Red Sky: The True Story of Equestria's Finest Mercenaries

I woke to the sound of hoofsteps and casual chatter. Light streamed in through a window to my right, silky sheets blowing softly in a gentle breeze. Wherever I was, at least it was comfortable.

I don't like comfortable. Comfortable means I'm somewhere I'd prefer not to be. In this case, I was in some sort of hospital room. A pony in a nurse's cap walked by the bed, busily studying something on a levitating clipboard. I tried to call out to her, but my mouth felt like it had just gone ten rounds with a wad of cotton wrapped in sandpaper. What I meant to say was "Hey, nurse," but what actually came out was "cough cough hack wheeze". Far less intelligent. At least it seemed to grab her attention.

"Oh, you're awake!" she said cheerfully. "How are you feeling, Miss Glendra? Are you alright?"

"I feel like I spent a week in a concrete mixer," I grumbled, "but I'm not in any real pain, if that's what you mean."

"Well at least you're feeling talkative. And we have on quite a potent painkiller, so that should help a bit."

"Can I get out of here yet? I can deal with aches and pains, you know."

She hesitated. "Ah...I don't believe that would be wise, Miss Glendra."

"Why the hell not?"

"I'm not sure you're aware of the extent of your injuries..."

"How bad could it be?" Hell, I felt fine. Mostly. Sort of.

"I...I think the doctor would be better to advise you of the situa--"

"Just tell me, alright?"

She sighed. "Miss Glendra, when you were brought in you were in serious condition. Had it not been for Miss...Scarlet Melody, is it?" I nodded. "Yes, had it not been for her, you would have likely died before you could be treated by proper medical staff. She wanted me to let you know that your ship's sick bay was sufficient to sustain you for some time, but it was only a stopgap."

So, Scarlet really did save my ass. Honestly, I was a little amazed she'd managed to pull it off; Scarlet is only a medic when we need her to be. The nurse took a deep breath before continuing.

"You were suffering from...let's see here...three broken ribs on your left side, a partially deflated lung, multiple gunshot wounds to the left arm and left side of your torso, including the leading edge of your left wing, severe blood loss, and a moderate concussion due to blunt-force trauma. Honestly, you're lucky to be alive. We've been able to heal your wounds and mend your bones to the best our ability, but you're not fully healed just yet."

Damn. That's a pretty big laundry list of injuries. Either the pony doctors had healed me better than I'd ever seen, or I was on one hell of a painkiller.  Maybe both. I attempted to spread out my wings, but found them bandaged and taped to my side.

"Well shit, that's not so bad!" I said cheerfully. "I should really start collecting the bullets they pull outta me. I could make a killing reselling the lead."

"Well, that's, uh, very optimistic of you!"

"I try. So, can I go now?"

She pursed her lips for a moment. I'd seen that look countless times -- bad news was on the way. Great.

"Miss Glendra, I'm actually quite surprised you haven't noticed yet. One of your injuries was...severe. Very severe. We had to take action to save your life..."

Severe injury? Well, my wing felt okay, all things considered, and my side felt like someone was attempting to crush it with an anvil, which just left...

"Huh?" I looked over to my right, wondering what had become of the shattered arm I'd somehow completely forgotten about. Or at least, I looked over to where my shattered arm should have been.

It was gone. Everything below the elbow, just...gone. I gasped in horror, my mind reeling as I tried to will the missing limb back into place.

"My...they took my..." I wiggled my upper arm, feeling like it wasn't real. My arm couldn't be gone! The realization hit me like a sack of bricks. I started hyperventilating, my vision tunneling. "No no no no no!" I began thrashing around on the bed, overcome with shock and grief for my missing limb. "Fuuuuuck!" I shouted at the poor nurse, as if she could do anything. "You fix this! You fix this right now!"

She said nothing, simply looking at me with sympathetic eyes.

"I swear by the whores you call goddesses I'll kill everyone here! Get me out of this fucking bed!"

Magical energy began to build around her horn, casting a pink glow on the bed. "I'm sorry, Miss Glendra." I continued to thrash uselessly against the bed, realizing that my legs had been strapped down. A ball of light floated from the nurse, settling over my chest and dissipating into a cloud of sparkling smoke.

"Get me out of this bed right now! Get me...I...I'm gonna..."

