Twilight Hosts a Party

by Amante

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 10805

In her latest attempt to get ponies to read, Twilight decides to host a book themed party. What could possibly go wrong?

When Twilight had settled into her home/workplace at the Golden Oaks Library, she noticed something absolutely dreadful—almost no one came in for a book. As a matter of fact, ponies only seemed to enter the tree when there was an event or some mandatory meeting.

The only ponies she could remember actually borrowing a book were her five close friends and Cheerilee. Not to say that Cheerilee wasn't a friend, but she was legally required to do so as a teacher and thus didn't count.

But after Pinkie inadvertently plants a certain seed in her head, Twilight thinks she knows exactly what will get these ponies' attention.

A party.

Big thanks to those who took their time to help me polish this thing.
Neko Majin C
Unimpressive Vagaries - This guy has one story. But it is also awesome. Read it. Seriously, you should. It'll put a smile on your face.
PropdowPony

Published 2013-09-23 13:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-29 22:38:29 UTC

Why a Party?

It had been one for the records. Pinkie Pie's latest party seemed like it would never end. Unfortunately, the moment Rainbow Dash keeled over, it became evident that it had to.

After exchanging pleasant farewells and receiving assurances from Applejack and Fluttershy that they would get Rainbow home; the—rather large—apartment above Sugarcube Corner was left with only two occupants: a particularly pleasant pink party pony and her friend (a purple unicorn to be exact).

Said unicorn opened her mouth and said, "Well Pinkie, I must say, this has got to be the wildest party you've ever thrown."

Pinkie giggled. "Oh, this was nothing compared to the Mid-Year Milestone Merrymaking."

Her friend raised an eyebrow as the pair walked to the door. "Why? What happened then?"

"Sorry Twilight," Pinkie admonished. "Rarity made me Pinkie Promise that I must—" she grabbed Twilight by the cheek and looked her straight in the eye, "—never speak of this again."

Silence reigned as she let go of Twilight. Silence, whose reign was quickly abolished when the two friends burst into laughter.

"Besides, this party only got out of hand when Rainbow found my special cupcakes."

Twilight found herself once again raising an eyebrow. "I've been meaning to ask, what were in those cupcakes, Pinkie?"

Pinkie’s eyes widened slightly. "Oh you know, a little this and a little that," she grinned and lightly pawed at the ground. "And a whole lot of sugar."

"That would explain why she couldn't sit still... and why she suddenly just started staring at the ceiling. Well, it's been great Pinkie, guess I'll see you tomorrow."

She glanced behind the fluff that was her friend's mane.

"Are you sure you don't need any help cleaning up?"

Pinkie smiled and waved a hoof. "Don't worry Twilight, it isn't as bad as it—"

Pinkie spun around and took a good look at the aftermath of their party; her smile evaporated. Suffice it to say, it was horrible. Several rails from her loft were missing, there was a little hole in the floor, there was a big hole in the wall, some sweets were strewn about, tables were flipped, and the confetti. So. much. confetti.

"Actually Twilight, some help with this would be great."

"No problem, Pinkie."

An hour passed before the apartment seemed habitable again. The confetti was contained and disposed of, the food was cleaned up, and the tables were unflipped. Applejack could help with the rails and holes in the morning. They were just putting a few things back in their proper place when Twilight asked Pinkie a question.

"Hey Pinkie, I've been meaning to ask, why do you throw so many parties?"

This had taken Pinkie by surprise. Her eyebrows began to argue on whether or not to raise themselves or to crease themselves as her eyes simply stared at her purple friend. Her mouth made a few motions that could be interpreted as the beginnings of speech yet nothing coherent—nothing at all, actually—came out. Twilight began to worry about her well-being, but it became unnecessary as Pinkie’s eyes, mouth, and face in general mellowed out once more.

"Well, why wouldn't I, Twilight? I mean, doesn't everypony throw a party during Hearth's Warming, or Nightmare Night, or the Summer Celebration?"

"Well, yes, they do. But I'm talking about the parties like today’s."

Pinkie smiled at her friend. "Oh, well that's easy, Twilight. Remember what I told you this morning?"

Twilight thought for a moment. "Air Appreciation Day? And that we should have an Air Appreciation Affair to celebrate the joy of air?"

Pinkie pointed a hoof in excitement. "Exactly!"

Twilight was confused. "Exactly what?"

Her friend giggled again. "Oh Twilight, it’s Air Appreciation Day. It's a day for us to remember how important air is for our lives. I mean, without air, where would we be now? As a matter of fact, without air we might not even be. Remember last week's Earthworm Extravaganza? Same thing. Without earthworms, what would happen to the soil and all the farms?

"I throw these kinds of parties as a thank you to all the little things that just make life worth living, and as a way to remind ponies that they really shouldn’t take these things for granted. I mean, can you imagine what it would feel like to be forgotten just because you’re in the background? I know I wouldn’t enjoy it.”

Pinkie had the biggest grin on her face, and Twilight found herself slowly matching it. More often than not, it pleasantly surprised her to see her most juvenile friend present such insight into life.

“Wow Pinkie, I never really thought of it that way.”

“Well, what did you think, Twilight? I just threw these parties at random? That’d be silly.”

Twilight bowed her head and blushed. “Heh…”

“Oh, Twilight.” She gave her a big hug. “Sometimes you’re just so silly.”

She thought about what Pinkie had said, and frankly, it just made sense. So this gave her an idea. What better way to show ponies the beauty of books? What better way to show ponies the loveliness of the library? What better way to show ponies the… ‘radicalness?’ of reading?

She was going to throw a party.

By the time she had gotten back to the library it was just past midnight. She crept quietly into the main area of the library, careful not to wake her very faithful assistant from his well earned rest. Step-by-step she made her way to the ‘P’ section, carefully watching the floor as she went. She had almost made it there when she had the fright of her night.

“Hoo?”

“Eeek!” She quickly slapped a hoof over her mouth and spun around. She spotted a familiar plume of brown feathers.

“Owlowiscious,” she whispered. “Don’t sneak up on ponies like that.”

“Hoo.”

The pony sighed, “I was at Pinkie’s for Air Appreciation Day what’s more I am a grown mare. I’m also pretty sure I’m older than you… by a large margin.”

“Hoo hoo.”

“Very funny. Anyway, could you help me find a few books?”

“Hoo?”

“All the books we have on parties.”

“Hoo.”

She watched as her obedient owl flew across the shelves, occasionally picking up a book with his claw and placing it in a stack in front of her. She giggled giddily as she watched the pile get taller. Those books were sure to help her throw the greatest party this town had ever seen!

Party 101

Life of the Party

Fillies Gone Wild

Party and Prejudice

Party Pooper: An Autobiography

A Party is Also Known As…

She grabbed the books in her magic. “Thanks, Owlowiscious.”

