Pinkie's Sexually Insane Food Nightmare

by Flaming Gay

Rating: mature
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Sex, Anthro, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Romance, Comedy
Length: 4389

Pinkie dreams of having sex with food.

Pinkie's had some wild nightmares before, but never one like this.

[WARNING: Contains rape, open salad sex bar, sandwich vorarephilia, and brutal Spaghetti tentacle copulation. Read at your own risk]

Published 2013-10-16 14:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-16 14:10:02 UTC

Chapter One: Salad Bar Of Doom

It was late in the day, Pinkie was just going home from Fluttershy's, and with the sun going down, she started shaking her head at how hard she worked all day. Tending to a few animals including a bear wasn't exactly a walk in the park for her. If anything, Pinkie was worn out.

"I'm just gonna get something to eat, and then go to bed," she said to herself as she walked into the living room. On the lights went with a flick of her finger, and into the kitchen. That's the last thing she remembered, though. Somewhere in between that moment in time, she retreated to her room and fell into a deep sleep. It was hardly even dusk yet, but she'd be dreaming for hours. Dreaming of what? Well...

It started out like any normal fallacy. Most mares like her normally start off in the most recent memory, which would be the kitchen. For Pinkie, though, a fresh chef salad was the first thing to float into her mind, and take form. Soon, from darkness and into a spotlight, she caught herself face to face with an open salad bar. It was filled with the usual things to make and decorate the green meal.

Croutons, lettuce, carrots, and to the site, an assortment of tubes holding ranch dressing with in.

Pinkie naturally felt hungry, and not knowing, but at the same time not caring where she was or what would've possibly going on, she decided to get a plate. However, there was none. The bowls were gone, too, making Pinkie even more confused. "Now, how am I supposed to decorate a plate with yummy salad without the right equipment?" she asked aloud.

"Well," a voice came from the green vegetables that coated the table. "You might try using yourself..."

Pinkie beamed, thinking that made sense. It did, to a degree, considering she was only dreaming. Even though that fact was left out, she ventured to get up on the cleared out stand and lay down on her back, then waited. Something didn't feel right. She scratched her head with a finger for a moment, and asked, "Umm, say, Mr. Salad Bar? How am I supposed to do this?"
It lifted itself up, miniature tomatoes for the eyes and the lettuce taking form of its head. "Would you like some help?" it asked menacingly.

Pinkie smiled, and nodded. As her hands settled themselves behind the fluffy mane, the salad being started its work. He looked at her furry chest, thought for a moment, and then grabbed some of the salad dressing. Slowly, the gooey, white stream of edible sauce began smearing itself around in a circle upon Pinkie's belly which triggered an immediate giggle from the mare.

"Hold still," the creature said. "This takes a delicate amount of attention to pull off correctly."

Next, small, cut up bits of carrots were carefully sprinkled on Pinkie's torso, two were gently put on each nipple, and one down below. While he casually laid it down on the pony's pretty little pussy, censoring all visibility, she looked up and asked, "Really?"

"What?" he countered. "It a nice addition!"

Pinkie simply rolled her eyes and allowed him to continue his work. Soon enough, she was well decorated in all sorts of yummy arrangements. The lush looking leaves sprinkled on her belly had fallen into perfect placing, but there was one more thing that was missing.

The salad thing couldn't put his nature-made finger on it, but soon realized he'd forgotten the special ingredient. As he turned himself around, he brought forth two new bottles filled with a different kind of dressing. "How could I forget?" he questioned while Pinkie eyed what was being held by his loosely leafy appendages.

Not in the particular form the others were, but instead, what he had was what looked to her like two fair sized, equine dildos. Not only that, but they also wiggled in his grip, almost like the real things. She released her hands from beneath her head, but was quickly restrained by metal bards trapping her arms and legs, thoroughly keeping her from being let go.

“You stay away from me with those things!”

He just chuckled gingerly, leaned over her body, and brought one up to her mouth. “Go on! Taste it!” he insisted. “You’re just not a proper salad without this stuff, and the only way to get these tubes to decorate you is through extensive work. Now, open up!”

Pinkie squirmed her head back and forth, trying hard to keep her mouth shut, but it was pointless. He forced its round tip through, and though Pinkie felt like screaming, she still somewhat enjoyed being dominated this way, even if by some strange plant beast.

That was one, and the other looked even bigger then the one sinking down into her throat. She gagged a little, some spit escaping the sides, and sensed its partner's prick probing its way through her lower lips.

