Chapters "Friends are like stars.
They come and go,
But the ones that stay
Are the ones that glow."
~ Roxy Quicksilver
Squids, the ugliest and most useless mob in all of Minecraft. You'll probably never find anything more annoying, either. However, Minecraft has something so majestic, so beautiful, that it more than makes up for the evil that is the squid. You may know it as gold, but in this story, we'll call it butter.
King Squid had an appearance that might confuse you. On one hand, he was clearly a squid, tentacles and all, but on the other hand, his body was not blue, but the majestic color of butter! He was taller than most squids. In fact, the only reason he was king was because he was bigger than every other squid.
King Squid was in a shallow tub of water with his two most trusted companions, Chad and Steve. The tub was located in a super secret lab, deep below the surface of the Overworld. The lab was full of buttons and levers, most of which did absolutely nothing.
"God, I'm beautiful!" Said King Squid.
"Yes sir, you certainly are!" Chad agreed.
"Thank you, Chad," said the king, "I always did enjoy your compliments."
"You are the most beautiful squid in Minecraft, sir!" Said Steve.
"Steve, don't be a kiss-ass!" The king ordered. "Anyway, now that we've gotten my beauty out of the way, let's move on to the subject of my evil plan. My ultimate evil machine of doom is now fully charged!"
"What does the machine do, oh great and powerful one?" Asked Chad.
"I don't know exactly," the king admitted. "Whatever it is, I'm sure that it's evil!"
Steve asked, "What about Sky and his friends?"
"Shut up, Steve!" Said the king.
Chad asked, "What about Sky and his friends?"
"That is an excellent question, Chad, you beautiful, majestic creature, you!" Said the king. "But we needn't worry about them. I have protected this lab with an unbeatable parkour map. If they wish to enter here, they must complete the most impossible jumps of their lives!"
"My king, I hear something," Steve warned.
"No one cares, Steve!" The king said bitterly.
"My king, I hear something," Chad warned.
"Really?" The king asked. "Be quiet everyone, we need to listen closely."
Faint voices could be heard from beyond the lab's iron doors.
"TY! PUT THE TNT DOWN!"
"Do it, Ty, do it!"
"Stop encouraging him, Kuledud3!"
"I'm gonna do it!"
"TY! Think about what you're doing!"
"I don't want to do dis map any more!"
"Shit! Everybody take cover!"
'BOOM!' A loud explosion sounded, shaking the entire complex. The entire wall around the doors to the lab was hit by the pressure wave of an earth shattering explosion that reduced it all to a pile of rubble. On the other side of the wall were the completely ruined remains of a parkour map with shattered stone and smoldering wood covering the ground of a hollowed out crater. Amid the rubble and fire were three, cube-like men. Skythekidrs, Deadlox, TrueMU, Antvenom, Bodil40, and Kuledud3, the squids knew their faces well.
"Is anyone going to explain how we survived that?" Asked TrueMU.
"Magics," said Bodil.
Sky unsheathed a shining butter sword and extended it toward the king squid, who was on the opposite side of the lab. He said, "Hey guys, Sky here, and I'm here with Kuledud3, Antvenom, TrueMU, Deadlox and BODIL40! And today we are going to beat the ever loving crap out of the squid army!"
"You wouldn't hit a squid made of butter, would you?" Asked the king.
"You're full of crap!" Said Sky.
"I have fused my own squid DNA with that of butter! Making me the most powerful squid in all of Minecraft! I can absorb energy, summon more squids, and even breath out of water!"
"You combined butter with squid!?" Sky said in shock. "You sick monster!"
"I'm afraid you're too late to stop me, Sky!" Said King Squid. "My team of evil scientists have completed the ultimate evil machine of doom! Muhuhuhahaha!"
"You don't have any scientists!" Sky yelled.
Deadlox agreed, "Yeah, you're just a bunch of stupid squids!"
"Oh yeah?" Said the king in much the same way a toddler would. "If we didn't have scientists, then where did that offensive German stereotype come from?"
There was a small tank on a balcony in the back of the lab with one squid in it who appeared to be wearing a squid shaped lab coat. "Ve vill serve ze fuhrer to our last, dying breath!" The squid yelled in an angry German accent.
"That doesn't really prove anything..." Said Antvenom.
"It doesn't matter if you believe me or not," said the squid king. He extended one, massive tentacle out of his tank and wrapped it around the handle of a lever. The lever was labeled "DUME!!!" It was attached to a large metal box that looked like a giant copying machine. The king continued, "You've been messing with the squid army for long enough! It's time for you to taste our vengeance!"
TrueMU drew out a diamond sword and held it out in a defensive stance. The other four, who still hasn't drawn their swords, did the same. For some reason, Kuledud3's sword was just a wooden stick.
"What? Real swords are expensive, okay?" Kuledud3 said defensively.
"You don't actually think you can win, do you?" Asked Steve.
"You think you're tough?" Antvenom asked, waving his butter sword. "HIT ME!"
"Mein fuhrer, ze machine iz fully operational!" Shouted the angry, German squid.
"Well, I'd love to stay and chat," said King Squid, "but I need to put my vaguely evil plan into action. Now witness the power of this fully armed and operational battle station!" He pulled the lever theat he had been holding. Nothing happened.
Sky and his friends waited a few seconds for something to happen. When nothing did, Sky said, "Is that... Is that it? That's your evil machine!?"
"Give it a second," said the squid king, "It's operating on a really old version of Windows. It takes a while to boot up."
Everyone waited a few more seconds before a loud humming sound came out of the squid's machine.
"There it goes!" Said the king.
Purple bolts of electricity fired out from the machine, hitting the walls and floors.
"What does that thing do?" Asked Sky, shouting, so that he could be heard over the loud noise.
"I... Don't know," said the king.
"WHAT!?" The six Minecrafters said in unison.
A bolt of electricity struck the king squid, and he started to scream, but he was also glowing bright yellow and growing rapidly! His size doubled in just a few seconds before his growing slowed. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" The squids screamed.
"MY EVERYTHING BURNS!!!" King Squid yelled.
Kuledud3 was watching this calmly and said, "So... That happened."
Two of the electric bolts hit each other in mid air. They created a ball of energy in between them that grew larger and larger as more bolts connected with it. The ball of purple energy formed itself into a four, purple portal blocks, two blocks wide and two blocks tall.
"How did this happen?" Asked Sky. "This is like one of Bodil's maps! It makes no sense!"
The portal created a gravitational pull that sucked in Steve, Chad, the German squid and the king like a vacuum cleaner collecting dust. The king could barely fit through the portal, and the last thing he said before he disappeared was "This is somehow Steve's fault!!!!!"
Sky and his friends were trying to resist the pull at first, until Sky said, "Don't resist it! Jump into the portal!" He jumpes headfirst into the portal, crying, "FOR BUTTER!"
Kule, Ant, and Bodil jumped in imediately after him. True lifted his shoulders and shook his head. "Why?" He asked as he watched his friends jump in willingly for no adequately explained reason.
Deadlox shouted, "We do dis!" And he jumped, grabbing True and taking him through the portal with him.
The lab was empty. The chaos created by the machine had ceased, and all that was left was the square portal and the ravaged laboratory.
_________________________________________________
It was the perfect day in ponyville for a picnic. Twilight, AJ, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity and Pinkie Pie were sitting on a red and white checkered quilt.
Although the day was pretty, boring would also be a good word to describe it. The six mares were attempting to entertain themselves with a game of cards.
"Knight to E5!" Said Pinkie as she laid down her cards for the others to see, three 2's one ace and a king. "Bingo! King me! Back to square one!"
"Pinkie... What game is it that you think we're playing?" Asked Twilight.
Pinkie grunted and buried her face into the quilt. "I don't know," she said, "something boring!"
"HEY!" An unfamiliar voice called to them from a river behind their picnic sight.
Pinkie immediately shot up when she heard this. "Who was that?" She asked.
"Sounded like it was coming from the river," said Rainbow Dash, gesturing over her shoulder to the water. The river extended across the center of Ponyville, and there was only one wooden bridge in the town that crossed over it.
"I suppose we should go take a look at it," said Rarity, who was just as desperate for something to do as everyone else.
The six stood up and casually trotted toward the river. Once the were half way there, and the river was only a few meters away, they heard the voice again. "HEEEEEEY!"
"Hi!" Pinkie replied cheerfully. She hopped ahead of her friends and looked at the river. Her smile quickly turned into a frown. She leaped backward and latched onto Applejack's neck. "MONSTER!!!!" She yelled, nervously extending one hoof into the direction of a rectangular, pixelated, blue cephalopod with eight tentacles.
"Oh that's not a monster," Fluttershy said confidently. "That's a..." She paused to look at the squidlike creature. "That's a... Oh my, I have no idea what that is."
Rainbow Dash and Rarity spoke at the same time, "It's so..."
"...square!" Said Rainbow Dash.
"Tacky!" Said Rarity. She turned to AJ, who still had Pinkie clinging to her neck. "Applejack, your pesticides haven't been getting in water, have they?"
"Ah do not use pesticides!" AJ said angrily.
"I know a nosey, diary reading kitten who says otherwise. Meow!"
Applejack's face became hot red, she looked away from Rarity and back at the water.
"So, does anyone know what that thing is?" Twilight asked.
"I'M A SQUID!" Said the squid in an obnoxious tone.
"A... Talking squid?" Twilight said with a mixture of confusion and skepticism.
"Nature is so fascinating!" Fluttershy commented.
"HEY!" The squid called out.
"Um yes?" Twilight replied.
"PAY ATTENTION TO ME!"
