Discords Day Outby Serperior2ChaptersThe setupDaddy DiscordLets get it startedLets get this over withThe setupTo put it simply... Discord was beyond bored. Sure he could hear what was going on around him, but he couldn't see the ponies that came to gawk, he only had a nice view of a few pegasi positioning clouds for a small sun-shower somewhere off in the distance. It was so far away and the glare from the sun was so bad they appeared to be but dots. Why couldn't the Princess have given him maybe a book, and some very basic telekinesis at least. When one could only hear, and most ponies stayed away from him in the garden, that made for even less entertainment. "One could go positively mad from this," he thought drolly, "oh wait, I am mad!" he realized, doing his best to smirk, though his efforts were in vain. Even the ponies that came by didn't have anything to say. They just stared, or cowered, or scoffed. One morning a little colt lost in the maze even peed on him. Not that he minded of course, this was the closest to discord he would get for eons he figured. He snapped to attention as he heard heard hoof steps coming near. A visitor? At this time in the morning? What a... pleasant surprise. Well better make the best of it. As the clopping noise came closer he realized it sounded highly uneven in pattern. As though The pony nearing were limping, or stumbling, or maybe even both. Finally when they got close enough for Discord to see pony in the very, very far bottom of his peripheral, he saw it was a guard. He was grey, like the enchantment on the guards armor made them appear as. His eyes were still a vibrant blue under his helmet though, the markings on his armor identified his as a sergeant, and he was stone dead drunk! His language slurring and awkwardly pausing as he mumbled to himself, "I'll show that... biiiiuuuuug, poowerful, Dick-cord," chuckling at his own terrible pun he slowly came over to the statue. Turned around, and kicked it as hard as he could. Discord barely rocked at all, he didn't even feel the blow through his hard exterior. "Now this won't be as fun as I had hoped" he thought, "why cant I get somepony with a bit of kick in their hindquarters to cause chaos, even directed at me." The belligerent drunkard began removing his armor, piece by piece. The sun reflecting in Discords eyes repeatedly as the artificial golden exoskeleton came off. Finally after what seemed like years the pony was nude. He tried kicking the statue again. His efforts were more noticeable but still in vain. "I'llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, shuu you, old Iron Leg ain't scareded of nooooouuu garden deecor." The stallion tried again, and again, and again. But it seemed either he was too small, or Discord too large. Finally he began to wrestle with the top half of the statue. Climbing up the limbs to the wings and rocking forward and back, trying to build up enough momentum to make the statue eye to eye with the grass. He climbed up higher yet again, now on the head and doubled his efforts. He placed one hoof on Discords left horn, the goat one, and began pulling. As soon as the hoof came in contact with the magical appendage Discord could actually feel and hear the ponies thought processes and Neurol jumbles. It was a trick he had only tried once before, and he wasn't aware that it would even work when encased in stone by the elements. But it was still a golden opportunity. He lunged for the ponies mind, grappling with it only momentarily, pulling it into his prison, while simultaneously pushing into the ponies mind. And then... It all went black. Discord groaned. His head was full of red hot needles. Why did it have to be a drunk that belligerently attacked him? Oh right, because anypony else had sense enough not to. His chaos magic, very ironically, had a sort of instant nullification effect on alcohol in his system. It kept him from getting drunk but it didn’t skip the hangover, it just brought it about instantaneously and doubled its pain. And the moment he had inhabited the pony it negated all booze in his system. Making him sober but giving him worse headaches than any mortal pony could conceive. He lay there and shook for a few minutes until it abated slightly. He tried opening his eyes, the sun glared in his face and the migraine came back in full force. He slammed his eyes shut again and wished for it to go away. This was not what he had hoped for when he wanted to escape the confines of his stony prison. After a bit of time had passed, he tried again, same results, but this time he managed to power through it. He raised himself up onto his forehooves and haunch, and took note of his temporary form. His fur was a bright yellow that stung to look at almost as much as the sun, his mane was dark green with a vibrant pink streak running through it. “I suppose it could be worse, at least I’m not pink,” he mused. His cutey mark appeared to be a shield with a swirl of color in the center with all the colors of his palette. His build was on the heavy side, with two pegasus wings. “Those wings are so…Symmetrical. They’ll take some getting used to.” He reflected. “And my legs too, I’m usually a biped, and my less serpentine shape, and my tail being made of fur instead of flesh. This will be challenging.” Who ever thought getting a break from eternal boredom would involve so much effort? Testing his new legs, Discord stood up