“Hoo?”

“Research, of course!”

She headed straight for the basement with her books following her in single file.

Author's Note

Inspiration for this pretty much stemmed from a Spongebob binge. Bet you can't guess what episode gave me the idea.

The Twilight Party List

The big, sustained nuclear reaction, more commonly referred to as the sun, quietly broke the horizon. However, just because the sun’s methods were quiet didn’t mean that roosters, alarm clocks, and a whole suite of other things wouldn’t follow its example. Pretty soon, the air in Ponyville was filled with the subtle sound of noise. Noise intended, of course, to wake ponies up.

But this noise was completely unnecessary for one resident of the Golden Oaks Library: a purple dragon, diligently getting up from a good night’s rest to get things going, and making sure his “sister” got up on time as well. As he approached her bed, however, he noticed one very important detail was missing from the picture.

Where was Twilight?

The first place he looked was her study. There were times, after all, when she actually got up earlier than he did. This usually happened when she was excited for something, like their first Winter Wrap-Up, or during an emergency, like that one time they ran out of her favorite coffee.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t there either. This left only two possibilities. She was either locked in an epic battle with some ancient, unspeakable evil from a thousand years ago, distracting the beast as her friends got into position to deliver one final blow to vanquish it for good. Or she stayed up too late studying and fell asleep on her desk. He knew the latter was more likely; after all, the former only usually happened on the first Monday of the month, and last he checked it was Saturday.

Since, as established, she wasn’t in her main study, that meant she must be in her basement lab. As he descended to the main hall, he noticed Owlowiscious napping on his perch and the door to the basement wide open. He smiled knowingly and went down the stairs.

Sure as sugar, there she was, sleeping, surrounded by several stacks of notes, and with books strewn around her. As he approached he noticed the books Twilight read herself to sleep with.

Parties? he thought. That seems like a weird thing for Twilight to research. Then again, she has looked up sillier stuff.

“Twilight,” he said as he shook her carefully.

He received a groan in response, which didn’t really surprise him, so he tried again.

"C'mon Twilight, the sun's coming up, which means it's time for you to get up."

She released a yawn and opened her eyes. She took in the sight of her number one assistant against the light of the firefly lantern.

"Spike?"

Said dragon merely smirked in response.

"Wha-what time is it?" She gave another nice, long, fulfilling yawn.

"Time to get up. Hey, Twilight, why are you reading about parties?" Spike said, pointing to the various party books around the desk.

"Huh? Oh those!" Clarity finally decided to join her this morning.

"Well, you see, Spike," she began. "I had a bit of a talk with Pinkie last night and she gave me a brilliant idea. You remember how all of our past attempts to get the ponies in this town, besides our friends, more into reading failed miserably? Well, I realized we've been going about it all wrong.

"Rather than try and force books down their throats, we should show them how much fun books can be! And what's more fun than a party? So I've decided to throw a party today in the name of Book Appreciation Day!"

"Book Appreciation Day? That sounds like something Pinkie Pie would say. And, did you just say you were going to throw a party?" the assistant asked, skeptically.

"Well... yes."

Spike slumped to the floor, desperately clutching at his sides, as he tried to control his laughter. Twilight adopted a scowl similar to that of a disappointed mother.

"And just what is so funny, Spike?"

He managed to regain some of his composure. "Sorry," he began as he stood up. "But it's just... you… and throwing parties." A brief pause was had before he was once again on the floor in a fit of laughter. In between guffaws he managed to get out, "What do you know about throwing parties?"

"Well, as you can see, I've spent most of the night reading up on anything and everything I'll need for a party. I was even able to make a comprehensive checklist for a 'Thematic House Party' which is what I've decided to classify my party," she said with a hint of pride in her voice.

Spike finally managed to make it back on his feet. "Wait, you're actually serious?"

Twilight was puzzled by her assistant's surprise. "Well, of course I am Spike." Her expression softened as she looked at her “little brother.” "And I'll be needing the help of my number one assistant to pull it off."

Spike sighed. “Fine. If you’re serious, then of course I’ll help you.”

Twilight wrapped her hooves around him. “Thanks, Spike.”

“Okay Spike, according to the books I’ve read, one of the first things that should be taken care of for a house party are invitations! After all, what’s a party without guests?”

Spike grumbled as he tried to keep his balance. It is quite difficult to keep holding a stack of scrolls almost twice your height. “So how exactly are you gonna send these invitations anyway?”

She smiled at her assistant. “That’s where you come in. I’ve got my list of guests—don’t worry, it’s only around thirty ponies; the books always say to start small—and you can use your flame to deliver the invitations directly.”

“Alright, who do we send it to first?”

Fluttershy was trotting along the road to Ponyville humming a tune to herself. Her eyes were closed as she was lost in her own daydreams. Because of this, she didn’t notice the plume of flame, coming suspiciously from the direction of Golden Oaks, which coalesced into a scroll, which fell upon her unguarded flank.

“EEEPP!”

She jumped and crouched to the side of the road, her eyes bouncing around in every direction. This reaction would have been perfectly reasonable if there was a monster nearby, or even another pony, or especially a human (but that hardly ever appeared). Sadly, this was not the case as the only thing present was a lavender-tinted scroll sitting ever so innocently in the middle of the path. She blushed brightly.

She approached the scroll, opened it, read it, then immediately closed it. She understood what the words on the letter had meant individually, but seeing them arranged in that order confused her.

Frankly, she really didn’t know how to react, so she decided to settle for a barely audible, “Oh my.”

Applejack had just finished delivering another swift blow to an unsuspecting tree when the letter appeared in front of her. She wondered who it could be from, then she realized she knew only one pony who could send letters that way.

She wiped the sweat off her brow and opened the letter with her muzzle. As she read it, her left eyebrow rose more and more. When she finished, she lifted her head up and just stared for a moment. She stood there in the same amount of time it would have taken her to buck, maybe two trees. Broken out of her reverie she let out a puzzled, “Seriously?”

She suddenly realized that she wasn’t hearing any bucks from her brother either, so she looked in his direction only to find him reading a similarly purple letter.

“You too, Big Mac?”

“Eeyup.”

Pinkie had just finished baking a batch of her Crunchy Custard Cupcakes. You’d think crunchy and cupcake wouldn’t work together, but leave it to Pinkie to prove you wrong. Her Pinkie Sense, ever perceptive, suddenly gave her the urge to turn around. As she did, she noticed a streak of fire making a beeline straight towards her.

Her eyes widened as her mind connected the dots. “Fire, I thought I told you never to follow me from the kitchen? You know what happened last time you got out, and especially how long it took to clean up the market.” Then again, the dots she connected may not have been for the right picture.

