Haters Vs Bronies (A story without a clever title)

by spideremblembrony

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Comedy
Length: 15241

Three Friends. One show. One showdown. Two Sides. Six Main Characters from the T.V show. And one Lauren Faust.

Three friends and the T.V show that will tear their friendship apart. Is friendship magic enough to put these friends back together?

This fan-fiction contains mature content. Including Strong Language and Adult Themes. Viewer Discretion is Advised. You have been warned.

My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro. Please Support the Official Release.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-24 18:36:18 UTC

The Show That Started It All

In the bedroom of the Luke Hobbs, his computer screen flickered in front of him as the tapped on his mouse. “Come on, you dumbass! Get out of there!” he shouted into his headset microphone.

On the screen in front of him were three figures dressed in strange costumes. One was a man in a full-body costume colored in red and blue with black web-designs all across the red parts of the man’s costume.

Another was a man in a yellow costume with three blade-like claws coming from each of his hands.

With the last being, a giant green behemoth that smashed everything around him.

Luke clicked on his red and blue clad hero, known as Spider-Man, and clicked a bar set of abilities at the bottom of the screen. “What does that fucking dumbass think he is doing?”

A voice came over the headset, “I don’t know, dude, but if that fucking noob makes us lose, I’m going to be pissed!”

The friend over the headset was no doubt his friend, Curt. He and Curt had been friends since the fourth grade. Now sophomores in high school, their friendship remained a strong one.

“Me, too,” Luke replied.

“Me, three,” another voice came on the line.

That voice belonged to Jacob, for sure. Jacob was another one of his friends. They had only been friends for a year, but they had a lot in common. Luke once thought it was because Jacob simply wanted to be one of the cool kids, but Jacob assured him it was not the case.

The trio was locked in an intense game of strategy, tactics, and mouse-clicking. It was the most popular superhero game out on the market, and was steadily growing. Marvel: Domination. A game where players could use their favorite Marvel heroes such as Spider-Man, Iron Man and Hulk and defeat other players using other characters in a battle ground for domination.

In this recent game, they were playing side-by-side with a player named ‘HotNakedNurse1333’, who was playing Iron Man.

Luke tapped on his keyboard, writing a message to the player. Dude, you keep getting killed because you tank so much! Let Wolve take the damage!

Luke couldn’t help but look at the score screen. The score screen revealed how many KO’s and KO’d each hero had. He was in last place as far as KO’s, but his KO’d score was pretty low. HotNakedNurse easily had the most KO’d. As his eyes wandered back to the text bar in the corner, a message came from Iron Man’s player.

Fuck you! Iron Man is the fucking shit!

Luke typed in his response as he shook his head in frustration. This player had been pissing him off the whole game. He would run in without help against much more experienced players, he wouldn’t communicate with the team and he would constantly insult the others for his failures. He hated players like that and there were many of them.

At dealing damage, you asshole! Not taking it!

As he looked down, he saw the name ‘Sexyplayaa’, aka, Curt’s username, appear with a text bar.

God, are you THAT stupid?! When we tell you to fucking pull back, pull back!

Luke grunted in frustration as the Iron Man character was KO’d, once again. “This is going to be a long ass game,” he spoke into the headset. Even though he couldn’t see his friends’ faces, he knew they were in full agreement.

After several minutes, which seemed to be even longer due to Iron Man’s complete pwnage, the game finally ended in their victory.

“Holy shit, dude,” Luke heaved as he leaned back in his chair, rubbing his head in irritation.

“Dude, that was a long ass game,” he heard Jacob’s voice through the headset.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m blocking that loser,” Curt said.

Luke nodded in agreement, despite the fact that neither of his friends could see him. With a click of his mouse on the exclamation point icon, he would be forever blocked from HotNakedNurse. He scrolled down to his list of blocked players, which was far more extensive than he thought. There must have been 40, or so, players.

“Dude, I fucking kicked ass that game,” Curt stated. Luke eyed the seventeen KO’s that Curt’s character, Wolverine had completed.

“That’s because you stole half my kills, asshole!” Jacob whined. Despite the fact that they knew it was KO’s, they always called it kills or deaths for some reason. It just seemed to roll off the tongue better than KO’s or KO’d.

“Can I help it if Wolverine’s claws cause bleeding?” Curt replied.

Luke finally intervened. “Okay, you guys, I’m probably going to call it a night.”

“Yeah,” Jacob said. “I’d better call it too. My dad’s on my case again. School night and all that.”

“Well, if you guys need me, I’ll be owning it up with Wolverine it,” Curt said as Luke received a message on his computer stating that BatmankillsSuperman334, aka Jacob, disconnected from the chat room.

“Don’t you play any other character besides Wolverine?” Luke asked.

“No, why?”

“Because he’s fucking broken!” Luke shouted. “He deals way too much damage, can tank, has a healing factor and causes bleed.”

“Well, at least I don’t play pussies like Spider-Man.”

“Spider-Man is not a pussy!”

“The fuck is isn’t. He deals almost no-“

Curt’s rant was cut short by Luke disconnecting the chat room. Luke and Curt would always get into senseless fights like that. They would usually make up by tomorrow, but right now he was pretty upset.

Luke clicked out of the game and clicked on the internet icon. “Maybe some stupid videos will cheer me up.”

As he pulled up YouTube, he began watching stupid little videos, most of which involved cats, politicians and viral video reviews. He knew there was no reason to watch them, other than the fact that some of them were pretty damn funny.

One such video involved a woman drinking a glass of water, but her pet cat would constantly grab it from her hands and drink it as a person would. Another video involved a kitting attempt to run up a slide for at least 30 seconds.

As the night went on, more and more videos caught his eye. As he clicked into the suggestion box once more to find another video to watch, he saw something that stood out above all others. It was a brightly color pink horse with a cheery grin on her face.

“What the hell?” he thought to himself as he eyed the image. His curiosity peaked a bit. How could a pony be on his suggestion list? He looked at the title of the video reading ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’. He started to recall the My Little Pony franchise from earlier in his life.

“Isn’t that a show for little girls? Why the hell would it be on my recommendations?"

Luke desperately tried to ignore it with another video, but as he tried even more of the strange horse appeared in the suggestion box. This time, appearing with other color horses. His curiosity grew. His could wrap his head around why a group of brightly colored horses would appeal to so many. Finally, his curiosity got the better of him. He moved his mouse over to the first video and clicked the link.

A soft melody started to play as a voice came over his headphones.

“Once upon a time in the magical land of Equestria”

Luke continued to watch the screen, silently thinking to himself, “Oh, boy. This is going to be lame.”

The night pressed on as video link after video link was clicked. He had just finished watch an episode where the blue Pegasus, known as Rainbow Dash, had just completed the stunt called the Sonic Rain boom, a powerful sonic boom that also somehow broke the light spectrum.

As the episodes went, he caught himself leaning forward in his chair, as if he was interested in what the ponies were doing.

As the ending credits rolled, he looked at the time on his computer. It stated 5:45. He had to be at school in a few hours and he had been watching the show for at least eight. He couldn’t believe what his eyes were telling him. He had been watching this show about magical horses for eight hours straight. As he picked himself up off the chair, a thought forced him to sit back down.

“One more episode wouldn’t hurt.”

The morning came very quickly for Luke as he finished what he could of the show’s first season. He dragged himself into the restroom, brush his teeth and hair. He woozily made his way back to his room and dressed himself for school.

He mind could still hardly believe what he had done. He had watched a show that was normally for little girls, yet found himself enjoying it. The animation was pretty solid, the music was good and the voice acting was top notch. And yet, it was a show about ponies. A show for little girls.

He started to think to himself. What would Jacob and Curt think of me watching this show? What would they think about watching the show? He asked himself these questions as he jumped in his car and made his way to school.

He made his way to his locker as the bell for school to begin had yet to ring. He constantly rubbed his eyes, desperately trying to rid himself of his exhaustion, but to no such avail.

“Hey, Luke,” a voice from down the hall called to him. He looked over to see Curt and Jacob heading his way.

“Oh, hey, you guys,” he replied as he rested his head against the locker door, trying to hide his face. He was certain his red and puffy eyes would give his restless night away.

“Dude, late night?” Curt asked.

Luke couldn’t help, but nod. Curt had known him for a long time, it was only fitting that he noticed his reaction. He had always hid his face when he was exhausted.

“Got caught up watching this weird ass show,” Luke said, lifting his head up. He then started to turn the lock on his locker, opening.

“What kind of show?” Jacob asked.

“My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic,” Luke spat out without realizing it. He blamed it on exhaustion, but there was nothing he could do to take it back. He took a quick glance at his friends, whose mouths were hung wide open.

A moment later, Jacob asked a question. “What was that first part, again?”

There was no use hiding it, his friends had heard what he said. “My Little Pony.”

There was stillness in the air around them as the words sunk into the ears of Jacob and Curt. After a second, the pair started to laugh. The halls echoed with their cackles as they desperately attempted to control themselves.

“Good one, dude,” Curt spoke through his laughter.

“Yeah! You really had us going!” Jacob explained.

Luke glared at the two. “No, I really watched it. And it was actually good.”

