvest would be devastating, and they could barely get by as it was.

He shook his head stubbornly, shaking away his doubts and thoughts as he so often did, trotting to next tree with his cart and delivering another even more powerful kick to the base of the tree, sending a shock of pain trough his legs as he whimpered. He fell to his knees as the apples tumbled into his cart, the rain dripping down his mane, sending ripples of cold trough his spine. The weather was harsh but the consequences for the farm if he failed were much harsher.

He reasoned with himself that if he got some rest for his legs he would be able to clear the fields of apples much faster, the other part of him snapping back instantly, telling himself that only a weak stallion would do such a thing, a stallion that can't provide for his family. He was not going to be that stallion. The night got colder and darker as he continued to force his body to it's limits, forcing away the pain as he bucked one tree after the other with a serious stare stuck on his face.

The rain tapped rhythmically against the mist covered window that Shining Armor was resting his head against, looking outside into the darkened forests that stood near Ponyville, contemplating the heavy thoughts that he'd been having more and more lately, gnawing at his mind every single day since he asked his love to marry him. "love.." the word sounded so fake to him these days, an empty promise that he made to her and himself every day when he got out of bed. The inside of the carriage looked as posh and falsely perfect as everything in his life as of late. He sat on fluffy red carriage seats, looking up against the pristine white ceiling with shining gilded edges that made the vehicle feel like a golden cage, just another insult to this lie of a life he was living.

Past the silence of his thoughts he could hear the wheels of the wagon roll across the old cobblestone road leading to Canterlot, the rain tapping against his window and his troubled heart beating ever faster with every mile he got closer to the city of his childhood. He hadn't seen the massive gilded towers of Canterlot since his enlistment in the royal equestrian army. He had seen mountains of snow soaked in blood, had witnessed his fellow ponies fall down around him like toy soldiers without breaking a sweat and yet his conscience could not bear to spent another day lying to Cadence.

He did love her though. He loved Cadence as much as much as somepony could love a close friend, but sadly that was all she was to him at the end of the day. He certainly loved her, but he was not in love with her. He guessed that he wanted to believe that he was in love with her so much that he started believing his own lie. That lie was only the latest of many farces that he liked telling himself, one of which had been ringing trough his mind for years now. It was a lie that asked more from his ability to fool himself than any other but to his friends and family it had always been the most believable. "I am straight." he slowly pressed his eyes shut, forcing out a tear as he told himself his favorite lie again.

Sadly, it was a lie that had told himself too many times for him to believe it anymore. When he met his Cadence and started loving her he was overjoyed. At that moment he knew that he really did just have to meet the right mare for him, that he wasn't strange, he wasn't different, but in the end a lie never lives to be old. Every night that he spent with her these days made his facade that much clearer and he could no longer run from it. He was gay.

Even thinking about the word send shivers down his spine and made his stomach twist and turn sending him in a rage. "Why me?" he uttered softly and angrily, hitting the window with hoof and creating a small crack in the misty window. Why him? Why was he cursed? Why couldn't he smile when he woke up next to the mare he loved?! Eventually he knew that he could never marry her. How could he go into matrimony with a mare who is under the illusion that her stallion is in love with her? Who was he to use her for his own sick twisted lie. She deserved better than that. She deserved better than him. But now here he was on a once way trip to Canterlot where he would have to stare beautiful Cadence in the eyes and untruthfully declare his love for her.

As soon as they would reach Canterlot he would be swarmed by guards and onlookers; there would be no turning back. The very thought made him feel more nauseated than ever before. Desperate for a way out he kicked the carriage's door open with a powerful buck, shattering the glass and replacing the calm soothing sounds of the road with soaring winds and heavy downpour. He swallowed his fears and rolled out of the windows, groaning in pain as his back scrapes across the cobblestone road, turning his pristine white coat to brown and covering his back in deep cuts and scratches as the violent winds filled his ears with sharp sounds, the air crackling with thunder. He slowly watched the carriage disappear into the distance.

Shivers ran down his spine as the chilling winds flew past. Confused and dazed he started trotting aimlessly into the dark, not knowing where to go or what to do next. What could he even do next? Running wasn't the solution to his problems, Shining had learned that the hard way. He frantically scanned his surroundings hoping for something that could clear his chaos of a mind but all he could see were trees and the dark. One thing was certain: he could not stay out here. He doubted that he would even survive a night of sleep outside in this storm and he wasn't ready to die just yet.

He looked back and his eyes shot open in surprise as he saw in the distance a little farm standing proud in the storm. Relentlessly he pulled himself up on his legs and started trotting over the grassy hills and trough the rain, his legs shaking uncontrollably as the farm drew closer and closer. Perhaps there was some luck to be had tonight after all.