on all fours and attempted forward movement. It was not as difficult as he expected. He moved forward toward the statue of him very slowly. “One step at a time,” he mumbled under his breath. His voice had changed! That was something that he forgot would happen. Thus he jumped at the sound of his own voice, thinking there was somepony nearby. He sounded younger, almost like those “perfect stallions” that you could see in cheesy romance movies. After getting over the shock of his changed vocalization, he continued towards the stone effigy of his usual likeness. He tapped the statue with his hoof as though the pony trapped inside wouldn’t be paying very close attention to him anyway. “I must thank you very much for this chance for a little fun,” he remarked, “It gets ever so trite being in there. Oh no need to say you’re welcome, I know for a fact it would be excessively futile to do so.” He paused and looked at the terrified expression on the statue. It was his expression from being turned to stone, but it still resembled the emotions he guessed the pony was experiencing at the moment. “Don’t you worry young colt, the switch will reverse in twenty four hours and you’ll be back to harassing defenseless god beings, and drowning your sorrows or aggression in liquor in no time. For now just enjoy the view!” And with that he was off. Quickening his pace whenever he felt he could handle it. It would be an excellent day. After wandering aimlessly in the mazes for a time he decided that it was time to test his wings. He had nothing to worry about when it came to death. If he died he would simply be stuck in the body for the remaining time of the twenty four hours and then switch back to his usual body. Iron Hoof would go back to his body and die, and Discord would be just fine. No risk at all. He stretched open his wings, and started flapping them as hard as he could. He came up a bit lopsided but quickly corrected himself. After hovering for a spell, he started slowly flying out of the gardens towards the city. Time for some discord. Daddy DiscordOnce he was over Canerlot he slowly descended into the city. He landed near a fountain with two pegasi holding up a raincloud, which was of course where the water came from. He took a good long look and decided to bring them to life. He commanded them to animate. Nothing happened. He tried again this time putting a bit more effort into it. Still nothing. He planted his hooves spread apart and concentrated on them as hard as he could, scrunching up his brow in the process. A few bystanders had gathered, wondering what in Equestria this strange pegasus was attempting. Once he noticed he relaxed and after giving a moment of thought to his explanation he stated loudly, “and so you see fillies and gentlecolts, if you concentrate hard enough, even a pegasus can use a spell that makes a crowd gather, now I will just go collect those fifteen bits from my friend who dared me to attempt this amazing feet of will-bending magic!” Not many ponies found it amusing, most just smirked and walked away with their noses in the air. Typical upper class snobs. Still, the problem remained of why his magic hadn’t worked. He pondered on it for a moment, the last time he had done this spell he had retained his magic. His magic was slightly weaker of course, but it was still there. He continued to reflect on the different traits and rules of magic until he remembered something very important. He had inhabited a pegasus. The last time he had inhabited a pony’s body was when he had infected Starswirl the Bearded, who was a unicorn. So he still had the horn to focus his magic through, but pegasi lacked the appendage needed to produce spells. This day seemed less and less exciting every minute. It took only moments after this realization to remember his beloved daughter, Screwball. She appeared to be an earth pony, but she fell more along the lines of demidgod, being created directly by him. Godly asexual breeding could be in itself a form of chaos after all. She had impressive magical ability, despite her lack of a horn. She didn’t need one since she was not really a pony. She could definitely be of help in his ventures. It didn’t take long to get to the Everfree forest from Canterlot, maybe a half hour at most. He made absolute sure to stick his tongue out at Ponyville as he passed overhead, still making sure that nopony would actually see him, didn’t want an encounter with any of the bearers of harmony, whether or not he looked like himself. Once he located the cave from the safety of approximately one thousand feet he quickly descended to the mouth of the cavern, doing his best not to be exposed below the tree line for more than a few seconds, and galloped in full speed. Discord wouldn’t die from the monsters of the forest, but his body would. It wasn’t dark at all inside. There were multiple magical light sources scattered randomly all over the interior. There were multiple tapestries with magical paintings of him laughing and showing off his many chaotic art pieces he had created. He could still remember making them with his beloved. He hadn’t gotten much of a chance to add to her collection in his short respite from imprisonment, which he felt truly sorry for. He hoped this day out with his daughter could help to make up for that. Besides these meager décor there were some other additions that he didn’t remember. Several hundred