Haters Vs Bronies (A story without a clever title)

There were cheers of celebration in Curt’s home. The sounds of laughter and merry making were filled the air as Curt sat in his chair and enjoy a nice cold Coke.

One hater stood up on a table. “Three cheers for the hater who brought us together.” He lifted his Coke and shouted. “Let’s hear it for Curt!”

The traditional ‘Hip-Hip Hooray!’ reverberated throughout the basement as the haters joined together to applaud their leader.

Curt simply bowed his head and thanked his followers, though he couldn’t be heard over the sounds of praise.

He raised his voice a bit louder to be heard, “Thank you all, but I cannot accept all the praise.”

The group started to clamor down as Curt continued to speak. “We, haters, have struck a tremendous blow against the brony movement.”

The crowd began to cheer once more. “And this is only the beginning. We are one step closer to bring order out of chaos!” Curt declared.

Suddenly, a crashing sound of a window breaking was heard. The sound caused a silence that paralyzed everyone. Curt, finally free of the paralyzing shock, made a mad dash upstairs to his living room. Once there, he found glass shards on his living room floor. A rock with a piece of paper tied to it lay only inches away.

Curt looked out the broken window to see two teenage boys glaring at him through their car window.

Curt knew that they purposely waited for him. They wanted Curt to know who it was. Not that he didn’t already. After a moment, which consisted of one of the boys giving Curt the bird, they drove off. Curt picked up rock and rolled out the piece of paper, reading it carefully.

Down with the Haters!

Princess Celestia Lives!

Long Live Princess Celestia!

Curt crumbled up the paper with a frustrated grunt and tossed it to the side. He stomped his way downstairs and made his way back to his room.

The haters all stood in the room, still awestruck at what had happened.

“What happened?” one of the haters asked, as Curt entered the room.

“The bronies,” Curt said as he sat down in his chair. He placed his hand on his chin as if to contemplate his next move. “They are not the pussies I took them for.”

The haters looked at each other with confusion. One hater stepped towards him. “So, what do we do?”

Curt was silent for a moment, but then after what seemed like minutes, he finally spoke. “I was too nice.”

The haters began whisper to each other their minds tried to conjure the meaning of Curt’s words.

Curt stood up. “I took out their leader, yes. But that has only made their resolve stronger.” Curt made his way to the edge of the room, where his podium was stationed. “We have been too soft on the brony movement! It’s time we take them out!”

The group continued to murmur amongst each other as if to consider Curt’s latest course. One hater stepped forward. “Isn’t that a little harsh?”

Another hater stepped forward. “Yeah, I mean, it’s not like it’s completely their fault. Some of those ponies are kind of cute.”

Curt’s jaw dropped as the hater’s word reached his ears. “What did you say?” Curt growled.

The hater looked around and noticed that all eyes were suddenly on him. “What?” he shrugged. “All I said was that I thought some of the ponies looked kind of adorable.”

The sounds of gasps shook the entire room. Curt took several violent steps towards the hater. “How dare you say that word in my house?! Who the fuck do you think you are?!”

The hater drew back in fear as Curt pressed forward. “What word? Ponies? Cute? What?”

“He said it again!” one of the haters exclaimed.

“We’re losing him!” another cried out before unleashing a scream in terror.

Curt shoved the hater to the ground. “How dare you use such language in my home?! No guy is supposed to use that word! No guy who believes in the cause can use that word!”

The hater shook his head. “But I do believe in the cause. I hate bronies as much as anyone!”

Curt got right in the hater’s face. “Only two types of people in the world use the forbidden words. Girls and fags. Are you a fag?”

There was a slight pause as the hater gave Curt a confused stare. “No. I’m not a fag!”

Curt raised his eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “Really? Because only gay people use those words. And you’ve used them three times in a day.” Curt turned his back on the hater. “Clearly, you are a fag.”

The hater’s gazed slowly sunk to the ground. “I… I didn’t know.” There was a silence in the room, until finally the hater broke the silence once more. “I didn’t know that, saying words like … the forbidden ones, meant that you were gay.” He shook his head. “I didn’t know.”