Suddenly, I no longer cared about my missing arm. I didn't care about my gunshot wounds or my bandaged wing or even the nurse. Everything was so serene. So calm. I was just...so very tired. I laid my head back against the pillow, feeling it turn into the fluffiest cloud imaginable. I let myself be overtaken by the warmth and the comfort of a cool afternoon. It was the perfect time for a nap.

The perfect time.

==========

"--her under with an anesthesia spell. Didn't take the news very well, it would seem."

I blinked myself awake, trying to block the sunlight with my outstretched arm -- which wasn't there. Oh, right. It'd been amputated. Wonderful.

"Wow. Poor boss. Da hell's she gonna do now?"

"I'm gonna kick your asses for talking about me when I'm sleeping," I mumbled, pushing myself up on my remaining arm.

"Hey, she's up! About time, boss. We was gettin' worried about ya." Wild Card slapped me on the back with a hoof. A delightful little surge of pain shot through me. My expression said enough. "Heh, uh, sorry about dat. Just excited to see ya up and about. Sort of."

Besides Card, Scarlet was in the room with us. For some strange reason I couldn't fathom, she had a nurse's cap on. "Welcome back to the land of the living. How are you feeling?"

"Well, my fuckin' arm is missing, but besides that, just peachy, Scarlet. Real peachy." I sat up in the hospital bed and propped myself up with a few pillows. I waved my bandaged stump in disbelief. "Can you believe this shit? They amputated my arm!" I wanted to punch the wall, but my right arm was my punchin' arm. Go figure. "I'm a cripple! What the hell am I supposed to do now? I can't even carry a damn gun!"

Scarlet sat down beside me. "Don't worry, boss, I'm sure we'll get this sorted out. You wouldn't be here if you weren't resourceful. Uh, 'here' as in 'alive', that is."

"Yeah..." I reached to the small table next to my bed, grabbing a glass of water. It was only room temperature by now, but I didn't care -- I downed that sucker in a no time. 'Thirsty' would be an understatement. It flowed down my throat and cleared my dry mouth. I felt like a griffon again.

Well, most of a griffon.

"How long have we been here?"

"In the hospital? Three days." Shit, that long? It didn't feel like three days. "Took us two days to get back to Equestrian waters. We had to have Cliff load you up in a sky carriage and haul you down here. 'Here' being Canterlot." She pointed a hoof at the collection of roughage on a tray next to my empty glass. "You gonna eat that celery stick?"

"Wasn't planning on it," I shrugged. "Don't suppose Canterlot can provide me with a steak..."

"Ugh, carnivores," she scoffed, taking a big crunch of celery. "You know," she said between chews, "you should really give some of this stuff a try. You might like it."

"I'll pass, thanks." I motioned to the pink cap on her head, adorned with a big, red cross surrounded by hearts in the middle. What is it with ponies and hearts, anyway? I realized I hadn't even asked about the rest of the crew yet. "Where's everyone at? Kinda surprised it's just you two."

Wild Card answered. "Cliff's shoppin' around town, said somethin' about not havin' enough primers or brass or somethin' like dat. Adi just kinda wandered off when we tied up at da dock, but, eh, you know him, he'll be back when we need him."

"Sounds like him, alright."

"Mmhmm. Oh, and Rochard said to tell ya 'hi' when ya wake up. He's hittin' up da market for a big welcome-back feast or such such."

Scarlet was busily writing something down in a small notebook, levitating a pen as her tongue poked out of her mouth in concentration. I waved my hand to get her attention.

"So, Scarlet, where the hell did you get that nurse's hat from, anyway? Somehow I doubt you joined up with the hospital while I was out cold."

"Me?" she asked skeptically, then waved a hoof. "Please. Like I'd consider staying in Canterlot that long." She took another bite of celery, then casually added, "I fucked the nurse for it."

Wild Card arched an eyebrow at her. His reaction matched my own. "Uh, ya did what now?" he asked.

"You heard me. I fucked the nurse."

Well, good to see Scarlet hadn't lost a step, I guess. "I swear to the Emperor, Scarlet, you've slept with half of Equestria by now."

"Hey, we all have urges, boss. Some of us are just better at exploiting those urges."

