My alarm goes off at 5:57 am, right as Celestia raises the sun. Granny Pie always said, “Early to bed, early to rise makes a pony healthy, wealthy, and wise,” and there’s so much to do today! There’s a new pony in Ponyville, and as the official town party pony, it’s my job to make sure that he has the most perfect party ever. He’s an old unicorn stallion named Unity who just retired from Princess Celestia’s Ministry of Peace. He was our ambassador to the zebras before some unicorn mare named Velvet Remedy replaced him last week.
Oh! Right! Party! The party for Unity has to be PERFECT. I mean, he helped keep Equestria out of a nasty war with the zebras, so I guess it’s like a “Thank You for Keeping Equestria Out of a Huge War” party as much as a “Welcome to Ponyville” party. One party for two reasons? Everypony knows that means it has to be a HUGE party. If he spent a lot of time in Zebrica, though, then he’s probably used to zebra food. Hmm...what do zebras even eat? Who could I ask about zebra food?
Oh! Duh! It’s so obvious. Why didn’t I think of her right away?
I’ll go ask Twilight! She knows all kinds of stuff. Who better to ask about zebra food?
“Pinkie Pie, I’m flattered that you seem to assume that I know everything - really, I am - but why didn’t you go to Zecora first if you have a question about zebras?” Twilight’s so silly sometimes. Why would I go to Zecora? She’s not a super-brainy smarty-pants pony.
“Well, duh!” I say. “You’re the super-brainy smarty-pants pony! I mean, Zecora’s smart and all about potions and stuff, but you’re Twilight Sparkle! You’re smart about EVERYTHING!” For such a smart pony, Twilight can miss really obvious stuff sometimes.
“But Pinkie...” Twilight says, “she’s a zebra. She grew up in Zebrica. She knows more about zebras and what zebras like to eat than I do.”
What? WHAT?!? I gasp SUPER loud. “How can anypony - or zebra - know more than you, Twilight?”
She’s just staring at me with narrow eyes. Did I say something wrong?
“Pinkie. She’s - ugh, forget it. Go ask Zecora. Just trust me; she can help you more than I can.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” If Twilight says Zecora knows more than she does, then that’s good enough for me; after all, Twilight’s a super-brainy smarty-pants pony.
“Why do you need to know about zebra food? You don’t even eat pony food unless it’s at least 75% sugar,” Twilight asks me.
“It’s not for me, silly filly! It’s for Unity’s “Welcome to Ponyville and Thank You for Keeping Equestria Out of a Huge War” party tonight!”
Twilight’s eye’s twitching. Maybe her brain broke like when she tried to study my Pinkie Sense.
“Unity? Like, Ambassador Unity? As in, the pony who kept out out of war with Zebrica for the past fifteen years?”
“Yep!”
“He’s moving to Ponyville?”
“Yep yep!”
“I have to clean the library! I have to get a proper reception ready! Oh my gosh, who’s his favorite author? Do I have any of his or her books in the library? SPIKE!!” Twilight’s such a silly pony sometimes.
Oh, look at the time. I’ve already spent too much time at the library. Time to get going. I prefer to hop everywhere - it’s just so much more fun - but, for the sake of saving time, I gallop all the way to Zecora’s hut. It’s amazing how much less scary the Everfree Forest is when there’s a not-so-evil enchantress living there. I guess she keeps the big, scary monsters away with her trances and not-so-evil dances.
Finally, I see her hut up ahead. I gallop right up to the door and bang on it with both forehooves. “ZECORA! ZECORA, I NEED YOUR HELP!!”
Zecora opens her door and looks around me. I think she was reading a scary book or something because she looks like she was expecting to see a monster. “Whatever is the matter, Pinkie Pie? You sounded like you were about to die.”
Huh? I did? All I did was run up to her hut at full speed and bang on her door with both forehooves while screaming.
....
Oh. I guess I did sound like something was chasing me, huh?
“Hehehe,” I chuckle awkwardly. “Sorry, Zecora. But I really need your help!”
Zecora sighs. “Come inside, you silly mare, and whatever ails you, you may share.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” I hop through the door to Zecora’s hut and take a deep breath. “There’s a unicorn named Unity who’s moving to Ponyville, but he’s been living with Zebras for like ever, so I need to know what zebras like to eat since that’s he’s used to, but I don’t know what zebras eat, but you’re a zebra, so you probably know what zebras eat, so I need you to tell me what zebras eat so I can cook whatever zebras eat so he can feel at home in his new home by eating what zebras eat.”
Zecora seems to recognize Unity’s name. “Ah yes, the pony diplomat. He’s willing to compromise, and zebras respect that.”
“So will you teach me how to cook whatever zebras eat?”