After it made its way all the way through, spreading Pinkie nice and open, she started to relax. It wasn't that bad, actually. Being screwed by two condiment containers was actually quite the experience for her. To cope with the sudden rise in pleasure and heat coming from her waist, she closed her eyes, feeling both of those thick, bulbous things dipping, then coming up and out for air, then throttling back down into her.

She started smiling, finally. Enough enjoyment was coming from being abused like this for Pinkie to start moaning, mostly thanks to oddly blissful thrills, and that was his cue. ”I think they’re close,” the tomato eyed meal said.

He was right, too. Only a few more harsh pumps was all it would take for the two ranch-filled containers to explode. Pinkie could feel one gush pop within the back of her throat, and then another powerful squirt down under. It even felt deep enough to reach her belly button.

Once her eyes rolled back from being pumped full of ranch jizz, the monster loosened up on her and removed his toys. A pure white stream of thickly yummy tasting cream started leaving Pinkie’s warm gap and mouth. She couldn't stop grinning, either. For whatever reason, she had fun with it. However, that smirk was soon cleaned right off once her ruthless friend revealed to her exactly why she was being made into a yummy platter.

“Now that you’re all readied up, I think its time you were served. Tonight, you’ll be eaten by Bill.”

Pinkie blinked. “Who’s Bill?” she asked, a small, white bubble sliding down her chin.

“Well, here he comes right now!”

Chapter Two: Bill the Sandwich Monster

Louder than Spike’s adult dragon claws stomping around Ponyville in an unstoppable rampage, Pinkie heard the beast approaching. The horror of such a monstrosity coming closer and closer her way made the mare freeze with fear.

In the distance, she could see it’s single, blood red, olive eye glaring at her. It’s half-baked bread skin being a tint darker than light brown, and suspended by two sharp toothpicks for legs. Each step drilled a fair sized hole in the ground, and the burbling of mayonnaise, a bit of mustard for flavor splashed down on the blackened ground below.

It reached them. Sandwich Bill, the second scariest thing Pinkie had ever seen in her entire young life stood before her, its olive eye on top seeming to glance at her with provocative anger. Its crust ripped from the sides, acting like hands, and snatched Pinkie up into the air.

By then, the poor, defenseless girl contained not a clue of what to do. She could try and break free, but her hands wouldn't move for some reason. She tried to yell, but no sound left her lips. Up, and up, and up she went, peeking over its open mouth. At the very summit, the pony could see razor-sharp lettuce teeth and tomato gums eager to get a taste of her.

In only a second, Pinkie was devoured whole. While she slithered down, the salad monster yelled to his pet, “Now, take her to the next individual. No doubt we've kept him waiting long enough.”

Pinkie could feel the head nodding from where she sat curled up, goo slithering through her mane and coat. Rough bread rubbed against her backside while she sank further down into its throat. Pinkie felt herself being gulped down even more, and every little bit of light finally became darkness.

Inside the belly of the beast, Pinkie could barely hear a sound from outside. Everything except the rhythmic vibrations coming from below her body was a vast, tightly squeezing wall, pushing her up against another opposite from the one in front.

The bumpy shake created from the monster’s steps soon became as familiar to her own heartbeat. How long had she been delving, slithering further into its bowels? It seemed like hours, trapped and confined to the slime that coated the intestines of this thing.

And yet, somehow, she couldn't help herself when she finally became rather hungry. If anything, the bitter taste that forced its way into her mouth made her shrill in a euphoric paranoia. Being both stimulated by the tingling sensation of skimming her way down combined with the nervous impulse of fatality couldn't be any more unique at this point.

Soon, she reached the center. The stomach; the point at which true digestion would take place. Through a hole from up above, Pinkie fell into an orange pond. Splashing on her land, she swam back up for a gasp of air. Unfortunately, the toxins that fused with the top side of the room was so foul, pinkie almost fainted.

She quickly found a small island surrounded by the dense liquid and decided it best to swim towards it, hopeful this stuff that was ruining her hair colors would wash off easily. But, much to her dismay it didn't. No matter how hard Pinkie tried, the gunk just wasn't coming off, not without some water, shampoo, and conditioner.

As sticky as glue, and rank with odd smells, the orange acids would take hours to get off and out of her coat. By now, despite being slightly aroused for whatever reason, Pinkie panicked and screamed for help. Nopony answered. Only the burbling of bubbles comforted her until she gave up hope, sat down holding herself tightly, and heard a voice seemingly coming from beyond the wall behind her. “What’s wrong, Pinkie?”

