My story begins where so many others end; with death. None are so familiar with death as I; for I have lived many centuries, and died countless times. Untold dozens of lives have ended in this same way; a slow decline in health, both physical and mental. This form fades away, my tenuous connection to this world slowly dwindling, like the last glow of a cooling ember. It is here, however, that my tale diverges from the set way of things; for my ember does not simply fade away to nothing. Quite the opposite, in fact. With a gout of flame akin to a solar flare, I burn to ash in excruciating pleasure. When the flames subside I emerge, renewed, from the ashes as a fledgling.
My name is Philomena.
I am a Phoenix.
And for her, I’d do it all again.
I wasn’t always this way. Once, many centuries ago, I was just a servant filly to the Crown, catering to the mysterious Goddess of the Sun that had fallen from the sky in a blaze of glory. Oh, what a ruckus that caused. Her sister wasn’t known until much later, shy thing that she was, though I suspect that she’d been there all along. Together, they tamed the wild skies and brought peace to our land. With the establishment of seasons bringing an end to the unpredictable cycles of hot and cold, we were finally able to grow enough food to live beyond eking out a bare survival. No longer forced to fend off starving raiders, we knew peace for the first time. Our warriors took up trades and crafts instead of arms, and a city was founded upon this crater in the Everfree, the place where it all began. To honor the bringers of peace and prosperity, a magnificent castle was constructed in the heart of the city. Housing the Goddesses and their government, construction on the castle marked the ushering of a new age.
By destiny or just dumb luck, I found myself by Goddess Celestia’s side one fateful day, during a particularly unruly meeting between Goddess Celestia and one of the local Pegasus clans. I’d only been a member of Her Radiance’s staff for a few weeks, and was still a bit uneasy near her. After all, it isn’t often one gets to share the room with a Goddess. At this meeting, Her Radiance was attempting to persuade the clan to help regulate the weather in exchange for food; an offer the Pegasi blindly revoked out of foolish pride. How she withstood the name-calling and degrading comments, I’ll never know. Perhaps it was uncertainty about how to respond without further angering the clan, or maybe it was Her Radiance’s dedication to diplomacy that allowed her to hold her tongue; I cannot say which. What I can say, however, is that I had no such compunction to hold me back. Even in those days, I had a fiery temper so fierce it was the stuff of infamy.
I am not sure if their shocked looks were due to the volume of my outburst, or to the stream of curses that flew from my mouth; either way, I can always revisit that particular memory for a good laugh whenever need be. Once my outburst had finished echoing in the halls, negotiations proceeded smoothly. I felt my cheeks burning hotter than a forge, and the look I received from Her Radiance did nothing to placate my fears. If I had to describe it, I think that bemused would be the closest word for that look she gave me. When the meeting eventually drew to a close, I expected my service to be promptly terminated and for me to be tossed out on my rump.
With a nod of the head, my life changed forever. Far from upset, Goddess Celestia found my interjection to have been a game changer, allowing her to turn the tide of the negotiations, and insisted that I accompany her to future negotiations and diplomatic endeavors. Goddess Celestia motioned for me to accompany her after that meeting, and I seldom left her side thereafter. I was by her side a few months later as she changed her title from “Goddess” to “Princess”, after finding that the former tended to intimidate her allies to some extent. Words cannot convey the swelling of pride, joy, and other unnamed feelings that surged through me when she asked me to call her simply “Celestia” in private. The weeks turned into months, and I found myself in the position of her advisor, my lifetime of experience dealing with the various clans and tribes of the area proving to be an invaluable asset to diplomacy. Sitting on her right side was an honor and a privilege beyond any I’d ever expected, and together, we united the tribes and clans; a Nation was born.
As soon as we were behind closed doors, it was as if a switch was flipped. Gone was the facade of professionalism; in its place there was the easy manner of lifelong friends, despite the fact that we’d only been working together for a few months at that time. The months soon began to blend together, only the change of seasons marked the passage of time in any real way. Time marched inexorably forward, as is its wont, and with it came change. These changes were not all external to me, not by far, and I soon found myself experiencing things I’d never dreamt of in my wildest fantasies. Visiting the towns that had begun to spring up and prosper, seeing aspects of culture far different from my own, and most importantly, spending time with my close friend, Celestia.