"We are..."
"PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME!!!"
Twilight looked to Fluttershy, who seemed to be just as confused.
"I'M A TALKING SQUID!"
"Haven't we already established that?" Rainbow Dash said annoyed.
"PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" The squid demanded again.
A second squid appeared from underneath the first one and rose to the surface. Then a third one came. Then a fourth one. The mane six couldn't think of anything to do but watch as the squids multiplied in this manner until the river was overflowing with squids. Every squid was shouting the same obnoxious phrases. "HEY!" "I'M A SQUID!" "PAY ATTENTION TO ME!"
"And of course, they multiply," said Twilight sarcastically, "After all, why should we ever be allowed to have a normal day?"
The squids were still multiplying, filling in every square inch of water. Fluttershy was hovering above them and pleading, "Oh! Please stop multiplying! If you keep this up, there will be no room for you or the other fish!" The squids didn't stop. "Oh my goodness!"
The other five were having much the same reaction you would expect from something like this. They were staring slack jawed and dumbfounded. "I know I should be taking this seriously," said Twilight, "but it's really hard to."
___________________________________________________
Not too far away, six cube shaped appeared a few feet in the air and immediately fell to the ground. "JASON HELP ME!" Sky shouted before slamming face first into the ground.
They lifted their square heads and started to stand back up. Deadlox was still holding onto TrueMU.
"You can let go of me, Ty," said True.
"No! I'm scared!" Said Deadlox. He squeezed Jason tighter and whispered, "You're soft..." True immediately pushed him off.
Antvenom saw Ponyville on the horizon, they weren't very far outside of town. He asked, "Why is everything so... Smooth?"
Kuledud3 looked at Ponyville as well, he was the only one that recognized where they were. "Um... Guys, I think I know where we are..."
Author's Note
Kuledud3's a brony IRL.
Truelox
"Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have your nonsense respected"
~ Charles Lamb
As luck would have it, King Squid, Steve, Chad, and the angry German squid landed in a lake outside of Canterlot. The lake was filled with other minecraft squids who were swimming around and spouting their annoying phrases.
"It sure is lucky that we landed in water," said Steve.
"Oh my god, would you shut up for like, five seconds, Steve?" Said the king. "All you do is talk talk talk and you never say anything useful!"
"It sure is lucky that we landed in water," said Chad.
"I completely agree," said the king.
"Ve vill claim zis land in ze name of ze fuhrer!" The German squid announced. "Seig Hail!"
"Melisa, you aren't German," said Chad.
"Does anyone know where all of these other squids came from?" asked the king.
Steve thought carefully before giving an answer, "If I were to guess, I'd say it has something to do with that lab accident."
"Steve, who gave you permission to talk?" The king asked.
"I think it has something to do with that lab accident that happened when we made the portal," said Chad.
"My god, you're right!" The king exclaimed. "That machine didn't just make me bigger, it gave me new powers! my presence alone can corrupt this world with squids! Soon, the squid army will encompass this entire world!"
"And then what?" asked Chad.
"MORE SQUIDS!" The king quickly answered.
"I like ze vay he sinks!" Said Melisa.
_______________________________________________
"MY LITTLE PONY WORLD!?!?" Deadlox exclaimed in shock after hearing Kuledud3 explain where he knew they were. "NO! NO! NO! DON'T DO DIS! GOD, WHY YOU DO DIS?"
"It's beautiful!" Said Sky.
"It's girlie!" Said Ty. "It's got frickin' sunshine and rainbows everywhere!"
Sky repeated, "So... F**king... Beautiful!"
"Kind of makes you wonder why our world is so shitty, huh?" Asked Kuledud3.
"Yeah..." said Sky as he looked out on the beautiful horizon, "it really does..."
"So, are we gonna do anything?" Jason broke in.
"Well, it can't be that hard to get a portal back home if the squids could do it," Antvenom reasoned.
"But, didn't the squids do it on accident?" Bodil added.
"Well yeah, but they still did it, and they must be here somewhere."
"What makes you automatically assume that the squids got teleported to the same world we did?" Asked TrueMU.
Kuledud3 screamed, "JASON, SHUT THE F**K UP AND DON'T INTERRUPT YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! ...Continue Antvenom."
Jason did not respond. Antvenom awkwardly continued. "Okay... So if the squids can mess all this up, they can fix it, right?"
"No! No! Ant, that idea was bad and you should feel bad!" Said Sky. "We are not getting help from the squids!"
Antvenom hung his head in shame. "Your right," he said. "What was I thinking!"
"You weren't thinking! That's the problem," said Sky.
"Yeah, think before you say things next time," said Bodil.
"Oh, you shut up, Bodil," said Sky, "you are the last person who should be making fun of anyone's reasoning skills!"
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Don't act like you don't know!"
"SKYDIL40!" Deadlox blurted.
"Jesus Christ, Ty, would you stop shipping us!" Sky barked.
"Never!" Said Deadlox. He crouched down and backed up into the shadows cast by the overhanging trees.
"I think we've waisted enough time here," said Kuledud3. "We should go into Ponyville and..."
"The name of the town is Ponyville?" Bodil repeated. "That's so dumb!"
"And this is coming from the guy who's username is Bulgarian for cactus!" Said Kuledud3. "That's right, I did my research!"
"You guys are being so mean today!" Said Bodil.
Sky patted him on the shoulder and said, "It's okay, Bodil. We don't mean it."
"SKYDIL40!" Deadlox blurted again.
Sky quickly fell into a fit of rage. "Deadlox, I swear to butter! If you do that one more time, I will beat you!"
Deadlox couldn't control himself and yelled, "SKYLOX!"
"That's it!" Sky said. He took out his butter sword and charged at Deadlox.
"No wait! DON'T DO DIS!" Deadlox pleaded as he ran in the opposite direction.
"We're gonna fail, aren't we?" Said Jason as he watched Sky chase him.
"If we do succeed, it's gonna take a really long time," Antvenom replied.
__________________________________________________
The squids in the river had stopped multiplying, mostly due to the fact that there was no room left for them to fit. The water level had nearly doubled in depth and it was all filled with squids.
The mane six where still trying to soak this all in. Only a few minutes earlier, they had been having a normal, boring picnic; and now, squids. Just squids. First picnic, then squids. Squids were what was happening.
Twilight tried to think of what to say, but failed several times before completing her sentence. "I don't... What did... This is... I can't... This is ridiculous!"
The squids, now tired of using their usual annoying phrases, where instead repeatedly shouting the word "squid" over and over again.
"I don't even think they're actually squids," said Fluttershy. "Their eyes are too small in proportion to their bodies, they only have eight tentacles when squids clearly have ten, and they have teeth instead of beaks."
"Whatever they are, they're unsightly!" Rarity scoffed.
"And annoying!" Rainbow Dash said as she tried to cover her ears.
Applejack had enough of their nonstop shouting. "Maybe we can talk about this somewhere a lil more quiet!" She offered.
"That's what I was thinking," Said Twilight. "How about the meadow? That should be far enough away."
"Good idea. Let's go!" Rainbow Dash said impatiently. She immediately started pushing Rarity and Pinkie Pie away from the river to make them move along faster.
"Bye squids!" Pinkie said with a wave.
The six started to walk off, the further away they went, the louder the squids yelled for their attention, but eventually even the squids couldn't yell any louder.
"COME BACK, PURPLE SMART!" One yelled, referring to Twilight.
"PAY ATTENTION TO US!!!"
________________________________________________
The meadow that Twilight was referring to, happened to also be the meadow that Sky and his friends had been teleported to. Seeking a quiet place to talk, the Mane six instead found themselves face to face with six new creatures that were just as strange as the squids. Four of them were staring back at them as soon as they came into view. And one of them appeared to be trying to chase down and kill another one with a metal sword.
They stared at each other. The ponies were staring at what appeared to be bipedal monkey robots without tails that were made of cubes. The four Minecrafters were staring at six magical, technicolored, cartoon horses, some of which had horns and wings. The staring continued.
"This is the coolest thing ever. Of all time!" Said Kuledud3.
Twilight took in a deep breath, then released. "I'm done pretending this is supposed to make sense," she said, finally giving in. "Just tell me what you are, and I'll believe you."
"Let me guess!" Said Pinkie.
"Sure. Why not?" Twilight said complacently.
Pinkie Pie inhaled deeply, then said, "You six are from another world where everything is square and your job is protect everyone from the squids because they're so annoying! And this really, really big squid sent you here with his evil machine and now you have to find that squid somewhere in this world and find a way to get back to your world! Am I right?"
"...I love you," Kuledud3 said quickly.
"What?"
"I said you're right!" Kuledud3 quickly corrected.
"How did she know all of that?" Asked Bodil.
"Is that seriously the thing you choose to question?" Asked Jason.
Before continuing with their conversation, Twilight did the polite thing and introduced her friends by name, first herself, then Applejack, then Pinkie Pie, then Rarity, then Fluttershy and finally Rainbow Dash.
Antvenom did the introductions for his group, luckily, their names were just as silly. "I'm Antvenom. This is True Minecraft Universe, the guy in the space suit. We call him TrueMU for short..."
"MU like a cow?" Pinkie interrupted.
"NO!" Antvenom replied spitefully. "Nothing like a cow! Anyway, the guy with the funny laugh is Bodil. The guy with the green and blue skin is Kuledud3." He turned around and saw Deadlox lying face down in the ground with Sky standing on top of his head.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry! I won't do it again! I'm sorry!" Deadlox promised to Sky.
"Yeah, and those two are Sky and Deadlox," said Antvenom.