She turned around to see who was there, but only saw the deformed formations that reflected on the water. “Who’s there?” she asked.

“Sandwich Bill’s the name, and I must say. You’re quite the tasty one!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Pinkie questioned her host.

For a moment, he didn't speak, but soon enough, the deep voice returned. “I've had my fair share of delicacies over the years, but you were sweet with cake, and candy. I could literally taste everything you've eaten in the past few weeks. Such a girl like you to enjoy rich foods like these is almost unheard of. Don’t you even try to watch your weight?”

Pinkie stood, trying once again to wipe away the putrid material that saturated her waist. “Are you calling me fat?”

A loud laugh. “Of course not! I just thought women like you worried about the things you put inside yourself. There’s hardly anything healthy about devouring so much junk food. At least, not if you wish to maintain that slim figure of yours.”

Pinkie shook her head, then tried once more to remove the glue-like substance from her mane. “What is this stuff? Jell?!”

He laughed again, but this time, making the entire room shake a little while he bellowed. “Actually,” he said after calming down, “it’s a bit of jelly, some condiments, but with my own biological flair. In short, it’s also an aphrodisiac!”

Pinkie tilted her head. “What’s that?”

“... Err… It’s a chemical, I think, that’s supposed to make you feel good.”

“How good?”

The monster waited a bit before saying, “Like you need sex.”

Pinkie nodded. “But, then, why does it smell so bad?”

“It doesn't smell that bad… d-does it?”

Pinkie giggled. “Oh, yeah. I’m suffocating!”

“... I’m that nauseating?”

Pinkie looked around, and then admitted, “Well, it’s actually not that bad now. I’m getting used to it, but… why do you have to make me all horny-like?”

“For a friend.”

Pinkie blinked. “What sorta friend?”

For the third and final time, Bill laughed. “Oh, you’ll see. It’s best to let this stuff sink into your lungs and do its work. If you don’t, you might now… Hey, what’re you doing?”

Pinkie’s cheeks suddenly puffed up. She was holding her breath.

“Fine, don’t listen to me,” the sandwich monster said.

Pinkie began turning blue.

“... Uh, Pinkie?”

She was now becoming purple.

“Pinkie, stop this! Just breath it in! It’s not poisonous... Much”

By now, her eyes closed shut while her face continued to change color. Luckily for her, however, they reached their destination just in time. Immediately, Pinkie was spat out, launched downward from her little island and through Bill's deformed opening. She landed back on the black surface, tainted with mustard yet again.

She coughed a few times before turning around to see Bill walking off, his crusty hands waving goodbye. She wiped some orange off of her cheek, and then looked behind her. From where she stood, Pinkie couldn't make out what she was glaring at. It best resembled a chasm, but in all actuality, it was far more sinister than she'd ever imagine.

Chapter Three: The Giant Spaghetti Tentacle Monster

All of the sudden, Pinkie heard a weird, though recognizable sound. It was slightly fresh in her mind, the very same she heard every morning when waking up. She had her cellphone alarm clock set with a song to get her out of bed.

“Who you tryin' to get crazy with, ese? Don't you know I'm loco?”

A beat, heavy and funky, surrounded through the void Pinkie resided in, bringing deep colors of green, red and yellow to the once invisible walls. Before her still stood the hole on the ground, but now, there was something creeping out of the edges; something Pinkie never thought possible.

One spaghetti tentacle… Then another, and then the meat balls, and eventually the whole dish spilled upward, roaring and waving its edible appendages all around, almost in sync with the music that blared in the background.

Pinkie was quickly picked up and tossed in the air, yummy red sauce splattering all over her. The noodles gripped tightly to her arms and legs, keeping her suspended in the air. No matter how much she screamed in terror, it seemed nopony was going to come to her rescue. Who would they? That'd be sheer suicide.

The tiny macaroni tendrils soon came together near her spreading legs, forming what looked like a dick, leaking with red flavoring. Before the terrified mare could plead, “No!” she was tore open. Her pussy become flooded with the savory spaghetti schlong which, by the way, refused to show eve a glimpse of mercy.

Like it’d done this before, the monstrosity pumped in and out relentlessly, forcing Pinkie into a new, sexually enticing mood. She had no choice but to allow this garnished gruel the pleasure of violate her being. After all, so long as she kept her cool, Pinkie would be fine. Right? All it wanted was intercourse. Right?