feathers were haphazardly stuffed into a chipped glass vase, some pegasus feathers and some bird feathers, a pile of spools of twine lay sat in the corner, and some sheep wool hung from tree roots coming into the ceiling. She was obviously working on a crafts project of some sort. He was currently alone in the subterranean domicile, and he hoped she would return soon so they could begin their family misadventures. But for now he started to investigate into the next room. This room also showed evidence of creation. It appeared she had been making stuffed ponies out of the materials in the previous room. Not too shabby he had to admit. They had faded brown fabric sides; the fabric was coarse but obviously professionally made. Limbs were haphazardly sewn on as separate premade pieces. It appeared these stringy joints wouldn’t hold if too much force were exerted upon them. Some were torn up and scattered about and some were intact, they all seemed to be identical in every way except for the color of the buttons they had for eyes, which no two ponies had the same combination of. He picked up a green and blue eyed pony, and it moved! It had jerked its head up and looked at him! He quickly dropped it like it was hot. He wasn’t scared of it; he just wasn’t expecting it to be alive. Screwball had been practicing her come to life spell it seemed. Once it hit the floor the very little pony got up and started making odd squeaking sounds. After a few seconds of it a few other intact ones got up and did the same. Now a small chorus of small ponies was chirping and squealing away. It was amusing, but when they kept it up for a few minutes he became uneasy. Why were his daughters creations making these sounds? Were they even his daughter’s creations? Of course they were he reminded himself, who else would have such a disorderly home with such ugly creations doing things that made no sense? The apple didn’t fall far from the tree. “Who are you?!” a voice rang out behind Discord just as a magical bubble appeared around him. He turned and looked at her, she looked the same, pink fur, purple and white mane and tail, and purple swirls for pupils. After a moment she asked again “who are you?” Once he had collected himself he answered back, “it’s me honey. Daddy Discord is back.” He gave a nervous grin. “And if you’re wondering about the body, it’s just some random pony that was dumb enough to touch my goat horn, and I switched bodies.” Screwball looked absolutely delighted, and then her face moved into a more angry expression. “Do you expect me to believe that?” Even more things Discord hadn’t thought out. “Why yes, ask me anything that only I would know.” Not the most original way to convince someone of your identity, but it worked. Screwball pondered for a moment and then asked, “How did you create me?” This was a simple question, definitely something only he would know, but he had never told Screwball before. That’s what these pony dolls are for, he realized. She’s trying to create a daughter of her own, but she doesn’t know how. He smiled, “We both know I’ve never told you that before, and it was a good try at getting information that I might not have given you for personal reasons, but lucky for you, I suppose if I want to be able to get some time with my daughter doing what I might not have another chance to do for eons, I don’t have a choice.” She leaned in closer, eager to glean the information from him. “I created you from dolls similar to these, and gave you approximately a twentieth of my magical power, it was two thousand years ago, I don’t remember all the details. It’s too bad though, it would appear that you are trying to replicate it.” She reflected the answer for a moment, and then grabbed a notebook down from a shelf, scribbled a few quick notes in it, and put it away, in a different place than before of course. She looked back at him, disappointment apparent in her expression. “Since you knew you never told me, I’ll accept that answer. Now what’s this about spending some time with me?” It was just what discord had been waiting for. “I don’t have the same powers as I did when possessing Starswirl the Bearded. I was hoping you could help me seed some discord.” She looked absolutely ecstatic as he said it. She lowered the shield, galloped up to him and embraced him in a vice like hug. She continued to suffocate him for a few moments, and then released him to allow his respiration again. “Before we go out, we’ll both need disguises,” she stated, “I would like to continue my existence pitchfork free, I enjoy chaos, but not directed towards me. And yes it is hypocritical but that is a form of chaos in itself if you ask me.” “Ok but why would I need a disguise too?” he questioned. “Because your pupils are highly dilated, it looks as though you just smoked some mare-owanna, and it was really good.” Discord had completely forgotten that his pupils dilated when possessing a body. “Oh of course! How could I have forgotten? Do you have something to cover over my eyes?” “Here you go,” she replied, using a simple summoning spell. “These should do.” “Hmm…” She looked him over once he had them on. “How about a little something to go with it?” Using the same spell, she summoned a bowtie, and a black vest. “Put these on with it.” He did as she asked, and she levitated a mirror out of the next room. “What do you think?” “I think I look rather… snazzy.” He said, while