Twilight asked, "Do they do that a lo-"
"Yes," Ant quickly answered.
Sky stepped off of Ty and allowed him to stand back up.
Twilight brushed the strangeness off and continued in a professional manner. "Well, now that introductions are out of the way, we should get down to business. You said Pinkie pies story was true. And that means that there really is an evils squid that's been causing all of those... Other squids to show up here."
"You're right so far," said Jason.
"MOO!" The sound of a cow mooing could be heard in the faint distance.
"You guys keep talking. I gotta go do something," Antvenom announced. He ran off in the direction of the sound.
Twilight continued. "Anyway, I think I know what can get rid of this squid problem. And I know someone who can definitely help you get home. But they're a long way away and we'll need supplies if those swords are all you have."
"Oh, don't worry about supplies," said Sky. He casually strolled over to a tree and raised his fist, then punched the tree trunk as hard as he could. He stood still for a moment with everyone staring at him before he yelped in pain and held his right hand with his left. "Holy crap, that hurt!" He cried.
"We could just go into the town," said Deadlox.
"That is a much better idea!"
"True friends stab you in the front."
~ Oscar Wilde
The six element bearers lead the six Minecrafters into Ponyville. Every time Sky and his friends came into sight, everypony would run into their houses and slam their doors. They would have been offended by this if they had been paying enough attention to notice.
Antvenom had a cowbell around his neck, which he insisted he had been wearing the whole time.
When they reached a locked door at the end of the street, Twilight sighed, "Not to be rude, but we probably should have done this without you six. This was the last general store in town and they're locked too! Now I know how Zecora felt."
Deadlox pulled out a solid block of TNT. "Don't worry, I got dis," he said.
"Ty, where did you get that?" Bodil asked.
"It's better if you don't know," said Ty.
Kuledud3 pushed past Ty and stepped in front of the door. "Ty, we need to handle this delicately," he explained. "The ponies here are already scared of us, no need to make things worse." He knocked on the door three times.
As they waited for a response on the other side, Twilight had a feeling of relief brought on by how they were handling the situation. She was glad to see that they could be reasonable.
"We're closed!" A male voice from the other side of the door insisted in a frantic tone. "Go away now! We're out of stock on... Everything! Yes, everything. We'll be getting a shipment at... Some other time. A time that isn't soon!"
Kuledud3 calmly inhaled, held his breath in, then screamed on the top of his lungs, "OPEN THE F**KING DOOR, YOU ABORTION SCRAP PILE OF F**K!!! IF I HAVE TO ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME, I WILL BREAK INTO YOUR HOUSE, AND TEAR YOUR WIFE IN HALF!!!"
The door opened quickly. A very nervous looking, white stallion was the only pony inside. After opening the door, he had backed up to the counter.
"See Ty," said Kuledud3, "TNT can't solve all of your problems, but screaming can."
Twilight shook her head in disappointment. She apologized to the shopkeeper, "Please forgive my friends. They aren't from around here and their manners aren't perfect." This was an obvious understatement, but it also seemed to put the shop keeper at ease. Twilight was somepony everyone in town knew they could trust. If she said they were fine, they were probably fine.
"We'll then, what can I help you... boys with?" The merchant asked pleasantly.
Sky walked up to the counter and laid his blocky elbows on the table. "We need some soy sauce, twelve apples, six pairs of boots, and six yellow berets!"
"What do you need soy sauce for?" Twilight asked.
"It's for when we eat the squids, obviously," said Sky.
Fluttershy gasped.
"Is eating the squids really necessary?" Rainbow asked.
Sky turned to Bodil. "Hey, Bodil, is eating the squids necessary?"
Bodil answered, "Pretty damn crucial, Adam."
Sky turned back to Rainbow Dash. "Bodil says yes," he said.
The shop keeper grabbed all of the items Sky had asked for, including the yellow berets and soy sauce, which he didn't know that he even sold. "That's a lot of stuff you boys are asking for," said the shop keeper, "Are you sure you can pay for all of it?"
Kuledud3 pulled out a raw fish and placed it on the counter. "What could I get if I traded you this raw fish?" He asked.
The shop keeper grabbed the fish and shouted, "TAKE EVERYTHING!!!!" as he tossed the boots and apples to Kuledud3.
_________________________________________________
The squids in the lake near Canterlot were gathered around their king. All of them were looking off at the shoreline, where a tall, unsturdy, wooden tower stood out from the shallow water. It was held together with string. The tower stood up about twenty feet above the surface of the water.
"Gentlemen!" King Squid said, "Behold my wooden tower!"
"Why did we build that?" Asked Chad.
"I don't know," said the king. "It was a pretty big waste of time."
"Yeah, we definitely could have done something better with our time," said Chad. He watched a wooden plank snap off of the center of the tower and fall into the lake. "That thing is defiantly not sturdy."
"It's downright dangerous," said the king, "and if it falls on someone who isn't Steve, I'm gonna be pissed!"
"Boss, why do you hate me so much?" Asked Steve.
"Because I'm tired of your shit, and you never do anything useful!"
Steve defended, "I do useful things! You don't really believe that, do you?"
The king turned to Chad and asked, "Hey, Chad, is Steve useless?"
"Pretty damn pointless, sir," Chad answered.
The king slowly turned back to Steve. "...Chad says yes," the king said.
__________________________________________________
The twelve had exited the shop. The boots fit each minecrafter quite well, which wasn't too odd, considering that, aside from the blockiness, their feet were roughly the same size and shape of hooves. The berets, however, did not fit nearly as well. The minecrafters decided that this was okay since they would have looked silly in them anyway.
"Well, that was... Strange," said Twilight.
"At least we won't have to be in public again until we get to Canterlot," Rarity said optimistically.
Rainbow Dash flew to Twilight and whispered in her ear, "Maybe we should leave those six here. If they keep acting like this, they'll only get in the way!"
Twilight struggled with that thought. She couldn't argue with Rainbow Dash. They would get in the way if that was how they acted all of the time, but she was about to see that even they could be serious when they needed to be.
Sky lifted his butter sword to the the sun, catching everyone else's attention. If he wasn't wearing sunglasses. They would have seen that his eyes were closed. "We may not act serious," he admitted, "but treating us like a joke is the last mistake those squids will ever make! I don't care if we're in pony world, or Minecraft, or the brightest freaking corner of Waverley Place! If a squid is there, we will continue to fight until there are no squids left! If that squid king thinks he can mess with this world while we're around, he's got another thing coming! So let's get ready to kick some ass !"
The other five drew their swords as well, Antvenom and Deadlox with their butter swords, Jason with his diamond sword, Bodil with his iron sword, and Kuledud3 with his stick, they all raised them high.
"For the Sky Army.." Said Jason.
"...and anyone who has suffered to squids!" Said Ant.
"For the fun times they try to take away!" Said Kuledud3
Bodil added, "Personal satisfaction."
"Squids don't win..." said Ty.
"...We do!" Sky finished.
"Maybe we should give them a chance," Twilight said to Rainbow Dash with a satisfied smile. At least they aren't silly all the time, she thought.
__________________________________________________
Princess Luna and Princess Celestia were gathered on opposite sides of a glass tank. The tank was placed in the center of Canterlot Castle's scholar room. A minecraft squid was the tanks only occupant. The squid wasn't cloning itself because the tank was far too small for more than one squid.
"It was found among many in the west river. I've tried questioning it, but it seems to know very little," said Luna. "We do know that, given the chance it clones itself. One of these can fill up a lake in a matter of hours. It's like an aquatic parasprite, only considerably more... vocal. It is not from this world."
"PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" The squid demanded.
"Strange that after so many years of living, we have never seen something like this until now," Celestia said.
"I'M A PRINCESS TOO!" the squid said.
"An invasive species like this usually comes from a single source, perhaps a queen," said Luna.
"We have, like, fifty queens!" Said the squid.
Luna continued. "They have already been spotted in all corners of Equestria. To reach all sides at this speed would mean that they originated near the hearlands. I believe that they are based somewhere in or near this city."
"Then we must begin our search," said Celestia. "However, we must not act until we know all we can."
"I'm a pretty princess!" Said the squid.
Celestia thought for a moment, then said, "I think this would be a good opportunity to test the loyalty of one of our newest allies."
"Friends are like carrots. If you cut them up and eat them, they usually stop talking to you."
~ Patient #313
The doors swung open to the Canterlot Castle's scholar room where the captured squid was kept. Luna and Celestia looked in its direction. "I didn't expect you to act with haste. It's good that you came," Celestia said with a friendly tone.
Discord had to crouch down in order to walk through the short door. Once his head was clear of the doorframe, he replied, "Perhaps if you continue promising me things as interesting as cubical talking squids you can expect this kind of urgency in the future as well." He approached the tank and watched the squid for a moment. "Well now, this is far more interesting than your usual, boring assignments! Although, I don't know why you expect me to know what to do about it," Discord said as he rubbed his chin with his lion's paw.
The squid said, "I'm a princess! Are you a princess?" This made Discord chuckle.
"I like them," he stated. "They're positively hilarious!"
"They're also a threat to our ecosystem," Celestia explained seriously. "They're coming from a single source near this city. Yet they have already expanded to all corners of the country."
Discord gave an exaggerated yawn into his eagle claw and said, "Yes, yes. I know whenever something entertaining happens in this realm, by default, it must be bad."
"Why are you guys not paying attention to me?" Asked the squid. "I'm a talking squid!"
"I believe I have already come up with a solution," Discord said with a clap of his hands. "All we need to do is use my powers to drain all of the water in Equestria. All of the squids will drown and..."