Wrong. It wanted much more than to be sated. It needed Pinkie to be happily fucked, too. Not just it. She had to feel pleased all the same. Pinkie could just barely hear its thoughts somehow, as though it had a mind of its own.

“Pinkie,” the tentacle coagulator said. “Pinkie, you must give in.”

“No!” the mare cried out, shaking her head in defiance. “I’m not your toy! Let me go!”

“If you won’t freely allow yourself to enjoy this, then it will have to be forced.”

Just as she started to open her mouth, two durable noodles snatched the opportunity and held her mouth wide open. Next thing she knew, Pinkie was choking on what tasted like a bay leaf, and then her lips was let go.

Some sort of chemical was launched into her system, she just knew it. Partly because of the telepathic link still connecting her to the creature’s mind, and the familiar scent she sensed as she was fed it. Almost instantly, he sped up, but instead of pain, Pinkie started to feel unnatural amusement from his thrusts.

“Wh-What’s going on? What’s happening to me…?!”

“Kehe,” the thing laughed. “I see you recognize the aphrodisiac Bill tried to make you consume earlier. You couldn't just given in, could you? Such resistance can cause serious damage to your whole being. Now… enjoy this, damn it!”

Just as he finished his sentence, three more thicker strings sneaked up behind her and intruded her ass hole. In only a moment's time, both of her holes were plugged up by ropes of noodles. Why they were so strong and nearly impossible to break was beyond her. They’re only food, so why was it so difficult for Pinkie to break free?

They slithered beyond what Pinkie thought possible. Her depths were being utterly plunged by countless noodles, and there was nothing she could do. More tentacles began to slither around her body, seemingly massaging her belly and chest. One entered her loosely open mouth and proceeded to submerge itself down into her throat.

As if this wasn't bad enough, despite fighting the feeling every step of the way, Pinkie knew she liked it. She knew it was unbeatable. By now, she knew her body wanted more. This surreal experience was just too much for her. She could no longer deny how much fun it was.

Maintaining perfect rhythm, the spaghetti monster wiggled itself around inside Pinkie’s womb and rear insides, opening her intestines up even more, until it made its way into her belly. The sensation of having wiggly pincers dancing inside her was indescribable. Like breaking all rules of physics, her gaps were expanded to meet the roomy needs of these drillers.

Her front hole was wrestled wider so more noodles could make their way in, and then seep out, only to rage in again, and out. The process was repeated over and over again, until Pinkie’s eyes finally rolled back in ecstasy.

She lost herself in a blissful climax. Just as she peaked the tip top of her orgasm, the belly dwelling appendages shot straight up, through her throat and out her jarring mouth. All the way through, up her ass and through her lips. It was well worth it, though, for Pinkie.

And then, white jizz filler her front hole with just a hint of Parmesan cheese for well seasoning. Her stomach expanded, defying all laws of reality. Pinkie felt fat and blubbery by then, but good all at the same time.

She was set free, thrown to the ground like a wet rag. As the jizz juiced its way out her gaps, so did the diggers that took up her hind space. She gasped for breath, choking up bits of cheese and smearing some cum from her cheek.

Looking up at the satisfied looking dish, she asked it, “Happy now?”

He seemed to chortle, its meatball eyes looking her way. “Indeed, and I see you had your fair share of pleasure as well.”

Pinkie tried to stand, but couldn't. Even though her frame felt sound, she was weak. The after-sex was anything but pleasant. Still, she couldn't complain much. “We’ll have to do this again... but, I think I hear my alarm clock going off.”

“Is that what this music is? I’d never heard it before.”

“It’s by Cypress Hill, but really, I need to be headed home.”

He shook up and down, nodding in compliance. “Tap your hooves together three times, and you’ll be waking up in your bed by the third.”

Tap

Tap

Tap

Chapter Four: Waking Up

The music was still playing loudly right next to Pinkie when she woke up with a mild headache. From what she could tell while lifting up from the pillow, she’d only been stuck in some sort of dream. Nothing more. She glanced around for her phone while rubbing her left eyelid, finding it close by on her side table, surrounded by three half-eaten meals.

She blinked several times, inspecting the dishes closely, wondering if the theory her mind was developing could be plausible. One meal was the first part of her dream, if one could call it that. If anything, to Pinkie, it was more like a vague nightmare filled with ridiculousness. A salad, well garnished with bits of bacon, chopped carrots, and thick ranch dressing.