I can't judge too harshly. After all, we all have our vices. It just so happens Scarlet's is having a pair of legs vice-gripped around her head. I'd call her a nymphomaniac, but she's away from shore too much to take full advantage of it. On a related note, don't ever walk in when Scarlet's door is closed. I've seen things, dear readers. Things that cannot be repeated in (not so) polite company.

"Grinding of body parts aside, I wanted to, you know...thank you. For saving my life and such. The nurse--"

"Candy Care," she corrected.

"--right, Candy Care, said you managed to keep me stable while we steamed back to friendly waters. So, yeah...thanks."

"Any time," she answered with a smile. "Oh by the way, I'll be expecting a larger cut of the profits this time. Just sayin'."

Okay, make that two vices. But hey, at least it's one we all share!

"Of course. Should have expected as much."

Wild Card paced back and forth at the foot of the bed, eyes staring up at the ceiling in the closest thing he has to a thoughtful expression.

"Not to interrupt da love fest, ladies," he said in his gravelly, Bucklyn-heavy accent, "but what da fuck do we do now? I mean, let's be honest 'ere, boss: ya ain't in da best of shape."

I lifted my middle claw, letting Wild Card he was number one in my book.

"Heh heh, still got da attitude, though. But seriously, how ya supposed to fight wit' one arm?"

I shrugged. "Hell if I know. I just wanna get out of this damn bed. One thing at a time, right?"

There was a knock on the door. The same nurse that had put me under poked her head inside. "Sorry to--" when she spotted Scarlet she tried to hide a blush. It didn't work. "--ahem, uh, sorry to interrupt, but you have another visitor, Miss Glendra."

"If it's a brooding zebra or a pegasus with a bad attitude, tell 'em they can wait."

"Actually, it's somepony you may be very interested in seeing. She says you were doing something very important for her."

Only one pony that could be. "Oh. Well, yeah, send her in."

Sure enough, in strode the very mare who had sent me out on that fateful mission -- Princess Twilight herself. Card and Scarlet immediately dropped to their knees and bowed their heads. Heh, ponies. They sure do love their living deities. I couldn't exactly bow before Her Majesty or anything, so I just nodded my head at her. Close enough.

"Heya, Princess," I said with a smile. Scarlet glanced over in a look just short of panic at my informality. Eh, she'll get over it.

"Hello, Glendra," Twilight replied with a curt bow. "I'm glad to see you're still with us."

"Heh, yeah, barely." She made her way over to my bedside, greeting Card and Scarlet as she did. It's funny, you don't realize how tall she is until you see her next to other ponies. Hell, she's even slightly taller than I am, and griffons tend to be bigger than ponies anyhow. She's no Celestia, but she's gettin' there.

As a side note, that big crown thingy she wears must be worth a fortune. If only I could hock that sucker and live the rest of my life surrounded by servants who could peel grapes for me or something. Who peels grapes, anyway?

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"All things considered, I'm alright. Except for, you know..." I waved my bandaged stump at her. She frowned at the sight of it.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you. If I had known it would be that dangerous..." she trailed off.

I shrugged. "If you knew how dangerous it was, you wouldn't have needed us in the first place."

"I suppose you're right. But still, I feel just terrible for what happened. And so many lives were lost." She sounded truly saddened by the outcome, but what was I supposed to do? Let everyone keep shooting at us? I have to defend myself and my crew.

"Sometimes these things happen," I tried to reassure her. "Don't beat yourself up over it, Princess. How were we supposed to know they'd be armed to the teeth? And that...that war machine they had! Honestly, who could have expected that?"

"I know. I still wish we could have avoided any bloodshed." She motioned to the edge of the bed. "Do you mind if I sit down?"

"By all means," I answered. "Card, Scarlet, why don't you to go grab some lunch? Put it on my tab. I'd say you've at least earned that."

Scarlet was up before I could finish the sentence. "Lunch is fine, boss, but don't think for a second that covers my bonus for saving your ass." She poked Card with a hoof. "Come on, Card. Boss is buyin'."

They trotted out and shut the door behind them. Twilight laughed quietly. "That's quite the interesting group you've got."

"You don't know the half of it," I chuckled. "So what's up, Princess? I appreciate a friendly chat but somehow I don't think you came all the way here just to say you're sorry. I would have accepted a letter, or a pat on the back, or an all-expenses-paid trip to a resort. You know, the small things in life."

