Subject #1354-A
Name: Unknown
Species: Equus hendricksii
Observations: Test subject appears to be of equine descent. It also appears to be sentient. We are testing the reactions of this subject to total isolation. The results should be interesting. I will be taking notes on its behavior during the experiment. Hopefully we can learn about this species so we can have a better understanding of them. If the subject remains sane at the end of this experiment, we will perform further testing.
I wake up startled. My Pinkie Sense is telling me something isn’t right.
The first thing I notice was that my bed doesn’t feel right. It’s all hard and cold. The next thing I notice once I open my eyes is it’s really dark. And quiet. Where’s the cute snoring of the twins sleeping? Or the slight muttering Mr. Cake makes? I look around and all the light I can see is from a small slit of a window high up on one wall. I try to reach it to see what’s out there, but it’s too high for me. The light from it falls on a small door with two bowls in front of it. One has water in it, and the other has some small greenish brown pellets in it. I yell out but I get no response. Where am I? Did I break a law and get sent to the dungeon? No, that can’t be, they would have told me what I did. I yell again. Still no response. I sit down and start to cry. What’s happening, where are my friends? My friends! They will wonder where I went and come save me! Princess Twilight will have every guard in Equestria looking for me.
As I think, I wander over to the bowls. I sniff the strange pellets. I recognize the smell. They smell just like the food that Fluttershy feeds her small animals. Did Fluttershy do this? No, she wouldn’t hurt anypony. But who else buys food for small animals? And who would try to feed it to ponies? But I am thirsty. But there isn’t a glass to put the water in. I can’t move the bowl off of the tray, or move the tray. I dip my muzzle in the bowl and drink what I can.
After that, I sit back and take a detailed look at my surroundings. Firstly, it’s too quiet. Secondly, it’s too dark. Thirdly, what light is coming through the window looks odd. It’s too white to be from the sun. And it’s not warm at all. Fourthly, the air smells strange, like a hospital. And it’s slightly cold. Am I in a hospital? But, if I was in a hospital, wouldn’t a nurse have come when I yelled? Nothing makes sense here. Maybe it’s a strange themed surprise party? Like how I like to throw fancy themed parties for Rarity. But what kind of theme would this be? Hospital themed? Who would want a hospital themed party? I scream, all this is making my head hurt. Maybe if I scream somepony will come let me out. I keep screaming. And keep screaming. But nopony comes. I start crying again. Why will nopony come let me out? I just want to know what’s happening. I have no idea how long it’s been since I woke up, but I feel tired. I lay down near the tray and bowls and cry myself to sleep.
Observers note:
The subject seems to be reacting badly to the situation. Much worse than we thought. I feel sorry for it in a way, but this is for science. We must know more about their reactions to stress before we can make further use of their species. It’s only been sixteen hours and it appears to have started to have a mental breakdown. I will continue to observe its actions.
I wake up again, screaming. I thought this was a bad dream. I’m so confused. I yell out a demand to know what’s happening, but there’s no answer. Then I notice the water bowl is full again. Somepony refilled it, so they know I’m here. But why won’t they talk to me!? I don’t like to be angry, but I definitely am now. I start bucking the wall around the small door. If I make enough noise, somepony will come. Somepony has to come, don’t they?
But if somepony knows I’m here, why would keep me here? None of this is making sense. I know my friends think I don’t make sense sometimes, but this is much worse than that.
The room I’m in makes no sense either. Why is it so dark? And so quiet? I hate this. I have never felt hate before, and I don’t like it. But I don’t like this either. I’m starting to get hungry. I go sniff the food pellets.The food pellets smell pretty bad, but... well, it's the only food I've got here. I need to eat so I can calm down a bit, think of a way out. I take one of them and place it in my mouth. It tastes horrible. I chew it, and it tastes worse. But I’m so hungry, I swallow it and reach for more. They taste just as bad. After a few handfuls, my tummy stops hurting. I go to sit in a corner and wait for my friends to come rescue me. I just know they’ll break in here and save me any second.
I play some mental games to pass the time. First, I try to make up funny words, but I can’t think of any fun ones in this room. I try playing tic tac toe with myself, but I keep forgetting where I am in the game. I try to remember nursery rhymes from my foalhood, but again, I keep thinking about this room. How long will I be here? Why am I here? Who put me in here? Where is here? Why won’t they answer me? The more I think about it, the angrier I get. I start to try to jump up to the window, hoping to get somepony’s attention, but I just can’t reach it. I try feeling around the walls, trying to find a door large enough for a pony, but find nothing. I start randomly bucking the walls, trying to find a weak spot. Nothing again. Whatever this room is, it’s meant to keep a pony inside of it. Who would even build a room with no door? And how did I get in here if there is no door? This confusion only makes me madder.