Those were grand days, indeed, though there were a few rough spots in there as well. One reason that Celestia and I got along so famously was because I had no compunction about telling her that she was wrong, with challenging her. This was always behind closed doors, of course; it just wouldn’t do to have the other diplomats see us in such spirited debates. Sure, we might have argued a bit more than necessary. But with a pair of hot-headed, fiery tempers like ours, it was not unexpected.
I’m not sure at what point I began to view our friendship as a “relationship,” only that it felt entirely natural. One evening, poring over a boundary and trade proposal as the moon climbed to the peak of the sky, our eyes met in the flickering candle light. I saw in her eyes the same emotion I felt in mine, and that was it. It was then, our cheeks flushed with joy and sore from smiles, when something clicked. There was nothing awkward or shameful about it; this was simply right. Things progressed from there, albeit a tad slowly for my tastes. Celestia always had more patience than I, and it had been the source of numerous good-spirited debates. I favored a quick resolution to anything that arose within the nation, whereas she preferred to bide her time until things were just as they should be before acting.
Through the years, we became more than just partners in diplomacy… so very, very much more. She was my first love; and I, hers. We had grown so close in such a short time, it occasionally seemed as if we knew each other better than we knew ourselves. The immutable march of time trudged on slowly at times, while seemingly vanishing in the blink of an eye at others; all the while, Celestia and I explored new boundaries, geographic and romantic alike. One special night early in our relationship, while we explored new realms of ourselves, a threshold was crossed; for one glorious instant we were not two separate entities, but rather, a single organism borne of fiery passion. In the afterglow and the exhaustion, I mumbled, more to myself than to anypony else, “I love you, ‘Tia.”
I can still recall with perfect lucidity the pang of fear that shot through me at this slip. I’d long since ceased viewing Celestia as an omnipotent being, capable of wielding phenomenal cosmic power with a whim, seeing her instead as she really was: a pony in need of a friend, who also happens to wield phenomenal cosmic power at a whim. Scary, but still a pony in need of a friend. All of these long forgotten fears came rushing to the surface of my mind, foolish creature that I was, as I believed I’d slighted Celestia with a pet name.
The look upon her face… such a vision of beauty and regality I beheld, that it drove a tear from my eye. Her smile was more radiant and captivating than any sunrise, and her eyes seemed to envelop me in a warm embrace. It was her mouth, though, that stole the breath from my lips, figuratively and then literally. In a golden voice that was the sound of the sun incarnate, overflowing with tenderness, warmth, and comfort, there came the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. “I love you too, ‘Mina.”
In the months that followed, I had to re-learn how to act in public. ‘Tia and I had agreed ahead of time that we should keep our relationship from the public eye, lest any diplomatic rivals catch wind of it and attempt to use our relationship as leverage against one another. At first, it was extraordinarily difficult to smother my urges, and I wound up trying too hard to avoid staring. ‘Tia soon began receiving covert messages, offering to take my place by her side as primary advisor. ‘Tia and I would read these together and have a hearty laugh over them from time to time, marveling at the not-so-subtle ways that scheming ponies tried to use a perceived rift between us for their own personal goals. In time my acting improved, and the letters came to a trickling halt thereafter.
Our years together were long and joyous; they contained a thousand lifetime’s worth of happiness between them. ‘Tia was as glorious and radiant as ever, her beauty constant through the ages. I, on the other hoof, was not so lucky as to be immortal. Years were beginning to take their toll upon my flesh, and I felt each winter’s bite a little more keenly than the last. I wished not to bother ‘Tia with my petty complaints, but she knew. She knew even before I did; it was her extra care and attention that caused me to realize the ravages of time upon me. Her smile was as kind as ever, and just as full of love, but there was something else there as well. Fear crept into her smile, deepening the lines around her eyes and stealing some of the twinkle from her gaze.
