Undeserving: Fidelity to a Secret

by Mr Anomalous

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Sad, Tragedy
Length: 1478

Yes. It is a question that I myself still ask. Nothing but God & Damnation are infinite, and that, unfortunately, includes books. Why must they end? Why?

Twilight Sparkle has a secret that, if released, would not only end her life, but greatly contribute in the destruction of those of her friends, her family, and, quite frankly, the whole of Equestria, shaking the foundations of the very Equis.

But the problem is…she doesn't care. She loves this secret, and acts upon it quite frequently. She can't stop. She just can't. It's not possible, at least not for her…

There's something dark inside her, something spreading like a creeping, rotting cancer, infecting her and stealing her mind whilst the real Twilight is locked away, deep inside her own self, suffering. She should fight it. She should force it back and smash it just for trying to do what it now does. Well, she did. She fought, and she fought long and hard. But the thing is…she gave up long ago.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-17 03:50:03 UTC

Prologue: Too Close

Prologue

Despite the fact that they are covered nearly head-to-toe in the third most durable biological substance found anywhere, dragons are relatively easy - and fun - to hug.

Aside from the provision of bragging rights, of course.

They're not cold-blooded, nor are they warm-blooded; their type is something entirely unique to the dragons. It's somewhere in between. Physical affection, such as hugging, kissing, ect cetera,  literally brings their body heat up to a very noticeable level, and, get this, the warmer a dragon is, the softer his scales. Other things affect their blood temperature as well, some things that would be considered normal, and some things that most ponies would probably fancy quite odd.

So yes, hugging a dragon, especially a baby one, especially this particular baby dragon, was not something that Twilight avoided, not one time in her life.

It didn't really matter; Twilight would have held her little brother in her forelegs until the end of time if he asked it of her, with or without the handy hugging-switch.

Twilight happily chuckled to herself as she sat on her haunches, embracing Spike, her personal assistant.

"I love you too, Spike."

"Good night, Twilight."

"'Night."

The purple-green creature released his mother-figure and climbed upstairs, ready to get to bed. Twilight sat for a while, contemplating her day until her mouth opened into a head-splitting yawn. It had been a good day. A long one, but a good one.

The librarian mare rubbed her eye and followed Spike up the stairs. When she peeked her head inside of their bedroom, she saw that Spike was already fast asleep, snoring quite softly. Quietly, Twilight trotted up to her own bed and slid under the covers. She closed her eyes, a content smile on her muzzle, ready to drift into a deep sleep.

She wouldn't. Oh Celestia knows she wouldn't.

While she neared her slipping into the nocturnal state, whispers began to formulate into her hearing, diving in and out of intelligible range.

Twilight mumbled.

"Not now, I'm too tired."

But the voices persisted. They wanted her to do something, it seemed.

Twilight sighed.

"Isn't it too early? The last one was only a week ago..." Twilight said, being sure to keep her voice low.

"No." Said one whisper, singling itself out. To most ponies, it would sound cold, raspy, and unloving, but to Twilight, it was had been a constant companion for many years.

"Do it."

Twilight ground her teeth. She was getting too bold, she was tired, and she just wanted to rest...

"Now." The voice growled.

Twilight spent the next few minutes in a vain attempt to ignore the voices, the lead one included, but they only got louder and more chaotic.

Twilight's nostrils opened in an annoyed flare and she set her jaw.

"Alright, fine," she mumbled, giving in to the temptation. Immediately, the cold mumbling and whispers stopped. The quiet was quite unnerving after all of that...

Twilight lay in her bed a bit more, hoping that she had tricked the whisperers, but the voices began to  bleed into Twilight's hearing yet again, so she groaned in defeat and pulled herself out from between her sheets, quietly. If she was going to continue doing this, then Spike was most definitely going to need his own room.

Twilight smiled at the thought of Spike's happy little face when she would announce that he was finally old enough to get his own room!

The annoyed mare shook her head and silently traveled out of her bedroom, down the stairs and into the living room. She sat in the center of the rug where she and Spike had hugged goodnight not an hour ago and blinked heavily, attempting to clear away the grogginess.

Again, she sighed.

"Alright, just one; a quick one."

