Chapters Fear.
There is some that resides in us all. No matter how many times you try to laugh it away, there are some fears; derivative from our feeling that just wont surpass. At some point we all just snap, leaving us into a hopeless pile of deterioration; that of the mind. There is always something keeping us from ever truly being not afraid of anything, be it fear of failure, fear of trying, or yet; fear of loss.
It has been a week from what is now dubbed by me: The Fall. I myself was lucky enough to be pretty much on the other side of Equestria, in the middle of what was an extension of the everfree forest, a place where nopony ever went, when it happened, that is if you can even call what I have now lucky. There is not much point in anything anymore; I’ve lost all my possessions, all my friends, and pretty much the entire world.
I had been in the everfree forest for a reason, one that I can recollect quite well in fact, and in all actuality it was pretty much the only memory I have left that is clear to me, all the rest have dissolved, my mind is not as it was. I had been in the everfree, per request of princess Celestia. She had asked me to check out an area; identify whether or not anything was native to the area, and if the place was suitable for any standards of living. I would not remember my findings if not for my handy notepad, my last remaining possession, even my saddlebag got lost somehow. I’d state my findings but I find I rarely open that thing these days; rather I just keep it as a token of sanity.
I never realized exactly how much everything really meant to me, it took the most exaggerated of actions to discover those feelings. The Fall left me alone, alone in a place I was quite unfamiliar with, and alone in a world so large even if there were a few people alive, it was still empty to me.
The Fall was something that was not easily unnoticeable, I heard it form exactly 87 kilometers away from Ponyville, my calculated location at the time of occurrence. I heard it, and it was big, it came from all sides, everything was obliterated, everything except very certain, little areas of relief, such as the one I stood upon.
When I heard the happening, I looked up at the sky through the thick trees canopy to see a sight that looked much like Rainbow Dash’s sonic rainbow, just with a lot less of the colour and awe specter. However unlike the sonic rainboom that sent waves of spectra in a perfectly formulated circle outwards for lengths on end, the waves from the noise seemed thick, irregular, and layered, as if multiples of what came from the sound happened in multiple locations. It made my ears burst and my hair stand on ends.
I did what the natural instinct was to do; I hid. I cuddled myself up in a ball next to a large tree, whose roots were large enough to be trees that were planted sideways. There I stay for a while; minutes, hours, days even, I’m not quite sure, the sense of time seemed to dislodge itself from my brain as I sat there, scared, fearing what might have happened, fearing that when I would step out of this forsaken forest that what I would see would not be the same Ponyville, the same Canterlot, the same Equestria. Everything faded; the day was dark.
Guilt.
For some reason, I feel I am responsible; that the reason I survived was because of their deaths. I feel guilty for something I did not do, it was right there but it was also beyond my reach, it was out of my control. I know it has been a week, but it still doesn't feel right, I feel that I abandoned them all. I keep telling myself it’s not your fault, there was nothing you could do but I know there is something I could have done: anything. And now, with all this time I have, alone in this empty world, I just play what happened that day over and over again in my head, it never goes away.
I was right there, right above it, the day it happened. The Boom was enormous, it came out of nowhere, and it was not a rainboom, it was undeniably something meant for destruction, a one-time use thing. As whatever it was that made The Boom set off, the skis filled with smoke, creating layers of darkness of sizes ten times larger than the largest clouds I’ve ever seen.
I found it kinda ironic that I was about to do a boom of my own when it happened. I was about six kilometers from the ground, which is by the way freezing up there, when it happened. You see the thing is it was Ground Mare’s Day; a day all ponies in Equestria spend the day on the ground to give thanks to the earth ponies that always helped grow the food and to the earth that give us residence for our many homes. And as with most “special” occasions I was asked to do a trademark Sonic Rainboom. Which is not as easy to recreate as you think; having to go 340 meters per second and all. This is why I was six kilometers up in the air; that is why I am still alive.
After I saw that enormous cloud of smoke rise I just instinctively dived right down, towards the ground, as if doing the sonic rainboom, yet I wasn't. I flew as fast as I knew I could without breaking the sonic barrier, it was to dangerous to break, what with not knowing the conditions and probably horrid visibility that came with the smoke.
Once I reached the top of the cloud, I stopped, I was hesitant to go though, and I had no idea what it was or what it could do, as well as what was underneath it. It took me a few minutes, until I figured the longer I wait, the more likely those of which who needed my help, needed it even more. I dashed though the layer of smoke whilst holding my breath. Formed underneath the smoke canopy was a large smoke pillar the equivalent of half the size of Ponyville. This got me very worried, I was still high up, and could barely see the ground. Whatever was down there did not look right.
Tears streamed from my eyes as I flew and fell towards to ground, not from my sheer velocity, but from the sight I saw before me and for the feelings it retrieved. I still cry to this very day whenever I remember this part, though there is little water, and life left in me to do so.
What I saw before me that day, was something completely alien to me, it was a view of Equestria I have never seen before, and that view provoked feelings in me I never knew I had.
Locked.
Now after a week of recollecting my thoughts of events prior, I am still not over it. That day changed Equestria forever. That day also changed me.
Back then I would never have thought myself to ever become so sappy, yet the truth is that, once everything you love is gone; friends, family, home, there ain’t much else to do but spilt your losses. But splitting your losses when there is nothing left to split is difficult to say the least.
That day The End happened was Ground Mare’s Day, a silly holiday if you ask me, instead actual work getting done, they celebrate the work that should be done, that they’re not doing. In any case, it was Ground Mare’s Day, and normally I would be there in the town center, partying along with the rest of the ponies, and having good times with my friends, but it just so happened to be the day that the southern field would turn sour, so I had to call it in this year. My friends were slightly disappointed, Pinkie most of all, but they understood, and I told them to carry the party without me. I told Rainbow too that I should be able to see her boom no matter where in Equestria I was, I guess that made her happy.
It had been a long day of work, apple bucking the entire south field, but it was finally done, Big Mac and I just had to put all the apple baskets into the apple cellar. Now usually the both of us would do this, but I let Big Mac off this time due a slight knee injury he was having, seeing as he already worked it in slightly in the south field. To this day I wish I hadn’t.
I was lucky; I survive by pure chance, though sometimes these days I wish I hadn’t. I was busy transferring the baskets of apples from the barn down to the cellar, when all of a sudden the cellar door closed on me, by some chance, to this day I still don’t know how. A thing about my cellar, is that it is made from many materials; concrete, steel, and wood as a varnish. So when the door closed I was pretty much stuck in a seven-meter square bunker. After the door was closed I was stuck in the dark, and not knowing why the door had closed I just went up to try and open it, I couldn’t, it was heavier than usual, it was stuck. After my failure of trying to open the door, I just sat down next to a pile of apples in the dark, I was sad that I would miss Rainbow’s rainboom.
Then it happened, I never actually saw what happened, but I heard it. Back then I thought it was the rainboom, it was not until later, when I dislodged the door that I later found out what happened.
Once I had finally dislodged the door, the first thing I saw, was nothing. I mean I definitely saw something, but it was as if there was nothing. There were apple trees everywhere, the barn was gone, and I couldn’t even see Ponyville in the distance. Everything was black and scorched, worse yet, there was a seared and charred corpse, that most definitely of Big Mac a few hundred meters to the side. This was the first body I saw, and it was surprisingly, not the worst.
I didn't believe anything I saw, I closed my eyes as I backed up slowly into my cellar, I tried to fall asleep as if it would wake me up from this nightmare that was reality. I stayed there, alone, in my cellar, for what seemed like an eternity.
Clearing.
I crawled out of my temporary placement, leaving the roots of the tree, and leaving the slight comfort they gave. I peered round the sides of the tree, as if I was hiding from a living being, and that I would not wish to be seen. As if there was something still alive out there, something watching me. As expected, there was no one there. To me, this as slightly reassuring, and slightly saddening; the fact that there probably was truly no one out there.
Outside the comfort of my tree, I started towards the only place I thought to go; home. It had taken me 2 days of so of telewalking, to get the 87 kilometers away from Ponyville I was, yet I knew it would take me half the time to get back. After about ten minutes of telewalking, I was already somewhere that looked unfamiliar. I most definitely did not pass that on the way going, it was truly a sight. Though I had never seen what I had seen on the way going, I knew I was going the right direction.
Before my eyes lay baron waste, hints of green lay scattered around but there was not much. There was nothing but trees brunt to a crisp, it was all dead, just death everywhere, and some animal bones could be seen along the debris. The ground was a warzone of tree branches and unidentifiable things. Though what I saw was not a pretty sight, the clearing did help me in some way; it allowed for faster, longer teleports, the lack of trees made the likelihood of ending up in one much less plausible. Magic isn't as easy as some people think, one little mistake and you are just as likely to end up inside of something, like a tree, than next to it.
It took what seemed to be forever of telewalking through new landscape that was getting old surprisingly fast till I finally was out, I cleared the forest or what of left of it. I had started moving at the break of day, and by that point it was pitch-black night. I needed shelter for some reason, and now that I think back, I actually don't know why, what was I sheltering from? I slept uncomfortably that night under the open night sky, my head lying on my saddlebags; a makeshift fort of debris sheltered me.
