We're the world famous Flim Flam babies!
"It seems nopony wants our cider anymore... dear brother," Flim stuttered nervously. Flim and Flam were currently backed against their cider making booth as 50 ponies yelled angrily at them. A few feet away, ponies were setting up stalls that were selling pitchforks, torches, and pies. Unfortunately to the brothers, everypony was eagerly buying them; the lines were partially wrapped around Sweet Apple Acres.
Every pony was chanting as they were closing in on the brothers with their pitchforks high. "REFUND! REFUND! REFUND!" A pony named Lily was the first to walk up to Flim. Flim covered his face just encase Lily was in slapping distance. "How dare you try to scam us with this FILTH!" She threw a cider mug filled with tree leaves, mud, and apple skin at the brothers; soaking them a second time. Flam tried to look at Applejack to see if there was some sympathy in her eyes, but she just shook with anger.
"Of t-to the next town... Flam?"
"Yes... dear Flim."
The two brothers jumped into their whimsical contraption and drove way quickly. This is where the chase begun. The 50 ponies let out a war cry as they galloped after their automobile. The only ponies that remained were the Apple Family and the mane 6.
"Look at this everypony!" Pinkie Pie happily shouted. "Now there is enough cider for all of us!" Everyone looked at the towering barrels of cider from the cider making competition. Rainbow Dash kicked a barrel off the top and greedily drank its contents.
"Finally, after all these years.." Dash moaned as she didn't bother to look up. Everypony clinked mugs (Minus Rainbow Dash) as they drank slowly, savoring every delicious drop.
"Into the forest Flam! We"ll lose them there!" Flim shrieked as they drove into the Everfree Forest; the most dangerous place in Equestria. The unicorns' car cleared a path for them as they zoomed along. Timberwolves and other monsters were to scared to come any closer to the unicorns, for fear that they would be run over. Only when the mob's war cries were very very faint, the unicorns stopped their car. They strained their ears to check if they were near. The only sound that they heard from the mob was "TIMBERWOLVES" and a lot of screaming. Flim checked the car to check if everything was okay from the travel, when his eyes widened in shock.
"Brother... it seems that we are out if gas." Flam jumped into Flim's spot as he checked for himself. Flim tried turning on the car to see if they could go any further, but the machine didn't respond. Flam smacked the back of his brother's head. "You idiot! I told you to refill our locomotion after we were run out of Trottingham!"
"There was no time. Instead of pies, they had shotguns!"
"Never-mind that Flim, now we have to push our car." For half an hour, the duo pushed and pulled the car through miles of endless trees and bushes. Soon they paused for a break in a field of dark green flowers.
Flim thought hard for a moment before a light bulb appeared above his head. "I have an idea Flam. We can ask for forgiveness by bringing them these flowers. For the slightest chance, we won't be run out. Maybe somewhere else in Ponyville we can set up shop."
"If it doesn't work, we can still buy some gas with the bits we have and come back here," Flam mused.
The two brothers grabbed as many flowers as they could, and many more with their magic as they walked through the forest. After an hour both brothers were very tired. About two miles ago, they had to leave the flowers behind that they carried with their magic, or else they felt like they would drop dead of exhaustion.
"Brother of mine, we have only been carrying light-weight flowrs for an hour, how can we be tired? After all, we've carried heavier stuff than that." Flam panted. Suddenly he messed himself. "I'm sorry... I never knew I had... to go." His face was beet red and tearing up. Flim just stood there in shock as he messed himself as well.
"But... But... I didn't have to!" Flim cried as the warm yellow liquid trickled down his leg. How could this have happened? Before Flim was able to think any further, his head was racked with migraines. The forest seemed to be growing and spinning around to the stallions eyes.. The two brothers held their heads in pain as they blacked out.
Flam was first to regain consciousness. When he opened his eyes, he was met with a big surprise. It looked like the woods grew twice in height. He turned to face his brother and accidentally let out a scream. His brother was now a sleeping foal. Flam covered his mouth and looked around. His voice was so high pitched. The screaming woke up Flim as he slowly woke up. "Dear bro-" Flim covered his mouth as well. Flim stopped for a moment as he felt around his snout; it felt like he was missing something.