Zecora chuckles. “Zebras mostly eat the same things that ponies do, but you can add a certain flavorful root to the brew. To find this root, it can be a hassle. Start your search near the Royal Sisters’ castle.”
Success! I give Zecora a huge grin and grab her in a super-duper PFF hug. Would it be Pony Friends Forever? Or Zebra Friends Forever? Interspecies Friends Forever? I think I’m getting a headache...
“Please let go of me, Pinkie Pie,” Zecora gasps. “Anymore of this hug, and I’ll surely die.”
Hehe. Oops. I’m an enthusiastic hugger...
After another wave to Zecora, I start hopping off to the abandoned Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters. Zecora said the root I need to find is called Yoroota and that it’s green and glowy. It’s supposed to make everything really spicy and yummy. Ooo, I’m so nervoucited! I wonder what a cupcake would taste like with Yoroota in it?
It takes me about ten minutes to get to the castle, but I don’t mind the walk. I just sing to myself as I hop through the forest. “Ooo, pretty!” I see the most AMAZING green flower. It’s glowing, so I’m pretty sure that it’s a Yoroota plant, but I’m not sure. Maybe I should sniff it? Zecora said that it was really spicy.
I lean in to sniff it. My eyes immediately start to water, and my nose starts to burn. Yup, I think this is it! When I lean in to pick the flower, I feel something hit my side really hard. Ouch, that hurt. I mean, that REALLY hurt. It feels like I’ve got a thorn stuck in the pad of my hoof, except it feels like a really, really big thorn, and instead of my hoof, it feels like it’s in my side.
Huh? What’s that flash of light?
“PINKIE PIE!!”
Oh, look. It’s Twilight. Hi, Twilight! Huh, that’s weird. There’s a funny metaly taste in my mouth. I try to get up to see what hit me and ask why Twilight’s here. I get up enough to see Twilight with a really scared look on her face. Her horn is all glowy, and she’s sweating a lot. My side is hurting really bad again. I look down at my side and - oh Celestia, what happened?
It’s...everywhere. My blood. My blood’s everywhere. I lift my hoof to my muzzle, and it comes back red. This metaly taste in my mouth isn’t so funny anymore. Twilight gallops over to me.
“Oh buck, Pinkie Pie...”
“What happened, Twi?” I don’t even know why I’m bleeding so much.
“A...a timberwolf. It pounced on you when you were picking roots. I went to Zecora’s hut to see what kind of cooking you were doing. When she said you were looking near the old castle, I figured I’d come find you to see if I could help you find the root. I got here right as it was pouncing.” Twilight looks down at my side and starts crying again. “Pinkie, I...I can fix this. I can fix this!”
Uh-oh. Twilight’s getting that crazy look again. Her horn starts glowing, and my side starts to feel warm. I can’t feel if her magic is healing my side. I can’t really feel anything, but since a timberwolf just took a big bite out of me, I think that’s probably a good thing.
Wow, I need to go to bed earlier. I feel really...sleepy. Twilight’s magic is so warm. Huh? I think she’s trying to say something. Twi, you’ve got speak up, silly filly. I can’t hear you when you whisper.
“....Pie....awake.....Don’t let...asleep....”
I think she’s trying to tell me to stay awake. Now that I think about it, I think I remember Fluttershy telling me once that when an animal gets really hurt, they fall asleep when they start to die. My eye lids feel so heavy. Is that what’s happening to me? Is this what it’s like to die? It’s so...calm. Twilight’s magic is so warm, and I’m so sleepy. I think I’ll just...take a quick nap. Just a little sleep, that’s all.
Mmm....Night, Twilight....
Author's Note
There's a little bit of a story for this story's inspiration. A little less than a year ago, I was at my mom's house for summer break after my junior year of college. I woke up one morning to the sounds to shouting coming from outside. I, more irritated at being awoken than worried that something might be amiss, went outside to see what the hell was going on. What I saw was my neighbor's pit bull, its muzzle covered in blood and its teeth sunk deep into my cat's abdomen, surrounded by my mom, my aunt, and the dog's owner. I could see Isis's entrails poking out from the gaping hole in her abdomen. It was just so...violent. What struck me, however, was the randomness of the attack. Isis had always been an outside cat, and those neighbors had lived next door with that dog for a year or so, and she had never been anything but sweet. Isis hadn't provoked the dog at all. She'd been asleep on the porch; it was the teeth piercing her flesh and the jaws crushing her organs that awoke her.