The two stopped for a moment. The world around them continued on without as much as a single sound. Then finally, the two broke the silence with their uncontrollable cackles. The two looked like hyenas on laughing gas.

“Dude, you’ve got to stop doing that!” Curt stated.

“Yeah! You’re going to kill me!”

“No! The show is actually pretty good!” Luke shouted.

Curt and Jacob stopped their laughter and gave Luke a blank stare. “Wait, are you serious?” Curt asked with a touch of concern and friendship in his voice.

“Yes, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was actually pretty decent.”

Moments passed slowly. It seemed like hours since the words had taken into air, flew across the empty spaces of the school hallway and into the ears of Jacob and Curt. They all stood in silence as the words finally plant themselves into the minds of the two young men.

Then all hell broke loose, as the two boys started howling in laughter.

“Fag!” Curt shouted, pointing his finger at Luke.

Luke scowled at his two friends. “What the hell, guys?!”

Jacob then put his hand on Curt’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, dude. We shouldn’t have called you a fag.” Jacob’s laughter had died out, but he was still smiling a cruel smile. “The correct term would be faggot!”

This caused them both to start laughing out into the school hallways again. They even high fived each other, just to spite Luke.

“Fuck you guys! It’s actually a good show!” Luke shouted.

Curt stopped laughing long enough to speak. “I’m sorry, dude. But anything that involves My Little Pony can’t be good.”

“Oh, yeah. Watch one episode and tell me I’m wrong!” Luke snapped.

Jacob and Curt just looked at each other with a baffled look.  “Watch My Little Pony?” Jacob scoffed.

“I don’t think so,” Curt stated.

Luke gave a cruel smirk. “What’s the matter, pussy? You afraid you might like it?”

Curt painted an expression of disgust on his face. “No, I’m not afraid.”

Luke looked at him stern in the eyes. “Then you come over to my house after school and I’ll show you how good it is.”

“Fine!” Curt put his finger on Luke’s chest. “But when the show sucks, you are going to apologize to me for wasting my time!”

Jacob nodded in agreement.

“Just be there!” Luke snapped as he stormed off, silently imagining the look on their faces when they see how good the show really is.

The school day ended all too slowly for Luke. The day seemed to drag on endlessly as he waited for it to end. His mind couldn’t stop thinking about the show and how his friends had reacted. He thought about how even he judged the show before he watched it and yet was impressed. He couldn’t wait to prove Jacob and Curt wrong, just to rub it in their faces.

Finally after seven hours off non-stop lecturing, with only a 25-minute break for lunch, it was all over.

Luke quickly hoped in his car and drove home. When he arrived through the door and greeted his mother.

“How was school, dearie?”

“It was fine, mom,” Luke replied. “Jacob and Curt are coming over and we’re going to watch T.V in my room.”

“Well, don’t watch anything your father and I wouldn’t approve of,” his mother called to him as he climbed the stairs to his room.

Those words had never stopped him before. He would always watch things he wasn’t supposed to. He never got caught. At least, not yet anyway. He had hoped to keep it that way.

He entered his room and began to hook up his computer to his T.V. He didn’t use it in gaming because it was hard to perform at his desk and look at the screen, since the desk was facing to the wall rather than the T.V. He had thought about moving it once or twice, but he just kept putting it off, vowing to return to it later. But later would never come.

A few minutes later, Jacob and Curt finally arrived in his room.

Luke gave a grin as they entered his room. “And here I thought you guys were going to wuss out?

“Let’s just get this over with,” Jacob moaned as he slouched down on the floor in front of the T.V.

Curt made his way on the computer desk chair and sat in it. He gave a glare towards Luke. “I hope you’ve got an apology speech ready.”

Luke shook his head. “Just fucking watch it. I’ve picked a good one.” He moved over to his mouse and clicked the play button on the YouTube video.

Within a second, an image of a yellow Pegasus with a long flowing pink mane appeared before them. She was feeding the animals all around her. Giving the otters their fish, the birds their worms (after which she spat out the disgusting taste), and finally her pet rabbit a carrot.

“Not too fast now, Angel Bunny. You don’t want to get a tummy ache.”

Luke smiled as the episode went on. “This episode will do it.”

After 20 minutes of the characters dealing with a sleeping dragon, the two friends were speechless. The video ended with the credits rolling.

Luke gave a satisfying smirk to his friends. “Well, what did you think?” He took note of his friends’ reaction the whole time. Curt was leaned back in his chair, his hand on his chin, his eyes scowling at the bright pictures before him.

Jacob was leaning forward, his eyes narrowed and yet somehow, Luke knew he was absorbing every single detail. Whether to ridicule it or not, was still unclear.

“What the fuck was that?” Curt asked.

Luke raised his eyebrow. “What do you mean ‘what the fuck was that’?”

Curt stood up quickly, his eyes blinded by rage. “This is what you are wasting your time on?! A fucking girly show?!”

“Dude, you got to admit some of it was good.”

“Dude, that was the biggest fucking waste of time I have ever had and you owe me an apology!” Curt shouted.

“I don’t owe you anything! You couldn’t have left the room anytime you wanted!”

“Well good! Because I’m leaving right now!” Curt stormed out of Luke’s room and slammed the door on his way out. A few moments later, he would hear Curt slam on the front door.

Luke turned back to Jacob, who was sitting on the floor, looking at the blank screen in front of him, almost as if he was in a trance. Luke admitted to himself it was a little freaky.

“Jacob?” He called, but his friend just sat there, mesmerized.

Luke finally came to Jacob’s side and shook him. “Jacob!”

Jacob finally came back to reality with a startled jolt. “What? What?”

“Well, what did you think?” Luke asked.

Jacob just looked at him with his eyebrow raised. “What?”

“What did you think of the show?”

Jacob started to stammer his words as if he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. “I … um… Sorry. Gotta go. Gotta go do… stuff.” He got up and started to wander out to the hallway, closing the door behind him.

Luke simply shook his head in irritation. Suddenly, Jacob opened the door to his room and poked his head in. “Can your mom give me a ride home? I came here with Curt.”

School came the next day, but there was no sign of Jacob anywhere. Luke couldn’t help but wonder what had become of him. Perhaps he was sick. Perhaps there was a doctor’s appointment he was not aware of. It was probably nothing though.

All through the school day, Curt and he hardly talked. They exchanged pleasantries, but that was the extent of their conversation. Luke couldn’t be around Curt after they had butted heads yesterday, but he felt so stupid. Here he was, arguing with his best friend, over something as trivial as a T.V show.

Luke figured it was best to let Curt cool down before talking to him again.

As his mind figured out how to deal with Curt, his mind then thought back to Jacob. He had sure been acting strange since seeing the show. He wasn’t sure how to take his reaction. Maybe he hated it and didn’t want to hurt Luke’s feelings?

It would make sense. Jacob has always made personal sacrifices to be friends with Luke. Something Luke found annoying and pathetic.

Still, Jacob was a friend.

After school, Luke found himself at the front door of his friend Jacob’s house. He knocked on the door and, unsurprisingly, Jacob answered.

Jacob had a look of disappointment on his face, but quickly erased it and revealed a smile. “Hey, Luke.”

“Hey, Jacob,” Luke greeted. “Why weren’t you at school today?”

“Oh, I took a sick day.” Jacob then beckoned Luke into his house, shutting the door as he entered.

Luke turned to face Jacob. “Why did you take a sick day?”

Jacob opened his mouth to answer, but then the doorbell rang. He gestured Curt to wait a moment. When Jacob answered the door, Luke noticed it was a UPS man.

“Package for Mr. Worts.”

Jacob grabbed the large brown box from the UPS man rather abruptly. “It’s about time!” he snapped.

Both Luke and the UPS man leap back in shock at Jacob’s aggression.

“The receipt said that you would be here by 2:30. It is 2:35!”

The UPS man stammered for words. “Well… I um… I…”

“You call yourself the best in the business!” Jacob ranted. “Don’t make me laugh! I wouldn’t use your company to wipe my ass with! I’d rather use fucking FedEx!” He slammed the door in the man’s face.

He then revealed a gleeful smile as he embraced his package tightly against his body. “Now, to add you to my collection,” Jacob said as he eyed the package with a disturbing lust.

“Uh, collection?” Luke asked.

Jacob guided Luke up the stairs to his room and opened the door. “Yeah, my collection.”

Upon gazing into it, Luke noticed what collection Jacob was talking about. A My Little Pony Collection. Starting from the door all the way around the room, Luke took note of everything Jacob had. An entrance mat with Pinkie Pie staring at him. To his left, an entire shelf with nothing but pony figurines, all neatly placed together in row after row. There must have been easily 60 or 70 characters.

Just a bit further down, there were several large posters of My Little Pony characters. All of them hanging pompously over the bed.

As for the bed, the sheet, the covers, the blanket, the pillow, even the stuff animals, were all My Little Pony.

There were many more things that caught his eye, but Luke stopped counting how many items in this one room contained My Little Pony.

Luke hadn’t realized his mouth was hanging open and he wasn’t able to, not with everything that surrounded him. “Wow, you really liked that show, don’t you?”

Jacob gave him a look of disgust as if he had just been insulted. “Liked it?” He then stood proudly with his hand on his chest. “I loved that show!”