I awoke the next morning to rain; I guess that's what I was sheltering from, though with no roof over my head there was not much point. The sky was almost as dark as at dusk, but having it already been night it was surely sometime in the morning. I walked out of my so-called fort and, back then it still mattered to me, I took out my notepad and jotted some notes down; thought of dreams I had, thing I saw yesterday, myself trying to rationalize what was happening, I can't remember if I did a good job or not. For what is left now, to me, there is not rationalization, it just happened. Somepony did it; it could have been out of anger, or anything else that could drive a pony to the brink of insanity, but that doesn't matter anymore, whoever did it is probably dead, and it's not like we are able to turn back the time and stop The Fall from happening. I only wish I had a spell for that.
In the rain the first thought that came to me, remembering of what was probably yesterday, my sense of time gone, was; Why? Who would ever be so cruel? Why am I still alive? What if I'm the only one left? I had no explanations to clear the thoughts in my head.
Black.
I reached the ground. It was black. Just black, everything was black. The houses, what were left of them, the bones, of those who were recently living, the trees, which were the source of our food and air, the reason we live. It seemed impossible that a world could lack so much colour, yet what I saw in front of my eyes was not fake, it was monochromatic, it was a world that stopped living. In the wake of day, it seemed the night had painted itself on the ground, and that above us was the direction to our actual world.
It's been 2 months and things have started to regain colour, but it's still black. There is some life left here, I do have reasons to live, but we're not there yet. Once I had reached the ground, I gained a whole new perspective of the situation. I realized that I had lost everything, everything I held dear, and everypony I had promised to stand by no matter what. I not much for crying, but I couldn't help myself, I realized that I had feelings I never knew about; regret, loss, and most importantly guilt.
I felt it impossible to lift my wings; I could not take myself to see everything in whole. I grounded myself, something I never thought I'd do. I probably have not flown in 3 weeks now, and every time I think back to that point I can't help but thank myself, ever since then I've been able to live my life a bit slower, it's a lot easier on me.
Stuck on the ground, in the center of town I sat on my haunches, I sat there for quite some time, I was pouring my eyes out. I did not even try to comprehend what had happened, I just knew it did, and for some reason, to myself, I was responsible. My friends were all dead and I was sure of it.
I honestly didn't want to do it, but I knew I had to. I needed some sort of closure I guess you could say. I knew I was in the center of town, as the burning black wreckage, and skeleton of town hall lay few meters to my side, this meant I was close to sugarcube corner. I headed in that direction. Night was approaching.
Usually it wouldn't take me half a second to get to sugarcube corner, but everything was different on the ground, walking felt unnatural for some reason. It took me 10 minutes to walk to the location of sugarcube corner; I do believe I got lost along the way.
The usual ginger bread house styled house was now something along the lines of a bunch of burnt toast held together by butter. It looked very unsafe, but it was the only way I could convince myself I was not dreaming, or even better that I might not be alone, I mean come on; it is Pinkie Pie after all. I entered the archway that used to be a door, and I had to go no further, there was a hole in the ceiling where the roof had collapsed, under it lay the most Pinkie Pie of corpses. It looked like she was serving everypony cupcakes and otherbaked goods for groundmares day to the population of Ponyville. The way she lay looked as if she was busy yelling something very Pinkie Pie like, like something: I hope everypony is having fun! Or These cupcakes are delicious, everypony come, take one. I didn't need to see anything else, I exited and went to find some place to lay my head, someplace surrounded by the dark of night, not the dark of death.
Mourning.
Enclosed by my bunker of solitude, knowing I couldn't fall asleep, I didn't know what to do. It was as if somepony took away my ability to close my eyes properly. They stayed open, open to the horror of lay beyond my cellar door.
I knew I couldn't stay in my cellar forever, yet I just couldn't bring myself to see the outside world again. I thought to myself Everything I worked for; gone, everything I loved; gone, I had nothing anymore. Though I could not prove my friends were all dead, the mere fact of the matter is that I could only assume the worst. Judging by the amount of explosion rings in the sky and the effects of them I saw on my farm, it was highly unlikely for any of them to have lived, to be honest.
I cried at the fact that my life's work was gone, keeping the farm was the thing that kept me running, and it was the only thing that kept my hooves moving. It was the only thing I knew to do well, my cutie mark seemed obsolete now, though that was the least of my worries.
After a moment of crying over my family's business it struck me that even worse; not only my business was destroyed but so was everypony else's; Rarity's Boutique, Pinkie Pie and Sugarcube Corner, Fluttershy's animal care, Twi's Library, and whatever it was that Rainbow did, if that filly ever actually worked.
See as how I was working when this whole End thing happened, I had assumed that they were working too, except for Twi' who I knew was out in the Everfree, it was sad to me; the thought that she died alone. Her last words to us were "Don't worry, I'll be perfectly fine, and I'll be back before the week's end." She wasn't coming back that week.
I just couldn't keep helping myself; I kept spewing tears. It was the thought of never seeing any of them again. It was the thought of how I was probably the last pony alive in Equestria. It was the thought of how any of the other would handle it.
Rarity would surely be a disaster, that pony can't even get her hooves dirty, let alone live in a world of black soot and smog. That pony would be killing herself lickety split. Her fashionable class would be very much so useless round here; nopony would be able to see her, and prettifying everything wouldn't help at all.
Pinkie Pie, well, lets just say I'd be worried for that one. The story Dash told us of Gummy's after birthday party, was probably something that would give the same effect she would have now, just that this is about 100 time bigger.
I don't know how Fluttershy would cope, how does one who's special talent is loving everything live when there is nothing left to love, I know she could take care of others, but could she take care of herself?
Twilight would probably drive herself crazy to find a spell that would fix this all.
And finally Rainbow Dash. The most loyal of friends, she always acted free and independent, but I'd assume she'd stay right by her friends. I sighed, it was raining.
IMPORTANT UPDATE: DUE TO SOME OF MY FRIENDS CRITICISM I HAVE GONE BACK AND CHANGE THE TIME SPAN IN WHICH THIS STORY IS BEING TOLD, WHAT WAS 1 YEAR, HAS NOW BECOME 1 WEEK. YES A HUGE DIFFERENCE BUT HE ASSURED ME, AND I AGREED, THAT THE WAY THIS STORY IS GOING THIS WILL MAKE MORE SENSE FOR THE COMING PARTS. THANK YOU, THAT IS ALL.
Rationalization.
The realization of rational thought being obsolete hit me. There was nothing rationale about what happened. Speaking of rations, I was hungry. It had been 2 days since I ate, the hunger I had made my stomach grumble. I reached out for my pack that lay on the ground, my magic enveloped it as I floated it over to me. As I opened it was to my relief that there were still plentiful amounts of sandwiches left, though they only lasted me a week. I took care not to get the sandwiches soggy from the current downpour.
Based on my location, as I had gotten out of the forest roughly the same way I came in, I was only a couple of kilometers away from Ponyville. I had been in the, middle of the everfree, which was actually closer to Fillydelphia, and Marehiem, rather than Ponyville. At the time none of those crossed my mind, it was simply a case of basic instinct, that closest to me was what was prevalent in my mind.
I started walking my way to Ponyville, I knew I needed to conserve some sort energy, as with a limited food supply I needed to make sure that it didn't run out too fast, though I knew means of getting around the whole food ordeal. Which is of course why I am still here and not dead due to starvation.
On my walk back to Ponyville I kept my eye out for anything that was recognizable, any sort of landmark I'd be able to identify. Alas, there was none. I was alone, walking down a path of lost memories; landmarks I had kept in my mind were gone; tainted as it were. An empty path, as a blank canvas, as if it were a parchment that held stories, our stories, but then were furiously erased away, leaving ghost lines across it to remind me that there was something there, and life does still exist. Though my mind thought of life that existed; myself that is, it kept the thought of life existing in our memories. Though non-sentient it was a life form that could be in as large a quantity as it wanted, so long as there was at least one pony to fuel their life in our world.
I tried to dwell on the thoughts of life, and rebuilding, though along my walk, seeing the things I saw, or rather the things I didn't see anymore, it was hard to keep my focus. I still to this day think of the possibilities that would allow us to rebuild but there is never any point as there is never any driving will, all that's left is to live lives out till none go on anymore.
I reached Ponyville; it was mid-day. Luckily the rain had stopped. A rainbow immersed in the sky and it was the most beautiful thing ever. In a world this dark, any bit of colour is something of a rarity.
The sight provoked my thoughts: Sigh – Rarity… Rainbow… my friends…
I entered Ponyville from the southern road; from up close it was a lot different then what I saw from the distance. The road itself was practically invisible, but I knew it was there; it was the only place it could be. Walking over the soot, and what I could only assume was shrapnel, and debris from the broken houses; I wandered towards my former home. However the direction of which I was going meant I would pass, Rarity's, and Pinkie's houses. I obviously had to check those out.