"Somepony quick! Get me a mirror!" Flam pointed to a small puddle nearby. Flim rushed as fast as he could to the puddle and peered inside. His beautiful mustache was gone! In his place was now a little foal. Flim this time could not help it. Tears started to flow through his eyes as he messed one more time. The baby brothers' ears perked up. "TIMBERWOLVES," Flam whispered. The two scrambled in a ditch nearby and hoped that nothing heard them.
"Shhhh... I think the monster is gone, Flim," Flam quietly crawled out. Before he could react, a cotton sack scooped him up and trapped him. "Flam?" Flim looked up to see a sinister looking smile. Suddenly a hoof grabbed his urine soaked legs and dragged him back.
"HELP! SOMEPONY HELP US! WE'RE BEING KIDNA- umm... I mean FOALNAPPED!" Flim was thrown into the sack with his brother. The duo struggled to escape, but they weren't strong enough to climb up, and the sack was so warm...
Flim and Flam woke up for a second time, except in front of a glowing candle. They reared back only to bump into a tree. When their eyes adjusted to their surroundings, their jaws dropped in awe. Instead of Twilight Sparkle's house which was turned into a library, this one was covered with spooky masks, ancient drawings, and potions. A odd looking pony trotted up to the unicorns. It looked like a female pony, except it was white with black stripes covering her body; a zebra.
"What have we have here?
Two little foals in the forest, so queer."
"You both look so familiar, like somepony I should know,
Were you the ones' that gave the ponies a horrible show?"
Flim took another step back, forgetting he was all ready against the wall."What are you saying lady? We don't want any trouble." The zebra chuckled.
"My name is Zecora and I would not like to be addressed like that,"
How would you like if I made fun of your infantile state and called you fat?"
The younger brothers examined themselves more closely. They looked about seven months old, thank goodness past the stage of breastfeeding. Their eyes were humongous and they had lingering baby fat. They started crying when they relized their cutie mark was gone. Flim and Flam tried to stop, but their hormones wouldn't listen.
"AHA! I do know you!
Your the ones that scammed the ponies, through and through."
Flim and Flam exchanged nervous glances. News does travel fast in Equestria.
"However you both are mere colts and make mistakes,
that is why I am giving you both a second chance, and to see what you have that it takes."
Zecora looked at the brothers amusingly before her eye wandered to their pee-stained legs.
"It appears that you have touched a rare form of Poision Joke
It has affected you in a way that makes ponies laugh so hard that they choke."
"This isn't like the blue joke's mate,
In order to be cured you have to beg forgiveness for the mare you most hate."
Now Flim and Flam were really in for it. Flam cautiously walked up to the tall zebra. "Now lad-uh, I mean Zecora, we refuse to apologize to that awful mare. Sweet Apple Acres was supposed to be ours, not them. Besides we can make more cider than the Apple Family. We should have won."
"Very well then, we can play this way,
but one question, where will you stay?"
"I will not let you be here because I can't take care of young,
I know that you don't have any gas, so hold your tongue."
"There is only one solution; go to the Apple Family, it is getting late,
otherwise, meet your fate."
The siblings reluctantly agreed. They couldn't stay anywhere else because they were run out of every town they visited. Applejack was also the most forgiving, and the most likely. Zecora gently ruffled their hair, which caused them to grumble in anger, and placed them into their bag. As Zecora trotted out of the Everfree Forest, the brothers had a very hard time staying awake, and soon succumbed to sleep.
A hard poke at the unicorns' sides was all it took for them to wake up. "Five more minutes Flam," Flim groggily mutters as he sat up and yawned. When the flap of the sack opened, Flim shrank back in fear. Applejack's stern angry face was the only thing he saw. "Ya' know Ah' have a bone to pick with ya'll."
"What?!? STOP! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Both foals cried in union as they were dunked into ice cold water.
"Er... St-stop thrashing Flam!" Applejack howled as she furiously scrubbed the brother. "Oh No you're NOT Flim!" She dragged the foal back into the tub. "Stop dragging me!" The orange farm pony was not in a good mood. She nearly lost her farm to these imbeciles, and was whined at by a bunch of her customers that she didn't make enough cider. Now she was taking all her frustration on these two foals.
