Have you tasted my potatoes?

by CrimsonEquine

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Original Character, Scootaloo, Random, Gore
Length: 1421

Scootaloo is trying to appease a plate of Couse-Couse cheese.

Scootaloooooooo!

Scoooooootaloooooo!

Where is the savior of man? Couse-Couse cheese?

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Scootaloo hears a voice that calls her deep in The Everfree Forest. She follows the voice to meet an unexpected entity.

Published 2013-10-27 21:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-27 21:10:02 UTC

Scootz

Scootz

Scootaloo awoke to someone calling her deep inside her head. This calling wasn't something that was usually heard by a normal pony. In theory, it was something that entered her mind. She searched around her surroundings in her little hovel filled with nicknacks and her scooter inside the Everfree Forest, a place no pony would expect for her to live. The whisper that scratched her brain singed belching prophecies that would enlighten the common individual. Scootaloo had not a choice but, to follow where that sound originated. She remembered her obligation to her teacher Mrs. Cheerilee and her friends yet, could not ignore the call of the voice. Walking past green and animal galore, she found herself near a temple of some sort that was ancient to a tee. It had old carvings that Scootaloo didn't understand. She stepped atop the old steps until she finally got to the entrance.

She pushed the stone doors as hard as she could and they unexpectedly opened with ease. She entered through the dark entrance and saw a grand station with a huge block of cheese sitting on a silver platter. From out of nowhere, the voice returned to her.

"You have come chosen equine! You! The Prophesied Equine that would unite the multiverse and fuck lots of bitches"

She shook her head in confusion, "What are you talking about?" questioned da Scootaloo.

"come! COME! so I may speak sweet nothings to your tiny horse brain!"

"Hwat?"

"Just come here."

Scootaloo trotted through the dark until a sudden flash of fire exploded out of some tall lamps. Situated between the four lit lamps was the massive cheese illuminated better, showing its good side.

"Your... a block of cheese? Alright but, why did you call me for?"

"You are the amazing, chosen-one! You will illuminate all that is and will ever be."

"That doesn't explain anything, or why your a talking block of cheese..."

"Sigh... just sit still and I will enlighten you towards your destiny."

"What the hell are you talking about!? I demand some answers, and this better give me my cutie mark."

The Magical Cheese groaned in annoyance and with a thought, made Scootaloo float in the air. Energy waves began to circulate around her lobe and then there was silence.

Scootaloo was meandering, feeling the ecstatic bananas penetrate her eyelids, oh, so slightly. She did not understand why the cheese commanded her such unwavering devotion, but, she would eat with the heavenly scoundrel with all her might. The Great Couse-Couse cheese lay on a silver platter, waiting to be touched and ripped apart for Scootaloo's consumption. The Cheese gave the blessings of hunger to it's disciple so it may eat upon the holy flesh of stinky cheese that smelled absolutely smelly. Scootaloo felt her stomach grumble and she penetrated deeper in to her eye sockets in hopes of appeasing the great cheese savior.

Scootaloo looked up in to the cheese with her eyes stuck with bananas, barely able to see the imminence in his cheesy glory.

"Great one, Please I have done what you have asked, can you please let me eat you?", Scootaloo shuddered as the pain went deep in to her eyes, but, she would undergo this holy crusade even if it means taking her own eyes as a sacrifice. Scootaloo begrudgingly pushed her eyes deep within her skull, it was incredibly painful to feel her eyes squish by the force of her bananas.

A holy voice that sounded akin to meat flapping together came all over Scootaloo's brain, the message was sticky and felt like that time when her father decided to have happy fun time in her ear and stuff fired in. Never-the-less, the message was clear and profound for Scootaloo to hear.

"What the fuck did you say to me nigga!? I am the top nigga in all of this bitch, ya hear me!? Now keep pushing those bananas or you ain't gonna get a bite outa me!", The Message resounded in Scootaloo's consciousness and it was made clear that she had to pierce her eyes completely.

With the will of the goddesses, she pushed with all her might and the bananas completely went through her eyes. Blood splashed so far that it hit all over The Great Cheese, smothering his decadent body. One could imagine The Great Cheese enjoying himself to some extent, but, that would be wrong because he is a block of cheese. The great cheese sighed a debauchery of sound that would normally make the mortal ponies eye's explode.

Scootaloo felt her stomach grumble even harder then ever before, she craved for food, and for nowhere else to eat, she did a double arial lariat and slammed her entire mouth in to the cheese's glorious base. The smell was horrific, the odor was the same as a dead body decaying in the ground, but, for Scootaloo, it was the most decadent stench her senses had ever been quenched. She ate the massive cheese as it screamed in horrific agony, Scootaloo was relentless with her bites, her endless hunger would not be quenched.

Then there was none to behold for the cheese savior had ascended in to Scootaloo's stomach, it's job done, The Cheese blessed Scootaloo with bewildering and wild, white streaked hair that twirled beautifully like a godly perm. Her very understanding of reality became Omniscient, yet, capable of staying humble mentally. With her newfound wisdom, Scootaloo opened her closed eyes to the air around her, it seemed that she could see the air, it had a color she had never seen before.

She smelled the aroma of eternity, it had a unique aroma that could only be understood as "infinity" and it entranced the god Scootaloo. She decided after careful examination of her newfound senses that there should be some place new to go instead of this dull, ancient kitchen. Scootaloo reached deep inside herself and found a new dimension that would be much more interesting then the shallow world and its universal laws. Using the power of godhood, she created a portal in front of where stood the ritualistic cheese holder. The Dimensional Rift was white and swirling in a counter-clockwise motion.

Scootaloo, trotting to the portal, resigned from entering almost immediately when the smell of something incredible came to her nostrils. She vanished in to thin air as a whispering wind, quietly resounded where the inner sanctums of The Kitchen Temple resided.

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The sounds of water bubbling and dinner forks tapping in to scratched plates as well as the pedestrian conversation of the diner gave Scootaloo a happy feeling when she entered through the glass door, it ringed to signal her arrival. She moved to a seat and stretched her legs from traveling so far, the diner had average furniture, plastic seats and wooden tables, with condiments on the side. A waiter came along and welcomed her to the diner, she was blue with a white mane and she had a heart on a silver platter as her cutie mark, she had two twirled ends protruding from her head with a swept back mane dangling to her chest.

Scootaloo looked up to the waiter after she sat through the menu,

"Excuse me, but, whats a Potato Slamwich?"

"It's a baked potato put in to a sandwich" replied The Waiter Pony.

"Wow, uh, that sounds pretty disgusting"

"They are very popular, you should order it"

"No..., I'm just going to go with the potato skins?"

"I'll put you down for a Potato Slamwich."

"Oh god, Please don't do that."

"But, they are very popular, you should try it!"

"Uh, no thanks, potato skins please,"

"But, they are VERY popular!"

"I don't care! If they are popular! Get me some Potato Skins!"

"Alright, fine, I will put you down for.... A Potato Slaaaaaaamwich"

Scootaloo's patience had run out, her godly powers resurged all around the diner, her wrath was spelled upon the ponies of this cursed establishment. The waiter began to emit boils from all over her body, frogs jumped out of the friers, smacking their froggy bodies all over their faces. The paint began to come off from the walls, and the food turned alive and attacked their consumers. Then a glorious white light emanated from the establishment and the theme from Jurassic Park began to play over the speakers. The diner shaked and the ponies screamed as Scootaloo flew in the air, and just like that, the diner disappeared out of existence.