admiring himself in the mirror. “Turmoil has never looked so stylish.” Lets get it startedOnce Screwball had set herself up in her usual disguise, a rather small, dark blue coated pegasus with amber eyes, a cutie-mark with a ruler with a red mark at the two inches mark, and a mane with a lighter hew of blue than the coat with black streaks braided into a ponytail, pun very much intended, they set out to the nearest town, Ponyville. It was a short flight, and on the way Discord, alias name Ironhoof, gave a few ideas for discord in the town. Screwball, alias name Shortstop, didn’t have as much power as Discord usually did, so their options were very limited. Discord suggested something big, like a fire, or a building being turned upside down. He wanted to cause as much damage as possible in the hours he had left. Screw wanted something more subtle, maybe some minor pranks on ponies that would evoke more giggles from them than maniacal laughter. They debated over the points briefly, and decided to try and fit both into his schedule. The minor pranks first, and then the real damage. The order was rather obvious, as it would be much harder to prank ponies that were already in fear, despair, and desperation. They would probably be focusing on the bigger stuff. Landing down in the market area of Ponyville, Discord surveyed his surroundings. Applejack, the Element of Honesty, was selling apples with what could only be her younger sister. There was a stand with cherries and a pink earth pony mare with a yellow mane selling them, a carrot stand with another earth pony mare with a yellow coat and an orange mane he recognized as Carrottop, and a pale yellowy-tan earth pony stallion with a baby-blue mane selling grapes out of a cart. “A good place to start?” he questioned under his breath. “As good as any” she replied. She looked at the grapes, and slowly, one by one, with a little pop and flash for effect, they began to quickly turn into raisings, accelerating their pace of transformation until they were all shriveled. The stallion looked horrified; he reared up on his hind legs and screamed, “My grapes! What happened?!” All the other ponies in the square also looked puzzled, though their reactions were much more temperate. Applejack came over and took a closer inspection of the shape-shifting delectable’s. “Sugarcube, ah think ya’ need tuh’ just calm down, and change the writin’on yer’ sign. Think of it this way. Raisins are worth more than grapes, so this is a good thing aint it?” The pony gulped, took another glance at the raisins, and sighed. “Yes, I suppose so, thank you Miss. Probably just some prankster unicorn anyway.” Applejack just gave a nod and trotted back to her stand while the grape seller got out a paintbrush and “fixed” his sign. “Oh darn,” Shortstop/Screwball sighed. “I had hoped it would cause a bigger panic. And I didn’t realize raisins were worth more than grapes. I don’t like raisins so I assumed that would mean they are worth less.” “Oh don’t worry darling, the look on his face before taking advantage of it was still priceless!” Discord stated. “I think we should direct something at that ‘voice of reason’, Applejack, next. And something bigger too.” Upon agreeing with her they looked for a good prank to direct at the farm-pony. They stood and watched for a few minutes, until a big red stallion with an apple half came up and took control of the stall from the element bearer. Applejack tipped her hat and began trotting down the street away from the marketplace. They quickly followed. They had followed her for about half an hour before they saw their chance. As she got to her barn, Discord stopped and began whispering in Screwballs ear. Applejack was almost home. She had had a long day at the stall selling apples, but there hadn’t exactly been a throng of ponies trying to buy her fruits. She had made about fifteen bits overall. Not nearly enough. They needed all the money they could get to repaint the barn. Granny was even trying to talk her into getting a cheaper paint that wasn’t the right color. At first the stubborn mare wouldn’t hear of it, but she was quickly becoming less averse to the idea. They had looked at various shades of green, blue, and even- ugh- pink. She sighed as she neared the shabby and faded looking barn, except, it wasn’t shabby looking. It was painted with a vibrant rainbow! It wrapped all the way around the barn in waves. And the corner pillars were bright pink! The same pink as Pinkie’s mane. The roof was a purple that looked like Raritie’s mane. She was about to throw a fit, but then she remembered the problem she had been pondering on her way there. Discord and Screwball watched in silence from their concealed position in the trees. They had hoped for her to get mad and blame Rainbowdash for the vandalism. Unfortunately, Applejack blamed Rainbowdash, but she didn’t consider it to be vandalism. She was hooting and hollering in joy for Granny Smith, whoever that was, to come out and see what had happened. When the elderly mare came out and saw the state of the barn she and her granddaughter began dancing together right in front of it. “We can’t seem to do anything right. Ugh.” Screwball scowled at the pair of earth ponies. Her disguise shimmered for a second and went back to her original coloring. “Maybe we need to do something on a higher level, how about we make it collapse?” “I… Guess that could