He placed the box on the bed and started to open it, like an excited child opening a Christmas present. As he pulled out the item, a large amount of packaging peanuts fell out of the box, but Jacob looked like he was too preoccupied to care.

The item was a large statuette of Princess Celestia. Jacob’s face lit up like a Christmas tree upon seeing it. “I know just where to put you.” He took her to the far side of the room and placed her on the shelf next to the window, which had statuettes of the main characters, only they were much smaller.

Luke couldn’t believe his eyes and yet, here it was. A large collection of My Little Pony stuff. “Dude, how long have you been watching this show?”

“About 24 hours,” Jacob replied.

“You bought all this?!” Pointing all around the room. “In 24 hours?”

“Next day shipping.”

“How much did all this cost you?”

Jacob took a second to think. “About 500 bucks.”

If Luke’s mouth wasn’t attached to his face, it would have surely dropped to the floor. “You spent 500 dollars on this stuff?!”

Jacob shook his head. “No, I spent 500 dollars on shipping for all this stuff.”

Luke shook his head in disbelief. “Where did you get the money for all this?!”

Jacob smiled. “College savings.”

“You blew all your college savings on this!” Luke snapped, but quickly drew back and rubbed his head, trying to keep his composure. “Look the point is, I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Oh, I’m fine.” Jacob then turned towards the Celestia sitting on the cabinet. “I’m very fine.” There was a disturbing lust in his voice that made Luke take a step back.

“Yeah, um…” Luke started to dig into his backpack. “I just came to drop off your homework.”

Jacob then took a leap of joy. “Oh, let me show you what I got at Wal-Mart last night!” He pulled out from his cabinet several notebooks. Not surprisingly, they all had My Little Pony characters on them.

Luke gave as genuine a smile as he could, but he might as well been Applejack for her inability to tell a lie. Fortunately, Jacob seemed too distracted to notice.

Jacob went to sleep that night with his plushy of Rarity, the white unicorn. Each episode of the series, he had a new favorite pony and tonight it was Rarity.

As sleep finally took a hold of him, something woke his from his slumber. The window to his room had opened with a startling gust of wind. He leaped onto his feet, holding the stuffed doll tightly against him. He scanned the room slowly and cautiously. However, as he scanned the room there was nothing there. He figured that it was just a large gust of wind and nothing more.

He placed his feet into his slippers, which were also My Little Pony and made his way to the window. He gave a quick look outside and didn’t notice anything strange. With that, he closed the window and proceeded back to bed.

As he drifted to dream, a soothing voice came to his ear. Despite that nobody should be in the room with him, he allowed the soft voice to dance in his mind.

The voice began to sing a soft song.

Come little children, I’ll take thee away

Into a land of enchantment

The melody itself drew Jacob’s eyes to open and stand out of his bed. He focused his gaze to the window and outside, just a few feet from him, a dark blue pony with wings and a horn on her head, sung her soft song.

Come little children, the time’s to play

Into my garden of shadows

Luna’s blue eyes met with Jacob and her body descended to his window side.

Jacob opened the window as if compelled by her lyrics.

Follow sweet children, I’ll show thee the way

Through all the pain and the sorrows

Luna revealed her hooves, holding them out for Jacob.

Jacob took them without hesitation. Within an instant, Luna lifted Jacob off the ground, but there was no sign of strain. It looked as if Jacob was as light as the air around them.

Weep not poor children, for life is this way

Murdering beauty and passion

Luna continued to drag Jacob into the night sky, singing her alluring song.

Minutes later, Jacob was taken to a large throne room, where at the top of the throne stood a tall white pony, with large white wings and a large white horn atop her head.

At that moment, the singing stopped and the spell upon Jacob was broken. However, he was no less captivated, for he knew where he was.

“I have brought him, dear sister,” Luna stated as she bowed her head.

“Thank you, Luna. You have done well,” the white pony replied.

With that Luna disappeared into the shadows, leaving Jacob with his host. Princess Celestia. “Step forward.”

Jacob’s face lit up like the sun that Celestia would raise every morning. “Oh my god! It’s Princess Celestia! Oh, my fucking god!” Jacob spouted like a crazed fanatic. He leaped up and down with a squeal as he bolted towards the throne of Celestia.

Celestia quickly held out her hoof. “Please! Not another step!”

Jacob quickly stopped in his tracks. It was so immediate, he almost toppled over.

“I understand that you are excited, but you must remain calm.”

Jacob sunk to his knees. “I’m sorry, but I’m such a huge fan of your show! And I think you’re so beautiful!”

Celestia started to blush, but quickly regained her composure. “While I am flattered, there are more important tasks to attend to.”

Jacob rose to his feet and took a few steps back, his ears ready to absorb every word that Celestia had to say.

“Do you wonder why you are here?” Celestia asked.

Jacob raised his eyebrow and shook his head.

“You are the chosen one.”

Jacob’s eyes started to widen as he heard those word. “Chosen one?”

“Long ago, there was a prophecy that foretold the coming of a very powerful and influential brony,” Celestia explained. “A brony who would convert his entire world into bronydom and convey love and tolerance to the realm.”

There was a slight pause as Celestia focused her gaze on Jacob. “You are that brony.”

A smile had reappeared on Jacob’s face. His smile was larger than it had ever been. “Me?”

Celestia nodded. “You must convert your world’s population into bronies. Only then will you be able to fulfill your destiny.”

Jacob found himself looking at the ground, as if he was lost in what Celestia was saying. As if what he was seeing, what was hearing couldn’t be real. And yet, he felt that it was.

“And to help motivate you, I will grant you a small taste of the rewards that awaits you.” Celestia’s horn started to glow as Jacob’s body began to tremble.

A strange light engulfed him and within an instant, Jacob was a boy no more. He looked where his hands should be and he only saw hooves. There was no doubt when happened in his mind. He turned towards the mirror to his left, and sure enough, he was a pony. Blue coat, black mane and a donkey’s head on his ass. He had become a pony. “Holy shit!” he said out loud.

“That’s right. You will be a pony and you shall share all the blessings of Equestria,” Celestia stated.

“Oh, fuck yeah!” Jacob shouted as he stomped his hooves in excitement.

“And your second reward I grant you,” Celestia then moved them both to a room beyond the throne room. Inside was a bed and a yellow pony with a long pink mane. “Fluttershy. She is yours for tonight.”

Jacob eyed her with desire. Each of her hooves were restrained in chains.

“Oops,” Fluttershy smiled innocently. “I seemed to have accidently chained myself to this bed.” She gently struggled against the chains, but it didn’t look like she wanted to be free. “I sure hope nopony takes advantage of this.”

Jacob’s eyes and mouth smiled as he approached her. And with that Celestia close the door behind him.

First Blood

Luke arrived at school the next day as usual. His mind couldn’t wrap itself around what he had seen at Jacob’s house. The show was good to be sure, but he hadn’t expected… such as strong reaction. Luke figured it was just the initial excitement of the new show and that it would all blow over in a week or two.

As Luke looked around him, nothing seemed out of place. Except that Jacob wasn’t in school. His mind wandered to the events of yesterday. Jacob had stayed home to wait for My Little Pony items he ordered off the internet. Spent all his college savings on ponies. While Luke didn’t agree with his choice, it was Jacob’s money. He had the right to spend it however he chose, but something still was unsettling in Luke’s gut.

Luke started to turn the combination on his locker when the double doors opened abruptly. At the door was Jacob. But he was not the same. Luke could see it even behind the pearl white cloak that he bore. He could see something in Jacob’s eyes that was not quite the same.

“My children!” Jacob spouted. “I have been sent here by Celestia to bring a revolution!”

Luke’s mind instantly went to the show. “Celestia sent him?!” he thought. “What the hell does that mean?”

The other teenagers in the hall started to speak indistinctively to one another. Luke could make out a few words but nothing more.

“Revolution?”

“Celestia? Isn’t she off My Little Pony?”

“Does he have a fucking pony on his cloak?

Luke focused his eyes on the cloak and sure enough, there was an image of a purple unicorn, Twilight Sparkle, on his cloak. As Luke continued to eye Jacob, he noticed a My Little Pony pendant around his neck. A Rainbow Dash plushy at his left side and a My Little Pony water bottle at his right side.

“My brothers, my sisters!” Jacob preached. “The time has come for the unity of this world!” Jacob held up his long staff in his hand. “The time has come for us to bring harmony and happiness to all our people!”

“Jacob, what the hell is going on?” Luke finally asked.

Jacob turned to Luke with a large smile on his face. “Luke, my brother.” Jacob embraced him.

Luke bit his lip and refused to hug Jacob back. “Jacob, what the hell is going on?” he repeated.

Jacob finally released Luke from his grip. “What’s going on is that you are being thanked.” He turned away from him and started to strut down the hallway. “Because of you, showing me that show, I now know what my true destiny is.”

“What does that mean?”

Jacob turned back to Luke. “Don’t you see? I’ve been chosen by Princess Celestia herself to bring order to our world of chaos. Discord is not going to win, my friend.”

Luke shook his head in confusion. “What the hell are you talking about? Who’s Discord?”

Jacob raised his eyebrow. “Haven’t you seen season 2?”

“No, I’ve been busy with homework.”