I had to walk all the way across town to get to my house, so I guess I had some time to take in "the scenery". Once again, it seemed a theme of black was recurring. The humble town that was my home; Ponyville, had become a necropolis. I saw bones of what I could only assume were my fellow citizens. They lay dead, in their houses, of which were crumbling, and burning to bits. It looked to be the same everywhere; there was no chance that the same fate had not come to the rest of my friends.
Though I knew my house was straight ahead on the other side of town, I took a right as I was walking, the way lead me to Rarity's house. I could hope against all odd that she was ok, or at the very least living.
What used to be a largely shaped conical boutique, and house, was now a pile of lumber. There was no sign of the colour that filled Rarity's boutique before, no sign of the dresses she used to sell, and display, and worse; no sign of Rarity. She might have been under all the remnants of the fallen house, but unless I wanted to use up all my energy to magic everything away, there was no point in even looking. Had she been outside, and knowing it was Ground Mare's Day, she probably was, there was no chance of survival. Inside however, one might have been lucky enough to find oneself in a cellar at the right moment. Knowing that it was pretty much certain Rarity was dead; I didn't have much hope for the rest of my friends either.
I left the depressing sight of Rarity's home, and headed back into the depressing sight of the town, I walked towards my house. It seemed to be around 2p.m., though the only indication was the positioning of the sun behind some clouds. It would have been nice to know the time; I can't even recall the last time I knew, it seems so long ago that time has become a useless measurement, just another indication of how little life left we have to live. There was no chance of ever really telling the time, as the clock tower broke along with the rest of Ponyville, and rest of Equestria.
I walked by many dead people, I wondered if I had ever met them, if they had ever met me. It seems so silly that the thing that mattered to be the most then was if I had anypony who I hadn't gotten to know on any level of friendship, and not the fact that I was alone in a necropolis with a diminishing food supply in a world that is dead.
Next up, along the road to my house was Pinkie Pie's, I assumed that's where I would find her, see as she's always there, even on Ground Mare's Day when she loves giving out sweets and baked goods to everypony, and anypony, especially those that came from places such as Cloudsdale, just to celebrate Ground Mare's Day with us.
It didn't take me long to find the house; it still seemed to keep it's shape though the texture seemed to change from nice soft cake to, well, the result of any of Rainbow's attempts at baking. I walked up to the door to see whatever horrors lay within, however right before I did, I saw something out the corner of my eye, it seemed to poke a hole through a cloud. I wasn't sure if it was my imagination or something real, and if it was real, it was going to fast for me to see. I assumed it was my imagination; nothing was alive that fast anymore, so I thought.
Fly.
When I woke up my back was aching, the ground I slept on outskirts of Ponyville was rough. It lacked the luxury of sleeping on a cloud, as well as the comfort of sleeping in one of Applejack's many apple trees. Void of a pillow my head hurt from the sleep. Not only was my head hurting from the lack of comfort that it usually receives, but it was also being deprived of food and such. There had been food in my house, but that was gone, it probable evaporated or something during the explosion, seeing as it was a cloud and all...
I didn't wake because it was the start of day, which it was, no, I woke because it started raining on me, a quite un-pleasurable experience in my opinion. I would never have woken up that early if not so, though in hindsight I believe it was a good thing and a bad thing. The good reason was that I needed to start moving, I was hungry and I needed to find food and someplace to stay; sleeping on the ground was not quite my forte. And, well, the bad reason was; it might have been a bit to early.
Having slept so uncomfortably threw me off slightly, my back was stiff and my neck craning, I didn't want to move, though going back to sleep wasn't very enticing either. I decided that there was honestly nothing better to do than get up. I may as well have tried to start finding out what truly happened: the what, the why, and the how. Who it was that did it was irrelevant, as I knew only a crazy pony would be able to bear the burden of knowingly being the cause of death to millions upon millions of others. Considering the scale as to what had happened, the motives behind whoever plotted this entire thing must have been large. For a crazy pony with that much incentive to kill or destroy, nopony would wield strength enough to oppose that craziness, there would be no predicting how anyone of that instability would act. Though maybe that is what happened. Maybe instead what could have been maybe a small attack on something, turn out to become this, because of some sort of interference. I don't know, not even now. Nopony knows.
Anyways as I was saying; I really wasn't keen on getting back to sleep. It was miserable out here, but I knew that I needed answers to calm myself, and I needed to start somewhere. And I needed to eat something too; I was starved. The only problem was that as I looked around me, everything was dead, brunt to a crisp. There was nothing edible anywhere in sight, and I had similar thoughts for the rest of how the rest of Equestria faired, I assumed nothing dissimilar to that of which I could see before my eyes then, and what I still see now.
With a stiff body, and rumbling stomach, I started my way back to town. It was the best place to start after all. I knew the place, I knew the people, and it was close by, though I highly doubted that I would find anything worth noting about the entire affair. However, even though I knew looking for clues in the mess of Ponyville was pretty much a useless effort, I knew it was better than nothing, I mean, I still didn't even know how the rest of Equestria looked like. I didn't even know if the rest of Equestria got hit at all, or if it was just Ponyville. It had just occurred to me then; I honestly didn't know anything of what was true going on, only the little I saw of Ponyville was what I knew, I feared looking at the settlements in Equestria, I wasn't sure if my mind or heart could bear the sight.
I had to keep the thoughts out of my mind; they weren't helping. I wasn't thinking straight. I needed food, without any I just became a hopeless mess.
All this time though, I hadn't stopped walking. I was almost back to Ponyville. Why wasn't I flying one might ask? The reason is simple. Like unicorn magic a Pegasus' wings work kinda similarly, at least that's how they explained this at flight school, much like magic, a Pegasus must expend a lot of their own energy to fly, the fast you fly or the higher, the more strenuous it becomes, and the more energy is depleted. Though I have some of the most flying energy around, I couldn't feel it, it felt like it was completely drained. As a unicorn's magic happens when they want, as does a Pegasus flight, though this is only possible when they can, and when they can access their energy reserves. Eventually your energy reserves run out, and they are no more. But I knew that couldn't be the case for me, I still had loads of energy left, heck I was even about to pull of a sonic rainboom earlier. Knowing this, I knew that my energy wasn't out; I just couldn't access it. There were a number of different reasons as to why a Pegasus wouldn't be able to access their energy, I believe mine reason out of all of them, was a lack of trust for my wings.
It's hard to explain to those who don't have wing themselves, and don't know the feeling behind it, but the fact of the matter is I didn't trust my wings. I couldn't trust them. They let me be up in the clouds above everyone else at the time of their deaths, how could they let me have done that. Because of this mistrust they wouldn't lend me their flight, at least not for now.
I reached the town, my first thoughts were that of food, man was I hungry. Obviously the best places to look for were the food stores, and restaurants, as they would have proper facilities, rather than the normal kitchen fridge. Unfortunately, having proper facilities like those still don't protect food from and explosion. I honestly check everywhere, from The Bon-Bon Sweet Shop to The Haystack Restaurant, until I had only one place left to look; Sugar Cube Corner. I dreaded the thought of going back there, nothing pleasant awaited me there; even the thought of food was almost not enticing enough to make me go back, having to see my friend dead again, it broke my heart. However, these were dire circumstances, as they are now, and I knew that if surely there was food anywhere, Pinkie would probably have some, and that it would probably be in her basement.
I came out of Pinkies house, there was food, but not much, I pretty much ate it all, and the rest I stuffed into a saddlebag that was in the basement. Pinkie's basement was interesting; I've never actually been down there. The walls were a nice colour red, and there streamers and balloons, right in the middle was a metal table, large enough for a pony to even lay down on, perfect for putting a bunch of snacks on. And that's about it. I mostly found cupcakes down there, not what I find is the best food, but it's better than nothing.
Gone.
I knew I had sat in my cellar for around 2 or 3 days. Though I was surrounded by so much food, apples that is, I couldn't bring myself to eat any, it just didn't seem right that it was my profession that kept me alive, and would be what would keep me alive. It wasn't like I needed that energy, I rarely even moved a mussel, it was almost as if I couldn't.
I became hungry on the morning of the say where it rained. Though I was hungry, and I don't usually think straight on an empty stomach, I did have one thought that passed through my mind; how in Equestria was it raining, if the weather team was dead? At that point I looked up to the cellar door, which I had left shut and thought: Is this all a dream? Maybe everything is fine in all honesty I fell and hit my head or something. Maybe it's still the same out there!
It wasn't. I had gotten my hopes up. I was now standing outside, and the rain took me. The rain had put out most of the fire the trees had, and cleaned the ground slightly, but even though it cleaned stuff up a bit, that didn't make any bit less than depressing. There was no current explanation for the weather, but there was something certainly odd about it when I look back at it, it all makes some sense now.
I sat, standing there for the next few minutes; I didn't know what to do. The days before I had been cowering in my cellar, not much of bravery there, or however you would want to call it, in short, I was afraid of finding more people, dead or alive, especially my friends. I wouldn't want my friends to have died, nor would I wish them the same fate as I; to be stuck on the planet alone, and without knowledge or hope.
