For Days That Fell Like Leaves

Chapters

Prologue
Chapter one
Chapter two
Chapter three
Chapter four

Prologue

The sun was hot, sweltering, as it beat down on the apple trees that made up Sweet Apple Acres orchard. Rainbow Dash was lying spread-eagled on a bale of hay in an open front barn, watching Big Mac as he worked. Her face was dreamy as she admired the way his muscles moved under his skin, the way his powerful hind legs struck out in kick after kick. She licked her lips, fascinated by the way the light glinted off the sweat that dripped down his flank.

Slowly, she became aware of a voice trying to pull her out of her fantasies.

“Rainbow? Are you ok?”

With that, Rainbow snapped back to reality. Applejack was beside her, a concerned look on her face. Her body was slick with sweat just like Rainbows. They were taking a breather after working for several hours solid in the broiling sun.

Rainbow cleared her throat, a guilty look flashing across her face. “Uh, I’m fine. Guess I just zoned out a bit.”

Applejack scrutinized her sceptically. “You know, if you were ogling my brother, I would appreciate it if you would just tell me.”

Rainbow flushed. “I wasn’t.” It was an angry denial that nopony would have believed, let alone the element of honesty.

“I don’t mind, really, I don’t.” Applejack grinned. “To be honest, I’ve noticed you watching him quite a bit lately.”

Rainbow sighed and looked down at her hooves. At least Applejack didn’t seem to mind.

“If you don’t mind me asking, is it serious or are you just horny?”

Rainbow blushed bright crimson at that. “I was planning on asking him to the couples’ night Twilight is holding,” she snapped, heatedly.

“Ok, ok, take it easy.”

Twilight was holding a couple’s night party in Ponyville as a celebration of hearts and hooves day. Princess Celestia said that it was the perfect opportunity for the all her friends in Ponyville to realise that she was still the same, despite having been made a princess.

Rainbow, relaxing, chuckled deviously. “Quite a lot of gall she’s got, throwing a couples only event when she still holds the record for the most forever alone pony in Equestria.”

“Hush now. That’s the new princess of Equestria you’re talking about,” Applejack chided, but it was obvious she was suppressing a grin.

“Yea right, the new princess of Equestria who actually grew wings before she got a coltfriend.”

“And is there anything wrong with being single?” Applejack challenged. She wasn’t actually allowed to attend, being single herself. Twilight had gotten around this by asking her to do the catering.

“I bet you’d change your tune if you found a stallion who went in for the butch kind of mare.” Rainbow was simply poking her friend for fun now.

Applejack knew this, but couldn’t help retorting, “I’m single because I haven’t found the right stallion yet. If you would look anywhere but between his hind legs you might actually find the time to look for one with a decent heart. You know, the most important organ.” She emphasised the last three words, glaring.

Rainbow made a face. “You sound like my mum, she was always telling me I should look for the personality of the stallion.” She snickered as a memory flickered to the surface of her mind. “You should have seen her face when I asked her if she said that because Dad had a small cock.”

Applejack laughed despite herself. “I’ll bet. And how long were you grounded for exactly?”

“As far as I know, I’m still grounded.”

The two laughed. After a moment , Applejack looked thoughtful. “Do you know if any of the others have a special somepony they’ll be taking along?”

“As far as I know, Pinkie will be there with Neon, but she’ll be a bit busy organising the event so I doubt she’ll get much time to actually enjoy herself.”

Applejack nodded, unsurprised. “What about Rarity, is she taking anyone?”

“After the fiasco with whatsisface at the gala, I don’t think she’ll be eager for another dating disaster.”

There was a long pause as Applejack seemed to decide whether or not to say what she wanted to say. At last she spoke. “And… what about Fluttershy?”

Rainbow realised Applejack had probably been trying to steer the conversation this way since they got on the topic of the couples’ night.

She found herself a little miffed. “Look, just because I’m her closest friend, doesn’t mean she would tell me stuff that she didn’t tell you. If she had… somepony to take, you would know about it at the same time as me.”

“Sorry, I just thought, seeing as you two have known each other so long…” she trailed off, raising her hooves in a gesture of peace.

Rainbow sighed. “Pinkie and Rarity have been pestering me about that for weeks now. I wish they’d just ask her themselves.”

“Probably Rarity has been. I kinda feel bad for poor Fluttershy. Do you think she’d call off their trips to the spa if she was feeling uncomfortable with the constant scrutiny?”

Rainbow shrugged. “I’ve learned she’s a lot stronger than we often give her credit for. I think if she really wanted to, she would tell Rarity to back off.”

Applejack nodded, unsure. “She has looked mighty skittish of late.”

“Nerves I guess, I think we’re all a little on edge, what with Twilight’s sudden ascent to greatness.” Try as she might, Rainbow was unable to keep a slightly bitter edge from entering her voice.

Applejack, keen as ever, picked up on it and said, “Now, now, you know it ain’t like that. Tell you the truth, I think she’s quite embarrassed at all the attention. Probably wants things to just go back to normal like we all do.”

The bitterness was out in full force now. “She sure didn’t look embarrassed, or like she wished she could go back to normal when she was prancing about with her new wings and that flashy crown.”

Applejack poked her in the chest. “I won’t have you talking about Twilight behind her back like that. If you have a problem, I suggest you take it up with her.”

Rainbow sighed. “I know, I don’t really resent her. I just miss how quiet it was before all this happened.”

That statement fell oddly on Applejack’s ears. “I would have thought you would love for things to be stirred up a bit. You would be the first to complain at how boring things can get around here.”

Rainbow laughed a self-deprecating laugh. “Yes, you would think that. I guess I like the excitement to be on my terms.” She shook herself. “Look, let’s not talk about this; I’m sure everything will blow over.”

“It always does.”

Rainbow turned her attention back to the sleek, well-muscled stallion still bucking apples in the orchard. She gave a sly smile. “Gotta give him points for stamina.”

Applejack gagged but her tone was good natured. “That’s my brother you’re talking about.”

Rainbow smiled, unabashed. “Any tips you could give me?”

Applejack poked her in the chest again, slightly harder this time. “There’s one for you.”

“I mean it, do you think I have a shot with him?”

Applejack looked thoughtful. “You might, I really couldn’t say. He’s very quiet and I don’t honestly think I could work out one of his secrets if he really didn’t want me to know.”

“Lot of good you are.”

Applejack ignored the jibe and tapped her chin with a hoof, looking thoughtful. “He likes honesty, guess it runs in the family. If you have something you wanna say to him, my advice is that you’re best off just giving it to him straight. He doesn’t so much go in for subtleties.”

Rainbow nodded, taking in the information. She shivered with something that definitely wasn’t cold.

The sun being out in full force like this was both a blessing and a curse. By the time Big Mac walked into the barn to join the pair in a much needed rest, he looked as though he had just climbed out of a pool. The air was heavy with the scent of testosterone. There was something in that smell that whispered to the primitive corners of Rainbow’s mind. She looked away, choosing instead to focus on the bottle of chilled apple juice Applejack had given her.

“Well you look plum tuckered out,” said Applejack, addressing Big Mac and choosing not to notice Rainbow’s sudden bashfulness. “Reckon I can handle the rest, if you wanna call it a day and head inside.”

“Nope, I could go for another hour or so once I get my breath back.”

There was a strangled choking sound from where Rainbow was sitting. Applejack smirked when she saw how twitchy her friend had become.

Noticing her for the first time, Big Mac turned and said. “Oh, howdy Miss Dash. You were doing mighty fine work out there.”

Rainbow managed to mutter something that passed for. “It was nothing,” before Applejack cut in, taking pity on her.

“Rainbow was just heading home. She’s done quite enough today.”

Rainbow flashed her friend a grateful smile. She turned and, without saying another word, flew off at breakneck pace.

There was a long silence in the barn. At last, Applejack said, “What do you think? Would you be interested?”

Big Mac appeared to think for a while. At last he decided, “Eeyup.”

While she flew, Rainbow cursed herself. What had all that been about? She never backed down from a challenge, never. It was part of what made her, her. She flew faster, frustration lending power to her wings.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. What had she been thinking? Had she even been thinking? Her whole body shivered as she remembered the chiselled, red stallion, drenched in sweat, his muscles still slightly enlarged from his exertion.

She was so lost in fantasies that she barely heard the quiet voice vying for her attention.

“Rainbow?”

She turned, dispelling a thought that her mother would have probably cuffed her around the head for.

“Hmm?” She softened her expression the moment she saw who it was. “Oh, hi Fluttershy. What brings you here?”

Fluttershy looked down at her hooves. “Oh, nothing much. I just got a little bored at home. I was wondering if you wanted to go for a fly around.” There was a wiry little question hanging onto the end of that sentence. It was nervous and meek, much like the mare herself.

Rainbow smiled, perhaps hanging out with Fluttershy for a bit would clear her head. “Sure.”

The two flapped off, Rainbow setting the direction but Fluttershy setting the pace.

There was a brief moment of silence as Rainbow sought for a suitably light topic of conversation.

“You excited about the couple’s night?” Mentally, she facehoofed. Of all the idiotic…

“Not particularly,” said Fluttershy, with unusual directness. “I’ve decided not to go.” She flushed, remembering her manners. “What about you?”

Rainbow shrugged. “There’s a pony I want to ask,” she said, offhandedly.

Fluttershy’s ears gave the minutest twitch. “Oh? Who is it?”

Rainbow smiled in a manner reminiscent of her filly days. She could almost imagine sitting under a blanket with Fluttershy, a torch held between them as they confessed their school crushes. A frown came across her face as the memory was disturbed by a much more recent one. How much of that had been in her own head. How real was the scene? Were the special effects really that good or were they just good enough to fool one who wanted to believe.

She shook herself out of such thoughts. “Promise not to tell?” she laughed, deliberately putting a whine into her words, making them sound much younger.

Fluttershy smiled that same, gentle smile she had always had. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

“It’s Big Mac.”

If she had blinked, she would have missed the flicker in Fluttershy’s eyes. Even having held gazes with her friend when it happened, she was unsure if it had really been there. Then the moment was gone and Fluttershy was smiling again. “That’s wonderful. You’ve admired him for quite a while now.”

Rainbow nodded, unsure why a statement like that should fall strangely on her ears, unsure of the motive behind anything Fluttershy said anymore. Still, she was used to conversations like this. For the last few months, talking to Fluttershy had felt like walking on eggshells.

“So how is Angel?”

“He’s well.” Fluttershy seemed happy to leave it at that. Perhaps she just wanted company and not necessarily to chat.

Still, there were things Rainbow had to say. It didn’t matter that she’d said them what felt like hundreds of times now, nor did it matter that she always got the same answer. If it came to it, Rainbow wasn’t really sure she could exactly say why it was so important, just knew in her gut that it was.

“Have you talked to Twilight?”

And there it was; the same smile, the same look in her eye that said she was telling something so close to the truth that she could say it with a clean conscience, the determinedly bright expression that promised not to break, no matter how much it looked like it should.

“I talked to her yesterday. I had to go to the library to pick up a book Angel wanted. She was polite.”

Now came the part where Rainbow felt like she had been kicked in the guts. She wished one of them would blink, she wished one of them, either Twilight or Fluttershy, would break stride enough to have the screaming fight that seemed destined from the very start. Rainbow wondered if the pair having it out would actually help but decided it probably wouldn’t.

“Well that’s good.” This was part of the routine too. Fluttershy would pretend that the continued false nicety was progress and Rainbow would pretend to congratulate that progress. Then they would sit beside each other, Fluttershy, unwilling to blink and Rainbow unwilling to stop trying to force her to.

Rainbow knew this part of the routine too. Sometimes Fluttershy seemed to speak more with her silences than with her words. Right now, the silence was politely telling Rainbow that she really didn’t want to talk about this anymore.

She sighed and decided to back off, allowing Fluttershy her space. The only thing she took comfort in was that she knew, if and when the collapse came, it would be her that Fluttershy collapsed on.

“So have you talked to Big Mac yet?” Rainbow had not been expecting the query, thinking her friend would want to steer clear of anything even vaguely related to the couples' night.

“No. I’ve just come back from helping AJ out with the harvest. He was right there and I couldn’t even talk to him.” Somewhere in her mind, Rainbow realised Fluttershy was trying to divert the topic away from herself but didn’t really care. Sometimes it was nice to have someone she could vent at. “I just don’t get it. I’m brave when it comes to everything else. Why should I become some trembling waif when it comes to this? It’s pathetic.”

