Many years ago, there lived a stallion named Strawberry. Strawberry was a well-known and well-respected strawberry critic. From just a single nibble, he could easily determine what part of Equestria the berry was from, how well it had been watered, and even how rich the soil it had grown in was. He actually had a keen taste for many different fruits, but strawberries had always been his specialty. That’s why his cutie mark was a strawberry.
He met Kiwi at a kiwi-judging competition in the rural town of Ponyville. He hadn’t entered the competition himself because he found just as much joy in watching others eat fruit as he did eating it himself. While he was standing in the VIP spectator’s section, he saw a beautiful mare with a Kiwi cutie mark standing amongst the crowd. He was, of course, curious about why a pony whose special talent clearly had something to do with kiwis wasn’t participating in the competition.
He sought her out after the final round of judging was complete and ponies began wandering off to return to their daily routines. He discovered that she had stayed behind, collecting some of the kiwis that had not been sampled by the judges. She had collected quite a few, and was having a hard time fitting all of them into her saddlebag. So Strawberry, always the gentleman, offered to help carry some of them for her. As soon as Kiwi saw him, she gasped, recognizing him just like any fruit enthusiast would. And, of course, a fruit enthusiast such as herself would never turn down an offer from the Strawberry! So they ended up walking together, bags full of kiwis, back to her house near the town square.
All the while, they talked, getting to know each other.
“I couldn’t help but notice,” Strawberry said after a short period of comfortable silence along their walk, “that your cutie mark is a kiwi, your name is Kiwi, we’re carrying several pounds of kiwis as we speak, and we met at a kiwi-judging competition. Tell me, what is it, exactly, that makes kiwis so special to you.”
“Oh, well…” Kiwi looked at the ground, blushing shyly. That wasn’t a big change, because she hadn’t stopped blushing since Strawberry had first introduced himself. “I guess I just really like how they taste. But, I mean, it’s more than that. When I eat them, it’s like every single drop of juice has a story to tell, and the flavor can say more than any conversation or any book I’ve ever read. I feel like, when I’m eating kiwis, almost as if I’m in love. They just bring me so much joy, and… and pleasure. It’s just so…”
“Intimate?” Strawberry finished her thought for her.
He had stopped in his tracks, staring directly at her with a surprised, hopeful gaze. She turned and looked back at him, noticing his change in expression. “Um… yeah,” she replied, also surprised and hopeful, and a little curious as to why he was looking at her that way. “Do you, um, know the feeling?”
“I do! I just…” he paused, unable to think of what to say. This didn’t usually happen to him. He was always so cool and smooth. “I just never thought I’d meet somepony else who felt so passionate about fruit! All my life I’ve felt like nopony would ever understand how I truly feel about strawberries, but the way you just described kiwis, it was… it was perfect!”
Kiwi giggled, glad that she shared such a connection with the stallion she had always secretly admired. “I felt the same way too,” she explained lightheartedly, walking back to him to close the distance between them. “But I guess there’s two of us.”
And so they spent the rest of their walk joyously recounting their favorite memories and sharing stories about all the magnificent fruits they had tasted throughout their lives.
By the time they reached Kiwi’s house, it was obvious that the two ponies were not yet ready to part ways.
“Why don’t you come inside and help me put all these kiwis away? I always have a hard time reaching the higher shelves,” suggested Kiwi. Strawberry was more than happy for any excuse to spend time with this wonderful mare, so he agreed wholeheartedly.
As they began the work of unbagging all the kiwis, a notion struck Strawberry. Watching her handle the kiwis with such love and care gave him the idea that he should very much like to watch her eat one. “Um…” he began, realizing that he was embarrassed and humbled by her in a way that nopony else had ever done to him. “Kiwi?” She looked up expectantly with loving, innocent eyes. “I was wondering, if it’s not too much trouble, if you’d mind letting me watch you eat one of these fruits.”
Kiwi’s face lit up with laughter. “Of course you can, silly!” ‘Silly’ was not something that Strawberry was used to being called. It was usually something more along the lines of ‘sir’ or ‘Mr. Strawberry’.
He didn’t mind one bit. He just smiled, watched, and waited.
“Just for you!” Kiwi winked, plucking a ripe kiwi from her bag. She held it up to her face, slowly turning it as if she were a kiwi-doctor checking her patient for injuries. Apparently, the kiwi passed her inspection, because she opened her mouth and took a long, slow, luxurious bite. Her face was an image of absolute bliss as Strawberry imagined the sweet juice running down her throat, trickling over her tastebuds with its tantalizing tangy tartness. He could practically taste it himself, and he too felt the utter joy that Kiwi had described earlier, something he had never been able to do with any fruit besides a strawberry. He closed his eyes and let the pleasure flow throughout his body. The more he imagined the delectable fruit, the deeper he wandered into paradise.
He found himself in a land of fruit trees, with rows and rows of trees as far as the eye could see. On every tree, strawberries and kiwis grew together. The pink and green sky was dotted with clouds shaped to look like the fruit that grew in the trees. The ground was covered not with grass, but with a blanket of strawberries and kiwis, so fragrant he could barely resist rolling around in it like a young filly. Ponies made out of fruit trotted past, merrily exclaiming, “Strawberries! Strawberries! Strawberries! Kiwis! Strawberries! Kiwis! Kiwis!” He had found what was, unmistakably, heaven on earth.
He was roused from his daydream when he heard Kiwi emit a small groan of pleasure. He cracked open his eyelids to see her lips slide together as she fit the last piece of the kiwi into her mouth. She looked at him and smiled a smile so genuine and full of understanding that his heart melted. He fell in love on the spot.
He felt for her what he thought he would only ever feel for strawberries. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, and he wanted to care for her when she was healthy and when she was sick. He wanted to be there for her when she was lonely, and he wanted to share all of his happy moments with her for the rest of time.
Luckily for Strawberry, Kiwi felt the same way. Within a month, they ended up getting married. It was a beautiful ceremony decorated with all fruits imaginable, but with a strong emphasis on kiwis and strawberries. Kiwi’s dress even had little pieces of fruit sewn into it!
Soon afterwards, they took a trip to Canterlot for their honeymoon. And do you know what they did to celebrate their marriage?
They fucked.
And, because they were married, they didn’t bother using protection. So Kiwi ended up getting pregnant. Neither one of them was really prepared for a baby, but they felt like it was their responsibility to raise their child. They even picked out the cutest name they could think of for their child: Strawberry Kiwi.
Unfortunately, Kiwi ended up giving birth to twins. That was way more than the young couple was prepared to handle. They ended up getting a divorce because, let’s face it, their marriage was far too hasty in the first place. Strawberry refused to take either child because he longed to return to the days when he could just be alone and enjoy his strawberries in peace. Kiwi, unable to take care of two children while she herself had no fixed income, gave Strawberry Kiwi up for adoption. She couldn’t bear to keep the child anyway because her name reminded her too much of her failed relationship and the stallion who had ruined her life. Instead, she kept Strawberry Kiwi’s twin sister, Tuti Fruti.
Strawberry Kiwi’s life ended up sucking pretty badly. I mean, when two ponies that obsessed with fruit produce offspring, you know it’s not going to end well.
In fact, it ended with Strawberry Kiwi dying from blood loss after an Onyx burst out of her vagina. But that’s a whole ‘nother story.
This story has ended, but it is really just the beginning.
Oh, and if you’re wondering why Kiwi wasn’t participating in the kiwi-judging competition, it’s because she was banned from participating after the year she orgasmed in front of the entire crowd as soon as she took her first bite. From then on she just went to get all the leftover kiwis.