“Ignorance is bliss,” Curt stated as he made his way back to the podium. He heaved a heavy sigh as he turned towards the hater. “From now on, you are hereby banished from the hater group.”

The hater took a step forward. “Wait, I’m not gay! I like women! Give me another chance!”

Curt shook his head. “Sorry, but I can’t allow fags in my organization. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

With a heavy heart, the hater turned around and made his way out the door, never to return.

Jacob’s computer screen flashed on as he placed the headset on his head. He positioned his mic so that his voice would be read clearly. He spoke into it, hearing the playback from his headphones to ensure they would hear him.

He angled his webcam to his face to ensure that it would remain focused on him at all times.

In the hours after the hater’s attack, Jacob had worked non-stop to rally his people together and to raise their spirits. It had taken him all day, but now was the time. He clicked his webcam on and spoke.

“My brony brothers and sisters, I am Jacob Worts, your leader. Earlier today, a terrorist group known as the Hater Alliance attacked and publicly murdered our princess. They had hoped to divide us by dealing us a grieving blow. However, this attack has only made our resolve stronger. The Hater Alliance will soon discover that the brony movement cannot be stopped.”

“This is an invitation to all bronies to join our cause against the Hater Alliance and to allow others to join the bronies and see the light. A perfect world is on the horizon and we bronies shall be the ones who dominate it. Love and tolerance shall spread to the four corners of the world and peace shall reign supreme, but only if we eliminate all those who would stand in our way.”

“And for those of you watching this, who believe that we can be overcome, let me give you a small demonstration of our power.”

Jacob clicked on a button and allowed a song to be played from the show, where the pink pony known as Pinkie Pie got the whole town to smile.

After the song, Jacob clicked another button to have the camera focus on him.

“As you can very well see, our weapons are far beyond what your petty minds could comprehend. Consider this a warning to all those who have not yet turned towards the light of Celestia. Those who are worthy enough shall join our ranks shall receive the blessings of Equestria. Those of you who are not, may Celestia have mercy on your souls.”

Jacob then turned off his webcam. His eyes then diverted to the followers counter on the left side of the screen. Almost within an instant, the number had stated one. A instant later, two. Another instant, four. Eight. 14. 58. 104. The number kept rising and rising, faster and faster. As Jacob looked upon the number of bronies joining his cause, he gave a cruel smile.

“My army gathers.”

Luke awoke the next day with a bright smile on his face. It was Saturday. No school. And no bronies or haters. Just him and whatever he wanted to do. “A little college football is just the escape I need.”

He jumped out of bed, ran downstairs and prepared his breakfast cereal. He went back into his room and turned on his T.V, allowing the morning news to run before changing to his football game. It would have been better for him to sleep an extra twenty minutes, because when the news’s subject started to play, he shook his head in irritation.

“This is CBB news and here is your host, Imma Weiner,” a voice from the T.V announced.

A woman appeared from the shadows, sitting down at her news desk.

“Good Morning, everyone. And welcome to CBB. Today’s top story, a new movement has taken the world by storm. A movement called the Bronies, adult fans of the show My Little Pony, who are no doubt gay for watching a show made for eight year old girls.”

“A new poll says that the movement now consists of 80 million members and growing with each passing day, thanks to a threat promoted by a terrorist by the name of Jacob Worts from the small town of Cedarville, Utah.”

The news room plays a video with the brony leader announcing his name and motive to the world.

Luke rubbed his head and growled under his breath. “God dammit.”

The video ends and cuts back to Imma.

“The video goes on to promote violence to those who do not convert to the brony cause. Since its posting, the country of Wofogickleburg has expressed its support for the brony movement, converting all its resources to ponies. We go to Wofogickleburg, live with Seymour Butz. Seymour, what is it like being in a country full of faggots?”

The news room cuts to a male news caster surrounded by hundreds of angry bronies, holding up signs that support the brony movement.

“Well actually, Imma, that’s a common misconception. Not all bronies are gay. Most of them are straight. I, myself, am straight.”

Imma’s voice then came over his head set. “But you watch a show for little girls, don’t you?”

“Well, yes. However, the show’s quality proves that a show for little girls can appeal to more mature audiences.”