It was at that time in my life that everything took a turn for the worse. At first, ‘Tia seemed mildly distracted. When I inquired to her about it, she simply smiled her wonderful smile and told me not to fret; that it was something magical and not to worry about it. Being a Pegasus in love with an inherently magical creature, I’d received similar responses before and let it go without a second thought. Sometime later, I noticed that she was still distracted, if not more so. ‘Tia had never met a magical obstacle she couldn’t overcome in relatively short order, not since I’d known her at least. When I asked her again about the source of her worries, I was again rebuked, however softly. My temper was every bit as fiery then as it had been in my youth, but I’d learned something even more potent in my years: patience. Though I was hurt and upset about being brushed off, I chose not to give in to my annoyance and instead trust in ‘Tia. After all, she would never let me down. Would she?
Time, in its usual manner, passed me by, taking my days with it. The summer was fading to fall, and the temperature was not the only thing to grow colder with each new day. ‘Tia, the light of my life, my best friend, lover, my partner in every way possible, was becoming more engrossed in her studies each day. As the shadows grew, so too did her apparent frustration. Whatever it was that she’d been working on for all these months vexed her still, and it was pulling her away from me. It hurt me, very deeply, to see my love being pulled away like that; to see the attention she once lavished on me being directed elsewhere, on some unknowable endeavor of hers. And so it was no great surprise that I fell ill with the first snap of winter, without any apparent notice from my dear ‘Tia.
For two weeks I was bedridden, too weak even to feed myself, with naught for company but the nurses who fed and bathed me. The third week saw my return to physical health, but not much else. For two weeks I’d laid in the cover’s creases, moaning the name of my beloved, wanting nothing more than to have her by my side. Yet she did not come. It had occurred to me at the onset of my illness that I was drawing near the end of my days among the living. Celestia, the perfect, immaculate, and immortal being that she is, had simply moved on; something far more important than I had caught her eye. We’d had fun while it lasted, but my time by her side was at its end, and so was I. I resolved, upon walking from the infirmary, that I would not burden her with my presence any longer. It would be selfish of me to demand her attention when she obviously had something more important to tend to.
It came to pass that my last two months, the second of which was spent in a hospital bed, passed by without so much as a glimpse of my beloved ‘Tia. I was tired all the time, just so tired, even though I’d done nothing but lie in bed all day. I could feel then that my end was very near. The weariness in my bones sat there like a chill, and there was nothing to be done to drive it away. I lost all appetite, forcing food down only because it seemed like the proper thing to do, at least until my stomach rebelled. No longer able to keep solid food down, I was put on a liquid diet. Within a week, that too was coming up. Unable to eat at all, my days were all but numbered. Dreaming, or remembering; awake, or sleeping; I could hardly tell any more, as all that I was and had been blended together into a mass of “me”. At the last, I was nothing more than an amalgamation of ‘Mina.
With a heart laden by the love of a thousand lifetimes and the pain and regret of its loss, I closed my eyes for the last time, one final word escaping my lips. “’Tia…” With that final breath, I felt the cool embrace of death taking me, and I was no more.
Oh, if only it had ended there…
Blinding, ripping, searing light; pain so powerful it felt like pleasure; a strange thrum that vibrated in every fiber of my being, tearing them to shreds. Then, nothing. No pain. No thrumming. Just the feeling of warmth, the comfortable warmth of being embraced by a loved one. Slowly, the thrum started up once more, though far more gently this time. Instead of tearing me apart, it felt as if I was being pulled together. Like moths to a flame, the fragments of “me” were being pulled towards the thrum, gathering and coalescing into a solid form once more. I felt myself taking on weight and substance again, felt the terrifying sensation of every part of my being screaming out that something wasn’t right, felt myself open my eyes. Blinding pain assaulted my eyes for a moment before fading to nothing more than a bright light, as my eyes adjusted to the glare. What I saw behind the glare of the lights made absolutely no sense to me. Impossibly far above me, countless times her actual size, there stood a Celestia of colossal proportions. It was as if she’d grown to thirty times her size since I’d seen her last.