Jacob rubbed his eyes in irritation. “Oh my god, you have a lot of catching up to do.” He then came to his friend’s side and placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “But don’t worry, Luke. You are on the right path.”

Jacob turned towards the other students. “My children, we have been chosen by the great Celestia to bring love and tolerance to this world. Come!” Jacob started towards the exit. “Time is wasted here!”

One teen stepped out of the crowd, now gathered to see the ‘strange guy in the white cloak with the purple unicorn on it’. “And what if we don’t come?” he snapped.

Jacob turned with a threatening glare. “Then you can stay at your fucking school and waste your worthless life on this chaotic bullshit!” He put himself right up in the teen’s face with a fit of rage. The boy slowly started to back away in fright. “You can sell yourself to chaos and Discord and live a miserable life of misery!”

The teen started to curl up in a ball and started to cry. Everyone else simply watched as Jacob stood tall over the young man.

“Or,” Jacob’s voice shifted from complete rage, almost to a motherly voice. Like a parent talking to her child. “You can become one of us and see the light.”

The teen looked up, tears soaking his cheeks. “Do… do you really think… I could…” his sobs broke his speech patterns as he looked up to Jacob.

“My child, anyone can be a brony. And see the light.” Jacob took the teen’s hand and raised him to his feet. “Give yourself to Celestia and love and tolerate.”

The teen smiled as tears continued to roll down his face. “I will! I will see the light!”

The crowd roared with cheers of joy and laughter as if to celebrate the birth of a child.

Jacob raised his arms in the air once more. “Come, my children! To our future!”

Jacob was followed by dozens of teens as they marched out of the school, cheering and praising Celestia as they left.

Luke stood in the hallway with his mouth hung open, unable to comprehend what he had just seen. “What the fuck was that?!”

Before an answer could come to him, a force shoved him against his locker. When Luke looked up, he saw Curt standing over him. Curt grabbed Luke by the shirt and pushed his back against the locker. “What the hell did you do?!” Curt shouted.

“Curt! What the fuck?!” Luke snapped.

“What the hell did you do to Jacob?!”

Luke struggled against Curt’s arms, but couldn’t escape his grip. “What are you talking about?”

“You went over to Jacob’s house yesterday! What happened?!” When Luke failed to give an immediate response, Curt shook him violently. “What the fuck happened?!”

“Jacob showed me his My Little Pony collection! That’s it!”

Curt shook his head violently. “God dammit! He’s already got a collection!” Curt released his grip on Luke and made his way to the opposite side of the wall, his head resting on the lockers. “Of all the worst things that could happen, this is the! Worst! Possible! Thing!”

“What’s the big deal?” Luke asked. “It’s just a T.V show.”

Curt turned towards Luke his face painting an appalled expression. He attempted to speak, but he stammered, as if he couldn’t believe the comment Luke had made. “Just a T.V show?! Do you not see what is happening here?!”

“What?” Luke asked. “That Jacob is in some fantasy land? Yeah, that’s weird, but he’s not hurting anyone.”

“Not yet,” Curt pointed out. “Not yet, he isn’t. But he will. You’ll see. He will.”

Jacob gathered his followers in an underground basement. Candles were lit all around them, illuminating the room in a melancholy glow. Just within the candles light were posters of the six main characters of the My Little Pony series. Three on the left side and three on the right side. All leading up to a central figurine at the end of the room that stood proudly over the podium, which held a Princess Celestia doll on its stand.

The group inside was mumbling amongst themselves, uncertain of what their new leader had planned.

Behind the curtain, however, Jacob was speaking to one of his fellow bronies. “You are certain this is everyone who is willing to see the light.”

The brony bowed his head. “Yes, lord. This is everyone.”

“Excellent.” Jacob then made his way to the curtain and parted it with his hand and staff. However, the chatter had not ceased. It was only when he made his way to the podium and tapped his staff that the group was silenced.

“My children, you have all done well to come here. The revolution of this world is upon us and you are all going to share a part of it!”

The crowd started to cheer.

“Many of you have seen the show and have proven that you can love and tolerate. But many of you have yet to see it. However, you are here because you wish to see the light!”

Again, they cheered.

“And the light of the sun shall be blessed upon-“

“Jacoby?” a motherly voice came from upstairs.

Jacob lowered his head and rubbed his forehead with his hand. “Oh, god.”

“Are you and your little friends okay down there?”

“Yes, mom. We’re fine,” he called out.

“You guys aren’t having sex or doing drugs, right? You know how your father feels about that.”

“Yes, mom. I know. We won’t. I promise,” Jacob moaned.

“Okay, you kids have fun.”

Jacob rolled his eyes and sighed in annoyance. “Now where was I? Oh, yes. And the light of the sun shall be blessed upon-“

A noise came from the group that sounded like a cellphone ringing. Everyone looked deep in their pockets, seeing if it was their cellphone.

“Whose phone was that?!” Jacob snapped.

A girl in the back raised her had up. “That was me, sorry!”

“Sorry? Sorry?!” Jacob growled. “You want to see the light? You want the blessing of Equestria?!” He started to march towards her. “Yet, you… You! Would have the audacity to bring such a heathenish device into our most sacred meeting?!”

“But, I need to call my mom in case I don’t have a ride home,” the girl whimpered backing away in fear.

“So, you admit you willing brought this demonic device into this place?! Our civilization, in order to be perfect, must reflect Equestria’s!” Jacob raised his arms up as everyone took a step back. “Celestia does not look upon this well, my child. Celestia cannot bring love and tolerance to one such as you.”

“But… but I want to be a part of this,” she pleaded.

“Then are you willing to dispose of the very thing holding you back? Holding our perfect world back?” Jacob questioned.

There was a pause as the girl thought long and hard. She then noticed Jacob’s hand was held out, demanding the cellphone. The girl hesitated at first, but then finally surrendered the phone. Some of the group gasped in horror as Jacob marched to the podium with the phone in hand.

At the podium, he pulled out a cup of water and tossed the phone into it. The girl in the back started to cry as a group of friends started to comfort her.

“My children, we cannot allow ourselves to be separate individuals. In order for our cause to move forward, we must become a unity. We are all here because we believe in that unity, do we not?!”

The group nodded simultaneously.

“As great as our numbers are, it is not enough. Our perfect unity will not occur until all of us are bronies.”

One of the young men spoke, “How do we do that?”

Jacob gave a sinister smile and revealed his plan.

Tyler Hunter had brushed his teeth and went to bed as he did every night. He was enjoying the nice silence of his home. It had been a long day of school and homework and he was ready for some shut eye. His eyes slowly shut as he drifted to dream.

Suddenly, a cloth was forced against his face waking him up in a panicked state. He flailed back and forth, trying to escape the odd-smelling cloth, but a pair of arms wrapped themselves around his, preventing his escape.

As the fumes made their way into his nose and mouth, he attempted to scream, but only a muffled grunt was heard. It was hardly loud enough to be heard by anyone, save for himself and his attackers. The fumes continued to assault him and his body began to grow weary. His eyes began to get heavy and within a few seconds, his world went black.

When Tyler awoke, he found himself in a world of darkness. He looked all around him, but couldn’t see anything but blackness. It was hard to breath and his face was incredibly hot and sweaty. He motioned his arm to wipe the sweat of his face, but his arm failed to move. A force stopped it in his tracks. Panicking he tried to move his other arm, but it wouldn’t budge. He tried his legs, but they were stuck too.

Suddenly, the darkness was lifted and a bright light shined in Tyler’s face, blinding him. When his gaze began to focus once more, he noted Jacob stand over him.

“Jacob? What the hell is going on?” Tyler looked down at his arms to find that they had been duct taped to a chair. His legs as well. He struggled against his restraints, but was unable to break them.

“So, you are not one to see the light, huh?” Jacob stated.

“The light? What light? The one you blinded me with?!” Tyler snapped. Tyler took a moment to survey his surroundings. He noted that there were others in the room, but their faces were cloaked in black hoods.

“The light of My Little Pony!” Jacob poked his staff at Tyler. “You do not see the light.”

“What do you mean?” Tyler asked. “You mean, did I like the show?”

There was a silence that filled the room as the group patiently waited for his answer.

Tyler bit his lip. “Not really.”

There were several gasps in the group as the words echoed all around them.

“My children!” Jacob pointed at Tyler. “This is the kind of person that is a poison to this world!”

Tyler raised his eyebrow. “What?!  Because the show is not my thing?! Look, I don’t care if you like it! It just wasn’t for- Mmmph!”

A piece of tape was placed over Tyler’s mouth, turning his plights into muffled grunts.

Jacob stepped forward once more. “My brothers and sisters, there are people out there that will try to turn us away from the light, but I shall not allow it. If others will not see the light on their own, then we shall show them!”

The crowd gave a thunderous applaud as two bronies picked up the chair that held Tyler and dragged him to a big screen T.V. Tyler fought with all his might against his restraints and gag, but was unable to break his bonds.

The bronies placed Tyler in front of the T.V and pulled out the roll of duct tape.

“You will be set free, my child,” Jacob said as he made his way to Tyler’s side. He then placed his hand of the top of Tyler’s head. “Love and tolerance shall be your path.”