Her concern was unnecessary, though, as the flame ceased being a flame and became a roll of purple parchment instead.

“Ooooooh, a letter!” She grabbed it with gusto and read it several times over before her head decided to pop back up with a ridiculously wide grin.

She gasped a great gasp. “Twilight’s throwing a party! Oh, she might need help with decorations, or games, or food. I gotta get there now and see what I can do!”

Several market patrons could easily say that, on that day, they saw a pink streak pass them by. This wasn’t really weird in and of itself, it’s just that the streak was normally rainbow-colored.

Rainbow was still exhausted from last night’s debauchery and thus decided to sleep in. Luckily, since it was a Saturday, she wasn’t in charge of the weather schedule and thus, could afford to sleep in.

Unluckily, because she slept in, she didn’t notice the lavender scroll that landed on her belly.

Rarity had just finished a cup of delicious Earl Grey tea when the letter caught her. This type of mail delivery didn’t particularly catch her by surprise as a number of her Canterlot clients used a similar system. What did catch her by surprise, though, was the lovely purpureus shade of the scroll.

She didn’t particularly know of anypony who sent colored letters so this had certainly piqued her curiosity. She grabbed the letter in her magic and opened it.

If the color of the parchment surprised her, the contents of the parchment shocked her.

“Well, this will certainly make for an interesting evening. But I do hope the poor darling knows what she’s doing.”

She pursed her lips. “I wonder if I have an outfit appropriate for such an occasion?”

Professional Party Planner

“And finally, Cheerilee.”

Spike took a breath and ignited the last scroll.

“I do hope they read their letters. My party is designed specifically for 30 ponies.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh, but what if some of them can’t come? I should make sure that the schedule can be adjusted for fewer ponies.” Beads of sweat began to form on her face. “Or worse, what if they decide to bring their own guests? Oh, no, no, no. I don't think I can adjust for extra ponies..." She began hyperventilating.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Twilight!"

Twilight snapped to attention and realized what she had been doing. Again. She smiled at her ever faithful assistant. "Thanks, Spike."

"Hey, no problem, that's what I'm here for." He donned a smirk. "So, what's next on your list?"

"I'm glad you asked." She pulled out her party list and pointed at their next objective. "Decorations."

The library was really coming together and Twilight had just finished putting up her specially made banners. Interestingly, or rather, unsurprisingly, the banners had quotes from some of Twilight's favorite books. Even more fittingly, the streamers placed beside the banners had the bibliography of their respective banners, done in proper MLA style.

Spike had brought this up with Twilight who simply dismissed it as being. “In conjunction with the theme of our celebration!”

The pair had made their way to the kitchen with the intent of inspecting Spike’s cooking for the party.

“So Spike, how’re the brownies going?”

Spike held his head high. “Well, I dunno about you, but I think that these have got to be the best brownies this side of Equestria.”

Twilight smiled as her assistant brought out three trays of stylized pastries. Since the party banners bore quotes from Twilight’s favorite books, the brownies actually looked like Twilight’s favourite books.

“Very nice, Spike. You really got the details right on these,” the pride at her charge’s handiwork evident in her voice.

Spike blushed “Aw, shucks, it was nothing.”

Of course, it definitely wasn’t nothing. He was able to get most of the details, from the spines to the titles, and even the original author’s hoofwriting. Truly, it was a feat that could only be accomplished by one with opposable thumbs.

The sound of quill on parchment was heard. “Alright, that’s another item off the party list. Let’s see here, what’s next?”

Spike’s ears shot up. “Did you hear that?”

Twilight lowered her list and looked at Spike. “Hear wha-”

A loud bang was suddenly heard as something burst through the door, almost through a banner, climbed the stairs, and tackled Twilight, list and all.

Once everything was settled, Twilight found herself under a noticeably happy Pinkie.

“Hi, Twilight!”

When Twilight had finished processing what just happened, she smiled at her unexpectedly expected guest.

“Hi, Pinkie, you do know you’re a bit early for the party, right?”

Pinkie hopped off her friend and slowly descended back down. “Yup! That’s ‘cause I’m not here for the party, I’m here to help you make the party!”

Help? Twilight hadn’t really considered that. She looked to her list, then to the library and finally, to her friend. She considered her offer and let the idea slide around in her head. She made sure to lather it around in there and make it grease up the place. When she felt her brain was lubricated enough, she had her answer.

“Well, Pinkie, I could use some help setting up the activities for tonight. Here.” She gave Pinkie a box and a couple of well stuffed manila envelopes. “Each envelope contains the instructions on where they’re supposed to go.”

“Okie dokie lokie!” She turned to go back to the main hall. “Hi, Spike!”

Spike, who Pinkie just barely missed when she burst in and had stayed out of the way for that entire exchange, greeted her back with a cheerful, “Hi.”

The dragon approached the unicorn. “You sure about this, Twilight?”

“Well, I don’t see why not. After all, Pinkie is Ponyville’s premier party pony.” She scooped up her list with her magic. “Anyway, since Pinkie’s setting up some of the activities, that gives us time to head to the market for some last minute shopping.”

The pair was heading back to the library after getting a few more supplies. There were only two hours left between then and the start of the party. Twilight felt confident that this was going to do it. She’d finally see ponies actually going to the library to borrow a book. The idea excited her to no end, so much so that for the last few minutes Spike had to endure Twilight going on and on about it.

“Can you believe it, Spike? We might actually have to start issuing library cards. Oh, I better make sure the camera’s still working! Heeheehee...”

Although her venting was starting to be grating, Spike was nevertheless happy to see Twilight happy. “Well at least it’ll be different from ponies bursting in the library screaming, ‘Help! Monster!’ or ‘Help! Disaster!’”

“Or better yet, ‘Help! Economic recession!’”

The two had kept up their good natured laugh until they reached the library door. When they entered, they were greeted by something they did not see coming. In addition to Twilight’s decorations, there were now many streamers of various colors, a whole bunch of balloons, and it seemed like the confetti had come back with a vengeance.

Twilight was flabbergasted. “Wha- wha- wha-”

“Welcome back, Twilight!” Pinkie bounced into view. “Whaddaya think? I made a few changes to your party plan, hope you don’t mind.”

Oh, she didn’t really mind. After all it’s not like the baby blue streamers clashed with the noir section; or that floating pink balloons looked ridiculous in the horror section; or that stuffed animals crowded the foals corner. Okay, maybe she didn’t really mind that last one, but as for the others, they ruined the atmosphere of the library.

“Uh, Pinkie, what did you do?”

“You like?” She wrapped an arm around her friend’s shoulder. “I dunno about you, Twilight, but you need more than just a couple of neat-o banners for it to be a PARTY!”