She knew it as soon as she said it. That had been badly phrased. In her own frustration, Rainbow had forgotten her audience. She turned to Fluttershy just in time to see a look of shocked hurt slide easily back to detached politeness. “Don’t worry; I’m sure you’ll find the words to talk to him.”

“Fluttershy— look, I didn’t mean—”

“I expect you’re tired after doing so much work.” Fluttershy’s voice cut in smoothly. “You need to go rest. Don’t worry, I can find my way home from here. Thank you for flying with me.” Without another word, she was gone. She didn’t storm away, just left. Despite the calmness she had portrayed, Rainbow was sure she saw her friend’s shoulders shake a little as she flew away. Then again, perhaps it was just caused by the flapping of her wings.

Rainbow sighed and turned away.

Author's Note

Wow. It feels weird to finally be posting this. I've been working on this story for nearly three months now and, I gotta tell you, I'm more than a little nervous. I will be updating this story once weekly so stay tuned. Curious? Frustrated? Confused? Join me next wee for some of the answers to your numerous questions. Anyway, I hope you like it.

Chapter one

One is the one, the pony you are...

Rainbow was up early, brushing her teeth and, breaking away from routine, grooming her mane. She had spent the whole of last night working it over in her mind, allowing all her fears and doubts to pour into visions, halfway between dreaming and waking. After several hours, the images had started to warp, taking on the logic of a sleeping consciousness. Scenes played out where he said ‘yes’ and scenes where he said ‘no.’ Over and over again, they played. Sometimes there was kissing, sometimes fighting, sometimes… more. Rainbow couldn’t remember ever feeling this way before. It had to stop. Today, she was going to ask Big Mac to be her coltfriend. Whatever was going on with her other friends, it could not be allowed to interfere with this.

She glanced around the room one final time, knowing she was only stalling but doing it anyway. There had to be something; had she brushed her mane? Yes. Had she eaten a nice breakfast? Well no but she couldn’t have stomached it if she’d tried. Realising there was nothing for it but to just face this, Rainbow Dash opened the door, and stepped outside… right into a rather surprised looking Twilight Sparkle.

“Oh, hello Rainbow, I was just about to knock. Listen I really need your help with something. There's this project I'm working on and I need a test subject.” She stopped when she saw the state of her friend’s mane and tail. A further glance told her that Rainbow had washed and brushed her coat. “Rainbow, what happened? Did Rarity slip in while you were asleep?” She sniffed. “Are you wearing perfume?”

Rainbow flushed scarlet. When she spoke, her voice cracked defensively. “Why, is there some sort of law against that… princess?”

Twilight flinched back, looking hurt. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… I’ll just go.” She turned her back and spread her new purple wings, preparing for flight.

A twinge of guilt rushed through Rainbow as she remembered teaching her friend that position. Twilight had taken to flying like a pig to blacksmithing and it had been an arduous process. She sighed, aware that her temper was only on a hair-trigger because of the Big Mac thing, well, that and the thing with Fluttershy.

“No, Twi, wait.” Twilight turned. “I’m sorry, I didn't mean to snap like that.”

Twilight still looked hurt, but now concern also touched her features. “Is something up?”

“I just…” Rainbow ran a hoof over her silky mane and huffed out an exasperated sigh. “Just having a hard time getting a date for this couple’s night. You've caused quite a bit of turbulence with this idea of yours.” Despite her efforts, a hint of bitterness crept into that last sentence.

“I’m really sorry to stress you all out. I just thought it would be good for all my friends to see that I’m still me, that this whole princess thing doesn't change that friendship.”

Rainbow ground her teeth, feeling the anger that had been simmering under the surface come to a sudden boil. Perhaps it was because of the way Twilight said ‘friends’ like she wanted to say ‘subjects.’ Perhaps it was because the word ‘friendship,’ once sincere and warm, now sounded dry in her mouth, like the friendship speech was one she’d memorised. Perhaps it was just the thought of how Twilight’s “friendship” was hurting Fluttershy.

“Did you come here for a reason or are you just here to apologise at me and lament your new wings and status?” she snapped.

Twilight’s eyes immediately teared up and Rainbow tried to tell herself that that didn’t give her a ferrel buzz of satisfaction. It didn't work, she merely snorted as Twilight ran away, diving over the edge of the cloud and snapping out her wings for a hasty retreat.

After a few minutes of just breathing, Rainbow did the same. She allowed the wind to rush past her face, blowing away all the clouds in her mind and letting her think freely. That argument with Twilight had been stupid. Applejack would have smacked her around the head for such a clumsy confrontation. It had been foolish to let these emotions simmer for so long, waiting till they just burst forth like they had.

Rainbow snapped her wings open seconds before she would have hit the hard dirt. She rocketed forward, heading to Sweet Apple Acres, this time, her intent somewhat different than it had been earlier that morning.

Rainbow Dash had been right; after hearing of the argument she had had with Twilight, Applejack cuffed her, hard, around the head. This had been some minutes after she said “Who are you and what in blazes have you done with Rainbow Dash. You look like you’re going to be on the cover of one of them fancy magazines and you smell like you went and jumped in a flower bed in mid spring. Is all this really to impress that old lug in that field over there?” At which Rainbow had flushed and muttered something too low for Applejack to catch.

All this had happened some minutes before Rainbow, having told her story, whispered “Applejack, I need your help on this one.”

That was what did it. Rainbow Dash, cheeks burning with shame and looking like the victim of one of Rarity’s few but lethal rages, had come here and asked for help.

“Come here sugarcube.” Applejack pulled Rainbow into a hug, tactfully not noticing the way she flopped, like a pony pushed to her limits. “Why don’t you come inside with me and I’ll make you some tea?”

Rainbow pulled back quickly trying to hide her grateful smile and burning cheeks behind a mask of casual affability. It didn’t really work and her words came out a little huskier than normal. “Thanks AJ.”

Applejack wrapped a hoof around her friend’s shoulders and carefully guided her inside, where she set her down in a seat before going about the task of brewing tea.

At first, Applejack worried that she would have to start the conversation with gentle but probing questions. Fortunately, after only a few minutes, Rainbow said, “I just don’t get where this anger is coming from.”

Applejack waited a few moments before carefully constructing her response. “Do you really not know or do you not want to know?”

“Don’t go all psychoanalysis on me here, AJ. If I tell you I don’t know, it means I don’t fucking know,” she snapped. The rage was still hot, ready to nip at anything.

Applejack seated herself unconcernedly across from Rainbow and passed her a steaming mug. “Well then call me crazy because I could have sworn you asked for my help on this. Now I know lies and I know anger, and I can see that, in this case, the one is giving rise to the other. Remember, no one knows your emotions better than you, so let’s try this again: why are you mad at Twilight?”

Rainbow took a deep breath, this time allowing herself to actually consider the question instead of jumping straight on the defensive. She thought about all the feelings that had run through her when she heard Twilight would be a princess. She thought about the time she had spent with her anger simmering there, ready to burst forth at any excuse. She thought about the way her friends had been ever so happy, acting like nothing bad could possibly come of this. She thought of the expectation that she would share this belief and the way that all chances to be angry had been carefully squashed in music and celebration.

There it was, the anger jumped to the front of her mind and an answer was on her lips before she could stop it, the words tumbling out in a desperate rush to be heard. “She thinks she’s better than us. I mean, with any of my other friends I probably wouldn’t have minded. I know that you guys don’t see yourselves as above the rest of us. Put Pinkie in power and all she’d really do is make a few decrees about cupcakes, but she’d still be her. I guess Twilight has always thought she was a little better than the rest of us and this is just one more reason.”

Applejack merely nodded, listening intently to the tirade that had obviously been building, even if subconsciously, for quite a while now. “Are you even paying attention to her? She’s desperate to prove that she’s still our friend. I’d bet my apple orchard that she’d give this away in a second if she could. I can’t honestly believe Celestia would do something so stupid as put all that weight on her shoulders and think it a gift. I guess she’s carried the burden for so long she forgot it was one, but have you even thought of what this will mean for her? She will outlive all of us. Imagine if you knew you were going to have to watch all your friends die around you. And you’re right, this does change everything and pretending it doesn’t won’t do no one any good. Sometimes I have half a mind to walk right up to Celestia and give her the what for. She deserves it after a world class blunder like this.”

“But that’s just it, that’s what really annoys me about all this. I’d be a lot happier if she’d just accept that she’s a princess and stop trying to be our friend. She has responsibilities and yea, she will outlive us all, so why bother? ‘Oh no, poor me, I’ve been made a princess, been given awesome powers and basically a get out of death free card for the rest of eternity. But boo hoo, that means I’ll have to put up with being respected and pampered and living in as much luxury as I want.’ How does that not rub you the wrong way?”

“Because I know she doesn’t want it.”

Rainbow, realising she was pacing, sat back down and blew on her tea, trying to vent some of her anger. “I know I shouldn’t have snapped at her, but I just can’t stand it. I hate Celestia for doing this and I hate Twilight for not dealing with it how she should.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow as she sipped at her own tea. “And how should she have dealt with it? I hear you saying what she shouldn’t have done but what I’m not hearing is what she should have done instead.”

That statement actually left Rainbow stumped. “Well… I don’t know, but it’s not my job to know.”

Applejack nodded, a small, sad smile on her face. “It seems to me you’re hating Twilight for something that really isn’t her fault. If you’re going to hate someone, hate Hasbro for wanting to sell a new toy line.”

“Say what?”

“I said, ‘hate Celestia for not realising what a burden she was putting on Twilight.’ She’s just trying to do the best with what she’s been given.”

“I thought you said… never mind.” Rainbow shook her head. “I dunno, even if I forgive her for being a pampered, prissy, perfect, proper, princess, I can’t forgive her for the way she treated Fluttershy.”

Applejack’s eyes gleamed dangerously, belying her seemingly calm tone. “Now that is her fault and I have had words with her about that. But as much as you might be angry at her for that, it’s not really your battle. Hard as this is for you, this is between Twilight and Fluttershy.”

“How dare you?” asked Rainbow, jumping to her feet. “She’s my best friend and has been since before you were old enough to string four words together. This is my battle because it’s her battle. I won’t pretend to understand it but if she’s gay then Twilight has to be ok with it.” She slammed her hooves down on the table, causing both teacups to clatter. She turned her back and continued her furious pacing.

“You’re preaching to the choir here sugar cube. I know Twilight is wrong about this, but that don’t mean we stop being her friend in favour of shunning her for her ignorance. I’m telling you: what’ll get her through this isn’t being abandoned and hated, it’s having understanding friends who never leave her side, no matter what. We’re leading by example here. Love and tolerance ain’t just words she bandies about for the fun of it and she’ll realise that sooner or later.

“Yea, but with each ‘later’ Fluttershy is getting hurt that much more.”

Now Applejack turned an icy gaze on Rainbow. “Well, don’t you look fine up on that high horse. Time was when you were telling me how you weren’t sure you could treat her the same now. You know how many times she’s come here just for a friendly shoulder to cry on?”

Rainbow felt her eyes sting at the thought of Fluttershy crying. Worse, though, was the pain of knowing that she hadn't been the one Fluttershy had come to. “I may not be good at this but at least I’m trying.”

“We’re all trying, sugar cube. That don’t mean we’re all going to get the hang of it first up. Some of us’ll take longer to get used to it. I think if you were just honest with her, told her you weren’t sure you knew how to talk to her anymore, she might not shut down so much as when you’re pretending nothing’s changed.”

Unbidden, memories of the day before surged into Rainbow’s mind. She remembered the way Fluttershy’s face had fallen at the stupid, unthinking remark. She had hid it well, too. To Rainbow, that was almost the bigger concern. How many times had she done that? How many times had she slid her pain or hurt under a calm exterior? How much must it have hurt that no one ever looked close enough to notice?

Rainbow flopped forward, trying to drown herself in the hard-wood surface of the kitchen table. “What am I going to do?”

When she spoke, Applejack sounded pleased. “Well first, you’re going to mosey on over to the library and tell Twilight that you’re ready to help her with that project of hers, then you’re going to Fluttershy’s place to tell her you got no clue how to act around her anymore and then, once you’re done, you can come back here and try to put the moves on that stallion out there. Who knows, maybe I’ll slip him a nice aphrodisiac before you get here to make things a little easier.” She ducked the inevitable teacup as it was expertly hurled towards her head, laughing.

The wind always helped to clear Rainbow’s head. It was something in the way the icy tendrils slipped into her mane, or the tears that formed in the corners of her eyes. It had a sting that felt… alive.