The bronies taped Tyler’s eyelids open as the screen started to flicker. Tyler struggled harder than he had struggled before and yet it made no difference.

He was forced to sit through thousands of pony images within minutes. He screamed in agony, which was still muffled. They were only loud enough to be heard by the bronies.

Luke came to school the next day as usual, but his mind was hardly on what was happening at school. His mind was still on what he had seen and heard yesterday. Jacob had been acting very strangely. This show had completely changed him. Luke wasn’t sure whether it was for better or for worse.

Coming down the hall with a bright smile on his face was Tyler Hunter. Luke had passed him by out in the halls before. They were friends, but he wouldn’t say close friends. “Hey, Tyler,” Luke greeted.

“Ponies!” Tyler shouted.

Luke gave a shocked look to Tyler. “What did you say?”

Tyler kept his big smile on his face. “Ponies!”

“Dude, you mean, My Little Pony?” Luke had talked to Tyler about it the day before and actually got him to watch it. But he stated it wasn’t his thing. “But I thought you didn’t like that show?”

“Ponies!” Tyler started to leap up and down, repeating his line over and over.

Curt came from behind Luke, shoving him out of the way. He made his way to Tyler. “Tyler! Tyler, speak to me, man! Say something not gay!”

Tyler gave a large, eerie smile. “Ponies!”

Jacob finally appeared in the hallways. Curt turned to him with a glare of pure rage. “Damn it, Jacob. What the fuck have you done to him?!”

Jacob smiled. “I showed him the light. He will now receive the blessings of Equestria.”

“You son of a bitch!” Curt charged for him, but two bronies stepped in his way and stopped him

“Jacob?” Luke asked. “What the hell is going on?”

Jacob turned towards him. “My destiny demands this, Luke. You will soon understand that this is for the best. Bronies are a boon to the world!” He shouted to the heavens. “Love and tolerance!”

Like a well-rehearsed speech, the bronies followed his chant. “Love and tolerance!”

The group marched out, preaching their beliefs. The two bronies that held Curt let go of him and followed their leader.

Curt turned to Luke with a stare of discontent. “I hope you’re happy with what you’ve done, Luke!”

“But I didn’t do anything!” Luke defended. “It’s just a T.V show!”

Curt pointed to Tyler. “Look at what that T.V show has just done!”

Luke pointed to Tyler as well. “This wasn’t the T.V show!” Luke snapped. “This is the work of a crazed idiot!”

“Yes, but the T.V show created this crazed idiot!”

“No, it didn’t! Jacob made up his own fantasy bullshit! And I’m going to knock some sense into him!” Luke shouted storming off to follow the bronies.

“You deal with the bronies your way, asshole!” Curt shouted. He then turned away and whispered, “And I’ll deal with them in mine.”

Curt gathered classmates who were concerned about the ‘Growing Brony Problem’ as they put it. Curt sympathized with them and gathered them into his backyard. His parents were out of town so, of course, they didn’t mind.

The classmates were talking amongst each other, asking if any of them were safe from the brony movement.

Curt finally moved up to the podium. “My fellow non-bronies!” he called out. Within seconds, the chatter stopped and the group’s focus was on Curt. “My friends, we are in dark times. The brony movement is upon us.”

Some of the audience whispered among each other, worry in their voices.

“The bronies speak of ‘love and tolerance’. But make no mistake!” Curt snapped as he leaned forward on the podium. “They want war. They want war so much, they have drawn first blood!”

Curt beckoned two gentlemen to escort Tyler to the podium. Tyler was still smiling as he had been all day.

“This is Tyler,” Curt introduced. “He was the first victim of the brony movement.” He turned towards Tyler. “Would you say hello Tyler?”

“Ponies!” Tyler shouted.

The audience gasped as the words filled the air. One man fainted in a flailing moan.

“Unfortunately, there is no known cure for bronyism.”

One woman stood up and shouted in fright. “My little sister! She watches my little pony! I have to save her!” She started to move out of the row of seats in panic, but Curt’s voice stopped her.

“Miss.” There was a hesitation in the air, as if Curt knew what to say, but didn’t have the strength or the will to do so. Finally, he broke the silence. “It’s too late for your sister.” He lowered his head in sorrow. “She’s gone.”

The woman sat down, tears streaming down her face. “No,” she whimpered. “She’s only seven years old!” she sobbed as she covered her eyes with her hands. The people to her left and right embraced her, attempting to comfort her.

One boy stood up. “We have to do something!”

The group became restless as they expressed their agreement with the one boy.

“I agree,” Curt stated, with those words the group became silent. “And do something we shall! For I have a plan that will break their spirits! Bronies will not win this war! We, the haters, shall prevail!”

The crowd turned into a thunderous cheer as Curt continued to declare war on the bronies. A war they were certain they could win.

Luke made his way passed Jacob’s mother, who insisted that Jacob was downstairs with his ‘little friends’. He knew that Jacob was having another brony’s meeting and he needed to confront him about it. Jacob had taken this obsession too far.

He marched down into the basement and entered the meeting place. As he passed through the door, he spotted dozens of bronies praying to the giant Celestia statue and just underneath it, was Jacob.

Jacob’s eyes met with Luke and he smiled. “Luke, my friend, welcome.” Everyone turned towards the doorway until all eyes were on Luke. “Are you here to reconsider my offer?”

Luke continued to glare at Jacob, “No. I’m not. I’m here to tell you, you’ve gone too far.”

Jacob took a step forward. “What are you talking about?”

“You can’t just kidnap people in the middle of the night and force them to watch your show!” Luke snapped.

“This is what Celestia told me to do!” Jacob explained, his eyes narrowing. “This is what my destiny is!”

Luke rubbed his forehead. “When the hell did Celestia tell you to kidnap Tyler?!”

Jacob turned away and looked up towards the Celestia statue. “A few days ago, I was taken from my home by Princess Luna.”

Luke raised his eyebrow and shifted his head in disbelief. “What?!”

“She took me to Equestria and that is when I met Celestia.” Jacob then turned toward Luke. “Celestia told me of my destiny and my sacred mission. To transform everypony in this world into bronies. And then…” A satisfied smile appeared on Jacob’s face. “I banged Fluttershy.”

Luke’s jaw dropped open in disgust. The other bronies began whispering between each other. “What?!”

One brony stepped forward. “It’s true. He described the event in great detail.”

Jacob bowed his head. “Oh, yes. Fluttershy can deliver. She can-“

“No, I mean, what the fuck?!” Luke screamed. “You think you are destined to turn everyone into bronies because of some stupid dream?!”

Jacob got in the face of Luke. “It wasn’t a dream! It was real!”

Luke shook his head violently, “No! No, it wasn’t real! It was all fake! None of it was real! My Little Pony isn’t real!”

The bronies began to whisper in panic, as if they weren’t certain what to do. As if they began to question their belief. However, Jacob was once again able to rally them with his words.

“You know what I think, Luke?” Jacob asked, pointing his finger at Luke. “I think you’re a non-believer.”

The room filled up with gasps as if the bronies’ ears were assaulted by blasphemous words.

Jacob turned around and took several steps towards the altar. “I’m afraid we can’t allow you to stay here, Luke.” He then turned towards his friend. “I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Luke scowled at Jacob. “What? You’re not going to convert me like you did Tyler?”

“In due time, perhaps,” Jacob explained. “But you are… were a good friend. And that is the only reason I am allowing you to leave. We bronies respect our friendships. Friendship is magic, after all.”

Jacob then turned his back on Luke. “But make no mistake. We will convert you. It’s only a matter of when.”

Luke turned around and left the room, mumbling bad words he could call Jacob under his breath.

As Luke left the room, Jacob made his way back to the podium and sighed.

One of the bronies caught on to their leader’s troubled thoughts. “Is something wrong, o’ great one?”

Jacob took a deep breath. “Luke’s words trouble me.” He looks up to Celestia. “Perhaps we are wrong. Perhaps we can’t convert everypony.”

The whole room bursts into whispers of uncertainty and disbelief. One brony finally speaks, “But o’ great one, what about the perfect world?”

Jacob turned to them, “Don’t you see? There are always going to be non-bronies like Luke who don’t understand what it means to see light.”

Another brony spoke, “So, what do we do?”

Jacob smiled. “It’s simple.” There was a long pause, as if to build dramatic effect. “We eliminate everypony else.”

The group again began to mumble amidst themselves. A brony stepped up and voiced his concern. “It’s that kind of… extreme?”

Jacob took a step forward. “When America took a stand against Germany in World War II, was that kind of extreme?”

The group shook their heads.

“Make no mistake. This is a war for our survival and our freedom,” Jacob declared. “And the only way to fight them is to fight back!”

The group began to cheer as their leader’s words rang in their ears.

“Love and tolerance!” Jacob shouted.

The group repeated their motto as a smile slithered onto Jacob’s face.

Luke left his finally class of the day. “Finally, Friday!” he thought. It wasn’t only the weekend, but two whole days were he didn’t have to participate in any brony movements or whatever else Jacob was planning.

He quickly threw his books in his locker when a voice cam over the intercom.

“Attention all bronies. There is an emergency meeting today, right now in front of the school.”

Luke rubbed his eyes. “Oh, god. Now what?”

