The Constellations of Harmony

Greyscale was, as his parents put it, completely useless. He hardly knew any spells, he was unemployed, and he had been a blank flank for twenty-three years. A normal day for him consisted mainly of drinking cider and going to at least three parties. No matter how many times his parents tried to kick him out of their house, he used their words against them and managed to stay one more month. This had been going on for three years, and his parents were sick and tired of it. All he did was get drunk off of their expensive Canterlot cider and trash their expensive Canterlot home. And they had decided to do something about it.

"Greyscale, you are not staying here any longer, and that is final!" He laughed, and turned to face his mother.

"I thought, mother, that we had established tha-" Just then, an unfamiliar hoof was placed firmly on his shoulder. "Hey, what's the big idea?" He craned his neck to see who would be so bold as to lay a hoof on him, only to see a royal guard glaring at him.

"Sir, I am authorized to forcefully remove you from the premises if necessary, so why don't you just make this easier for everypony involved and come with me."

"Mother, there is no way you actually called the royal guard to kick me out! Is this some kind of joke?"

"I'm afraid not, you have made life very, very difficult for your father and I over the past few years, and you have managed to mooch off of us for far too long. If you had any belongings, I would tell you to gather them, but in your case, just go with the guard. I wish I didn't have to do this, but you need to learn a lesson."

"This is not happening, I refuse to believe that this is happening!" Greyscale bit his leg to try and wake himself up, but it was no dream.

"Sir, if you could stop biting yourself and come with me, that would be great."

"Just who do you think you are? If you think you can do this on your own, then you sir are very mistaken!" Having had just about enough of him, the guard clamped hoof cuffs onto Greyscale and dragged him up the stairs. "H-hey! You'll regret this! I swear to Celestia, mother, you will pay for this!" The guard brought him to a holding cell, and left him with only a loaf of bread and some water. "Hey, come back here! I want my phone call!" The guard paid him no heed. As far as he was concerned Greyscale could rot in that cell. The guard took his normal spot beside his buddy in the station and settled in.

"So, Where'd you find this clown?"

"Some idiot who wouldn't leave his parents' house. Kind of thing happens every day, some entitled jerk thinks he should be able to live off his parents his whole life, and when it's time to move on, he just can't."

His friend chuckled. "Sounds a lot like you."

"Hey, I left willingly! Well... eventually, anyways." The two ponies chuckled. Suddenly, the door creaked open. The two guards turned to see who had come in, and dropped to their knees as soon as they did. "P-princess, we weren't told you were visiting, what a p-pleasant surprise!"

"At ease, soldiers." Celestia chuckled. "I'm here to see somepony you've just brought in, I believe his name is Greyscale?"

"R-really? He's just a dumb, drunk, kid!"

Celestia raised eyebrow. "Are you saying I can't see him?"

"N-no, of course not Princess, I..." The guard trailed off, and opened the door for the Princess. "T-take as long as you n-need..."

"Thank you, but I don't think I'll be too long." Celestia walked to the cell Greyscale was in. He was sitting in the corner, facing the wall. "Greyscale?" He had no wish to give whoever this was so much as the time of day, but it would be more fun to be rude about it instead.

Greyscale put on his gruffest voice. "Whaddya want?"

"I'd like to talk to you about something."

"And what makes you think I'd talk to you?" Greyscale was still facing the wall, for he did not care who was here to talk to him.

"Just a hunch..." Celestia levitated him with her magic and turned him around to face her.

"Oh, Princess Celestia! I mean, uh, what do you want?" He almost bowed, then remembered that he was supposed to be rebellious.

"Have you heard of the Constellations of Harmony?"

"That old mare's tale? Everypony knows they don't exist."

"I'm sure. The Constellations of Harmony were raised along with the moon and the rest of the stars every night, and they enhance the power of the Elements. Most ponies do not believe them. Six ponies are trained to raise the constellations as the current raisers prepare to retire. Princess Luna and myself have put a lot of effort into finding suitable replacements, and you seemed to be one of them, now..." Greyscale tuned her out. Ugh, exposition by narration, boooring! Greyscale began to daydream, but Celestia interrupted.

"Greyscale? Are you listening to me? This is very important, you know."

"Agh! Um, yes. Definitely."

"So far, we have found suitable Raisers for Magic, Kindness, and Generosity. With any luck, you will become Laughter."

"Me? What makes you think I could– Hell, what makes you think I would raise a constellation? I'm still not even convinced they exist."

"You weren't the first choice, but all of our other options have turned up nothing. Despite your recent behavior, we believe that you, at your core, embody laughter in some form. Will you come with me, so that you can discover the truth?"

"What if I'm not the pony you're looking for? I suppose you'll throw me back in here to rot, huh?"

Perhaps I can appeal to a different side of him... "You have been placed under arrest, remember? This is your only easy way out right now."

"...Fine. I'll go with you to take your stupid tests, or whatever. If it turns out I'm the one, maybe I'll stick with you. What do I get out of this, anyways?"

"Well, besides your freedom, you will gain quite a lot of power, not to mention you will find your inner self."

What a load of shit. "Alright, fine. Let's go, I haven't got all day."

"Thank you." She unlocked the door and led him through the station and out into the open. "Ready?"

"For whaOOOW!" He found himself cut off by a teleportation spell. "God! You could've given me a little more warning, don't you think?"

Celestia chuckled. "Look around." He found himself in a large room with plenty of ponies in lab coats milling about. The floors were made of white marble, and in the center was a large seal which read 'Quatuor Stellae In Ungulis'.

"What is this place?"

"Tell me, do you know the name 'Medeis'?"

"What, you mean that idiot who's always blowing himself up?" On cue, a large explosion rocked the room, and the lights flickered and died.

"That's the one."