"I'm glad to see you're in a good mood, Glendra. All things considered. But yes, I did want to speak with you about a few things, if you don't mind."

"Fire away."

"First of all, I read the reports filed by your crew. I had no idea the Fifth Pillar had such weapons! And to amass them so quickly is astonishing. Nevermind that steam-powered monstrosity your friend -- Scarlet Melody, is it? -- said you ran into." Firearms tech is still relatively new to Equestrians, though we griffons have had them in one form or another for a few generations. That means that pony-specific weapons and ammunition are pretty expensive, and in limited supply. I will admit, though, that firearms technology has taken a massive leap since those smart-ass unicorns got their hooves on it.

"I spoke with Princess Celestia about it, but for her entire reign the weapon of choice was still a sword and shield. I don't think she knows much about this new stuff."

"Good thing they have you, then," I added. "You lookin' for ideas here?" She nodded. "Well, let's see...if 5-P managed to scrounge up so many weapons, and so quickly, then it stands to reason that they're very well-funded. Some of the kit they were using goes for a high amount of coins, especially that battle saddle, I'd wager. And for a facility that small to have such heavy defenses..."

"They had to have been supplied for a long time," she finished for me. She rubbed her forehead with a hoof. "Fifth Pillar's spokesmare has already come out and condemned 'the group of murderers and thieves', as she put it, who were behind the attack. She's sworn to bring them to justice for attacking a 'peaceful research facility'."

Peaceful. Ha! "You mean she's after us."

"Yes. Though if it makes you feel better, I don't believe she knows who, specifically, was responsible."

"Look on the bright side: she can rant and rave all she wants, but at the end of the day Equestria gets to keep its proverbial hooves clean, and I've made yet another enemy! I'd give you a count of how many that makes, but I stopped keeping track after we raided a cargo ship and, uh, borrowed sixteen tons of luxury materials that totally weren't being used to fund a black market in Zevran. Think I stepped on a few toes -- er, hooves -- that day, heh." She didn't seem convinced.

"Look, Princess, I know you hate when any lives are lost, but come on -- these were not good folks. And plausible deniability is why we exist in the first place! Someone's gotta do it. May as well be us."

"I suppose you're right," she sighed, "but still..." She bit her lip and was silent for a moment before continuing. "I also wanted to discuss what you found at that facility, besides the weapons I mean."

I shrugged. "We found a lot of stuff. I would have looked through the intel myself, but, you know...unconscious and all." I hadn't even had time to chat with my guys and gals about any of it. Whatever the princess wanted to discuss, I'd be sure to cross-check with the crew later on. Just in case. "Was there anything of particular note?"

"Just a few," she answered. "It was mostly harmless; payroll, work schedules, that sort of thing. But we did find a few documents talking about that 'Twitch' potion you found. Nasty stuff. Aurora was able to confirm it."

"She's been helpful, I take it?"

"Very much so. She still believes that Fifth Pillar can accomplish more good than harm if they put their minds to it, but she's under no illusion that they're bastions of pacifism."

Well hell, good thing we didn't choose to 'silence' her after all!

"So that was 5-P's big plan with that place? Making this Twitch potion?"

"It's possible. It's curious, though, that you didn't find any large brewing or storage facilities on-site. You would think that if you were mixing chemicals and extracts that there would be some sort of place to keep it all contained and organized. I mean, that's basic chemistry! I would have never kept such volatile compounds within easy reach of each other, much less--uh, sorry, you get the point," she laughed. "Anyway, there's no way the facility you went into was the main processing plant. We've since had the royal guard give it a thorough search -- we thought there may have been a hidden sublevel or something similar, but what you see is what you get in this case."

So 5-P had a bigger facility somewhere out there, presumably pumping out Twitch in large amounts. Okay, yeah, that's disconcerting, but it didn't seem like that big of a deal to me. From my point of view, 5-P's military assets were surprisingly stronger than expected -- just look at the armored vehicle we fought -- but were they strong enough to take on an actual, well-equipped military? I doubted it. For all intents and purposes, they were mercenaries with a hand in the usual revolutionary bullshit that a thousand groups before them had spouted.