For her part, Twilight was still pretty shocked. She did not plan for this. This wasn’t at all how it went in her head. She had to put a stop to this before her party slipped away. But first she needed to find something out.

“Pinkie, what happened to the activity stuff I gave you earlier?”

“Oh those, I didn’t set them up yet, ‘cause I kinda wanted to talk to you about them Twilight. It’s just that there’s kinda something wrong with them.”

Wrong? Wrong?! How could they be wrong? She spent all night formulating those methods. It was clear that those activities would induce the greatest amount of learning possible. She even had the figures and studies to prove that they would do the job best. So how in Celestia’s mane could they be WRONG?!

Twilight’s face was blank as she tilted her head slightly. “What exactly is wrong with them, Pinkie Pie?”

“Well, I read through the instructions of all of them, I even checked out the stuff you wrote as ‘supplementary reading’ and I gotta say Twilight, your games are kinda… boring.”

Twilight’s pupils shrunk to pinpricks. “Boring?”

“Yup, boring.” This time it was Pinkie who brought out a list. “But don’t worry li’l Twiley, I think we can make just a few changes to make it more fun. So wanna hear what I’ve got?”

Twilight stared at the pink. More fun? She didn’t think so. She knew her games were plenty fun already, and she was going prove it.

“Actually Pinkie, that’s okay.”

Pinkie was stunned. “Are you sure? I’m sure I could he-”

“Really Pinkie, it’s fine.” She grabbed her friend—“Why don’t you come back later?”—and shoved her out the door. “I’ll show you that this stuff is plenty fun.”

Pinkie barely had enough time to turn around before Twilight slammed the door behind her. Her eyebrows were creased as she looked back at the door and sighed. She started to bounce back to Sugarcube Corner. “Well, I’m sure Twilight knows what she’s doing. After all, she is a super smart pony.”

Let's Get This Party Started!

Forty-five seconds.

“What could be taking everypony so long?” Twilight asked to no one in particular, or perhaps it was directed to Spike. She was staring at the clock, so that made it hard to tell.

One minute.

Twilight started to consider what could have gone wrong.

I know Spike sent the invitations. I supervised the entire process! What could- oh no!

Her eyes widened as she reached an epiphany.

Obviously they didn’t get their invitations because they were too vulnerable in their fire state and so were intercepted by the PARTY GREMLIN! The evil fiend from a thousand years ago that went about ruining the precious parties that ponies put up, because as everypony knows, if nopony parties, then we all go insane. The same PARTY GREMLIN that the Princess never ever brought up in conversation once, even when it would have been relevant like during a history lesson!

She blew her bangs in frustration.

Okay, I’ll admit, that does sound far fetched, even for me. Besides, Pinkie was here earlier and she knew about the party, which means that the others know as well. I’m also pretty sure Celestia wouldn’t not mention something as serious as that. Again.

One minute, twelve seconds.

Is the place hard to find or something? It’s kinda hard to miss, I mean, it’s a three storey tree with windows. Heh. Three story tree.

Fear coursed through her veins as she came to a horrible realization.

They must not be able to find the library because the library no longer exists. When I wasn’t looking, a singularity must have swallowed up the entire tree! Now the question is, what caused it? Of course, all things considered, the answer is obvious. Roth-Theau the malignant reality warping specter whose only goal in life, maybe life is the wrong word, was to cause pain and suffering for ponies. Oh, why didn’t Celestia ever warn me about its eventual return?! Not only that, but since I’m separated from my friends that means we can’t use the Elements! ALL IS LOST!!!

A purple hoof swiftly made contact with her face.

One minute, forty seconds.

Unless… unless… OH SWEET CELESTIA NO! SAY IT AIN’T SO!

Suddenly a blank expression attached itself to her face as shock filled her entire body.

On their way here they must have been abducted by… by… HUMANS. Okay, calm down Twilight. Maybe the stories were wrong, maybe they weren’t all bad! Oh, who am I kidding?! My poor friends! The atrocities they must be putting them through. They could be brushing Rarity’s mane, or even Applejack’s mane! I am so sorry, AJ, there was nothing I could do. Or worse, they could be writing stories about them; putting them in absurd situations for their own sick amusement. What if they were writing stories about my friends doing each other?! Oh, I’m sure they’d love that, and since they had the actual thing, they might as well make them put on a demonstra-

She drove her face towards the ground in an attempt to derail these trains of thought.

Spike poked his head into the room from the kitchen. “Everything okay Twilight?”

A muffled sound vaguely resembling, ‘I’m fine’, came as a reply.

One minute, fifty-eight seconds.

Twilight released a sigh of resignation.

I guess they’re not coming. I’m a nothing but a—There was a knock at the door—success!

She trotted over to the door and opened it. On the other side stood an alabaster unicorn mare wearing a cape of sparkling midnight.

Twilight smiled at her first guest for the night. “Rarity! Glad you could make it! Please, come in.”

Her guest smiled in kind. “Of course darling,“ she trotted into the house, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Spike! Could you please get Rarity’s cape?” Twilight called into the kitchen.

“Rarity’s here?!” came the excited answer.

The two heard the waddling pitter patter of scaly feet rushing towards them. Spike gave a gentlemanly bow and extended his arm.

“May I take your cape, madam?” His voice clearly imitated the accents of the Canterlot Elite.

Rarity still held her smile, “You may, good sir. Thank you.”

The unicorns shared a glance as they watched Spike carefully put the cape away. Twilight turned to face her guest.

“So, anything interesting happen on your way here?”

“Hmmm… Well nothing too significant, really.”

“No humans or anything?”

Rarity looked straight at tonight’s host, eyebrow arching. “Humans? Twilight, whatever do you-”

Another knock echoed through the library.

Twilight instantly perked up as she gave a giggle more befitting a filly who’d just gotten what she wanted for Hearth’s Warming. “More guests! If you’ll excuse me Rarity.”

“Of course, darling.”

In a short moment, Rarity was joined by Applejack, her brother, and Fluttershy. As they exchanged greetings and indulged in small talk, Spike approached the ever anxious mare who now stood guard at the open door.

“Wow, Twilight, looks like things are starting to pick up.”

She grabbed her assistant and did a little twirl. “Oh, isn’t this just so exciting Spike? Why just imagine, at the end of this night, other ponies will actually start reading.”

Twilight pointed at something in the distance, but since lifting Spike required two hooves, he found himself back on the ground.

“Hi, Lyra! Hi, Bon Bon!” She greeted the approaching ponies.

Twenty minutes, forty-three seconds.

Twilight mentally ticked the last box on her guestlist checklist. She then rolled up the scroll and brought it up for filing in the ‘successful’ folder whilst simultaneously triplicating it for documentation under other headings. It always pleased her to know that her mental landscape was so well organized. Most of the time.

