This Island Alaska

by Gremlin Grenade

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1788

Sea ponies save Alaska

Alaska Snow and High Life, two ponies from wholly different lifestyles, find themselves stranded on a cliche in the middle of the ocean. Bickering, hilarity, and sea ponies ensue.

(This was my application to the Legends of Equestria writing team, where we were required to write a story of less than 2,000 words with the prompt, "Sea ponies save Alaska.")

Published 2013-09-24 01:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-24 01:50:03 UTC

It's really hot

A little peg in the distance, nothing more than a little black dot, is the focus of my attention. Contrasted against the bright blue sky, and the shimmering white water, I’m sure it’s something. Well, I’m praying it’s something. See, I’m not used to this kind of environment. I’m used to the smell of pine, a cold nip on my cheeks, and air so thin you save every breath. But here, every wave is a roaring chorus, every gust of wind feels like it could blow me over. But mostly it’s just hot.

“What in Equestria are you staring at?” the pony next to me inquires with his poncey little accent.

“Out there, you see it? It’s a ship!” I throw my hoof outwards towards the little black dot.

“No, it’s nothing. What you’re looking at is nothing.” High Life sighs before turning to me, “You’ve been staring out there so long you probably burned a hole in your retina. And now you’re just staring at that hole and calling it a ship.” He trots back towards the swaying palm tree behind us, settling his back into the arch and placing two hooves behind his head. “Why don’t you come back here, just rest your eyes for a bit?”

“Resting isn’t going to get us rescued, okay?”

“Oh yes, and I’m sure staring off into the distance is exactly what needs to be done. Thank you so much!” The sarcasm in his voice is light enough that a duller pony could mistake it for sincerity, but I’ve been stuck here with him long enough to know otherwise.

“Look, if I see a ship, maybe I can signal it.” I give him a stern glare before turning back to the dot. “Besides, I can’t really relax in this heat anyways.”

I meant that last comment to be under my breath, but apparently he heard me fine. “What heat? The weather here is just splendid!” he exclaims as he waves two pleasant hooves outward. His expression changes, however as he opens his eyes and gives me a look-over. “Well, maybe if you would shorten that coat of yours a bit… look, I can use some of these tools we’ve got here to fix up a razor for you, get that thing off of you.”

“What? Cut my coat? No! I need it like this when I get back home!”

“You don’t even know when that is! Besides, it’ll grow back.”

My attention is now fully focused on him. “Here, look at this thing,” I fluff the fur on my midsection a bit for emphasis, “do you know how long it takes to get your coat like this? The kind of care it takes?”

“Well, to be honest with you, I have ponies to take care of that for me.”

“So you don’t know?”

“No, I guess not.”

“A lot. It takes a lot of time, and a lot of care. If I don’t want to just freeze in the cold when I get back home to the mountains, the coat stays on. Got it?”

“Fine. I guess you can just dehydrate in the heat now instead.” High Life pushes the brim of his straw fedora down past his eyes as he leans back; how he managed to hang on to that thing through the ocean is beyond me. “Alright, well, if you do keel over, can I eat you?”

“WHAT?!”

“Easy, easy. It was a joke, don’t get your horseshoes in a bunch.” He chuckles as he waves a dismissive hoof in my direction.

“I don’t see what there is to be joking about right now. In case you haven’t noticed, we’re stuck on an island about the size of somepony’s lawn, with a decent chance of dying of hunger, thirst, or heat exhaustion.“

“Look, Alaska… it was Alaska, right?”

“Yeah, Alaska Snow.” Can’t believe he forgot my name already. Jerk.

“Alaska, I realize this isn’t what you’re used to, but complaining isn't going to do anything about it. I mean look at me; I usually deal with comfortable villas and lakeside suites. And while I have done enough travelling to been in this kind of position before, I’d still rather be at home.” I swear, if this guy doesn’t stop whining I’m going to go insane.

“Well why don’t you do something to help? Gather some food or something?”

“Oh sure, I’ll just scout out the island,” he turns his head side to side briefly before continuing, “Oh look at that, I did! I don’t know if you noticed, but there’s nothing here to eat!”

“Well, what about diving down, finding some kelp or something?”

“While you do what?”

“Me? I’m here keeping watch for any ships!”

“Oh yes! Of course, how could I distract you from such a strenuous and important task? Anything else you need, your lordship?”

“Alright, well why don’t you help set up shelter? In case a storm hits?”

“In case a storm hits?! Look around you, it’s clear skies for miles! I swear, you’re the most paranoid pony I’ve ever met!”