Anger equalled speed; that was something she had learned a while ago. This wasn’t the same kind of anger that had exploded all over Twilight. No; this was the kind that boiled under the surface. The kind that lent strength to her muscles and made her heart beat that much faster, her blood that much hotter.

Whether arriving at her destination quickly was a good thing or not was still an open question in Rainbow’s books but, like it or not, there she was. She was just raising a hoof to knock when she heard… something. It was just a flicker in her subconscious, enough to make her turn around.

“Oh… hey, Fluttershy.” Rainbow felt her heart sink; she wasn’t ready for this encounter, not yet, maybe not ever. “Look, I’m really sorry—”

“I was just here to see Twilight, I had planned to talk to her today.” If Rainbow hadn’t been paying close attention, she would have easily missed the way her friend cut her off mid apology. Why would she want to do that? “But if this is a bad time then I can come back later.”

Before Rainbow could say a word, Fluttershy had turned away, heading back towards her cottage. Rainbow slumped. That was the last thing she needed. She was going to be distracted enough as it was. Oh well, I might as well just do what I came here to do. She reached up and brought her hoof down hard on the library door. Nothing. She tried again, knocking louder this time.

At last, there was a shuffling from the other side and the door opened to show Spike standing there. He wore a mostly blank expression that was probably intended to hide his anger. “She’s not seeing anyone at the moment, least of all you,” he said, a touch shortly.

“Look, I’m not sure if you heard about what happened but—”

“I know perfectly well what happened. I had the story repeatedly sobbed at me.” This time there was no subtlety, Spike was angry.

“I know what I did was wrong but can I at least talk to her?”

“No you can’t. You shouldn’t even—” He shook his head, obviously unable to find words he deemed sufficient. “You know what? Just go. The last thing she needs right now is for you to come down here parading your… morals and your guilt trips.”

This time, Rainbow’s anger was sparked. “My morals? How dare you give me that kind of crap? Do you have any idea what she—” Rainbow was getting rather sick of being cut off mid-sentence today.

“I know as well as you that what she did is wrong, I get that, but what part of shaming her, belittling her, yelling at her and outright hating her do you think is helping that?”

It struck Rainbow, then, the drastic change Spike’s recent growth spurt had caused. He still wasn’t as tall as she but he stood a good foot or so taller than he had before. His face was changing too, becoming more adult. It was harder to see him as the baby he had so resembled not five months ago.

“Spike, I’m here to apologise. For fuck sake, I’ve already had this lecture from Applejack.”

The change was so minute that it could easily have been missed. Upon hearing the name, Spike’s shoulders relaxed and his previously thunderous expression lightened. “You spoke with Applejack?” he asked cautiously.

Rainbow rubbed her head where Applejack had struck her. “Yea, and I’ve got the bump to prove it.”

Spike gave a bitter smile. “I swear she’s the only one of us to keep a level head through all this nonsense.” With a shrug he leaned against the door frame, tapping his ivory claws idly against the wood. He sighed. “Look, I get it, I really do. I know you just want to help Fluttershy through all this; you’re a good friend to her. Even so, I can’t just let you go in there and trample all over Twilight. Fluttershy has you and that’s great but both of them need someone on their side. I’m sorry but if we’re choosing loyalties—” he stressed the word, giving Rainbow a significant look. “—here, then I already know where I have to stand.” He straightened determinedly, a small trickle of smoke escaping the corner of his mouth and winding its way up his face. “I’m all she’s got right now.”

Rainbow relaxed her threatening posture and breathed a heavy sigh. “I do understand that, I want to make good with her and Fluttershy, try to help both of them like I should have from the start. Please can I talk to her? I know I haven’t been treating her or Fluttershy the way I should have been.” Her cheeks burned as they always did when admitting she was wrong. Perhaps it was that that finally made Spike relent.

“Fine, but if you start verbally bashing her, you’re leaving.” Rainbow Dash easily caught the words he wasn’t saying ‘Whether I have to ask you to leave or throw you out myself.’ He probably could, too. Along with a foot or so of growth, he had gotten significantly stronger. Rainbow found herself smiling when she remembered Twilight mention that he was eating her out of house and home.

Rainbow flicked off a mock salute as she walked inside. “Yessir!”

Rainbow Dash could have found her way to Twilight’s room blindfolded. When she knocked on the door, she was met with silence. This didn’t matter as the door was unlocked.

Inside, she found the ground littered with screwed up tissues. The bed sheets were a mess and probably hadn’t been changed for days, weeks maybe. Twilight was sitting at her desk sniffling and sobbing but working on… something.

“Here to yell at me some more?”

Rainbow cursed, remembering she still hadn’t found the time to wash herself free of perfume. “No, Twi.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Rainbow winced but supposed she probably deserved that. “I’m sorry about before. I should have come straight to you with a problem, not just let my anger boil under the surface. I’m here to say…” she faltered and tried again, “I’m here to say that I’m still your friend.”

Twilight turned and Rainbow could see her eyes were bloodshot. “Does that mean you agree with me?”

“No. Never. It means I still want to be your friend and I’m not going to let something like this stand in the way.”

Twilight’s expression darkened and she turned back to her desk. “Then you’re here to change my mind.”

“No. You wanted my help with something this morning; if that’s still the case then I’d be happy to help you with it.”

Twilight looked up from her notes, a calculating expression on her face. “Do you promise to not try to talk me into anything?”

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” she recited dutifully.

Despite everything, that drew the tiniest of smiles from her friend. “Alright. Come on then, I’ll need some room. The ground floor should be sufficient.” She trotted down the stairs, Rainbow at her heel.

The air was tense, the silence stifling. In an attempt to lighten the mood, Rainbow asked casually, “So what exactly is it you want my help with?”

“I’m working on a new spell at the moment. I need a test subject and it can’t be me as I need to document the results from the outside.”

“Uh huh…” Rainbow couldn’t help but note that that didn’t really answer her question. “So why me?” she clarified.

Twilight flushed a little. “Well, it could be a tad… dangerous. I figured you would be the only one reck— brave enough.” She smiled weakly.

Rainbow shrugged. She could hardly protest at this point. “Fine, just, please don’t incinerate me.”

“Don’t worry, there’s only a very small chance of that happening. Now just stand right over there.”

“Hold on, hold on, hold on.” Rainbow hand stepped into the circle drawn on the floor in white chalk but was holding her hooves up in protest. “You haven’t even told me what this is supposed to do.”

Twilight flushed. “It’s just for some personal research. I promise, as soon as it’s done, I’ll remove it. You might not even feel anything.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Well, I could show you the spell diagrams and explain the theory along with charts.” She pulled a chalkboard off one wall. On it was a myriad of complex symbols, various diagrams, intricate runes, odd power charts and things Rainbow didn’t even have a name for.

Her head throbbed at the very sight. “Ugh, no. Just hit me with it.”

Twilight beamed. “Ok, hold still.”

It wasn’t the way the light seemed to shine through her very brain that told Rainbow something was wrong, nor was it the high pitched squeal that filled her ears. It wasn’t even the way she was picked up and slammed against a wall. Those were all clues, but what really gave it away was the resounding twang that seemed to reverberate through her very being, something fundamental, like an earthquake. Her mind was a building and the very foundation, the rock it was built on, was shifting. She knew the sound was just in her head but it was deafening. Her mind was being pulled apart at the seams, new threads being stitched in like threads of gold and silver. Her whole body gave a final shudder and… nothing.

Rainbow stood and it was over. Nothing seemed to have changed; the world was the same shape, the same texture. Twilight had collapsed to the ground, but she was definitely breathing. It was rather like waking from a nightmare of pain, pain that felt so real in the world of dreams and yet melted away in the dawn light. As the seconds passed, the feeling faded away like fog. It was probably nothing. Just a bit of a mental blow from a spell that had so obviously gone wrong.

The automatic response, therefore, was anger. Twilight had said nothing would go wrong.

She walked over, prodding her with a hoof. “Rise and shine. What the hell was that? I thought you said this would be safe.”

Twilight groaned and got shakily to her feet. “I have absolutely no idea what went wrong. I thought I allowed for the energy with enough counterweight to neutralise the blast.”

“In English?”

“Sorry, that wasn’t meant to happen, are you alright?”

Rainbow sighed. A few bruised ribs, nothing that wouldn’t heal. “Fine, why? Was I supposed to turn pink as well?”

Twilight looked sheepish but was saved from having to answer by Spike poking his head through the door. “What happened, are you two alright?” he shot Rainbow a suspicious glare.

Twilight glanced up at him, then briefly back at Rainbow. “We’re fine, Spike. I just miscast a spell.”

He nodded, unconvinced. “Well, regardless, I think it’s time Rainbow Dash left.”

Rainbow jumped on this, eager to go and talk to Fluttershy. “Yea, I really should go, I got places to be, things to do.”

Twilight looked concerned. “Are you sure you’re alright? Could I at least check you over to make sure nothing’s wrong?”

“I feel fine, really.” Before Twilight could protest any further, Rainbow had already flown towards the door. “Anyway, glad I could help, catch you later.”

Rainbow sighed as she made her way down Ponyvil’s main street. She had become aware several minutes ago that she was hungry, a problem that only seemed to be getting worse. Well, there was no sense facing Fluttershy on an empty stomach.

She wandered over to one of the cafés that were scattered throughout Ponyville. Perhaps a daisy sandwich and some hay fries would have her prepared.

“May I take your order?”

Rainbow looked up at the feminine voice… and looked some more… and kept looking. The mare had a petite structure, with beautifully delicate bones. She was an earth pony with a soft blue mane and light green coat. Her eyes shone a rich, earthy brown, so smooth and enticing. Her figure was slightly rounded, like Pinkie Pie, but all the better for it.

“Is something wrong?” the mare asked, having obviously noticed Rainbow staring. “Should I come back later?”

Rainbow shook herself. What the fuck was going on here? Was this some kind of stupid joke? She tried to shake it off, to tear her eyes away from the mare’s flank and say, “Uh… h-hay fries and a daisy sandwich.”

“Coming right up.”

Rainbow blinked rapidly. Her eyes were darting around, fastening on every mare nearby, taking in their curves, their silky manes and coats. Oh fuck oh fuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck. What the hell is going on? As the world seemed to spin around her, one thought bobbed to the surface of her mind. I’m not gay. I’m not gay. I’m not gay. Those three words were repeated over and over, losing all meaning, holding nothing but one last desperate hope. Something snapped and suddenly she couldn’t take it anymore. She needed to be in her room. Now. With a whoosh, she was gone, not caring about the gasps she drew with her hasty exit.

She was flying dangerously fast, now, at a speed she really shouldn’t have been doing at anything less than roughly two hundred feet.

The wind whipped her face, causing stinging lines to trace themselves down her cheeks. Her whole mind felt wrong, so wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. It was like having a rug suddenly pulled from under her hooves and landing on a surface that felt so similar as to be unnoticeable but so fundamentally different that every atom of her body screamed in protest.

Her tears fell faster as a combination of wind and desperation burned her eyes.

I’m not gay…

Author's Note

Oh my god, it's a plot twist. Anyway, the reason I'm publishing two chapters at once is that the prologue could be a little misleading. I'm afraid I have gone with the "Twilight messes up a spell" cliche, but I personally have never seen this version of it. From now on, the chapters will be published on per week. I hope you liked it and that you'll tune in next week.

Chapter two

Two are your wings to carry you far...

Chop, chop, was the sound her knife made as Fluttershy deftly sliced carrots into perfectly even pieces. Angel would probably throw another of his A-grade hissies if they weren’t, but that wasn’t why Fluttershy was so meticulous today. After so long spent taking care of various animals, Fluttershy’s skill with a knife was legendary, even when her guts were churning and her thoughts felt as though they were on fire, her skills would keep her slicing ability at a knife’s edge.

Angel turned his head at the hissed curse that came from the kitchen. Fluttershy was inspecting a bleeding hoof and trying to hold some of the nastier vocabulary she had learned, behind her teeth. This was unacceptable. If she was faltering with a task so ingrained and well known, then she must be more upset than she had thought.

Damn, if she hadn’t just seen Rainbow then this probably wouldn’t have happened. Fluttershy’s mind, always eager to return to Rainbow Dash like a tongue to a missing tooth, leaped onto the new train of thought. Perhaps at some point when they were in school together, Fluttershy had thought her level of attachment to her best friend a little strange. It seemed like such a long time ago and Fluttershy hadn’t really known how friendship was supposed to feel. She never had a friend. Maybe it was just normal to want to touch her, to want to be near her and crave her affection. After all, what else could it mean? Besides, Rainbow hadn’t seemed to care; she had no close friends either so it seemed only natural that they should be so close.