Somehow, I doubted a fancy new potion would change anything. A guy on painkillers and stimulants is dangerous, sure, but he still drops dead if you put enough holes in him. Besides, folks don't give enough credit to most nations' armies. Equestria, for example, is a decent-sized country that's heavy on the friendship and tolerance and what-not, but their standing defense force -- the Royal Guard -- is well-trained, well-equipped, and well-disciplined. What they lack in numbers they make up for in ability. You ever see a guard slice his way through six assailants without a scratch? I have. Trust me, you wouldn't want to fuck with them.

Anyway, long story short, this Twitch stuff was interesting, but not a real game-changer. No doubt the Equestrians would be doing an analysis of it, as would Scarlet -- after all, she grabbed that vial before we left and, knowing her, she would have kept at least some of it to see what she could do to figure out how it worked.

Hopefully that didn't include taking any, because Scarlet's mood is prone to violent swings at the best of times. Anything that makes her both more aggressive and more aware would probably end in blood and/or various bodily fluids ending up all over the Sky. And that would just be inconvenient for everyone.

"So, Your Highness, besides the kill-happy potion, did we recover any other actionable intel?"

"Well, there was that steam-powered machine you fought. It's apparently called a 'land cruiser'. How in the world they managed to build one, much less move it out to a facility in the middle of nowhere like that, I have no idea. The guards say the machine shop was too small to create it on-site."

I rubbed my chin with my free -- and only -- claw hand. "Hmmm...must have a pretty strong logistics network to move something like that without being noticed. Maybe they used magic?"

She shook her head. "That was the first thing we considered, but teleporting something with that much mass would require an enormous amount of concentration and magical ability, even for someone like me. We would have questioned some of the unicorns, but, well..."

"Yeah, I know: dead as a doornail. I get it. Like I said, it happens."

"I know," she frowned. "There was one other thing..."

"Hmm?"

"We found several references to something called 'keystone'. Sound familiar?"

"I can't say it does, no. What is it, another potion?"

"Honestly? We have no idea," she admitted. "There were only four references in all of the paperwork we looked through, and none of it revealed anything beyond the name. The best lead we had to go on was a sentence that said '4E71 Keystone Main' and then the word 'Scrawc'aan'."

"Straw-what?"

"Scrawc'aan," she repeated. "It's ancient Griffon tongue for 'father'."

Huh. Learn something new every day. "You know ancient Griffon language?"

"Sort of," she answered with a laugh. "I can only fluently speak six other languages besides Equestrian, and that particular one isn't one of them. Still, you pick up a few things after reading, oh...seventeen thousand books?"

Holy shit! I'd use the term 'book worm' but I don't think that would even begin to describe it. Though I guess when you're an immortal princess who's had nothing but time for the last seventy years of yours crowned existence, you have to keep entertained somehow. Personally, I'd go for the whole "orgies and blood sports" thing, but society tends to look down such things these days.

Pfft. Killjoys.

"So...5E71 Keystone Main, and then some cryptic mentioning of someone's father. Not exactly a lot to go on."

Quick lesson for those of you who aren't familiar with the Equestrian calendar -- oh, don't look at me like that. I'm about to educate your asses. Hell, this book has it all: Action, adventure, intrigue, and now a healthy dose of history! And you only paid, like, 20 bits or your regional equivalent for it? Shit, that's a deal if ever there was one. I should charge double!

Okay, look, the shootin' and snoopin' will come soon enough. Sometimes you gotta buckle down and learn a thing or two. Trust me, you'll be glad for this information later.

Anyway, Equestrian history is broken down into "Eras", with a new era generally signified by a major societal change. Each era has a number of years. The First Era was Equestria's founding, after the three pony civilizations came together and started fuckin' because they were bored.

The Second Era began when the Princesses the ponies all know and love -- Celestia and Luna -- came to power during a time of serious upheaval. Lots of chaos gods, evil rulers, that sort of thing. Fun times.

Then came the Third Era, when Luna was banished for turning into a spiteful bitch. Fourth Era followed a thousand years later, when she was rainbow'd back into sanity by the Elements of Harmony, which our beloved Princess chatting with me was a part of. Apparently she was good at what she did, because the Fifth Era started not long after, when she was crowned as an official heir to the throne by Celestia and her sister. They co-rule as a trio for now, but eventually Twilight will be the only princess in the land.  It's been seventy-one years since she was crowned, hence the date: 5E71.

