Haters Vs Bronies (A story without a clever title)

In the bedroom of the Luke Hobbs, his computer screen flickered in front of him as the tapped on his mouse. “Come on, you dumbass! Get out of there!” he shouted into his headset microphone.

On the screen in front of him were three figures dressed in strange costumes. One was a man in a full-body costume colored in red and blue with black web-designs all across the red parts of the man’s costume.

Another was a man in a yellow costume with three blade-like claws coming from each of his hands.

With the last being, a giant green behemoth that smashed everything around him.

Luke clicked on his red and blue clad hero, known as Spider-Man, and clicked a bar set of abilities at the bottom of the screen. “What does that fucking dumbass think he is doing?”

A voice came over the headset, “I don’t know, dude, but if that fucking noob makes us lose, I’m going to be pissed!”

The friend over the headset was no doubt his friend, Curt. He and Curt had been friends since the fourth grade. Now sophomores in high school, their friendship remained a strong one.

“Me, too,” Luke replied.

“Me, three,” another voice came on the line.

That voice belonged to Jacob, for sure. Jacob was another one of his friends. They had only been friends for a year, but they had a lot in common. Luke once thought it was because Jacob simply wanted to be one of the cool kids, but Jacob assured him it was not the case.

The trio was locked in an intense game of strategy, tactics, and mouse-clicking. It was the most popular superhero game out on the market, and was steadily growing. Marvel: Domination. A game where players could use their favorite Marvel heroes such as Spider-Man, Iron Man and Hulk and defeat other players using other characters in a battle ground for domination.

In this recent game, they were playing side-by-side with a player named ‘HotNakedNurse1333’, who was playing Iron Man.

Luke tapped on his keyboard, writing a message to the player. Dude, you keep getting killed because you tank so much! Let Wolve take the damage!

Luke couldn’t help but look at the score screen. The score screen revealed how many KO’s and KO’d each hero had. He was in last place as far as KO’s, but his KO’d score was pretty low. HotNakedNurse easily had the most KO’d. As his eyes wandered back to the text bar in the corner, a message came from Iron Man’s player.

Fuck you! Iron Man is the fucking shit!

Luke typed in his response as he shook his head in frustration. This player had been pissing him off the whole game. He would run in without help against much more experienced players, he wouldn’t communicate with the team and he would constantly insult the others for his failures. He hated players like that and there were many of them.

At dealing damage, you asshole! Not taking it!

As he looked down, he saw the name ‘Sexyplayaa’, aka, Curt’s username, appear with a text bar.

God, are you THAT stupid?! When we tell you to fucking pull back, pull back!

Luke grunted in frustration as the Iron Man character was KO’d, once again. “This is going to be a long ass game,” he spoke into the headset. Even though he couldn’t see his friends’ faces, he knew they were in full agreement.

After several minutes, which seemed to be even longer due to Iron Man’s complete pwnage, the game finally ended in their victory.

“Holy shit, dude,” Luke heaved as he leaned back in his chair, rubbing his head in irritation.

“Dude, that was a long ass game,” he heard Jacob’s voice through the headset.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m blocking that loser,” Curt said.

Luke nodded in agreement, despite the fact that neither of his friends could see him. With a click of his mouse on the exclamation point icon, he would be forever blocked from HotNakedNurse. He scrolled down to his list of blocked players, which was far more extensive than he thought. There must have been 40, or so, players.

“Dude, I fucking kicked ass that game,” Curt stated. Luke eyed the seventeen KO’s that Curt’s character, Wolverine had completed.

“That’s because you stole half my kills, asshole!” Jacob whined. Despite the fact that they knew it was KO’s, they always called it kills or deaths for some reason. It just seemed to roll off the tongue better than KO’s or KO’d.

“Can I help it if Wolverine’s claws cause bleeding?” Curt replied.

Luke finally intervened. “Okay, you guys, I’m probably going to call it a night.”

“Yeah,” Jacob said. “I’d better call it too. My dad’s on my case again. School night and all that.”

“Well, if you guys need me, I’ll be owning it up with Wolverine it,” Curt said as Luke received a message on his computer stating that BatmankillsSuperman334, aka Jacob, disconnected from the chat room.

