Life at the Mashes

by Karan Dash

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character
Length: 2194

Meet the Mashes, Sour, Turnip and their son Button, a modern gamer family.

Sour Mash met beautiful Turnip online and they started a relationship. After a few years, Turnip left her town to live with Sour in Fillycon Valley. Being tired of life in stablecules, they decided to move to a quiet house in the mountain near Ponyville and work from their home via the Internet.

Both Sour and Tulip are gamers, so it was not a surprise that when their child Button was born, he developed an obsession with video games.

Sour is a social butterfly and loves to be the center of attention. He achieves his goals in life by using his humor, his intelligence and his charisma. He loves to dance and go out as much as he loves to study and analyze. Turnip is as smart, but she prefers quiet and solitude. She's reserved and spiritual, and achieves her goals in life with her discipline, hard work, patience and wisdom. She enjoys meditating and walking in nature as much as she loves cooking and caring for her family.

Button is, well... Button.

Welcome to Life at the Mashes, the story of the life of the geekiest family in Equestria

Note: Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm going to finish this. It needs a lot of editing and I don't know where to take it, really. If I finish it, it'll be a long time before I do and it'll be just one more chapter from the point of view of Button.

Published 2013-09-21 14:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-21 14:40:02 UTC

Chapter 2: Sour and Button's New Video Game

"Ah, when did you get to be so good? Last time I remember you were barely able to hold a controller for more than 5 minutes before your hooves felt tired.”

Button doesn't seem fazed by my teasing. I guess I'll just have to improve my playing technique and beat him with actual skill. It used to be so easy to leave him in the dust but I think there's a chance that he beats me at this game. Dammit.

“You're just saying that because you can't keep up. Are you becoming a sore loser, loser?”

“We'll see who's the loser when you lose and become the loser.”

“All talk and no bark makes Sour a sour pony.”

“Despite his name, Button can't press the buttons.” Ok, that was lame, which he quickly points out to me. But I can only dedicate a small part of my brain to create witty comebacks because I'm actually realizing I'm going to lose this game if I don't play it seriously.

“What are my two favorite boys doing?” says a sweet voice behind me.

I turn around to look at Turnip so that I can use her interruption as an excuse for losing the game, but after a few seconds the pretense gives way for a genuine desire to look at her.

God, she's gorgeous. She's not a young filly anymore, but somehow her air of maturity makes her as attractive as the first day I held her, if not more. And then there's the flanks. I could lose myself in those flanks and never go back.

“Oh, it's that new game that you bought for Button in Fillycon Valley, what's it called?” she asks.

“Stallion Fighter 5.2, No Reins” answers Button and looks as proud as if he had been the only student in the class who had been able to answer the teacher's question.

“As if you didn't know it already” I tease Turnip. “Button has told me that you've gotten quite good at it.”

“Oh, it's not so much the game. I love spending time with Button, so I would enjoy pretty much any game he's playing.”

“Which character did you play as?”

“The only mare in the game. Geez, you'd think a game with 23 characters would have at least more than one mare character. What is this, the Schtroumpf Village?

“Well hon, the game IS called Stallion Fighter”

“Stallion Fighter 5.2, No Reins, not Stallion Fighter. Are you losing your mojo, dear?”

I can hear that Button is punishing my immobile character with a gazillion hit combo.

“Hey, I'm the only one that's allowed to make that kind of jokes around here.” I tell Turnip, forgetting momentarily about Button.

“That was before you lost your mojo.”

It turns me on so much when she outwits me, but I'd rather lose my collection of Teenage Mutant Ninja Dragons before admitting it. I quickly daydream about giving Button a few bits and ask him to go to the movies with his friends.

“What was the name of that character anyway?” She says changing the subject. I know in my heart that she doesn't care about the name, but that she's giving me a way out of looking embarrassingly outwitted.

“Lightning Hooves” I answer, appreciating internally the gesture.

“Lightning Hooves?”

“Yes”

“You're kidding me.”

“I kid you not.”

“You're telling me that the character whose special power is kicking so fast that her hooves get blurry is called Lightning Hooves?”

“Yes”

“And what's the name of the character that Button uses? The one that can't be slowed down if you hit it with normal attacks?”

“Hard Shell”

“NO!”

“Yes”

“I can't believe it! Why don't they just call it Normal-Attacks-Don't-Work-On-This-Guy Guy?”

“I guess that was too long to fit on the character select screen”

“Ok, so the mare who kicks fast is called Lightning Hooves and the stallion with super defense is called Hard Shell?”

“Yep”

“And is the character that throws energy balls called Energy-Ball-Thrower by any chance?”

“Well, if you put it that way, it does sound a bit silly.”

“Ha, ha, ha, ha, this is hilarious.” She says as she takes out her phone.

“Who are you calling?”

“Nopony, I'm posting this on my ponyhoof wall. The girls will find this ridiculously funny.”

“C'mon hon, it's not THAT funny.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No, it's not.”

“I bet you there'll be somepony who hoofbumps it.”

“I don't think so.”

“There, it's posted. We'll see.”

“Nopony will hoofbump it.”

“No?”

“No”

“It's got 5 hoofbumps already.”

“Really? From whom?”

“Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Lyra Heartstrings, Rarity and Mrs. Cake.”

I turn around to find Button smiling gleefully at me. He's obviously been waiting for me to see his character standing up in victory pose with his hoof over the chest of my defeated character.

I hear Turnip walking away, still giggling.

I still don't think it's funny.

Chapter 1: Turnip's Day Off

"Mmmmmmmm.....”

I feel the sunlight blinding me slightly under my eyelids, but it doesn't bother me. I feel relaxed after having a good night sleep. It's not usual for me to have a free night, and what do I do with it? Sleep early of course. I'm not Sour, I need to sleep and recharge every day.