After 15 minutes of intense scrubbing, the yellow colts were now squeaky clean. Their tear-streaked faces widened in surprise as Applejack picked them up. "Ya'll are so cute Ah' can barely stay mad at ya'." She blew into Flam's belly, which caused him to squeal in disgust.
"Dear filly, we are perfectly capable adults, we can take care of ourselves," Flim bluntly stated.
Applejack surpassed a smile. "Sure, just like when ah' opened the bag before you woke up. Ah' saw ya'll sucking on your hooves. Not to mention why ah' had you give ya'll a bath."
"AWWWWWWWWW CUTE LITTLE BABIES!" Three sets of arms scooped up the brothers and tossed them in the air. Only when they starting screaming, the foals were put down and they got a better look at their captors. There were three little fillies, an orange pegasus, a white unicorn, and a yellow earth pony. The babies immediately recognized the earth pony Applebloom as the one they competed against. Flim and Flam silently prayed that Applebloom didn't recognize them.
"Girls, go away for a moment. I want a closer look at these foals." It seemed that their prayer wouldn't be answered. Applebloom stuck her snout in the brothers faces. "Ya'll are the ones that tried to run us outta our farm! I want to beat the living daylights out of ya'll, maybe ah' can get my black-eye cutie mark, but your babies. Applejack says I can't hurt babies." The brothers held a small smile. "GIRLS COME BACK HERE!" Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo immediately rushed back.
"Applebloom who are these little colts?" Sweetie Bell's squeaky voice rang out. Applebloom gave Flim and Flam a wink. "Ah' don't know Sweetie. Applejack says that she found them in a bag alone. The white lie was partially true though. Suddenly the girls stopped talking and looked at each other; their smiles widening each second. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS FOAL SITTERS YAY!"
Flim and Flam were blown back by the yelling. Scootaloo and Applebloom dragged the foals to the Apple Family house. Applebloom's smile was so big it unnerved the foals. Ah' now what we are going to do with ya'll."
"(sigh) This is a new low for us, dear brother." Flim and Flam were currently on a table while Scootaloo tried putting diapers on them, but she only succeeded putting them on their heads. They tried to struggle out of her grasp but Sweetie and Applebloom held them down. When she finally managed to strap them on, Flim started complaining. "Hey, Hey HEY! Watch it young lady! You forgot to put the baby powder on!"
Scootaloo just looked at Flim confused. "You, know so we don't get a rash? Besides we don't need these!" Before the un-mustached pony could speak any further, he soiled himself in front of the girls. "Ummm... never-mind we'll take them." A couple minutes later Flam interjected, "Hold on! your putting them on wrong again! Your supposed to tie the straps."
Applebloom's eyes narrowed. "How do you guys know so much stuff about diapers?"
Flim didn't say anything. Before cider the unicorns sold an assortment of items, including diapers.The brothers tried to hop off the changing station when Sweetie Belle put a hoof in front of them. "This time, you hold on. You guys are going to hurt yourselves if you jump down from this height!" She gently laid the colts on the floor. "Hey Applebloom! Did you say that these guys had a name?"
"Ooooo ooooo! Pick me!" Scootaloo waved her hoof in the air wildly. "How about we call them Appleseed and Olivetree?"
"How about we just call them Flim and Flam?" Their names are simple, and easy to remember." replied the earth pony.
Sweetie Bell rubbed her chin. "Hey... aren't those the names of the ponies that tried to run your family out of business? Rarity said they were horrible but charming ruffians."
"And they also look like them too! I was there!" Piped Scootaloo.
"Girls, there are many ponies in Ponyville that look alike. These colts just apparently look like the cider selling ponies. No biggie." Applebloom retorted. "Hey! I just had an idea! We can let them see Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake. I'm very sure they will have a good time. After all, the four of them are babies."
"NO!!!" Flim and Flam bellowed in union. "We will not waste our time with those drooling smelly imbeciles." The fillies looked at each other curiously. "And you can jump of a cliff."