Shining armor trotted across the cobblestone path leading to the apple fields in the distance. Many of the trees had been harvested already, their bare twigs and branches swaying in the powerful winds that assaulted the fields this night. Others however, were still brimming with fruit; fruit that would go rotten and wasted the second that they fell to the ground. The trees had already started to shed their leaves for winter, their bark looking more dead than alive and the branches hanging limply towards the ground.

He approached the massive wooden barn of Sweet Apple Acres, looking desperately for a door or entrance of some kind. The wood of the house and the barn that stood beside it looked old and dark as if it had to withstand centuries of rain up to this point, the wood creaking audibly as the house shook gently in the storm. Eventually Shining found the front door to the house, his limbs shaking from the cold as his wet mane swayed in the frigid winds.

He swiftly brought his shaking hoof to the door and knocked on it desperately, wanting to get out of this weather as soon as possible. He waited outside, hearing the sound of his hooves shaking against the cobblestone floor in front of the farmhouse. Suddenly the old red door swung open and he was greeted by a warm light and the sound of a cozy fire coming from inside. He found himself eye to eye with a farmer pony standing inside the warmth of the home. This earth pony had a rough crimson red coat, a set of freckles beneath his warm green eyes and a rough blonde mane. The stallion looked at him with questioning eyes, wondering what kind of pony would be crazy enough to come out here to the farm in this weather and at this hour. "Can ah help you?" the stallion asked him confusedly, watching Shining shiver in the storm.

Shining cleared his throat and swallowed his pride, looking up into the larger stallion's eyes. "S-Sorry but i'm a bit lost here," he replied in a shaking voice. "could i maybe rest here for the night? I promise i'll stay out of your way!" Shining said in a desperate tone. The warmth of the fireplace seemed almost enchanting to Shining as he put his muzzle forward slightly to feel just a tiny bit more of the pleasant heat emanating from inside, a heat that was soon torn from him as the stallion started to close the door slightly.

"A-Ahm sorry." Macintosh stuttered as he tried to avoid eye contact with the shivering stallion. As much as he wanted to cave in and let this stranger stay he felt an obligation to always put the safety of the farm before everything even himself and this stranger was no exception. Before he could close the door completely to shut out the cold Big Macintosh felt the other stallion's hoof blocking him. He looked up into the unicorn's face, his eyes more desperate than anything that Macintosh had ever seen.

Shining felt his last inch of pride shimmer away as he made one last desperate plea. "Please!" Shining said. "I have nowhere else to go and if i sleep outside in this storm this night will be my last. This is a farm right? What if i help on the orchard in exchange for a night under your roof? I'll even sleep in the hay barn if you don't want me to!" Shining begged, throwing his guardsman pride aside.

Big Macintosh gave him one last regretful look. "Sorry but no." he said softly. "y-you'll have to find somewhere else to stay partner." he stuttered awkwardly, not daring to look into the eyes of the stallion that he was turning away out of stubborn pride. As soon as the door shut in his face Shining armor was reminded of the sheer cold biting at his body as the winds flew past him, chilling him to the bone. After a while of Shining simply staring at the old red farm door a determined stare grew on his muzzle.

"oh yeah?" Shining whispered softly to himself in a shaking voice. "Well i'm not going to show you how much you want me on this farm." Shining said with determination in his voice. He may had lost his life and his pride but he always had his guardsman's stubbornness to carry him when his limbs got to weak. He strutted towards the apple orchard with all of conviction combined and attached the old wooden apple cart to himself, pulling it trough the wet mud proudly as the rain trickled down his soaked fur. Shining aligned the cart to the tree as it creaked loudly and he delivered a powerful angry buck to the base of the tree, making it shake on it's roots as the apples rained down. A little sly smile grew on the unicorn's face as he hauled the cart to the next tree.

With a solemn stare on his face Big Macintosh trotted into the living room. Everything about the apple home had a traditional feel about it; creaking wooden floors that looked as old as Equestria itself, dozens of family photo's and keepsakes on the brown walls and an old fireplace that still worked as well as the day it was built. It wasn't much of a home to Big Macintosh but it was cozy enough to shield them from the winter. There was a time that he looked at every nook and cranny of the apple home with wonder through the eyes of a young colt but the old wooden walls had become more of a prison to him now.