There was nothing left for me at Sweet Apple Acres, nor in Ponyville. I daren't go into town, seeing Big Mac was hard enough, to know how many were in town at the time for the celebration… think about it made my heart break, especially knowing that my friends; Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow, Pinkie, were all at the heart of it. As for Twilight I can just hope she went peacefully and was with someone at the time, I'd have hate for her to die all alone, no one deserves that.
Weighing my options, and considering all the circumstances, I made a decision. I would leave Ponyville. I still had not clue as to what happened to the rest of Equestria, however based on the number of rings I saw on the first day, I assumed not well. I was going to head towards Canterlot, I needed answers, and it was my resolve.
It was not long till it was around mid-day, I had waited around for the rain to stop, and was ready to leave as soon as I could. I left the confines of my cellar, and took with me as many apples as possible, the rest I left behind; they were the only sustenance left on Equestria as far as I could see. The trek ahead of me would take quite some time, and though Canterlot was visible in the distance and did not seem far, I knew the road I had to follow would be harder, due to it's new conditions. It would take long enough to get to Canterlot normally, 2 and half hours by train and nearly 5 hours by carriage of 2-horse power. Having to walk it all alone, while carrying a load of apples in my saddlebag would take me at least 6 or 7 hours, even though I was Ponyville's best athlete.
I left Sweet Apple Acres, I had no clue that it would be the last time I'd see the home I've had my entire life for the last time, as I have not seen it since. Slowly my home, or what was left of it was disappearing on the horizon, I cried, I didn't even give my big brother a last look goodbye, I didn't even have the decency to bury him. I still regret not having done so. There was only one thing I could do; continue walking northeast, ahead, where Canterlot lay, where answers might have been found.
I knew that the road northeast ran through the town, and I honestly did not want to go there, though now I know it would have been best if I did. Instead of heading into town via the road from my house, I knew to cut off before hand; it was only a minor detour that would allow me to surpass the town without it seeing me, and without me having to see it. It was a path I used many times, though I love my friends and family, there are just some ponies in this town that are just crazy, or at least; there were ponies that were crazy, it was a good way to avoid those certain few.
The detour, as intended, led me around the town as always. It was the same old path I took, hidden behind a hill that used to be covered in thickets and trees but was now just blackened, void of the flora, and life that in abundance upon it. It is discouraging how much has been lost, even the small things, I never knew how much I appreciated things I took for granted before. In any case…
I had arrived on the other end of town, and as I had expected, and just as it always has been, the road to Canterlot was right ahead of me. Though the road was not as it always has been, it would suffice, so long as it would show me the way. The broken road, cracked and barely unusable was horrendous to travel along, but for a simple earthpony like me it was the only way, it wasn't like I was Twi with her fancy flash walk or whatever she called it, nor was I like Rainbow, how could just fly there.
I was but a short way along; it was sometime around 2 or 3p.m. when I heard some noise. I assumed it was the wind, but why in Equestria would the wind pick up so loudly, and so fast, the weather certainly was acting odd lately, and there was no weather team behind it. I looked up to the clouds as the wind concerned me, usually it meant rain was coming, but the odd thing was the wind I heard stopped, and there was a whole in the clouds, the weather really was odd, or so I thought.
The moon came early that night; it must have only been around 5p.m. when I saw its face. Being held up in my cellar the entire time, underneath the smoke cloud, I had been able to see to moon the night's prior. It was a beautiful sight and I could not help but gaze in awe, and though it was no condolence for the millions of death that had happened, it was almost relieving as it made me know that at least our world is still here, and while it is still here, there is always a place to live. It was pitch black before long, and I couldn't see anymore, I decided to take a break and gather some sleep. I pulled off to the side of the road and lay myself down against the remains of a tree, I ate an apple and went to sleep.
Magic .
I had found nothing inside Pinkie's house, or formally known: Sugarcube Corner, nothing but more sadness then before, and emptiness like the depths or space that filled my heart. Seeing things like these hurt, deeper than any cut could ever be, it was on a whole different level, an emotional level. I finally knew what it was like of Pinkie on her last birthday, or I assume I do, judging from Rainbow's descriptions of what it was like. I was alone and starting to lose my mind.
I needed to fix this, to fix everything, I needed something of a time travel, I needed to warn Ponyville, I needed to warn Equestria, I needed to warn the princess! Then I stuck me; the Princess! I hadn't thought about her since the explosion occurred, certainly she must still be alive and such else how did the sun fall and the moon rise the past days? I knew that I had to head to Canterlot immediately, if not for the aid of the Princess, but for the hope of by chance finding some sort of fixing spell, time travel or anything. But there was one thing I had to do first.
While the explosion occurred, I knew three thing that were actually happening; Applejack was bucking trees, Rainbow was going to do a rainboom at some point, and Spike was cleaning the library as instructed. I knew it was going to be Ground Mare's Day when he got back from Canterlot knew he wanted to spend time at the celebration but with my being gone, and him away the library was unfortunately left in a big mess. He could have cleaned it on a later date, but I assumed, from the state I left it in, that it would take longer than normal.
I headed on over to the library, and as expected it was burnt to a crisp, considering it was a tree after all. Even though it was gone beyond repair, it was in a better state than I thought it would be. Still standing, the building had faired better than most others. It must have been the force feild I keep up around it that saved it for the most part. Though the magic shield could hold back many, and most things, from the distance I was at to the shield, and the intensity of what happened, I was not surprised by the state of things.
Entering the inside of the building was a different story, as if the inside was some different world. Sure the books had fallen, as had the shelves, but everything inside was still clean, with the exception of the dirt and debris that came through the broken windows. The walls were still their usually tone of brown, and everything was for the most part intact, though through closer inspection, the books seemed all burnt. I don't know they were the only things to burn but they were.
Since all the books were burnt, there seemed no reason to stay in the library. It was to depressing, but I knew I had to leave it. It would be a bad habit to attach myself to menial things such as those books and that whole library. Not only did I not want to stay and rummage through the mess of burnt books, but I also feared for finding other things in states I wouldn't want to see them in, as for one; Spike.
Therefore, since searching the place would be futile, and all I knew I would find would be more pain, and more hurt with the more attached I am, I decided to leave. As I started to leave, looking out the front door, it was apparently nighttime already, even though I was almost certain that it was only like 5p.m. or something. With it being night and all, I thought best to stay the night in the library before I head out to Canterlot, there was no point sleeping on the ground when my bed was probably perfectly fine right upstairs.
I walked up the library stairs to the upper floor where my bed was, and as I suspected it was still there, standing on 4 legs, just a bit messier than usual. In fact the only thing unusual is the blood on the ground. Blood?! Spike!
I saw blood on the ground, it led to my bed, and when I noticed it, there indeed seemed to be something in my bed. I approached my bed with haste, knowing it could only be Spike. A short dash and I was there next to my bed, next to Spike, who I could not yet see, he had a blanket over himself.
"Tw-Twilight…?" came a faint voice from underneath the still blanket.
"Spike! Spike I'm back, I'm back from everfree! I saw what happened, and I came rushing back home, yet on the way things just got worse and worse, ponies were dead everywhere Spike! Pinkie, Rarity, everypony is dead…"
"Is-is that you…?"
"Spike, what's wrong? You're hurt, you're bleeding right? Please can I take the blanket off, I need to see what is wrong. Spike please!"
A soft hmmm sound emanated from underneath the thin blanket that at closer inspection was stained with blood all over, the texture of Spike's scales visible through the blanket. This was a sound of yes.
With my magic I lifted the blanket completely vertically and kept it completely straight, I wanted to make absolutely certain that I did not do any harm to Spike. Once it was a few feet above him, I threw it to the other side of the room and let my eyes see what was beneath the blood-covered blanket.
In front of me was Spike, but also was not, in all it was more like half of Spike. I refrained from screaming, I didn't want to stress the baby dragon.
"Twilight… it's good to see you again, I - "
"Spike what's wrong! Don't die on me Spike, please Spike, please!" by this time I was welling with tears. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, he should have died, how was he still alive in his condition, it was so sad, I truly felt sorry for him, he would have died quickly like the rest if not for me, and my force field.
"It's nothing Twilight –" Spike stopped to cough up blood, "I'm just happy to see your face again, or any face for that matter. I think now I can die peacefully like the rest, knowing someone was watching over me when it happened, hmmmm…" Spike finished with a sigh of relief, though dying is not something I would be relieved about.
"Spike stop talking crazy, there is no way you can die on me!"
"No, there is. Twilight I've been in this condition for 3 or 4 days now, I feel my energy is low, there is honestly not much life left in me. Through my blood loss and the pain in my heart, I am ready to die."
"Spike please!"
"No Twilight, there is no way to stop this, trust me. I only wish I could have just lived a bit longer…"
"Could - Could you at least tell me what happened?"
