Wherever Soarin Goes

by Puppo530

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Soarin, Spike, Romance, Spitfire, Twilight Sparkle, Random
Length: 7674

Soarin has a date with a princess of Equestria, and he is stoked for it. Little does he know that he will fall for someone very different than what he ever could've thought.

Soarin has a date with a princess of Equestria, and he is stoked for it. Little does he know that he will fall for someone very different than what he ever could've thought.

Published 2013-09-29 03:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-01 04:57:39 UTC

1 - What

"I can't believe I have a date with Twilight freakin' Sparkle!" Soarin' shouted as he un-crooked his bow tie. "She's a freakin' princess of Equestria for crying out loud!"

"What the f*** Soarin, don't cuss," Spitfire warned as she yanked a brush through his mane. "It's pretty crazy how it happened too."

"Yeah, she just trotted straight up to me and asked me out. What's up with that?" Soarin yelped in pain as Spitfire tugged harder on his luscious hair.

If only I had that much courage, Spitfire cried to herself. She had had it going on for Soarin ever since that one magical night after practice... but that could never happen. He didn't see her like that. He would never see her like that. She still pulled the comb through his mane, admiring it more and more with each pull. It truly was beautiful. The cerulean hair cascaded over his tense, muscly body. Alas, it could not be. They were Wonderbolts. Intra-team relations were strictly forbidden. Still, she could easily do away with the rule as the captain, but the traditions of previous Wonderbolts could not be squandered. She would have to set aside her feelings for him. She would have to not give into the temptation. She would have to be strong. Use all of her strength not to yell out right now, "I love you." She couldn't. She couldn't...

"Yo, Spitfire," Soarin called back, pulling her out of her trance. "I think my mane's done now. I swear you're about to pull it out."

I would never do that to such beautiful hair, Soarin. I love it too much. I love you too much. No. No. No. No. No. Stop it, Spitfire. Pull yourself together. He's not that handsome, right? Those muscles aren't that rough and big. His coat isn't that perfectly straight. His mane isn't a deep blue that reminds you of the tossing seas of your inner emotions. Not at all. Heh. Heh. Heh. Heh...

"Are you okay, Spitfire?" Soarin turned around to his friend (only friends only friends Spitfire forced herself to think) with a look of genuine concern. He cares about me! Look at his face! He loves me! As a friend, Spitfire! Only as a friend! Pull yourself together! Don't stare into his eyes! His beautifu- Something was up with Spitfire. Soarin knew that she was crushing on him in a huge way. He tried to make it easier for her, but asking her to help him prepare for a date wasn't the nicest thing he could've done. He made a mental note not to do this in the future. He slowly backed away, heading towards the door.

"Well, if you're okay, I'll just head on to my date. You know. The one that's with Twilight." After no response from the mare, he left with, "Okay bye now, Spitfire." In a flash, he was out the door. Goodbye, my love. A tear slowly slid down her cheek as she prepared for another night of crying herself to sleep due to the unrequited love that plagued her.

-

"Spike! I told you to file these books an hour ago! Now how will ponies find their books of Pre-Nightmare Music if you don't put them in the right section!"

Spike sighed. He didn't feel like getting out of bed. He just felt like snuggling up with his blankie and dream more about gems. Mmmmm... gems. It's actually been 55 minutes since you asked me to sort those books, Twilight, but who's counting? Spike lazily rolled out of his basket and stood upright. He looked down upon Twilight from the upper floor. She was lightly padding herself with something-a-ma-jig that Spike assumed was for makeup. "You're actually putting on makeup? I haven't seen you do that since the Gala five months ago!"

"Ha ha ha, Spike. Very funny. I'll have you know, I have a very big date tonight with one Mr. Soarin, so if you won't mi-"

"Wait, Soarin?" Spike asked. "Oh, you mean when Rarity-"

"No!" Twilight asserted defensively. "This is a simple, totally romantic, date. I happen to like Mr. Soarin very much, so you can be quiet."

"Sure." Spike rolled his eyes. He was dragging his feet down the stairs when there was a knock at the door. Twilight rushed over to the door and pulled it open with a swish of magic. Soarin stood there, a little nervous. Biting his lip. Pfft. Who could blame him? He was about to go on a date with a princess for goodness' sake. Still, Spike made a note of this to tease about later.

"Wow," Soarin mouthed, not being able to speak. He looked at Twilight with all her glory. All her beautiful beauty. Oh, wow, he thought. How did I manage this? A date with Twilight Sparkle? He realized quickly that he was just standing there in the doorway with his mouth agape. He internally shook himself awake. You've gotta get your head in the game, Soarin. After fixing himself up mentally, he held out his right hoof to her. "Your majesty, may we proceed?"