work.” “Oh granny, this is fantastic!.” The newly arrived Applebloom exclaimed with glee. “The CMC was plannin on doin this, but not anything as fancy! Who do ya reckon done it for us?” “Ah dunno, but whoever it is….” CREAK!!! The barn promptly fell over to one side, collapsing under its own weight and crushing all their possessions inside. For a moment, all they could do was gawk. “Ah was in dere just a moment ago…” Granny Smith said with disbelief. “Wha… What happened?” It was then, that they heard the laughing and giggling. “That was so funny!” “Oh I know, I know.” “We should’ve done that to begin with!” “Well, darling, I don’t usually kill, if we had done that first it would have killed her grandmother inside.” “But it’s no fun only going partway.” “I’m afraid I must disagree, I cause misery and mayhem, but it is wrong to kill either way.” “Ah don’t know who you two are, and ahm glad you can show restraint, but yer still goin to pay for this,” said a third voice. Startled, the two pseudo-pegasi looked up the short hill to see a looming orange figure above them, and from her face they could tell she wasn’t happy. “Teleport!” Yelled discod. In a flash of light, they were suddenly all the way on the other side of the farm. They had forgotten to stay quiet after the prank, and it would cost them dearly. “IT TOOK ME DAYS TO CREATE THIS DISGUISE!!!” Yelled Shortstop. “I CAN’T MAKE ANOTHER RIGHT NOW! WE CAN’T EVEN KEEP PRANKING NOW BECAUSE THEY’RE GOING TO BE LOOKING FOR US.” “Well I didn’t do all the laughing myself,” grumbled discord. Screwball/Shortstop was fuming after the incident. They had rushed out of town as fast as they could and got back to their little cave, where they began arguing over the blame. Discord believed the blame was equal, since they both laughed, but Screwball blamed the former since it was his idea to destroy the barn. They continued in their debate for a time until they finally decided to agree to disagree, and move forwards toward the big stuff. “Do you know that spell I use for cotton candy clouds and chocolate milk rain?” Twilightsparkle was having a lovely day. She had finished re-re-re-re-reorganizing her library, switching from alphabetical order of the title, to the date of publication, to first letter of the authors first name, to first letter of the authors last name, to first letter of the authors middle name. Spike was exhausted from all the running around, and Twighlight was settling down to do some studying on the history of the Crystal Empire. She had to place a special order from the library of the said kingdom since almost all records of it had been wiped from Equestria in the previous thousand years. “Lets see… should I start with founding of The empire, or with traditions and culture of The Empire?” “I don’t know Twilight, just try not to keep me awake, why is it that I always have to sleep when it’s convenient for you but never when it’s convenient for me?” “Hmm… that’s a good question, ill have to do a research report on the psychology and patterns I’ve shown while raising you wont I?” “Groan.” It was then that she heard the light tap of rain on the tree house. “That’s odd, the pegasi were supposed to be scheduling the rainstorm for tomorrow, not today… GASP!!!” The rain running down the side of the window wasn’t water, it was chocolate milk! An anomaly she had only ever seen once before. “Spike!! Get a pen and paper, quick!” “Wha?” “Chocolate milk rain, chocolate milk rain!” With that spike was up immediately grabbing a pen and paper off the desk and standing at attention. Dear princess celestia, It is with great dread that I inform you that Ponyville is currently experiencing a weather anomaly that I have ever only heard of or seen during Discord’s brief rain over Equestria, chocolate milk rain. It is imperative that you bring The Elements of Harmony immediately to Ponyville so we may deal with the threat before he can steal said elements again and take control while we are defenseless. “Okay send.” The letter went away with a green cloud. They waited several minutes, during this time Twilight nervously tapped her hoof on the floor. She jumped when the Princess’s reply came. Dear Twilight While this is a major sign of Discords return, I am afraid there must be another explanation. Discord is still in the gardens. Please investigate further, you are right, this is an anomaly only heard of during Discord’s reign. The only lead I can offer is that discord has a daughter, Screwball, she is a pink and purple earth pony with swirls for eyes and imbued with special powers that go further than even the most skilled of unicorns. I believe this may be the explanation but I cannot be sure. I am sending you the elements via carriage. “Discord had a daughter?” Spike questioned. “I’d never heard about it before either. Although the description she gave is identical to a pony I saw going around in Ponyville pulling pranks during the time I was… grey.” “So we just have to find her and make her stop.” “She probably knows to avoid us, and if she’s more powerful than any unicorn she could easily make a disguise.” She moaned. “TWILIGHT!” “Yes Applejack, don’t worry I already sent Princess Celestia a letter about the chocolate rain, it isn’t Discord, he’s still in the Canterlot gardens, but the Princess believes it could be his daughter, Screwball. The elements are on their way already.” “Well that’s good an all, but