She then brought out her non-mental, physical party list. Arrival, check. Time to get this party started.

“Excuse me, everypony!”

All eyes were on her, “First of all, I’d like to thank you for coming over to celebrate Book Appreciation Day!”

Silence, after being overthrown, led a successful revolution and established a democratic government that watched over the party (Twilight’s party that is). Not long after though, the quiet government was subsequently impeached due to citizen dissatisfaction.

Twilight started to get nervous. “Uh, why don’t we start with the first activity. In the hopes of eliminating any insecurities and possible awkward silences, we are going to have a short round of introductions. Before we begin, any questions?”

A blue hoof made it’s way into the air.

“Yes, Rainbow?”

Rainbow flapped her wings to gain a bit more height as she spoke. “Yeah, Twilight, there are like, thirty ponies in all here and I think we all know each other pretty well already.”

Twilight was flabbergasted. “Oh, well… but the schedule says that-”

A light “boing” sound was heard as a happy pink mare approached the distraught host. “Oh, come on everypony, introductions can be fun. Just think of it like you’re meeting a brand new friend for the first time! Here, I’ll get started.”

She cleared her throat. “Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie.”

The crowd stared back as she awaited a reaction.

“Now, you say ‘Hi, Pinkie Pie.’” she suggested.

A collective “oh” came from those present, and though some were still skeptical on what Pinkie was trying to do, complied and with everypony else said, “Hi, Pinkie Pie.”

“I love parties and sweets. I have super awesome friends. I’m pink. I’m an earth pony. I tend to go on adventures that save Equestria. I’m really, really hyper. I like kumquats and sundaes and soda and sarsparilla. Oh!, and did I mention?”

She took a breath and brought out her Party Cannon™. “I LOVE TO PARTY!”

Confetti and streamers shot out from the cannon’s mouth as Pinkie struck a pose. The ponies “ooooh-ed” at her explosive finale.

She put away her gadget and looked at her prismatic friend. “Top that, Rainbow.”

Rainbow snorted. “Oh please.” She trotted over to the presentation area. “That was nothing, wait ‘till you get a glimpse of me.”

She faced the crowd and unfurled her wings. “I’m Rainbow Dash!” Pause for drama-

“Hi, Rainbow Dash.” So much for dramatic effect.

“I’m the best flyer in all of Equestria!” To prove her point, she did a flip and several twirls, stopping just short of the ceiling.

“I’m pure unadulterated awesome and,” she landed in front of an orange, stetson-wearing pony, “I’m a heck of an athlete.” Her tone was an unmistakable challenge.

Several attendees stomped their hooves at Rainbow’s presentation. With a smirk and in a much softer voice she said, “Ball’s in your court, cowgirl.”

Applejack was unfazed by Rainbow’s challenge and simply trotted past her.

“Hi, Ah’m Applejack.”

“Hi, Applejack.”

“Well, Ah’m not much fer braggin’ but tonight,” she wore her own smirk now, “Ah’ll make an exception.”

This got the aforementioned ball really rolling.

“Hi, I’m Lyra Heartstrings.”

“Hi, Lyra Heartstrings.”

“Uhm, I’m one of the local musicians. My main instrument is also the lyre.” She brought out said lyre and played a short, but entrancing melody.

Admittedly, this wasn’t how Twilight imagined this would go.

“Hello, my name is Zecora, as you can see I am a zebra.”

“Hi, Zecora.”

“Who is a zebra,” added Pinkie.

“I am what you would call an alchemist and I live in the Everfree where strange creatures exist.”

She brought out a small bag and threw it on the ground. It released a sparkling green powder that took on the shapes of various monsters from the mysterious forest.

Still, everypony was enjoying themselves so, plus points.

Once everypony finished their show and tell, the hostess trotted back into the spotlight. “Alright, now that we’ve got introductions done, why don’t we-”

Several ponies cleared their throat and looked at Twilight.

“Uhhh… yes?”

The pink pony spoke up, “Twilight, you haven’t introduced yourself yet.”

Realization washed over her face. “Oh!”

She looked around the room for a moment, then back to her waiting audience.

“Hi, my name is Twilight Sparkle.”

“Hi, Twilight Sparkle.”

Her horn lit up and so did all the books in two bookshelves that were behind her. The books then flew around the library in a chaotic, yet perfect, fashion. They flew this way an that, yet never once did one hit another. They then created subtle, but striking, formations above the ponies’ heads before making their way back to the shelves and reseating themselves perfectly into position.

“And I’m your host for tonight’s events.”

They stomped their hooves wildly.

Forty-five minutes.

Now the party really started to kick in.

Party Pooper

Twilight was beaming. So far, so good.

She gathered the crowd’s attention for the next part of the celebration. She floated over a stack of index cards from inside the kitchen. She cleared her throat as she brought up the one from the top and began to read.

She was too engrossed with her speech to see that several guests had adopted an expression of dread.

“Welcome, fellow Ponyvillians, to the first ever Book Awareness Party in honor of Book Appreciation Day. I am honored to be your hostess for this evening’s events. Let me start this off with a quintessential quote for the evening, ‘I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of anything than of a book! -- When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library,’ Mane Austen. And now, I find myself actually living in a library. I guess you could say that I really followed that one to the letter. Indeed, what would we be without the joy of books? After all, is it not them that teach us things, that show us worlds beyond compare, that keep us company in the dead of night? Why, could any of you even imagine a world without them? I certainly cannot. Truly this is the reason, the purpose, for today’s events. We are here to celebrate the written word and honor its glory. We are going to comb the fields of knowledge provided to us by these truly treasured tomes. And how, do you ask, are we going to accomplish this? Why, by performing the acts expected of them. We are going to read our way through this entire library, or so help me Celestia. We are going to follow in the hoofsteps of the great philosophers before us. We are going to learn all about the world we live in, every facet, every nook and cranny, that can be learned of! All that needs to be done is to take that first step. Open that first book. Read that first word! The challenge may seem impossible, but I assure you dear ponies, it is not! I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and that pot is knowledge! The finest of any treasure for it is one that cannot be taken away. Once it is yours, it is yours forever. With these thoughts now in mind, I’m sure you must all be excited to dive right into the sea of literature, but I must warn you, there may be things that your mind is not prepared for. Be wary, for there are some things that nopony must know. But just like a trek into the Everfree, if you know what’s good for you, you come out a better pony. You just have to grab the right book and read it the right way. After all, is it not them that teach us things; that show us worlds beyond compare, that keep us company in the dead of night? Why, could any of you even imagine a world without them? I certainly cannot. We must indeed be thankful for the gifts that these amazing pieces of paper bestow upon us. But we must not forget that they should be treated with care and respect. I remember one time in my youth, back when I was in Canterlot, I saw a stallion reading a softbound in a cafe. It all sounds well and good, I know. But he committed an unforgivable sin. He had the book in his magic so he really has no excuse. He had it floating there with the front cover folded all the way until it met the back cover. The fiend just sat there and casually defiled the poor book’s bindings. I was utterly horrified at this. I tried to tell my mother and she just said that some ponies hold it that way. I was flabbergasted, to say the least. How could my mother, my own flesh and blood, condone such atrocious behavior? It was then I swore that I would make sure that book of all kinds be treated as they should be. And now, here I stand, in front of all you wonderful ponies, ready to share with you my personal, technically library's, collection of books. I hope all of you are ready for a true adventure in learning as we make our way through and increase our awareness of this beautiful Equestria we live in. In a few hours, we will have done more than just ‘scratched the surface.’ No! We will have drilled deep into the mantle as we approach the core of enlightenment. My dear friends, prepare yourselves for a journey of a lifetime. I end this speech with truly heartfelt thanks to all of you who have decided to join in this adventure. Thank you, everypony.”

