It All Started With a Glass of Water

by Afro Pony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Derpy Hooves, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1005

Spike and Twilight get into an argument about the pronunciation of the word “water”

Many scholars have argued over the most important issues known to pony kind. These intellectual debates will forever shape the very essence of importance and knowledge.

This is not an example of those debates.

Spike and Twilight get into an argument about the pronunciation of the word “water”

Written for the One-Shotober Challenge. ONLY THE STRONGEST WILL PROGRESS

Published 2013-09-27 23:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-27 23:20:03 UTC

"Why are you saying it like that?"

 Twilight practically floated out of her bed, the intoxicating aroma of the morning waking her from the embrace of the bed. She rubbed her eyes and gave a loud yawn.

“Mmm...” she moaned, imagining the delectables being prepared just downstairs. She stretched her muscles and started out of her room and down the stairs. Sure enough, her number one assistant was preparing a fresh and hot breakfast for the unicorn.

Spike flipped a pancake with expert skill, carefully letting it fall back into the frying pan. “Mornin’ Twi, how many eggs do ya want?” he asked.

Twilight put a hoof to her chin in thought. “The usual two should be good enough,” Her stomach suddenly growled in protest. “Aheh...better make that three!” she announced, blushing.

Spike rolled his eyes, a smile on his face. “Yeah, yeah...say, do we have any more OJ?” he asked. The dragon opened the fridge and poked a head inside. “Pssh...bone dry.”

“Oh! How can I forget to pick up so orange juice?” Twilight asked. “Did you put it on the grocery list?”

Spike audibly gulped. “Um, it may have slipped my mind.” He chuckled nervously.

It was Twilight’s turn to roll her eyes. “Nevermind it then,” she said, calming Spike. “Could you get me a glass of water?”

Spike grabbed a medium sized glass. “One glass of water coming right up!” he announced, thrusting the cup in the air. The drake raised an eyebrow at Twilight’s giggle. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, just the way you say ‘water’, it’s cute.” she said, continuing to giggle.

Spike sighed in slight annoyance. “And exactly what’s wrong with the way I pronounce it?” he asked. “Seemed perfectly fine to me.”

“You pronounce it like ‘wah-tah’, it’s pronounced ‘war-ter’. Kind of like how it’s spelled.” she responded matter of factly.

Spike huffed. “Oh I’m pronouncing it weird? You're adding an extra ‘r’ in there.” he pointed out.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Well weird or not, that’s the way you say it.” She rose from her seat, now if you’ll excuse me I have to go to the little filly’s room.”

“Make sure to was your hooves with nice warm water,” Spike said, trying his best to emphasize his version of the word.

Twilight halted in her tracks and grimaced. “Spike, say it with me; ‘war-ter, warter, water.”

Spike flagged his guardian. “You say it like this Twi, ‘wah-tah, wahtah, water. What’s so hard to understand about it?” he asked.

Twilight groaned in frustration. “You say it like you're from Manehatten! Why use an accent?”

“I’m not using an accent, that’s how you pronounce the word!” exclaimed Spike. Both the unicorn and the dragon locked each other in a stare down.

“Do I really need to bust out the dictionary just to prove you wrong?” asked Spike. “Because I will.”

“Go ahead...prove that you’re wrong,” dared Twilight.

The dragon narrowed his eyes. He slowly left the kitchen and headed over to a bookshelf. His finger traced alongside the books. “Aha, here we go!” he exclaimed, pulling out a large red book. “Equestrian Dictionary!”

“Not so fast, Spike,” interrupted Twilight. She used her telekinesis to pull the book away from Spike’s grasp. “This is last year’s dictionary Spike, the terms are out of date.”

The dragon’s eye twitched in disbelief. “Are you serious!? I’m sure the terms are just fine.”

Twilight shook her head. “No way Spike, we’ll just have to get somepony else’s opinion on it. Then, they can tell you that I’m right.”

“But you’re not right!” yelled Spike. “You say the word, ‘wah-tah’!”

“No it’s ‘war-ter’, why do you keep pronouncing it like that!?”

“Gah!” groaned Spike. He grabbed one of Twilight’s hooves and headed for the door. “Come on, we’ve got to settle this once and for all.” The two left the library and headed into town. After a while of searching for someone to clarify their ordeal, they found a certain wall eyed pegasus delivering mail to Sugarcube Corner.

“Derpy!” shouted Spike, trying to get the ditzy mare’s attention. The mail mare turned towards the dragon with a smile.

“Hiya Spike, hiya Twilight! What’s up?” she asked.

The unicorn and dragon shared a look. “Derpy, we need your help. How do you say the word ‘water’?” asked Twilight.

The yellow maned mare stifled a giggle. “Why do you say it like that?” she asked.

Spike cheered as Twilight’s jaw dropped. “Aha! I knew it! You say water my way!” he proclaimed proudly. The drake’s enthusiasm was lost as Derpy’s suppressed giggles were once again heard. “Huh?” asked Spike.

“Silly dragon!” chided Derpy. “Everypony knows you say it like this....” she cleared her throat. “...way-ter, wayter, water.”

Spike and Twilight shared a look. “Really?” they asked in unison.

Derpy nodded in approval. “Yep! Now if you’ll excuse me I need to get back to my mail mare duties!” With a salute, Derpy flew into the air, and away from the baffled unicorn and dragon.

Twilight sighed. “Perhaps she isn’t the best pony to try and get in information from?” she suggested.

Spike shrugged in response. “Whatever, I’m kinda over it now,” he admitted.

Twilight nodded in agreement. “Yeah, so am I,” she said. The two shared a laugh before deciding to head home.

“I can’t believe we spent half the morning arguing over pronunciation How...wasteful,” said Twilight.

“Yeah, that was really...oh my gosh.”

Twilight looked at Spike’s hysterical expression with confusion. “Spike? What’s wrong-” Twilight’s question was lost to her as she caught sight of the inferno. The treehouse was being engulfed with tall orange flames. Even from the far distance away she was, Twilight could feel the heat nearly burn her eyelashes off.

The unicorn sighed. “You forgot to turn off the stove, didn’t you?”

The dragon merely nodded.

“And now the treehouse is on fire?” she asked.

 Again, another nod.

 “Of course...”

A firepony suddenly barreled past the two. “All right! We need to get some way-ter on this blaze pronto!”

“Oh, come on!”