“This meeting is mandatory. Meaning all bronies must attend.”

Luke shook his head and headed towards the front of the school. He didn’t know why he was even bothering. He knew it was a bad idea. He knew it was stupid to get involved. But he went anyway, despite all logic.

Luke passed through the doors and saw the bronies standing outside the school. They were murmuring to each other without purpose. Luke scanned the area and saw no sign of Jacob.

He made his way down to the parking lot where all the bronies had gathered. A few moments later, Jacob came through the same doors. He looked pretty furious.

“Who the hell called this meeting?!” Jacob snapped. “I certainly didn’t call it! So who did?!”

“I did,” a voice from the right spoke. Everyone turned their heads to see Curt and a group of other students.

Jacob glared at Curt. “What the fuck is this about?! Calling my meetings?!”

Curt had a sinister smile on his face. “Oh, Jacob. My old friend. I believe there is another old friend who’d like to say hello.”

Curt revealed the hand behind his back and within it was Jacob’s Celestia doll. Luke could tell, even from a distance. Jacob had personalized her mane to make it reflect the show more.

The bronies gasped in horror as they helplessly watched their princess being held hostage. Luke rolled his eyes and grunted in frustration.

Jacob took a step forward. “No, my Princess Celestia!” His horror quickly transformed into rage. “What do you want with her, you jackass?!”

Curt placed his hand on Princess Celestia’s head. “Not another step.”

With those words, Jacob stopped in his tracks, fearing for what would become of her princess. Some of the bronies began to develop tears in their eyes as they silently prayed for it to be over.

“We are here to demonstrate a point,” Curt started. “A point that we will not tolerate any more of your brony terrorism.”

Jacob revealed an appalled look on his face. “Our terrorism? You would take our princess as hostage? And you call us terrorists?!”

“The world has dealt with you long enough!” Curt snapped. “It is time for justice to be brought to those who have suffered because of your kind!”

“My destiny was brought to me by Princess Celestia herself! She charged me with this task!”

Curt gave a sly smile. “Oh, yeah. Well, this is what I think of your princess!” Within an instant, before anyone could do anything to stop him, Curt pulled Celestia’s head from her neck. The cotton that filled Celestia’s body burst out into the air as it fell upon the ground.

Many bronies screamed in paralyzing fear as they watched Curt hold Celestia’s head up high like a trophy. One brony even started to vomit violently at the sight of the carnage.

Jacob was silent, his mouth hung open as he helplessly watched his princess murdered before him. The only sound that came from the parking lot, were Curt’s final words.

“This is only the beginning. You, bronies, are next.”

With that, Curt and his friends vanished, leaving the bronies to mourn the loss of their leader.

Luke came up beside Jacob. After everything he had seen, Luke was silent for a moment. But as Jacob’s face was drenched in tears, Luke finally spoke. “Dude, she’s just a toy.”

With those words many bronies burst into tears. Jacob stood up and shoved Luke to the ground. “Leave us alone, you insensitive asshole!”

Luke got up and glared at Jacob. “Dude, grow up! She’s not real!”

“Leave us!” Jacob growled as he gestured Luke to depart.

Luke started to stomp away. “God, dammit,” he cursed under his breath as he stormed off, the echoes of mourning bronies at his back

War

There were cheers of celebration in Curt’s home. The sounds of laughter and merry making were filled the air as Curt sat in his chair and enjoy a nice cold Coke.

One hater stood up on a table. “Three cheers for the hater who brought us together.” He lifted his Coke and shouted. “Let’s hear it for Curt!”

The traditional ‘Hip-Hip Hooray!’ reverberated throughout the basement as the haters joined together to applaud their leader.

Curt simply bowed his head and thanked his followers, though he couldn’t be heard over the sounds of praise.

He raised his voice a bit louder to be heard, “Thank you all, but I cannot accept all the praise.”

The group started to clamor down as Curt continued to speak. “We, haters, have struck a tremendous blow against the brony movement.”

The crowd began to cheer once more. “And this is only the beginning. We are one step closer to bring order out of chaos!” Curt declared.

Suddenly, a crashing sound of a window breaking was heard. The sound caused a silence that paralyzed everyone. Curt, finally free of the paralyzing shock, made a mad dash upstairs to his living room. Once there, he found glass shards on his living room floor. A rock with a piece of paper tied to it lay only inches away.

Curt looked out the broken window to see two teenage boys glaring at him through their car window.

Curt knew that they purposely waited for him. They wanted Curt to know who it was. Not that he didn’t already. After a moment, which consisted of one of the boys giving Curt the bird, they drove off. Curt picked up rock and rolled out the piece of paper, reading it carefully.

Down with the Haters!

Princess Celestia Lives!

Long Live Princess Celestia!

Curt crumbled up the paper with a frustrated grunt and tossed it to the side. He stomped his way downstairs and made his way back to his room.

The haters all stood in the room, still awestruck at what had happened.

“What happened?” one of the haters asked, as Curt entered the room.

“The bronies,” Curt said as he sat down in his chair. He placed his hand on his chin as if to contemplate his next move. “They are not the pussies I took them for.”

The haters looked at each other with confusion. One hater stepped towards him. “So, what do we do?”

Curt was silent for a moment, but then after what seemed like minutes, he finally spoke. “I was too nice.”

The haters began whisper to each other their minds tried to conjure the meaning of Curt’s words.

Curt stood up. “I took out their leader, yes. But that has only made their resolve stronger.” Curt made his way to the edge of the room, where his podium was stationed. “We have been too soft on the brony movement! It’s time we take them out!”

The group continued to murmur amongst each other as if to consider Curt’s latest course. One hater stepped forward. “Isn’t that a little harsh?”

Another hater stepped forward. “Yeah, I mean, it’s not like it’s completely their fault. Some of those ponies are kind of cute.”

Curt’s jaw dropped as the hater’s word reached his ears. “What did you say?” Curt growled.

The hater looked around and noticed that all eyes were suddenly on him. “What?” he shrugged. “All I said was that I thought some of the ponies looked kind of adorable.”

The sounds of gasps shook the entire room. Curt took several violent steps towards the hater. “How dare you say that word in my house?! Who the fuck do you think you are?!”

The hater drew back in fear as Curt pressed forward. “What word? Ponies? Cute? What?”

“He said it again!” one of the haters exclaimed.

“We’re losing him!” another cried out before unleashing a scream in terror.

Curt shoved the hater to the ground. “How dare you use such language in my home?! No guy is supposed to use that word! No guy who believes in the cause can use that word!”

The hater shook his head. “But I do believe in the cause. I hate bronies as much as anyone!”

Curt got right in the hater’s face. “Only two types of people in the world use the forbidden words. Girls and fags. Are you a fag?”

There was a slight pause as the hater gave Curt a confused stare. “No. I’m not a fag!”

Curt raised his eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “Really? Because only gay people use those words. And you’ve used them three times in a day.” Curt turned his back on the hater. “Clearly, you are a fag.”

The hater’s gazed slowly sunk to the ground. “I… I didn’t know.” There was a silence in the room, until finally the hater broke the silence once more. “I didn’t know that, saying words like … the forbidden ones, meant that you were gay.” He shook his head. “I didn’t know.”

“Ignorance is bliss,” Curt stated as he made his way back to the podium. He heaved a heavy sigh as he turned towards the hater. “From now on, you are hereby banished from the hater group.”

The hater took a step forward. “Wait, I’m not gay! I like women! Give me another chance!”

Curt shook his head. “Sorry, but I can’t allow fags in my organization. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

With a heavy heart, the hater turned around and made his way out the door, never to return.

Jacob’s computer screen flashed on as he placed the headset on his head. He positioned his mic so that his voice would be read clearly. He spoke into it, hearing the playback from his headphones to ensure they would hear him.

He angled his webcam to his face to ensure that it would remain focused on him at all times.

In the hours after the hater’s attack, Jacob had worked non-stop to rally his people together and to raise their spirits. It had taken him all day, but now was the time. He clicked his webcam on and spoke.

“My brony brothers and sisters, I am Jacob Worts, your leader. Earlier today, a terrorist group known as the Hater Alliance attacked and publicly murdered our princess. They had hoped to divide us by dealing us a grieving blow. However, this attack has only made our resolve stronger. The Hater Alliance will soon discover that the brony movement cannot be stopped.”

“This is an invitation to all bronies to join our cause against the Hater Alliance and to allow others to join the bronies and see the light. A perfect world is on the horizon and we bronies shall be the ones who dominate it. Love and tolerance shall spread to the four corners of the world and peace shall reign supreme, but only if we eliminate all those who would stand in our way.”

“And for those of you watching this, who believe that we can be overcome, let me give you a small demonstration of our power.”

Jacob clicked on a button and allowed a song to be played from the show, where the pink pony known as Pinkie Pie got the whole town to smile.

After the song, Jacob clicked another button to have the camera focus on him.

“As you can very well see, our weapons are far beyond what your petty minds could comprehend. Consider this a warning to all those who have not yet turned towards the light of Celestia. Those who are worthy enough shall join our ranks shall receive the blessings of Equestria. Those of you who are not, may Celestia have mercy on your souls.”