That's kind of the theme I was trying to establish here - the randomness of violence in nature. I know it's typically seen as bad form for an author to come out and say "This is what I was trying to say. Here's what the theme is supposed to be," but this story is as much a tribute to my late cat as it is the backstory of why Pinkie Pie is dead from the get-go in my first fanfic. Those who know me know that I detested Isis, but the brutality of the dog's attack and the horror of her death...I wouldn't wish that on anyone or anything. It's a deeply unsettling thing to see, in real time, your pet's eyes fade from pure terror - and trust me, after seeing her eyes, I am more than convinced that animals are capable of feeling the emotion of terror every bit as vividly as humans - to just...nothing. To see, almost literally, the light fade from her eyes. I did not like that cat, but I will never forget her eyes the moment she died, scared and eviscerated.
Rest in peace, Isis. You were the bitchiest, most hateful cat I've ever met, but you never should have gone that way.
Author's Note
Ten bits to anypony who can tell me what the chapter title is referencing.
When Six Becomes Five
TWILIGHT SPARKLE
I look out nervously at the crowd. I've never been much for speaking to large groups of ponies, but I need to do this. "Hello, everypony. My name is Twilight Sparkle. Thank you all for coming out. I only wish it were under better circumstances." I take a deep breath. Celestia, this is harder than I expected....
"Pinkie Pie was, without a doubt, the most cheerful, happy-go-lucky pony that I ever had the honor to know. I don't think I would be too presumptuous to say that she was also the most cheerful, happy-go-lucky pony that any of you ever had the honor to know. I won't bore you with a plethora of anecdotes about my experiences with Pinkie Pie - knowing Pinkie Pie, just one pony's stories about her could take the whole day - but I do want to say a few things about her as a pony and how she enriched my life.
"More than any other pony in Equestrian history, Pinkie Pie deserved to bear the Element of Laughter. Her ability to laugh in the face of danger, including the return of both Nightmare Moon and Discord, bordered on - and even leapt past - the line between optimism and absurdity, but it was often exactly what was needed. She kept us going when the task at hoof was too terrifying to face, and she kept us grounded when despair threatened to cripple us emotionally. The truly remarkable thing about Pinkie Pie, though, was that her optimism wasn't limited to when it was strictly needed; every day, Pinkie Pie made it her job, her quest, to make as many ponies smile as possible.
"Everypony says that they want to die doing what they love. I think there's a lot of truth in that, so that's how I choose to remember Pinkie Pie's death - not how she died but rather what she was doing when she died. Pinkie Pie's last moments were getting supplies for a party." I stop to chuckle, thinking that there were probably more moments when Pinkie Pie wasn't preparing for one party or another than moments when she was. "Then again, when wasn't that pony preparing for some kind of a party? In typical Pinkie Pie fashion, she wanted to make this party special for the pony it was honoring, so she was in the Everfree Forest looking for a very specific root to flavor the party food. Don't get me wrong - I'd give my horn to have kept Pinkie Pie out of the forest that day and not lose her, but if a pony has to die, the only better way I can think of for Pinkie Pie is to go with the tail in her mouth playing Pin the Tail on the Pony.
"I won't take up anymore of everypony's time because I'm not the only one who wants to say something in Pinkie's memory." I step down from the podium. I think I've done a decent enough job honoring Pinkie Pie. She would certainly agree that there were few more perfect ways for her to go. I'll miss you, Pinkie Pie. We all will. We love you so much. Rest in peace, Pinkie.
RAINBOW DASH
Be awesome. Be awesome. Gotta be awesome. For Pinkie Pie, you've got to be awesome, and crying is not awesome. Man, why is it so hard not to cry? Crying is so lame. "Like Twilight said, Pinkie Pie was almost always smiling and laughing, and that's what made her so awesome. Whenever somepony was sad, she'd always be there to cheer them up, you know? Oh, and she was the BEST pranking buddy. She was the only one who could match me for pranking awesomeness, but she made sure I didn't go too far or anything. She was...."
Oh Celestia, not now. I am NOT going to cry while I'm trying to talk. Deep breaths, Dash. I only barely manage to keep myself from crying. Stupid tears. "She was the best friend a mare could ask for. It's...gonna be quiet without Pinkie Pie. So...So everypony better get ready, cause I'm gonna have to prank you guys TWICE as hard for Pinkie!" I can't do this anymore. I'm about to lose it. I have to get away from this stupid stand before anypony sees how close I am to crying.
FLUTTERSHY
Phew, phew, phew. I need to calm down. Breathe, Fluttershy. No need to be nervous. Everypony is here to remember and honor Pinkie Pie, just like me. All I need to do is trot up there, say a few words about Pinkie and what she meant to me and to Ponyville, and then let somepony else speak. I can handle this.
I reach the podium. I want to look out at the crowd as I address it, but I...I just can't. It's hard enough not to cry without seeing how sad everypony else is. I take a deep breath and look down at the podium. "Um, hello, everypony. I know everypony is very sad about what happened to Pinkie Pie, and I am, too, but she...she wouldn't want us to be sad. I know Pinkie Pie would want us to smile and remember her life and who she was instead of just thinking about what happened to her and who we lost.