“Don’t you play any other character besides Wolverine?” Luke asked.

“No, why?”

“Because he’s fucking broken!” Luke shouted. “He deals way too much damage, can tank, has a healing factor and causes bleed.”

“Well, at least I don’t play pussies like Spider-Man.”

“Spider-Man is not a pussy!”

“The fuck is isn’t. He deals almost no-“

Curt’s rant was cut short by Luke disconnecting the chat room. Luke and Curt would always get into senseless fights like that. They would usually make up by tomorrow, but right now he was pretty upset.

Luke clicked out of the game and clicked on the internet icon. “Maybe some stupid videos will cheer me up.”

As he pulled up YouTube, he began watching stupid little videos, most of which involved cats, politicians and viral video reviews. He knew there was no reason to watch them, other than the fact that some of them were pretty damn funny.

One such video involved a woman drinking a glass of water, but her pet cat would constantly grab it from her hands and drink it as a person would. Another video involved a kitting attempt to run up a slide for at least 30 seconds.

As the night went on, more and more videos caught his eye. As he clicked into the suggestion box once more to find another video to watch, he saw something that stood out above all others. It was a brightly color pink horse with a cheery grin on her face.

“What the hell?” he thought to himself as he eyed the image. His curiosity peaked a bit. How could a pony be on his suggestion list? He looked at the title of the video reading ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’. He started to recall the My Little Pony franchise from earlier in his life.

“Isn’t that a show for little girls? Why the hell would it be on my recommendations?"

Luke desperately tried to ignore it with another video, but as he tried even more of the strange horse appeared in the suggestion box. This time, appearing with other color horses. His curiosity grew. His could wrap his head around why a group of brightly colored horses would appeal to so many. Finally, his curiosity got the better of him. He moved his mouse over to the first video and clicked the link.

A soft melody started to play as a voice came over his headphones.

“Once upon a time in the magical land of Equestria”

Luke continued to watch the screen, silently thinking to himself, “Oh, boy. This is going to be lame.”

The night pressed on as video link after video link was clicked. He had just finished watch an episode where the blue Pegasus, known as Rainbow Dash, had just completed the stunt called the Sonic Rain boom, a powerful sonic boom that also somehow broke the light spectrum.

As the episodes went, he caught himself leaning forward in his chair, as if he was interested in what the ponies were doing.

As the ending credits rolled, he looked at the time on his computer. It stated 5:45. He had to be at school in a few hours and he had been watching the show for at least eight. He couldn’t believe what his eyes were telling him. He had been watching this show about magical horses for eight hours straight. As he picked himself up off the chair, a thought forced him to sit back down.

“One more episode wouldn’t hurt.”

The morning came very quickly for Luke as he finished what he could of the show’s first season. He dragged himself into the restroom, brush his teeth and hair. He woozily made his way back to his room and dressed himself for school.

He mind could still hardly believe what he had done. He had watched a show that was normally for little girls, yet found himself enjoying it. The animation was pretty solid, the music was good and the voice acting was top notch. And yet, it was a show about ponies. A show for little girls.

He started to think to himself. What would Jacob and Curt think of me watching this show? What would they think about watching the show? He asked himself these questions as he jumped in his car and made his way to school.

He made his way to his locker as the bell for school to begin had yet to ring. He constantly rubbed his eyes, desperately trying to rid himself of his exhaustion, but to no such avail.

“Hey, Luke,” a voice from down the hall called to him. He looked over to see Curt and Jacob heading his way.

“Oh, hey, you guys,” he replied as he rested his head against the locker door, trying to hide his face. He was certain his red and puffy eyes would give his restless night away.

“Dude, late night?” Curt asked.

Luke couldn’t help, but nod. Curt had known him for a long time, it was only fitting that he noticed his reaction. He had always hid his face when he was exhausted.

“Got caught up watching this weird ass show,” Luke said, lifting his head up. He then started to turn the lock on his locker, opening.

“What kind of show?” Jacob asked.

“My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic,” Luke spat out without realizing it. He blamed it on exhaustion, but there was nothing he could do to take it back. He took a quick glance at his friends, whose mouths were hung wide open.