"I'll do my best." Spike paused as he gathered up his energy to tell me what happened, and to cough up some more blood again. "As you know, it was Ground Mare's Day. I just came back from Canterlot and – and I remembered the last words you said to me 'Spike, I want that library cleaned the moment you get back!' Heh, I was a bit bummed about not being able to party but I knew you meant right, so I went ahead and started to clean the library. Over the day many of our friends came to wish me a happy Ground Mare's Day and invited me to party, but no, I kept working. I knew my duty. And then It came" Spike paused as he shed a tear, "Whatever that was that happened, it came. And it destroyed everything. I can't tell you about what it was, all I could see was a bright white light, all I could hear was a large boom, and all I could feel was immense pain, I fell unconscious. Now as you know dragons are fire proof, so the blast of the explosion didn't burn, I only felt a warm heat, which I assume is how the books burned, through the heat, not contact with fire. When I awoke, I couldn't move my legs, I was lying on the ground and I could only feel pain on my upper body, I was really scared Twilight."
"It's ok, it's ok…"
"Yeah, so, I couldn't even feel my legs, I was scared to look, but I did. I turned my head around to see that I was trapped underneath a bookcase, or rather, my legs were trapped underneath a bookcase. I couldn't feel them, which mean I knew my lower body was broken or paralyzed. I felt my spines were broken too, there was blood surrounding me, my blood, it was the most blood I've ever seen in my life.
"Out of blood loss, I stayed there on the floor the first day, I had no energy to move, and the pain was pulsating all over. So I waited, sprawled over the floor, underneath the bookcase, in a pool of drying blood. The second day, came I knew I was already a goner, there was no way anyone was coming for me, I started to lose hope, but I knew if anything, that if I were to die, I would at least like to have comfort in death. With all my strength, I pulled myself out from underneath the bookcase, or I attempted to. But I kept trying. I wanted to get out from under there and finally I did… but it was really hard. I think I dislocated my legs in the process. I crawled to your bed upstairs, and I've been laying here ever since. It was a pain, but I now have comfort. My energy is completely drained and I certainly am hungry, but now that you are here, that doesn't matter. That's all I can say, I really don't know that much."
"That's ok Spike you helped me more than enough."
I spent the next day and night there with Spike, and that night I slept in my bed, next to him. He was cold, the loss of blood was showing, signs of death were there. The poor baby dragon seemed so content, and so resolute with the idea of death that he wouldn't let me heal his fatal wounds. The broken body of Spike slipped away into eternal sleep during the night, I didn't even notice. I awoke in the morning with Spike's dead body under my arms, he died under my watch, I let it happen, but it's what he wanted.
I sat in my bed for a while caressing Spike, weeping my eyes out. Though this destructive happening had killed everyone I knew, supposedly, I think I did not feel as sad for the loss of million that I didn't know, than the loss of my lifetime friend. He always was the best assistant I ever had.
I tucked Spike in bed, underneath the warm blankets, there he would lie peacefully, and I knew it was time for me to leave. I knew that if I didn't leave, and if I could fix everything, Spikes death, and my friends, and the millions of others will be in vain. I needed to fix this, if not, then I just become one of the millions myself, and that serves no good to anyone.
Before Spike passed, he mentioned that during his trip to Canterlot he didn't notice anything unusual, even though Luna was acting a bit odd, but then again, it is Luna, what would you expect from a mare who was taken over by evil and banished to the moon by her sister for 1000 years. Unfortunately Spikes story of how his Canterlot trip gave no hints to what had happened. Everything still remains a mystery. My only hope was that maybe, somehow, in Canterlot where the spell archives are, I might come across a time travel spell, it would be the only way to stop it.
I grabbed what was left of my saddlebag and headed to the door. I gave my respects to Spike, and I said goodbye to the home that we lived in for those joyful amounts of years. I regretted not saving Spike, regardless of what he said, but I thought that if I could actually fix this, there would be no need to. If finding a way too fix this, not for my own sake, I should find a way for Spike.
I opened the door to head outside, and to my surprise, it was still night. I was sure it was morning when I woke up, I rarely under or oversleep. I assumed I was just up a bit early so I left anyways, if I was early, the sun would catch up to me anyways. The road ahead of me was a long one, and I had to be prepared for whatever emotional challenges may lie ahead. That was all 2 days ago, so as you might be able to tell, there were a few complications.
In the dark of the night, I headed out in what to be was the light of the day, nothing, not even the night was dark enough to match the darkness in my heart, and the darkness in my eyes as I've seen the world around me. I assured myself it would all be over soon and that a fix was inevitable. I knew I was looking for a fix, but I also wished to find some answers too.
There is something not right about this whole thing, and I am almost certain that I can find the answers in need in Canterlot.
Down.
I was in the air, the wind flowing through my mane, my eyes watering from the speed. Flight was always natural to me, but this flight didn't feel right, my wings felt heavier, I felt heavier, it was as if the guilt I was feeling turned into physical weight and was bearing down on me. Though I felt slow in the weight's presence, I was going as fast as ever.
I broke through the clouds leaving a gaping hole behind. At this point in time I felt like I had nothing to live for anymore, after searching Ponyville, finding the ruins, and know my friends were dead, there was nothing left, but family. I was leaving behind everything that has been the latter half of my life, I was leaving only in hope that maybe my first home, also of clouds; Cloudsdale would still be there, as would maybe my family. It was I long shot, I knew that, it was Ground Mares Day; nopony was supposed to be up in the air, what would anypony have any business doing in Cloudsdale, how was I supposed to know, I had to go see for myself.
Up in the air I felt the loneliness again, it was the thought that I was the only one around the world to still be seeing the open sky and soar through it, whilst gazing towards the potential beauty of the terrain below. But I was not able to enjoy that open sky, nor was I able to admire the landscape; both had been tarnished. The sky was a sea of soot-blackened clouds, with miniscule breaks between them, allowing the rays of sunlight to pass through, down onto the earth, which to was in turn a lost mess of broken trees, burnt ground, and overall dread.
As the wind rushed through my mane, I felt my eyes starting to tear; I didn't know why, well I did subconsciously but I didn't know why I was crying then, I just didn't know what was provoking it. The small tears streamlined off my face and through the clouds, you could almost call it raining. It could have been the resurfaced thought of my friends, or the fact that I felt I was truly going home for the first time in years, or that realization that it is most likely probable that my family was dead too.
From the last time I was there, in Cloudsdale, it was due west of Canterlot; Cloudsdale has a tendency to relocate itself based on how the weather is, who knows how much an explosion would affect it. I stayed my course, fly directly north west of Ponyville; despite being able to see Canterlot, which is practically the same distance of Cloudsdale, in the distance the fact is it is actually a fair distance away, probably about 2 hours worth of flight time. My wings grew heavier and heavier throughout the flight, it was pathetic of me, I hadn't even been flying for little more than an hour and I was dying for a rest. Saving myself the hassle of not wanting cramped wings that would fly me any further than a pony could jump, I gave myself a rest. I attempted to find the whitest cloud I could, but there was not one in sight, not above nor below me, there would be nowhere to rest. I couldn't stay up in the clouds. I went back down, down to the ground where I could hopefully find a nice spot to rest in, if any place still existed. On the ground I was right next to the road, which led to Canterlot. I had found a ditch on the side of the road that looked comfortable enough to take a rest in. I went and lay down; I was so worn out that I let myself close my eyes, I fell asleep.
Walking
I was already heading my way towards Canterlot, after I had skirted the edges of Ponyville. I didn't want to look back so I just kept moving forward, over the charred, and broken road. It was truly an obstacle the road; cracks everywhere, holes, mounds. Heck it was probably easier to walk alongside the road rather than on top of it.
Though there were the physical set backs, the emotional set backs kept me from keeping my pace, I started to slow my advance. What was the point of rushing? Who would I be helping? All I could accomplish with running was making myself tired. I couldn't expend any energy that was unnecessary; my supplies were to limited for that. I slowed down to a brisk trot.
Usually this road would be part of the track during the autumn, for the running of the leaves. It was a lot different than then, there were no leaves to run off, there weren't any trees really for that matter; they were more like dead sticks that protruded from that ground, making their presence know, being a symbol of the life that once was. There was no scenery to appreciate, there was no life around, and I was the only colour left in the world. An orange speck; the fire of vengeance, I was the fire lighting the way to the truth.
The path was becoming increasingly difficult to traverse; there were more cracks than road by that point. I left the road, which is on a slightly elevated path, and headed down the right side. Usually I would never walk off the path, to many chances to fall and too many bumps and holes, however now, it seemed a much more pleasurable walking route; the ground was flatter for one.
I was not even half way yet when I stopped to have a rest. I took an apple out of my pack and sat down to eat it. I was truly more thirsty than hungry but the explosion had tarnished our water supply on our farm, and I assumed that finding more fresh water would be hard. Be that as it may, the juices from the apple, and its natural sweet, sugar, gave me the energy to get back on my feet and continue walking.
I was quickly getting more exhausted from not drinking anything, but as luck may have it I suddenly heard something. It was the sound of flowing water! And it was flowing fast; it was not to my knowledge that there was a broad stream or river along the way to Canterlot. I quickly ran through the charred shrubbery, heading towards the sound that was emanating on my right. It got louder as I got nearer, and I was still a decent distance away. I was straying further and further off the path, deeper and deeper into the charred forest, the sky was getting darker, I slipped.