He brought himself to the crackling fire coming from the hearth in the loving room, laying his sore body down on the warm wooden floor and staring into the fire as it danced in front of him. He wondered what he was to do; fall had almost arrived and half of the orchard was still unfinished. The apple family had a hard enough time with the money as it was and a bad harvest like this would be disastrous. He could already see little Apple bloom's face as she was told that they weren't going to have presents this hearth warming's eve. He stared into the fire and let his eyes slowly shut as he tried to ignore the pain in his leg, slowly dozing off.

The wood creaked beneath Little Macintosh's hooves as he made he struggled up the stair to the bedroom that he shared with his sister Applejack, his mother's stetson hat sitting proudly on his head. Puberty had been cruel on the young colt and his legs had grown quite a bit faster than the rest of his body, making him stumble on his hooves during even the most trivial of tasks. As if being the awkward little colt that he was wasn't enough, he now had to deal with being a clumsy colt on wobbly legs as well. After his daily struggle with climbing up the stairs Macintosh heard a familiar sound coming from his bedroom, the sound of crying.

It was a dark winter night and Macintosh could barely see his little sister's toys scattered across the dark hallway, stumbling towards the sound. He entered the door and shuffled past his little sister in the dark as quietly as he could and walking to the old oil lamp at his bedside. He stroke a match on his hooves and lit the old rusty lamp, causing the room to be filled with a dim orange light. He heard his younger sister gasp as she saw him. "M-Macintosh?" she sniffled in her high pitched southern voice, looking at him with watered eyes.

He gave her a little awkward smile as he trotted over to her. "Hey there Jackie," he said in his most comforting voice. Applejack was a tough little filly, much tougher than him that was for sure. Not that he minded, it made his little sister even more adorable than she already was. As he drew closer to her bedside, seeing her face properly now, he could see what had the little filly so upset. Applejack had a small but nasty looking bruise on her eye, holding her hooves to it as she sniffled softly, holding her tears back as proudly as she could. She could never cry in front of her big brother, lest he think she was soft. He hoisted himself up on the bed and gave her a comforting stare. "So what'd ya do?" He asked.

She brought her little orange hooves to her eyes and wiped her tears before he could see them, taking a deep breath and looking up into his eyes bravely. Her bravery would not last long as she soon felt her bruise sting again, bringing her hooves to her eyes and crying softly. "Ah- Ah just tried to help on the farm," she stuttered, her breaths hasty and frantic because of her tears. "Ah tried to help you guys with the apple trees but pah got mad. why does he always have to get so darn mad?!" she yelled angrily before returning to her soft crying again, jumping against her older brother and hugging him tightly as she cried little tears into his red coat.

"Ah see," Macintosh said softly, their faces just dimly lit by the orange light coming from the oil lamp as they sat in their darkened room. "You know how he is Jackie," he said as he ruffled his hoof trough her messy blonde mane to calm her down. "You're a filly, and fillies aren't supposed to help with the farm." he reasoned with her.

"Ah just thought you two needed some help ever since mommy-" she found herself silenced by her big brother's hoof. Applejack looked up at him angrily for trying to silence her. "Ya know what i mean Macintosh. Ever since she-" Her brother shushed her once again as he tried to fight his own tears from forming. He wasn't a strong colt, not at all, but how was his baby sister supposed to be strong if he couldn't even pull it off.

"Ah know Jackie," He said, conjuring up his most comforting voice again and getting off the bed so they were eye to eye. "Ya had the best intentions but just try to keep it down okay? Dad doesn't like it when ya act like a colt." He was soon silenced by his little sister's angry stare.

"Act like a colt?" she asked with a hint of anger in her voice. "So ah can't work on the farm but it's all fine and dandy if y'all go off and knit all night?" Applejack pulled a small plush pony from under her pillows. Macintosh gasped as he looked into the buttoned eyes of his best friend.

"Smartypants?!" he exclaimed as he pulled the doll from his little sister's hooves, hugging it tightly. He sighed softly and gave her a tight hug goodnight. "Tell ya what Jackie." Macintosh said happily, taking off his mother's hat and placing it on the little filly's head. Even though the hat was much to big for Applejack she gasped and gave him the biggest smile he had ever seen the little filly make. "Ya can help with the apples but just make sure dad doesn't see ya. I'll keep your secret if ya keep mine. Deal?" he said.

Applejack nodded furiously as she took her mother's hat off and hugged it tightly "thank ya, Macintosh." she said before putting on her new hat and crawling under the warm fuzzy sheets. Macintosh tucked her in before climbing into his own old wooden bed that he had outgrown by quite a bit by now. his legs stuck out from underneath the blanket as he leaned over to his bedside and blew out the lamp."