My eyes wandered away from the impossible sight before me, looking for a reprieve, something to allow my brain to gather itself; what I saw offered no comfort at all. Everything around me seemed as if it had been made for giants. Even the bed atop which I lay was larger than a farmer’s field. Vertigo swept over me, and I reached up to cover my eyes, a reflexive gesture. As the limb moved, another wave of unease swept over me. There was not any single part of my body that felt as it should. Crimson feathers swept across my vision, further adding to my disorientation. Why was my wing where my foreleg should be? This new sensory overload mingled with remnants of the deep thrum within me, and I lapsed into merciful unconsciousness.
When I dreamed, I dreamed in fire. My mind was awash in waves of sensations I’d never experienced before, as a strange and luminous presence lingered at the edge of my consciousness. The presence retreated whenever I tried to focus on it, remaining maddeningly elusive. The harder I tried to capture it, the more swiftly it retreated; my annoyance and frustration at this served to drive me back to consciousness. The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes were bars. Splendidly gilded and ornate though they were, they were bars nonetheless. I was in a gilded cage.
I felt the icy grip of fear tightening around my throat as it registered that I was imprisoned. I scrambled to my hooves, only to find that I had none; this came as quite a shock to me, I assure you. The only thing that prevented me from having a spectacular meltdown at that juncture was a silky voice, which cut through my mental fog like a shining beacon on a clear night. Celestia, my beloved ‘Tia, was calling my name. I froze in place, wondering if I had simply imagined it, when it came again. “’Mina, my dear, sweet ‘Mina…what have I done?”
Slowly, I turned to face the source of the melody, ignoring all the ways that my body felt wrong. Nothing at all could be more important than the love of my life calling out to me. I had only an instant to ponder the implications of her words, for my thoughts ground to a halt once I saw her beyond the bars of my prison.
There she stood, gargantuan beyond reason, beyond fathom. She’d always been a bit taller than me, but only by a half a head or so. The ‘Tia before me now towered higher than the spires in the capitol, every bit as imposing as she was magnificent. Despite her beauty, I could not smile at her; the sadness in her eyes robbed me of every ounce of joy I’d ever possessed. Those once beautiful eyes had once gazed upon me with love and adoration beyond words; now, they held naught but pity and regret. The sight of those wondrous pools of amethyst and magenta filled with pity and regret all but robbed them of their splendor, leaving a twisted and macabre caricature in their place. It was too terrible for me to endure, so I looked away. I looked to the floor, for I was not worthy of looking anywhere else. Clearly, whatever had been done to me had made me into an abomination.
As my gaze fell to the floor, it fell upon a pair of talons, not unlike those adorning the front of a griffin. This was too much, simply too much for one creature to bear; I did the only thing I could, and I wept. Each sob came out a twisted and cackling shriek, sounding like something from the depths of a nightmare. I wept silently after that; and it was because I was silent that I knew I was not the only one to weep. From beyond the bars, there arose the sound of soft sniffles.
It tore at something deep within me, hearing ‘Tia cry like that. In all of our years, I’d never seen her be more than mildly upset at anything, so to see her in tears was unprecedented. What sort of horrible deformations must I have endured to upset her so? Unable to stop myself, I looked up to seek her gaze. I wore my shame and guilt upon my sleeve, silently apologizing for my terrible deformities, whatever they may be. It shocked me beyond words to see the same expression upon her face as well, as if she blamed herself for my current condition; once she wiped her tears away and began to speak, it became all too clear why.
“’Mina, my dear, sweet ‘Mina… I’m so sorry. This… this wasn’t supposed to happen, you weren’t supposed to be like this…” A choked sob escaped from her throat. What… what had happened to me? “I couldn’t stand to lose you, not after all these years. Not after all we’ve been through together. So about a year ago, I began an experiment. All I wanted was for you to be by my side forever… was that too much to ask?”
