Chapter 0: Well this is awkward...
You may wonder what this story is about. A pony called SideSwipe, indeed, but who exactly is this mysterious “SideSwipe”? Well. That would be a rather tricky story to tell. Let’s start with the basics. SideSwipe is actually two different ponies, who look nowhere near as similar as they should. SideSwipe is pale maroon, with a cyan mane. Also, he’s a Pegasus and the other pony is a Unicorn. He acts like a pony called Willow Wisp. And it turns out, he is Willow Wisp. I should start from the beginning…
It was a lovely morning when Jack woke, or it would be if you asked the rest of the globe’s population. He hated “Lovely sunny afternoons” because he was pale skinned and ginger haired. He had freckles, and the girls thought he was ‘cute’ not ‘fit’ or whatever slang Yorkshire teenage girls say. Oh yes, I forgot to mention, he was very British, but not over the top style British, you know tea and crumpets and cricket and strawberries and cream. More of a gamer. He was generally liked in his school (Forgot to mention that too, at the start of this story he’s 13. He ages though, he’s not pulling an Ash Ketchum so don’t worry about that.) He was a student in year 9 at his school (9th grade for all you american readers) and he had a crush on this girl. Matter of fact, he recently asked her out and was awaiting reply. Much to his dismay, he never found out her answer. I’ll tell you why in good time. Anyway, he’d just gotten back from York’s chocolate story (A great attraction in the UK where you get chocolate tasters and get to learn where eating chocolate actually started out. That’s right, you can thank the UK for chocolate people. But I’m sidetracking here…) Oh yes. I was talking about SideSwipe, wasn’t I. Or, more like Jack. Basically, this story intertwines with that of Willow Wisp’s. When Jack first visited ponyville, he waas dragged through the fourth wall by Pinkiepie. Things happened, and he ended up dating Twilight Sparkle (As Willow). And it was time for his fortnightly visit. Basically, every fortnight, Jack visits Ponyville. Pinkie pulls him through the fourth wall. He visits for two weeks, however, in our world’s time he is only there for two hours. Anyway, he went through by accident this time. He was at a friend’s house (Also named Jack) who was also a brony… wait. I forgot to tell you I’m a brony. Or Jack’s a brony. I’m Jack. And I’m a brony. Basically, I’m recounting a story to you, that coincides with another story that I may or may not be recounting to you. It’s complicated. So, when Jack was at his friend’s house, he was using his friend’s laptop to take a peek on FiMFiction, when he suddenly saw Pinkie instead of Rainbow Dash.
“Is it that time already?” he asked.
“Probably. Maybe. I don’t know. All I know is open a tab with some form of episode on it so I can drag you in like you want me to.”
“You know about computers?”
“Vinyl taught me a thing or two.”
“Who’s Vinyl?”
Then all I got from the flurry of words was “DJ PON-3… Best DJ… Looking for a Stallion but… Maybe not though.
“What was that sorry? Oh, I remember Vinyl now anyway, so it’s probably not important. Let’s get this done then…”
So, I opened the tab, and was dragged into the video. Except… I wasn’t Green. And my mane… it was cyan. Who was I? This isn’t what Willow Wisp looked like…
“Erm… Hi.”
“Twilight… I think you messed up a letter or a syllable in that magic spell…”
“Why do you say that Pin- never mind. Jack, you look, erm-”
“Different.” Rainbow Dash finished. So she was here too. “And not in a bad way…”
“O, K.” he said. So Dash was hitting on him, and his “Girlfriend” “Sparky” was doing the opposite. Outstanding.
“So, uh. I should go. Maybe this time around I’ll accesorise.”
“Ooh, ya should go see Rarity then. See ya later Jack” said Rainbow Dash.
So yeah. How do I fix this?
So there I was. A completely new pony. I should have wait a while before I name my new pony alias. Maybe I should go and see Rarity about some accessories. I would go look for her house, but I don't remember where it was. It was night now and I was really tired. I needed a place to sleep, and only one house was near here. Vinyl’s. I knocked on the door and she appeared instantly.
"Hey sugarcube, I have not seen your fine mane round these parts."
