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                        Derpy Mail                         
                    -by Angelic Waffle-                    
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Dear Octavia,
Hi, it's Derpy Hooves here!
About that last package... Well, I just don't know what went wrong! Honest! But, as our policy says: 'NO REFUNDS' I'm very very sorry!
-From Derpy!
Dearest Derpy,
I am aware of your policy, and I am not asking for a refund. However, I do want what I paid for. Do you realise that I need that instrument to play at the Grand Galloping Gala? I cannot trot onto stage with such a cello in hand! This is a formal event, not one of Pinkie Pie's parties!
~Best Regards, Octavia
Dear Octavia,
Yeah, I guess you are right, but I can't get the right cello back! It's probably in the town hall or in Canterlot by now! My schedule is strict, being an independent company and all... But I promise Derpy Mail doesn't always mess up! Plus, a pink cello with green polka dots isn't that bad! You sound awesome no matter what! Please accept my apologies!
-From Derpy
Dear Derpy,
Have you seen it? It burns my eyes to look at it, the magenta clashes with the lime in the most awful of ways! If I play this, I'll blind somepony! Just, replace it! I need it replaced! Out of my sight even! Take it away!
~Best Regards, Octavia
Hey D.H.,
Sup? Octy's super P.O.ed we just really need this thing gone, I wouldn't even play it! Could ya pick it up sometime?
Thanks: Vinyl Scratch
Dear Octavia & Vinyl Scratch,
Ok, ok, I'll pick it up. I hope this wasn't too much trouble. As compensation I'll give you guys a present!
-From Derpy
Dearest Derpy,
Thankyou. A gift isn't necessary, but I will accept your offer.
~Best Regards, Octavia
Hey D.H.,
That's wicked cool! I hope it's something awesome!
Thanks: Vinyl Scratch
Dearest Derpy,
OH MY CELESTIA! THAT'S NO PRESENT IT'S A NIGHTMARE! TAKE IT AWAY!!!!! AGHHHHH!
~Best Regards, Octavia
Hey D.H.,
I got a feeling that Octavia doesn't like rats, too bad though, I've always wanted a pet rat. I called him Charles.
Thanks: Vinyl Scratch
Dear Octavia,
Could at least give Charles a shot? He's a nice rat, I promise.
-From Derpy
Dearest Derpy,
IT'S DROPPINGS ARE EVERYWHERE! AGHHH! IT'S EATEN ALL OUR FOOD! NO MORE! VINYL'S HAD HER FUN WITH IT, NOW IT HAS TO GO!
~Best Regards, Octavia
Hey D.H.,
Don't listen to Octavia, I want to keep it.
Thanks: Vinyl Scratch
Dear Octavia,
I don't know what to do! Charles is super nice, polite and kind, he's a great pet. I'll get you a cage for him if you want. Also Vinyl says she wants to keep it!
-From Derpy
Dearest Derpy,
VINYL DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS! AND I SWEAR SHE WANTS A HAPPY CALM LIFE!
~Best Regards, Octavia
Hey, D.H.,
Pssst... Octavia is lying!
Thanks: Vinyl Scratch
Dear Octavia & Vinyl Scratch,
I have bought Charles a cage, it'll arrive at your house soon!
-From Derpy
Hey D.H.,
Thanks for the cage, Charles is lovin' it! Even better, Octy's alright with him as long as he stays in my room. Oh and get this: When I play my dubstep he bops his head to the beat! I think I'll give him a stage name... What do ya think?
Thanks: Vinyl Scratch
Dear Vinyl Scratch,
I think he should be DJ-R4T that sounds cute!
-From Derpy
Dearest Derpy,
I am grateful for you getting that cage, I really am, however now, Vinyl's dressing the poor thing in shades and 'Gangster' clothing. She says it's because he's "DJ-R4T the best DJ rat in Equestria" but I'm not so sure.
Also, can you order me another cello?
~Best Regards, Octavia
Hey D.H.,
Could you order a mini DJ set?
Oh and an Everfree Siren Parrot, I got an idea!
Thanks: Vinyl Scratch
Dear Octavia and Vinyl Scratch,
Both of your purchases have been notified of, and they are on their way!
-From Derpy
Dearest Derpy,
Thank-you for the new cello, I appreciate it a lot, but could you tell me what Vinyl ordered? She's in her room right now, giggling! I think she's up to something!
-Best Regards, Octavia
Hey D.H.,
Don't tell Octy anything! Got it?
Thanks: Vinyl Scratch
Dear Vinyl Scratch,
Okey dokey!
-From Derpy
Dearest Derpy,
I am happy you didn't tell, Vinyl's surprise would have been ruined. She got me the most beautiful bird, with such an enchanting song. She called Harmony, such a cute name, although, I will not be dressing up in a tuxedo like Vinyl suggested.
~Best Regards, Octavia