She shielded her face in her wing, soft sobs issuing from beneath. A year ago… that was when she’d first become distracted by her little project. I felt myself getting sick to my stomach as the pieces started to line up. The sobs were stifled, and ‘Tia began again.
“I poured through every tome in the land, wrote every unicorn of note in every corner of the world, and none could provide anything to help. Not even the Zebras and their alchemical brilliance could shed light on this conundrum. Finally, I reached a breakthrough with the dragons in the far lands, about three months ago. Ancient and wise, they are the keepers of magic beyond fathom; it was this very magic that I hoped to use to make you immortal, to keep you by my side for eternity. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, and it was you who paid the price for my blind ambition.”
With each word, the icy ball in my stomach grew heavier, colder. I wasn’t able to look her in the eyes anymore, and my gaze fell heavily back to the talons that were now mine. Celestia… my love, my partner, my reason to smile every day… she had done this to me? She’d all but abandoned and neglected me in the last moments of my life so that she could pursue this project of hers? And for what, at what cost? Was I truly immortal, or just a hopelessly deformed abomination, waiting for death? As the questions burned through my mind, it all kept coming back to one question: How? How could she do this to me? I wanted to ask, to demand an answer from her, but I could not speak. Instead, it was her voice that broke the tense silence between us.
“’Mina, I’m sorry. For everything. For the way I treated you, the way I neglected you when you needed me most, and for not telling you. I was… I was afraid you’d say no. That you would tell me to stop, that you didn’t want to live forever. I was afraid, because I knew I would do it anyways.” My heart fluttered to a stop as a dagger of ice pierced it. She’d have done this to me even if I’d asked her not to?
I saw red as rage flooded through me. The thought that she would have callously disregarded my dying wish infuriated me. I felt the thrumming in my chest resonating with anger, its vibrations echoing through my entire being. The air around me began to shimmer with heat, pulsing in time with the thrum within me. A new sensation was washing over me, one that was sickeningly seductive; it was the sensation of power. Raw, unfiltered power, beyond the scope of anything I’d ever imagined was flowing through me. My body was a living conduit, and it seemed to be tapped into an endless supply of power. This feeling was intoxicating beyond anything I’d ever experienced before by an order of magnitude. Just before I lost myself to the rage in my heart, a voice called out to me through the smoke and the flames, calling me back to my senses.
“’Mina, please… I’m sorry. I’m sorry… There’s more. I’m not done yet, there’s more to this.” I shot her a glare that would have sent most scampering away in fear, but only drew a pained wince from her. Immediately, I felt ashamed of this. Justified as my rage might have been, this was still the mare that I’d loved, and I felt guilty for delighting in her pain. I sighed deeply and hung my head as the flames around me died out. Shifting back and forth on her hooves, ‘Tia resumed her confession. “The spell was incredibly complex, and it required a massive amount of power to pull off. Tirelessly, we worked on its intricacies. The spell was designed to tear fire from the sun and bind it to your soul, so that its life was bound to yours; you would live as long as the sun did. And even after all the work that was put into it, it was still unstable; there was something critical missing, and none of us could figure out what it was. Each and every day, the nurses reported your worsening condition to me. With every passing day, my urgency grew.”
Celestia wiped a tear from her eye, looking wistfully at the setting sun as she continued. “Just when all seemed lost, seemed like all the time I’d stolen from you, that I’d not spent by your side was for naught, I had an epiphany. The missing piece, that mysterious variable we needed to stabilize the spell and fully bind it to your soul… it was me. It was a piece of my own soul. The sun and I share a bond unlike any other; its magic and mine are one in the same. I am it, and it is me. I knew, just knew that this was right. The solution we’d been searching for. I didn’t have a chance to calculate the spell’s effects or how this new piece would affect the spell’s matrix. News had come that you were slipping away by the second, so I just cast it right there. I… I had no idea it would turn out like this. The magic of the sun is more ancient than even the dragons, and it is fickle at best. In exchange for eternal life, it took something in exchange… it took your form, made you into something new.”