“So, you admit to being a faggot?”

“I am not a faggot, you stupid bitch!” Seymour shouted. “And the brony movement cannot be stopped! The brony movement will prevail! You will all be converted or you will all burn in hell! Back to you, Imma.”

The news room cuts back to Imma.

“Well, it seems that the brony movement is pretty much unstoppable. Is there anyone out there who can stop these queers? Imma Weiner, CBB news.”

Luke stormed his way into the house of Curt Anderson.

“God dammit, can I please just go one day without having to deal with his bullshit?” Luke thought to himself as he made his way downstairs to Curt’s room.

He opened the door to see Curt on his computer. Curt slowly turned to Luke with a smile. “Ah, Luke. I take it you saw the news. Bronies are beginning to gather. We can wipe them out in one fell swoop.”

“Curt, don’t retaliate,” Luke demanded. “You are only going to provoke him. Be the bigger man.”

Curt rose from his seat. “Oh, Luke, you should know any man is a bigger man than a brony.”

“I admit Jacob overacted to what you did yesterday, but what you guys did was pretty damn stupid and rude.”

Curt made his way to Luke and placed his hand on his shoulder. “Luke, we can’t be worried about their feelings when we are fighting for order.”

Luke glared at Curt. “Fighting for order? That’s the same thing Jacob is fighting for! What kind of messed up version of order are you promoting?!”

“The way the world should have been. Should always be.” Curt made his way towards his computer, leaning over it the desk.  “Bronies are just the beginning. Soon the world will be free from all the cancers that plague it. Women video gamers. Women football fans. Stay at home dads.”

With each person Curt stated, Luke grew more appalled. “You shallow bastard.”

Curt turned toward Luke. “Luke, you don’t understand. The world has a certain order. Men like football, women like ballet. Men like wrestling, women like ponies. Men like violence, women like flowers! That’s the way the world works!”

Luke pointed his finger to Curt, violently. “That is an outdated notion, you bigot! The world is changes! That’s what it does!”

Curt shoved Luke’s arm away from him. “And that’s why someone has to put a stop to it! Bronies are just the first! By tomorrow, the hater army will be ready and the world will be back to the way it was!”

“Does your followers know about this?! Do they know what your real plan is?

Curt smiled. “Not yet. But they will. And when they do they will see what I’m doing is right.”

“I’m warning you, Curt, don’t do this!”

Curt then made his way to his computer and clicked a button. “It’s already done.”

A video then began to play soft music with an announcer in the background. “Our world is a perfect and wondrous place.” The video began to show scenes of flowers and butterflies. “Within it lies beauty and enchantment.”

The bright blue skies then begin to shift into a dark red. “But there are people in this world that want to take all that away from us.” A woman screams as shadowy figures come over her. “Bronies!”

A group of bronies stand with devil-like smiles on their faces. “Male fans who watch My Little Pony. They are a cult dedicated to their pony goddess. And will stop it nothing to destroy the world!”

The images then flash to a city in a fiery inferno. “But there is hope.” A flash of light brings the shot to a group with shotguns at their shoulders. “One group will take a stand against the bronies.”

The group pulls out their shotguns and blows the heads off of the bronies. “The haters are dedicated to exterminating all bronies, like the vermin they are. If you have what it takes to be a hater, then join our cause, or be lost to the bronies.”

An image of Curt appears on the video. “I am Curt Anderson and I approve this message.”

The real Curt shut off the computer and gave a sinister smile. “They will show this on the evening news. At that point I will rally my troops.”

He took a step forward. “This is a good day for the world, Luke. A good day.”

Luke shook his head and stomped out of the house, knowing that was nothing else he could do.

Luke spent the whole day watching the college games, but was unable to concentrate on them. The whole situation between bronies and haters was out of control. Every time he thought about he fell deeper into despair. He blamed himself for showing Curt and Jacob the show and blamed himself for everything that had happened so far.

“If I had just kept this show to myself, this wouldn’t have happened,” Luke thought to himself. He continued to watch the games all day, but his thoughts kept wondering towards the war that was happening right in his backyard.