Fluttershy hadn’t really worked out what was going on until the dreams started. She never knew to this day how she had gotten away with it. She had been sleeping in the same bed as Rainbow for the better part of their time spent in boarding school. One night, she had woken up feeling hot all over. The dream was still clear and vibrant in her mind. Panting and moaning and what were these feelings. She would be lying if she said she had never at least somewhere in her mind suspected, but this? It had frightened her and what made it all the worse was that Rainbow never even noticed. She didn’t feel Fluttershy squirm out of bed, didn’t hear the shower running in the middle of the night, never heard the quiet sobs as her best friend realised just how much trouble she was in.

And it stayed that way, all through school, all through the time they had known each other. Fluttershy told herself she was lucky, that she was a good actor and that she could pretend not to be herself, for Rainbow. She had told herself she was glad no one ever noticed and that she was glad her feeble pretences at interest in stallions had fooled them. In truth, it fucking hurt. Did no one see her? Did no one even care?

Fluttershy kept her knives sharp so as to make her unusually large chopping load that much easier. As such, the cut on her hoof was both deep and thin. The blood was not stopping, nor even slowing. On top of everything else, she was going to need medical attention. She sighed and placed the knife back on the countertop. This really had not been her day.

Fluttershy winced as she placed too much weight on her bad leg. The doctor had said she was lucky the knife was so sharp. The wound was clean and would heal fast. The antibacterial had stung like seven hells but on a day like this, she would have expected no less.

As she limped home, Fluttershy found her thoughts returning to Rainbow Dash. Was it a mistake coming out to her friends like that? Sure, she hadn’t had much choice. After Twilight had announced the couples' night, it had been impossible to just keep slipping under the radar. Truth be told, though, that was really only half the reason. If Fluttershy were truly honest with herself, she would have to admit that she had wanted to do it. Lies were heavy and she wasn’t exactly strong. She gave a bitter laugh at that. She may not have been strong to begin with, but oh how this had taught her. Of all the ways to learn strength, she had never thought her rout would be so brutal.

She had meant to tell Rainbow about her crush, too, just so all the lies could stop, but she had chickened out. Well, a lot of good it had done. How much worse could things be?

Fluttershy felt something strange, then, an odd courage in utter defeat. She had tried, no one could say she hadn’t, and where had it gotten her? Rainbow was awkward and distant, Twilight had all but stated that they were no longer friends, Rarity constantly plied her with questions, like simply changing pronouns could fix this situation and Pinkie didn’t seem to grasp what had her so worked up and just got upset when Fluttershy didn’t want to be happy. In truth, the only one of her friends who Fluttershy felt she could be honest with was Applejack.

I’m so close to freedom. After that, I can stop caring.

Fluttershy stopped dead in her tracks. That thought was like a sucker punch, but it was true, wasn’t it? As long as she’d come this far, why not? Why not put the icing on the cake and make sure Rainbow would never attempt to act like nothing had changed again?

Fluttershy spread her wings and didn’t even wince when they carried her higher than she was usually comfortable with. Was this what freedom felt like? Maybe this was how Rainbow felt when she performed death defying stunts. It crossed Fluttershy’s mind that there was probably a fairly crucial difference. While Rainbow was reckless, she might actually care that she could fall and die.

Fluttershy knocked hard on the door. Odds were that Rainbow wasn’t home, she seldom was, but it was worth a shot. There was no response so she knocked again, almost hard enough to damage the wood. She waited a while longer but, still, Rainbow did not appear.

With a sigh Fluttershy lifted her wings and flew away. Maybe Twilight would know where she had gone.

Fluttershy felt strange walking up to the library door. It had been, what, weeks? It felt like so much longer. She brought her hoof down, noting that her knock was not as quiet as it once would have been. She had changed a lot since she had first come out to her friends, no longer the cringing pony who ran sobbing from Twilight’s slicing words.

“Who’s— Oh, hello, Fluttershy.” Twilight looked down at the ground. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I’m looking for Rainbow Dash,” said Fluttershy, endeavouring to convey that, no, this wasn’t when they were going to have it out properly. “Last I saw her she wanted to see you about something. I figured you might know where she went.”

Twilight looked slightly relieved, but was tactful enough not to let the expression show blatantly. “She didn’t say. Sorry, I wish I could be more help.”

Fluttershy sighed, squashing the small spark of hatred that screamed, ‘If you wanted to be more help, you could start by being a better friend, not spitting in my face just because you can’t accept that I’m different.’ “That’s alright, I’m sure I can find her.” She smiled. That was important, she supposed. All these fake pleasantries were sickening and left Fluttershy with a bad taste in her mouth. Twilight knew the smile was fake and she knew Twilight knew that. “Thanks anyway.” Fluttershy lifted her wings, then took off.

As she flew away, she pretended not to her the desperate “Fluttershy, wait.” She was starting to find it harder and harder to care what Twilight thought.

The next two weeks passed fairly uneventfully for most residents of Ponyville. The weather team was a little behind schedule but not so much as to cause a panic. Most ponies didn’t even notice, simply going about their days as if nothing were amiss.

For Fluttershy, the days passed slowly. Each morning, she hoped to see Rainbow flying overhead. She hoped for just a glimpse so she could assure herself that Rainbow was ok.

Every time she heard reports that Rainbow hadn’t shown up for work, the knot of worry in Fluttershy’s stomach grew. Something was wrong, Rainbow never missed work. Even if she did, she would call in sick, she wouldn’t just slip off the radar like this.

It was on the fourteenth day since the experiment that Fluttershy decided she needed to know what was going on. Two weeks was enough, whatever was bothering Rainbow, she could share it with her best friend… or, once best friend.

It was with a sigh that Fluttershy knocked on the large double doors of Rainbow’s cloud mansion. There was no response. She hadn’t really expected one. She knocked again, sure that Rainbow was home.

When she was, once again, met with silence, Fluttershy walked away from the front door and around the back. Out here was the huge porch. Overhead was a delicately woven shade so a pony could sit out here for hours without worrying about the sun. The view was spectacular. From here, Fluttershy could see Ponyville spread out before her like a painting. She could also see mountains and, just visible in the distance, the grand city of Canterlot.

Turning from the picturesque scene before her, Fluttershy made her way to the lounge room window. Rainbow always left it open to allow a nice breeze to ventilate the place.

Fluttershy stepped inside, experiencing the usual brief moment of vertigo. Rainbow’s house was nothing less than a work of art. It was huge, the beautifully carved pillars smoothly giving way to a high domed ceiling. The furniture was all individually carved by Rainbow herself, each piece as exquisite as any professional crafts pony could have made. To look at her, one might not think Rainbow the type to create such a work but here was the evidence to the contrary. What truly boggled the mind, though, was the sheer size. Fluttershy had never had a full tour but Rainbow had hinted that there were at least a hundred rooms. The main living area was massive, and more luxurious than that of Celestia’s palace. Against one wall, the mother of all rainbow fountains gurgled cheerfully, the colours shifting and wavering through the spectrum. Sometimes Fluttershy speculated on how long this would have taken to build. A year? Ten?

And yet…. Fluttershy couldn’t help but feel like the space was pressing down on her. Despite the care that had obviously gone into creating it, the house didn’t feel homey. The atmosphere was sterile, almost cold. Perhaps it was because Rainbow didn’t like spending time here. This house didn’t feel lived in because it wasn’t, it being more usual for Rainbow to spend her nights sleeping in a tree and her days shooting through the sky in a technicolour blur.

It didn’t make sense; why go to all the trouble of building a palace more spectacular than the one in Canterlot and then spend no time here? Even if she didn’t like the house, she could make a fortune selling it. The money she would make from selling a house like this could keep her living in luxury for a lifetime. Scratch that, for several lifetimes.

Fluttershy shook her head and trudged over to an intricately carved staircase, working her way up towards the master bedroom.

The journey was longer than Fluttershy remembered and she soon grew weary of the same blank stretches of wall. It was odd, really, that after so much work making all the furniture, Rainbow had overlooked the walls. Throughout the entire house, Fluttershy had not seen a single painting or charcoal sketch. Perhaps that was another reason the place felt so sterile.

At last, Fluttershy found herself at the right door. She had no mind to admire just how grand this room looked, even from the outside, because now she was closer, she could hear the sobbing. She rushed to the door and wrenched them open, not even a little bit prepared for what she would find.

Rainbow Dash was not a pretty sight. Fluttershy felt like her guts had been ripped out and tied around her stomach. The sky-blue figure on the bed was curled up in a tight ball, sobs shaking it rhythmically. She had lost weight, a lot of weight. Rainbow was normally quite skinny but now she looked as though she hadn’t eaten a thing in weeks.

The second thing Fluttershy noticed was a sweet, musky odour that hung heavy in the air. She knew that smell only by instinct and when the recognition hit her, she felt tears sting her eyes.

She was at Rainbow’s bedside in a flash, laying a tentative hoof on her shoulder. Rainbow flinched away violently. She didn’t turn, only raised her wings around herself in a makeshift cocoon.

“What… what are you doing here? Go away!” she managed to choke out between her tears.

“Rainbow, there is not a power in Equestria that could persuade me to leave your side for one moment until you tell me what happened.”

Rainbow hunched in on herself tighter, seeming to want to shut out her friend’s existence.

The clock on the wall ticked slowly, lending an unhappy harmony to Rainbow’s quiet sobs.

Fluttershy lost track of how many times the minute hand made its way around the face, hearing only the gentle progression as the sound of fresh despair turned to soft breathing.

Rainbow was not asleep but at least the sobbing had stopped. That left only silence, punctuated by a never ending sequence of ‘tick, tick, tick….’

It was important to Fluttershy that she not be the one to break the silence. If she did that, this conversation would be on her terms and Rainbow would not tell her anything. All Fluttershy could do was wait and listen. She had often found in the past that the only way to make Rainbow talk, was to listen at her loudly. She was as stubborn as a mule and would never give in to being badgered. The only way forward was to let her take the lead.

At last, Rainbow said, in a voice cracked from crying. “I’m gay.”

Two words. Two words that, given a million years, Fluttershy would never have thought she’d hear from her friend. Her heart seemed to lurch and freeze both at once. She felt choked up and couldn’t have spoken even if she’d wanted to. Thankfully, Rainbow continued.

“I’m gay and it’s because of what Twilight did to me.”

That was a sucker punch. Finding her voice, Fluttershy said, “She did what? How is that even possible?”

Rainbow remained in place, refusing to turn and face Fluttershy. After a moment, she continued as though uninterrupted. “She came and asked for my help on something, some project she was working on. I didn’t think much of it because I was already angry at her for what’s happening between her and Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy shivered, only now realising what this was. As far as Rainbow was concerned, she was speaking to herself. It made sense in a way; if she could pretend she was alone, she could tell this story that obviously caused her so much pain.

“In the end I agreed. She hit me with this spell and there was a bright flash of light. It felt really strange, like all of a sudden there was no direction and I was floating, then, bam, I landed and I was ok. I thought nothing had changed. Then… then the mares at the café. I thought I was losing my mind and then I couldn’t stand it.

“I came to my room, my mind was spinning, like when I fell I accidentally landed on the ceiling. Then… dreams. I couldn’t take it…”

Her voice petered out and the sobs were back. Fluttershy feared what her friend would say next, knowing the smell that still hung in the air could only mean one thing.

After a time, the stuttering voice started up again. “So I decided to land right. The way I figured it, this was wrong. It wasn’t my natural state, so if I could be reminded of my natural state, I would be normal again. The only thing I could think to do…." she paused, letting the silence speak for her. "It was easier than I thought it would be. Where I was so nervous only weeks before, now it didn’t seem all that hard. I went to him, I propositioned him and I fucked him.” The words were careful, neatly arranged like a row of dominoes, ready to topple at the touch of a breeze.

Fluttershy felt her heart break. Tears, which had already begun to build up behind her eyes, now trickled down her cheeks in slow rivulets.

She didn’t expect the voice to continue, assuming that was the end. Nevertheless, after a few seconds, Rainbow said, “But it was wrong. It felt wrong to my very core. I tried, I really tried, but I- I couldn’t do it. I flew away halfway through.”
She finally sat up and Fluttershy found herself stunned once again. Rainbow’s face looked dreadful, the fur matted with tear tracks, eyes bloodshot and frantic.

“Shy?” Her voice was a whisper, innocent and pleading. “Can I sleep now?”

Fluttershy didn’t think, just reached forward and wrapped Rainbow in a tight hug. Rainbow stiffened but then relaxed, fully relaxed. It seemed as though she hadn’t fully relaxed for weeks. “Of course. Sleep now. I’ll be here when you wake.”