That one made my stomach lurch. “I’m not paranoid, I’m a survivor! I’ve lived through storms and trials you can’t even imagine, bucko! Don’t you call me paranoid!”

“Fine! You’re not paranoid! You’re just an idiot! An imbecile that’s nothing more than a stubborn MULE!”

For the next few seconds, the only sound that can be heard is the crashing of the waves, as the two of us stare each other down with a burning intensity. Finally, with a “harumph” High Life goes back to his tree and pulls his hat down over his eyes. Personally, I can’t believe this. I’m stuck on an island with a poncey little high-society type, of all ponies, on a tiny desert island in the middle of nowhere. And it’s really, really hot.

I decide to turn back to my dot-watching duty when I notice that it’s a bit bigger than a dot now. In fact it’s something worth noticing. “Hey! High Life, come over here!”

He raises his hat a bit, only to place a hoof over his eyes to shade them with instead. “Well, I’ll be… that’s certainly something after all!” We both smile and cheer for a bit before we look back at our savior. “Wait a second… that looks like something, but I’m not sure it’s a ship. It looks more like…”

…Uh oh.

***

I stomp the makeshift peg harder into the ground to keep the rope in place as the wind threatens to pull the whole thing out. The slow, swaying breeze earlier is replaced by a constant and deafening roar as the wind whirls around us, occasionally bringing the waves inland and drenching us to the bone. A quick and sudden gust pulls upward, and High Life and I quickly grab hold of the rope to make sure we stay in the general area as we get lifted off our hooves.

“Look, I know this is a bad time, but I wanted to say I’m sorry for calling you paranoid,” High Life shouts at the top of his lungs, his voice just barely audible over the blaring winds. “If it weren't for you, I’d probably be dead, so… thank you!”

“Ef frm frr frmk frm frmrmfry frm fr frfrm!” I don’t have the luxury of tethering myself down with magic, so my response is a bit muffled, to say the least. I’m not sure he’d want to hear what I think about his apology, anyways.

The wind dies down enough for us to touchdown again, albeit with enough force to knock a pony as big as me off his hooves. I scramble up and take a quick survey of my surroundings before I notice a loose piece of rope at an odd angle near High Life’s head; one slip of my leg and he could be gasping for his last breath. We may have had our disagreements, but I’d never wish something like that on another pony. All I need to do is weed one hoof out of it’s bindings, untangle the rope, and just slip it ba-

I don’t even have time to think before the wind throws my back against the tree we’re tied to. I can feel the breath being forced out of my body as a crippling pain crawls up my spine. The next gust of wind pulls me out, away from the tree holding us down, and it’s only a brief moment before I feel my last hoof slip out.

I have to admit, flying through the air is a pretty relaxing feeling. Despite the boisterous winds and the pain in my back, it’s a... freeing sensation. Unfortunately, despite my expectations, going into the actual water feels a bit more like getting a roundhouse kick from a manticore to the back of the skull. I drift slowly downwards, the world above getting slowly smaller, as the last bits of air in my body are sucked away by the water around me. I close my eyes, and decide to end it with one last gasp, filling my lungs with... air, actually. What? I take another breath without opening my eyes, and again, clean air. Sure, it smells kinda soapy, but it’s still breathable.

I shoot my eyes open to find myself inside a pony-sized bubble, with some strange creature floating outside it. She- I mean it, looks like a pony, but with no hooves. Instead, it has some strange wing-shaped appendages, like fins or something, and a huge tail. Suddenly a jazzy little tune pops in my head, but I can’t figure where I’ve heard it before.

“Hey there!” It talks, apparently.

“Um... hi. What are you?”

“I’m a seapony, buddy! You know! Swish swish, glug glug? Oh! Are you one of those sky ponies that fly around above the water? I saw you flying up there and thought you could use some help! You shouldn't be flying around during a storm, you know.”

“Uh, no, I’m an earth pony. That was... that was an accident, I guess. Besides, I don’t normally fly.”

“Oh cool, cool. So, uh, where ya headed?”

“Well, you wouldn't happen to know where Equestria is, would you?”

“Sure don’t! But I bet we can find it!” Great. Just peachy.

“Oh, would you mind if we picked up my friend, too?”

“Sure thing, buddy! Oh, by the way, my name’s Bubbleshine, what’s yours?”

“Me? My name’s Alaska Snow.”

The seapony smile dimmed a bit as she scratched her head. “That’s cool... but, um, what’s an ‘Alaska’?”

“Oh, well, um, Alaska is...”

And that’s the story of the day I realized I have no idea what my name means.