I scream again. Why can nopony hear me? Or can they hear me and don’t care? What if they don’t care that I’m in here? What if they want to keep me in here? But why would they? Do they want something from me? If they did, all they had to do is ask. I try to help anypony who asks. And a few who don’t. Maybe somepony is mad at me for something. I yell out an apology, even if I don’t remember doing anything wrong. Or I don’t think I did. I sit down and try to remember everything that happened in the weeks before I got here. Nothing wrong comes to mind. A few fun parties, serving sweets at Sugarcube Corner, but nothing bad. Nopony was angry with me. I miss everyone. I want to go home.
Observers note:
Subject’s mental state continues to deteriorate. If this continues, I doubt it will remain sane for more than four more days. It’s interesting to watch another being descend into total insanity. It’s a morbid fascination, but it will yield results that can be used to help humans going through the same symptoms. However it does limit the uses of this species to us.
I wake up again, still in the room. Somepony refilled both bowls while I was sleeping. Why do they do that while I’m asleep? Why won’t they just tell me what’s going on? I miss the Cakes and Gummy and my friends. I would give up parties forever if I could just go home. Pinkie promise. I’m not sure what I did to end up here, but I’m very sorry. I sit in the corner and cry. Maybe I deserve this. Maybe I had too much fun with the parties and my friends. I guess we’re only allowed to have so much fun in life, and I used all of mine up. I’m not angry anymore, just sad. I wish I could have said goodbye to my friends. I would have gone willingly if they had just let me say goodbye.
I let my mind go blank as I feel my mane and tail straighten. I’ll never see any of them again. My whole life is now nothing but this dark, quiet room. Nopony would have put me here if I didn’t deserve to be here. That’s all that makes sense to me now. I’m tired of trying to put the rest of the pieces together. Wait, I have an idea! If I stay awake, then I’ll see who puts new water and food in here! Then I can ask them why I’m here. But how will I stay awake? I know, I can think about the books Twilight let me read. Maybe work on ideas for books I can write myself. If the pony who changes my food and water will let me, I can have some pencils and paper, so I can. Then I could write books about parties and warn ponies not to have too much fun. That way nopony has to live the rest of their lives in a room like this. But what if they want ponies to be in these rooms? And who runs these rooms? It can’t be Celestia or Luna, they would never do anything to hurt ponies. Maybe Discord went evil again and captured all of my friends? Thats it! That’s why nopony has come for me! Discord has captured them all. Maybe even the princesses too. I have to stay up and see who’s bringing the food and water. I start to count how many parties I’ve thrown to pass the time. I try to count how many cupcakes I’ve eaten. I try to count everything I can think of.
Observers note:
Subject is attempting to hold onto its sanity, but it appears to be having little luck. If this is indicative of its entire species, I do not believe we will be able to use them for our purposes. My superiors will not be pleased. We had hoped for better results with our first test subject.
I wake up, not even remembering when I fell asleep. I see the food and water bowls are full again. I just couldn’t stay awake long enough. I guess I can’t do anything right. Maybe thats why I’m here. To protect my friends from me. I always meant well, but somehow I always screw up. It’s better that I’m locked away, so I can’t hurt anypony. My friends probably put me in here. They didn’t like that I just had fun and didn’t do any work. And now I have to pay for it. I go sit in the corner and cry more. I don’t want to be a burden, so I’ll just not eat or drink, so they don’t have to refill the bowls. They did so much for me, and I didn’t do anything for them. Just take, take, take. I don’t want to be a burden on my friends anymore. I wish I could just will myself to pass away. But I can’t, so I have to end it slowly. I just hope I’m not too much of a burden once I die. I sit in the corner and cry, pulling myself into a ball. I just want it to end. I remain like this a long time before I fall asleep.
Observers note:
Subject appears to have gone catatonic. This does not bode well for our experiment. My superiors are suggesting terminating the project and the subject. I have convinced them to give three more days for more concrete evidence of mental breakdown, though I hold little hope of the subject surviving until then.
I don’t know how or why I woke up this time, but here I am still. I don’t know how long it takes for a pony to die of lack of food and water, but it’s already too long. But when I open my eyes, I see something I never thought I’d see again. Rainbow Dash is sleeping right next to me! Why is she here? Did the others get tired of her too? I stir and she wakes up too. I’m so stunned, I can’t even speak! Rainbow looks at me and asks “What’s wrong Pinkie?”
I can’t believe my ears! I haven’t heard a sound except for my own voice in so long, it’s strange. Rainbow looks at me and asks “Pinkie, are you okay?”