Oh my goodness he's such a dork, Spike thought. Twilight didn't think so apparently. She blushed. "You don't have to call me your majesty, Soarin. Just Twilight's fine," she said rather sheepishly.

"But you are a princess, and I intend to honor you as such. Shall we proceed?" She took her hoof and they walked out the door. They're all a bunch of dorks, Spike thought as he took the opportunity to head back into his bed. They are such dorks. Adorable little dorks.

Author's Note

I'm so incredibly sorry.

Still, this was really fun to write.

Will Spitfire ever get a break? What happens on Soarin and Twilight's date? Will Spike ever get those books filed correctly? With whom will Soarin fall in love? Tune in next time to find out in 'Chapter 2 - The'!

2 - The

All was peaceful in Ponyville. Lily watered her lilies. Rose watered her roses. Everything was at peace. Not a hair was out of place on this perfect day. Mayor Mare even held a press conference stating that it was, "...a perfect day," and that "...nothing could go wrong on such a perfect day as this." It made the headlines on all the morning papers. Truly a beautiful day. All was well and nothing could go wrong.

That is until hypoglycemic aliens from the 12th dimension came bursting forth from the rift in time and space just above Ponyville Library. That was a bit of a bummer.

The strange alien black blobs floated gently onto the ground in front of the tree. Spike bravely burst through the door in full armor and broadsword. As the shining day immediately became overcast and as the rain began to fall from the heavens Spike drew his sword through the blobs. Their blood, a strange mix of high-fructose corn syrup and bees, gushed forth from the blubbery folds of their primordial bodies. Lightning struck with a crack. Thunder rumbled over the town. The aliens had been conquered. Spike washed his hands in their blood. Amidst the stinging from the sugary bees he knew that he had won.

"Oh, Spike!" remarked Rarity with swift attraction. "You saved me!"

"Of course I did, baby," Spike commanded with a cocky grin that made Rarity fall head over heels. "Come now, inside the library!" Spike led his new mare-friend up the stairs leading to Twilight's bedroom. When he arrived at the bedroom however, he discovered a strange white pony just standing on the bed, staring at them. He looked just as confused as they were when they discovered him. "Soarin, what the freakity frackity heck are you doing on Twilight's bed?"

"I'm not exactly sure," the stallion replied.

Spike awoke quickly from his awfully strange dream. His napping dreams were always the weirdest. He just never knew they could be that weird. Spike yawned loudly and rolled out of bed. Twilight's still not back. Guess it wouldn't hurt to have some second dinner. He meandered his way downstairs, still wiping the tiredness away from his eyes.

-

Even though Princess Twilight Sparkle was terrible at art, really didn't understand it, and pretty much had almost complete disdain for it, she did enjoy one aspect of art class as a little foal: splattering paint. Oh man, that was the bomb. You would get your little paint brush, dip it in some paint, and just go wild. Twilight danced with her wand, cascading spells onto the paper. The result: worthless. The fun: great. The mess: greater. As Twilight stared up at the stars with Soarin she thought of these things. Nostalgia was always fun, and it was always considered deep and thought-provoking when you stared at stars or across a lake at sunset. Oh man. So deep.

Soarin was having a great time with Twilight, as he hesitantly addressed her. Their meal was superb, and for once he did not get any food on his person. Well, it doesn't count if they're in the bathroom when it happens. A big problem with having a white mane was that any mess made upon it gets multiplied by a thousand. There was still a little sauce stain on his mane, upon which licking proved to be ineffective. He hoped she wouldn't notice as they stared up at the beautiful sky together, watching the stars do nothing at all. It was like a work of art that was living and breathing. Soarin didn't "get" art. Even though, it didn't keep him from appreciating the sublime beauty of the work.

She did notice the stain.

"Aren't they beautiful?" Soarin asked with wonder as the stars of the night sky filled his eyes.

"They certainly are."

Soarin realized what he was saying and quickly pulled out the fail-safe defense mechanism: "Of course, they're not as beautiful as you."

Twilight blushed a little. She covered her smile with a hoof. "Aw, thank you, Soarin."

Nailed it.

"We should probably get going then?" Twilight suggested.

"Oh, yeah, sure." They slowly got up from their soft spots on the grass and made their way back through the streets of Ponyville. It was a beautiful night. With an even more beautiful mare.

-

Spitfire could not stop weeping. We were meant to be, Soarin! Why can't you see that? I love you! There! I said it! I LOVE YOU! Why can't you see what I see? Why can't you see the life I see with us together? Why? Why can't you see my love? I would do anything for you! Anything!

Anything.

Alas, nothing changed.

