The Catapult Run

by Clacksphob

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure, Random, Alternate Universe, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1444

Follow the exploits of an all-star cast as they embark on a glorious race across Equestria, the Catapult Run.

The Catapult Run, the biggest cross-country rallye of Equestria.
More than a mere race, it is an event of olympian spirit, in which the participation is half the competition. The other half, of course, is trying to avoid any Gallop Road Patrols who may disagree with the race's fun.
And yet another half is wacky hijinks, as our all-star cast dukes it out on the road, with many an odd detour for everypony.

Cars for no reason.
Inspired mostly by "The Cannonball Run".
Don't think about it too much.

Published 2013-09-27 19:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-27 19:50:02 UTC

Chapter I. "You can't be serious!"

"Rainbow, I can't follow. I'm not really cut out for races, remember the Running of the Leaves?"

"This time it's different, Twilight, I promise! You'll be perfect – Look, I need you for this!" The pegasus looked begging at her friend. She had spend way too much time stuck in that library doing her science, and she had recently picked up the habit of teleporting instead of trotting again. Besides, it would be awesome!

"And what's so different about it? What even is this Catapult Run? It sounds... ballistic."

"Gesundheit. This isn't a race you actually gallop in, for starters."

"Wait, they actually hurl ponies with catapults? Are you crazy, I'm not getting in on that thank-you-very-much."

"No, it's a car race, you egghead. Four thousand miles all over the place, from Manehattan to Los Pegasos. It's a contest of guts, smarts, endurance and speed, and the two of us have plenty of it all." Rainbow put a foreleg around her. "I can see it now, the crowd cheering as the most awesome team to have ever competed crosses the finish line..."

"Rainbow, we don't have a car."

"We'll rent one. Also our fame should get us a fair deal, especially with you being the Princess' prized pupil. Please come along, Twilight."

The unicorn was hesitant. It seemed like a bad idea, just renting a car and driving across the country. It could also be dangerous, but that of course wouldn't stop Rainbow Dash much. Then again, her schedule did have a suspicious opening for the time the race was held. She also could use a change of scenery from the library...

"Well Rainbow – I have to check my schedules first." She skimmed busily through the calendar and said shortly afterwards "Oh, look at that, it just so turns out I have this really important paper I have to do on Equestrian Geography – I guess we could use your trip to do some research at the source, so to speak."

The loud "YES!" which followed was audible across Ponyville and raised more heads than usual.

"Huh, so Twilight actually agreed."

"It would appear so, yes."

"So Rarity, are ya done decidin', then? Ah cain't wait forever, ya know."

The white unicorn took another sip of her tea. A car race was surely much more refined and elegant than the usual, more athletic, events the two took part in. They were apparently also getting fairly popular in the bigger cities, like Canterlot or Manehattan. "Applejack, by itself it wouldn't be a big problem for me to join, but there are some complications, shall we say? What about my shop, what about Sweetie Belle? Where do we get a fitting car, and don't suggest using your delivery truck, since-"

"What's wrong with mah truck?" Applejack burst out.

"Well, it isn't a very sportive car, you have to admit. If as many ponies are participating in this race as Rainbow Dash-", and you, she added mentally, "has been telling us, then it's likely that some teams will drive rather fast cars."

"Ah ain't planning on winnin', I told you!"

"But Rainbow Dash is. Even if you're just competing with her, we'll - you'll need to be able to take on the entire field." Rarity tried to keep a straight face after her lapse, hoping the farmer didn't notice she'd already considered the two of them a team. "Why do you even want me to come along, couldn't you technically join on your own?"

Applejack couldn't say anything against that logic. Rarity did have a point, and it wasn't like Rarity had any good reason to join in anypony else's stead.

"Look Rarity, it's a long race. I'll need somepony ta switch out if'n Ah get tired. Besides, you said yourself we'd need a car other than mah truck. An' Sweetie Belle, she could prolly stay with somepony o'er the time. So are ya in or not? Because if not, Ah can might easily-"

"Well, I suppose maybe I could take a little vacation from my boutíque. Let's do this."

Inside their headquarters, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, covered in dirt, were collapsing onto the floor, exhausted from their most recent endeavour.