Big Macintosh's eyes shoot open from his slumber as he hears the sound of heavy work outside. He can just vaguely hear someone move around outside through the sound of the heavy rain tapping against the windows. He raised himself from the warm floor in front of the crackling fireplace and stumbled to the window with tired legs. Looking outside he could see the stranger from earlier pulling the apple cart trough the mud as he struggled against the storm. Rain battered his face and chilling winds rushed past his body yet still the unicorn marched on and continued to buck each tree one by one. Big Macintosh wiped his eyes with his hooves and checked again to see if he wasn't dreaming.

Shining armor's legs nearly gave in to the cold and the strain as he brought down another batch of apples from the trees, panting heavily and shaking from the freezing air. His knees simply couldn't hold a moment longer and his front legs wobbled before collapsing into the mud. He still wore the proud smile on his face. "This farm work ain't so hard." he chuckled before his hind legs gave in to the pressure as well. He lied on the ground and shivered softly until suddenly the door to the farm swung open and he was greeted by the warm orange light coming from the fireplace once more. Looking at the door he could see the farm pony walk outside into the storm, slowly making his way to Shining.

Shining Armor soon found himself hoisted onto the back of the stallion as he carried the freezing unicorn inside. The frigid winds were soon replaced by the warm welcoming air of the farmhouse. Big Macintosh laid him down on the warm floor in front of the burning hearth and walked away into the kitchen. Shining armor, too cold to say a word, smiled happily as he basked in the warmth of the fire. He let the flames warm his coat and dry his mane while the sounds of Big Macintosh fidgeting in the kitchen.

Soon the apple stallion returned, laying a hot cup of coffee in front of him. Shining rolled unto his belly and peered into the swirling brown, steaming brew, lifting it up with his magic and taking small sips and feeling the heat of the coffee fill him from inside. "Thanks," Shining said softly. He put down the cup and struggled to raise himself unto his hooves again. "You're alright," Shining paused for a second. "what was your name again?" he asked.

"It's Big Macintosh." the larger stallion said. "So what brings ya out here partner?" Macintosh asked curiously as he brought Shining Armor upstairs. "Not many ponies come here this time of year, especially spiffy looking unicorns in the dead of night during a storm." he could hear shining chuckle happily.

"Spiffy looking, huh?" the unicorn giggled as he followed Macintosh up the stairs. "The name is Shining Armor by the way. Since you forgot to ask, unless you were gonna of course." he says happily, following Macintosh into the bedroom. The room looked as old as everything else in the house; creaking dark wooden floors, the occasional spiderweb on the ceiling, but overall as cozy as could be. Two small beds stood in the corner of the room, they hardly looked like the right size for a stallion as big as Macintosh but beggars couldn't be choosers so Shining decided not to mention it.

"A-Ah was gonna ask." Macintosh said hastily in a bit of a flustered tone. He had never been good at meeting new ponies, especially such an energetic and talkative one as Shining Armor. "This here will be your bed partner." he said, pointing to Applejack's bed. It looked so small that shining wondered if he would even fit but he was used to no better from his days training as a royal guard. He climbed into the bed and wrapped the blanket around himself, trying to get as comfortable as possible. "Sleep tight, buddy." Shining said softly before dozing off to sleep after the most exhausting day of his life.

Macintosh laid in his bed, trying not to think too much about his new unicorn friend. He had never met anypony like Shining Armor before. Strong, independent, not afraid to speak his mind, pretty much everything that Macintosh aspired to be but never could. As Big Macintosh drew closer to the land of the dreaming his thoughts wandered more to the unicorn's deep blue eyes and his strong guardsman body. A blush grew on Macintosh's face as before he dozed off to sleep.

"Big brother! Big brother!" Twilight exclaimed as she ran as fast as her little hooves could take her across the carpet of he brother's bedroom, climbing on top of the bed and jumping at Shining Armor for a tight hug. He looked down into her sparkling little purple eyes and brushed his hoof trough her mane.

"Hey there twilly," Shining said happily, closing his book and focusing his attention on his baby sister. "Isn't it way past your bedtime you silly little filly?" Shining asked, picking twilight up and putting her down on the floor. "You know what mom and dad said right? If they find you up and running about at this hour it's no more books for a week." the little filly gasped in pure terror.

"I know but," she paused and whispered softly. "is it true that you and Cadence are doing romancey stuff?" she asked with big sparkling eyes that only his little sister could possess. He did love her but her rabid curiosity often got the better of her."

"it might be." he said with a sly smile on his face as he got comfortable under the blanket. Twilight bounced up and down happily, cheering for her dear life.

"Yes! I always knew you'd marry a pretty princess, big brother!"

A pretty princess...