"...and so will every other aquatic species," Luna finished. "We already have a plan that involves a lot less collateral damage. We believe that these creatures come from a corruption very near to this castle. If we can find it. Our combined efforts should be enough to stop it."
"Let me guess," Discord said. "We're going to vanquish it for exactly one thousand years, when it will suddenly reawaken and nearly destroy Equestria a second time. That's usually how these things work out."
Celestia tried to ignore Discord's quip and said, "The first thing we need to do from here is find their source. And something about the intelligence of these creatures thus far tells me that will not be a difficult task."
__________________________________________________
Sky was getting bored. He and his friends had been walking to Canterlot for several minutes now with nothing to stimulate his brain. He pulled out a stack of sixty four butter ingots, then he ran to the front of the group, started walking backwards, and began dropping butter ingots behind him. Deadlox was a few meters behind him, so he ended up picking up each bar of butter that Sky dropped as they traveled.
After dropping ten pieces. He stopped dropping them for a moment and started humming. "Budder," he said, dropping another ingot. "Budder, budder, budder. Dirt paths are better with budder!"
"Are those bars of gold?" Rarity asked.
"DA BUDDER!" Sky shouted. She had said the forbidden word. After a moment, he continued dropping ingots behind him and humming. "This world needs more salted butter!" He stopped dropping them for a moment. "Wait!" He said. Everyone stopped walking. "I've got a feeling that... IT NEEDS MORE BUDDER!" He kept on walking backwards and dropping butter until he ran out.
"Oh crap! I'm out of butter!" He announced.
"Thank goodness," said Twilight.
"Deadlox, give me back my butter!" He demanded.
Deadlox said "Nope," and got a head start running, because he already knew Sky would try to chase him down.
"So... What are we going to this city for anyway?" TrueMU asked the ponies, realizing one of them probably should have asked earlier.
"We're going to get the fix-all for problems like this," Rainbow Dash said. "Something that can easily fix an annoying squid problem!"
"They're called the Elements of Harmony," Twilight explained. "This six of them and each of us represents one element: Generosity, Honesty, Kindness, Laughter, Loyalty, and Magic. We can stop just about anything with them. Unfortunately, they're in Canterlot right now."
[because plot convenience]
"Makes sense to me," said Jason.
Kuledud3 saw a shadow cast over the trees. He looked up above him and saw something very, very strange. A gigantic minecraft squid, at least a hundred times their normal size, was hovering in the sky, looking down on them with his crossed eyes. He pointed up to the squid. "Look up there!" He shouted.
Twilight and her pony friends immediately looked up and stared at the massive creature, slack jawed. Kuledud3's companions didn't look.
"Silly Kuledud3, the only things up there are clouds," said Ty.
"We don't have time to stare at clouds," Bodil said.
"No, you dumbf**ks!" Kuledud3 said, "There is a giant squid up there! Just look!"
"You're full of crap, Kuledud3!" Said Sky.
"It's right there!" Kuledud3 said anxiously. The squid was now directly above them. The ponies were starting to cautiously back away.
"Kule, if there were a giant squid directly above us, I think we would have noticed," said Sky.
Kuledud3 sighed and stepped a few feet into a patch of grass. He placed down one cubical block of dirt and said, "Do you see this dirt tower? Its height represents how retarded you are." He jumped on top of the dirt block and continued jumping placing down more blocks of dirt bellow him until the tower was twenty blocks high. "You are this retarded!" He said to his friends bellow.
"Holy crap a giant squid!" Jason said as he pointed up to the sky.
Sky, Ant, Ty, and Bodil immediately looked up and gasped in surprise.
Kule hung his head. "You guys are hopeless," he said with a sigh. He started to climb down his symbolic tower of dirt.
"Oh, so what? It was too easy for us to just be fighting normal squids, so now there are conveniently giant squids who can fly for no adequately explained reason? What kind of diabolus ex machina bullshit is this?" Sky complained.
"I can't believe you used that phrase correctly," said Antvenom.
The gigantic flying squid stared down at all of them with his unintelligent looking eyes. He shouted with the same, obnoxious voice of every normal squid, "I'M A SQUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-" Then he exploded mid sentence. There's no way for me to word it in a way that sounds normal. He just exploded into a giant ball of flames. Of course, that wasn't weird enough. Out of the flames, several dozen regular sized squids began flying down head first. Whenever they struck the ground, they created an explosion!
Luckily, they didn't seem to have much control over where they landed, but a few of them landed very close to the travelers.
"Kamikaze squids!!!" Deadlox shouted.
Kuledud3 watched the squids flying down and exploding like torpedoes. He casually said, "So... This happened."
The mane six huddled around Twilight and she created a small dome around them with her magic. The Minecrafters were running around frantically, narrowly dodging the squid missiles.
Sky wrapped his arms around TrueMU and cried, "JASON! JASON, I AM SO SUPER STARTLED RIGHT NOW!"
"Sky, get off me! You're making it really hard to dodge them!"
"I can't, Jason! I'm too startled!"
One squid landed and exploded directly on Twilight's force field, creating enough force to pop the shield like a balloon and knock down Twilight and her friends with the resulting pressure wave.
When the squids saw that they were vulnerable, they dove down at the six ponies. All the squids switched from kamikazeing around the entire area to flying toward one, fixed target, the six element bearers. Sky and his friends were too far away to stop them as thirty or more squids dove down at those six targets. But these squids didnt explode. Instead, they latched their tentacles around them. Of course, each pony did their best to wrestle away, but dozens of squids are a difficult thing for even the strongest stallion to outmuscle.
Rainbow Dash and the other ponies soon realized that they were being lifted into the sky with multiple flying squids holding them. "Let me go!" She demanded. "I can fly fine on my own, thank you!" Her kicks and shouts did nothing to loosen their grip.
Jason was the first to act after seeing this. He took out his pixelated bow and drew one arrow. He aimed as quickly as he could and released. The arrow soared though the air before landing squarely between the crossed eyes of one of the squids holding Fluttershy. The squids tight grip went limp and it fell down to the ground like a squishy rag doll. "Get your bows out, guys!" Jason commanded. "They're flying away!"
Sky, Bodil, Ant and Deadlox drew their bows soon after and took aim. Kuledud3 didn't. "What? You guys expect me to pay for a bow and arrows?" He explained.
"Let them go, you stupid squids!" Sky demanded.
Applejack peered at the hard grown far bellow her. "Bad choice of words!" She shouted.
The squids shifted around and held out each of the ponies in front of them. "We're pretty far away, Sky," one squid said. "Are you sure you won t hit them?"
"Yes, he raises an excellent question!" Rarity yelled.
"You'd better let them go!" Kuledud3 warned. "Or else!"
"Or else what?" One squid boldly replied.
Kuledud3 held out a block of dirt. "Or else I'll put dirt on you. And then you'll be really dirty!"
"Aww man! I don't want to be dirty!" The squid said. "Come on guys. Let's go."
"You're such a great commander Brian," another squid.
"Jordan, don't be a kiss-ass!" Said Brian.
The squid started to fly off toward Canterlot with their captives. They were moving too fast and too high for Sky to follow.
"Kuledud3 fell to his knees. "Holy torch tits!" He cried. "The only living things I've ever actually cared about just kidnapped by squids!"
"What about us?" Deadlox asked.
"F**k you guys!" Kuledud3 replied. "Why? Why couldn't it have been Bodil?"
Bodil yelled, "Hey!"
__________________________________________________
In the lake near Canterlot, the king squid was listening to Melisa singing a song of loyalty to him.
"I can be your nazi, baby.
"That was beautiful," said the king.
Three, winged figures flew down from above the tree line and landed at the waters edge, Discord, Celestia, and Luna.
"This is defiantly what we were looking for. It looks like we found them in less than three minutes," said Luna.
"I believe that's a record," said Discord.
"Hey! What are you doing spying on us? Perverts!" The king asked.
"I think those guys are naked too," said Chad.
"Oh, that's just sick!" The king said.
"Do we really have to stop them?" Discord asked.
"Discord..." Celestia grunted in an aggravated tone.
"But they're so funny!"
"How did you find our ultra secret hideout?" King Squid asked.
Luna pointed one hoof at their wooden tower, which now had a giant, white flag on it that said "SKWIDZ!!!" in bold red letters.
"Okay, who put that there?" The king demanded.
"It was me sir," said Steve.
"Thanks for giving me a new reason to hate you, Steve."
"You told me to put it there!"
"I. Said. No. Such. Thing!"
"Yes you did! You said, and I quote, 'Hey, Steve, go climb to the top of this structurally unstable wooden tower and plant this obnoxious flag on it. Aight?' Unquote."
"That's because I thought you would fall off and die!"
"If its all the same with you, I believe it's time that you leave this world," Celestia interrupted sternly. "You do not belong here."
"Are you trying to tell me what I can and can't do?" The giant butter squid questioned. "You can't do that! You're not my mom!"
"Your carelessness will not go without consequence!" Luna announced. "You are spreading a corruption across this world and endangering the balance of Equestria!"
"Am not!" Said the king.
"...We actually are," said Chad.
The king remembered his plan, then said, "Oh yeah... Okay, I guess you're right. But I'm not stopping."
Celestia expected that response. Her horn and her sisters horn emitted bright auras. Hers was yellow, her sister's was blue. Discord created an equally bright green orb in his eagle claw and held it out in front of him with his lion paw gripping his elbow.
"Then we will make you stop!" Celestia said she stepped back with her right front hoof and ducked her head so that the tip of her horn pointed to the squid king. Her sister did the same after her. "Last chance to surrender. I suggest you take it!"