As the sun dipped below the horizon, it cast one final golden ray across two sleeping pegasi. Neither knew what was to come, but for once, they at least felt ready to find out.

Author's Note

So there you have it: chapter two. Not really much to say about this one. Sharp eyed readers might spot a Buffy reference, but it wasn't really intentional, kinda just one of them happy mistakes. Anywho, I hope you liked it.

Chapter three

Three are the friends that you can trust...

Rainbow awoke to the sound of soft breathing. She felt warm and safe. The dreams had left her alone last night, finally allowing her tormented mind some rest. She opened her eyes blearily. Across from her was the peaceful sleeping face of Fluttershy.

Yesterday’s events came rushing back and Rainbow couldn’t help the small smile that spread across her face. She knew that there would undoubtedly be a whole lot of complications to accompany this new development, but that seemed less terrifying than it maybe should.

A few more contented moments passed before Rainbow realised she was in bed with Fluttershy. This could very easily get very awkward. Rainbow rolled over, trying hard not to disturb the bed too much. She found her gait unsteady after the events of the day before. She sighed, feeling the weight pressing in again. This was the same weight that had kept her awake at nights and made the thought of food churn her stomach.

There was a rustle from behind and then there were warm hooves on her back. They began gently massaging, loosening tension that Rainbow hadn’t even known was there. She felt her muscles go limp under the gentle caress, her wings falling uselessly to her sides. She gave a deep involuntary sigh. She could feel the tears trying to come back, could feel the thin layer of control she had built slowly slipping.

Rainbow pulled away, turning to face a confused and still sleepy Fluttershy. She tried for a week smile that wound up feeling more like a grimace. “Good morning, Shy...” She trailed off, unsure what was expected of her. Should she offer to make breakfast? Maybe that would seem a little too… and anyway, she was no good at cooking. Usually she just made do with microwave oats.

“How are you feeling?” Fluttershy blinked and the sleepiness was gone, instantly replaced with a concern and care so sincere Rainbow flinched.

“I’m fine…. About last night, I’m sorry I dumped all that on you, I’ve just had a stressful few weeks.”

“Rainbow…”

“But I’m sure you’ve got things you need to be doing. Uh…”

“Don’t you dare.” The words were quiet but held the force of a gunshot. Fluttershy turned her gaze on Rainbow. Her eyes burned with fierce protectiveness despite being glazed with tears. “Now you can pretend to all the others and I don’t really care what you say to Twilight but you do not cut me out of this. You especially do not cut me out after how I saw you last night. By the looks of you, you haven’t had a decent night’s sleep for a while and haven’t had a meal in longer, so you do not try to pretend like nothing’s wrong.”

The smile, however false, fell from Rainbow’s face. Her entire posture slumped and if she wasn’t careful, she was going to actually give in to the temptation to let Fluttershy stay. Her heart throbbed, desperate to feel as at peace as she had last night. She shook her head. “I already said I was sorry for last night. I need to be alone right now.”

Fluttershy opened her mouth, then closed it, a strange fire igniting in her eyes. “If you can look me in the eye, if you can tell me you really want to be alone right now, then I’ll leave.” She set her gaze on Rainbow, locking her eyes in place.

Rainbow shuddered, and found she couldn’t do it. She fell forward, only to be caught in a warm embrace.

“Now, as long as I’m staying, how about I get you some breakfast?”

Rainbow gave a choked laugh. “I have microwave oats.”

“So this is what I don’t get,” said Fluttershy, breaking a silence that had lasted most of the way through breakfast. Rainbow looked up, a question in her eyes. “Why the house?” She continued. “I mean, if you don’t mind me asking. Why did you go to such trouble to build a house that’s… well, more like a palace, really?”

Rainbow pushed the sticky mass of oats around in her bowl. If it were possible to ruin oats, Fluttershy had done so. It really was amazing that she could prepare food for so many animals and still make Rainbow herself look like a gourmet cook. Besides, her appetite still wasn’t back and she felt more like throwing up than eating. “Why not?” she asked, shrugging. “I had the skill and I certainly had the time. I never planned for it to get this big, just, every time I walked in, it felt like it was missing something. Before I knew it, I was adding the hundredth room.”

“And did it ever work? Is it done?”

Rainbow looked around and shuddered a little. “No.”

Silence prevailed again, leaving room for all the little sounds. A breeze whistled slowly through the open window, playing lightly across Fluttershy’s silky fur. Her mane shifted a little, disturbed from its usual position. Rainbow sighed and pushed her bowl away untouched.

Fluttershy noticed the motion and gave a wan smile. “I’m sorry, I don’t often cook for myself and when I do, I usually end up ordering in.” She rubbed her hooves together nervously, seemingly unaware of the gesture. “Would you like to go out somewhere for breakfast?”

Rainbow felt a surge of panic well up within her. Obviously, Fluttershy saw the emotion written on her face, as she said, “Don’t worry, we don’t have to tell any of the others what happened.”

Rainbow smiled gratefully.

“Yet,” said Fluttershy, raising her hoof. “This is part of who you are now, they’re going to have to know eventually.”

Rainbow sighed. It seemed to come in waves; one moment, she felt almost normal and she could forget that anything was wrong, then something would remind her, a word, a gesture, a stray thought and suddenly she was chest deep in constricting panic. She felt as though her lungs were being compressed and nothing was ok, everything was coming apart at the seams and why couldn’t she just breathe?

She tried to fight down the rising panic, only barely succeeding when she felt herself enveloped in a warm embrace.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think… I thought you could….” Fluttershy trailed off, instead just holding Rainbow until the world stopped pressing in.

Rainbow righted herself, taking in a shaky breath. “I’m alright I just…”

“If you don’t want to go out for breakfast, that’s fine. I just thought it might be good for you to get out of the house.”

“You’re right. It’s just… could we maybe go somewhere quiet? I don’t want to be running into Pinkie when I feel like this.”

Fluttershy nodded, her mane flopping forward a little as she did so. “Mhm, I know a nice place on the edge of town, really small with friendly staff. Um, Rainbow?”

“Yea?”

Fluttershy’s smile was cheeky. “You might want to wash up a bit before going out.”

Rainbow flushed. She looked down at her coat, curling up inside into a little ball of quivering shame. Her sky-blue coat was oily and tussled. Her feathers were ruffled to the point of being dangerous to fly on. Her mane was a mess, well, more of a mess than usual. She smelled of stale sweat and self-pity. It really was a mystery how she had even gotten Big Mac to agree…. She swatted away the unpleasant thought, before it could reduce her to a sobbing heap once more.

She looked back at Fluttershy whose playful smile could not mask the underlying concern.

“Yea, I’ll do that,” said Rainbow, to break the tension.

“Good.”

Rainbow turned and headed in the direction of her favourite bathroom. It was a fair way from the main living area but well worth the drip. As she stepped inside, she happily inhaled the scent of bath essences. She had only ever found the one supplier of the particular coat shampoo she used and, despite the hefty price, never used anything else. Spring Sky, it was called and a more apt name had never been chosen. The scent was fresh, like flying through a heavy cloud and soft like the slightly tangy smell of fresh rain on grass.

“Mmm, I always wondered how you made your coat smell like that.”

Rainbow yelped and whirled around. Fluttershy was standing there, face a little pink.

“I mean, uh, It’s a unique smell, I thought it just came from weather patrol.”

“Fluttershy, what are you doing in here?”

Fluttershy’s face went hard again, that same spark reigniting in her eyes. “If you think I’m leaving you alone for one second, you are very mistaken.”

“I can bathe on my own, besides…” She scuffed the ground, feeling her cheeks heat.

Fluttershy sighed. “Oh come on. We took showers together in high school, didn’t we? Nothing’s changed.”

Rainbow huffed and, not feeling up to another argument, turned on the hot water. It wasn’t as if the shower was too small. This bathroom was her favourite for a reason. The shower was huge; at least six feet across with a nozzle big enough to make the torrent of water feel like a scalding rain.

Rainbow sighed as her muscles relaxed. The hot water felt amazing, washing away the tension of weeks. She raised her hooves, passing them through her tangled mane. She flinched when she felt them being moved gently aside. There was the squirting noise of her shampoo bottle and Fluttershy was massaging the suds into her friend’s scalp. Rainbow shivered, this being the first real contact she’d had since… well, there had been the night Fluttershy had spent in her bed but that felt different somehow.

Rainbow’s muscles tensed up again, but then she relaxed. Why complain? It was nice and she figured she probably deserved a little nice. She didn’t say a word as Fluttershy moved on to lathering her coat, then passing a brush through her mane and tail. Her touch was gentle as ever, never resting in any one place too long.

When the hot water had finally washed away the last remnants of soap, Rainbow climbed out of the shower, somewhat glad when Fluttershy allowed her to dry herself off. She felt warm, as close to content as she could be.

The two made their way to the front door in silence. Fluttershy seemed to be giving her space to think and Rainbow appreciated it. There was so much to deal with; what would she tell her friends? Would there be a flair up like there had been when Fluttershy came out? How would Twilight react, knowing she had caused it?

Rainbow was so lost in thought that she hardly noticed the chill air blow the last drops of water from her coat. She was just present enough to follow Fluttershy to a cute little café at the edge of Ponyville.

They found seats and, as she was scanning the menu, Fluttershy decided to break the silence. “You should go and visit with Applejack when you feel up to it.”

Rainbow felt her stomach tighten at the very thought. “After the thing with Big Mac? There’s no way she’d be happy to see me. What I did… it wasn’t alright.”

“So you’re just never going back?” Fluttershy looked sceptical.

“Well… no, I just don’t—” She sighed. “It’s too soon. I’m already dumping something pretty huge on her.” She gave a shaky laugh. “Hey there, Applejack. Sorry I rutted your brother then flew away and didn’t explain why. How’s he doing? Oh, by the way, Twilight hit me with a spell that made me gay, so now I’m here to rut you too.”

For a moment, blink and she’d have missed it, Rainbow could have sworn that Fluttershy’s expression shifted to one of hurt. Half a second later and it was gone, replaced with a wry smile. “Well, perhaps you shouldn’t put it quite like that.”

“Yea, maybe she’ll just laugh it off.” Rainbow glared moodily at her menu.

“Can I take your order?” Rainbow looked up at the waiter. He was chestnut brown with a black mane and kind brown eyes. In his hooves, he held a note book, pen poised over a page.

“Uh, large stack with maple syrup and ice cream,” she said, rattling off her usual order in lieu of having to think of one.

The stallion turned to Fluttershy. “And…?”

“Just a fruit salad, please.”

“Right away, Fluttershy,” he said, smiling.

The stallion walked away and, eager for a new topic, Rainbow said, “You know him?”

“Hmm? Oh, that’s Jot. He only puts on that Italian accent because he thinks it impresses ponies.” She shook her head realising she had been side tracked. “You know she wouldn’t say anything negative. When I came out, all she did was hug me and say that if I needed anything I should go straight to her.”

“I didn’t hear her say…”

Fluttershy looked down at her hooves. “You had already left.”

Rainbow, too, looked down at her hooves as a tense silence fell between the two ponies.

After a while, Rainbow said, “I’m really sorry about how I acted.” She sighed, knowing that this apology had been a long time in coming. She had never really made amends for how she had first reacted. Now that the time had come, she found herself grasping for words, unsure how to make Fluttershy realise that she really was sorry. “There’s no excuse for the way I acted. I just wanted so much to believe nothing had changed. I used to love talking to you about hot colts and comparing Blaze Sentry to a sexless eunuch. I wanted to believe that was real. Finding out that, not only was it not, but that you were putting on an act because you thought I couldn’t deal with who you really were…” she sighed again, unsure where this was going. “I just wanted you to know that I’m really sorry.”

Fluttershy looked a little conflicted, caught between sadness and the desire to forgive. Sadness won and she said. “But you couldn’t deal with who I was, with who I am.”

Rainbow didn’t flinch, just lowered her head. “Yea, I know. That’s probably one of the most painful things about this whole situation. The second you trusted me with a secret, I went and threw it in your face.”

Fluttershy looked as though Rainbow’s speech had taken her a little by surprise. There was a flicker, as though she was going to push her emotions behind a mask again, but then she gave a cautious smile. It was small but it was genuine, and that’s what made Rainbow feel like she could breathe again. “I guess we all make stupid mistakes.”

Rainbow laughed, a self-deprecating laugh. “Kinda feels like justice, doesn’t it?”