-

Spike was reflecting back upon his strange dream. Why the heck was Soarin on the bed? He was just standing there, so I guess that's good. But why? Oh well. I'm probably reading too much into this. He just slipped into my dreams cause I saw him right before I went to sleep. Man, these eggs are delicious.

He was still thinking about these things when Twilight finally arrived home. She stood in the doorsill with Soarin. Soarin was nervously scratching the back of his neck as he looked down at the ground. Twilight just smiled at him for a while.

"I had a great time tonight, Twilight," he started.

"I did too. Thank you, Soarin."

"So... would... yo-"

"-like to go on another date?" she finished. "Of course I would."

A smile made its way across his face. "Great. Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"It's a date."

"Awesome." He stood there for a few moments in an awkward silence before finishing with, "Great. Goodnight, Twilight." He looked past her to where Spike was standing in the kitchen. "See ya later, Spike."

"Goodnight, Soarin." When he had finally left, she quickly but softly closed the door. "Whew. I'm glad that's over."

"It wasn't too bad, was it?" Spike inquired as he shoved the last parts of his eggs into his mouth.

"No, it was really nice. He's so sweet. He's just a bit..."

"Stupid?" Spike suggested.

"Stop it," she laughed.

"Well, I think you two are quite adorable."

"Thanks, Spike."

"Anytime."

Author's Note

Oh my goodness gracious. What am I even writing?

Oh well.

What's up with Twilight? What's up with Spike? Will Spitfire ever catch a break? Find out the answer to none of these questions in its entirety in the next chapter: 'Chapter 3 - Freaking'!

3 - Freaking

"So, how are things going with the Princess?" Spitfire asked the blue pegasus before her. She had grown better about hiding her utter and absolute love for him. She tried to appear friendly towards their relationship. She tried to cover the pain in her eyes. Soarin saw through this easily, of course, but she didn't know that.

"It's going well. We're going on our fifth date tonight." Soarin, on the other hand, tried to underemphasize things for her. He tried not to bring up his time spent with Twilight. Still, it was going so incredibly well that some things just spilt out. He saw the pain in her eyes. It broke his heart at the same time that it broke hers. By now he had learned to only answer direct questions about the relationship, to try and prevent further harm to her soul.

"Good." It was tearing Spitfire up, it truly was. With each new great thing that she learned about their wonderful relationship, or that's how it appeared to her, her heart split more and more in two. Each thing reminded her of her eternal state of solitude that remained before her, because she would never be able to love another besides Soarin. All in her life was consumed by the stallion. Nothing could rival it. Truly, what a tragedy it was. "I'm happy for you." But you would be much happier with me, Soarin. Why can't you see that?

"Thank you, Spitfire." He felt sorry for her. There was nothing he could do. His heart was set on a different mare. And she was a freakin' princess of Equestria.

How could one describe what Twilight meant to Soarin? She was everything to him. Truly everything. He knew that they had only gone on four dates, and had hardly seen each other outside of those dates, but he truly loved her. He could feel it in his soul and heart. Nothing could mean more to him than she did. Nothing could be held in higher esteem. Nothing could be greater. Than what Twilight meant to him. He already had plans for proposal. It was that extreme.

With those words of gratitude towards Spitfire, Soarin went off on his way to prepare himself for his date. Tonight they were just going to a dinner. It was going to be perfect. He could feel it in his feathers.

-

"You're... what?"

"Nothing. Nothing, Soarin. I just feel that... we should stop seeing each other. You know, and start seeing other people." Twilight sat across from the pegasus as she delivered the hard news. She wore a face of concern and sadness of the terrible deed that she must do: tearing a heart in half. It hurt her as well, but it must be done.

"You're breaking up with me?" he asked in disbelief.

"Well, yes. I am." Twilight looked at his eyes. They were tearing up. Oh dear. This wasn't supposed to happen. Oh dear.

"H- H-... Why? Just, why?" Soarin could feel them come, the waterworks. He couldn't stop them. They were already streaming down his face. He didn't want to stop them. He didn't care how he looked. This was not the time or place for that.

"I really, just don't, feel anything for you... I'm sorry, Soarin. I just don't."

"You don't feel anything for me? What? You were the won who asked me out first! Not the other way around!" Twilight, upon hearing this, furtively looked away, refusing to meet his eyes. "Why did you do it if you didn't have any feelings for me? Why would you just walk up to me and ask me out if you didn't care about me?"

Oh dear, Twilight thought to herself. This wasn't supposed to hurt him. This was supposed to be all in good fun. I don't mean to hurt him, but I have to tell the truth. I've been lying this entire time, well, they're not really lies. I never told him "I love you" or anything. I just let him believe that I liked him. Is that so wrong? Finally, Twilight came up with an answer. Yes, it is wrong. I have to confess. I have to tell him the truth.