before the rain started a bunch of funny things happened around town I think may be related to it. Earlier in the market the grapes at the grape cart all turned into raisins, and mah barn randomly got painted in a rainbow, and then it collapsed. There were these two pegasi in the trees who were laughin bout it as though it were funny, and they teleported away when I saw em.” “So that must mean she IS using a disguise, but who’s the other pegasus?” Spike exclaimed rather obviously. “I don’t know Spike, lets mail the Princess again, describe both for us Applejack.” Dear Princess Celestia Applejack saw a pair of pegasi on her farm causing mischief briefly before the rain began. One was a dark blue mare, with a black and blue mane. The other was a bright yellow stallion with a green and pink mane, he was wearing a suit and sunglasses. Do either of these sound familiar? A couple minutes later: Dear Twilightsparkle , The former of the two does not sound familiar, and could be a minion of Screwball, or her in disguise. The latter sounds like one of my guards, who did not show up today for duty, except, he absolutely detested formal attire and would rather (and I am quoting here) “burn in the fires of Tartarus before he put on clothes.” Spike giggled to himself at the last part. “I didn’t know the Princess knew her guards so well.” “He could just be one that has come to her attention due to statements like that.” Just then the door slammed open and Rainbowdash came charging in. “Twili…” “Yes Rainbow, chocolate rain, cotton candy clouds, already mailed princess, elements on the way, not Discord, likely his daughter.” “Oh… you’re faster than I thought.” Lets get this over withDiscord and Screwball stood on the top of a cotton-candy cloud overlooking Ponyville, from there they could see all the ponies in town running in fear, darting in between the buildings and dodging the others in the mob that was trying to get indoors. “I wonder if they remember me.” “Oh I don’t think so,” Screwball replied sarcastically. He then spied a small carriage pulled by two guard pegasi coming from Canterlot. He figured that the bookworm Twilight had written to her precious princess to request the Elements of Harmony to defeat him, again. He knew they wouldn’t recognize him unless he came out he knew though. Screwball however, if the princess had remembered her they might be looking for her. “How much concentration does your disguise take up?” he asked. “I can cast simple magic with it on, but spells like this I take it off beforehoof.” “Try to avoid larger spells for a while, I believe that carriage holds the Elements, and if Celestia checks the garden she’ll see I’m still there. If she remembers you, they might be looking for you.” “Nothing I hadn’t figured out myself.” It then landed, and the two pegasi began unloading their cargo and taking it up to the door of the library. “Can you summon some lightning?” “Not without losing the disguise, and it wouldn’t feel good to fall off a cloud.” “Fair enough, how about I hold you?” “Oh right, because that wouldn’t be weird at all.” “Fine, how about you yank it out of their grasp and fling it across town.” “That could work.” Twilight rushed to the door. The Elements were finally here, and they could take care of the problem. Finally. The rest of her friends had shown up and she explained the situation another three times. Since Discord himself wasn’t out causing trouble Pinkie Pie was fairly impartial to the ordeal, and she just sat outside with her mouth hanging open drinking up all the rain-milk she could. Rarity had a fairly stylish raincoat on that was, of course, encrusted with lapis lazuli gems to “match the rain of course.” Rainbow was unhappy because she couldn’t fly in these conditions since her feathers didn’t repel milk like they did water. Fluttershy was doing her best not to cry from the experience of her thinking Discord was back. And finally Applejack was just rinsing the milk off her Stetson in the kitchen sink. Just as Twilight opened the door a magic aura appeared around the chest with the elements and it was whisked straight up into the air, where it landed on a cloud and stayed there until it suddenly flew off of it and landed somewhere on the other side of Ponyville. Both the guards simply gawked and rushed inside as a bolt of lightning came down and left a patch of ground covered in fur instead of grass. “Rainbowdash!” “Yeah?” “What are you doing upstairs?” “Uh… Reading. What else would I do in a library.” She smirked, although she was glad her racer friend had finally gotten into more things than just Daring Do, it could get irritating sometimes since she just read whenever she felt like it and ignored whether it was a good time or not. “Stop reading your Marevel comics and get down here!” “I’m not even reading that,” she announced as she came down the stairs. “I was reading…” “Doesn’t matter, the Elements just flew all the way to the other side of town and we need you to go get them.” “I can’t fly in this weather, my wings don’t repel chocolate milk, sorry.” Applejack cut in then, “Dagnabbit, wer’e gonna have tuh’ go all the way across town to get em? Who knows what could happen while were doin that.” “Applejack is right, but we don’t really have a choice do we?” Stated rarity. Luckily for them, nothing big happened during their trek across Ponyville to reclaim the elements. They found them undamaged inside