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“Well, think about it; I’m a jerk about you being gay, next thing I know, I’m dumped in exactly the same boat.”

“Can’t judge a pony until you’ve walked a mile in her shoes,” said Fluttershy.

“You don’t often wear shoes, I don’t often wear shoes, the only pony I’ve seen wear shoes is Applejack and they’re more like boots anyway.”

Fluttershy smiled, seeming glad of the more light hearted rout the conversation was taking. “Are you saying you couldn’t empathise with me because of my choice in footwear?”

Rainbow snickered. “That and your taste for pussy.”

“Uh, your pancakes,” said a furiously blushing Jot, placing a pile of golden deliciousness in front of Rainbow. He turned to Fluttershy, seemingly unable to meet her eyes. “Your fruit salad.” He scurried away, leaving Rainbow to grin sheepishly.

Fluttershy was less than impressed. “That should raise some interesting questions from my husband,” she said, levelling a glare at Rainbow.

“Um… husband?” Rainbow asked, utterly bewildered.

“Yes, the husband I described to Jot when he asked me out. Did you know I’m married to a big, white, extremely possessive stallion?” Fluttershy asked sweetly.

Rainbow scuffed a hoof on the grass. “Oh… sorry.”

Fluttershy sighed, dropping the glare and looking at her hooves. “Don’t be. That was before I came out. I’ve been meaning to tell him but I always chicken out.”

There was a lull in the conversation as both mares set about their respective meals. Rainbow was able to ponder her little slip for exactly three point one four one five nine seconds before the flavour hit her tongue. She had forgotten how good food tasted and she suddenly found herself ravenous. She gulped down the food, not caring about the stomach ache and brain freeze that were inevitable after such an action.

After a few more ponderous bites, Fluttershy asked, “When are you planning on telling the others?”

Rainbow pressed her hooves to her temples, deciding that the brain freeze had prevented her from hearing that last sentence. “Remind me to eat slower next time.”

“Rainbow…”

“I mean, it’s probably worse because I haven’t eaten in a while but you should warn me next time.”

"Rainbow..."

"And that's nothing compared to the stomach ache. I mean, it's totally worth it, but still..."

“Rainbow!”

“What do you want from me?” Rainbow snapped, jumping to her feet. “Do you want me to get a megaphone and walk around the street shouting that Twilight zapped me with a gay spell? Do you want me to get a hot mare and sex her up at the couples’ night? My head is still spinning, I have no idea what the hell I’m going to do with the rest of my week let alone the rest of my life and you want to help me with my grand coming out?” Rainbow’s eyes flared, her anger finally spilling into the shape of something she could use. “You know what? That’s damn rich coming from you. You haven’t even told anyone but your closest friends. Hell, you can play the straight mare and damn you do it well. So forgive me if I can still barely cope with the fact that the pony of my dreams no longer has the right equipment to get me off.” She stepped back, throwing her chair to the ground in the process. “So if you want my honest answer, it’s never. I’m not going to tell them a fucking thing! I’m not going to show up at the couples' night and I’m not going to take any more of this honesty crap! Here’s a helpful tip: in the future, if you want to lead by example, don’t be such a hypocrite!”

Rainbow turned to fly away, ready to take off and who cared if she was ever seen again. She was stopped by a hoof on her shoulder. She turned, expecting to see those caring, painfully sympathetic eyes staring back at her. Instead, she was gazing into pure rage. Before now, she had never had any idea what it was like to be on the receiving end of what was so foalishly called “The stare.” It was like looking into the very source of fire. She felt so small and so fragile.

“Don’t you dare.” Fluttershy punctuated each word by tapping her hoof into Rainbow’s chest. “You think this is easy for me? You think I don’t hate being stared at? Who do you think I am? I couldn’t be a lousy model because I couldn’t stand ponies looking at me, seeing me. So yes, I was scared, but I’m not seeing a whole lot more bravery from your front so maybe this is just scary, no matter what. Unlike me, though, you don’t have to do this alone, you don’t have to walk away from this. Do you know how selfish that would be? Do you have any idea what I would have given for someone who would give a crap if I killed myself?”

That sentence snapped the spell and Rainbow’s mind reeled away, stung. “You think I wouldn’t have cared? You’re one to talk about selfish. Oh poor Fluttershy had to go through coming out alone, had to face all this on her own. Maybe the reason I reacted so badly wasn’t about you being gay; maybe it was that you never trusted me enough to tell me. I could have—” Rainbow felt her voice hitch and was surprised to feel tears trickling down her cheeks. She lowered her voice, allowing the words to come out clearly. “I could have protected you if you had just let me in. I could have saved you from going through it alone. But no, little martyr Fluttershy has to do it all herself because heaven forbid that brash brazen Rainbow Dash ever show a shred of decency.”

As she panted, Rainbow noticed with strange detachment that Fluttershy, too, was crying. Even so, her voice was filled with that same quiet anger. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Rainbow felt like screaming. “Then fucking tell me!”

Fluttershy moved closer, her eyes blazing and, in that moment, Rainbow fully expected Fluttershy to punch her. Then her eyes went blank, all emotions once more hidden away, and then she wished that she had.

Fluttershy sat back down at the table, righting her own chair and returning to her salad. “It was nice talking with you, Rainbow.”

Now Rainbow did scream, the sound filled with frustration and pain. There was a flash and she was gone, recklessly fast, but that’s what Fluttershy had expected.

Fluttershy sighed, dropping the mask as soon as Rainbow was out of sight. After a moment, she felt a hoof on her shoulder. “You know you should go after her.”

She turned to see Jot, looking at her with a sad expression on his face. “I know.”

“You’re going to?”

“Yes.”

He hesitated, seeming a little unsure of himself, but ploughing on anyway. “Because you have feelings for her?”

“No. Because she deserves a friend right now. My feelings for her are not important.” Fluttershy took strength from the simple act of committing to a course of action.

Jot shook his head, his eyes a little misty. When he spoke, the fake Italian lilt was back. “Ah, Fluttershy, you break my heart.” As he turned to leave, he paused for a moment, saying, “For the record, you could have told me.”

Fluttershy stayed there for a while, needing nothing more than to cry for a while. When she was done, she got up, wiped her eyes, paid the bill, and took to the sky, making a beeline for Rainbow’s house.

Applejack looked into the mirror, wondering what her face had looked like before all this had happened. Had she always looked so tired? Had her eyes always carried that sadness? She didn’t think so.

There was a rustling sound behind her and Big Mac was standing there, solid as ever. “What can you hope to gain by staring at that?”

Applejack turned, a sad smile playing on her lips. “I can hope to figure out what went wrong.”

Big Mac didn’t shift; he remained as unmoving as a statue, his face as blank as ever. “And how’s that going? Have your friends stopped fighting yet?”

Applejack winced a little. It was unusual for Big Mac to confront her like this. Ever since Twilight’s coronation, he had barely spoken beyond what was strictly necessary. “What's got your tail all in a twist?” she asked, turning back to inspecting her reflection.

“Looking at that mirror ain’t gonna do much good. If you’re really unhappy with what it shows you, then go and fix what’s wrong.”

Applejack looked down at the sink, unable to look at herself any longer. Long moments of silence passed before she whispered. “I’m not sure I can fix this. I’m not even sure it’s my job to fix this.”

“And just what in the hay is that supposed to mean? They’re your friends aren’t they? Where do you get off acting like it’s not your responsibility to do what you can? I’ve known you since you were a little filly and I know it ain’t in your nature to give up so easy. So you get out there and you fix this. Dun’ matter whether it’s your job or not, if you don’t do it, who will?”

Applejack allowed herself one last sigh before hardening her resolve. Big Mac was right; this was something she had to do. She moved forward and wrapped him in a tight hug. She then kissed him on the cheek and said, “Thanks big brother.” before slipping out the door.

Applejack wasn’t sure what she would say to Spike when she arrived at the library. He had been extremely protective of Twilight since Fluttershy came out, deciding, perhaps, that someone had to be. There were no long lines of ponies queuing up to be Twilight’s friend right now. He was more tolerant of Applejack, simply because she had been the only one to enter with words of persuasion rather than anger, but tolerance only went so far. Applejack suspected that, when she did arrive, there was every chance he would deny her entry.

It was a hot day for the time of year, the pleasant temperature of spring yielding prematurely to the broiling heat of summer. The air was thick with the scent of flowers, lending a sickly sweet texture to the already stifling atmosphere.

As it turned out, when Applejack reached the library, Spike gave her one look, then gestured over his shoulder with a thumb. “She’s in the kitchen.”

Applejack made to move inside, then stopped. “Spike, are you alright? You look mighty tired.”

It was true. Spike’s face was drawn and there were dark rings under his eyes. He looked physically and emotionally drained.

“I’m fine,” he said, not meeting her eyes.

“Lying to the element of honesty? That’s a new one.”

Spike glared up at her, the exhaustion at least partially burned away by a sudden spark of anger. “What do you expect me to say? Everything I thought I had has fallen apart around me, the most important pony in my life is miserable, all her friends have turned on her because they’ve chosen to side with the pony I actually think is in the right and I can’t say that because someone needs to be there for Twilight. So I’m great, thanks for asking.” He strode past Applejack, knocking her shoulder in passing.

All Applejack could think to say was, “Where are you going?”

“Does it matter?”

Applejack told herself that, had she not something more important to do, she would have gone after him. In reality, she wouldn’t know what to say. What could she say? Would she tell him that everything would be alright? The truth was that it probably wouldn’t be. It was sometimes easy to forget how much Spike looked up to Twilight. He had adored her like a big-sister since the day he hatched and having to face this ugly facet to her character couldn’t be easy. What could Applejack say that wouldn’t sound like empty platitudes? She turned her back, disgusted. Being the element of honesty was all well and good until she wanted to lie to herself, then it was a real bitch.

She walked inside, too lost in thought to really watch where she was going. When she reached the kitchen, she found Twilight sitting at the table, a glass of lemonade in front of her. She looked up, not seeming surprised when she saw Applejack standing in the doorway.

“Hello, Applejack. Anything I can do for you?” She asked, without much hope. Applejack doubted any ponies had been to the library for a book in weeks.

“Can we talk for a minute?”

Twilight gazed dispassionately at her lemonade, looking as though she blamed all her troubles on a combination of water, sugar and lemon juice. “What would you like to talk about?”

Applejack took her time to form a response, pouring herself a glass of lemonade from the jug on the table top. She sat back and breathed a sigh. “Do you remember when you first found out about Pinkie-Sense?” It was a rhetorical question and so Applejack didn’t wait for an answer before continuing. “You were so desperate to figure out how it worked that I thought you’d go mad.” She chuckled. “I guess you did go mad in the end. What I always found strange, though, was that it was never the Pinkie-Sense itself that bugged you; it was the fact that there was something in this world that you couldn’t understand or explain. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t rationalize it. I was so impressed when you finally accepted her for who she was and moved on.” She looked speculatively at the table. “I don’t think the others ever fully appreciated how hard it was for you to do that.”

Twilight seemed transfixed with one spot on the floor, as though her very life would someday depend on her ability to draw every detail perfectly.

She didn’t seem keen on saying anything, though, so Applejack continued. “You learned a lot of things that day, but the one I was most impressed by was that you accept your friends for who they are. You accept them and you love them, warts and all. What happened, Twi? What changed?”

Twilight looked up and finally, finally, there was a tiny trace of doubt in her eyes. “I don’t know. I just— I couldn’t— it was too….” She looked away, seeming unable to hold Applejack’s gaze for more than about five seconds at a time. “I can’t do it. It’s too weird. What if she’s looking at me? What if she’s looking at one of you guys? What if she wants to eventually get married? Wouldn’t she just be happier if she was normal?”

Applejack was very conscious, at that moment, to keep her temper in check. All her previous discussions with Twilight had ended with Applejack losing her cool over some stupid, homophobic remark and leaving before she could do any real good. She took a deep breath and said, “Don’t you get it? This isn’t a choice, this is who she is.”

Twilight looked shifty, instantly setting off all kinds of alarm bells in Applejack’s head. “What if it was a choice? What if I could make her normal?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I was doing some research and I worked out that I could probably make a spell that would make Fluttershy straight.”

Applejack felt her stomach clench with anger. “You did what?”

Twilight, apparently sensing the approaching storm, said, “Don’t you see how easy this makes things? I just get her to come over and I—”

Applejack held up a slightly shaking hoof. “Twilight, I love you, but if you finish that sentence I will walk out that door and I will never walk back through it, do you understand me?”

Twilight flinched back, closing her mouth. “Yes.”