A moment later, Jacob asked a question. “What was that first part, again?”

There was no use hiding it, his friends had heard what he said. “My Little Pony.”

There was stillness in the air around them as the words sunk into the ears of Jacob and Curt. After a second, the pair started to laugh. The halls echoed with their cackles as they desperately attempted to control themselves.

“Good one, dude,” Curt spoke through his laughter.

“Yeah! You really had us going!” Jacob explained.

Luke glared at the two. “No, I really watched it. And it was actually good.”

The two stopped for a moment. The world around them continued on without as much as a single sound. Then finally, the two broke the silence with their uncontrollable cackles. The two looked like hyenas on laughing gas.

“Dude, you’ve got to stop doing that!” Curt stated.

“Yeah! You’re going to kill me!”

“No! The show is actually pretty good!” Luke shouted.

Curt and Jacob stopped their laughter and gave Luke a blank stare. “Wait, are you serious?” Curt asked with a touch of concern and friendship in his voice.

“Yes, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was actually pretty decent.”

Moments passed slowly. It seemed like hours since the words had taken into air, flew across the empty spaces of the school hallway and into the ears of Jacob and Curt. They all stood in silence as the words finally plant themselves into the minds of the two young men.

Then all hell broke loose, as the two boys started howling in laughter.

“Fag!” Curt shouted, pointing his finger at Luke.

Luke scowled at his two friends. “What the hell, guys?!”

Jacob then put his hand on Curt’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, dude. We shouldn’t have called you a fag.” Jacob’s laughter had died out, but he was still smiling a cruel smile. “The correct term would be faggot!”

This caused them both to start laughing out into the school hallways again. They even high fived each other, just to spite Luke.

“Fuck you guys! It’s actually a good show!” Luke shouted.

Curt stopped laughing long enough to speak. “I’m sorry, dude. But anything that involves My Little Pony can’t be good.”

“Oh, yeah. Watch one episode and tell me I’m wrong!” Luke snapped.

Jacob and Curt just looked at each other with a baffled look.  “Watch My Little Pony?” Jacob scoffed.

“I don’t think so,” Curt stated.

Luke gave a cruel smirk. “What’s the matter, pussy? You afraid you might like it?”

Curt painted an expression of disgust on his face. “No, I’m not afraid.”

Luke looked at him stern in the eyes. “Then you come over to my house after school and I’ll show you how good it is.”

“Fine!” Curt put his finger on Luke’s chest. “But when the show sucks, you are going to apologize to me for wasting my time!”

Jacob nodded in agreement.

“Just be there!” Luke snapped as he stormed off, silently imagining the look on their faces when they see how good the show really is.

The school day ended all too slowly for Luke. The day seemed to drag on endlessly as he waited for it to end. His mind couldn’t stop thinking about the show and how his friends had reacted. He thought about how even he judged the show before he watched it and yet was impressed. He couldn’t wait to prove Jacob and Curt wrong, just to rub it in their faces.

Finally after seven hours off non-stop lecturing, with only a 25-minute break for lunch, it was all over.

Luke quickly hoped in his car and drove home. When he arrived through the door and greeted his mother.

“How was school, dearie?”

“It was fine, mom,” Luke replied. “Jacob and Curt are coming over and we’re going to watch T.V in my room.”

“Well, don’t watch anything your father and I wouldn’t approve of,” his mother called to him as he climbed the stairs to his room.

Those words had never stopped him before. He would always watch things he wasn’t supposed to. He never got caught. At least, not yet anyway. He had hoped to keep it that way.

He entered his room and began to hook up his computer to his T.V. He didn’t use it in gaming because it was hard to perform at his desk and look at the screen, since the desk was facing to the wall rather than the T.V. He had thought about moving it once or twice, but he just kept putting it off, vowing to return to it later. But later would never come.

A few minutes later, Jacob and Curt finally arrived in his room.

Luke gave a grin as they entered his room. “And here I thought you guys were going to wuss out?

“Let’s just get this over with,” Jacob moaned as he slouched down on the floor in front of the T.V.

Curt made his way on the computer desk chair and sat in it. He gave a glare towards Luke. “I hope you’ve got an apology speech ready.”

