Discord writes a Fanfic

It was a warm, sunny day in Ponyville; the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and everything was right with the world.

What a bore.

Let's shake it up a bit, shall we? Instead of a warm, sunny day, let's make it a stormy day. Storms are my favorite. Oh wait, the pegasi control storms, don't they...? You know what? I don't care. My story, my rules. Call it artistic license.

Oh, that's right! How silly of me, I haven't introduced myself yet! I am the author of this delightful little tale, Discord, the spirit of chaos. And, since I am the spirit of chaos, after all, I've decided to have a little fun with my writing. You see, everything I write will come true; let's see what fun we can have.

Now where were we? Ah yes, stormy day, and what's a story without characters? Throw in some ponies! Egghead, Tomboy, Cowgirl, Marshmallow, Scaredy-cat, and Crazy. They'll do. Now then, they'll need a setting won't they? Let's keep it simple, at the library. But that isn't chaotic enough, let's put them in a tent, out in the woods. Oh yes, that'll do nicely.

So, the six ponies wake up in their tent. The storm is raging outside, and none of them have any idea what has just happened.

Oh bore, they're going to start talking, won't they? Eh, I'll let they story tell itself for a bit; we'll get to the fun stuff later.

Anywho, the six ponies wake up, and Twilight is obviously the first one to speak, "Where are we?" She asks obviously, rubbing her eyes and shaking her head. Oh Twilight, you're supposed to be the smart one here, if you have to ask your friends, you think they'll know any better than you do?

But anyway, her friends respond in a completely predictable and not fun in any way tone, "Ah don't know, Twi," That was Applejack, by the way, if you couldn't tell by my clever use of southern dialect.

"Ooh, my head hurts," Complained Rarity. Honestly, if it wasn't one thing with this pony, it was the other. She was my least favorite.

"I didn't know you were planning a storm today, Rainbow Dash," quietly observed Fluttershy as she stretched out her muscles from sleeping on the ground, feeling well rested. Yes, I am giving her special favor, why would I not? She fills my food bowl.

"I-I wasn't..." Stammered Rainbow Dash, struggling to remember the events of last night, of which there were none, which would explain why it would be so hard to remember them. "What are we doing in a tent? I don't remember going camping."

"Who cares?" Objected Pinkie Pie, grinning from ear to ear, "Surprise Sleepover Party!" Oh Pinkie, you are so random. You're my second favorite. Come to think of it, she was the only one who could enjoy my chaos...

"I don't know about this, girls," Twilight said, trying to make sense of the situation in her classic, boring way. "Look around you, we don't have any sleeping bags, or anything!"

Whoops, she's right! I forgot to write in some sleeping bags. Hang on, let me fix that.

The ponies were all safely cuddled in their favorite sleeping bags, cuddling their pillows.

"What the...?" Twilight asked, wondering why she was suddenly cuddling a pillow in a sleeping bag. But wasn't it warm, Twilight? Weren't you cozy? I was only trying to make your situation more comfortable, just go with it.

Wait a minute, my story, my rules! I can make her go with it.

Twilight simply shrugged and went with it, thinking she just hadn't noticed the sleeping bags before.

Hehehe.

"Ah've got a feelin' somethin's not right here..." Applejack mused, scratching her chin. Oh yeah, I had made Twilight go with it, but nopony else. Oh well, let her wonder.

It's getting boring, I don't like that. Suddenly, a brilliantly chaotic bolt of lighting struck somewhere in the forest, interrupting the calming rhythm of the rain. The sky lit up and the tent shook with the thunder, causing Applejack to flinch, Rarity to squeal, and Fluttershy to dive into her sleeping bag and start trembling.

Aww, don't be scared Fluttershy.

Fluttershy found a stuffed animal in the folds of her sleeping bag. She took it and cuddled it, calming down and smiling.

Good girl.

Twilight hadn't reacted, too deep in thought, "Hmm..." was all she said.

Pinkie Pie was talking Rainbow's ear off over there in the corner of the tent; Rainbow had her head buried in her pillow. I bet she was grateful for the pillows.

"Storms, lightning, and all of us waking up in a tent with no memory of how we got here..." Twilight mused, cuddling her pillow. Her brow suddenly furrowed and she frowned, "Discooooooord!" She yelled to nopony in particular.

Well it appears I have been found out. Oh well.

A rather handsome marble bust of my head appeared in the corner, wearing a devilish smirk, "Yes?" it asked the ponies.

"Discord!" Yelled Applejack, just catching on, "What in the sam hill do ya think yer doin'?"

The rest of the ponies nodded in agreement, except for Pinkie Pie, who was still talking her mouth off.

My bust smiled, "Oh you ponies are so boring, I'm just trying to have a little fun!"

"What sort of fun?" Asked Twilight, unamused by my hilarity.

"I'm writing a fanfiction, and you're all starring!" I announced proudly.

"A fanfiction?" Scoffed Rarity, who immediately fluffed her mane vainly, "You had better make me look good."

"What do you want from us, Discord?" Rainbow Dash asked confrontationally.

Gosh, these ponies! Always thinking I was up to something, couldn't I just be trying to have a little fun? But, I guess I do need a reason, I can't just keep them in my story forever with no purpose.

Alright, you ponies win. You want purpose? Fine. My handsome marble bust looked at each pony in the tent and said, "Alright, fine. I will let you ponies go if you answer my riddle. In the meantime, I get to do whatever I want in the story until you solve it. Oh, and everypony needs to know the answer, deal?"

"No!" Everypony said in unison.

"Too bad," My bust replied, "My story, my rules." And with that, the bust promptly vanished, being replaced by a scrap of paper with something scrawled on it.

Twilight took the paper and read aloud, "The poor have me; the rich need me; if you eat me, you will die; but I can never be touched. What am I?"

Simultaneously, the six ponies scratched their chins in thought.

Oooh, I'm already shaking in anticipation, I can't wait to see what happens next!

Oh wait, I get to decide.

Marvelous.