"Soarin," she started, "I'm sorry. This relationship was never supposed to be serious. It was just supposed to be a little bit of fun. You know, having a good time. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to-"

"I LOVE YOU, TWILIGHT!" Soarin shouted above the meager roar of the conversations in the restaurant. They all silenced at once. Twilight looked at him utterly horrified. Soarin spoke again in a softer tone, "I love you and this is what you do? It was just supposed to be a good time? That's what my love is to you?"

"No no no no no no no no no no no no!" Twilight was in tears now too. "I'm so sorry Soarin! I didn't know you felt that way about me! I was just- it was all just-... I'm so sorry, Soarin. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Understand that, please. I'm so sorry. So sorry..." Tears overtook her words, muffling them. She repeated a few more apologies but they were lost to the tears falling from her eyes. She regained a slight bit of composure and asked him in half disbelief, "You really love me?"

Soarin wiped the tears from his eyes. He looked away from her and down to his full bowl of salad. He wasn't hungry anymore. He wasn't crying anymore. He shook his head at the alicorn across the table from him. "No, Your Highness, I don't." He looked up at her, meeting her eyes, daring her to look at him as he told her, "I used to, but not anymore. Not anymore." He rose from the table and pushed his chair in with a wing. "Goodbye."

Twilight reached out to him, but he turned and stormed out of the restaurant. "Soarin, I-" she called. He didn't hear. "This wasn't supposed to hurt anyone," she repeated to herself. "No one was supposed to cry. This was supposed to be fun." Twilight released more tears from her tear ducts as she whispered to herself, What have I done?

-

Spitfire was in a pickle. On one hoof, she was really sad that the love of her life was in tears, practically convulsing, on the floor in front of her. On the other hoof, it was super hot. On a different hoof, he was in one of the most despairing moments of his life and she did not enjoy seeing her one true love this incredibly sad. On the last hoof, it was because he had broken up with Twilight, which left the door wide open for her. She wasn't exactly sure what to feel. Happiness or sympathy? Elation or despair? In the interest of time she decided to feel both at once. Of course, she would only show one side to Soarin as she comforted him.

"How could she be so mean?" Soarin asked through the running faucets of his face. "How could she just treat my love like a game like this? All for fun? Who does that?"

I would never do those things to you, Soarin. Not in a million years. "I don't know, Soarin. I just don't know."

"Just, why? Why?" he asked in utter despair. She softly consoled him while drawing her hoof through his mane. Under different circumstances, this would've been beautiful. But alas, her love was in tears over a different mare. Will Spitfire ever catch a break?

-

A few knocks came upon Rarity's door that evening. She checked the clock. 3 AM. This can't be good. Something has gone terribly wrong with Twilight. Today was their fifth date. She needed something to cheer up her alicorn friend. She could only think of one thing: ice cream. She swung open the door to reveal a princess in tears. The ice cream was put to immediate use.

After being told the entire story by Twilight, Rarity asked, "He said he loves you?"

"Loved," she corrected. "Not anymore. Not after what I did to him. Tearing his heart in two."

"Sweetie, it's okay. He will move on. Just you wait. Tomorrow, he'll have a different mare or something like that." Twilight nodded in approval but continued to spoon ice cream into her mouth. Out of curiosity, Rarity raised another question, "You didn't mention the fact that I dared you to go on five dates with him, did you?"

Twilight shook her head. "I didn't think he would be able to handle it: the full truth."

"Good. It's for the best. Though now I feel terrible as well. I mean, he was so sad. It was just a bit of fun, right? He wasn't supposed to get hurt." Twilight looked up at her unicorn friend and slowly levitated the ice cream bowl and spoon towards her. She graciously accepted.

This was not a fun day at all.

-

Spike was in a pickle. At least, that was what his dream was about. He tried eating his way through, but the pickle's walls were too thick. He would have to blow them up with dynamite, which appeared right next to him upon the thought of them. Yes, this would do. He blew the walls of the picklish prison in which he was trapped wide open. He was finally free. The air was fresh, new again. He had succeeded.

Author's Note

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^My general emotion while writing this. Probably your emotion while reading it as well. Though probably with a lot more exclamation points.

Will Spitfire ever catch a break? How will Spike react to this event? What will happen to SoarinXTwilight? Will they get back together? What about SpitfireXSoarin? Why the heck is Spike in this story? Comedic relief? Possible love interest? If so, for whom? Find out some of the answers possibly to these questions in the next chapter, Chapter 4 - Heck!

((Fun fact, 3 AM is when I finished this story.))

4 - Heck

"Can't I go to bed? It's getting really late, girls. There's the big gala tomorrow and I don't want to be tired the entire day like today."

