Chapter 1: A New Hero
I am just a normal average brony. I’m a neckbeard who lives in a half-decent apartment complex. Not to mention that fact that I’m overweight. I mean, I’m not obese, but I am fat. And my beard is so long and thick it’s hard to tell that it’s even a neckbeard.
Well, it was just a normal day like any other. I was using my sky blue horse insert fleshlight well watching some of my favorite episodes of MLP. After I ejaculated. I posted some pro-brony comments on the video and started a flamewar. Then I went on to /mlp/ and told others about my problems. They all basically just called me an autistic faggot. I then went my therapist to sort out my many psychological problems. My therapist can’t get me to stop finding the holocaust so damn funny. Every time someone tells a holocaust joke I basically die of laughter. Fucking jews.
“This isn’t going to work.” Said my therapist.
He then canceled all my future appointments and told me to kill myself. I walked outside. My car had been stolen. It was probably one of those shady niggers that live in this part of town. I had to walk home. That was really fucking dreck considering I live 5 miles from the therapist and I had to walk through Beaner Ave. That’s the place where all those gangster spicks hang out and act like they’re tough shit, like they’re Princess Celestia or something.
I walked through the streets. All the creepy Mexicans were staring at me like I had something wrong with me. The one gang’s boss (His name is like Beanerking or something) looked at my Mane 6 shirt.
“Yo, you some kinda autist or somethin’?” he asked me.
“No way! MLP for life! Leave me alone you dumb beaners!” I yelled at them. No one makes fun of MLP when I’m around. The angered beaner looked at me .
“You best get your fat, pony-loving ass outta my neighborhood.” He said.
This was time to shine. To show everyone that I’m not some autistic faggot. I punched him and said. “MEGAHOOF!”
He just stared at me. I could see the anger in his greasy, taco sauce covered face. He pulled out shank and stabbed me in the arm. I started to run away like a nigger who had just stolen a TV. I was trying to outrun them, but they must have gotten in shape when they jumped the boarder. It didn’t help that I used up all my energy when I was clopping earlier. We had now run through at least half of the shady spick part of town. They following gang members started throwing their stolen Green cards at me like shurikens. They hit and left large cuts and my back and arms while I was running.
We were now heading into the weird part of town where all the money-grubbing jews live. I saw my one chance for survival. There was this one creepy jewish guy that drove around a big van with dreidels painted all over it. I ran up to the van, opened the door, and yelled “GO GAS YOURSELF!” to the driver before slamming his head on the steering wheel and hijacking the van. I slammed down on the gas pedal and flew down the street, running over hundreds of jewish guys along the way. I stuck my hand out the window and gave the beaners the middle finger.
“Get back on the your side of the border, assholes!” I yelled to them.
What shit though, now the stupid cops were coming after me. I had to take a detour to get away faster. Luckily there was a large nursery ahead. I smashed the stolen van through the wall and ran over many children inside, killing them on contact. I smashed through the wall and a drove away. The police stopped on the other side of nursery because I guess they were afraid to kill all these little kids or something, what faggots. I crashed the van into a concrete barrier and flew through the windshield. I was covered in cuts and wounds, but my apartment was literally 50 feet away. I just walked into my apartment, got naked , and prayed to Princess Celestia before cuddling with my custom Rainbow Dash sex doll and going to sleep.