Timeturners house. “I recognized them from when you defeated discord the first time so I brought them inside for you.” He said slightly nervously. They all put on their respective elements, and set off. They had no plan for finding the cause of the rain, other than looking for random chaotic events throughout town and paying close attention for the ponies that Applejack had described. It seemed to be useless, they had caught a few brief glimpses, but they couldn’t charge up the elements and hit them in time before they flew away. Which Rainbowdash was very chagrined about. “How come they can fly in this rain but I can’t?” “Well they obviously have a spell preventing it from soaking them, I don’t know why Twilight would just administer one to Rainbow though, I’d expect you to know something that simple Twilight,” Rarity said with a bit of contempt and confusion. Upon this Twilight immediately and forcefully face-hooved. “How could I have forgotten that?! Your right rarity, I should’ve done that hours ago! Stay still Rainbowdash.” Her horn glowed softly for a few seconds, and suddenly Rainbowdash was completely dry. All the raindrops around her simply disappeared when the came close, and reappeared under her. “Aw yeah.” She said while putting on a cocky grin. “C..Could you put the spell on me too Twilight, if it isn’t too much trouble I mean…” Fluttershy said quietly under her breath. Before Twilight could finish on Flutters, Rainbow was already off and searching for the two suspects of the chaos going on around them. After a minute of circling she suddenly made a sharp turn and went straight to the ground. After a second or two they heard a loud crash. “Groooooaaaan…” Discord opened his eyes, in front of him was a very angry looking cyan pegasus, she was only a few inches from his face, he couldn’t help notice she was also wearing her element of harmony. After a second or two of him staring fearfully into her pink eyes she raised a hoof and brought it down on his head, making a loud crack. Suddenly, he was staring at a cloudless sky, devoid of the natural or the sugary type. He couldn’t move, and he heard commotion behind him. He couldn’t see anything, but he could hear Celestia giving instructions, and clanking armor, suddenly there was a loud thud, of stone hitting dirt. After a second it sounded as though they were dragging it towards him. He felt something bump up against his pedestal, and then being lifted onto it. “Hi daddy” said a voice in his head. “Hello sweetheart.” “Looks like we’re going to be spending a bunch more time together aren’t we.” “We sure are, we sure are.”
The setupTo put it simply... Discord was beyond bored. Sure he could hear what was going on around him, but he couldn't see the ponies that came to gawk, he only had a nice view of a few pegasi positioning clouds for a small sun-shower somewhere off in the distance. It was so far away and the glare from the sun was so bad they appeared to be but dots. Why couldn't the Princess have given him maybe a book, and some very basic telekinesis at least. When one could only hear, and most ponies stayed away from him in the garden, that made for even less entertainment. "One could go positively mad from this," he thought drolly, "oh wait, I am mad!" he realized, doing his best to smirk, though his efforts were in vain. Even the ponies that came by didn't have anything to say. They just stared, or cowered, or scoffed. One morning a little colt lost in the maze even peed on him. Not that he minded of course, this was the closest to discord he would get for eons he figured. He snapped to attention as he heard heard hoof steps coming near. A visitor? At this time in the morning? What a... pleasant surprise. Well better make the best of it. As the clopping noise came closer he realized it sounded highly uneven in pattern. As though The pony nearing were limping, or stumbling, or maybe even both. Finally when they got close enough for Discord to see pony in the very, very far bottom of his peripheral, he saw it was a guard. He was grey, like the enchantment on the guards armor made them appear as. His eyes were still a vibrant blue under his helmet though, the markings on his armor identified his as a sergeant, and he was stone dead drunk! His language slurring and awkwardly pausing as he mumbled to himself, "I'll show that... biiiiuuuuug, poowerful, Dick-cord," chuckling at his own terrible pun he slowly came over to the statue. Turned around, and kicked it as hard as he could. Discord barely rocked at all, he didn't even feel the blow through his hard exterior. "Now this won't be as fun as I had hoped" he thought, "why cant I get somepony with a bit of kick in their hindquarters to cause chaos, even directed at me." The belligerent drunkard began removing his armor, piece by piece. The sun reflecting in Discords eyes repeatedly as the artificial golden exoskeleton came off. Finally after what seemed like years the pony was nude. He tried kicking the statue again. His efforts were more noticeable but still in vain. "I'llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, shuu you, old Iron Leg ain't scareded of nooooouuu garden deecor." The stallion tried again, and again, and again. But it seemed either he was too small, or Discord too large. Finally he began to wrestle with the top half of the statue. Climbing up the limbs to the wings and rocking forward and back, trying