As the fanfare in her mind ended, she looked to the crowd and found that more than half of them were… asleep. Whilst standing mind you, they were ponies after all. The other half had been taken in by entirely different, and completely mundane, things. All except for one, that is.

“Woo hoo! Yeah! Go books!” cheered Pinkie as she stomped her hooves wildly.

The noise caused by her ruckus ended up rousing all the others. As they collectively regained themselves, Twilight put on a very displeased scowl.

But then she sighed and let it go. The same thing happened to Spike when she tried it out on him. Maybe she should have actually listened and made it a bit... shorter.

She turned around and levitated the index cards back into the kitchen and swapped it for a basket containing several strips of paper. She made sure she put on a big smile before she faced the crowd once more.

“Alright everypony, with the opening ceremonies done, let’s get on with the first group activity!”

Murmurs were heard from them.

“Now, I’ve devised a bit of a scavenger hunt,” Twilight began. “First of all, I need you to pair up. It doesn’t matter who, I just need you to find a pair. There are thirty attendees, so there shouldn’t be anyone who can’t find a pair.”

Shrugs were seen as ponies found themselves partners. Once the commotion had settled and Twilight had confirmed that they were all ready, she began once more.

“I’m going to give every pair a piece of paper, and on that paper are three book titles. The goal is to find those books and bring them back here to the main room. I’ve made sure to balance it so that no strip is easier to find than the others; which will make your search depend only on your skills.

“It doesn’t matter how you find them, you just have to. Whichever team gets here first gets the most points. We’ll have a few more activities and whoever has the most points wins the big surprise prize at the end. ”

At the word ‘prize’ everypony perked up. Now, this was incentive for them to do this. At Twilight’s signal they all began searching for the three book titles. After all, how hard could it be to find three books here? It was just a multi story, multi roomed library with books practically lining every wall, as well as some halls thanks to shelves in the middle of the room.

How hard could it be?

“Well Rainbow, any luck?” asked Applejack.

“No.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “This is ridiculous. How are we supposed to find this dumb book? All the books aren’t even in the right place! I mean look at this one.” She pointed to some books on the shelves. “The letter G obviously comes before the letter M!”

Applejack snorted. “Ya know, we’d go alot faster if ya stopped complainin’!”

The two of them began tossing and turning quite a few more shelves.

Twilight was seated a ways away from the shelves and watched as the other ponies played the next activity on her schedule. She figured that a scavenger hunt would be fun, and what better way to mix both fun and learning library organization than a book hunt?

The only problem was that nopony had even once consulted the Catalogue to help themselves out. It was almost as if none of them had ever used a library before. Of course, such a notion was absolutely ridiculous. At least, in her mind it was.

As she waited in the main room, she noticed a cream and mint pair nearby, frantically going through all the books. She also noticed the mess they were making. Actually, messes were turning up everywhere. Perhaps she didn’t think this through enough, she considered.

“Lyra, will you please start helping me find this thing?!” said Bon Bon in one of her voices.

“Yeah, yeah,” replied the unicorn absently. She was currently perusing a book on monkeys that she had found fascinating. She was currently reading up on their body structure. These creatures were by no means magic, but in her eyes, they had a magic all on their own.

Bon Bon dropped the latest book as she realized it was still not the one she was searching for. As she looked at the next shelf, which was still perfectly organized, something caught her eye. It was a book on making special custard candies. She picked it up with curiousity and began to scan its pages. She then became far too engrossed to even remember that she was supposed to be looking for an entirely different book.

Author's Note

To those who actually read that entire wall of text; hats off to you good sir/madam.

And yeah, holding a softbound book with the two covers meeting as you read REALLY rustles my jimmies.

Rolepartying

It had been more than enough time and not more than enough of them had returned. Twilight was looking at eleven pairs. “Okay seriously, where are the others?”

“Well, mah brother an’ Zecora were busy readin’ some really thick book upstairs,” said Applejack.

“Bon Bon and Lyra are over there,” said Noteworthy, pointing to those stated.

“Derpy and Time Turner were looking at a picture book with blue boxes, whatever they may be,” said Rarity.

“And the fourth?” Twilight asked.

The ponies present looked perturbed as nopony seemed to know who the fifteenth pair was. Eventually Twilight sighed and said, “Well, can you just gather everypony here? I have to announce the winner of the scavenger hunt.”

A few more minutes passed before all the ponies were once again gathered. The four pairs, noticeably, still had their muzzles in their chosen books. Twilight grinned on the inside. And a little on the outside too. It was working! But not everypony had yet to see the light.

“Well, first of all, I would like to congratulate Caramel and Wind Whistler on finding all three of their books first!” She pointed to the couple. “Why don’t we give them a round of stomps everypony!”

The library shook ever so slightly.

“That means you guys are currently ahead for the big surprise. Now then, since you all have your books with you, we can begin the next part that I’m sure will get you all appreciating the beauty of books. With your pairs, why don’t you begin discussing the books you found. I’ll be back in a few minutes to see your progress,” she said with a really big smile on her face.

The moment she disappeared into her room, Rainbow looked straight to her partner. “Does she seriously expect us to discuss… THIS?!” She pointed to the book they had found titled, “The Extended Encyclopedia of Endless Enumerations of Ennui.”

Applejack found herself sighing. Even she had to admit that no amount of hard work could ever make reading “IT” worth it. As she looked around, she found that the other pairs had similar sentiments. Rarity and Fluttershy’s expressions veered more and more into incomprehension as they tried to read their books; which looked big enough to be used as blunt instruments. Even the hunt’s winners looked equally lost in their book.

As a matter of fact, the only ones who looked to be enjoying themselves were the ones who were reading books that weren’t on the list. The four distracted pairs.

