Love has no meaning without your hands on my body, your perfect lips kissing me all over. Your body on mine, weighting me down. Together breathing harshly. Moaning in loves bliss. Me, always wanting more then I should want to. Just being ourselves in between thin sheets.
How could just one chance change me, into this monster that I now call myself?
My demented mind hungers for that same moment all the time. But it's hunger over takes me, making me crash. Making me fall for you again. I just can't win this war that I have created. This heart that I call home is now gone. Tied down and beaten over and over every time I think of you.
Quietly I cry for you every night, wanting you to hold on to me telling me it will be okay. Telling me a story or singing me a little lullaby. Just making me feel a little safe from my damned life.
I am dating somepony, but every time I see the other persons face think of you. Your blonde shaggy mane, your hazel green eyes. Those perfect lips. But soon I realize that's it's just a playful trick in my mind. It hurts though, how I want you but can't have you.
I am sick of dreaming of how we meet. It's plays in my mind over multiple times while in slumber. It's driving me insane, making me crazy... More and more everyday. I JUST WANT IT TO STOP!!! Please make it stop...
Am I lost? Weaken and pained? I want to sing when you die, breathe and love. But I can't when I am so alone with out you. So cry for me, just three little tears that fall on your heartless sleeve. I shall kill. I shall cry and I shall shed blood. Nothing can stop me now. Not anymore will this innocent lady be nice and loving. Now. Shall be this monster I have to become. So loved with the thin lives of damned ponies. You'll still see this pretty, funny little filly. But deep down this monster is planning it own plan for my demise. Hanging on by a thread, breaking everyday. Getting thinner and thinner. Crying till the monster had its fill of misery. Being tired all time cause the monster in me doesn't like me to rest at all.
~*~
Just a little thing I like writing on my free time. Since school and family get in the way it took my three weeks just to write all that. IT bothers how my mom can keep breeding, saying that she loves us and that she has all the time in the world for us when she is looking at her phone. Looking at her hoof-touch. Its kinda silly on how I dont have a hoof-touch but my 11 ear old brother get one. He gets into more trouble then me too.
I just lost all if my friends today at the courtyard at school.