Luke shook his head. “Just fucking watch it. I’ve picked a good one.” He moved over to his mouse and clicked the play button on the YouTube video.

Within a second, an image of a yellow Pegasus with a long flowing pink mane appeared before them. She was feeding the animals all around her. Giving the otters their fish, the birds their worms (after which she spat out the disgusting taste), and finally her pet rabbit a carrot.

“Not too fast now, Angel Bunny. You don’t want to get a tummy ache.”

Luke smiled as the episode went on. “This episode will do it.”

After 20 minutes of the characters dealing with a sleeping dragon, the two friends were speechless. The video ended with the credits rolling.

Luke gave a satisfying smirk to his friends. “Well, what did you think?” He took note of his friends’ reaction the whole time. Curt was leaned back in his chair, his hand on his chin, his eyes scowling at the bright pictures before him.

Jacob was leaning forward, his eyes narrowed and yet somehow, Luke knew he was absorbing every single detail. Whether to ridicule it or not, was still unclear.

“What the fuck was that?” Curt asked.

Luke raised his eyebrow. “What do you mean ‘what the fuck was that’?”

Curt stood up quickly, his eyes blinded by rage. “This is what you are wasting your time on?! A fucking girly show?!”

“Dude, you got to admit some of it was good.”

“Dude, that was the biggest fucking waste of time I have ever had and you owe me an apology!” Curt shouted.

“I don’t owe you anything! You couldn’t have left the room anytime you wanted!”

“Well good! Because I’m leaving right now!” Curt stormed out of Luke’s room and slammed the door on his way out. A few moments later, he would hear Curt slam on the front door.

Luke turned back to Jacob, who was sitting on the floor, looking at the blank screen in front of him, almost as if he was in a trance. Luke admitted to himself it was a little freaky.

“Jacob?” He called, but his friend just sat there, mesmerized.

Luke finally came to Jacob’s side and shook him. “Jacob!”

Jacob finally came back to reality with a startled jolt. “What? What?”

“Well, what did you think?” Luke asked.

Jacob just looked at him with his eyebrow raised. “What?”

“What did you think of the show?”

Jacob started to stammer his words as if he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. “I … um… Sorry. Gotta go. Gotta go do… stuff.” He got up and started to wander out to the hallway, closing the door behind him.

Luke simply shook his head in irritation. Suddenly, Jacob opened the door to his room and poked his head in. “Can your mom give me a ride home? I came here with Curt.”

School came the next day, but there was no sign of Jacob anywhere. Luke couldn’t help but wonder what had become of him. Perhaps he was sick. Perhaps there was a doctor’s appointment he was not aware of. It was probably nothing though.

All through the school day, Curt and he hardly talked. They exchanged pleasantries, but that was the extent of their conversation. Luke couldn’t be around Curt after they had butted heads yesterday, but he felt so stupid. Here he was, arguing with his best friend, over something as trivial as a T.V show.

Luke figured it was best to let Curt cool down before talking to him again.

As his mind figured out how to deal with Curt, his mind then thought back to Jacob. He had sure been acting strange since seeing the show. He wasn’t sure how to take his reaction. Maybe he hated it and didn’t want to hurt Luke’s feelings?

It would make sense. Jacob has always made personal sacrifices to be friends with Luke. Something Luke found annoying and pathetic.

Still, Jacob was a friend.

After school, Luke found himself at the front door of his friend Jacob’s house. He knocked on the door and, unsurprisingly, Jacob answered.

Jacob had a look of disappointment on his face, but quickly erased it and revealed a smile. “Hey, Luke.”

“Hey, Jacob,” Luke greeted. “Why weren’t you at school today?”

“Oh, I took a sick day.” Jacob then beckoned Luke into his house, shutting the door as he entered.

Luke turned to face Jacob. “Why did you take a sick day?”

Jacob opened his mouth to answer, but then the doorbell rang. He gestured Curt to wait a moment. When Jacob answered the door, Luke noticed it was a UPS man.

“Package for Mr. Worts.”

Jacob grabbed the large brown box from the UPS man rather abruptly. “It’s about time!” he snapped.

Both Luke and the UPS man leap back in shock at Jacob’s aggression.

