The Cucco Revenge Squad

by RuBoo

Rating: everyone
Tags: Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Scootaloo
Length: 2463

Scootaloo discovers a new ability, and finds a new world of adventure.

After a botched attempt at flying, Scootaloo finds herself in the Everfree Forest. When she is saved by three unexpected heroes, her world is turned upside-down.

Published 2013-09-26 22:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-08 05:02:40 UTC

Talking Chickens?

"Ready, squirt?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"Ready, Rainbow Dash!" replied Scootaloo, sitting in the bucket of a large catapult.

"You're going to fly this time, kid. I just know it!" exclaimed the older mare. "Three, two, one..." The rainbow-maned mare released the mechanism, launching the orange filly into the air. The filly began flapping her wings in an attempt to fly. Unfortunately, the filly's frantic flapping did little more than increase the height and distance of her trajectory. Her new trajectory unfortunately landed her right in the Everfree Forest. "…Um…" Rainbow Dash stared for a moment before rushing after the filly.

The filly broke through several branches on her descent before landing on the ground with a hard thud. She was dizzy for a moment, but she cleared her head with a shake. Just in time to notice she was in the middle of a pack of timber wolves. Timber wolves which apparently didn't like their afternoon naps being interrupted. One by one they stirred, and began to circle the small filly. Panicking, the filly glanced around quickly before yelling out "Help!"

Suddenly, the timber wolves began falling apart. One by one they fell, until none were left standing. In the midst of the chaos stood… Three chickens? Three really odd-looking chickens. One of the three was holding a sword in its beak. Another had a bow and a quiver of arrows on its back. The third was wearing a strange, hemispherical mask with a small, stylized skull of unknown origin on it.

The wolves began to reform into a larger one. The masked chicken clutched one of the sticks as the wolves reformed, getting trapped in the large beast. The beast let out a loud roar before suddenly exploding, burning sticks flying everywhere. "Boom, boom!" the masked chicken cackled… Did that chicken just talk?!

The sword-wielding chicken sheathed the sword he was holding in his beak. "Calm yourself, Boomer." He looked around. "Why were we summoned here? I don't see any cuccos. Just a small pegasus filly."

"Maybe it was a false alarm?" said the bow-wielding chicken. "Though I've never heard of the Call being false…"

"Maybe she's the one who Called us!" the masked chicken said. "I've heard there are non-chickens with the Call!"

"Don't be ridiculous, Boomer!" the sword-user said. "There are cockatrices who have joined us, sure, but they're at least chicken-like."

"Could you three shut up?" requested the filly. "I have something I'd like to say." As the three chickens looked at her, she shouted, "Aaaah! Talking chickens!"

The nearby bushes rustled, drawing the attention of the filly and the chickens. The sword-wielder drew his sword, the bow-user nocked an arrow with his beak, and the masked chicken and Scootaloo just stared. When Rainbow Dash appeared from the bush, however, the filly looked relieved. "There you are, squirt!" she said. "What's this about a talking chicken?"

"Rainbow Dash!" the filly said, rushing over to her mentor and hugging her. "These three chickens, I heard them talk!"

"Aaaah! Talking chickens!" shrieked the masked chicken.

"…Oooookay." said Rainbow Dash. "I think you may have hit your head pretty hard on something. We should probably get you back home." The orange filly followed the blue pegasus back to Ponyville, saying that she really did hear the chickens talk.

History Lesson

Scootaloo groaned as Archie continued to try to teach her the most boring of things about his world. Learning about the many hostile creatures was fun, until it got repetitive, and the history of Hyrule was boring from the start. And after about a month of a sort of double life, she just wanted to get started with the adventure.

"Young chick," Archie asked, "are you listening to me?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." the pegasus filly answered. "Hero of Time, Blade of Evil's Bane, Prince of Darkness, holy Triforce, blah, blah, blah."

"Can you name the seven Sages of the era of the Hero of Time?" Archie asked.

Scootaloo thought for a moment. "Um… Zelda, Rauru, Impa, Ruto, Darunia, Saria, and Nabooru." she answered.

"And they are, respectively, the sages of…?"

"Er… Time… Light… Forest… Water… Fire… Spirit and Shadow." Scootaloo replied.

"Wrong." Archie said. "Zelda is the Sage of Time. Rauru is the Sage of Light. Impa is the Sage of Shadow. Ruto is the Sage of Water. Darunia is the Sage of Fire. Saria is the Sage of Forest. Nabooru is the Sage of Spirit. Who is Vaati?"

"Vaati is an evil wind mage who is sealed away by the Four Sword." Scootaloo answered.

"How is a Heart Container formed?"

"The slaying of a powerful monster causes its life force to turn into a Heart container. That, or four Pieces of Heart are assembled."

