Rarity and Twilight

by jl7895

First published

All it takes is one curious pony. All Rarity wanted to do is see the other world, just for a few seconds. Twilight was reluctant at first, but she caved. Their timing if off and they both get trapped in the other world. There are a few other problems, the first being the portal closes right after they go through it. They have 30 moons until the portal re-opens and they can return home.

If you guys could, please tell me everything wrong with the story and how I should fix it. I really appreciate criticism and it does help me become a better writer.

I could always us any number of proof-readers. They will probably have the greatest chance of changing how the story plays out.

This is not an Equestria Girls Fic. They have regular colored flesh and smaller hair styles.

Cover artists: MeekMiku & DrSpencerReidBietch