After a long day, he made his way to his room and turned on his computer. With nothing else to do, he decided to watch of few more episodes of My Little Pony before dinner. As he watched it, the thoughts of the war came into his head as well. The light colors and upbeat feel of the show did little to distract him.

A voice called to him from downstairs. “Luke, it’s time for dinner, honey.”

“I’ll be down in a minute, mom,” Luke replied. He was too focused on the episode in front of him. The episode was about the three races of ponies not being able to get along, proclaiming a new land for themselves.

Luke continued to watch the episode until his mother had finally come into the room.

“Luke, your father is waiting for-“ Her speech was interrupted by what she saw on Luke’s computer screen. “Oh, my god! Luke, what are you watching?!”

The fright and shock in his mother’s voice caused Luke to snap around to her quickly. “Mom, relax it’s just-“

“Larry! Larry! Come quickly!” his mother called.

Like lightning, Larry, Luke’s father, sprinted up the stairs to Luke’s room. “Honey, what the matter?” As soon as his eyes entered the room, his gaze went straight to the computer screen. “Jesus Christ!” The shock and alarm turned into rage. “Son, what do you think you are watching?!”

“Dad, it’s just My Little Pony,” Luke tried to explain.

Luke’s father pointed down the hallway. “Go downstairs, right now!”

“But dad-“ Luke started to plea, but his father would not hear of it.

“Go downstairs, right now! I’ll be down in a minute!”

Luke reluctantly did as he was told and slunk his way downstairs. The wait for his parents was unbearable. He felt as if they would never come down. After five minutes of waiting his parents finally arrived.

“Son, you’ve been watching that show for a while, haven’t you?” Larry asked.

“Dad, it’s actually pretty good,” Luke stated.

“Actually pretty good?! Oh, god, I’ve failed as a father.” Larry turned away.

Luke shook his head. “I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s just a T.V show.”

Luke’s mother took a step forward. “Honey, we love you, but that show is bad for you.”

Luke raised his eyebrow. “How? How is it bad for me?”

“Honey, it turns you into a…” his mother paused, biting her lip “gay faggot. We just want you to be safe.”

“Mom, that’s not how it works,” Luke attempted to explain.

The father turned around sharply. “You do not talk to your mother that way, young man!”

“I was just-,” Luke was cut off once again by his father.

“No! I am not raising a girly faggot!” His father ranted. “Here’s what’s going to happen: You are going to go upstairs and you are going to watch something violent. Something vulgar and graphic. Maybe even something with porn in it like normal teenage boys.”

His father then took a step towards him. “But if I ever catch you watching My Little Pony again, you are grounded for the rest of your life.”

Luke lowered, his eyes glaring at the ground.

“Now, go to your room and do what I told you.”

Luke stood up from the sofa and marched to his room, murmuring under his breath. “God dammit.”

He could hear his father heaving a heavy sigh, stating that that was the hardest thing he had ever had to do.

“This is Between the Issues!” a voice announced. “The show about arguing over mostly pointless debates! Politics, Pop Culture, Religion! You name it, we argue about it! And here’s your host, Tom Smith.”

“Good evening, everyone,” a man appeared from behind a curtain. “I’m Tom Smith.”

The audience greeted him with a thunderous cheer. He bowed his head and spoke, calming the audience down. “Welcome to another addition of Between the Issues. Tonight, two sides in an ever growing war. Bronies and now the new Haters group are threatening to declare war on each other.”

Tom gestured towards his right. “Joining us will be Dr. Hugankis from the University of Denver who will represent the brony community.” A woman appeared from the right side of the stage and took her seat.

Tom then gestured to his left. “And Professor Rotch from Harvard University to represent the hater community.” A man then appeared from the left to sit in his seat straight across from Dr. Hugankis.

Tom finally took his seat in between the two and smiled. “Well, we’ve got a great show for your tonight and we’ll just jump right into it. Welcome to both Dr. Hugankis and Professor Rotch.”

The two bowed their heads and thanked their host.

Tom then turned to Professor Rotch. “So, Professor, you are an expert in the haters, yes?”

The professor nodded his head.

“Is it true that the country of Werberstain has shown support of the hater’s community?”