Twilight stood again and walked into the kitchen. The curtains had been left open, permitting a few rays of dim, gray moonlight into the room, providing the necessary illumination for Twilight and her activities.

Despite her need to sleep but a few minutes earlier, a disturbing light found its way into Twilight's eyes, and a large grin split her face as she began to anticipate what she was going to do.

"Maybe more than just one..."

The book lay open on the floor, one side heavily out-weighing the other signifying that whoever had been reading it had just finished. The pages were stained with tears as a young Twilight Sparkle looked down on it, silently weeping. It had been quite the tragedy.

It was dark out, and the only source of light for what seemed like miles was a single candle one the ground that sent out its light, spawning dancing shadows across the rug.

"Mommy?" the little filly called out.

From the other side of the large room, underneath the light of her own candle, Twilight's mother looked up from a tome of her own, a concerned look on her face.

"What is it, Twilight?"

"Mommy...mommy, why do books have to end?"

Twilight's mother smiled.

"Did you finish it?"

Twilight sniffed and nodded, another tear leaking from the corner of her eye, leaving a trail of matted fur on her muzzle.

The caring smile of her mother became a sad one.

"Did you really?"

Twilight nodded again.

"Was it...good?"

Twilight shook her head.

Velvet Sparkle sighed a bit and put down her book. She approached the little filly and sat down next to her.

"Your father and I warned you..."

"I...I know. But I was just so curious, I...I wanted to know what it was about..."

Twilight rest her head on her mother, and Velvet reached out, cradling her daughter's head in her arms.

They sat in silence for a while, Twilight crying and her mother comforting.

Eventually, Velvet broke the silence by saying, "So, you want to know why books end, do you?"

Twilight nodded in her mother's grasp.

"Well, do you mean in a literal sense, or a philosophical one?"

Twilight was silent for a moment before she answered.

"Well...philosophical, I suppose. I already know why books would need to end in a literal sense; the author can't write forever, but..."

Velvet smiled again.

"Well, Twilight, I have a rather encouraging answer for you, if that is the case."

Velvet's little filly blinked away a few tears and looked up at her mother.

"W-what?"

"They don't."

Twilight frowned slightly in thought.

"What do you mean, momma?"

Velvet chuckled a bit and kissed her daughter on the forehead.

"You're a smart filly, you'll figure it out."

Twilight began to think, quickly searching for an answer. Before she could, however, Velvet cleared her throat and said, "Well, Twilight, it's late, and I think you've taxed your emotions a bit further than you should have; should I send you to bed? Your father's already asleep."

Twilight only nodded and her mother released her. They exited the room and ventured into a dark hallway, traveling into the darkness toward Twilight's room.

Then entire time, Twilight pondered her mother's question.

What does she mean books never end?

The door to the Golden Oaks library violently swung open and a very frightened and desperate mare dashed inside, slamming the door behind her.

Twilight lay against the door, her back pressed into the solid wood, tears of fear running down her face.

She had almost been caught!

The frightened unicorn let herself fall down onto all fours and shed her cloak, leaving it on the floor. She hurried into the kitchen, mumbling to herself, and pulled open a large drawer where an impressive assortment of knives rested. Twilight stood, looking at the gleaming blades for a moment before she shook her head.

There was a jumbled clink and Twilight shut the drawer.

She had almost been caught! She was this close to being found out!

"You..." Twilight growled.

Her only answer was silence.

"I told you that it was too early; there were still patrols outside!" she said, raising her voice.

Again, there was silence. Twilight stood, legs straight and tense, staring intently at one spot in the air where nothing seemed to be.

Twilight was scared from her "conversation," however, as the door to the kitchen creaked open and Spike peered in, yawning and rubbing an eye.

"Twilight? What are you doing? Who are you yelling at? And why is your cape on the floor?"

Twilight began to sweat.

"I...I must have had some sort of nightmare. I'm sorry to wake you, go back to bed," Twilight said, a bit quicker than intended.

Spike only yawned, nodded, and complied.

Twilight stood in the dark of the kitchen, her flank illuminated by Luna's moon for a moment before she sat down at the table, holding her head in her hooves, murmuring to herself again.

That was just too close...

...and it was all his fault.