"Guess we also aren't Cutie Mark Crusader Zinc Miners", groaned Scootaloo, who somehow managed to get some treesap stuck to her tail.

Apple Bloom took off her hard hat. "It's not ahr fawlt there aren't any deposits around Ponyville."

"What should we try next?", said Sweetie Belle. "Maybe... Cutie Mark Crusader Baccarat Players!"

"There ain't a single casino in Ponyville. Also, we ain't got enough bits for somethin' like that anyways."

"How about Cutie Mark Crusader Electric Engineers?" asked Scootaloo.

"They won't let us back to the plant since that 'Cutie Mark Crusader Dam Busters' idea." Sweetie Belle frowned. "We didn't even get a chance to try it." That particular incident got resolved for the better, considering the dam already had more than its share of damage received. The ponies at Ponyville Hydroelectric Plant had mixed reactions at the thought of three fillies trying to demolish the dam only to get their cutie marks. The forepony, a certain Magnet Bolt, explicitly disbarred them from entering the plant again before they got their Cutie Marks. Their teacher Cheerilee was informed about this, naturally.

"So what can we do? Ahr sisters are might busy with somethin', so they cain't- wait a minute..."

"Yeah, what are they busy with? Rainbow Dash just said 'Yeah squirt, that's a secret', and no matter how hard I begged her she wouldn't tell me!"

Sweetie Belle grew a smile. "Girls, I think we should investigate this..."

Not long after, the three fillies were at Carousel Boutique, hiding in the shrubs outside an open window. As they were struggling to listen in, Pinkie Pie suddenly emerged bearing a friendly smile.

"Hey there! Are you playing hide and seek? Can I play along? Who's seeking? Is it me?"

"Shh! We're trying to find out why Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash are acting so suspicious lately!"

"Ooh, okey-dokey! I'll zip my mouth shut."

The four turned their attention to the boutique's interior.

"Now then, I hope you have managed to keep this matter under covers?"

Applejack frowned. "Of course Ah have. Ah still doan' understand why I couldn't just tell Apple Bloom, tho'."

"That's because Apple Bloom would have told the Crusaders about it, and they might leak it to Rainbow Dash!"

"So why's mah sister havin' secrets from Rainbow Dash?" whispered Apple Bloom, "They're good friends! I don't see any-"

"Pssh! You're going to blow our cover!" hushed Scootaloo sharply back.

The Farmer took a while to think about that. "Yeah, I guess you got a point there. So how are we gonna do this, then?"

"Oh, it is going to be very simple. We might need an excuse though, but nothing fancy - shall we say, I need to meet a customer in Canterlot, and you are helping me. We then go to Manehattan, a day or two before the event, et voilá!"

"Manehattan?!", the fillies gasped.

"What do they want over there?" asked Scootaloo.

"Only one way to find out: We follow them!"

"Wee, that's a brilliant idea! And Fluttershy will come along, and Twilight and Rainbow Dash, and we'll make a great big party for all of Manehattan!" Pinkie almost bounced with enthusiasm at the prospect at thoroughly shaking a whole bustling city with fun.

"Oh no no no!", said Sweetie Belle quickly. "Nopony must know we'll go to Manehattan too, our sisters won't allow that! Pinkie Promise?"

Pinkie made a noise of understanding. "Ooh, now I see. You can count on me; cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"

"So the CMC go to Manehattan, huh?", asked Scootaloo.

"Yeah, an' we can even visit mah cousin! This is gonna be great!"

Author's Note

Oh boy, my very first fan fiction, hope you guys like it.
Also, I'm not a native speaker of English, which in turn means brace yourselves for any potential mistakes.

You have been warned.

So what about this chapter? I feel it's a bit too hasty, pacing-wise, but I guess that comes with experience. Any chapter I write may be subject to change, which probably isn't a smart move.

Los Pegasos, in this instance, is used as analogue to Los Angeles rather than Las Vegas (which wouldn't make much linguistic sense, this is something I will get back on repeatedly; you will regret this).

On an aside note, "The CMC go to Manehattan" does sound like an episode premise...