Next to that was the sandwich with toothpicks lying around it, or Bill, as it was called in her dream. It was weird how Pinkie remembered this part so well. It was almost like she lived it, but that’s silly… Just to be sure, she lifted the top bun to see if there was a stomach... Nope, just the usual sandwich condiments she expected to find.

Finally, the worst of all. The spaghetti. But, this time around, it was harmless. Like all the others lying about and fairly distanced, this one was only partially eaten. However, just like in the lewd fantasy her mind created, those meatballs seemed to stare at her, looking into her, wanting to talk to her.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Pinkie turned off the alarm clock, grabbed the meals, and dumped them into the garbage. Soon after that, she decided to call up one of her friends.

Ring

Ring

“Mmh, hello?”

“Twilight?”

“... Yes? Is this Pinkie? Do you know what time it is?”

“Yeah, I know it’s early,” Pinkie confessed. “But, I needed to talk with you! I've just had the most craziest nightmare!”

Twilight sounded unimpressed. “Is that so?”

“Well,” Pinkie resumed. “Iunno if you could even count that as a dream, nightmare, or what!”

“Fascinating.”

“No, Twilight! Listen…” Pinkie took a deep breath. “I dreamed I was being raped by food.”

Click

Twilight had hung up then and there. Pinkie called back. “What?”

“Twilight! I need your help with this!”

Pinkie could tell Twilight was rolling her eyes. “Look, you call me at… what? Six in the morning? You tell me you had a dream about being raped by food? What could I possibly help you out with?”

Pinkie took in another puff of air, and said, “I need you to tell me if I should try eating an omelet next time.”

Even though Twilight desperately wanted to hang up yet again, she foolishly ventured to ask Pinkie, “Why would you want to eat an omelet next time? What’ll happen next time, anyway?”

“Oh,” Pinkie said. “I think I might be able to make myself dream about having sex with food again, so long as I eat some of it the night before! Have you ever thought about what it would be like to fuck an omelet?”

Click

Giving up on Twilight’s point of view, Pinkie decided to try Rarity. That didn't go quite well either, especially after Pinkie asked the unicorn if she’d ever fantasized about intercourse with a pure diamond dildo. Rarity’s predictable reaction was a stern, ”Well! I Never!” followed by her hanging up rudely.

Pinkie even ventured to ask Rainbow about it at school, wondering if she’d ever tried doing it with a cloud. Rainbow simply shook her head and trotted away, and then thoroughly avoiding Pinkie for the rest of the day. When Pinkie finally got around to Applejack, word had already spread enough that Pinkie’s odd interrogations was known by nearly everypony, including the farm girl. She knew well enough to dismiss Pinkie the second she walked through the front door.

Finally, all that was left was Fluttershy. Pinkie found her towards the end of the day, over at the local veterinarian's establishment just outside the school grounds tending to a new stray. As she walked right through the door, Fluttershy immediately tried to walk out of the room, only to be stopped by Pinkie’s fast reflexes grabbing her arm. As though she cared little for the social ways of her own friend, Pinkie outright asked Fluttershy, “Have you ever thought about fucking a dog?”

Needless to say, Fluttershy calmly yanked herself free and left the room. For the next month or so, everypony avoided Pinkie and her bothersome questions, not that they weren't doing that in the first place. For all that time, Pinkie would attempt to have the same sort of dreams, every time being a huge disappointment.

For some, unexplained reason, Pinkie couldn't induce a food fuck fallacy again. It seemed so easy last time, too. Eat what you want, and go to sleep, but the second or third time around, it wasn't that simple. All she’d get was a cackling laughter, somewhat familiar, but completely unhindered and unrelated to the dream she'd had not too long ago.

This is the part of the story where the author runs out of will power to try and make sense of things, and just tells the viewing audience what really happened. Discord was assigned with Luna to view dream realms, and most were silly, and/or time consuming.

One dreamer he found the most interesting was Pinkie Pie, who often fell into a universe derived of nothing but sweets, candy, tooth decaying digests, and the occasional regularity of everyday nutrition.

He would only be checking up on her for that single night, so he chose to tamper with her memory strands, and thus made her a nightmare she wouldn't soon be forgetting. The laughter she heard later on, every night, whenever attempting to recreate those sexual events was his subconscious echoes still lingering.

But, he made a dire flaw. The pony he violated wasn't Pinkie Pie the pony. It was her anthro-self located in an alternate dimension. Luna merely told him to visit Pinkie’s dreams. She never said it was the same mare he knew. The end.

Author's Note