I am Kratos.

Chapter 10:Spidey's mistake and a new story

"Look,Spidey.I'm going to take a dump.DON'T touch my bag."Chuck Norris said to Spiderman who made a troll face.Chuck Norris then went into the bushes for some shittin'.

"Lawl,what is this?"Spiderman pulled out a golden revolver out of Chuck's bag.He fired it at the ground and a portal formed."Lawl,lets fuck around!"Spiderman took out a small ball out of the bag and jumped into the portal.

                                        ~oOo~

"Lawl where am I?"Spiderman looked around the castle.Kent somehow was walking nearby him when he noticed him."Oh hell no!"He panicked.

"Eh?"Kent looked at him."I know you!Your'e Spiderman!"

Without hesitating,Spiderman throwed the ball at Kent's head.The ball formed into a guy that looks like Kent.

"Lawl,wrong weapon!"Spiderman pulled the gold revolver out of his non-existence pocket and fired it at Kent's clone.He dissapeared into dusts.At the meanwhile,the impact made the original Kent fainted.

                                            ~oOo~

The clone Kent lied on the ground in the middle of the forest.

"Where the fuck am I?"He looked around.

'Just calm down....'

"Who the fuck are you?"He yelled.

'Ugh...I'm Claymore and that's all you need to know.'

                                              ~oOo~

Okay...Where is Ares?

'Well,he's reading at my collection of porns.'

Since when does he like po-....

Silence!!!

Okay....

I walked through the dirt path,wondering about how did I get here.All I remember was being at Earth and poof,I'm here.In the forest...with this two perverts inside my fuckin' head.

'I can't say no to that :D'

I'll kill both of you if you continue this talk!!!

Shit!Okay!And I thought that we're suppose to be brothers...

Bah!In your dream!

I heard footsteps far in front of me.I went to see who it was.I saw a guy,seems like a human and two girls.They have bright coloured furs.I also noticed that they have wings.

Where are they taking him?I wondered.

The blue one seems to be hitting on him,trying so hart to get his attention.While the yellow one seems too shy that she hid under her long pink hair.

I'd better go follow them.

                                                   ~oOo~

Back at the Original Kent.

"Shit...my head..."I examined the area around me."Where's Spidey?"

From the spot I was sitting,I heard some slapping sounds behind me.A western dressed guy is standing behind me,slapping Spiderman's face over and over again.

"Did ah told you not to touch my bag!?"The guy finished his slap with a painful punch on the face.

"Glhlghglglglg.....Y-...yes..."Spiderman had blood coming out of his mask.

"Now apologise to that guy!"The man pointed at me.Which I responded by tilting my head.

"Sorry....ghglhkglglglllg...."Spiderman coughed more blood.

The cowboy pulled a golden revolver out of his hip colster and shot it at the palace's wall.Which formed into a blue portal.Before he could enter the portal with Spidey on his shoulder.I called him.

"Wait!"I said in a loud voice.

"What is it,young god?"He seems to know who I am.

"Who are you?"I asked.

"Me?I'm Chuck Noris!Yeehaw!!!"He jumped into the portal and it shrunk into dusts.

After hearing the name,I fainted again

                                           ~oOo~

Stalking may be wrong,but I'm doing this for the sake of my life.Following the trio into a town full of colourful people.I had to hide under wagons,behind buildings and also dressed as a bush to follow them.After a few minutes,they arrived at a huge tree/house thing.After that blue girl knocked the door.I heard a squeal from inside and the guy was floating in the air.A purple girl came to him,examining him like he's an alien.

To see the scene,I had to peek through a building to hear their conversation.I heard many shits from their fucking mouth.Suddenly,the guy fell on the ground with a painful thud.He said something about not to be called and 'it'.

"You can talk!!?"The horned purple one asked with a suprised face.

"Yes, I can talk because I have a mouth, right?"He said,standing up and patted off the dirt of him.Dumbly grinning at her.

"That doesn't even make any sense! Of course, you have a mouth to talk and- Okay, we are off topic here." She walked towards him and grabbed him by the t-shirt. "Tell me, what you are now!" she yelled angrily.

"No..."He deadpanned.I shook my head at what he just said.

"What do you mean 'no'?"She growled.

"Because I want this conversation about my kind to be private. And because," He gestured my thumb behind him and Twilight looked to where he was pointing.The townsfolk was staring at them, half of them were looking at me with the same curiosity of the purple one.Smiled and laughed nervously as she dragged the trio inside the tree/house, slamming the door shut and locking it with a loud *CLUNK!*.

Ah fuck.Now how am I suppose to hear them!?

I noticed there's a window beside the building,I decide to spy them.Peeking through the window,I saw the purple tiger speaking to the guy with a loud voice.

"Okay," She started, walking towards me. "Who are you? And what are you?" Questioned the feisty-grape in a stern tone.

"One second. Fluttershy?"The yellow turned to him.So Fluttershy's her name?Funny. "How many are your friends?"He asked.

"F-five..."She stammered,this girl is sure very shy.

He nodded. "So that makes six peo- I mean, ponies." He quickly corrected.So this colour people are ponies?Welp,right time I went nuts. "So I think it might be good to round them up here because I don't want to repeat and explain too much or my brain would hurt himself. Well, if it's alright for you three."He told them, earning two nods; except one.

"And why should WE round up our friends? Are you planning on doing something to us, hm?"That purple bitch harshly said to him as she crossed her arms.

"What? No, no I don't plan on doing anything to you girls. AND. I don't want anyone-"

"The plural is ‘anypony’."Purple bitch corrected him.

He sighed. "Okay, let me rephrase that. I don't want anypony to get hurt. And neither all of you doing the same thing to me."He said, gesturing himself with his thumb.

"*sigh*...Alright. Rainbow, you'll go get Applejack."The blue one named 'Rainbow' saluted and flies out of the window.

"Fluttershy, you go get Pinkie." Fluttershy nodded and flies out of the same window.

"I'll get Rarity myself. And... I'm sorry what's your name by the way?" She said to him,fake smilling.

"Name's Aldrin, Aldrin Vanjové."He responded.

Her smile vanished and replaced by a menacing one. "Listen closely Aldrin. You stay here and DON'T do anything stupid while we're gone, or else I'll let my friend Rainbow lift you up to the sky and drop you dead; capisce?!" She hissed.

"I won’t! I won’t! Geez!"He said defensively, raising both his hand.

"Alright then! We'll be back a minute and then you will tell us, alright?"She said with a smile as she unlocked the door and ran outside, shutting the door behind her.If I were him,I would've punched her in the face and chanted 'Taste the Rainbow!'

He had his time,seemingly talking to his brain mentally.He then let out a huge sigh and sat on a stool massaging his head.

He complained about how messy the place was and distracted when he saw a computer on a desk.So these ponies have technologies,eh?Cool...

Through the window,I could see another a mint green girl stalking him from the window at the kitchen.

"Human..."she said with a creepy tone.

"What?Show yourself!!!"He yelled,but later his face went pale as he saw her.

"Human!!!"She jumped through the window and tackled him.

"Oh no you don't!"I said as I elbowed the window and easily broke it.I jumped inside and saw her sitting on top of him.

"I want you..."She said with a lustful voice.

"Oh my God!!!!"He screamed in a high pitch