"Come at me bro!" The king taunted. He lifted himself above the water by standing an his massive tentacles, which were long enough for him to tower well above the surface of the deep lake.
Celestia, Luna and Discord fired the three magical beams they had been charge. The green, yellow, and blue beams struck their massive squid target. The kings body glowed looks a giant lightbulb.
"I regret everything!!!!!" He shouted. The light intensified and encompassed the entire lake in a haze of blinding white. Celestia, Discord and Luna closed their eyes tightly. They were all exhausted from the energy they had put out. The light went away as quickly as it had came. When the three opened their eyes again, they saw that King Squid was still perfectly intact. In fact, he was bigger now than he was before!
Celestia spoke through battered breath, "That attack... was powerfull enough to defeat King Sombra... Without Discord! How... is this possible?"
"I guess Im conveniently more powerfull than all three of you combined," the king said.
"What a bunch of diabolus ex machina bullcrap!" Discord complained. "You can't just come in here from nowhere and suddenly become the most powerful thing in existence!"
"I don't know what those words mean, but I do know that this is the end for you!" said the squid. He charged up and fired two twin beams of red energy, from his gigantic eyes, that moved too fast to dodge. The three challengers were caught in the red light. They did their best to defend themselves by making thin force fields with the strength they had left, but they were quickly overpowered. Rather than being destroyed by it, however, they were transformed from their natural species into cubical minecraft squids! One squid had a picture of the sun imprinted on its back. Another one had the moon, and the third had yellow eyes.
”And apparently I can turn people into squids for some reason!" The king announced proudly. "That's pretty neat. By the way, what does diabolus ex machina actually mean?"
"Diabolus ex machina, a term from the Greek phrase meaning 'Demon from the machine.' It is a phrase used to describe a situation in a story where a random and or unexplained development makes the story's antagonist increasingly more difficult to defeat when an aparant solution was originally at hand. Basically, it's the writer thowing in a bunch of new bullshit in order to keep the bad guy from getting beaten too easily." A random squid explained.
"Thanks dictionary squid!" Said King Squid.
"It's what I do," said the dictionary squid. "Now I'm off to go eat someone's parents!" With this, he dove back down into the deeps.
Author's Note
9/10 of the questions you may have for this chapter can be answered with: "Because squids are stupid." For example, "Why didn't the squids kidnap Sky and his friends too?" Or "Why would so many squids go kamikaze when they only needed one?"
The question of "Why can some squids now fly and explode?" can be answered with the name of this chapter.
How Sky Got His Groove Back
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sky plopped down onto his rear and rested his forehead on his hand. "This is just fan-tucking-fastic!" He moaned. "We just got our asses handed to us by squids!"
"Flying squids," Bodil corrected.
"You're not helpful!" Sky barked.
"Plus they got the Twilight and her friends. Now we can't use the Elements of Harmony they were talking about," said Jason.
"And we have no idea where we are," Deadlox added.
"Elements of Harmony?" Sky repeated. "What the hell is that?"
"Sky, have you been paying attention to anything?" Asked Jason.
"I feel like that's a loaded question," said Sky.
"And I feel like you're ass-retarded," said Kuledud3. "The Elements of Harmony are only the most super stupendous, extra spectacular and legally sexual, spank my ass and call me Chad Bono, mega, super duper thing in all of existence!"
"Wh... What do they do?" Deadlox asked.
"I was about to tell you before you interrupted me you nut-f**king sack of shit!" Kuledud3 replied in an oddly pleasant tone. "Each of Twilights friends represents one of The Elements of Harmony, Laughter, Loyalty, Generosity, Kindness, Honesty, and Magic. When they're together and they have the Elements with them, they have the power to vanquish any foe. The power they have when they're together is so unbelievably amazing. It's basically like being rubbed in the nuts by Jesus Christ."
"I'm going to ignore that last sentence," Jason said.
Antvenom asked Kuledud3, "Do you know if those elements can be used without them?"
"F**k, I don't know," said Kuledud3.
"Well, looks like we lose," Sky said with a shrug. "We don't know where we are, and squids can now fly. As long as their king has the power of budder, there's really nothing we can do," said Sky.
"They also captured six girls who are ten times better at this than we are," Kuledud3 added.
"Yeah, and that too," Sky said.
Antvenom watched the spark of determination leave his friends. They were ready to give up, but they couldn't give up! Not yet. He pulled a butter apple out of his inventory and tossed it at Sky. The apple hit Sky on the head and bounced off so that Sky could catch it in his blocky hands. "The hell is this, Ant?" Sky asked. He knew what it was, of course, but he was compelled to ask anyway.
"That's butter Sky," said Ant, "That's what butter looks like. It comes in all sorts of shapes. In this case, an apple."
"Does this have a point?" Sky questioned. Taking his eyes off the apple and onto Ant."
"It doesn't come in squid shape, Sky. What that squid king guy did was unnatural. He may be using butter, but he doesn't have the power of butter. That's something that no squid can ever have!" Antvenom spoke passionately to lift the others' spirits. "That squid doesn't deserve butter, and if you're going to give up now, you don't deserve it either!" He paused and lowered his tone. "But I know you too well to think you're going to give up now." The other stood up, even Sky. They were letting themselves feel confident. "Those squids can't make the Sky army give up! And if they thing they can, then... Uh... F**k those guys!"
"YEAH!" Adam, Ty, and Jason shouted as they raised their right fists.
A second passed after the three gave their cheer. "YEA-, oh damn it," Bodil said when he realized he said it much later than his friends.
Kuledud3 rushed over to Antvenom and stood so uncomfortably close to him that their noses would be touching if they had them. He took in a long, awkward whiff of Antvenom's beard, then said, "I could f**k you right now!"
Antvenom stepped back slowly until he felt like he was at a safe distance from Kuledud3. "Okay... Anyway, we need to come up with a plan on what to do next."
"If you need TNT, I have three stacks," said Deadlox.
"How!?" Bodil exclaimed. "How did you get nearly two hundred blocks of TNT?"
"Don't worry about it."
"Where are we supposed to go?" Jason asked. "We still have no idea where we are."
"Wow, Jason, way to be a real downer," said Deadlox.
"Yeah, Jason, what the hell is wrong with you?" Asked Sky.
"You know what, Jason? You really need to stop being such a depressing sack of shit," Kuledud3 said.
Jason shook his head and sighed.
"We should just follow the road," Bodil suggested. "It only goes one way..."
Kuledud3 jumped onto the road and started running without any warning and said, "Come everyone! Follow the pink string of fate tied to my love!"
"What the hell is he talking about?" Jason asked. He, Antvenom and Bodil started following after him. Sky was going to join them too, but Deadlox stopped him by grabbing his shoulder.
"Sky," Deadlox said. "In case we don't make it, I want you to know... I... I love you."
Adam stared at Ty for a few seconds then just said, "...No," and followed after his friends.
___________________________________________________
The city of Canterlot looked like it had been abandoned of all of its pony inhabitants. In truth, they were all hiding behind locked doors. The skies were filled with flying Minecraft squids. They had come out of nowhere. The princesses were not able to protect the city when it needed it the most.
The throne room in Canterlot Castle was under new management. King Squid, who was able to breath on land thanks to his many new powers, sat, or rather, lay on the throne. A large tank of water had been added to the castle against the Throne Room's left wall. Twelve squids were able to swim freely. Three of the squids were Chad, Steve and Melissa, who had been assigned to watch the tanks other occupants. Three other squids were the two Princesses and Discord; and the last six were seemingly normal squids. However, these other squids each had a marking on their backs, the cutie marks of the mane six.
"What's going on?" Twilight asked. "Why is everything all... wet?"
"Just do what I do and blame Celestia," Discord said. Twilight looked above her and saw a squid with Discord's eyes and voice.
Twilight stammered, "Di... Discord? You're a.. a..."
"A squid," Discord finished. "Yes, and you are too."
Twilight lifted her tentacles in front of her eyes and promptly lowered them, as if she was pretending they didn't exist. She looked at the rest of the tank and realized who all was with her, the princesses, her friends, all squids. "This cannot be happening!" She shouted.
"I like to think of it as a learning experience," said Pinkie Pie.
"How? How is this a learning experience?" Applejack questioned.
"Well duh! How else are we supposed to know what being a squid is like?"
The squid king was listening to them. He said, "Okay, I've thought of perfect names for all of you! I've got: Squidity, Squidie Pie, Applesquid, Rainbow Squid, Squidlight, Fluttersquid, Squidcord, Squilestia, and... Um... Squoona."
"Eh, eight for nine," said Chad.
"I thought I did pretty good," said the king.
"How did you know our real names in the first place?" Rainbow Dash asked.
The squid king held out his smart phone and said, "It says it all right here in this Wikipedia article."
"Well, if its on the Internet, it must be true," said Chad.
Steve said, "Sir, we should consider the possibility that Sky and his friends may return."
"Wow, way to kill the moment Steve," said the king.
"Yeah, man, he just conquered this place and you have to be a dick about it," said Chad.
"I was just..."
"No. You shut up!" The king interrupted. "I'm sick and tired of your excuses! Do you know how much time you just wasted? It was about thirty seconds. Thirty seconds of my life wasted! Do you know how many things I could have done in that time? You know what? I'm gonna go draw a picture of everything I could have done in those thirty seconds that you wasted. Thirty seconds of my life DOWN THE DRAIN!"