Jacob then turned off his webcam. His eyes then diverted to the followers counter on the left side of the screen. Almost within an instant, the number had stated one. A instant later, two. Another instant, four. Eight. 14. 58. 104. The number kept rising and rising, faster and faster. As Jacob looked upon the number of bronies joining his cause, he gave a cruel smile.

“My army gathers.”

Luke awoke the next day with a bright smile on his face. It was Saturday. No school. And no bronies or haters. Just him and whatever he wanted to do. “A little college football is just the escape I need.”

He jumped out of bed, ran downstairs and prepared his breakfast cereal. He went back into his room and turned on his T.V, allowing the morning news to run before changing to his football game. It would have been better for him to sleep an extra twenty minutes, because when the news’s subject started to play, he shook his head in irritation.

“This is CBB news and here is your host, Imma Weiner,” a voice from the T.V announced.

A woman appeared from the shadows, sitting down at her news desk.

“Good Morning, everyone. And welcome to CBB. Today’s top story, a new movement has taken the world by storm. A movement called the Bronies, adult fans of the show My Little Pony, who are no doubt gay for watching a show made for eight year old girls.”

“A new poll says that the movement now consists of 80 million members and growing with each passing day, thanks to a threat promoted by a terrorist by the name of Jacob Worts from the small town of Cedarville, Utah.”

The news room plays a video with the brony leader announcing his name and motive to the world.

Luke rubbed his head and growled under his breath. “God dammit.”

The video ends and cuts back to Imma.

“The video goes on to promote violence to those who do not convert to the brony cause. Since its posting, the country of Wofogickleburg has expressed its support for the brony movement, converting all its resources to ponies. We go to Wofogickleburg, live with Seymour Butz. Seymour, what is it like being in a country full of faggots?”

The news room cuts to a male news caster surrounded by hundreds of angry bronies, holding up signs that support the brony movement.

“Well actually, Imma, that’s a common misconception. Not all bronies are gay. Most of them are straight. I, myself, am straight.”

Imma’s voice then came over his head set. “But you watch a show for little girls, don’t you?”

“Well, yes. However, the show’s quality proves that a show for little girls can appeal to more mature audiences.”

“So, you admit to being a faggot?”

“I am not a faggot, you stupid bitch!” Seymour shouted. “And the brony movement cannot be stopped! The brony movement will prevail! You will all be converted or you will all burn in hell! Back to you, Imma.”

The news room cuts back to Imma.

“Well, it seems that the brony movement is pretty much unstoppable. Is there anyone out there who can stop these queers? Imma Weiner, CBB news.”

Luke stormed his way into the house of Curt Anderson.

“God dammit, can I please just go one day without having to deal with his bullshit?” Luke thought to himself as he made his way downstairs to Curt’s room.

He opened the door to see Curt on his computer. Curt slowly turned to Luke with a smile. “Ah, Luke. I take it you saw the news. Bronies are beginning to gather. We can wipe them out in one fell swoop.”

“Curt, don’t retaliate,” Luke demanded. “You are only going to provoke him. Be the bigger man.”

Curt rose from his seat. “Oh, Luke, you should know any man is a bigger man than a brony.”

“I admit Jacob overacted to what you did yesterday, but what you guys did was pretty damn stupid and rude.”

Curt made his way to Luke and placed his hand on his shoulder. “Luke, we can’t be worried about their feelings when we are fighting for order.”

Luke glared at Curt. “Fighting for order? That’s the same thing Jacob is fighting for! What kind of messed up version of order are you promoting?!”

“The way the world should have been. Should always be.” Curt made his way towards his computer, leaning over it the desk.  “Bronies are just the beginning. Soon the world will be free from all the cancers that plague it. Women video gamers. Women football fans. Stay at home dads.”

With each person Curt stated, Luke grew more appalled. “You shallow bastard.”

Curt turned toward Luke. “Luke, you don’t understand. The world has a certain order. Men like football, women like ballet. Men like wrestling, women like ponies. Men like violence, women like flowers! That’s the way the world works!”

Luke pointed his finger to Curt, violently. “That is an outdated notion, you bigot! The world is changes! That’s what it does!”

Curt shoved Luke’s arm away from him. “And that’s why someone has to put a stop to it! Bronies are just the first! By tomorrow, the hater army will be ready and the world will be back to the way it was!”

“Does your followers know about this?! Do they know what your real plan is?

Curt smiled. “Not yet. But they will. And when they do they will see what I’m doing is right.”

“I’m warning you, Curt, don’t do this!”

Curt then made his way to his computer and clicked a button. “It’s already done.”

A video then began to play soft music with an announcer in the background. “Our world is a perfect and wondrous place.” The video began to show scenes of flowers and butterflies. “Within it lies beauty and enchantment.”

The bright blue skies then begin to shift into a dark red. “But there are people in this world that want to take all that away from us.” A woman screams as shadowy figures come over her. “Bronies!”

A group of bronies stand with devil-like smiles on their faces. “Male fans who watch My Little Pony. They are a cult dedicated to their pony goddess. And will stop it nothing to destroy the world!”

The images then flash to a city in a fiery inferno. “But there is hope.” A flash of light brings the shot to a group with shotguns at their shoulders. “One group will take a stand against the bronies.”

The group pulls out their shotguns and blows the heads off of the bronies. “The haters are dedicated to exterminating all bronies, like the vermin they are. If you have what it takes to be a hater, then join our cause, or be lost to the bronies.”

An image of Curt appears on the video. “I am Curt Anderson and I approve this message.”

The real Curt shut off the computer and gave a sinister smile. “They will show this on the evening news. At that point I will rally my troops.”

He took a step forward. “This is a good day for the world, Luke. A good day.”

Luke shook his head and stomped out of the house, knowing that was nothing else he could do.

Luke spent the whole day watching the college games, but was unable to concentrate on them. The whole situation between bronies and haters was out of control. Every time he thought about he fell deeper into despair. He blamed himself for showing Curt and Jacob the show and blamed himself for everything that had happened so far.

“If I had just kept this show to myself, this wouldn’t have happened,” Luke thought to himself. He continued to watch the games all day, but his thoughts kept wondering towards the war that was happening right in his backyard.

After a long day, he made his way to his room and turned on his computer. With nothing else to do, he decided to watch of few more episodes of My Little Pony before dinner. As he watched it, the thoughts of the war came into his head as well. The light colors and upbeat feel of the show did little to distract him.

A voice called to him from downstairs. “Luke, it’s time for dinner, honey.”

“I’ll be down in a minute, mom,” Luke replied. He was too focused on the episode in front of him. The episode was about the three races of ponies not being able to get along, proclaiming a new land for themselves.

Luke continued to watch the episode until his mother had finally come into the room.

“Luke, your father is waiting for-“ Her speech was interrupted by what she saw on Luke’s computer screen. “Oh, my god! Luke, what are you watching?!”

The fright and shock in his mother’s voice caused Luke to snap around to her quickly. “Mom, relax it’s just-“

“Larry! Larry! Come quickly!” his mother called.

Like lightning, Larry, Luke’s father, sprinted up the stairs to Luke’s room. “Honey, what the matter?” As soon as his eyes entered the room, his gaze went straight to the computer screen. “Jesus Christ!” The shock and alarm turned into rage. “Son, what do you think you are watching?!”

“Dad, it’s just My Little Pony,” Luke tried to explain.

Luke’s father pointed down the hallway. “Go downstairs, right now!”

“But dad-“ Luke started to plea, but his father would not hear of it.

“Go downstairs, right now! I’ll be down in a minute!”

Luke reluctantly did as he was told and slunk his way downstairs. The wait for his parents was unbearable. He felt as if they would never come down. After five minutes of waiting his parents finally arrived.

“Son, you’ve been watching that show for a while, haven’t you?” Larry asked.

“Dad, it’s actually pretty good,” Luke stated.

“Actually pretty good?! Oh, god, I’ve failed as a father.” Larry turned away.

Luke shook his head. “I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s just a T.V show.”

Luke’s mother took a step forward. “Honey, we love you, but that show is bad for you.”

Luke raised his eyebrow. “How? How is it bad for me?”

“Honey, it turns you into a…” his mother paused, biting her lip “gay faggot. We just want you to be safe.”

“Mom, that’s not how it works,” Luke attempted to explain.

The father turned around sharply. “You do not talk to your mother that way, young man!”

“I was just-,” Luke was cut off once again by his father.

“No! I am not raising a girly faggot!” His father ranted. “Here’s what’s going to happen: You are going to go upstairs and you are going to watch something violent. Something vulgar and graphic. Maybe even something with porn in it like normal teenage boys.”

His father then took a step towards him. “But if I ever catch you watching My Little Pony again, you are grounded for the rest of your life.”

Luke lowered, his eyes glaring at the ground.

“Now, go to your room and do what I told you.”

Luke stood up from the sofa and marched to his room, murmuring under his breath. “God dammit.”

He could hear his father heaving a heavy sigh, stating that that was the hardest thing he had ever had to do.

“This is Between the Issues!” a voice announced. “The show about arguing over mostly pointless debates! Politics, Pop Culture, Religion! You name it, we argue about it! And here’s your host, Tom Smith.”

“Good evening, everyone,” a man appeared from behind a curtain. “I’m Tom Smith.”