"And how are Pieces of Heart formed?"

"They are generally created after someone feels grateful to another."

"And how much life force condenses into a Piece of Heart?"

Scootaloo groaned. "A full unit of life force condenses into a single Piece of Heart, just as it takes the entire life force of a slain beast to form a single Heart Container. Sometimes slaying a normal monster will result in the formation of a heart from their life force, which can be absorbed to replenish one's own life force, but, if it is not condensed or contained, it will disappear."

Archie nodded. "Other ways to restore one's life force include…?"

"Consumption of a Poe's soul is a risky way to restore life force, as it may either restore or remove life force. Red and blue potions are guaranteed to replenish life energy, and fairy magic can also restore life energy. Due to the ancient fairies' pact, a bottled fairy must restore the life of the one who possesses the bottle in which she is contained should they fall, in battle or otherwise."

Archie nodded. "You have a firm grasp of the mechanics of life in Hyrule." he said. "History is not your strong suit, though. And Hyrule has a lot of history."

"Why is it so important to know history?" Scootaloo asked.

"The importance is twofold." came the answer. "History often repeats itself. Those who don't know history are destined to repeat it. Furthermore, the instability of the portal on the Hyrulean side means you may find yourself in history. And if you don't know enough about Hyrulean history, you may, yourself, become… History."

Scootaloo swallowed nervously. "Er… Who are the other ponies protected by the Cuccos, again?"

"Besides your friends, you mean?" Archie asked, and the filly nodded her head. "First of all is Fluttershy, she who speaks with chickens, and her closest friends. Then there are the mailmare, and her adopted daughter."

"What's the story behind the mailmare's daughter's adoption?" Scootaloo asked.

Archie sighed. "Poor Dinky Doo's mother was quite a ditz. Explaining the name Ditzy Doo. One time, Ditzy mistook her daughter for a turkey, and put her in the oven to bake for six hours at three-hundred twenty-five degrees. Fahrenheit."

"And little Dinky has been scared of chickens ever since!" Boomer interjected suddenly from behind the filly, startling her. "…No, wait, it was a turkey…"

"That's 'kitchens', bird brain." Lance said, walking up to the group after Boomer. "She's scared of kitchens. She ready yet, Archie?"

"She doesn't have much grasp on history," came the addressed's reply, "but, beyond that, she'd function fairly well."

"I get where she's coming from." Lance said. "One history's tough enough, pile on three more and it's too much. It's much easier to learn by experience, anyway."

Cuccos

Scootaloo woke up in the middle of the night to the sounds of talking. She could barely make out three small, white shapes. "Wh-Who's there?" she asked into the darkness.

"Great job, Boomer," whispered a voice, "you woke her up."

"I can't help it." came a second, louder voice. "Loud is my specialty."

"Shut up and let me do the talking, Boomer." whispered a third voice. He cleared his throat. "Good day to you, young filly. My name is Lance. My friends are Archie and Boomer. You met us earlier, remember?"

Scootaloo rubbed her eyes, adjusting to the darkness. She recognized the three chickens from earlier. "Oh. The talking chickens." she said.

"Aaaah! Talking chickens!" squawked Boomer, prompting Lance and Scootaloo to shut him up.

"Shush, shush, shush!" Scootaloo whispered. "What if somepony hears you?"

"They won't hear us." Lance said quietly. "We're chickens. Ponies can't talk to chickens."

"Most ponies, anyway." Archie added. "There are special cases."

"From what we've seen, they're mostly pegasi." Lance stated. "But that's beside the point. We are here to offer you something usually only offered to chickens."

"And cockatrices!" Boomer shouted, prompting Archie to shush him.

"Can't it wait 'til morning?" the pegasus filly asked.

"…Well, it could, but we think it would be odd to most ponies to see a filly talking to a chicken." said Lance.

"They might think you're crazy." said Boomer.

"We think this is better." Archie added.

Scootaloo thought for a moment. "Isn't there someplace we could talk in the morning where other ponies wouldn't notice?"

The three chickens looked at one another. They huddled up, whispering to one another. Apparently reaching a decision, they separated and turned to the filly. "Alright. There is such a place." Lance said. "You know Fluttershy, correct?"

The filly nodded her head. "Yeah. Why?"

"Her place. There's a chicken coop there. That's where we shall meet." Lance ushered the other two to the exit. "We shall be expecting you." he ended, before leaving, himself.

Scootaloo made her way to the prearranged meeting point. Why a chicken coop? Sure, it makes sense that chickens would want to meet at a chicken coop, but a pony? Surely they could have thought of a better place. She shook her head as she entered the coop.

"Ah, little filly." Lance said. "It is good to see you."