I had tripped over a dead stump or something, and was quickly falling down the side of the hill, down the thin valley, and down to the water flow. I let out a scream; pain ran through my leg, it seared all the way up my back. The river was coming in view, and I had to do something, or else I'd be swept away. While I rolled down the hill, I reach frantically for something to grab onto, but there was nothing, everything was dead. There was nothing stopping me from diving head in. At least it would clench my thirst.
Scream.
I woke abruptly, to the sounds of my friends, it sounded like Applejack screaming. My mind was really starting to play tricks on me. I rubbed my sleepy eyes awake to view the night, how could the stars still shine and moon, show its face when there was nopony to greet it.
It was sad really, Luna was right, people are never awake to see the beauty of the night. To feel the awe one feels whilst looking up at the stars; it can make one feel very small, and in a world on their own it can only help amplify the loneliness. We are so insignificant. As I sat looking up at the night sky I pondered the time. I hadn't had an accurate note as to the time for three or four days now. I tried to read the time by the moon, but I didn't seem to move, it sat, stuck there high in the sky, full in size and brighter than ever. The moonlight emanated so brightly that it was almost as bright as Celestia's sun, or at the very least as bright as something could be, while surrounded by the dark of the night, shining upon the darkened world below.
There wasn't much for me to do but think. I had no intentions to roam during the night, because though the moon was very bright, there is always bad visibility in dark skies. So I didn't move, I was entranced by the silence around me, and the malefic clouds that shrouded the night. The stars were shining bright that night, at least the one that you could see were.
I really hadn't made an impact on my journey by this point. I don't know if I was lazy or something, but getting up for some reason didn't feel like an option. I sat in my bedding in the ditch; right next to what was a great big tree. It was dead now, though I don't think that it was just the tree's life that died on that spot; with a tree that big I could only guess that there was some animal family living in it. This could only remind me of Fluttershy. I was right there with her, before I took off to do my rainboom. She was so happy that day, I wished she was up in the clouds with me when it had happened, so at least I'd not be the only pony around here…
It was 2 hours later, the sky was getting a lot darker, and any decent weatherpony would know that what I saw were signs of a storm. Except, I didn't know, I was too entangled in deep thought to notice my surroundings; it was only till I heard a snap, and then another snap, except the latter one I had also felt, that I had noticed. A bolt of lighting had struck down from the stormy skies, and hit the big tree, it snapped off a large branch that was consequently right above me. It came down hard, and hit me like the weight of a dragon's gold. The snap had come from my wing. The branch had broken it, for all the good fortune it was worth; I was not trapped under the branch, but I was too injured to get up, to go, and seek shelter, to clean my wounds. All along my wing there were scratches, and a few deep gashes, but none compared to the pain of my wing joint. The pain was immense, as I couldn't move under the pitter-patter of the raindrops. I tried to scream, but I couldn't.
It took me a couple of minutes to pass out from the loss of blood, and the searing pain. I lay there and let everything fade to black. I had truly had never felt more alone in my whole life before then.
Roots.
I stopped. It wasn't a pleasant one, but I stopped. In the darkness I hadn't seen the steep ditch that landed right before the river, because of that I just went rolling down. I landed in a pool of water, though it was only about ankle height. I think I was unconscious for a while or something, because when I came too it was raining. I could feel the drops on the top of my head.
I could feel the drops on the top of my head… I had lost my hat. That hat meant the world to me; I'd almost go as far as to say that it meant more than my friends. Many ponies don't know bout my hat, but that hat was a gift that my pappy gave me when I was just a little filly. That hat has always reminded me of the strength and determination from my father. He is also the reason I'm representing the element of honesty, he was the best stallion I ever knew, and he raised us to always seek the best in people and don't hold lies; it's the easiest way for people to get hurt. I never take that hat off if I could help it, so to know that it was not there was devastating.
My hope wasn't all gone though, that hat could have well been rite out of the ditch for all I knew. I stood up to go check but fell right back down. My bucking legs were hurting real bad when I tried to stand. I think I must have landed or caught them on something when I fell, that's before I lost my senses.
Now I was losing hope. What was I doing? Why was I going to Canterlot? What was the point of it all!?
With out my mane all matted I tried to stand. I rose slowly, ignoring the pain. I made sure to grab my saddlebag that had fallen off, and spilt some apples. After I had put my saddlebag on I started to look around, surely, hopefully my hat was there somewhere. It wasn't, nor was my last piece of emotional attachment to the world I once knew.
The rain soaked me but there was no stopping that. There was no shelter, no protection from my hat. I had no home to stay in, no bed to lie in. There truly nothing left but pain, misery, and nothingness itself. I was cold from the rain.
I wasn't thirsty anymore.
I stopped my crying; it was getting me nowhere, and helping me with nothing. I ate an apple; it was nice and juicy, sour, but sweet. It helped me regain my lost energy. With a bit of a limp I carried on, through the rain, through the night, the seemingly endless night.
Time didn't matter anymore, only what was left, and what might be. The thought of there being something in Canterlot was only ever so slightly reassuring. Everything could have faded to black at that point for all I cared. All I want to know were the answers; who…? Why….? How…? What pony would ever do this, what cruel heartless incentives do they have.
There was no more that day, or rather; night, just walking. Walking under the night skies and full moon I realized; nothing actually mattered to me anymore, for that day, was the day I died… on the inside.
Blink.
Regardless whether it was dark or not, I had leave. Too much time was taken recuperating lost memories, staying with Spike, seeing him, seeing home; there was nothing but remorse.
On the streets of Ponyville again were the bodies. I had almost forgotten they were alive once; they didn't matter to me though. Yes they were ponies and yes they were important to somepony but, not to me, no, I wanted somepony special, I wanted the pony that did this all. My remorse turned into rage, the exact thoughts were buzz in my mind, a constant irritant, I knew it would stop till it was all over and I got what I wanted.
Canterlot was my only hope. I could see it in the distance, and to be honest it seemed worse for ware, but then again it was home to Celestia and Luna, and even my brother and parents. Everypony left that I cared for, with the questionable uncertainty of whether they were dead, was in Canterlot.
As I was about to leave it started to rain. There came a green glow from upstairs; though Spike was dead, his magical essence still had some time before it would die out. Spike's magic was limited at best, but there was one thing that he was really good at. I put my journey on hold for a minute as I went upstairs to go investigate. At first glance everything seemed the same; Spike still lay peacefully in the bed, which was neatly made, and the room was in the same state I had left it in. Being skeptical I thought that surely I hadn't mistaken myself, and I hadn't, I definitely did see something
I walked up to Spike, the source of the glowing. Small amounts of green smoke were seeping out of his mouth, spilling onto the floor. The smoke didn't not rise because it was magic, but because it was cold, those were the final flames of this dragon. On the floor next to Spike, besides the bed, was something that I almost missed, it was so small that it was not something to notice at first glance. Spilling over the bed and onto the floor the hazy green smoke blanketed a rolled up parchment. I had never received letters from anypony but Celestia before, which could only mean one thing, that letter that I saw on the ground, was either a last letter Spike left me for when he died, or it was from the only other person who could send letters this way.
I edged closer, I sought the knowledge of what the letter was but I was afraid for a while to pick it up, lest it hold some unbearable truth. There was no royal seal on the letter, and the reason it was rolled up seemed to be because of dried blood that it was sprinkled with. Something was truly ominous about the letter, but I couldn't wait any longer. Levitating it out of the green fog that strewn across the floor I brought the letter up to my face; flecks of blood and parchment flew off as I did. I opened the parchment and braced myself for what I might inside, but it was nothing like I expected, though I don't really know what I expected. With a look of shock horror I finished the Letter. Filled with rage and other emotions; I finally learnt the truth.
For a second Twilight's mane was ablaze, and amidst the flames a bright purple spark from her horn eclipsed the room. When the light restored she was gone.
Limp.
I awoke from my unconsciousness. It was still dark out. The rain had stopped, but not the bleeding. Beneath me was a small pool of blood; it had painted my blue coat a deep red. My mane was wet a frazzled from the rainfall, though it too became a monochromic red. My colorful spectrum of coating was gone, and I felt I ceased to be the same pony.
Slowly I rose to my feet. The blood dripped from me like an ink stain on a paper; myself being the words, I was incomprehensible, my writing was meaningless, and I was nothing but messed up lines with scratches through it. As I rose, the pain started to bloom. It came from my wing but spread all the way to my legs. I shakily remain in one place, my legs were not able to move and flying was not an option.
I moved. It was only a small step, but the pain jolted through me. Another movement, and I heard a rip; the cuts were ripping, going bigger. My wing had already lost all connection, and all I got from it was pain. My wing stuck out to one side; I tried to pull it in closer so it would be of less stress, and less likely to rip, unfortunately, it was well and truly broken, I could not move it. With my foreleg, in attempt to shut the wing, I moved it backwards, and pushed my wing to a close. I could feel the bones hitting each other, I could feel the cuts pushing together and closing. It was a horrifying experience, and in turn I let out a scream of immense pain.