"Funny story that, I am Jack. You know... Willow..."
"You look nothing like him."
"Yeah, Twilight screwed a spell up and now I am nothing like I used to be. Oh yeah, and Dash has a crush on me..."
"I won't tell anyone, I swear. Probably.”
“What was that?”
“Nothing. Anyway, what brings you here?" need a place to stay. I notice those shutter glasses on your drawers, can I try them?"
"Go right ahead."
I walked in and tried them on. I looked so cool in those glasses.
"Take them, and I had some green boots too. They'll suit you great."
"Thanks so much. I guess I won't need to visit Rarity now then."
"Probably not."
I slept on Vinyl’s sofa and when I awoke she was still fast asleep. I left a note for her and left.
Vinyl. Thanks for the accommodation and the accessories. Hope I have time to visit again soon! Jack.
As I left, I heard a yell.
"Hey!"
"What's wrong?"
"I thought of a cool name for you! What D'you think to SideSwipe?"
"That's really cool, I will use that. Thanks again."
Then I really did leave. I walked into town. There didn't seem to be any good jobs. Pfft. I'll have to ask Dash about one. I need a house after all... And that means I need bits. Oh yeah, and I’ll need a bed too. Maybe I can buy a cloud one. Anyway, off to Dash’s house.
So I knocked on the door.
POV CHANGE: SIDESWIPE-> RAINBOW DASH
Ooh, somebody's here. I should go get that. It might be the Wonderbolts coming to recruit me! Oh, I can’t imagine how happy I’d be if it was.
“Coming!” I shouted, and kissed my Wonderbolts poster for good luck.
Oh… It’s Jack! Ooh, I like his glasses.
“I like your glasses” I blurted out. I should think before I speak.
“Yeah, Vinyl gave them to me. Thinking of asking her for DJ tips too. Anyway, I came to ask you about a job.”
“Well, you came to the right place. I can get you to give me a hand on my shift, but for your own salary. You’ll only get half what I get, but-”
“Sounds really good to me. But I wanted to ask you something else. You know how you live up here, with all of the other pegasi…”
“Yes?”
“Is there a way you can find a place to stay?”
This is my chance. Oh my god… Roomies. Oh that would be SO COOL! 20% cooler in fact...
“You could, uhm, stay here a while until you get the bits for a house of your own. We could be roomies…”
“That sounds great! I’ll get our food from Applejack, and fly over to Pinkie’s if we need party food or cakes or something."
"Then it's settled. We move you in."
I wonder what it will be like with this cool pony living with me.
"By the way, do you have a name? I was thinking BackDraft."
"Yeah, sorry. I am called SideSwipe from now on. But if I ever change looks again that'll be my name."
"Ok then."
Aww dang it. That sounded 20% cooler in my head. At least he promised that though. Do you think he might like me? I know something. Not one day of my life will be boring. We should get him moved in, time’s flown. It’s already almost dark.
I moved him in, and then we ate marshmallows and he fell asleep by the fireplace. He must have been really tired. Anyway, I’ll put him onto the sofa. Time to go to bed. Aww, he looks 20% cooler when he sleeps. Oh, what am I saying. He probably thinks that Twilight’s 20% cooler than me or something… I’ll not think about that for now. I need my rest. Uurgh.
POV CHANGE: RAINBOW DASH ->SIDESWIPE
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
Meh. Who knew somebody could hate mornings this much. Oops. I’m pretty damn sure that was Dash waking up. Loud yawns for prime minister! Aand she’s awake. Time for a facehoof.
“Um. Morning Dash!”
“Morning, (She yawned) Side (Yawn) Swipe).”
“Wanna head out today?”
“After breakfast” she said, sticking out her tongue.
“Sure thing. You’re making though…”
“With pleasure.”
She make pancakes, with a topping of apple slices and golden syrup. And I’m scared at how tasty it is. I mean, seriously. Isn’t Pinkie the baker? I know it’s not baking, but food involved with using an oven or pan or whatever. I never had any experience with this kind of thing. This is some sort of conspiracy. It must be. I’m a talking pony. But, random stuff that makes no sense happens all the time to me. Just another day in the life of me.
