“Twilight?” Spike asked nervously.
“Yes, Spike?" Twilight replied curiously.
“Well, uh…” he began bashfully as he fidgeted with his fingers.
Twilight stopped what she was doing and approached her number one assistant.
“Are you okay?” she asked with concern as she watched Spike seem to suddenly behave very unlike himself. "Are you sick?"
“No,” he meekly replied. "Or, uh, I at least don't think so."
Twilight walked around Spike giving him a good once over in search of any signs of an ailment. There was definitely something amiss. His breathing was uneasy, his body was trembling, and it almost appeared as if he wasn't entirely 'all there', so-to-speak.
Spike broke out into a cold sweat as his friend eyed him up.
"Spike!" cried Twilight with concern. "Do we need to get you to the doctor?"
"No," he insisted as he felt a lump form in his throat. "It's just that... That is to say..."
"Spike!" cried Twilight as she put her hooves upon his shoulders. "What's going on? I can't help you if you don't tell me!"
“Uh,” said Spike as he stared into Twilight's panicked eyes. “I want to know what you know about guys?”
There was an awkward pause that eventually ended with Twilight removing her hooves from Spike's shoulders and giving her assistant a most puzzled look.
“What do I know about guys?” she asked.
“Y-yeah,” squeaked Spike as his face turned beet red and he stared towards the floor.
Twilight’s mind quickly filled with a sea of sarcastic answers. However, the look on Spike’s face told her that she should take Spike's question as seriously as possible.
“Spike,” she said calmly. “Could you be a bit more specific?”
Spike nervously looked about to ensure no pony else was around before gesturing for Twilight to come close enough for him to whisper in her ear.
“Dinkies,” he mumbled.
“WHAT!” Twilight cried out in shock.
“Shh,” he said as firmly and quietly as he could while placing his hand over Twilight's mouth.
“You’re asking me about your penis?” she asked in a tense, yet low, tone.
Spike appeared confused.
“Ungh!” groaned Twilight as she put her hoof to her forehead. "Dinky is a cutesy term ponies use sometimes to describe a colt’s private parts.”
“Oh,” Spike replied bashfully. “The princess told me it was my ‘Dinky Dragon’ and that he was a ‘Special Friend’ I should only play with by myself when no pony else was around.”
Twilight winced as her mind flooded with all sorts of disturbing thoughts about what Spike was doing and where he was doing it at
Bothered, but not wanting Spike to feel bad for having brought up such a personal question, Twilight asked, “What about it do you, uh, want to know?”
“Well…” Spike said as he began to move about nervously. “When I see, or, uh, think of Rarity, my, uh, ‘Dinky Dragon’ gets all tingly and I really, REALLY want to play with him.”
Twilight grew an expression of what could best be described as horror upon hearing this. Spike noticed and did his best to recover.
“I resist, of course!” he stated firmly. “However, it’s so hard. And, at times, I lie awake at night thinking about Rarity and my hands just go down beneath my covers and he feels all warm and hard and the more I touch him the happier I feel and...”
As Spike continued to talk, Twilight couldn’t help but notice how his ‘Dinky Dragon’ wasn’t looking so dinky anymore. This was certainly not something she wanted to see. Nor was it something she even wanted to think about when she was anywhere near, or around, Rarity. There was only one thing to do.
“SNAKE!” she cried out in horror as she leaped backwards.
“Snake?” gasped Spike as he fearfully dashed towards Twilight. "Where?"
Twilight was glad she snapped Spike out of his arousing thoughts. However, she didn’t want him to know that was why she cried out in alarm.
Spike looked all about in search of the serpent, but saw no signs of it.
“Where is it, Twilight?” he asked fearfully. "I don't see it!"
“Oh,” chuckled Twilight as she used her magic to pick up a scarf that had been lying off in a corner of the room. “Silly me. It was just this scarf that Rarity made for me.”
Spike sighed with relief upon knowing there was actually nothing to be afraid of. However, his relief soon turned to anxiety as he realized how he was the one that had forgotten to put that particular scarf away after having one of his 'Dinky Dragon' moments after having a Rarity, ice cream dream the other night.
Not wanting to rekindle the conversation, Twilight quickly put the scarf into one of her dresser drawers and stated, “Well, uh, got to go! I promised Pinkie Pie I'd help her out with the, umm, yeah! Keep an eye on things while I’m gone!”
Spike was at a loss for words as his friend bolted out the door. However, he was glad that Twilight didn't ask how that scarf got off in the corner like that.
“Oh, man,” he pouted as thoughts filled his mind of Rarity once more. He then turned his attention to the drawer Twilight had put the scarf into.
"Ooh," he pondered as he felt himself growing more tingly in his special place. "Perhaps I could-"
Spike interrupted himself as he remembered how much he really wanted to know why his 'Dinky Dragon' did what it did when he saw Rarity, thought of Rarity, or wore something made by Rarity.
“I know!” he exclaimed as he suddenly got a most brilliant idea.
The young dragon quickly ran to his desk and pulled out the necessary supplies to make out a letter.
“I bet the princess can help me!” he proclaimed as he began to write out his feelings and what they did to him. “After all, she’s the one who told me about my ‘Dinky Dragon’ in the first place!”
Spike spared no detail as he wrote his letter to Celestia before sending it off.
Later that day, he belched up what he knew had to be Celestia’s reply to all his questions. However, as he went to read it, Twilight returned and noticed her young assistant was in the process of reviewing a letter from her beloved teacher.
“Oh!” said Twilight with interest. “Is that a letter from the princess?”
Before Spike could say anything, Twilight used her magic to levitate the letter so both she and Spike could see it. However, what she read only made her remember why she had left earlier in the first place. Moreover, reading such intimate details about the male anatomy and how it works from the princess only added to her list of things she'd truly rather not have known. That, and the fact a train ticket was enclosed for Spike to travel to the Crystal Empire where Princess Celestia said that he and Shining Armor should share a 'Guy's Day' out together to further sort out what it was like to be a guy.
Author's Note
The goal of this story was to make the reader think about what it must be like for Spike to have grown up and lived with women all his life. It is also meant to bring up the question of how Spike would come to understand his 'Dragonhood' given such a life situation.
If this story got your mind thinking of the many possibilities, and awkward moments, Spike might have in trying to understand himself at a more intimate level, then I succeeded. If not, I apologize and hope you were at least able to get a laugh out of the situation in which this story creates.