“The receipt said that you would be here by 2:30. It is 2:35!”

The UPS man stammered for words. “Well… I um… I…”

“You call yourself the best in the business!” Jacob ranted. “Don’t make me laugh! I wouldn’t use your company to wipe my ass with! I’d rather use fucking FedEx!” He slammed the door in the man’s face.

He then revealed a gleeful smile as he embraced his package tightly against his body. “Now, to add you to my collection,” Jacob said as he eyed the package with a disturbing lust.

“Uh, collection?” Luke asked.

Jacob guided Luke up the stairs to his room and opened the door. “Yeah, my collection.”

Upon gazing into it, Luke noticed what collection Jacob was talking about. A My Little Pony Collection. Starting from the door all the way around the room, Luke took note of everything Jacob had. An entrance mat with Pinkie Pie staring at him. To his left, an entire shelf with nothing but pony figurines, all neatly placed together in row after row. There must have been easily 60 or 70 characters.

Just a bit further down, there were several large posters of My Little Pony characters. All of them hanging pompously over the bed.

As for the bed, the sheet, the covers, the blanket, the pillow, even the stuff animals, were all My Little Pony.

There were many more things that caught his eye, but Luke stopped counting how many items in this one room contained My Little Pony.

Luke hadn’t realized his mouth was hanging open and he wasn’t able to, not with everything that surrounded him. “Wow, you really liked that show, don’t you?”

Jacob gave him a look of disgust as if he had just been insulted. “Liked it?” He then stood proudly with his hand on his chest. “I loved that show!”

He placed the box on the bed and started to open it, like an excited child opening a Christmas present. As he pulled out the item, a large amount of packaging peanuts fell out of the box, but Jacob looked like he was too preoccupied to care.

The item was a large statuette of Princess Celestia. Jacob’s face lit up like a Christmas tree upon seeing it. “I know just where to put you.” He took her to the far side of the room and placed her on the shelf next to the window, which had statuettes of the main characters, only they were much smaller.

Luke couldn’t believe his eyes and yet, here it was. A large collection of My Little Pony stuff. “Dude, how long have you been watching this show?”

“About 24 hours,” Jacob replied.

“You bought all this?!” Pointing all around the room. “In 24 hours?”

“Next day shipping.”

“How much did all this cost you?”

Jacob took a second to think. “About 500 bucks.”

If Luke’s mouth wasn’t attached to his face, it would have surely dropped to the floor. “You spent 500 dollars on this stuff?!”

Jacob shook his head. “No, I spent 500 dollars on shipping for all this stuff.”

Luke shook his head in disbelief. “Where did you get the money for all this?!”

Jacob smiled. “College savings.”

“You blew all your college savings on this!” Luke snapped, but quickly drew back and rubbed his head, trying to keep his composure. “Look the point is, I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Oh, I’m fine.” Jacob then turned towards the Celestia sitting on the cabinet. “I’m very fine.” There was a disturbing lust in his voice that made Luke take a step back.

“Yeah, um…” Luke started to dig into his backpack. “I just came to drop off your homework.”

Jacob then took a leap of joy. “Oh, let me show you what I got at Wal-Mart last night!” He pulled out from his cabinet several notebooks. Not surprisingly, they all had My Little Pony characters on them.

Luke gave as genuine a smile as he could, but he might as well been Applejack for her inability to tell a lie. Fortunately, Jacob seemed too distracted to notice.

Jacob went to sleep that night with his plushy of Rarity, the white unicorn. Each episode of the series, he had a new favorite pony and tonight it was Rarity.

As sleep finally took a hold of him, something woke his from his slumber. The window to his room had opened with a startling gust of wind. He leaped onto his feet, holding the stuffed doll tightly against him. He scanned the room slowly and cautiously. However, as he scanned the room there was nothing there. He figured that it was just a large gust of wind and nothing more.

He placed his feet into his slippers, which were also My Little Pony and made his way to the window. He gave a quick look outside and didn’t notice anything strange. With that, he closed the window and proceeded back to bed.

As he drifted to dream, a soothing voice came to his ear. Despite that nobody should be in the room with him, he allowed the soft voice to dance in his mind.