___________________________________________________
Sky and his group were considerably lucky that the road to Canterlot was a straight path. For little more than an hour they walked along side the road. Surprisingly, they came across no other travelers on the way. When they were about a mile away, the magnificent city came into view stretched out over the cliff face, Kuledud3 didn't need to tell them that they had found where they were looking for. Even from the distance they were at, they could see the squids patrolling the sky. There were only a few dozen flying squids that they could see, but there what they couldn't see was that every source of water in Canterlot was now filled with as many aquatic squids as they could hold.
"Well guys, it looks like its time to finish this little adventure," said Antvenom.
"We do dis!" Deadlox said.
"I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends."
~ Walt Whitman
The six cube shaped heroes gathered at the gate to Canterlot. The gateway was a thick marble arch that hung over the road, marking the entrance to the city. They could see several flying squids that were at a dangerously close distance, but the squids hadn't noticed them yet.
"This is just perfect," Kuledud3 said, "The one time I ever hang out with any of you f**kers in over half a year, and then this happens!"
Deadlox then replied, "You know what, Garrick? We didn't ask you to leave your little 'forever alone' party with Br3ton and Hot Tub; so you can just keep all of that to yourself!"
"Oh, you did not just insult my bromance with Hot Tub!"
Deadlox spread his arms open and said, "You wanna fight me, bro? Let's go! Right now!"
"Guys, stop it," Jason ordered before they could make good on their banter. "We don't have time for you two to be arguing! We need to make a plan and prepare!"
Sky said, "Well, as far as preparing goes, there's not much more we can do; but I can think of... one... thing... we can do..." He slowly panned over to Ty.
"I'm not giving you my foot!" Deadlox said bluntly. For such an unusual statement, he said it quite casually.
"Don't be unreasonable, Ty!" Sky demanded. "You have two feet! I only want the left one!"
"I agree! Take the foot," Kuledude said. He held out his blocky arms toward Deadlox, but retracted them when Ty drew his sword.
"No, bad Garrick! Bad!" Deadlox scolded. Kuledud3 hung his head like an ashamed puppy.
Jason tried to restore order. "Okay guys, listen up. That castle in the city's center will, at the very least, privide some answers; but I'm also pretty sure that's where the king would be. First things first. We need to find a way to..."
"Bored," Bodil interrupted. He sprinted past the gate and into the city, laughing his iconic laugh as several flying squids decended upon him.
"Damn it, Bodil!" Jason said. "Get back here!"
Sky, Deadlox, and Kuledud3 then followed after Bodil. "You can't tame us, Jason!" Sky announced as the three of them passed the gate.
Jason said to Ant, "Sometimes I think you and I are the only two people here with any sense..." Antvenom didn't say anything in response and stared at the gate. "...You're about to follow them too, aren't you?"
Antvenom rushed past the gate yelling, "Untamable!"
Jason said, "Screw this, you guys win," and followed the group.
Jason and Ant were able to catch up with the others quickly. They were forced to continue running because any momentary stop would allow the flying squids that pursued them to catch up. They could see the castle. It was getting closer, but so were the squids.
"OH MY GOD! THIS IS SO STARTLING!" Sky screamed.
The squids behind them were slowly gaining on them. There were seven of them in total, all grouped only a few meters behind Jason. At that rate, the squids would catch up to all of them if nothing was done in time.
Jason made a heroic decision. With his diamond sword gripped tightly in hand, he yelled, "Keep going, guys! I've got this!" He stopped running, and pivoted on his right foot to face the pursuers. "COME AT ME, SQUIDS!" He dared.
Sky looked back as he ran and saw this and stopped. "Jason what are you doing!?" He shouted; but he was far too late. The other four stopped as well, but they were only able to watch the pack of squids crash into Jason in all directions, an attack that was impossible to defend.
"Jason, NO!" Sky cried. He tried to run into the fray, but Antvenom grabbed his arm to stop him.
"There's too many, Sky!" Ant warned.
Jason was still standing upright. He was covered with squid tentacles wrapping all around his body, but they weren't having any serious effect on him. "Um... Guys," he called out calmly, "What are they doing to me?"
Deadlox observed the squids for a moment and said, "They're just kind of... Squidding you, I guess."
"Does it hurt?" Sky asked.
"Uh... No. It's not really doing anything," True replied. His voice was slightly muffled because his helmet was completely covered.
"Yeah! Take that!" One of the squids said.
"This is just stupid," said Bodil.
"Can you guys get them off?" Jason requested.
Sky drew his butter sword and said, "Stand still. I got this."
The squids protested, "Wait, no! Don't do this! SQUID ABUSE! SQUID ABUSE!"
_________________________________________________
The squids in the throne room were blissfully unaware of the attack on their city. Instead, they were becoming bored.
The king said, "I spy with my gigantic eye something yellow."
"Is it Squidcord's eyes?" Asked Steve.
"Nope. You lose," the king said bluntly.
"But you only gave me one guess!"
"Sorry, but those are the rules. You lose automatically if your name is Steve."
"But..."
"You're just going to have to accept that you're always wrong. Just like when you were wrong in that argument we had about baking hot bitches into a cake."
"But I wasn't wrong! You bake the cake first, and then the bitches go in!"
"Don't tell me how to LIVE MY LIFE!!!"
'Boom!' A loud explosion sounded from near the front of the castle flowed by the sound of crumbling rocks. Faint voices could be heard.
"Jesus Christ, Ty! There was a door!"
"I don't want to do dis any more."
"The door wasn't even locked! What the hell!?"
"Steve, go take care of our guests," the king ordered seriously.
"Why do I have to be the one to do it?" Asked Steve.
"Because, if you don't do it, I'll put dirt on you, and then you'll be really dirty."
"Aw man! I don't want to be dirty!" Steve said grumpily. "Fine. I'll go."
___________________________________________________
The six minecrafters were walking through a marble hallway on the outer edge of the castles interior. Kuledud3 was saying, "This one time, at mine camp, I shoved my pick in my... Oh look. We're here."
They walked into an open lobby. It had two large double doors that lead into the throne room. The room was quite large, but sparingly furnished with a single couch and a few tables. However, there was also a ditch that seemed to have been forcefully dug into the castle floor and filled with water. The ditch stretched from the base of the door and into the opposite hallway on the other side of the room. Steve was floating in the water, blocking the path to the door. "You can all stop right there!" Steve said sternly.
"Hu-hu-hu-ha!" Bodil laughed. "Look guys, it's one squid! I'm so scared! Hu-ha!"
"I'm not just any normal squid," Steve said seriously. "There's a reason the king keeps me around even though he hates me! I am the squid army's most skilled fighter! A master of unarmed combat! I have been sent to stop you six at all costs!"
The minecrafters drew out their weapons. "Looks like we have to fight you first, huh?" Sky said.
Steve turned and started swimming down the ditch into the opposite hallway, leaving the path to the door completely clear. "Do whatever the hell you want," Steve said as he left. "He doesn't pay me for this shit!"
____________________________________________________
King Squid had a large, silver mirror in one tentacle. He extended it far from himself so that he could see his entire body. "Would you squid me?" He asked to no one. "I'd squid me. I'd squid me so hard!"
'BOOM!!!' There was a loud explosion for the second time. This time it was much closer. The door to the throne room was incased in a fiery wave of destruction, causing pieces of it and the entire wall to break apart and scatter across the room. Amidst the debris of the broken door stood Sky, TrueMU, Deadlox, Bodil40, Antvenom, and Kuledud3.
The squid king dropped his mirror and it shattered on the ground. "THERE WAS A DOOR!!!" He yelled.
"Yeah, but that was cooler," said Ty.
"Sky!" Twilight shouted from the tank. "You need to leave! He's too strong!"
"You turned them into squids!?" Kuledud3 said in shock. "Oh, you are f**king dead!" He took a step forward, but felt Antvenom's extended arm block his path.
"We aren't rushing into this," said Antvenom. "There's a better solution." Antvenom extended his sword, turned it upside down, and stuck it into the ground. Unarmed, he stepped up to the colossal squid.
"What are you doing Ant?" Sky asked.
Antvenom looked over his shoulder at Sky and said, "I'm gonna let him choose how he wants us to win."
"Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?"
~Abraham Lincoln
"What are you doing, Antvenom?" Bodil asked. He was wearing a full set of light blue, diamond armor, excluding the helmet. "Pick up your sword! It's time to fight!"
"And tell me, exactly, how you suddenly have a nearly complete set of diamond armor," TrueMU said to Bodil.
"Magics," said Bodil.
"I see an easier solution," Antvenom said. He was facing the king and now in close proximity. He was closer to the squid than he was to his friends.
"You'd better know what you're doing, Ant," Sky demanded.
"Please, Sky, remember who you're talking to," Ant said calmly.
"Do you really think there's a way this could end well for you?" The enormous squid taunted. "I've already won! This worlds greatest defense, the Elements Of Harmony, are now useless! And your fragile bodies are the last things in my way!"
"You've overestimated yourself," said Antvenom. "There are three ways this could end and all of them end in your defeat. First, you could fight us and we defeat you. Second, you could defeat us, which would be even worse for you. The Sky Army has many more than six members. Jerome, Mitch, Husky, and Caveman are a few of the millions that will find out about what you have done. If we are lost, they will not stop until they know what happened to us, and you will pay dearly when they find out."
"And the third outcome?" The king insisted. He appeared to be unamused and disbelieving thus far.
"The third outcome is that we give you a second chance."
"WHAT!!!!!!!!!!?????????" The other five minecrafters shouted in unison.
"If you undo what you have done and send us back the way we were sent here in the first place, you will be spared from those first two outcomes. Understand that I am offering you this because even you deserve a second chance, and also understand that none of the others will offer this to you. Make your choice, atonement or destruction."
"He's so cool!" Rainbow Dash said admiringly.