"For a pony as shy and timid as I am, Pinkie Pie's constant happiness and encouragement to laugh away my fears had a big impact on me. I'm still shy, but Pinkie Pie did a lot to help me laugh instead of being scared of everything....although there are still a lot of really scary things...." I make the mistake of looking up at the ponies attending the funeral. Oh dear...that's a lot of ponies.
"So, um...I guess my point is that Pinkie Pie helped a lot of ponies in her life, so we should be celebrating her accomplishments here, not just focusing on her passing. Thank you."
APPLEJACK
Ah look out at all the ponies here to remember Pinkie Pie and can't help but think "Ah sure hope I've done enough good to deserve this many ponies comin' out to remember me." Ah know it's probably a selfish thing to think when we're all here to remember Pinkie, but death gets ya to thinkin', ya know? Life's fragile. Any minute, some horrible accident could cart us away from this life. Who'd have thought Pinkie'd be the one who got me thinkin' too much to sleep?
"Yall, Ah don't think Ah have to tell ya that Pinkie was one heck of a mare. Ya might not have thought it with all the partyin' she did, but that pink filly was the hardest workin' little mare Ah think Ah ever did meet. The thing 'bout Pinkie's work is that everything she did was for one goal - make ponies smile. That girl worked herself to the bone on every single party she threw just to make sure her friends were smilin'. If that ain't being a true friend, then Ah don't know what is."
Keep it together, AJ. Gotta stay strong. There's a time and a place for cryin', but this is ain't it; this is for rememberin' and honorin' Pinkie. "Ya know, Ah think Twilight was right; if Pinkie had to go, Ah think she'd be pretty content with the way it happened. Fixin' to throw a party? Ain't nothing more 'Pinkie Pie' than that. Now Ah ain't the best pony for public speakin', so Ah'll get on off of here and let Rarity say her bit, but y'all keep in mind, Pinkie wouldn't wanting us goin' and moping around during her funeral. For Pete's sake, she was the Element of Laughter. Ain't no better way to honor her than finding a way to laugh."
RARITY
I look out at the throng of ponies assembled before me. "Good morning, everypony, though it would be better were we gathered under happier circumstances. There are reasons to smile, however, are there not? As I look at all of you, I can't help but think that it's truly wonderful that Pinkie Pie had so many ponies who care about her enough to postpone their busy schedules and close down their shops for the day to honor her memory and celebrate her life. She truly did touch so many lives through her unwaveringly cheerful demeanor - many more than she even realized, I'd wager. Everypony says that we Elements of Harmony are remarkable ponies, but Pinkie Pie was different. Pinkie was...."
I hesitate. How to word this? "In many ways, Pinkie Pie was the best of us. Everypony has her faults, and Pinkie Pie was no exception, but she was probably the best pony I ever had the honor to know. Although laughter was definitely her element, she was a marvelous reflection of all of the Elements of Harmony. Her dedication to making every party her best party yet just to see her friends and loved ones smile showed her great generosity. Her almost terrifying insistence that a Pinkie Promise never be broken for any reason showed her zealous adherence to honesty. Her refusal to give up on befriending Gilda because she knew that she was important to Rainbow Dash showed unwaivering loyalty. Her adamant desire to see the best in Cranky Doodle Donkey, even when he was at his grumpiest demonstrated a rare caliber of kindness. As I am confident that everypony in Ponyville can attest, her ability to inspire an entire town of ponies to burst out into a song that she made up on the spot at a moment's notice was certainly nothing short of magic.
"My point with all of this is that Pinkie Pie was - and I doubt anypony would offer disagreement with this - an undeniably unique pony, unlike anypony else I've met. Pinkie alone had the ability to turn nearly any situation, no matter how dire, into a reason to laugh. It is for that trait that she will be forever remembered, and it is for that reason that it would be an affront to her memory to allow this funeral to be a morose affair. We are all saddened by the loss of Pinkie Pie, but she would be the first pony to point out that you cannot spell 'funeral' without 'fun.' Pinkie Pie was our town's party pony; her funeral should reflect that, being nothing less than a boisterous celebration of her life and all of the joy she was able to bring to others."
I look out at the crowd. To suggest that a funeral should be a happy occasion is, to put it lightly, an unorthodox proposal, especially when the pony for whom the funeral service is being held was so near and dear to everypony's heart. To my extreme relief, however, I see smiles beginning to appear where moments ago were frowns, weak at first, but quickly strengthening to all-out grins as the ponies in the congregation being to see the truth in my statement and remember the joy that Pinkie Pie had brought them.
Maybe, just maybe, Ponyville will be able to hold onto the happy memories and cope with this loss. Maybe, just maybe, we'll be okay.