The audience greeted him with a thunderous cheer. He bowed his head and spoke, calming the audience down. “Welcome to another addition of Between the Issues. Tonight, two sides in an ever growing war. Bronies and now the new Haters group are threatening to declare war on each other.”

Tom gestured towards his right. “Joining us will be Dr. Hugankis from the University of Denver who will represent the brony community.” A woman appeared from the right side of the stage and took her seat.

Tom then gestured to his left. “And Professor Rotch from Harvard University to represent the hater community.” A man then appeared from the left to sit in his seat straight across from Dr. Hugankis.

Tom finally took his seat in between the two and smiled. “Well, we’ve got a great show for your tonight and we’ll just jump right into it. Welcome to both Dr. Hugankis and Professor Rotch.”

The two bowed their heads and thanked their host.

Tom then turned to Professor Rotch. “So, Professor, you are an expert in the haters, yes?”

The professor nodded his head.

“Is it true that the country of Werberstain has shown support of the hater’s community?”

The professor nodded again. “It is true. The country has seen the footage, made by Curt Anderson from Cedarville, Utah, and they are in full support of ridding the world of bronies.”

Tom then turned towards Dr. Hugankis. “And the neighboring country of Wofogickleburg is in support of the bronies, are they not?”

The doctor nodded. “Yes, they are.”

“I imagine tensions between the two countries are pretty rocky, right now?”

The doctor nodded. “Yes, the Wofogickleburgians are furious at the Werberstainians. They believe that the only way to save the world is to either join the cause or die.”

The professor started to speak. “The bronies are trying to force their beliefs onto other people. You can’t just force someone to like the same show you like.”

“Then all those who do not see the light will most likely die!” the doctor snapped.

“You can’t kill people simply because they don’t like something you like!” the professor retorted.

Dr. Hugankis pointed violently at her opponent. “You wanna make something of it, asshole?!”

The professor stood up and brought his arms out. “Bring it, bitch!”

Dr. Hugankis stood up quickly and tackled her opponent to the ground. Fist after fist flew at one another as Tom sat silently in his chair.

Tom then smiled towards the audience. “Well, that sure didn’t take long, did it?” The audience then started to roar with laughter.

“I think it’s safe to assume that we can expect World War III tomorrow, as both the United States and Germany have made their anti-brony movement motives clear. While on the other side of the world, Russia and Japan are in full support of the bronies. Will we all live to see tomorrow? Tune in next time for Between the Issues!”

Luke sat at his computer, too angry to do anything else but sit at a digital bar. He clicked on his mouse to watch his avatar drink another bottle.

He tapped on his keyboard, spelling a message. Another

A moment later, the bartender sent him a message. Haven’t you already had too much, kid?

Luke tapped on his keyboard in frustration. Just get me another one, damn it!

A moment later, the bartender’s avatar placed a full bottle before Luke. Another click of the mouse and Luke’s avatar was chugging away. As the digital beer was consumed by his digital self, he couldn’t help but be consumed by everything that had happened today.

First, the bronies convert several countries, his parents find out he enjoys My Little Pony and forbid him to watch it, and now the world is going to go to war over a T.V show.

Luke had secretly wished he never clicked on that link to the first episode. He thought maybe all this could have been avoided.

As he sat he took note of another avatar coming up to the table. Fyre-Flye requested something hard and fast.

The bartender almost immediately placed a drink in front of her.

Luke was at first simply going to ignore her and ponder on his own thoughts, but then a private message came to his screen from Fyre-Flye.

Wanna talk about it? :)

Luke tapped on his keyboard, shaking his head.

Not going to do any good. The world’s going to hell anyways.

Luke was about to shut his computer off for the night when a message from Fyre-Flye stopped him.

Yeah, all this for a T.V show. Makes me sad. :(

Luke tapped on his keyboard once again.

The thing is it’s not a bad show. But the way both sides are going about is wrong!

Luke shook his head violently as he entered his message. He thought about how Jacob and Curt had taken their beliefs too far and how it was going to take the world with them.

Fyre-Flye’s message appeared.

So, how do you think we should stop them?

Luke’s mind started to work, but it wouldn’t work without help. He knew he would need a way to talk to the world. Like a blessing from God, Fyre-Flye’s message appeared.

What if I could help get your words out there?

Luke smiled as he continued to plan with Fyre-Flye the rest of the night.

The sun was slowly rising over the mountains as Jacob and Curt readied their forces, each of them taking a side of the town.

After their preparation, they began to march towards the center of the town. Their feet rumbling the earth like a small quake. Their voices of anger and rage roaring like thunder. As the two groups approached each other, the sounds became louder. People abandoned the street to make way for the two parties.

When Jacob finally caught eye of his opponents, he ordered his troops to halt. His notice Curt doing the same.

One of the bronies leaned into Jacob’s ear. “We just got word from Wofogickleburg. They are ready to attack as soon as we are. Japan and Russian won’t be far behind.”

Jacob rubbed his hands together and revealed a sinister smile. “Perfect.”

The two parties were locked into a state of silence, as if they were waiting for the other to make the first move. The silence was overwhelming. It was as if the entire world was holding its breath.

Just then a sound came over them.

“Hello. Could I have everyone’s attention please?”

They all turned to a nearby video store and saw Luke’s face on the T.V screen.

“I just want to say something before you all kill each other.”

One of the bronies had asked Jacob if they should ignore it, but Jacob felt that he should allow Luke his final words. It would do little to stop them.

“I know why you are all here. It is all because of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, a T.V show made for little girls. Yes. That was originally the intended audience, but the creators of the show attempted to make it enjoyable for children and the adults that watch it. So it was only natural that young adults would enjoy it as well.”

Some of the bronies began to nod to each other, while the haters started to laugh or boo.

“Some of you think this makes us gay. Some of you think this makes us less of manly.  And there are some of you who enjoy the show so much you think anyone who dislikes the show is evil.”

The bronies and haters began to whisper to their respective groups as I they were uncertain what to think.

“My question to all of you is … Why do you care?”

The two groups began to whisper to each other as those words echoed through the town, as every T.V and computer screen replayed the message.

“Why do you care? If someone watches a T.V show not originally created for them, why do you care? If someone doesn’t like the things you like, why do you care? If someone doesn’t agree with you on a matter, why do you care?”

Silence in the air as the transition ended. The two groups turned towards Luke as he appeared from one of the nearby alleyways. “Why do any of you care?”

A moment of silence passed as the words sunk into their brains. Finally, Luke’s father, one of the haters, stepped forward. “You know, he’s right.”

Curt turned to him with a shocked look on his face. “What?”

Luke’s father turned towards the haters. “We can’t stop these people from watching the show. We never will be able too. And even if we did, then what? They’d just find another show and another, until we learn that bronies are here in the world. And they aren’t going anywhere.”

A brony took a step forward. “And maybe, the haters aren’t such bad people after all.”

Jacob took a step forward. “How can you say that?! They are trying to destroy us!”

The brony turned towards his fellow bronies. “Look maybe, what we were doing is wrong? Maybe we shouldn’t be trying to convert people into bronies just because we love it. If someone doesn’t want to be a brony, they should have that right.”

Tyler stepped out of the brony crowd with a smile. “Ponies!”

Another hater stepped out of the crowd. “And maybe the show isn’t as bad as other shows on T.V right now.”

“Maybe we just don’t understand it.”

A brony stepped out of the crowd. “Guys, we are never going to get people to like the show unless they want to. We should be willing to accept that people won’t like the show.”

Luke’s father spoke once again. “The truth is, bronies and haters will never be able to get along. But…” he scratched the back of his head, as he if he didn’t know what to say. “Maybe if we each do our own thing…”

A brony finished for him. “We can hate each other a little less.”

Tyler smiled. “Ponies!”

Luke’s father smiled at the bronies. “Love and Tolerance.”

The brony smiled back. “Haters forever.”

Just then the T.V’s at the nearby T.V store flashed as a voiced announced breaking news. A man appeared on screen.

“Breaking news in the Brony-Hater War. The countries of Wofogickleburg and Werberstain have signed a temporary truce. After seeing the image of a young boy, giving the ‘Why do you care?’ speech, the two countries agreed to a treaty called the ‘Agree to Disagree’ agreement.”

Curt looked at the ground. His eyes narrowed as he gritted his teeth. “No.” Curt then raised his head to the haters. “No! Don’t you see? This is one of the bronies tricks!”

The haters could only glare at Curt as he ranted and raved.

Jacob turned to his followers. “My brothers, my sisters,” he pleaded. “We are so close to bringing the purity of Equestria here. Do not forsake me!”

Like the haters, the bronies could only gaze upon Jacob with disgust and disapproval. Even Tyler was able to frown upon him.

Curt turned towards Jacob. “This isn’t over, brony! This war will happen!”

Jacob turned to face Curt and smiled. “Bring it, asshole!”

Curt charged toward Jacob, tackling them both to the ground. Fist flew back and forth as they two continued to pummel the snot out of one another.

Luke’s father came to Luke’s side. “Are you going to stop them?” he asked.

Luke shook his head. “No, I’ve been waiting all week for this.” He smiled as he watched the two continued to fight it out.