"Come now, Twilight!" the mares tempted. "Just one quick game of 'Kiss, Marry, Kill'?"

"Oh alright," Twilight finally ceded. She sat down in the circle her group of friends had made. Even Spike was there.

The game started slowly, for Fluttershy did not like to say which of the three she would kill, even though she had already picked stallions for the other two categories leaving only one option. It picked up again once Pinkie said without hesitation that she would kiss Gummy, much to the surprise of everypony there.

The game finally fell upon the princess and Rarity instigated the question, "Alright, Twilight, kiss, marry, kill: Big Macintosh, Soarin, or..." she paused for dramatic effect "...Prince Blueblood?"

"Well obviously," she began to answer, "I would kill Prince Blueblood." This was immediately followed by a roar of approval and many nodding of heads, none of which were more enthusiastic than that of Rarity. "I would marry Big Mac." Everypony in the circle, including Spike, looked around at one another, nodding their heads in understanding. It left just one more pony. Slightly blushing, Twilight admitted, "I guess I would kiss Soarin then."

"Ooooooooh..." the group cooed. "Does Twilight have another crush under her belt?" Rarity teased.

"No!" she denied, but it only added to their suspicions. "It's just that, he's rather..."

"Dreamy?" "Handsome?" "Hunkalicious?" (The latter of which was suggested by Pinkie Pie, as always.)

"Well... yes." The group oohed once more with approval and slight teasing. "But that's it, it's just a silly little crush."

Rarity, with her almighty relationship prowess, immediately began to dissect the situation, "You see: your problem, dear Twilight, is that you never act. You pine and you pine and you pine..." she paused for the laughter to die down a little, "... over these stallions and you don't do anything about it." A murmur of agreement spread over the room. "I bet... you can't go on five dates with the guy." A challenge had been issued. Everypony turned to look at Twilight to see how she would respond.

Twilight Sparkle, princess of Equestria, had been warned about this: peer pressure. On the other hand, it couldn't really hurt anypony. It was just five dates. Hardly enough to develop a really strong emotional connection with another. Also, it might even lead to a possible long-term relationship. It truly was a win-win situation. With this idea in mind, Twilight accepted the challenge. The next day, at the gala, she acted. Soarin, though taken aback, heartily accepted.

Nothing could go wrong.

-

One date later...

-

"Goodnight, Soarin." When he had finally left, she quickly but softly closed the door. "Whew. I'm glad that's over."

"It wasn't too bad, was it?" Spike inquired as he shoved the last parts of his eggs into his mouth.

"No, it was really nice. He's so sweet. He's just a bit..."

"Stupid?" Spike suggested.

"Stop it," she laughed.

"Well, I think you two are quite adorable."

"Thanks, Spike."

"Anytime." After a few minutes of silence and of Spike eating, he asked again, "So what is wrong with the guy?"

"Well, I guess you were a little right earlier," she sheepishly admitted. "He's just not... that... bright. That sounds really mean though."

"Twilight, compared to you, everypony is not that bright." Spike held the plate upside down above his head, licking the last crumbly bits of egg off the plate.

"He's also really interested in a lot of things that I'm not particularly fond of, you know?" She slowly began removing the makeup that she had applied earlier for the very date from which she just returned.

"Like what?" Spike asked.

Twilight thought for a minute. "Football. He just absolutely loves football. Almost wouldn't stop talking about it. Really all sports in general. He absolutely adores sports."

"Well, what can you expect?" Spike obviously pointed out. "He's a freakin' Wonderbolt, for Celestia's sake. Of course he's gonna be really athletic and into sports."

"I know, it's just..."

"So you've gotten over your crush of him?" Spike began to make his way up the stairway.

Twilight wiped away the last bits of makeup from her face and stepped out of her dress. "Yes, I have," she admitted. "There's nothing wrong with him, he's just not my type. He's a good guy, just not my kind of good guy. Oh well. Only four more dates with him." Twilight climbed into bed and added, "You would really like him though."

"I would?" Spike too wrapped himself in his blankets.

"Oh yes." A yawn escaped Twilight's mouth. "You two would be like best friends or something."

"Is that so..." They both drifted off to peaceful sleep.

-

Four dates and a tear-filled breakup later...

-

Spike was secondly aroused by a loud thumping noise. He turned over on his side and continued snoozing, when another noise disturbed his slumber. Groggily, he pulled the covers off himself and rolled out of his bed. He was a little surprised to see that Twilight was not in her bed, but he dismissed this as some girlfriend sleepover party or something equally girlish and therefore out of his thoughts.