“Now I’ve tried to be supportive, I’ve tried to help you get you through this at your own pace and I’ve tried to be your friend. This ain’t about that anymore. Fluttershy is a strong, clever, brave, loving, beautiful, gay pony. You have to get this, Twilight: she ain’t our friend despite her sexuality, we love her for it. We accept that we don’t understand and we love her for challenging our assumptions.” Applejack sat back, giving Twilight an appraising stare, not much liking what she saw. “Look, you’ve lost Rainbow Dash, you’ve lost Fluttershy, you’ve lost Rarity and you’ve damn near lost me. Now you can fix this, you can waltz up to Fluttershy, drop to your knees and pray that she’s a better pony than you. She won’t forgive you right away and I suspect Rainbow will take longer still, but they will forgive you eventually. Hell, if you’re real lucky, they may even laugh about it someday, but I promise you, there are no friends at the end of the road you’re on.”

A few moments passed, wherein, Twilight occupied herself by scuffing at the hardwood floor with a hoof. She seemed to be struggling with something, which was at least better than righteous certainty.

After a few minutes, Applejack raised the glass of lemonade to her lips, only to find it held in place by a glowing purple nimbus.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Applejack tilted her head a little. “And why not?”

“Spike made it,” said Twilight, as though that explained it.

“So?”

She shrugged. “He’s not happy with how I’ve been treating Fluttershy. Since he thinks he can’t openly disagree with me, he finally snapped and decided to forget to add sugar to my lemonade.” Though her tone was light hearted, Twilight could not hide the tears that pooled at the edges of her eyes.

Applejack only nodded, deciding not to ask why Twilight had been drinking it anyway. How close had she already been to giving up? Perhaps it was just wishful thinking, but Applejack liked the idea that, just maybe, Twilight would have gotten past her bigotry on her own.

She gave a mostly real chuckle. “What, no letter to the princess?”

Twilight tried for a smile that, in truth, just looked sad. “I think she’s done enough damage.”

Author's Note

There it is folks. I hope you enjoyed this exciting new installment and will join me next week for another thrilling chapter.

Chapter four

Four is the pony whom soon you must...

Fluttershy half expected the house to be locked when she arrived. Instead, all the doors were open and she was able to walk right in. Rainbow was lying on one of the couches. Her eyes were open, but they didn’t seem to really see. She stared blankly at the ceiling, not moving save the rise and fall of her chest.

Fluttershy approached cautiously, afraid that this interaction would just give rise to another shouting match. She needn’t have worried. When she was close enough, Rainbow said, “Hello, Fluttershy.”

“Hello.”

Rainbow gave a bitter laugh. She rolled over and sat up so she could face her friend. “That’s all you’ve got? ‘Hello’? That’s lame.” Her words were harsh but her tone was only tired.

Fluttershy smiled weakly. “Yes, I suppose it is. Do you want to talk?”

“No.” Rainbow sighed before gesturing with her head for Fluttershy to sit down. “Park your flank.” Fluttershy sat down beside Rainbow, still a little apprehensive. “Six and a half years,” she said, after a while.

Fluttershy tilted her head on one side. “What?”

“It took me six and a half years to build this house,” she elaborated. “At first it was just a little shack I threw together. It didn’t seem big enough so I started adding to it. Six and a half years later….” She shrugged. “After a while, I guess it just became a habit. Every time I got a little stressed or bored or lonely or frustrated I’d build an extra wing.”

“What made you stop?” asked Fluttershy, now genuinely curious.

“It got too big. I thought about selling it, but I knew I’d only end up building another one. It’s strange; it’s as though one part of me needs to have the best palace in Equestria, and another part gets overwhelmed by the size. I guess that grandiose streak was always going to be my undoing.” She laughed again, this time with a little more real humour.

Fluttershy smiled. “I bet Rarity would kill to get a look at this place.”

“Yea, I guess she probably would.”

There was a long silence as Rainbow contemplated the gurgling rainbow fountain in the corner. Fluttershy waited patiently, knowing that Rainbow would speak when she was ready. Sure enough, after a few long minutes, she whispered. “I know I’m going to have to tell them. I realised that after I stormed off, earlier. They’ll all be expecting me to take Big Mac to the couples’ night.” She turned to Fluttershy. “But I can’t do it without your help…” she trailed off, clearly uncomfortable. “You’re my best friend and….”

Fluttershy reached out and lay a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder, smiling. “I told you I wouldn’t let you do this alone.”

“Thanks, Shy.” She smiled cautiously. “If… if you wanted to— to stay here for the next few days, uh, I have lots of rooms. You should see the main guest room. It has an en suite bathroom and a balcony and everything.”

“That sounds wonderful.”

Late that night found Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash lying comfortably on the couch chair in the living room. Rainbow was beginning to realise she hadn’t spent that much time with her friend since flight school. When they had parted ways, they had left that part of their friendship behind. After reuniting in Ponyville, there had always been another pony present when they were together. She wondered if Fluttershy was thinking the same thing.

Throughout the day, they had done nothing but sit and talk. It had been a bit strained at times, but Fluttershy seemed to have decided that she wouldn’t push Rainbow to come out to her friends. A fact for which Rainbow was extremely grateful.

There were no fires in cloud houses, but built where a fire place would be housed in an earth pony residence, was a glass container in which lightning flickered. It gave off about the same amount of heat as a fire and, Rainbow had always thought, was much more beautiful. It made a gentle buzz that, at first, might sound jarring but after a while, blended into the silence like melted butter.

The conversation was currently in a lull. Rainbow wondered if it was a natural silence or if she should feel awkward. As she watched the lightning, the question that had been bobbing around her mind for the past month, nagging at her, resurfaced and, here, now, in the glowing light from a jar of lightning, she felt she could finally ask it.

“Fluttershy, do you ever… notice any of our friends?”

For a time, Fluttershy said nothing, simply gazing at the flickering light. She shifted position, flipping over so her belly was exposed and her hooves stuck up. Rainbows eyes traced the gentle curves of her body, right down to the velvety flank and butterfly cutie mark. The way her soft physique caught the harsh white light caused a contrast that was nothing short of breathtaking. Her eyes were luminous, the blue only accentuated by the same light that so flattered her form. It hit Rainbow, then, how different this Fluttershy was to the Fluttershy she had thought she knew. Gone was the cowering and squeaking. She now seemed entirely comfortable in her own skin. The difference was subtle and yet impossible to miss. What was left after taking away such a fundamental part of who she was as a pony, though? What still made her, her? After what felt like minutes, but was probably only seconds, Fluttershy said “Yes,” shaking Rainbow from her trance.

Rainbow felt uncomfortable. She had expected… what? Denial? An honest negative? She had expected anything other than an open, unashamed ‘yes.’

Fluttershy looked up when Rainbow said nothing. “Does that bother you?” she asked genuinely.

“No… I guess not.” Rainbow glanced up at the clock. “Hey, it’s nine twenty, you hungry?” she asked to change the subject.

Fluttershy smiled pleasantly. “What did you have in mind?”

“Pizza and a movie?” said Rainbow, hopefully.

Fluttershy grinned. “That sounds cheesy.”

Fluttershy was roused from slumber by the clatter of china. She had fallen asleep halfway through the movie. It was just some action shoot-‘em-and-run sort of deal. Pretty typical Rainbow Dash. The cops were chasing the hero or maybe the hero was chasing the bad guy, she hadn’t really been paying much attention.

Rainbow was in the kitchen washing the dishes.

“Can’t sleep?” asked Fluttershy, placing her hooves on Rainbow’s shoulders.

“My mum used to say that if you’re lost or confused, you should wash the dishes.”

Fluttershy felt tense muscles relax under her soft caress. “Is it helping?”

Rainbow shuddered as Fluttershy’s hoof found a particularly tense spot. “To be honest, I think she was just trying to get me to do chores.”

“It’s too bad she never got to see this place. She would have been proud.”

Rainbow sighed in pleasure and rolled her shoulders. “Yea, I’m sure she’d be real proud,” she said, her voice suddenly turning bitter. “She must be turning in her grave. If she were alive, she would disown me.”

“That would be her loss. You have a lot to be proud of, Rainbow,” said Fluttershy seriously. “You were crowned the best young flyer by the Wonderbolts themselves, you’re the most dedicated local weather pony, you embody the element of loyalty and you’re my best friend.”

Rainbow pulled away from Fluttershy’s grip. “Oh yea, and I’m gay. Do you think anyone would take all those achievements seriously if they knew?”

Rainbow placed the last dish on the drainer, emptied the sink, rinsed off her hooves and walked back into the lounge room.

“I can just see the headlines: ‘Dyke crowned best young flyer. Parents panic about the example their foals are being shown’.”

“I think headlines are usually a little shorter than that.”

“You’re right, how about ‘Fillyfooler flies and parents panic’?”

Fluttershy smiled. “Or ‘Rainbow Dyke makes love to the sky’?”

Despite herself, Rainbow chuckled. “How ‘bout ‘Best young flyer seen making eyes at Spitfire’?”

Fluttershy laughed quietly. “‘The daring dive of Dyke Dash’.”

Rainbow flopped onto the couch, a begrudging smile on her face. Fluttershy sat beside her, putting a hoof around her shoulders. “It could be worse.”

Rainbow snuggled into her friend’s embrace. “Oh? Tell me how it could be worse.”

“Twilight’s spell could have made you transgendered. You’re athletic but can you imagine how much harder that would be?”

Rainbow shifted a little. “I think I had a transgendered cousin. I’m not really sure, we all made fun of him, though,” she said sleepily. “His voice sounded like a filly’s and he had a really delicate face.”

“You teased him? Rainbow, that’s awful.”

“Well I know that now. It’s easier to empathise now that I have some idea of what he was going through.” She yawned hugely. “Well, he was either transgendered or very, very gay.” She yawned again. “I should probably go to bed,” she said, making no move to get up.

“That’s ok, why don’t you just sleep here tonight?”

Rainbow smiled, nestling her head into the soft fur on Fluttershy’s chest. “Yea, that sounds like a good idea.”

Fluttershy stroked Rainbow’s cheek, a tender smile on her face. She could feel her wing cramping up already, her right for-hoof had gone dead and there wasn’t anywhere she would rather be.

Rainbow murmured drowsily as sleep overtook her, “Goodnight, Fluttershy. Love you.”

“Goodnight, Rainbow Dash.” Fluttershy’s heart was hammering, even as she told herself to dismiss what Rainbow had just said. It probably meant nothing; a thoughtless slip of the tongue, but if it did mean something…. No, she couldn’t let herself think like that, the last thing she needed right now was more emotional turmoil. Still, either way, it was unlikely she would get much sleep that night.

“So bongo, bongo, bong I don’t wanna leave the Congo oh no, no, no, no, no…”

Rainbow awoke slowly, her whole body telling her something was wrong, something was very, very wrong.

“Bingle bangle bungle I’m so happy in the jungle I refuse to go.”

Rainbow sat bolt upright, saying, “Nonononononononono shitshitshitshitshitshit.” She bolted into the main living area to find her record player had been removed from its hiding place. Worse, it was playing one of the records from her tumble locked safe. She lifted the needle from the record and stowed it back in the safe.

“Good morning,” said a cheery voice from behind her. “How are you feeling?”

Rainbow spun around, her cheeks bright red. “What were you thinking snooping around my stuff?” she snapped. “That was private. How did you even unlock the safe?”

Fluttershy, looked innocent; a little too innocent. “I just tried lots of combinations until I got it right. Why two one six? And why does the safe have ‘G.E.C.K.’ written on the side?”

Rainbow scowled. “It’s a private joke.”

“But why do you hide those albums? There’s some good stuff in there, I love The Andrews Sisters.”

“Can you imagine if Applejack found out I listen to music from before Granny Smith’s time? I’d never hear the end of it.”

Fluttershy sighed. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell.”

Rainbow turned her back, grumbling, “Good,” rather churlishly.

Rainbow headed towards the kitchen, ready to perform her morning ritual of checking if, against all odds, there was something easy and tasty in the kitchen. Fluttershy followed, quietly watching as Rainbow raided her own kitchen. After several minutes of searching, which only yielded half a banana, some day-old, burned pancakes and some sour apple cider, Rainbow turned to Fluttershy. She smiled sheepishly. “Don’t suppose you want to go and get some real breakfast? I promise I won’t yell at you this time.”

“Sure.”

“Just, not that one we went to last time.”

“That’s ok, I know several others.”

Steam filled the large bathroom, making the air thick and the glass opaque. Rainbow stood in the flow of hot water, eyes closed. She sighed deeply as Fluttershy’s hooves gently smoothed out her feathers, ruffled as they were from sleeping on the couch.