There's rumors that she'll be joined by the Crystal Empire girl, Princess Can-Can or whatever, but I don't really follow too closely. Pony royalty is all kinds of confusing, what with a thousand million princesses, yet no kings or queens. Personally I'd rather just stick with one Emperor, but then, griffons have always been a practical sort. Not to toot my own horn.

Okay, maybe a little.

There, now you've learned something. Don't say I never gave you anything. Those of you with ADD can carry on now.

"We'll keep looking into it. In the mean time, I'm sure you'd like to get back to your ship and see your crew, so I won't take any more of your time."

"Aw come on, Princess. It's not like I have many others to have an intelligent conversation with. Hell, the word 'intelligent' doesn't fit half my crew sometimes..."

She giggled. Gracefully, of course. "I'm sure they're not that bad." She began to move, but stopped mid-way. "Ahh...Glendra, would you mind if I ask you something?"

My curiosity was piqued -- Twilight isn't as stoic as Celestia, but she's generally in control of her appearance. Right now, she looked genuinely nervous. "Uh, sure. What's up?"

"There was one other thing we found: a location. Specifically, a Fifth Pillar outpost. After your encounter with them I'm genuinely concerned for the well-being of not just Equestria, but our allies as well. The problem is, I can't convince anyone else to see things the way you and I see them."

"What, a war machine, heavily-armed guards, and a psycho potion isn't enough? I'd think that would be pretty convincing."

She frowned. "Fifth Pillar's public relations has already trotted out the usual 'extremists who don't represent our views' line. Everyone's buying it, because the group just dumped half a million bits into public housing."

Ah, bribery. The old stand-by. If someone questions your motives, just flail your arms and scream "CHARITY!" from the tallest roof-top you can find. You can be skeptical if you want, but it works.

"There's also the line that they were acting in self defense. You've become a convenient scapegoat for this." Out-fucking-standing, just what I need: 5-P assholes painting a target on my head and making moi out to be the bad guy. Man, this day is just full of good news.

"I won't sugar-coat it, Glendra: I want you to help us out again. Just once more. If you can find something concrete, something irrefutable at that outpost, I can show the other leaders just how much of a charade the Fifth Pillar really is." She placed a hoof on my leg. "I don't want anyone else to die. I don't know how deep their ties go, or what, if anything, they have in mind, but I want it to stop before it can spiral out of control. You understand, don't you?"

Of course I did. I mean, shit, I've wanted to see those 5-P assholes go under for a long time now. But really, what was I supposed to do in my current condition? I waved my stumpy arm in her direction.

"Not to be a killjoy, Princess, but in case you haven't noticed, I'm a cripple now. How am I supposed to lead a team if I can't even hold a rifle? I lead from the front, and I can not and will not sit back on the ship while my guys and girls get shot at."

"I know," she said quietly, "and I realize I'm asking a lot of you, but you'd be doing a lot of good. Honestly. I'm not asking you to give me an answer right this moment; by all means, think it through. But promise me you'll consider it, okay?" She added with a light smile, "you will, of course, be generously rewarded for your service to Equestria."

"Now you're speakin' my language, Your Highness." I pushed myself up with a grunt, resting on my elbow. "Alright. I'll consider it. But no promises."

"Thank you. That's all I can ask." She stood up from the bed, stretching her wings out for a moment before tucking them back in. "The doctors say you'll be discharged tomorrow, if you're feeling alright. For the time being your crew is situated in Canterlot, and I've arranged for a personal pegasus taxi to take them to and from your ship as need be. Those that can't fly, anyway."

"At least the wings still work," I replied, motioning back. "At least, they should."

"Glad to hear it. I, uh, should really get going -- I have a line of diplomats and representatives to speak with, and they don't like to be kept waiting." She gave me a warm smile as she turned to leave. "Take care of yourself, Glendra.  Hopefully we'll see each other again soon."

"Thanks, Princess. I'll let you know what I decide. You take care, too."

"I look forward to hearing from you." As she was about to close the door behind her she called back. "Oh by the way, there's something waiting for you at your ship, in your personal quarters. I think you might appreciate it. Consider it compliments of Equestria's finest minds."