IT IS MORALLY WRONG TO ALLOW SUCKERS TO KEEP THEIR MONEY
After a hard day's work, Lyra found herself in need of a drink. She decided to finally try out the new bar that opened up a few doors down. If she could hear the ponies laughing and singing drunkenly from her house, then surely it was a half-decent establishment with a reputable and colourful cast of frequenters. Surely.
When Lyra arrived, the sun hadn't yet set, but the bar was already full-to-bursting. After proving the lone bouncer that she was above the legal drinking age, Lyra stumbled her way in.
The bar was a cacophony of colours, sounds, and smells, but it all somehow blended to create a friendly atmosphere. All the ponies Lyra passed were eager to welcome her into their drinking groups with open forelegs, but she politely declined. Maybe in the future she'd join such a sect, but tonight her eyes were set on the only available bar stool.
Surprisingly, nopony managed to steal the seat before she got there. Hopping up onto the stool, Lyra ordered. "Can I get... uh..."
Lyra trailed off, realizing that she had no idea what she wanted. The bartender somehow raised an eyebrow impatiently.
"Uh... I guess I'll take whatever's most popular tonight," she said.
"Comin' right up."
While Lyra waited for her drink, she glanced to the left and saw a shifty-eyed earth pony that looked like he'd seen better days. After briefly making eye contact, the earth pony gulped nervously and looked away.
Lyra narrowed her eyes. Just what was this pony up to?
Before she could muster up the courage to ask, the bartender returned with a mug of hard cider.
"'ere you go." The bartender placed the frothing pint in front of Lyra. "If ya need a refill, jus' holler."
"Thank you," Lyra replied. She bent down and cautiously took a sip. It wasn't as strong as she thought it might be, and it left behind the pleasant taste of apples.
As she leaned her head in to take another sip, Lyra eyeballed the earth pony once more. Sure enough, he was watching her, and nervously looked away again. A medium-sized bag full of something was being moulded by fidgeting hooves. Suddenly, the pony stopped jittering and took a deep breath, almost like he decided on something internally.
Before she could ask if the earth pony wanted something, he placed the bag on the counter and slid it over to Lyra, bumping her glass and spilling a portion of the foam.
"Hey!" Lyra exclaimed, but when she turned to confront the strange pony, he was already forcing his way through the crowd with single-minded intensity. He glanced back once with terror in his eyes, and didn't look back after that. Nopony else seemed to notice—or at least, didn't pay any attention—to what had just occurred.
Confused, Lyra gingerly slid her glass aside and pulled the bag closer. After fumbling with the drawstrings, she finally managed to get it open. Her eyes widened when she did so.
Inside was a gleaming pile of bits, with a small piece of paper on top. With a trembling body, Lyra levitated the piece of paper onto the table. It read:
I'm so sorry for not having your payment ready on time, Mister Scarred Face. It won't happen again. I added an additional two hundred bits to prove that I'm still loyal.
-Fruit Dealer
Lyra stared at the paper for almost a minute before shaking her head and crumpling up the piece of paper. It looked like she was mistaken for some sort of enforcer for organized crime.
She eyed the patrons beside her with a shifty eye. They seemed none the wiser to what transpired, nor to what the bag in front of her contained.
Making a decision, Lyra quickly tied the bag back up and, after leaving an excessively large tip to the bartender, waltzed out of the bar whilst whistling a happy tune, the bag of bits held firmly in her teeth.
After all, it was morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
ALL GREAT, WORLD-SHAKING EVENTS HAVE BEEN BROUGHT ABOUT BY THE SPOKEN WORD
Lyra stepped onto the podium, flanked on both sides by burly unicorns dressed like they were ready for war. They were, but that wasn't the point. With a subtle head movement by Lyra, the guards bowed respectfully and retreated back down the steps, leaving Lyra Heartstrings alone in the centre of the podium. She approached the pedestal and looked out into the distance.
A veritable sea of colour looked back. Ponies from near and far; of all species, sizes, and colours; and from all walks of life looked respectfully back, their eyes shining. The ocean of bodies was arrayed out in front of Lyra, all looking at her and her alone. The silence was so profound that Lyra's own heart beating happily was the loudest thing.
"Ladies and gentlestallions; fillies and colts," she began, her voice amplified to everypony's ears by a simple spell. "I stand before and am happy to join you today in what will go down in history as one of the most important events to ever occur on Equestrian soil.
"Throughout our many years as a species, we have been no strangers to war. From the Storming of Castle Ironclaw against the gryphons nearly a thousand years ago, to the Defence of Vanhoover from the minotaur armada, our ancestors were forced to fight tooth and hoof for the land we now call Equestria."
Lyra paused for a moment to let her words sink in.
"A year ago today, we began our fight for freedom—for the right to live our lives without fear of being prosecuted for our speech, expression, or thought.
"A year ago today, we stood up the Princesses and showed that we would not be bought with false promises said through evil smiles.
"A year ago today, we started a civil war—one that was centuries in the making.
"Today... we finished it."
Lyra felt tears streaming down her cheeks. They were as real as the air she breathed.
"The pillars of lies that were the foundation of the monarchy toppled beneath the collective might of all ponykind against deceit and tyranny.
"Today...
"We are free."
A deafening applause burst out of the crowd like an erupting volcano, showering Lyra with zealous cheers. She stepped down from the podium and glanced to the side. The thunderous applause of tens of thousands of ponies was enough to collapse the last remnants of the Royal Palace. Lyra smiled.
As was the truth with generations before her, it still held true that all great, world-shaking events have been brought about by the spoken word.