My mind simply reeled as it tried to process the implications of this. Part of the sun, and part of Celestia’s soul, were both entwined with mine, binding my life to that of the sun. I was effectively immortal, but at what cost? My body was no longer my own, taken as an offering in exchange for immortality and replaced with who-knows-what. Something with feathers and talons, that’s what. Something with the ability to command fire to a certain extent as well. My initial reaction was “fire chicken”, but I dismissed the thought immediately. There was no way that, with a piece of Celestia’s soul inside me, I’d have the form of a chicken. No, it had to be something far grander, more regal. I was quite suddenly consumed by an intense desire to know exactly what I looked like, and began to frantically search my surroundings for a mirror or other reflective surface. As if on cue, ‘Tia’s golden glow floated a small mirror across the room.
What I saw there took my breath away. I was a bird, that much was certain; but, oh, what a magnificent bird I was! Crimson feathers shimmered in the faint light spilling through the window, while splendid golden primaries poked out from beneath, coming to a rather sharp-looking point. My tail was quite long, sporting a similar palette to my wings. The sight of me was simultaneously beautiful and heartbreaking. My life had been taken from me without my consent or knowledge, and my beloved body had been replaced by this one. Beautiful as it may have been, it wasn’t mine. I was merely a stranger in this skin. That, however, was not the worst part of this whole ordeal.
By losing my body, I’d lost so much more than just skin and bone. I’d lost the ability to “be” with ‘Tia in any way. Never again would I know her touch, feel her heart beating against mine. The part of me that had been taken could not be replaced, could never be made whole again. For the second time that day, I wept. In the growing darkness of evening, ‘Tia left me to my emotions.
For several days, I mourned. I did not eat or drink, nor did I sleep. I was as still as a statue. Despite my lack of sustenance, I did not hunger or grow thirsty. I simply stood on my perch and lamented all I’d lost, all that had been taken from me. Eventually, the tears ran dry. I’d never been one to sit around and wallow in inactivity, and I’d grown bored of my perch quite some time ago. The door to the cage was open, and had been since ‘Tia had finished her confession. She’d made it clear that I was free to go, that she would understand if I left and never returned. For a while, I’d actually contemplated it; at least until I realized how much I still loved her. Despite it all, I had loved her for far too long and far too deeply to just let it all end here.
As I’d sat there on my perch, the entity in my mind had come to keep me company. I felt the warm presence at the edge of my consciousness once more, though I was far too preoccupied with moping to chase it down again. I found that the longer I ignored it, the closer it came. It began to caress the edges of my mind, to gently poke and prod at the corners. Its touch was warm and familiar, though I could not understand why at first. It was only when I fully lowered my guard and all but invited the presence in that its nature became clear. When ‘Tia bound her soul to mine, a bridge of sorts was created; across this bridge, slender tendrils of her remaining soul sought out their missing piece and found me instead. By chasing it, I had driven it back; it was only when I accepted it and invited it in that it was able to bond with me, with my soul.
With that, our souls forged a bond deeper than words have the power to convey. Shortly after the connection was made, I began to notice feelings that were not my own, though they were very similar. Fear, pain, regret, and a deep sadness were all there; and yet, something was off. As I focused on them, they faded away. I came to realize that they were, in fact, fragments of Celestia’s consciousness, crossing the bridge between us and entering mine. At the time I brushed the thought aside, but as my mourning concluded it returned in full force. Again unbidden, another tide of emotion flowed into me, stronger and clearer than before. This time, I could clearly tell that it was ‘Tia’s, for it radiated the same presence that she did when she entered a room. As I focused on it and tried to grasp it in my mind, it retreated from me. Recalling the lesson I’d learned earlier, I invited it to come to me but did not chase it. Sure enough, the tide of thoughts and emotion returned to and overtook me, like a wave breaking upon the shore.