But I wasn't about to let myself die in a ditch, not after all that has happened, not after everything Equestria had been through. With all the strength left in my body and with all the willpower I could obtain, I forced my legs to move, one step at a time. Bearing through the pain I climbed forward, trying and willing myself out of the ditch. The climb was though and all the while I felt my bone splintering, my wing tearing at the opening. There was no way to describe the pain.
I finally made it. I hobbled onto the road, a bloodied mess. I thought the road would fare better travel than the ground below, but it seem it would make no difference. The road was just as much ground as the ground was road. I became frustrated, everything was wrong, nothing was worked; even I was broken. With a wail of discontent, spite and malice toward whoever was responsible for this all, I, in my mangled state broke down and cried.
Through the tears and blood that ran over my eyes, I was barely able to see the fragmented road ahead in the nighttime. I looked ahead, with my blurred vision I looked off towards Cloudsdale; there was no way I was getting there now. I turned my head to look back.
As Rainbow Dash looked down the road something caught her eye. A bit of colour flew onto the road carried by the wind. It wasn't a figment of imagination either. A brown object sat in the middle of the road a few tens of feet away. Rainbow stopped crying for a second, her sorrow was counteracted by curiosity. There was something familiar about it but from the distance she was at it was indistinguishable. She wanted to get closer and see what it was, though unfortunately, as much as she wanted to move, her limbs would not allow it.
Bare.
Minimum movement came from my bucking legs; slowly I had allotted most of my energy to keep them going. Though at first glance my injuries seem superficial, they were quite substantial; none were deep or life threatening but the sheer amount of cuts and bruises left me limping. I had been walking for a little while and it had stopped raining. But even though it had stopped raining, the night was cold and without my hat my head was bear. The wind gusted and chilled the top of my head, as my mane blew quite uncontrollably; if Rarity was still there to see that she would have dropped dead anyways. My looks were not faring quite well I realised.
I looked down at the ground to a puddle to see my reflection. I was not the same mare I was before. My hat was gone, my hair was looking an awful lot like Pinkies, which made me chuckle slightly before it made me sad again. I was covered in dirt, mud, dead leaves and twigs, and through my coat, my skin was a mess of purple, red, and black, the scratches on my face appeared too, give me a rugged and worn profile; in all it looked like I had been through a lot and had seen the majority of my days. I would sometimes, before all this happened, think about how I would look when I got older, I believe I was not far from how I could be.
Often times, when dogs get sick, they go away, and find a place to die alone, in peace. Though not that I need find a place to be alone, for obvious reasons, the thought of being at peace did not sound so bad. Suicide was becoming a prominent idea in my head, and to be honest I was slowly, starting to really consider it, but then I heard it.
There was some noise, and it wasn't coming from any of the dead scenery, no, this was an unnatural noise, something you wouldn't find out here. It sounded like crying. The noise was very much so distinguishable; it was somepony in pain. It was somepony in pain! I was not the only one alone, somepony else survived!
I had to find whoever it was! I had to find them and help them, they were screaming and crying in pain. The sounds of desperation echoed over the sides of the dead forest coming from the road some distance behind me. I turned and ran towards the noise.
Applejack ran back through the forest as fast as Rainbow Dash could fly. She ran faster, though carefully avoiding anything that might lead to another injury. The sound was becoming more predominant, and the question still posed to Applejack was; who was it that survived?
Applejack came back onto the road. At first glance there was nothing ahead of her, but through the crooked and uplifted layers of the road, Applejack spotted a red pony lying on the ground, wailing in what seemed to be terror; though pain was the probable reason. The red mare did not see Applejack coming, not could she hear her. Furthermore, slightly beyond the red pony was something oddly familiar to Applejack, unbeknownst to her that object was her hat, and that pony was none other than Rainbow dash. Applejack was about to call out to the distressed rainbow dash when she managed to get stopped right in her tracks.
Bump.
Applejack smacked into something that sent her falling backwards. Ahead of her was an explosion of bright light mostly purple of tint.
Twilight's telewalking didn't have the greatest blink distance, though one might now consider that a good thing. From her house, Twilight had been jumping the short distances along the road to Canterlot, the presumably easiest way to walk. Caught by surprise of running into something in the middle of the road, Twilight too found herself on the ground.
It had been a complete stroke of luck. It was lucky enough that Applejack had found one pony, in the first place, but now two? Somehow, with all the odds that were stacked against them, with all chances they had to meet before, and yet didn't, and with all the beliefs in their minds that told them they were the last ponies alive, each individually, managed to find their own way to the random desolate piece of road they were on.
"Ow, what was that?" Twilight asked herself, unaware yet that in front of her, as well as another behind her, lay her friend. Though Applejack, was still in quite a daze.
Hearing a familiar voice, Applejack, shook the daze off and looked up. She could not believe her eyes. It was a friend! Not some red pony in the middle of the street, but a friend, her friend! And though she would not say this in front of her other friends, would they still be alive; her most intelligible friend, though that thought was not commonly disputed. It was Twilight. She looked a bit banged up, with a couple of bruises here and there, and was in need of a brush, but it was with out a doubt, Twilight. Her cutie mark confirmed it.
"Praise my lucky stars..." Said Applejack, awestruck, "Twilight, please tell me I'm not dreaming... is that really you?"
Twilight still caught in her own haze, too heard the familiar voice of a friend, an impossibility she would assume if she had not looked up to see for her self that right there, right before her eyes, was an orange mare, known to her by none other than the name: Applejack.
She could not respond to Applejack's question, it seemed that her brain just shut off, refusing to implement any logic to the odds of this situation occurring. A look of dumbfounded happiness amidst confusion started to spread on the faces of both mares. It took another moment of silent confusion, staring, examining, detailing and reassuring the fact somehow a friend actually sat in front of them, and that it was all not just a mad dream before Twilight was able to form any sort of response.
"I suppose so..." Replied Twilight, though not in any matter of factual sort of way, no, her voice sounded conflicted as if wondering she herself was actually Twilight.
Neither pony knew how to react, neither pony knew if it was real, though the fact that conversation had occurred would suggest so. Since neither knew how to engage in conversation at this point, it fell silent once again. At least it would, if not for a pony, one temporarily forgotten, who was seemingly wailing in pain. The noise of sharp screaming slowly reached both Applejack and Twilight's ears. With some time to process said sound, there was no time to converse with one another, nor was there time to figure out if either one was real or an apparition, a figure of one's imagination, no, there was somepony in pain, somepony who needed help.
The pony lay a few good meters away, roughly 100. Applejack and Twilight had gotten up and instinctively started running towards the sound.
"I sure hope that's you, Twi." Applejack whispered to herself.
___
Rainbow Dash was trying to cry away the pain. She knew that she needed help, but from who? There was no one alive besides her, or at least to her knowledge, and in her current state there was no notion of helping ones' self, as what would that be to?
Rainbow's eyes were watery when she saw something of colour drift passed her a few feet down the road. Words to describe what Rainbow thought would probably be 'intriguing' or 'curious'. Nothing she had seen so far of this new world possessed any other colour than black, or at least variations of the color tone, therefore it must have indeed be very confusing to Rainbow to see such a thing.
She stopped crying for a second, it was only momentarily, but after a few attempts she stopped. After clearing her eyes, Rainbow could see that what was in front of her was brown, a brown hat; a very familiar looking brown hat. Tears again filled Rainbow's eyes, she did not know what emotion to feel, nor how to react, though she was nearly on the verge of laughing. She was almost laughing not because it was funny in any way, but because she thought life, or whatever god above controlling this entire ordeal, was playing a cruel joke on her; that this was nothing but a mind trick.
"Oh I see how it goes, hehehe." Rainbow Dash yelled through her cries ending in a maniacal laugh. She was being pushed to the brink of insanity.
Rainbow Dash knew that there was a limit to the physical pain that she could endure, and that had not reached her limit. However there was also a limit to the mental stress she could bare, and this hat, this tiny sliver or what one would normally perceive as hope pushed her over that limit.
Without reason in mind Rainbow Dash stood up. It was too abrupt and the wounds were still open. Her wing, already being dislocated, fell down against her body, seemingly ready to be severed. The blood oozed and the cut grew, but Rainbow could not feel the pain, the hat was too much of a distraction, the hat was the only thing in her mind. Everything, not even the pain, nor the sound of hooves behind her, could distract Rainbow from the hat.
With her certainty that the hat was some sort of testament to her insanity, Rainbow walked forwards. If the hat were real, there would be a reason for it being here, if it wasn't real, then maybe everything else wasn't either. With seeming ease she walked, without the pain it wasn't so bad. But that's what she thought.