"I kind of like the destruction offer better!" Sky whispered angrily. "Antvenom, what are you thinking!?"
The king rose on his massive tentacles, revealing that they were more than capable of carrying his weight. He towered over Antvenom with his head nearly touching the ceiling. "Interesting offer," he said, "here, let me give you my REPLY!" He swiped Antvenom into the air with one, powerful sweeping motion from a massive tentacle. It happened too fast for him to even attempt to dodge.
Antvenom flew helplessly through the air as his friends gasped in shock. He slammed his back into the solid marble wall a few feet above the floor. The impact was hard enough to crack the wall around where his head and back had hit. He hung there, suspended on the side of the wall for a short moment before he fell face down on the stone floor. He didn't move.
"ANTVENOM!" Sky shouted in disbelief. The four companions beside him were still staring in utter shock. Sky fell to his hands and knees. "How can it be over? We didn't even get to start..."
"Oh, give the boy some credit!" Discord demanded rather unsympathetically. "He's not dead!"
Sky looked back at Antvenom. He was slowly lifting his head. He then tried to lift himself up with his hands, but he was too weak and fell back down.
"Stupid, don't try to stand up," Ty said quietly.
The squid king bellowed, "Ha ha ha! But seriously, who's next?"
Sky stood back up and gripped his sword tightly.
Jason said, "Knocking down one of my friends when he's trying to give you a second chance? Yeah. That's definitely on my ass-kick list!"
The five of them charged at the king screaming in a fit of fury.
Ty and Jason were in the front of the charge, and thus the first to strike. With their butter and diamond swords, they both swung at one of his eight tentacles with all of the momentum from their charge. However, rather than being soft like they had expected, it felt like they had swung their swords into solid rock! Their was a metallic clank and not so much as a dent in the tentacle. The tendril wrapped around them at their waists and carelessly flung them up into the ceiling where they slammed with tremendous force and fell to the ground like bricks.
Meanwhile, Bodil hacked at a different tendril with his iron sword with no effect. Kuledud3 swung at the tendril adjacent to the one Bodil was attacking and his stick immediately snapped. "Okay, I probably should have gotten a real weapon!" He said regretfully. King Squid grabbed Bodil by the foot and slung him at Kuledud3's back. Because of Bodil's armor, it felt as if Kuledud3 was struck with a wrecking ball. They goth crashed into the ground.
Sky refused to back down. He let out an angry battle cry and jumped atop the base of one of the King's tentacles and leapt at the kings giant head with his butter sword held high. He was aiming for the only soft part of the King's armored body, his eyes. When he was only a few inches from his goal, he felt a thick tentacle wrap around his legs and grab him out of the air. He was thrown in the opposite direction like a rag doll, hitting the ground and sliding back several meters on his shoulders before coming to a rest.
After the failed assault, the five attackers found themselves to injured to even stand. They struggled to lift their heads high enough to see the Squid. To their horror, he was completely intact. The king gazed at Sky who was sitting back and leaning on the backs of his elbows.
"Honestly, this would almost be insulting if it weren't so funny!" The king said with a chuckle. "You honestly thought you could stop the might of the squid army! Face it Sky! You never stood a chance! All of the real warriors were defeated long before you entered this city! You and your friends are just a bunch of kids playing pretend!"
Sky rolled over on his stomach and tried to crawl up to his hands and knees. He couldn't even muster enough strength for that.
"I suppose its a good thing that only five of your friends are here to see just how pathetic you really are! You can't even stand!" The king commentated. "Your little 'Team Crafted' and 'Sky Army Recruits' are just as diluted as you are! Of course, that can be said of anyone who takes you seriously."
"Actually, I can stand just fine, thank you," Sky grunted. He forced himself to his knees, then picked himself up one foot at a tlme until he was standing up straight. He picked up his sword and held it at waist level. He spoke with an underlining tone of anger, "You can say whatever you want about me... BUT I WON'T LET YOU TALK ABOUT MY FRIENDS THAT WAY TOO!!!" He gripped the hilt of his blade with both cubical hands and charged at King Squid with even more anger than before.
The king swung one massive tentacle and batted Sky away like an annoying bug. Sky was launched back and landed on his shoulders again. This time, his butter sword hit the ground and the blade broke off.
"SKY!" Deadlox shouted. "...You suck! Try to do better!"
"That's not exactly encouraging him, Ty," said Jason.
"It encourages me," Ty replied.
"This was all just a waste of my time!" The king boasted. "Your fragile swords can't defeat me! There's only one thing that can possibly stop me, the Elements of Harmony, but the only ones with the power to wield it are squids! I've already finished the hard part you six are just extra fun!"
Sky struggled to his feet again, his broken sword in hand and his body straining to stay upright.
"Up again?" the king said confidently. "You want more!?"
"You really shouldn't talk," said Sky. "It makes you sound stupid." A faint, yellow glow could be seen extending a few inches from his body. "You just yap yap yap like your some stupid pro wrestler! And then what happens? You have to eat all of your words! It's pretty lame."
"I don't think I'll be eating any words today," the king said confidently. "You may still be able to stand, and I find that impressive, but you're living on borrowed time! I bet there isn't a single bone in your body that isn't broken!"
The aura around Sky extended. It was now bright enough to be clearly seen. "You're wrong about a lot of things, but one in particular will be your last mistake!" He shouted. "You think turning the six element barers into squids is all you need to protect yourself!? What gave you the idea that they were the only six creatures in this world who can wield the power of friendship, something we all have?"
"Wikipedia," the king answered sternly. "Everything on the Internet is true!"
Sky held out his broken sword his yellow aura enveloped the shattered blade, making it glow. "Anyone can represent harmony and friendship, and your about to find out the hard way!" Antvenom, Bodil, Kuledud3, Jason and Ty began to emit the same aura as Sky.
"Hold on a second. Why are you guys glowing?" the king asked.
Sky didnt answer the king. Instead he said, "Deadlox, with his brutal honesty toward his friends and his lovable ability to make reality sound hilarious represents the spirit of: HONESTY!"
The aura around Ty turned brighter and larger. A beam of light extended from it and connected with Sky's sword. "You know what Sky?" He said. "You suck, and I love you for it!"
Sky continued his speech. "Jason, the friend who's always been by my side and helped me when I'm startled represents the spirit of: LOYALTY!"
Jason's aura did the same thing as Ty's and connected with the shattered blade. "Kick his ass for us, Adam!" He shouted.
"Kuledud3, the loudest person I've ever met, who uses his creative talent to make others laugh represents the spirit of: LAUGHTER!"
"F**k yeah! I get to be Pinkie Pie!" Kuledud3 screamed while his aura extended to Sky.
"BODIL40! Who spends his own valuable time to create maps for the public and let's others play them for nothing in return represents the spirit of: GENEROSITY!"
"There should be an element of trolling too," Bodoil added. His aura extended to Sky.
Sky gripped the brightly glowing sword with both hands. "Antvenom, the only person I've ever none who would be willing to offer a second chance to someone like you represents the spirit of: KINDNESS!" Antvenom's aura blinded to the sword. It was now glowing to brigthly for anyone to look directly at it.
"Teach him a lesson, Sky!" Said Antvenom.
"When these elements are brought together, the sixth is revealed, the element of... BUDDER!!! Which is basically the same thing as magic."
"Did he just say butter?" Luna asked.
"He just said butter," Celestia repeated.
The aura around Sky's sword formed into the shape of a blade twice as long as the original sword. With a flash of light it formed into a solid, glowing, butter blade that was taller than Sky himself. The auras around the six of them disappeared and the only thing left glowing was his newly created blade. "There are two things that Skythekidrs doesn't let you f**k with, and those things are friendship and butter! And you just f**ked with both of them!"
The squid king commented, "In hind sight, I probably shouldn't have stood completely still while you were powering up."
"Are we gonna keep talking or are you gonna man up and lose this fight already!" Sky taunted.
The squid raised one massage appendage to the ceiling and said, "There's one thing I should tell you before I crush you." He swung his tentacle down like a falling tree. "It's called GOLD!"
Sky sliced his sword through the air timed perfectly to hit the tendril. Unlike previous attempts, this sword actually sliced through the squid like he were made of styrofoam. The tentacle was severed and fell harmlessly to Sky's right side with a loud thump. "That was for starting this in the first place!" Sky cried angrily. He pointed the sword to his opponent with the base gripped by both hands.
"Well... That was highly improbable," said King Squid. He was eyeing the stump were his tentacle had been. His insides were yellow and universally pixelated as if he were consistently made out of butter.
"I hope you've enjoyed your time on the top, squid, cause now it's back to the way things used to be!" Sky said. His taunting didn't go unanswered. The squid retaliated by attempting to smack him into the wall with three tentacles at once. The three adjacent tentacles were side by side with one nearing the floor, one stacked in the center, and one stacked on top in the same was a man would hold up three fingers together. Sky lifted his blade and swung it down on the three tendrils as they flung at his left side. The sword seemed to meet no resistance at all as it sliced through the top, middle and bottom tentacle with ease, like a cannonball ripping through paper. The severed appendages rolled on the castle floor and the king quickly retracted what was left of them, only three short stumps.
"ONE OF THOSE WASN'T A TENTACLE!!! AAAHHH!!!" The squid screamed in horror.
"And that was for turning a bunch of ponies into squids! Your kind are the only creatures who deserve to be that hideous!" Sky declared.
"Well put," Kuledud3 said weakly while trying to help Bodil crawl into a sitting position.
