Arabian Ant Attack

by Spider Lord

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1378

Twilight and co have to fend off an attack by some Arabian ants!

In Ponyville one day Twilight is confronted with an ant invasion! She is forced to make sacrifices and do things she'd nver thought she'd do to survive! Warning! Not exactly Charles Dickens! Also! Paragraphs do not exist!

Published 2013-09-21 01:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-21 01:00:03 UTC

The Arabian ant's first strike.

Twilight was walking along just like minding her own business ya know how it is, then suddenly an evil ant overlord appeared from the ground!

'Twilight Sparkle' A high-pitched voice emanated from the creature 'I am the evil overlord of the Arabian ants, prepare to see all that you know and love destroyed as we ants take over this pitiful town!'

Twilight was scared out of her mind, 'No, how can you do this to us poor ponies you monster!'

'You're right pony I'm way out of my depth here. I don't know what I'm doing.'

'Wow really?'

'OF COURSE NOT YOU FOOLISH PONY!! NOW, PREPARE TO DIE!!'

Suddenly Rarity appeared out of nowhere 'DIE ANT OVERLORD, SIX LEGS?! ATROCIOUS!'

Twilight thought this was a pretty bad reason to be beating up an evil ant overlord but she wasn't going to stop Rarity from saving her life. A tectonic shiver verberated (<Apparently this isn't a word wtf?!) around Ponyville as the creature fell down dead, it's neck severed by Rarity.

THE END, or is it?

It seems not! Dozens of large ants started pouring out of the hole where the evil ant overlord had been.

'Holy Mary mother of God!!' cried Rarity.

'Quickly to my tree house thing I live in!'

They quickly set off to Twilght's home and set about using their magic to barricade the door and windows as they made it inside, they caught a glimpse of the sofa clerk being torn limb from limb by the now Lovercraftian swarm of ants.

'Oh Twilight whatever shall we do?' Rarity pleaded helplessly.

'I don't know Rarity I've been in this situation for as long as you have! Do something yourself for once bitch.'

The ground started rupturing like an overheated cake 'They're burrowing up through the floor! Quickly upstairs!'

They darted to the first floor to find Spike sleeping soundly.

'Spike wake the fuck up there's an ant invasion for God sake!!!!!!'

'Shut up Twilight I hate the way you push me around I'm retiring!' Spike got up and went downstairs.

'NO SPIKE' 'Shut up I'm not listenin- GRAHHHHH' He was cut of by the gigantic pair of pincers risen from the floor which had lacerated his body. 'Oh God help me!!!!!!' It was too late he was dragged underground.

'Well, their feasting on Spike's corpse will buy us some time we need to think of a way to get out of here...' said Twilight.

'Oh look! Out the window!' Rarity beckoned Twilight over, flying around was the Pegasus Rainbow Dash!

'Hey Rainbow Dash! Over here!' Twilight cried to her, her head turned 'Over here! We need help!'

Hearing this the element of loyalty swooped down through Twilight's window.

'Hey guys! Something the matter?' she asked.

'IS SOMETHING THE MATTER?!' Twilight exclaimed 'Rainbow Dash there's an ant invasion going on and I've just seen my pet dragon get horribly killed by them!!'

'...Oh, soo you three need help getting out of here huh?' She asked

'Us.. three?'

'Yeah, you, Rarity and Pinkie!'

Pinkie Pie had inexplicably appeared next to them.

'Pinkie Pie wtf?! How did you get in here?' Twilight inquired.

'Through the front door silly!' Pinkie responded

'But we blocked the front door... you know what nevermind we need to get out of here! I suggest Rainbow Dash stays behind to sacrifice herself whilst Rarity, Pinkie and I get away! All in favour?'

'Erm... I'm not really sure about that guys...' Rainbow stuttered.

'Shut up Rainbow Dash no one likes you. Okay let's knock her out!'

Pinkie Pie walloped Rainbow in the head with her hoof, knocking her out cold.

'Okay now let's throw her out the window and whilst the swarm comes around for feeding we make a dash for it! No pun intended.' Twilight instructed.