I turn on my left side and reach out my hoof instinctively. I want to hug him, but then I realize Sour is not here today and that makes me open my eyes. I miss his presence, his warmth, but specially his male energy.

Sour is different from me. He has to travel to Fillycon Valley often, far away from our house in the small town where we live. He's attracted to the neon lights of the night life like a moth to a candle. He enjoys showing off his knowledge and his wit in front of other ponies when he gives classes, and then going out with his pals and have a drink. I don't mind. When he's here, he's my personal teacher and comedian.

I get up and put my rob on. I sit and comb my mane, slowly, calmly. Today there aren't going to be any rushes. It's Saturday, so Button doesn't have to go to school. He stayed up late playing video games, thinking I didn't noticed. I just pretended I didn't. There was no point in fighting it and frankly, I appreciated having a nanny so I could go to bed and sleep like a rock, even if the nanny is a PonyStation.

“45, 46, 47...”

I catch myself counting out loud my brush strokes and I can't help but giggle at how my discipline gets the best of me. If Sour were here, he'd probably make fun of me and remind me how obsessive I can be with habits, even when they're not needed. But he's not here, so I do it for him and just close my eyes and focus on how good and relaxing the comb feels as it goes through my mane. We never close the curtains, so I can see the branches of the trees moving and hear the morning music of the birds being grateful for a beautiful morning.

I stand quietly and look out the window. What shall I do today? It's been so long since I've had a day that wasn't full of chores that I'm a bit overwhelmed by the nothingness of the day. Should I read a book? Should I play the piano? Should I write a story? The day seems so full of possibilities, of wonderful things that I almost never get to do, but ironically, the most attractive thing to do right now is to do nothing. Button will go spend the day at a friend's house, so aside from fixing him breakfast, the day and the house are all mine.

I decide it would be better if I just get that done and then forget about Button. I adore him like I adore Sour, but he's a handful and he can get on my nerves sometimes, just like Sour.

As I walk down the stairs, I realize it's not that that early. The sun is high, maybe 10 AM? There's no noise outside which means the neighbors have already left for work. I'm so glad I work at home. I don't think I could spend one more day of my life in a stablecule. And it's definitely more satisfying to have clients than to have a boss.

There I go again, I say to myself as I giggle when I realize I'm thinking about work on my first free day in ages. “Do you have an allergy to fun?” Yep, that's exactly what Sour would say.

Darn it, he's been gone for only one day and I'm already missing him.

Oh well, here's the kitchen. To prove the imaginary Sour that's by my side that I do know how to have fun, I'm going to prepare his favorite breakfast: pancakes. And the real Sour won't have any. Serves him right for going away and leave me alone in this big..... actually very nice and clean house.

I must admit he did a good job before leaving, for once arranging his stuff and putting it away, even cleaning the kitchen. Then again, the night before he left he stayed up late with Button playing video games until very late, so he was making up for it.

I don't mind doing all the cooking. I love to cook and to have two “patrons” who always appreciate my cooking. Well, I do get upset when Sour pokes his food around and examines it like I tried to poison him. I know he does it to tease me but it still gets me, which I guess it's the point. Button tried to do it once, but he now knows better than to try it again. Geez, you'd think the actual child would be the one who'd misbehave at the table.

I open the fridge and get the eggs. I love the amazing color of these yolks, like a sun was somehow trapped inside a fragile shell. We really made the right decision by moving here. The food is healthier, the air is cleaner, the ponies are kin....

“What the...?”

I recognize that sound, but no, it can't be! It's 10 AM in the morning, dammit! He didn't... He couldn't...

I run to Button's room and knock hard on the door.

“BUTTON! OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT NOW!”

No answer, but I can hear the typing and clicking. I guess any mother would find it impossible to hear those sounds through a door, but then again, I'm not just anyone's mother. I'm Button's mother.

No answer. He must be in the zone. I have no other choice than to use my key to open the door myself.

As I suspected, Button is sitting at his computer, with his headphones on, clicking on the mouse like his life depended on it.

“BUTTON! LISTEN TO ME! DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?”

“Ah? Wha...? Where..? Mom...?” he mumbles as he half-turns his head towards me, still clicking on his mouse.

“Button, have you been playing all nig... STOP PLAYING THIS INSTANT AND LOOK AT ME!”

“But moooooooom!”

“No buts young man.” So much for my relaxing day. I walk to him and remove his headphones with my mouth and place them on his desk. “It's ok to stay up a bit late to play video games on a Friday night. It's not ok to spend THE WHOLE NIGHT playing video games. It's 10 AM for Celestia's sake! You have been playing for over 14 hours. You have to stop right now and get some sleep.”

“But Mom, I'm so close to finish researching power wings, which will allow Equestria to produce wonderbolts and attack the Cristal Kingdom before they finish the Canterlot Castle wonder which will give their cities extra defense and protect their libraries which are producing twice as much magic per turn and which will eventually lead them into a Magical Conquest victory!”

I wish I could say that I didn't understand a word that he said, like a normal mom, but I do. It doesn't matter.

“I don't care if you lose your game, you're going to be....”

I turn my attention to the headphones on the desk. There's a voice talking, a voice I know very well.

I put the headphones on and I can now understand the words.

“Ohhhh, you stopped playing. Where are you now? Did you just realize you can't beat me? Or maybe you ran to cry with your mommy?”

“This is mommy. Sour, go to bed. We WILL talk about this when you get home.”

“Oh, hi hon, I was just... ha, ha,... sure, see you in a few days. You know you're the most adorable and beautiful pony I know?”

“Go to bed Sour.”

“I love you. Don't be mad, you don't look as pretty when you frown. Bye.”

By the time I turn around, Button is in bed, already fast asleep.

Relaxing morning indeed.