"Ow ow ow owowowowowOWOWOWOWO!!! This is blasphemy! Please stop! It was an accide-OW!" The brothers cried. It hurt so much!
Applejack was smacking their bottoms until they were red and stinging. "Don't talk to mah' sister that way. Y'all defiantly deserve this."
The foals quickly jumped into a barrel to sooth their butts. "Is their any way that we can make this up?"
"Ah' think so. Y'all still aren't truly forgiven though."
"Applebucking? Really?" The duo looked at the muscly red stallion.
"Eeyup."
Flam glared at Big Macintosh. "There is no way young man that we can buck all of these trees! Not to mentionWe are eight month foals and we don't have our car to help."
"Well...there is always such thing as manual labor, and for the foal part, y'all can start small." He lightly kicked a small flimsy tree which caused several apples to fall into a bucket nearby. "Now y'all try."
Flim and Flam cautiously approached two other small trees and hit it with all their might. Flam got it right on the spot, while Flim accidentally lost his footing and hit his head on the tree, which actually dropped some apples. Big Macintosh walked up to the bawling Flim and shoved a green pacifier in. Before the foal could spit it out, the pacifier started to feel nice. He continued to suck until his tears turned into trickles. "That helped...a lot."
The brothers got right back to work, except both of them had helmets on. "It's starting to get dark. Y'all better come to the farmhouse." Applejack called out across the field.
The two trotted to the house, but not before Mac picked them up by the scruff and placed them on Mac's back. "Y'all take too long."
The warm atmosphere in the house was truly exciting. That, and there were tons of mugs of cider. "Cider!" Flim and Flam yelled. Before they were even halfway, Applebloom stood the foals' way. "Ya' know ah' want cider too, but ya' can't. Ah' too young, and little foals like you especially don't need any."
With a sigh, Flim and Flam jumped onto some chairs, while the rest of the family started gathering around. "Food's on everypony!" Applejack said while carrying trays of various apple foods. "No ya' don't Flim and Flam. Ya need to sit in the high chair, we don't want y'all to get food all over the place. Just be glad y'all don't have bibs.
She placed them into two yellow high chairs and brought them some steaming apple fritters and apple cider juice. "Eat up now. Y'all need to grow big and strong." The orange earth pony chuckled at that last statement.
Turns out, eating as a foal was super hard. Their magic was obviously week, and the foals were super clumsy. How do earth ponies live like this? Flim and Flam'e only option was to eat like a dog, and unfortunately that option was super messy. By the time the brothers were finished, they had food all over their face. Applejack started rubbing the brothers' faces hard. "Ah knew I should have put the bib on y'all."
After dinner came bedtime. "But ah'm not tired." Applebloom whined as she was pushed upstairs by her sister. "Besides, where are Flim and Flam gonna sleep?"
"They're going to sleep with me." With the finial slam of the door, Applejack sighed in exhaustion. "C'mon now. Let's go to bed." Soon all three were cuddling together. 'Man, these foals are super soft.' Applejack thought.
Before she fell asleep, a voice spoke up. "Applejack, I'm sorry." Flam was on top of her belly with puppy eyes. "I didn't mean to truly run you and your family out of the farm, we just wanted to make a profit. Please forgive us." "Yeah." Flim said as well.
"Well boys...ah' forgive y'all. You're sorry, and I believe it. Apology accepted." Before falling asleep, Flim thought he saw a zebra winking outside the window.
Flam woke up, only to find his body on the floor. "I wasn't that far from the edge of the bed." Looking around he noticed that everything was smaller. "Wake up dear brother!" Flam shook Flim. "We're normal again!"
"Indeed we are, Flam."
"Let's scram before Applejack finds us." Flim nodded towards the sleeping form of Applejack.
"I agree, but first we must thank her."
Applejack woke up to only find everything silent. "Flim? Flam?" Nothing. As she looked around the room, she found that the brothers were gone. All that was left was a note on her dresser.
Dear Applejack, (And family)
We wanted to thank you for the wonderful time we had. We are very sorry for the inconvenience.
Sincerely,
Flim and Flam