The voice began to sing a soft song.

Come little children, I’ll take thee away

Into a land of enchantment

The melody itself drew Jacob’s eyes to open and stand out of his bed. He focused his gaze to the window and outside, just a few feet from him, a dark blue pony with wings and a horn on her head, sung her soft song.

Come little children, the time’s to play

Into my garden of shadows

Luna’s blue eyes met with Jacob and her body descended to his window side.

Jacob opened the window as if compelled by her lyrics.

Follow sweet children, I’ll show thee the way

Through all the pain and the sorrows

Luna revealed her hooves, holding them out for Jacob.

Jacob took them without hesitation. Within an instant, Luna lifted Jacob off the ground, but there was no sign of strain. It looked as if Jacob was as light as the air around them.

Weep not poor children, for life is this way

Murdering beauty and passion

Luna continued to drag Jacob into the night sky, singing her alluring song.

Minutes later, Jacob was taken to a large throne room, where at the top of the throne stood a tall white pony, with large white wings and a large white horn atop her head.

At that moment, the singing stopped and the spell upon Jacob was broken. However, he was no less captivated, for he knew where he was.

“I have brought him, dear sister,” Luna stated as she bowed her head.

“Thank you, Luna. You have done well,” the white pony replied.

With that Luna disappeared into the shadows, leaving Jacob with his host. Princess Celestia. “Step forward.”

Jacob’s face lit up like the sun that Celestia would raise every morning. “Oh my god! It’s Princess Celestia! Oh, my fucking god!” Jacob spouted like a crazed fanatic. He leaped up and down with a squeal as he bolted towards the throne of Celestia.

Celestia quickly held out her hoof. “Please! Not another step!”

Jacob quickly stopped in his tracks. It was so immediate, he almost toppled over.

“I understand that you are excited, but you must remain calm.”

Jacob sunk to his knees. “I’m sorry, but I’m such a huge fan of your show! And I think you’re so beautiful!”

Celestia started to blush, but quickly regained her composure. “While I am flattered, there are more important tasks to attend to.”

Jacob rose to his feet and took a few steps back, his ears ready to absorb every word that Celestia had to say.

“Do you wonder why you are here?” Celestia asked.

Jacob raised his eyebrow and shook his head.

“You are the chosen one.”

Jacob’s eyes started to widen as he heard those word. “Chosen one?”

“Long ago, there was a prophecy that foretold the coming of a very powerful and influential brony,” Celestia explained. “A brony who would convert his entire world into bronydom and convey love and tolerance to the realm.”

There was a slight pause as Celestia focused her gaze on Jacob. “You are that brony.”

A smile had reappeared on Jacob’s face. His smile was larger than it had ever been. “Me?”

Celestia nodded. “You must convert your world’s population into bronies. Only then will you be able to fulfill your destiny.”

Jacob found himself looking at the ground, as if he was lost in what Celestia was saying. As if what he was seeing, what was hearing couldn’t be real. And yet, he felt that it was.

“And to help motivate you, I will grant you a small taste of the rewards that awaits you.” Celestia’s horn started to glow as Jacob’s body began to tremble.

A strange light engulfed him and within an instant, Jacob was a boy no more. He looked where his hands should be and he only saw hooves. There was no doubt when happened in his mind. He turned towards the mirror to his left, and sure enough, he was a pony. Blue coat, black mane and a donkey’s head on his ass. He had become a pony. “Holy shit!” he said out loud.

“That’s right. You will be a pony and you shall share all the blessings of Equestria,” Celestia stated.

“Oh, fuck yeah!” Jacob shouted as he stomped his hooves in excitement.

“And your second reward I grant you,” Celestia then moved them both to a room beyond the throne room. Inside was a bed and a yellow pony with a long pink mane. “Fluttershy. She is yours for tonight.”

Jacob eyed her with desire. Each of her hooves were restrained in chains.

“Oops,” Fluttershy smiled innocently. “I seemed to have accidently chained myself to this bed.” She gently struggled against the chains, but it didn’t look like she wanted to be free. “I sure hope nopony takes advantage of this.”

Jacob’s eyes and mouth smiled as he approached her. And with that Celestia close the door behind him.