Pinkie’s head shot up in concern as she watched the ponies not enjoying themselves. This was not how a party was supposed to go. She bounced over to a shelf and looked for a certain book. When she found it, she opened it on a certain page and presented it to her partner, Cheerilee.

The teacher in turn, raised an eyebrow, looked to her, and said, “Ummm… Pinkie, what is this?”

“A book!” she said simply.

Cheerilee rolled her eyes, not entirely sure if Pinkie was serious or sarcastic. “I can see that, but what’s so significant about it.”

Pinkie leaned in and whispered several things into Cheerilee’s ear. Her eyes went from curious to wide eyed as she heard what Pinkie had to say. “You can’t be serious?!”

“Oh yes I am. Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“I don’t know…”

Pinkie’s eyes grew to the size of saucer plates as she looked pleadingly at her partner. “Pleeeeaaaasssseee?”

Cheerilee gave a resigned sigh. “Fine.”

At this, Pinkie jumped onto her hindhooves and began to dramatize. “Neigh, young mare! I forbeed thee from pursuing such a horrid choice!”

The puce pony was perplexed. But then she noticed that the others had taken notice. She took a breath and followed suit. “NOOOOO!!! I do not care what you think! I shall no longer be shackled to what YOOUU think is best for MEEE!!!”

Pinkie let out an exaggerated gasp. “How dare you! You think you can disobey me,” she pointed a hoof at herself, “after all I’ve done for you?! What would you,” she poked Cheerilee on the chest, “be without ME?!”

“Then I will run away!” The teacher stomped the ground and took a pause. Her eyes shifted around their audience and she took a quick glance at the book. “I will go out there and become my own maare!”

“HA!” Pinkie exclaimed, as she held her tummy. “What do you know of the outside world?! Of the horrors that you will end up facing? You would not last a day!”

Cheerilee wore a scowl. “If that is really what you think then I will leave RIGHT NOW… and there is nothing you can do to stop me!” She stomped, angrily, out of view.

The assembled ponies began to snicker, then giggle, then finally laugh. A particular pegasus pony approached them and said, “Hey I know those lines! I didn’t know it was a book.”

“So I take it you’ve seen the theatrical version?” asked Pinkie.

“Yup,” replied Raindrops. “Hey, mind if I borrow this?” She gestured the open book on the floor.

“Go right ahead!”

One more pony down. Twilight can thank me later, Pinkie thought.

As the ponies shared a laugh, Rainbow had snuck off to a shelf she was very familiar with. Grabbing her treasure, she zoomed back to Applejack and gave her a knowing look. Applejack, meanwhile, returned the look with one of horror. She did not like where Rainbow was going with this.

Rainbow laid the book onto the floor in one particular chapter. Before she began, she psyched herself up and told Applejack, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.”

She cleared her throat and thrust a hoof at the farmpony. “You’ll never get away with this Ahuizotl!”

Applejack stared at her with blank look, but then she put on a mad grin. “Oh, but Ah already have Miss Do! And now there ain’t nothin’ ya’ll can do about it!”

Several ponies giggled at Ahuizotl’s… interesting accent. Rainbow herself had to stifle a laugh.

“Are you suuure?” She glanced around the room and grabbed one of Spike’s gems. “I still have it after all.”

Applejack took the chance to read a few more of her lines. “Are ya sure that that’s it? Take a closer look, why don’tcha.”

Rainbow squinted into the gem, then gasped it terror. “No. No! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” In a manner befitting Rarity, she collapsed on the floor and began convulsing.

The ponies stomped their hooves at the performance. Rarity smiled deviously at Fluttershy as she grabbed a book that she herself enjoyed. Fluttershy, though, could not have looked more terrified.

She dropped to the floor and grabbed her friend’s fetclocks. “WHHAHAHAHAYYY?!” She immediately got the crowd’s attention. “Why won’t you looovveee meeee?”

Fluttershy stood there, stock still. Too many eyes. Too many eyes on her. She couldn’t do this. She could not handle the-

As she looked down, she saw the look Rarity had given her. She had to admit, she did like that part in the book so… “I-I’m sorry. But, it h-has to be this way. There is nothing I can do. Goodbye.” She turned and accidentally faced the audience, and consequently, the eyes.

Poor Fluttershy’s eyes then rolled back in her head as she joined Rarity on the floor. The white unicorn nudged the yellow pegasus, but got no response.

She stood up and faced the crowd. “Oh dear. I suppose the spotlight was a bit too much for her.”

“I already have eight ponies reading like crazy, Spike. Can you believe it?!” She said as she trotted in place.

“I’m actually kind of inclined not to. But, great job, Twilight,” said her ‘faithful’ assistant.

“Ha, ha, very funny. I just can’t believe how easy that was. Although, I was a bit surprised to see Lyra reading the ‘Private Primate Pamphlet.’”

“So, what’re they doing now?”

“Oh,” she said with pride. “I got them to discuss all the books they found in the hunt.”

Spike’s happy expression evaporated. “Wait, what exactly were the books you sent them to find?”

“Just the simple stuff, like encyclopedias and biographies of famous writers,” she said offhandedly.

“Twilight, I don’t think that’s-”

The sound of shouting was heard through the door. The pair looked to each other with concern and raced back out to the hall. When they got there, the source of the sound was not what they were expecting.

In the center of the room, Pinkie and Cheerilee were yelling at each other in hilariously over the top tones, complete with over the top movements. When they had finished, the ponies started to laugh. Twilight looked around the room and saw Rainbow grab the fourth Daring Do book. She had a pretty good idea of what was about to happen as she laid the book in front of Applejack.

Of course, she was right. Rainbow Dash started saying Daring’s lines from the book, and apparently expected Applejack to play along as Ahuizotl. To her surprise, the farmpony complied and said his lines with her own… inflection. Even Twilight had to admit, it was pretty funny.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a pink ball of fluff approaching. Pinkie wrapped a hoof around her and said, “So, whaddya think, Twilight?”

She looked at her bouncy friend skeptically. “What do I think? What do you think you’re doing?!” she asked accusingly.

“Huh?” Not the reaction Pinkie had been expecting. “Uhhhh… having fun?”

“Fun,” Twilight deadpanned. “This is what you call fun? Libraries are supposed to be quiet, Pinkie. This is not a theatre. Look what you’ve gone and done.” She pointed to Rarity as she dropped to her knees.

“Now I have to get everypony under control before things start getting-”

*THUD*

The two ponies and one dragon’s attention was caught by a yellow pegasus collapsing on the floor.

Party Fight!

"Oh my goodness!" Twilight cried. "Fluttershy, are you alright?"

She rushed to the side of the fallen pegasus. After prodding and finding her to be completely stiff, she turned to the surrounding ponies. "What happened?"

