Murphy's Law

by Kadziet

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Crossover
Length: 1189

Karrin Murphy is a pony. She is not amused.

Karrin Murphy is a pony.

Karrin Murphy is a pony?

This cannot end well for one friendly neighborhood wizard.

Note - Ending has been slightly expanded upon.

[Cover Image]

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-19 13:40:02 UTC

The Law of Murphy

Karrin Murphy was once the head of Chicago PD's Special Investigations department and would occasionally call upon the city's only wizard-for-hire when her work involved something strange, unnatural, or even both. It was her department's job to deal with the cases that no-one else had wanted to take, due to the obscene nature of said cases.

It was because of these cases that Murphy had come to know Harry Dresden as a close friend. Together, they had faced many evils and come out on top. She had stared down monsters and demons without so much as flinching.

Karrin Murphy was a woman of many talents, but none of them could have prepared her for this.

Today, Murphy flinched.

"It's a good look on you, Murph."

Murphy glared at the grinning Harry Dresden, who was now a unicorn. "If I had fingers, I would shoot you," she threatened. "Fingers or no fingers, I'd find a way, Dresden."

The wizard let out a soft chuckle. "Come on, Murphy!" he said, barely suppressing laughter. "I was only horsing around."

If looks could kill. Since they didn't, Murphy had to settle with a glare and various threats of Harry Dresden's demise.

"What I would like to know is, why I'm still shorter than everyone else!" Murphy yelled, clearly insecure about her own height. She has issues.

Instead of explaining, Dresden decided to correct Murphy on her misuse of wording. "It's everypony, Murphy. Not everyone."

Before the little pony could fulfill her previous promise of shooting the wizard, she was interrupted by a noticeable 'POMF' sound originating from behind her.

Harry could take no more as he burst into laughter at the sight of Karrin Murphy, slayer of plant monsters and demons, with a wing-boner. "Wing-boner!" he cried out in between fits of laughter. "Wing-boner!"

Confused, Murphy—against her better judgement—asked, "What?"

Dresden attempted to stifle his laughter once more, but upon seeing his friend's appendages stiff as a rock and pointing skyward, he fell and continued laughing at his friend's misfortune and oblivious expression.

The pegasus let out an annoyed sigh. "This is going to be a long day."

Both Harry Dresden and his new pega-pal arrived at the Ponyville library in time for a surprise welcome party, which nearly ended early due to Murphy almost taking down Pinkie Pie when she ran at her with a knife so she could cut the cake. Needless to say, Pinkie was unfazed and Murphy had a look in her eyes that could melt steel... or cut cake. Take your pick.

The party was... well... a party. There was music, dancing, food and ponies. Nothing out of the ordinary, save for the fact that Murphy still had no control over her new appendages and was attracting the gazes of quite a few stallions. To these, she returned the amused glances with eye daggers that must've hit them right in the soul.

Dresden noticed this, and after forcefully prying her forehooves from around the neck of an unlucky stallion, began introducing her to his Ponyville friends.

"Twilight Sparkle—Karrin Murphy. Karrin Murphy—Twilight Sparkle."

Murphy nodded a greeting and smiled. "It's good to know that Dresden still knows how to make friends, what with him being cooped up all alone in a lab all day."

Twilight looked to Dresden and couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "Yeah, he isn't the greatest at first impressions, but he does grow on you."

"Like a bad fungus," Murphy added with a grin of her own.

Next up was the honest and hardworking Applejack.

"Applejack, this is my good friend, Karrin Murphy."

The earth pony quickly took a hold of Murphy's foreleg and shook. Rapidly. "Any friend o' Harry's is a friend o' mine," the farm pony said with a bright smile. Karrin tried desperately to ignore the feeling that Applejack was trying to rip off her foreleg and crush it in the process.

"N-nice to meet you, Applejack," the pegasus said, nodded painfully while casting a pleading look to Dresden. She was met only with a grin that said 'I'm enjoying this too much.'. Her soul-crushing return glare clearly told him 'you're a dead man.'

The next pony Harry introduced Karrin to was a unicorn, featuring an alabaster coat and what Murphy could easily tell were fake eyelashes. Her name was Rarity.

"Hi" Murphy said, only to be met with silence. She looked to Dresden who only shrugged before turning her gaze back to the quiet mare.

A few moments of awkward silence passed before Rarity spoke up... loudly. "I've got it!" The unexpected shout nearly activated Murphy's fight-or-flight instincts, with fight screaming for the top position.

"Your size is a bit small, but I think I could work something out for you, darling. Perhaps find a way to take away from the fact that you're so small," Rarity said. She circled the pegasus like an eagle would circle their prey, with a hungry look in her eyes. Of course, she failed to notice the rising anger apparent on the face of her unsuspecting prey-err-next customer.

"Perhaps something slightly larger than filly-sized would suit you rather nicely," Rarity assessed as she turned to write down possible designs on a small notepad; not noticing the hooves that were slowly making their way to her neck.

A life was saved that day as Dresden quickly dragged the murderous cop away to meet with another friend.

"Fluttershy, this is Karrin Murphy. She's a friend of mine from my world."

Murphy held out a hoof, only to have Fluttershy back away slightly. "It's nice to meet you, Fluttershy. Dresden tells me you're kind of shy."

Fluttershy only nodded as she hid her face behind her pink mane.

"So," Murphy began. "Nice weather, huh?"

Silence.

Karrin leaned over to Dresden's ear and whispered, "Is she usually like this?"

Dresden replied with a nod and decided to move on to the last friend that he wanted to introduce Murphy to.

Rainbow Dash.

"Rainbow Dash, I'd like you to mee—"

"Why's she so short?"

Time seemed to stop. Dresden knew Rainbow Dash would bring it up, but he didn't realize how blunt she would be.

Karrin's eye twitched as her soul screamed for justice.

The brash pegasus never saw it coming.

Murphy opened her eyes to find that she was still in her office at the Special Investigations department. She let out a yawn as she peeled her face off the various reports on her desk—now covered in drool—and rubbed her eyes.

"What the hell was that all about?" she asked herself.

As her mind rebooted, Murphy was spontaneously filled with a rage that no other had seen before. Dresden. That name hung in her head for a few moments as she envisioned ending the offending wizard in a myriad of ways for getting the lieutenant into a show called 'My Little Pony'.

Miles away...

Harry Dresden couldn't help but suddenly feel unsafe. This was actually quite normal for him, but he had the feeling that all the magic in the world could not stop what was coming to him.