The damaged wing dragged along the ground hitting every bump and indent, and with every one it dragged lower and lower. The wing was tearing itself off. It was already disconnected from the socket, and the skin was already ripped; with it dragging along the road, the situation was right for that to happen. If it kept up, Rainbow would lose a wing, forever…
___
Two ponies watching in horror saw and heard the red pony, though it was becoming obvious that it was not a naturally red coat and mane laugh, become silent, stand, and walk toward the object Applejack had determined as her hat, however that was not what was horrifying. What was shocking was that now they had a clear view of the injuries, especially the tearing wing.
Applejack and Twilight's faces scrunched up in disgust. They had a clear view of the wing tearing, slowly pulling itself off the Pegasus' body. The monotonous walk of Pegasus made it looks as though the Pegasus didn't even seem to notice its own wing getting ripped off it's body!
It fell. Not the Pegasus, not some tree in the general vicinity, no, it was the wing. The wing had fallen right of the Pegasus' body. It lay dead on the ground, and as Twilight and Applejack got closer, they could see the good amount of skin that came off with it.
They reached the Pegasus. What they could see was the layer of deep red blood actually covered a once blue tinted fur, very cyan like. More interesting though was the Pegasus' man. Under the red, it became visible that the mare's mane had not one, not two, but six different shades of colour! It was a rainbow coloured mane, and there was only one pony that they knew who had a rainbow coloured mane: Rainbow Dash.
Twilight, being the quicker of the two to pick up on the fact that it was Rainbow Dash who just had her wing severed from her body was the first to yell, "Rainbow, is that you?" They were well in hearing distance and she still needed to clarify whether it was Rainbow or not.
Rainbow did not take notice to the question, instead she collapsed to the floor; a loss of blood being the reason. While passing out Rainbow looked up and through the slits of vision she had, she saw faces, two of them in fact: Applejack and Twilight. Rainbow figured that she was seeing those who were important to her, some sort apparitions, greeting her into the next world. Soon everything was fading and two faces became four, became six, became 8. She soon saw all her friends; her family was there too.
Everything was so peaceful to her. At that point in time there was not a single care in the world for her. Her perception of reality had broken.
Searching.
Rainbow awoke. She was not in the place she passed out, and she was barely hanging on. Her eyes were opening and closing drearily, the bursts of light she saw every so often continuously changed the environment around her.
Twilight was exhausted, but they had finally made it. Pushing herself to the limit, Twilight, had teleported the party of three bit by bit over the road to Canterlot. They were situated in the Canterlot library, the final point of Twilight's teleports. Observing their surroundings, Twilight could not help but notice that the Library seemed to be faring quite well. In fact, as Twilight took a gander out the window to the rest of the city below, the entire city seemed to be faring ok, it was very eerie. The masses amount of destruction that had been seen in Ponyville and the immediate area were not present in inner Canterlot; the damage they had seen from the distance was on the exterior, it probably came from surrounding blasts, not a direct hit. Even though the buildings still stood, and the grass was still green, or at the very least a sort greenish brown, the ponies were still dead. Dozens lay sprawled out on the street, they were neither charred nor brunt, instead they lay there rotting, they looked almost mummified. It was really intriguing that they lay outside dead. Judging by the fact that it seemed to be a poison that had caused the deaths, one would think people would be in bed, mistaking it for illness. The only other reason would be if the poison took instantaneous effect, why else would the dead ponies had continued their day to day lives, as if it was all the same; granted they didn't look unhappy. In any case, if it were an instantaneous poison the group would have to be careful.
Twilight and Applejack knew and expressed their concerns about their other, dying friend. Because of such concerns, neither had the clear conscious to converse with one another, their minds were clouded by the thought of losing yet another friend, and no less, losing said friend in person; to be there, to have had let that happen. Though nothing was said, they did have the same thoughts; they knew this.
There was no time wasted, and there was no time to lose, in the library Twilight had one thing to say, "Applejack, I know that's you, and you know that I'm me, and even if this is some weird crazy dream," She said, motioning her hoof in a circle movement by the side of her head, "you know as well as I do that that is Rainbow Dash over there, and that we need to do something about… well something about that!" Twilight ended pointing in disgust at the ripped side of Rainbow Dash.
Applejack nodded in accordance, though her face suggested that her mind was blank, and that the nod was automatic.
"Look Applejack, get this through your head: WE BEAT THE ODDS! Somehow we managed to survive. Somehow we managed to meet, but none of the matters, not if we don't do something about Rainbow RIGHT NOW! It's our responsibility!
"I need you to help me, I have things to tell you, but not now; now I need you to help me help Rainbow. The first thing we need to do is stop the bleeding. Currently we're in the Royal Canterlot Library, its adjacent to the Canterlot Archives, I assume you know where we are.
"We need some sort of cloth to wrap around Rainbow's body, it'll apply pressure which may hurt, but more importantly it'll stop the bleeding. We need that absorbent; I don't think she can lose much more. She's close to gone so go now. I will go to the archives; there might be a scroll of magic on restoration. I might not be able to reattach her wing, but I might be able to close up that wound."
Twilight had withheld the information from the letter; she thought it to be best. She thought that the telling Applejack the truth right now would only break her, and lose their chance at saving Rainbow.
She dug through the multitudes of scrolls that were in the Archives. The scrolls were stacked, hundreds upon hundreds per shelf. They were all so neatly kept. Using magic, Twilight was throwing the scrolls all over the room, grabbing new ones every few seconds, she had yet to find rejuvenation spell of some sorts. If Pinkie were there the task would have surely been quicker, knowing that pony's uncanny luck for finding things.
Thinking of Pinkie Pie made Twilight extend her thoughts to Applejack and Rainbow Dash. She wondered how they were so lucky, if you could call it that. She wondered why they had beat the odds, how come they had survived? And what were the chances that it had been them, specifically them, three very close friends; it must have been one in a million, it'd have been much more likely to have met a stranger rather than each other, but they didn't. Twilight didn't know whether to feel happy or sad about the fact that they had met. Yes it meant that they were not alone any more; that they did not have to live out the rest of their day in solitude, free to a barren world, however… Now they had met, it would mean devastation if one would leave. Consider all of them had accepted the fact that each other were dead, how could they live through losing somepony twice. It meant that in the end, there would still be one of them, one who would have to bear the pain of watching the other two pass away, until the likes of death came for them.
In the end it would just be a tragedy. In the end they would die either way. In the end would it not better to have not met at all? Truth be told, all of it could be disputed, there would never be an end. All Twilight knew for now was, that before she could be happy, or at the very least at some ease, she would need to find a spell that would heal Rainbow: now that they were together she was not about to just let Rainbow slip through her hooves, no matter what. Not even because of the letter, that could wait. Twilight continued her searching.
Applejack went over what Twilight had said; it was true, they had beaten the odds, and in more ways than one. She wasn't a betting horse but, if there had been a chance, she would not have put money on their luck. Twilight's words rung in her ears, she spoke the truth; it wouldn't matter if they were alive if they could not stop themselves from dying. Applejack needed to get moving, Rainbow Dash needed her help.
The walls of the library were barren at best; an odd picture was hung here and there to brighten up the place. However, from where Applejack's point of view she could not see the walls, instead she was roaming between the shelves and down the isles, between the bookcases. She walked down the isles to find their ends; she hoped that somewhere down one of them there would be some sort cloth, a tapestry or anything, anything but the curtains. Though the curtains were an obvious source of cloth, it was too thick, too heavy to wrap around Rainbow, as well as too large. The shelves Applejack found herself between practically formed a maze, a physical maze as it were, though if one were to try to read, and no less comprehend every single book there, one could also call it a mental maze, either way, it was all too easy to get lost between the shelves.
Unlike normal libraries where the isles are lined up row-by-row like a grid, and the bookcases are barely higher than a full-grown alicorn, the Royal Canterlot library was much different. The bookcases towered high above any alicorn would ever grow, as if the sky was their ceiling, and in some areas where light was sparse, it became a challenge to see the books upon the higher of shelves. Besides the sizes of the bookcases, the mapping of the library itself was not what you would expect. The was no logic to the layout of the library, though Princess Celestia always insisted that back in the days, a thousand years ago or so, this layout made perfect sense. A thousand years ago was the age of odd Magicks, and perhaps if one were to map out the library it would bear some significance, but in all honesty even that was too confusing to even comprehend. It was best to just test your luck, and hope you come across what you're looking for; that's exactly what Applejack did.
___
Left alone on the floor, Rainbow Dash stayed in her dying state. She was conscious of her surroundings yet unconscious to what was happening to her. The bleeding had slowed and she was growing quite pale. Even through the red that stained her coat, the loss of blood was very clear; the patches of blue that did spot through were no longer their bright cyan colour, they had turned to a greyer shade, the kind of colour you would see the sky be on an overcast day. There was not much time left for Rainbow, if something was not done very soon, it would spell the inevitable death.
Eyes peered into the room; eyes of blue; eyes of malice; eyes of terror. The smell of blood rose in the air as the eyes were attracted to the body on the floor; was it dead, or alive? Whatever the case, certainly hadn't been there before, they thought. Ghostly mist, bluish of colour, seeped through the open doo, where the eyes watching. Slowly the mist engulfed the floor around Rainbow. She vanished and back at the door the eyes were gone too.