He made his way over to the window and looked out to see a blue flying figure outside. He fumbled and opened the window to discover that it was Soarin who was outside the library. He was holding a gray box thing, Spike's eyes couldn't quite make it out yet for they were still awaking. The Wonderbolt pulled out a thing from the box and threw it against the treehouse. Spike called out to him, "Hey, Soarin! What are you doing?"

Soarin noticed Spike. "Twilight Sparkle broke my heart!" he screamed. "This is no less than what she deserves!" He threw another object over Spike's head and into the bedroom. It cracked against the floor and splattered its contents everywhere. An egg? Spike wondered. Is he egging us?

Spike turned back towards the pegasus and shouted, "Are you freaking egging us? Not cool, man."

Soarin dropped the carton of eggs. "She broke my heart! Where is she?"

"I don't know, dude. I haven't seen her all day. I don't think she wants to talk to you though."

"When you see her, tell her that Soarin wants to have a word with her!"

"Are you challenging her to a duel or something? What?" Spike was awfully confused. It was early. Give him a break.

"No, I just want to have a word with her!"

"If you're gonna pick a fight, then fight me. I'll gladly protect Twilight any day."

"Fine! 6 o'clock! Tonight! Ponyville town hall!"

"Maybe I will!"

With the new fight instigated, Soarin flew off to his home, leaving the now broken carton of eggs behind. Spike on the other hand finally woke up fully. What did I just agree to? A fight? With a Wonderbolt?

I'm dead.

Author's Note

And so the convoluted plot thickens. Even I wonder what will happen next. I seriously have no freakin idea how to get to the ending I wish to reach. I guess we'll find out together, dear reader.

What's happening to Soarin? Will he ever forgive Twilight? Is this Spike's true purpose in this story? Will Spitfire ever catch a break? Find out the pseudo-answers to these and less in the next installment: 'Chapter 5 - Is'!

Moral questions: Has Twilight successfully repented? Are Soarin's actions justified? Are they morally right? Is Spike a lazy bum? On which side of the morality scale is Spitfire? Am I morally justified in writing this?

Hint: the answer to the last moral question is 'no'.

5 - Is

"How could she be so mean?" Soarin asked through the running faucets of his face. "How could she just treat my love like a game like this? All for fun? Who does that?"

I would never do those things to you, Soarin. Not in a million years. "I don't know, Soarin. I just don't know."

"Just, why? Why?" he asked in utter despair. She softly consoled him while drawing her hoof through his mane. Under different circumstances, this would've been beautiful. But alas, her love was in tears over a different mare. Will Spitfire ever catch a break? Maybe, just maybe. If she could only...

"You know what?" Spitfire declared, standing up from her consoling position on the floor with Soarin. Soarin looked up in question. "Who cares about Twilight? She broke your heart, you need to break her... face! You need to spend time with a mare who truly cares about you!" Like me! Like me! Like me! Like me!

Soarin stopped crying. He turned to look at Spitfire, almost asking if she had really said those words. He began to nod his head in agreement. "Yeah..." he started out slowly at first, but then built up to a more powerful, "Yeah! I should break her face! Who cares about Twilight?"

"Yeah! Get back at her!" With me!

"I will get back at her! By breaking her face!" Wait... "Tomorrow, I'm gonna go to her house, and show her why she shouldn't break a Wonderbolt's heart!" Wait... no... "I'm gonna show her a broken face! Her own!" What?... Soarin leaped up and bolted towards the door. Right before he left, he turned around and and said, "Thanks, Spitfire. I couldn't have done it without you." As he soared off into the night, Spitfire wailed in her own mind. No! You're supposed to get back at her with me! Noooooo!

Will Spitfire ever catch a break?

-

Soarin had just woken up from a particularly strange dream. He thought he say... no. It couldn't have been. That wouldn't make any sense. They had nothing in common. It was ludicrous to even think about it. No. Ew. He simply put the thought, the wretched dream, out of his mind and went to the fridge to get a carton of eggs. Yes. Perfect. This would look beautiful on Twilight's house.

He lobbed the eggs one at a time, trying to see how many it took to get Twilight's attention. Four. Five. Six. Surely not seven. When the seventh egg hit the wall, Spike saw a figure moving near the window. Finally, Twilight would show her face. Instead, he saw Spike open the window, and his heart jumped. In a way, Spike was just the dragon Soarin wanted to see.

He just didn't know why.

-

"No, I just want to have a word with her!"

"If you're gonna pick a fight, then fight me. I'll gladly protect Twilight any day."

"Fine! 6 o'clock! Tonight! Ponyville town hall!"

"Maybe I will!"

This was weird. He hadn't come here with the intention of fighting Spike. He hadn't come here with the intention to fight anyone at all. At the most he was going to throw an egg at Twilight's face. Max. Maybe two. Nothing more. Now he was going to duke it out with Spike? What?