Images, smells, tactile sensations, and emotions consumed me, as if I were actually ‘Tia, seeing and feeling and thinking these thoughts for myself. It was only for the briefest of moments, but that was all it took. In that moment, I fully grasped the depth of her remorse; I must say, I never knew one could harbor so much emotion and not explode. It was in that moment of perfect empathy, as I felt the same emotions that she did, that I truly forgave her; I wanted nothing more than to comfort and console her. I felt this desire pouring out from me and across the bridge, where it was grasped by a warm embrace. The connection was made, and I was on my way out of the cage in a flash.
I adjusted to my new physiology better than expected on-the-fly, as it were. I soared into the throne room and into the embrace of a tearful Princess. No words were necessary, and thus none were spoken. Everything communicated was done so over the budding connection at the speed of thought. In years to come, we would expand this link as it became more and more natural to use. With practice, we learned how to communicate thoughts, sounds, and even sight over this link, allowing us to quite literally be in two places at once. Though we were not and could never again be lovers, we remained steadfast friends.
The first time I resurrected came as a bit of a surprise to the both of us. I’d begun to molt, which was not anything new to me at the time, but then things took a frightening turn. Instead of growing new feathers to replace the old ones, I was simply losing them. One by one, my beautiful crimson plumage thinned to nothing. At the same time, my mind began to degrade as well. All of the vets and the doctors were baffled by this, for I seemed to be in utterly perfect health; there was nothing to explain my sudden and rapid decline. Through the link that we shared, ‘Tia and I surmised that this probably had something to do with the solar cycle, as it too was nearing its minimal activity period. This made a sick sort of sense, that I would grow and fade in time with the solar cycle, but it could not fully erase the doubt from the back of our minds. As my body deteriorated around me, my consciousness spent more and more time riding alongside Celestia’s, seeing what she saw and feeling what she felt. It was in this way that I was able to witness for myself the deterioration of my body, watching as if I was nothing more than a bystander to the events. Towards the very end, it didn’t even feel like it was my body anymore. It was a lifeless husk, shriveled and dry, just waiting for a spark.
When that spark came, neither of us was prepared for it. In an instant, my consciousness and body alike were engulfed in flame, burning with terrible ferocity as I was obliterated in excruciating pleasure. And then, just as soon as it had begun, it ended. I was once more a consciousness in my own shell, albeit a shell that was significantly smaller than the one I’d left. ‘Tia, on the other hoof, was not so lucky. The sensation of being burned alive was more than a bit of a shock to her, and it was weeks before the soul bridge reestablished itself. From then on, I made sure to separate myself from her consciousness in the moments before immolation, and that seemed to work just fine.
The weeks once more blended into months, into years, and into decades. ‘Tia and I traveled the expanse of our growing nation, meeting new ponies and cultures at every turn. We made friends and allies, watched them grow old, and we watched them die. The first time was the hardest on ‘Tia. Her protégé, a fine young colt by the name of Starswirl, was of a truly exceptional ilk. Aside from his odd obsession with facial hair, he was a great stallion. His passing struck very close to home for ‘Tia, and she relied heavily on my comfort to cope with his passing. When Luna succumbed to Nightmare Moon and attacked, it was I that provided vital information on her movements to ‘Tia. When the Nightmare was finally banished, I was again by ‘Tia’s side to comfort her. As the years passed, so too did the grief.
Having been destroyed in the battle, the original capitol was abandoned and forsaken. A new castle was built, far more opulent and glorious than the last; a city was founded around it and Canterlot was born. Centuries passed. I lived and died more times than I care to count, saw more than is possible to remember, and loved more than I thought possible. All the while, the nation that I helped to found continued to grow and prosper. Allies came and went, but mine and ‘Tia’s friendship held fast.
When you live forever, you learn to detach yourself from the world around you. Sure, you love, but never fully. You always care, but not too deeply. You maintain a necessary distance from those around you, because you learn early on that they will bring only pain in the end. It is sad, but that is just one facet of the cost of immortality.
When you are immortal, living long after the ones you loved have lived and died, you truly appreciate what it means to have a friend by your side. From one immortal being to another, one lover to another, I can say this with full confidence: Love is eternal, and there is no love quite like that of a friend.
When you are immortal, you truly appreciate a friend, everlasting.