I have to answer, I have to ask why she’s here. “Dashie, how did you get here?”
“What are you talking about, you asked me here for a sleepover.”
“I mean, how did you get in this room?”
“You opened the door.” Dash looks confused. And I feel confused.
“I’ve been locked in this room for I don’t know how long. How could I open the door for you?”
“Pinkie, are you sure you didn’t fall off the bed and hit your head?”
“What do you mean?”
“We’re in your bedroom. There is your bed” she points to where we were sleeping, “And there is your bedroom door” she points to the door where the bowls are.
“But we’re in a dark room with no door.”
“Pinkie, do I need to take you to see a doctor?”
“But Dashie, don’t you see the room?”
“Pinkie, all I see is your bedroom, the same one I’ve been in a thousand times.”
“But we’re not in my room.”
“Pinkie, I think you're seeing things. Let me take you to see a doctor.”
“But I’m not, I’ve been in here for a while.”
“Pinkie, let’s go to the hospital. Something is wrong with you.”
I think for a moment. It makes sense. I’ve gone crazy and only imagined the whole thing. “I think that’s a good idea Dashie. I don’t think my mind is okay right now.” I start to follow her, but then she just walks through the wall above the bowls. And she’s gone. I try to follow her, but I can’t. What’s going on here? Did I imagine the room, or did I imagine Dashie? I’m so confused right now, more than when I first got here. I sit in front of the bowls and stare at them, unable to think. I lose track of how long it’s been since Dash was here, or was she here? Am I in a dark room, or am I at home, thinking I’m in a dark room? As I think about it, I doze off.
Observers note:
Subject has appeared to have begun hallucinating. I’m guessing this ‘Dashie’ is a friend or lover of the subject. This indicates that a full breakdown of the subjects mind is most likely imminent. I will give this one more day and if the subject does not improve, I will terminate the experiment. This will mean a cut in funding, but if the next subject does well we may be able to recover.
I wake up again. And as I open my eyes, I see not only Dashie, but Fluttershy as well! I try to reach for them, but something is in the way. As I look, I see my blanket. I look around more and see I’m in my bed! How did my bed get here? I’m still in the dark room. I scream, nothing makes any sense anymore! Dash and Fluttershy wake up startled. Fluttershy rushes to me and hugs me, whispering calming words in my ear. Dash rushes over too, but holds her distance. Dash looks me in the eye and says “Pinkie, something’s wrong with your mind. I’m going to leave Fluttershy here while I go get the doctor. Just stay here, don’t go running off like you did yesterday.”
“But I didn’t run off yesterday. You went through the wall and I couldn’t follow you.”
“Pinkie, you followed me half way to the hospital and all of a sudden ran away. I saw it with my own two eyes.”
“But I didn’t Dashie. I know I didn’t. I don’t know what’s going on, but I just want out of this room.”
“But you left yesterday. Don’t you remember?”
“No, I don’t. All I remember is being in here. You were here yesterday, but you left through the wall.”
“That makes no sense Pinkie. How do you expect me to walk through a wall?”
I start to cry. Why doesn’t she believe me? Maybe it did happen how she said, and I’m just losing my mind. “Please get help for me.” I cry.
“I’ll be back in a dash. Shy, keep her calm while I’m gone.” And with that Dash flew through the wall with the window. How did she do that? I turn to Fluttershy and say “What’s wrong with me?”
“We don’t know yet. But the nice doctors will find out and make you better.”
Her voice sounds so calming. I know I’m safe from the room now. Nothing can hurt me when my friends are with me. As I cry into Fluttershy’s mane, I notice the walls changing. Turning pink. What’s going on? Slowly my room forms around me. Was it all a dream? If it was, it was the worst nightmare I’ve ever had. The twins crawl into the room and show that they want up on the bed. Where’s Fluttershy? She was just here. No matter, I have to take care of the twins. I pick them up and carry them downstairs. My friends are there. Where’s the doctor? I don’t see one. I ask Dashie “Where’s the doctor?”
“What doctor? Is something wrong with the foals?”
“I’m... not sure.” I check them, but everything looks fine. “They seem okay.”
“Then why did you ask about a doctor? Are you okay?”
I try to think of why I’d need one, but I can’t remember. I feel fine, better than I have in days. That nightmare must have been messing with my mind. “I’m ok. I just thought I remembered you saying you were going to get a doctor. I must be going loco in the coco.”
Observers note:
Subject has had a full mental collapse. It has no recognition of the world around it, instead some other world it has created for itself. Based on this I have terminated the experiment. Being as the subject no longer has any use to us in this state, I have ordered it’s disposal. I’m hopeful that the next subject will yield better results.
Dr. Malcolm Hendricks