The professor nodded again. “It is true. The country has seen the footage, made by Curt Anderson from Cedarville, Utah, and they are in full support of ridding the world of bronies.”

Tom then turned towards Dr. Hugankis. “And the neighboring country of Wofogickleburg is in support of the bronies, are they not?”

The doctor nodded. “Yes, they are.”

“I imagine tensions between the two countries are pretty rocky, right now?”

The doctor nodded. “Yes, the Wofogickleburgians are furious at the Werberstainians. They believe that the only way to save the world is to either join the cause or die.”

The professor started to speak. “The bronies are trying to force their beliefs onto other people. You can’t just force someone to like the same show you like.”

“Then all those who do not see the light will most likely die!” the doctor snapped.

“You can’t kill people simply because they don’t like something you like!” the professor retorted.

Dr. Hugankis pointed violently at her opponent. “You wanna make something of it, asshole?!”

The professor stood up and brought his arms out. “Bring it, bitch!”

Dr. Hugankis stood up quickly and tackled her opponent to the ground. Fist after fist flew at one another as Tom sat silently in his chair.

Tom then smiled towards the audience. “Well, that sure didn’t take long, did it?” The audience then started to roar with laughter.

“I think it’s safe to assume that we can expect World War III tomorrow, as both the United States and Germany have made their anti-brony movement motives clear. While on the other side of the world, Russia and Japan are in full support of the bronies. Will we all live to see tomorrow? Tune in next time for Between the Issues!”

Luke sat at his computer, too angry to do anything else but sit at a digital bar. He clicked on his mouse to watch his avatar drink another bottle.

He tapped on his keyboard, spelling a message. Another

A moment later, the bartender sent him a message. Haven’t you already had too much, kid?

Luke tapped on his keyboard in frustration. Just get me another one, damn it!

A moment later, the bartender’s avatar placed a full bottle before Luke. Another click of the mouse and Luke’s avatar was chugging away. As the digital beer was consumed by his digital self, he couldn’t help but be consumed by everything that had happened today.

First, the bronies convert several countries, his parents find out he enjoys My Little Pony and forbid him to watch it, and now the world is going to go to war over a T.V show.

Luke had secretly wished he never clicked on that link to the first episode. He thought maybe all this could have been avoided.

As he sat he took note of another avatar coming up to the table. Fyre-Flye requested something hard and fast.

The bartender almost immediately placed a drink in front of her.

Luke was at first simply going to ignore her and ponder on his own thoughts, but then a private message came to his screen from Fyre-Flye.

Wanna talk about it? :)

Luke tapped on his keyboard, shaking his head.

Not going to do any good. The world’s going to hell anyways.

Luke was about to shut his computer off for the night when a message from Fyre-Flye stopped him.

Yeah, all this for a T.V show. Makes me sad. :(

Luke tapped on his keyboard once again.

The thing is it’s not a bad show. But the way both sides are going about is wrong!

Luke shook his head violently as he entered his message. He thought about how Jacob and Curt had taken their beliefs too far and how it was going to take the world with them.

Fyre-Flye’s message appeared.

So, how do you think we should stop them?

Luke’s mind started to work, but it wouldn’t work without help. He knew he would need a way to talk to the world. Like a blessing from God, Fyre-Flye’s message appeared.

What if I could help get your words out there?

Luke smiled as he continued to plan with Fyre-Flye the rest of the night.

The sun was slowly rising over the mountains as Jacob and Curt readied their forces, each of them taking a side of the town.

After their preparation, they began to march towards the center of the town. Their feet rumbling the earth like a small quake. Their voices of anger and rage roaring like thunder. As the two groups approached each other, the sounds became louder. People abandoned the street to make way for the two parties.

When Jacob finally caught eye of his opponents, he ordered his troops to halt. His notice Curt doing the same.

One of the bronies leaned into Jacob’s ear. “We just got word from Wofogickleburg. They are ready to attack as soon as we are. Japan and Russian won’t be far behind.”

Jacob rubbed his hands together and revealed a sinister smile. “Perfect.”

The two parties were locked into a state of silence, as if they were waiting for the other to make the first move. The silence was overwhelming. It was as if the entire world was holding its breath.