A dainty white hoof made its way into the air. "I may have something to do with that, darling. You see, I may have dragged her along for a bit of... dramatization, and you know how the poor dear reacts to performances," Rarity said as she gave a rather pathetic chuckle.

Twilight made a sound. It was mostly indiscernible, but if one were to analyze it, one would find that it was an interesting mix of a grunt, a sigh, and a stifled scream. She lit up her horn and picked poor Fluttershy up in her magic. She made for the kitchen, but just before she entered she faced Spike and said, "Keep them busy while I revive her."

The dragon's eyes widened as his mind went straight into emergency mode. His wide eyes then shifted to the crowd of ponies before him. A lump formed in his throat as some of them looked in his general direction. Beads of sweat started to make their way down his scales as he considered the options that he had been presented.

On the one claw, he could try small talk and stand-up. After all, who doesn't like a good joke?

On the other claw, he could also try relating his life story, but the poor ponies had been through enough with Twilight’s speech and even he wasn’t that cruel.

On the third claw, he could do that neat little fire trick he was practicing. The only problem was that it tended to cause quite a bit of an inferno, and considering that they were inside the library and surrounded by hundreds of books… yeah, no.

On the fourth claw, he could always make a break for it. But then, if he did that, that would disappoint Twilight, and that was definitely something he did not want to do.

On the fifth- wait... he only had four claws. As he came to the realization that he only had four claws, a pink blob moved around in the corner of his eye. As he shifted his attention, he realized it was Pinkie moving about and gathering a number of really thick books. To what end, he did not know.

Twilight prepared a spell as she stood over the collapsed pegasus. She readied herself and cast it. It went off without a hitch and she helped Fluttershy back on her hooves.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Yes. Thank you, Twilight." Little did she know, though, that her eyes were still more than a little crossed.

"Uhhh, one sec." The unicorn's alicorn flashed one more time. When the light subsided, Fluttershy was back to normal.

“Oh, that feels much better. Thank you again, so much, Twilight.”

The purple pony smiled once again at her fluttery friend. “You want to go back to the party now?”

The look on her face, particularly the irises which practically disappeared into the corneas, was enough of an answer for Twilight.

“It’s okay, Fluttershy. You can stay here if you want. I’ll get you some tea.”

Thankfully, a pot had already been prepared by Spike and was left in piping hot condition on the stove. It was encased in an amethyst aura and began to float towards the table beside the two ponies. A nice, little, curvy teacup also made its way towards them from the cupboard. As the two met in the middle, they performed a tiny dance which allowed the pot to share its blessings with the cup.

Fluttershy gracefully accepted the steaming beverage and allowed herself a sip. It was delicious. Her lips curved in appreciation of the simple, yet wonderful, drink.

When Twilight was certain that her friend was alright, she stepped back out into the main hall and noticed that the some of the guests were staring at a particularly tall book pile. As she observed this pile, she noticed that it had an eerie resemblance to a wall. She scanned her memories to see if she and Spike had ever created such a fortification. The search came up empty.

Her smile turned upside down as she got a good idea of what was going on. “Pinkie…” she said, ready for just about anything at this point.

“Yes?” came the muffled, yet unmistakable voice of her friend.

Twilight was not amused. “What are you doing?”

“Protecting the treasure of literature. If you want it, you’ll have to take it from my warm, fuzzy hooves!” the pink pony declared.

Twilight made the sound again. Honestly, how could Pinkie possibly act this way in such a scenario? Here she was, diligently trying to share with other ponies the beauty of books and here Pinkie was, trying to turn a party into… well, a party! But the wrong kind of party. The book based bash was meant to be like a tea party, not a rave.

“Pinkie, come out of there, right now. You are hogging some of the best books in the library.” She really was. Some of the ‘bricks’ used in the wall were The History of Obscure Pony Scholars: Extended Edition, Proper Alicorn Care Throughout the Ages, Fourth Edition, Advanced Magic Theory with Modern Conjuration Techniques, and of course The Art and Practice of Listing Any and Everything. That last one was in her personal favorites.

“Oink, Oink, Oink,” was all the response she got.

Twilight stole a glance around and noticed that a few guests shared her feelings of frustration. Things were slipping through her hooves. If this kept up, then her sacrifices would have been all for naught. She could not let that happen and so, issued an ultimatum to her insolent friend.

“Pinkie, come out of there and take down this wall, or so help me, I will pull you out of there myself.” She was happy with how that came out. “And it won’t be fun,” she added to ensure her message was clear.

The first thing she heard from the other side was a slight humming sound. She perked her ears and realized just what Pinkie was doing. She glared at the wall and readied her magic. The moment her eyes caught sight of the load-bearing book, her magic enveloped it and pulled. It did not budge. It was worth remembering that Twilight Sparkle is capable of carrying an Ursa Minor in her magic.

Meanwhile, over on the other side of the wall, Pinkie noticed the quick color change in one of the books. She made for the tome and grabbed (bit) it before it could bring the whole structure down. She gave a low growl as she heard a few grunts of effort from the other side. The light around this book eventually faded right as a similarly shaded light started to take a different book. Her teeth found themselves to be quite active for the next five minutes as they jumped from book to book.

Back on the outside, sweat started to fall from Twilight’s face. She was moving from frustrated to irritated and quickly to just plain angry. She took several steps closer to one of the books she was pulling at with her magic. When even this one outright refused to move, she turned her whole body around and fired off her two hind legs. Books became airborne.

They burst like confetti from a party cannon and flew all across the room. It was a good thing that pony books are designed to resist physical abuse—two-thirds of the population do have to hold them with their teeth, after all—otherwise this would have been a gruesome, gory, sight for any self-respecting bibliophile.

One particular book hit one particular yellow earth stallion. The pony in question was Caramel and the book in question was 1001 Tips for Winning the Heart of a Pegasus (Metaphorically Of Course). He looked to his partner, Wind Whistler, as certain ideas began to blossom in his head. His hooves scrambled for the first chapter and he began to see what the book had to offer.

Wind Whistler, though, held her head in annoyance. The book she got was Dealing With Unwanted Stallions 101. It was thick and the impact, simply put, hurt. Several ponies in the room shared the sentiment as they themselves were on the receiving end of a lecture from some of Twilight’s other favorite books. Grunts and groans echoed throughout the hall.

With the wall down, the unicorn gave the earth pony a look that could have simply destroyed her had it been capable.

As this insanity went on, sixteen of the thirty guests already had their muzzles buried in books as their eyes ate up every morsel of the buffet of words provided by the chef that was literature in the five star restaurant that was Golden Oaks Library. Although, it would be nice if the waitress could let them finish their meals in peace and quiet.

Author's Note

Hmmm... This one seems more purple than the rest.