The music was still playing loudly right next to Pinkie when she woke up with a mild headache. From what she could tell while lifting up from the pillow, she’d only been stuck in some sort of dream. Nothing more. She glanced around for her phone while rubbing her left eyelid, finding it close by on her side table, surrounded by three half-eaten meals.

She blinked several times, inspecting the dishes closely, wondering if the theory her mind was developing could be plausible. One meal was the first part of her dream, if one could call it that. If anything, to Pinkie, it was more like a vague nightmare filled with ridiculousness. A salad, well garnished with bits of bacon, chopped carrots, and thick ranch dressing.

Next to that was the sandwich with toothpicks lying around it, or Bill, as it was called in her dream. It was weird how Pinkie remembered this part so well. It was almost like she lived it, but that’s silly… Just to be sure, she lifted the top bun to see if there was a stomach... Nope, just the usual sandwich condiments she expected to find.

Finally, the worst of all. The spaghetti. But, this time around, it was harmless. Like all the others lying about and fairly distanced, this one was only partially eaten. However, just like in the lewd fantasy her mind created, those meatballs seemed to stare at her, looking into her, wanting to talk to her.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Pinkie turned off the alarm clock, grabbed the meals, and dumped them into the garbage. Soon after that, she decided to call up one of her friends.

Ring

Ring

“Mmh, hello?”

“Twilight?”

“... Yes? Is this Pinkie? Do you know what time it is?”

“Yeah, I know it’s early,” Pinkie confessed. “But, I needed to talk with you! I've just had the most craziest nightmare!”

Twilight sounded unimpressed. “Is that so?”

“Well,” Pinkie resumed. “Iunno if you could even count that as a dream, nightmare, or what!”

“Fascinating.”

“No, Twilight! Listen…” Pinkie took a deep breath. “I dreamed I was being raped by food.”

Click

Twilight had hung up then and there. Pinkie called back. “What?”

“Twilight! I need your help with this!”

Pinkie could tell Twilight was rolling her eyes. “Look, you call me at… what? Six in the morning? You tell me you had a dream about being raped by food? What could I possibly help you out with?”

Pinkie took in another puff of air, and said, “I need you to tell me if I should try eating an omelet next time.”

Even though Twilight desperately wanted to hang up yet again, she foolishly ventured to ask Pinkie, “Why would you want to eat an omelet next time? What’ll happen next time, anyway?”

“Oh,” Pinkie said. “I think I might be able to make myself dream about having sex with food again, so long as I eat some of it the night before! Have you ever thought about what it would be like to fuck an omelet?”

Click

Giving up on Twilight’s point of view, Pinkie decided to try Rarity. That didn't go quite well either, especially after Pinkie asked the unicorn if she’d ever fantasized about intercourse with a pure diamond dildo. Rarity’s predictable reaction was a stern, ”Well! I Never!” followed by her hanging up rudely.

Pinkie even ventured to ask Rainbow about it at school, wondering if she’d ever tried doing it with a cloud. Rainbow simply shook her head and trotted away, and then thoroughly avoiding Pinkie for the rest of the day. When Pinkie finally got around to Applejack, word had already spread enough that Pinkie’s odd interrogations was known by nearly everypony, including the farm girl. She knew well enough to dismiss Pinkie the second she walked through the front door.

Finally, all that was left was Fluttershy. Pinkie found her towards the end of the day, over at the local veterinarian's establishment just outside the school grounds tending to a new stray. As she walked right through the door, Fluttershy immediately tried to walk out of the room, only to be stopped by Pinkie’s fast reflexes grabbing her arm. As though she cared little for the social ways of her own friend, Pinkie outright asked Fluttershy, “Have you ever thought about fucking a dog?”

Needless to say, Fluttershy calmly yanked herself free and left the room. For the next month or so, everypony avoided Pinkie and her bothersome questions, not that they weren't doing that in the first place. For all that time, Pinkie would attempt to have the same sort of dreams, every time being a huge disappointment.

For some, unexplained reason, Pinkie couldn't induce a food fuck fallacy again. It seemed so easy last time, too. Eat what you want, and go to sleep, but the second or third time around, it wasn't that simple. All she’d get was a cackling laughter, somewhat familiar, but completely unhindered and unrelated to the dream she'd had not too long ago.

This is the part of the story where the author runs out of will power to try and make sense of things, and just tells the viewing audience what really happened. Discord was assigned with Luna to view dream realms, and most were silly, and/or time consuming.

One dreamer he found the most interesting was Pinkie Pie, who often fell into a universe derived of nothing but sweets, candy, tooth decaying digests, and the occasional regularity of everyday nutrition.

He would only be checking up on her for that single night, so he chose to tamper with her memory strands, and thus made her a nightmare she wouldn't soon be forgetting. The laughter she heard later on, every night, whenever attempting to recreate those sexual events was his subconscious echoes still lingering.

But, he made a dire flaw. The pony he violated wasn't Pinkie Pie the pony. It was her anthro-self located in an alternate dimension. Luna merely told him to visit Pinkie’s dreams. She never said it was the same mare he knew. The end.

Author's Note