'Okey Dokey' Said Pinkie as she and Rarity began to lift Rainbow off the floor.

'Ah thankfully I will never have to look at that garish technicolour hairdo ever again' Rarity said pleasingly.

'Surf's up ants!' Shouted Pinkie as they threw the body to the ravenous horde, which immediately began to eviscerate it on contact with the floor.

'Okay ponies now's our chance!' Twilight whispered.

They crept downstairs and towards the barricaded door, avoiding the fissures in the ground where the ants had come up and taken Spike.

'Okay let's sneak away!' Twilght and Rarity used their magic to clear the blockade and then them and Pinkie tiptoed (Horses don't have toes whatever) out of the tree-house. They heard the sounds of the ants feasting from the other side of Twilight's home, 'Okay, let's get to Canterlot and see Princess Celestia she'll know what to do!'

[However long it takes to get to Canterlot from Ponyville amount of time later...]

They arrived at Canterlot and immediately set about seeing the ruler of Equestria whom nobody voted for.

'Yo whattup Princess C?' Twilight inquired as they met with the Princess 'How's being ruler of Equestria going and all that?'

'It was fine UNTIL YOU GOT HERE!' The Princess glared at her like she would very much like to eat her soul.

'Well Princess, there's erm... a little bit of an ant infestation down in Equestria and we were wondering...'

'JUST USE THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY! Have you learnt nothing? If you got a problem just use the elements and then BAM! Problem solved. Now go away I'm in the middle of trying to think of an excuse to send my sister to the moon.'

The little ponies looked at each other awkwardly.

'Erm Princess?' Twilight asked tentatively.

'Mm hmm' Celestia responded, uninterested.

'Rainbow Dash sorta had an accident and without her we can't use the element of harmony so...'

'Fucking hell Twilight so you murdered Rainbow Dash? Good, I hated her... Well let me show you something a lot more powerful than the Elements of Harmony... follow me you annoying ponies.' The Princess pressed a button on her throne and a secret descending staircase opened up, the three little ponies followed Celestia down into a dark room.

'Behold. The true magic of friendship!!' She flipped a switch and the room was bathed in light, refracting off the hundreds of firearms that were laden in the room, each of them twinkling majestically in all their metallic glory.

'Knock yourselves out my little ponies!' Celestia declared and gestured for the ponies to investigate her deadly cache, Pinky immediately jumped to inspect a fearsome looking Gatling gun

'Oo hoo ho I've always wanted one of these!' She could barely contain her excitement 'Oh boy I'm gonna kill a lot of things with this!!' A demoniacal grin across her face.

'That's right you'll be able to kill a lot of ants with this weapon' said the Princess.

'Ants? What ants?' Pinky asked, puzzled.

'Oh kayyyyyyyy... let's just get these weapons and get back to Ponyville and destroy the ant invaders.' Twilight asserted.

'Good I can't wait for this ghastly business to be over!' Rarity said (<Can't be bothered to think of a synonym for 'said')

[However long it takes to get to Ponyville from Canterlot amount of time later...]

They arrived in Ponyville, each of them packing heat, to the sight of Mayor Mare being stripped to the bone.

'They say ants never sleep.' said Pinky, bordering on psychosis 'But they sure as hell DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!'

The ponies opened fire, their bullet showers slicing through the ant's chitinous skin, hemolymph oozing from their wounds and dowsing the town purple.

After several minutes the ant horde had been expunged, the three ponies covered in ant juice, Pinky breathing heavily.

'Well thank God that fiasco's over I'm going home and I'm not coming out until I've had a nice long bath' Rarity said, and walked away.

'Hey Twilight wanna come to a 'Goodbye ants' party at mine this afternoon?' Pinky asked (<Is it Pinky or Pinkie, I think it's Pinkie oh well)

'Sure thing Pinkie, I'll just go to mine to get ready.'

'Okay Twilight see ya there!' Pinkie left leaving her Gatling gun lying on the ground.

Twilight made her way to her house, wondering what she had learnt today.

'Well,' She thought 'I'll need to order a new pet dragon.'

THE END

Hope you enjoyed this epic tale.