Rainbow had not really been surprised when Fluttershy followed her to the shower. Even so, she still hadn’t decided how she felt about it. It was… nice… in a way. After everything that had happened, it would be unnerving to be left alone. Then again, something felt different. Fluttershy had been acting strange all morning. It was hard to pinpoint how, or what had changed, but her glances seemed too long, her expression unreadable, her eyes searching.

Rainbow shivered a little as Fluttershy rinsed the conditioner from her coat. She pulled away, not really sure why she suddenly felt uncomfortable, but knowing she did.

Fluttershy looked at her quizzically. “Is something wrong?”

Rainbow shifted her weight from hoof to hoof, gazing intently at the drain as the last of the soap was washed away. She took a deep breath and looked her friend in the eye. It was odd, really, the way her heart fluttered at the thought of doing that; of looking into Fluttershy’s eyes. When she did, though, they were just blue. Just the same blue as ever, neither scary, nor daunting. “I don’t know, you tell me. Come on, Shy, you’ve been acting a little off all morning.”

Fluttershy looked away. Rainbow couldn’t help but notice the way her expression did not slide away like it would have only days before. She wondered if this was because Fluttershy didn’t want to hide her feelings or if she simply couldn’t. “I’m fine.”

Rainbow moved closer, instinct telling her to comfort a friend. She wrapped her hoof around Fluttershy’s shoulders. “Whatever it is, you know you can tell me.”

Fluttershy looked up and it might just have been an accident that her nose brushed against Rainbow’s cheek. She smiled gratefully. “I know. Thank you.” She hesitated and, for a moment, it seemed as if she might say more. A few beats and the moment was gone. “Now, can I finish washing the conditioner out of your coat?”

Rainbow hesitated for a moment, wanting an answer but also not wanting to cause Fluttershy any discomfort. In the end, she just nodded and turned. There was a tense silence, then Fluttershy said, “Will you want me to remind you not to scarf your food today or are you going to remember for yourself?” and the chatter started up again.

The clock ticked slowly, lending a soft rhythm to the comfortable silence. Rainbow was lying belly up on her favourite couch, drifting in that state where one is too tired to move but not tired enough to sleep. She reached up and rubbed a hoof across her bleary eyes.

At breakfast, Fluttershy had suggested they make a time to meet up with the others, if not so Rainbow could tell them what had happened, then at least to assure them that they needn’t worry. Rainbow had resisted, saying she wasn’t ready to face that yet and was grateful when Fluttershy did not pursue the issue. She knew it would have to happen at some point and the thought didn’t scare her as much as it once had, but even so, she told herself it was not something that couldn’t wait at least a few more days.

Rainbow was pulled from her reverie by the sound of hoofsteps coming from just beyond her line of sight. After a few seconds, Fluttershy had flopped down beside her and snuggled in close. Rainbow didn’t say anything as Fluttershy opened the book she was holding— blue cover with two clouds on the front, one black, one white— and continued reading.

Rainbow found a strange comfort in the solid ‘thump, thump’ of her friend’s heartbeat. It felt good to have an anchor to reality that soothed the thoughts she hadn’t even known were turbulent. Rainbow felt her breathing slow as the clock continued to tick, not really noticing when Fluttershy closed her book and set it aside.

They stayed like that for quite some time, not needing to talk or think, only to feel. After what felt like a blissful eternity cut short, Fluttershy shifted her position, turning so she could Face Rainbow. “We should go to bed, you don’t want to sleep on the couch again, do you?”

Rainbow wrapped her hoof more tightly around Fluttershy, pulling her closer again. “I don’t care,” she said, half knowing that she would regret it when she woke up tomorrow with a crick in her neck.

Fluttershy smiled tenderly. “Come on,” she said, standing and helping Rainbow to her hooves. “You don’t want to be all stiff tomorrow.”

And so, half leaning on Fluttershy, Rainbow made her way to the master bedroom. When she reached her bed, she fell onto it without any hesitation, not even bothering to wrap the covers around herself.

After a few hesitant seconds, Fluttershy joined her, tucking the covers around both of them. Rainbow looked at her quizzically. not really objecting, just curious.

Fluttershy only smiled sweetly and said “Goodnight.”

Too tired to make a fuss, Rainbow shrugged and pulled Fluttershy closer, deciding she might as well make the best of it.

The clock ticked on deaf ears as both ponies quickly slipped into the realm of dreams.

Light filtering through lids becoming dappled and blurred. A breath, the air smells of a foreign smell that is also so familiar, there is another pony in the bed. Spring flowers, lavender and a hint of musk, the pony is Fluttershy. Warmth, the covers are toasty warm and as comfortable as a dream. Contentment, a warm flood over the chest like a nice bath or a tender hug. Love, a contented smile.

Rainbow smiled. This was the seventh night in a row that she had slept without nightmares. Fluttershy had never made a move to return to her own bed and Rainbow hadn’t asked her to. She may have her pride, but after so long waking up in tears, pride could go fuck itself. If Sleeping with Fluttershy meant waking up to this pleasant warm feeling all through her chest and this strange relaxed contentment, then that was reason enough. Throughout this past week, Fluttershy had always been there, seldom more than a few feet from Rainbow and always ready to lay a hoof on a shoulder or offer a gentle hug. It was odd, but somehow, Rainbow didn’t mind. It was… nice. Perhaps it was just nice to have someone who cared.

She rolled over, wrapping the still sleeping Fluttershy in a soft embrace. One week. It had been one week since Fluttershy had decided to stay here. Rainbow suspected that, at some point, she had only remained because both of them had grown accustomed to it. Then again, maybe Fluttershy would only trust that Rainbow had recovered when she came out to her friends. Well, that was going to happen sooner rather than later. The couples’ night would be upon them in just over two weeks and it wouldn’t do to leave this kind of surprise til the last minute. Rainbow sighed at the thought. The idea still daunted her, but not as much as it once had. She could at least contemplate it without feeling physically nauseous, which was progress, she supposed.

Rainbow would have been happy to simply lie there and take stock of her life for hours, but, as it happened, Fluttershy chose that exact moment to blink blearily. She looked over at Rainbow and smiled. “Good morning, you.”

“Morning, Shy. Sorry to wake you.”

Fluttershy snuggled closer. “I’ll live.”

Rainbow sucked in a deep breath, preparing to do something she knew she would regret. It was about time. “Shy…?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think…” she hesitated, then plunged on. “I was thinking today we might have lunch with the others.” She tensed, aware that she had flung herself off the cliff. She’d said it now, she had committed, if not to Fluttershy, then to herself, that she would come out to her best friends.

Fluttershy was silent for a long moment. Rainbow could almost hear her thinking. At last, she said, “Are you doing this because you feel ready or because you think you should?”

“I feel like I should… and I feel ready. At least, as ready as I’ll ever be.”

Fluttershy nodded, her grip growing just a little tighter. When she spoke there was a touch of hesitance in her voice that Rainbow couldn’t explain. “Do you want to see them one by one or all at once? I can tell you from experience that it’s easier just telling one pony.”

“Do you think I should just tell Applejack for today?” Rainbow asked, aware that this was a copout. At least it was close enough to what she had to do that her conscience wouldn’t pester her.

Fluttershy seemed to think for a moment. “I can’t tell you how to do this; it has to be your decision all the way.” She smiled and gave Rainbow a little squeeze. “But I’ll support you no matter what you decide.”

Rainbow smiled and, because it seemed right, kissed Fluttershy on the nose.

Fluttershy looked up and perhaps it was just Rainbow’s imagination, but her cheeks looked a little pink. “What was that for?”

Rainbow’s cheeks went a little pink too, but she didn’t really care. She couldn’t imagine letting herself be this vulnerable with Pinkie Pie or Applejack or any of the others, but with Fluttershy, it seemed… right. Rainbow figured it was because Fluttershy had seen her breakdown after the run in with Big Mac. After something like that, there wasn’t much more vulnerable she could be. “I’m just grateful. I can’t imagine what I would have done if you hadn’t been here.”

Fluttershy’s expression was difficult to read, save for the fact that she was blushing a little harder. “You would have managed by yourself. If I could do it, you could too,” she managed. It was a feeble dismissal that, for some reason, made Rainbow smile.

“Probably, but I’m glad I didn’t have to find out. Thank you for being here,” she said, partially because it was true, but mostly just to see what effect it would have.

She wasn’t disappointed as Fluttershy looked very flustered indeed. She struggled with herself for a moment, then she tackled Rainbow, pinning her to the bed. “Stop that.”

Rainbow laughed and easily flipped her less athletic friend. “Make me.”

Fluttershy struggle feebly for a few seconds before giving in. “Let me up.”

“No.”

Fluttershy’s face was turning bright red. She struggled again, more desperately this time, trying to break the eye-contact the position forced on her. “Rainbow, let me up.” There was something different in her voice, now. Rainbow rolled off, sensing she had done something wrong.

Fluttershy rolled quickly off the bed. She turned her back and walked towards the kitchen without a word.

Rainbow got up too, determined to find out what was wrong. She caught up with Fluttershy in the kitchen.

“Shy, what’s wrong?”

“I’m fine.”

Fluttershy was in the kitchen making tea, all the while keeping her back to Rainbow.

“Come on, you can’t actually expect me to believe that. You’re not a good liar at the best of times.”

Fluttershy didn’t say anything, merely kept bustling around the kitchen. Eventually, Rainbow came up behind her and wrapped her hooves around her friend’s chest. Fluttershy flinched and pulled away, finally spinning to face Rainbow. “Please just let it go.” There it was again; that slightly desperate edge. Her face was still flushed, seeming to radiate heat.

“Fluttershy…” Rainbow hesitated for a moment, unsure of her course of action. Making up her mind, she stepped forward and laid her hoof on Fluttershy’s, grateful when she didn’t pull away. “This is silly. I can see something is wrong, so why don’t you come sit down and tell me what it is?”

Fluttershy hesitated, but seemed to be calming down a little. She nodded reluctantly and walked sedately into the lounge room, not actually inviting Rainbow to follow, but not objecting when she did.

Once they were seated, Rainbow said, “Now, what is it?”

Fluttershy looked up, meeting Rainbow’s eyes. There it was; that same feeling Rainbow always got when looking Fluttershy in the eye. It was like a little jolt in her heart and a light feeling in her stomach before she remembered that this was Fluttershy and why was she so nervous about Fluttershy?

“Rainbow…” she looked away, seeming to lose what little resolve she had.

That was all she said, but something in the way she said it struck a chord. Rainbow found herself looking at her best friend as if for the first time, seeing everything she had once missed. She was suddenly flying around as a filly, aware that the only pair of eyes really watching her were Fluttershy’s. She was sitting under sheets talking about the colt she had a crush on while Fluttershy looked at her with huge, dewy eyes. She was in detention with Fluttershy, who hadn’t actually gotten in trouble, but had stayed anyway to keep Rainbow company.

This time, Fluttershy didn’t look up, just whispered to the couch cushion, “I can’t tell you.”

And now she was hearing those words again when she asked Fluttershy who she was taking to the couples’ night, only this time she saw her friend’s posture, saw her eyes, just as dewy, just as easy to read as they had always been. Now she was at the café, listening to Fluttershy telling her that she couldn’t possibly understand what she had gone through. Only now, Rainbow believed her.

There was a long, long, silence as Rainbow’s heart seemed to beat at thrice its normal rate. Now she lay in Fluttershy’s embrace as she drifted off to sleep, the words she had whispered so important and yet just out of reach.

She looked at Fluttershy, her best friend, and said, “Oh.”

Fluttershy looked up, her cheeks burning as the final secret between them vanished. She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t need to speak for Rainbow to know just how scared she was. Rainbow didn’t speak either, merely pulled Fluttershy into a tight embrace. Though her heart raced, she also felt a strange calm. Sure of her actions, she nestled her muzzle against Fluttershy’s ear and whispered something.

Fluttershy was silent for a long moment, then she too said, “Oh.”

Author's Note

My editor was rather miffed when I left him with this for three days. Hmmm... sorry about that. What's worse, writers block is playing hacky sack with my intellect, so the next chapter may be late. I won't say how late because, at the moment, deadlines are freaking me out like Kevin Rudd freaks out homaphobes. I guess you'll just have to be patient with me... or you could storm off in disgust... I guess that's an option too... please don't. :( Anyway, until next time. And, for what it's worth, I'm sorry

(Oh, and sorry this chapter is a little late. I had a really busy day)