-

No government today, because it's raining. The town hall stood emptily, a shell of what it normally is. Not a pony was in sight. Well, besides one lone pegasus standing in front of the main entrance of the town hall. Soarin didn't care how wet he became, he just stood there in the rain. His mane was just a big blue mop hanging over his eyes. He didn't care. He just stood there.

It was a minute to six. No sign of the dragon. Soarin's heart had been toyed with too much. If this dragon doesn't show, he'll go directly for Twilight. Or would he? He didn't really want to fight Spike, nor Twilight. They were really nice and stuff. Even Spike was... no. But Twilight was really nice about the whole breakup thing. She did seem like she felt sorry about it. Did he really need to do this? Still, maybe duking it out with Spike will show Twilight the error of her ways. Maybe.

He wasn't really sure.

-

Spike had finally woken up fully. For a long time he had stood there in the bedroom groggily wondering what to do. Now he had truly woken up, and he had some questions for himself. Firstly, what the heck was that dream about? Good thing it would never happen. It was just too weird. It was really weird. Spike was slightly relieved that it was over. Secondly, why the heck had he agreed to a duel with Soarin? He'd never gotten in a fight before. He'd never really been that angry with someone to challenge them to a fight. What was going on? Could it have been something to do with his dream... no. Ew. No. Gross. Stop.

Stop.

He was going to have to face Soarin at six o'clock, whether he liked it or not.

-

When the clock struck six, a purple figure appeared in one of the streets leading up to the town hall. A small baby dragon, Spike, slowly made his way towards Soarin. On the outside, he was calm, cool, collected, the three c's. On the inside, he was a nervous wreck about to break. He couldn't take on a Wonderbolt. No freakin way. There had to be some way out of this. His mind raced through possible escape plans as he finally met Soarin on the field of battle.

The rain pummeled them intensely. They stood facing each other dramatically as lightning struck behind them, silhouetting them in the evening. Soarin tossed his head about, causing his wet mane to send water flying everywhere. Spike ran his hand through his spikes, causing them to shoot back water when they recoiled. Both were thinking of ways to get out of this. Neither wanted to do this in reality. Both had had dreams. Strange dreams.

"You're going down!" Soarin cockily, and falsely for he truly did not feel that way, yelled. "I'm much bigger than you, and am much stronger! You can't win! Just give up!" Maybe just telling him to leave will get me out of this.

"I'm not leaving until you promise to stop harassing Twilight!" Spike yelled in retaliation. Please do. Please do. Please do.

Sweet! A way out! He pretended to think it over for a few moments before agreeing with, "Fine! I promise!"

Oh thank heavens! Spike sighed in relief. Wait, is he really going to stop harassing her? I'm not so sure... "How can I trust you?"

Oh shoot. This dragon was good. Too good. Too-. Ummm... "Uh..."

Dang it. I had to ask that, didn't I. Great, Spike. I can just say "I believe you, Soarin," and walk away, but then he might hurt Twilight. I can't let that happen. I have to help her. She's helped me so much... "Well then..." He hesitated before finishing his thought. "... I guess we'll just have to fight then!" Dang it.

Dang it, Soarin. You couldn't think of one thing to swear on? Come on. You don't really want to hurt this dragon, do you? "You're going down! Just you see!" I can't fight this dragon, can I? Surely not! I might kill him or something! I can't...

The two creatures screamed at one another. Thunder rolled in the distance as they began to charge, screaming at the top of their lungs. Nothing would be able to stop this fight now. Something bad was about to happen. Something bad always happens. It was only a matter of ti-

"STOP!" The voice rang out through the several streets and alleys that were directly adjacent to the town hall. The two opponents couldn't stop, even if they heard the voice. They slammed into each other just as Twilight, the owner of the voice who commanded them to stop, arrived. She had heard about the fight from a note Spike left at the library. She was kicking herself all the way over there for letting things get out of hand this way. And to neglect them at Rarity's house all night? Not cool, Twilight. Not cool.

She saw the horror of it all. The biting and clawing. The scratching and kicking. The wrapping and slamming. The crying and... laughing? Were they laughing? Twilight flew forwards to get a better look, and a better hear. They were.

Spike was pounding Soarin's back as Soarin was lightly trying to throw Spike off. Both were laughing hysterically at the very nature of the battle. Neither of them wanted to do it. Neither were in great pain. They were having fun. Like two siblings wrestling just for the heck of it, the two creatures, one pony and one dragon, were just having a bit of fun. Their intentions had started out as malicious, but they ended giddily.