The squid smacked the ground with one of his four remaining tentacles, creating a loud boom. "Let's test that theory!" He yelled angrily, ignoring the pain. His eyes turned bright, glowing red. They projected a soft humming sound like a well tuned motor. Then, his eyes fired a red beam of light. Sky braced himself and the beams of red energy completely enveloped him. A wide dome of red light surrounded him and his shadowy outline was all that could be seen of him. The light quickly dreaded and was replaced by a cloud of smoke around where Sky had been standing.
"Ha!" The king exclaimed happily. "Looks like Sky... Just got squi-owned!"
"That was terrible!" Jason heckled.
"You vill respect ze fuhrer's lame puns!" Melissa commanded.
Sky's silhouette approached from behind the blanket of smoke. It was no in the shape of a squid. He was still the same blocky minecraft character holding his large sword in his cube shaped hands. The king's magic had failed. He stepped out of the smoke with the blade of his massive sword slumped over his shoulders.
As the remainder of the smoke cleared, there was a long, awkward pause while Sky and the squid stared at each other.
"Hey," Sky said, breaking the silence.
"...Hi," the king said nervously.
"Your stupid laser beam didn't do anything," Sky stated bluntly. "But anyway, where were we?" Sky raised his sword off hip is shoulders and readied it.
"...uh..."
"I remember now," Sky said quickly. He lunged at the squid and because he was missing four of his tentacles, the king had little opportunity to defend. The sword struck the left side of the squid's body and cut through him to the right side, creating a deep gash with ease. "That was for my friend who tried to give you a way out and got his ass kicked into the ground!" Sky jumped back to give him enough room to make another attack. King Squid was using two tentacles to cover the gash and the other two to slowly push himself backward.
"Thanks for the shout out, Sky," said Antvenom.
Sky's sword now started to glow brighter than before, fueled by the passion and determination of its wielder. He leaped into the air with his sword held above his head crying out, "And this one's for me! Just for pissing me off!"
"Wait! No! Sky, we can talk about this!" The king begged.
Sky slashed the squid without any hesitation. His sword struck the top of his ugly head and easily sliced down to the base of his body. The sword struck the ground beneath the squid and Sky held it there and looked up at the king. He had a massive gash from top to bottom, but was still standing upright.
"Well, that wasn't so bad, I guess," the squid said. Immediately after saying that, however, the massive cut shimmered with a blinding white light. "Oh god! WHAT IS HAPPENING!?!?" The king roared. The light intensified and the king erupted into a ring of yellow light like a visible sonic wave that passed through sky and his friends harmlessly. When the light passed through the tank, Melissa and chad disappeared as if they were never there in the first place. The nine captives were reverted back to their original form as the corruption of the king was lifted. Discord, Celestia, Luna, and the element bearers took a quick moment to look at themselves and then, upon realizing that they were no longer squids, swam up to the surface to gasp for air.
The light continued to sweep across Canterlot, frightening its hiding citizens at first, but causing them to rise up and cheer when they saw that it was destroying all of the annoying squids.
____________________________________________________
Steve had just finished a long journey of swimming when he arrived at a small pond outside of Canterlot. "It's finally over!" He said happily, "Now I'm free of that idiot and I can do all the things I've always wanted to do! Today is the first day of the rest of my life!" His celebration was cut short when he saw the ring of squid destroying light fast lay approaching him.
"You know what?" He sighed. "That lasted a lot longer than I expected."
"A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down."
~Arnold Glasow
Discord was happy to be able to snap his paw once again. He was the first to exit the tank. With a magic snap, he teleported to the dry floor and with a second snap became dry himself. The others without magic had to crawl out of the tank from the top and wait to dry naturally.
Rarity was racing against time to restyle her mane before it dried in a bad style.
Sky's friends had time to recover, aside from Antvenom, they were able to slowly stand back up on their own. TrueMU and Deadlox helped Antvenom up as well and let him lean on his shoulders.
"That was my second worst experience with a talking squid EVER," Discord stated, breaking the awkward silence that had befallen the room.
"Second?" Twilight asked as she wrung the water out of her mane.
"I've been alive for a very long time," Discord replied.
"I feel like we're forgetting something," said Deadlox. "I feel like we should be doing something right now."
"You mean, like, finding a way to get home?" Asked Jason.
"Or the extensive damage to the city that we should definitely be addressing?" Asked Twilight.
"Or my obvious need for medical attention?" Antvenom struggled to ask.
Pinkie Pie added, "Or an explanation as to why that explosion at the end of the last chapter conveniently got rid of all of the squids without harming anything else, something that was never given any sort of explanation and would probably make the readers really super angry if there isn't one?"
"No, no, nothing like that," said Deadlox. "I was thinking about something more along the lines of Skylox."
Sky slowly panned over to Deadlox and locked eyes with him for a few drawn out seconds. "Ty... I hate you so much right now."
"Then let us make sweet hatred with each other," Ty replied without missing a beat.
Sky jumped at Deadlox and tackled him to the ground. As Sky viciously attacked his friend, Celestia leaned over to Twilight and asked her in a hushed whisper, "Who exactly are these... Interesting friends of yours?"
"I believe their names are Sky, Deadlox, TrueMU, Kuledud3, Antevenom and Bodil," Twilight answered. "I don't know where they came from, but I think they came here with the squids and they seem to be stuck here. They were with us when we were ambushed on our way to Canterlot."
"You are fortunate to find another group of companions whose friendship is strong enough to wield the elements. Though their friendship is expressed in a very different way," Celestia commented as she watched the two roll around on the floor and attempt to choke each other.
"Hey guys," Bodil interrupted. Sky and Ty briefly ceased fighting so they could listen to what he had to say. "I really don't want you guys to get mad at me for not mentioning this earlier but I've had fourteen pieces of obsidian in my inventory this whole time."
Kuledud3 said, "So your saying that..."
"I'm saying that we could have gone to the Minecraft dimension through the Nether the entire time," Bodil finished.
"The entire time?"
"The entire time, yes."
____________________________________________________
Thus, with an awkwardly long and hug-filled goodbye from Kuledud3, the six cubical heroes used Minecraft logic to return to their own dimension. With a hollow portal frame five blocks high and four blocks wide and the flint and steel that Deadlox somehow acquired in a way that you don't need to ask questions about, they returned to a world made of three dimensional squares.
Princess Celestia insured that the natural balance between these worlds would remain intact by destroying the obsidian portal that connected the two realities, leaving memories as the only thing that the two worlds shared.
____________________________________________________
A few, peaceful days later, Twilight lay down on her bed to take a much deserved break after a long day of studying. The sun was just barely still visible in the sky as the world changed from day to night. The natural light in her tree house was quickly fading.
"Are you gonna miss them?" Spike asked out of the blue as he picked up a stack of books.
"Miss who?" Twilight asked absently, without giving it much thought.
"Those guys you told me about a couple days ago. You know, the ones who saved Canterlot from squids and then left. Those guys."
Twilight snapped out of her absent state of mind as she quickly remembered those recent events. "Right..." She said half embarrassed by the fact that she had forgotten. "I remember them, of course! I suppose I miss them a little, but it's much better the way things worked out. I mean, I can't possibly imagine what would happen if there were a bunch of those guys running around Equestria!" She giggled at the thought, then turned to Spike.
Spike had apparently finished his chores. All of the books he had been picking up were neatly placed on their shelves. He was looking out of the low hanging window on the bottom floor. Without taking his eyes off it, he motioned for Twilight to come down and said, "Twilight, you may want to see this."
Twilight gently stepped off the side of her bed and trotted down the stairs with little haste. "What is it, Spike?" She asked.
"I'm not really sure what it is," Spike replied. He stepped to the side so that Twilight could stand in front of the window. What she saw left her speechless.
Two more cube shaped minecrafters that she had never seen before stood in the open street. Both wearing coats and manacles. "I say, what-oh chaps and chapettes, Game Chap and Bertie here!" Said one of them whose name was apparently Game Chap
"Yeah!" Bertie said with a slight jump.
Game Chap continued, "And today we're going to be testing the rather nifty interdimensional travel modification for Minecraft one point seven, you know!"
"Wh-why with this modification, you can send as many friends as you'd like to all sorts of places with the server plugin!" Bertie said in an excited voice.
A red-bearded minecrafter wielding a pixelated bone rushed past them, chasing a fruit bat. "Oh, you just wait until I catch up with you, you little demon bird!" He taunted angrily.
Five more minecrafters were on their right. One covered head to foot in brown hair, one that appeared to be made of watermelons, and one wearing a batman costume were standing on the roof to Daisy's house. Beneath them, one wearing a red and black jacket and one that looked like amphibian in a suit were trying to climb to the roof of the building by jumping onto the windowsill.
"Go Mitch!" The hairy one cheered. "Don't let the mudkip win!"
"You know, I don't really think this is a parkour map," said the one who looked like a watermelon.
The one with the batman outfit pulled out an iron axe and said, "Does Warden Freeman need to slice a melon?"
Twilight pulled down the shades to her window and stepped back a few steps into her dimly lit library.
"What do we do?" Spike asked.
"I'm not getting involved in this again!" Twilight said defiantly. "The last six were way too much of a problem for me to deal with! We're just gonna wait here with the doors locked and let them tire themselves out."
Another minecrafter stepped out into the candlelight from the dark corner of the library. He had a black beard, a small cake, and two blue eyes looking out in opposite directions. "Do you two want to know what I had to do to make this CAKE!?" He asked in a quivering voice.
Author's Note
I'm sorry for being so lazy with the narration in the middle about how everything wrapped up. This was done for two reasons. 1. I didn't want to bore you with a super long story about something that could be described in a paragraph. 2. I am really, really lazy.