"…We never did get your name." Archie said.

"It's Scootaloo." the filly said. "Now, can we hurry this up? This place reeks."

"…Fair enough." Lance said. "We are the Cucco, a group dedicated to protecting the chickens of the world."

"Cucco?" Scootaloo asked. "Why Cucco?"

"Cucco means chicken in Hylian!" Boomer shouted, prompting all of the chickens present to shush him.

"Hylian?" Scootaloo asked, even more confused now.

"Now you've done it, Boomer." Lance said. "That was more information than was really necessary. " He turned to Scootaloo once more. "Forget about that for now. Normally, we only let chickens join us. And cockatrices." he added, before Boomer did it for him. "But there are special cases, as we mentioned before. We protect those who join us, and they protect us in turn, should we need it. We would like to make you this offer, Scootaloo; Will you join us?"

"…What do I get out of it?" The filly asked. "I mean, there's really nothing here in Ponyville that could hurt me."

"Remember yesterday?" Archie asked. "Those… Timber wolves, were they? Could they not have hurt you?"

"W-Well, I-"

"If it weren't for us, and for the Call, you would not be here today." Archie said. "That is why you need this."

"B-But…"

"Ooh, ooh, ooh! Boomer! Boomer!" Boomer shouted, raising a wing in the air.

"What is it, Boomer?" asked Lance.

"Adventure! " Boomer replied.

"Adventure?" Scootaloo inquired.

"Adventure!" Boomer repeated. "I promise!"

"Boomer, don't." Lance said. "You've said e-"

"I'll do it!" Scootaloo exclaimed.

"…You will?" Lance asked.

"Yeah!" Scootaloo said. "Life in Ponyville is so boring! I could use a bit of adventure!"

"…Alright." Lance said. "But, before you can begin this little… Adventure…" he glared at Boomer. "There is much you must learn. Archie?"

Archie pecked at the wall of the coop, and the floor suddenly began moving downward. "What you must learn…" Lance began. "Begins with this. There is a world known as Hyrule. The kingdom of Hyrule is ruled by people known as Hylians. Pointy-eared hu- er… Pointy-eared furless apes. The language used by these people… Is Hylian."

"…Um… How is this important?" Scootaloo asked.

"You wondered what Hylian is." Lance said. "That's what it is. A language used by the people of Hyrule."

"Yeah, but…" Scootaloo began. "How does this matter? I mean, why couldn't you tell me this before?"

"Because that is where your adventure will begin." Lance stated. "Hyrule."

Card Games

"I'm going to Hyrule?" Scootaloo asked as the floor stopped moving. She looked around and saw they were in a large room, bustling with chickens. There was a chicken statue on a pedestal nearby.

"You are." Lance replied. "However, you will not do so alone. The three of us will be with you."

"Before we leave, however, you must learn of the history of our world, and how to deal with the many dangers to be found there." Archie said. "I will be the one to teach you, young chick."

"Before your lessons can begin, however, there is one step more to become an official Cucco." Lance said, stepping off the wooden platform. He and his teammates stopped in front of the statue.

"…What's this statue?" Scootaloo asked.

"This statue is our former teammate." Lance replied, forlornly. "Joker."

"Quite a card, that one." Boomer said, in a relatively quiet voice.

"A wild card…" Archie said.

"His name was fitting." Lance said. "He loved jokes, of all sorts. Unfortunately, that led to his demise…"

"…What happened?" Scootaloo asked.

"He decided to play a practical joke on a cockatrice." the Cucco replied. "Cockatrices are… Not exactly known for having a good sense of humor."

"…I see…" Scootaloo said.

"…Well, let's go." said Lance, turning away. The group followed him, until they were stopped by a Cucco with a blue tail feather.

"Hey there, Lance!" he said.

"…Ace…" the annoyed Cucco responded.

"Who's the chick?" asked the blue-feathered chicken.

"Her name is Scootaloo." Lance replied. "And you, flying rooster, are in our way." He shoved the other chicken aside and started walking again.

"Flying rooster?" Scootaloo asked.

"He says he's a descendant of the legendary flying rooster of Koholint Island." Lance answered. "He says his discolored tail feather is proof of that. However, I have never heard of such an island, nor have I seen it on any maps. Everybody else seems to believe his story, though."

"Well, you've got to admit," Boomer said, "he does have the ability to fly."

"…He does, but his story… It doesn't make sense. There is no such place as Koholint Island, just as there is no such place as Termina."

"I've told you, it does exist!" Boomer shouted.

"Enough, Boomer." Archie said.

"We're here." Lance said, reaching a door with some strange symbols on it. He knocked on the door with his beak. "Boss? We've brought a new member."