After a while of this playful wrestling, they lay next to each other in the damp grass, smiling. Twilight, as confused as ever, stood over them. Her face was contorted into one of amusement and puzzlement. The two opponents, now friends, laughed together on the ground. Soarin even reached down and softly liked the forehead of Spike, causing him to blush.

Yes, all was well in Ponyville.

Author's Note

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

If you feel the above emotion, I feel you, man. I feel you.

What the heck is going on? Is the plot resolved? Is there seriously going to be another chapter? Why have the main characters suddenly been switched up? Is Twilight no longer important to the story? Licking? Dreams? Will Spitfire ever catch a break? What the heck is going on? For reals this time, find out the answer to all of these questions in the next and final chapter "6 - This?"

Epilogue - This?

Much of the next year was spent by Spike with Soarin. They were pretty much inseparable after the big event that brought them together, the big 'showdown'. Yes, they did spend some nights just wrestling. It was still just as fun as the first time. They were quickly best friends. It was almost magical, how quickly they grew to like each other.

Soarin would say for years on end after this that his breakup with Twilight was one of the best things to ever happen to him. Maybe this gives testament that some of the worst times of our life can lead to the best or something like that. I don't know. What do I know? I'm just the narrator. Oh right, I know what else happens after the events of this story. I'll get on that now.

Yes indeed, Spike and Soarin were best friends for many a month. Technically, they were best friends for a long time after that, but really that was just a technicality underneath the grander title. What was that grander title, you may ask? Well, it was husband.

Oh you heard me correctly, dear reader.

With each sporting event they went to, and they went to a lot of them, they would watch the other become really passionate about it. With each new thing they did, one of them, or sometimes both of them, would get really into it, much for the amusement and surprise of the other. It was really beautiful, really, watching the one you love slowly be amazingly adorable yelling at refs and soaring through the air on a certain pegasus' back. It was wonderful.

Twilight had been saying to the both of them that they would be really good friends, if given the chance. Well, they were given the chance, and they evolved much beyond that. Within a year was their engagement. A few months after that they were married. It was a beautiful wedding. Soarin's parents were in tears (for the right reasons). Beautiful.

You may be wondering, dear reader, how the heck they fell in love in the first place. Where was the line drawn? Well, silly reader, that last one sure was a stupid question. A drawn line in love? You can't just draw a line. It slowly grows and grows until it is just simply there, undeniable and true as the sun.

Though, the beginning of the fading could be stated as the first strange dream Spike had about Soarin. I'm sure you all remember it, readers. It was the one with Rarity and how for some reason Soarin was just standing on the bed? Yeah, that one. His mind was trying to tell him something important. Soarin + bed = good. Spike denied these ever-growing feelings in him outright. It was too weird.

Another big event was the morning right before the big battle. As I have already revealed they both had rather weird dreams. Well, they were about the other. This is where both Soarin and Spike really started thinking of the other in that way, romantically. It is what set the dominos in motion.

The last big event that I wrote about was the big battle. It was arguably the beginning of their beautiful relationship. Their wrestling, which was strictly amicable, was what let the other know that they were friends. They were buddies. They didn't want to hurt the other. Everything was going to be alright. Just the knowledge that they could have that much fun with the other got the dominos falling faster than ever. Their first kiss? Soarin's little lick of Spike's forehead right after they finished wrestling. It didn't seem like much at the time, but it meant the world to them.

Now, I won't go on describing in gross (in terms of sheer quantity, not revolting or disgusting) detail every aspect of their relationship, for who can perfectly capture love with words? It cannot be done. When you love someone, when you truly love someone, you feel words bubble up inside you that don't exist. No matter how vast the English language, no matter how strong of a vocabulary you may have, you will never be able to perfectly define your love or the subject of your love. It cannot be done. In a way that is what makes love so beautiful. It is the untranslatable language. You can't express it. You can only feel it. And they felt it.

They were in love, and there was nothing you can do about it.

Author's Note

Yes, this entire fic has been SoarinXSpike the entire time. *maniacal laughter in background*

This all originated from a tumblr thing where the object was to leave an ask in the user's (this time it was spookdreen's) inbox saying a ship and they would analyze it or something like that. I tried to think of the stupidest and weirdest one ever, and I came up with this one. Link to original post:
http://spookdreen.tumblr.com/post/61727149869/spike-and-soarin

Then a friend of that tumblr user said that they wanted to read a fic called "Wherever Soarin Goes". I immediately began crafting this masterpiece. It was going to be SoarinXSpike from the start, so I'm sorry if you're disappointed. Not really. I'm glad if you are.

You should be.

With this piece of fiction over, I am officially done with all MLP fanfiction. Thanks everyone, it's been real.

vale.

Puppo530