Just then a sound came over them.

“Hello. Could I have everyone’s attention please?”

They all turned to a nearby video store and saw Luke’s face on the T.V screen.

“I just want to say something before you all kill each other.”

One of the bronies had asked Jacob if they should ignore it, but Jacob felt that he should allow Luke his final words. It would do little to stop them.

“I know why you are all here. It is all because of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, a T.V show made for little girls. Yes. That was originally the intended audience, but the creators of the show attempted to make it enjoyable for children and the adults that watch it. So it was only natural that young adults would enjoy it as well.”

Some of the bronies began to nod to each other, while the haters started to laugh or boo.

“Some of you think this makes us gay. Some of you think this makes us less of manly.  And there are some of you who enjoy the show so much you think anyone who dislikes the show is evil.”

The bronies and haters began to whisper to their respective groups as I they were uncertain what to think.

“My question to all of you is … Why do you care?”

The two groups began to whisper to each other as those words echoed through the town, as every T.V and computer screen replayed the message.

“Why do you care? If someone watches a T.V show not originally created for them, why do you care? If someone doesn’t like the things you like, why do you care? If someone doesn’t agree with you on a matter, why do you care?”

Silence in the air as the transition ended. The two groups turned towards Luke as he appeared from one of the nearby alleyways. “Why do any of you care?”

A moment of silence passed as the words sunk into their brains. Finally, Luke’s father, one of the haters, stepped forward. “You know, he’s right.”

Curt turned to him with a shocked look on his face. “What?”

Luke’s father turned towards the haters. “We can’t stop these people from watching the show. We never will be able too. And even if we did, then what? They’d just find another show and another, until we learn that bronies are here in the world. And they aren’t going anywhere.”

A brony took a step forward. “And maybe, the haters aren’t such bad people after all.”

Jacob took a step forward. “How can you say that?! They are trying to destroy us!”

The brony turned towards his fellow bronies. “Look maybe, what we were doing is wrong? Maybe we shouldn’t be trying to convert people into bronies just because we love it. If someone doesn’t want to be a brony, they should have that right.”

Tyler stepped out of the brony crowd with a smile. “Ponies!”

Another hater stepped out of the crowd. “And maybe the show isn’t as bad as other shows on T.V right now.”

“Maybe we just don’t understand it.”

A brony stepped out of the crowd. “Guys, we are never going to get people to like the show unless they want to. We should be willing to accept that people won’t like the show.”

Luke’s father spoke once again. “The truth is, bronies and haters will never be able to get along. But…” he scratched the back of his head, as he if he didn’t know what to say. “Maybe if we each do our own thing…”

A brony finished for him. “We can hate each other a little less.”

Tyler smiled. “Ponies!”

Luke’s father smiled at the bronies. “Love and Tolerance.”

The brony smiled back. “Haters forever.”

Just then the T.V’s at the nearby T.V store flashed as a voiced announced breaking news. A man appeared on screen.

“Breaking news in the Brony-Hater War. The countries of Wofogickleburg and Werberstain have signed a temporary truce. After seeing the image of a young boy, giving the ‘Why do you care?’ speech, the two countries agreed to a treaty called the ‘Agree to Disagree’ agreement.”

Curt looked at the ground. His eyes narrowed as he gritted his teeth. “No.” Curt then raised his head to the haters. “No! Don’t you see? This is one of the bronies tricks!”

The haters could only glare at Curt as he ranted and raved.

Jacob turned to his followers. “My brothers, my sisters,” he pleaded. “We are so close to bringing the purity of Equestria here. Do not forsake me!”

Like the haters, the bronies could only gaze upon Jacob with disgust and disapproval. Even Tyler was able to frown upon him.

Curt turned towards Jacob. “This isn’t over, brony! This war will happen!”

Jacob turned to face Curt and smiled. “Bring it, asshole!”

Curt charged toward Jacob, tackling them both to the ground. Fist flew back and forth as they two continued to pummel the snot out of one another.

Luke’s father came to Luke’s side. “Are you going to stop them?” he asked.

Luke shook his head. “No, I’ve been waiting all week for this.” He smiled as he watched the two continued to fight it out.