to build up enough momentum to make the statue eye to eye with the grass. He climbed up higher yet again, now on the head and doubled his efforts. He placed one hoof on Discords left horn, the goat one, and began pulling. As soon as the hoof came in contact with the magical appendage Discord could actually feel and hear the ponies thought processes and Neurol jumbles. It was a trick he had only tried once before, and he wasn't aware that it would even work when encased in stone by the elements. But it was still a golden opportunity. He lunged for the ponies mind, grappling with it only momentarily, pulling it into his prison, while simultaneously pushing into the ponies mind. And then... It all went black. Discord groaned. His head was full of red hot needles. Why did it have to be a drunk that belligerently attacked him? Oh right, because anypony else had sense enough not to. His chaos magic, very ironically, had a sort of instant nullification effect on alcohol in his system. It kept him from getting drunk but it didn’t skip the hangover, it just brought it about instantaneously and doubled its pain. And the moment he had inhabited the pony it negated all booze in his system. Making him sober but giving him worse headaches than any mortal pony could conceive. He lay there and shook for a few minutes until it abated slightly. He tried opening his eyes, the sun glared in his face and the migraine came back in full force. He slammed his eyes shut again and wished for it to go away. This was not what he had hoped for when he wanted to escape the confines of his stony prison. After a bit of time had passed, he tried again, same results, but this time he managed to power through it. He raised himself up onto his forehooves and haunch, and took note of his temporary form. His fur was a bright yellow that stung to look at almost as much as the sun, his mane was dark green with a vibrant pink streak running through it. “I suppose it could be worse, at least I’m not pink,” he mused. His cutey mark appeared to be a shield with a swirl of color in the center with all the colors of his palette. His build was on the heavy side, with two pegasus wings. “Those wings are so…Symmetrical. They’ll take some getting used to.” He reflected. “And my legs too, I’m usually a biped, and my less serpentine shape, and my tail being made of fur instead of flesh. This will be challenging.” Who ever thought getting a break from eternal boredom would involve so much effort? Testing his new legs, Discord stood up on all fours and attempted forward movement. It was not as difficult as he expected. He moved forward toward the statue of him very slowly. “One step at a time,” he mumbled under his breath. His voice had changed! That was something that he forgot would happen. Thus he jumped at the sound of his own voice, thinking there was somepony nearby. He sounded younger, almost like those “perfect stallions” that you could see in cheesy romance movies. After getting over the shock of his changed vocalization, he continued towards the stone effigy of his usual likeness. He tapped the statue with his hoof as though the pony trapped inside wouldn’t be paying very close attention to him anyway. “I must thank you very much for this chance for a little fun,” he remarked, “It gets ever so trite being in there. Oh no need to say you’re welcome, I know for a fact it would be excessively futile to do so.” He paused and looked at the terrified expression on the statue. It was his expression from being turned to stone, but it still resembled the emotions he guessed the pony was experiencing at the moment. “Don’t you worry young colt, the switch will reverse in twenty four hours and you’ll be back to harassing defenseless god beings, and drowning your sorrows or aggression in liquor in no time. For now just enjoy the view!” And with that he was off. Quickening his pace whenever he felt he could handle it. It would be an excellent day. After wandering aimlessly in the mazes for a time he decided that it was time to test his wings. He had nothing to worry about when it came to death. If he died he would simply be stuck in the body for the remaining time of the twenty four hours and then switch back to his usual body. Iron Hoof would go back to his body and die, and Discord would be just fine. No risk at all. He stretched open his wings, and started flapping them as hard as he could. He came up a bit lopsided but quickly corrected himself. After hovering for a spell, he started slowly flying out of the gardens towards the city. Time for some discord.
Daddy DiscordOnce he was over Canerlot he slowly descended into the city. He landed near a fountain with two pegasi holding up a raincloud, which was of course where the water came from. He took a good long look and decided to bring them to life. He commanded them to animate. Nothing happened. He tried again this time putting a bit more effort into it. Still nothing. He planted his hooves spread apart and concentrated on them as hard as he could, scrunching up his brow in the process. A few bystanders had gathered, wondering what in Equestria this strange pegasus was attempting. Once he noticed he relaxed and after giving a moment of thought to his explanation he stated loudly, “and so you see fillies and gentlecolts, if you concentrate hard enough, even a pegasus can use a spell that makes a crowd gather, now I will just go collect those fifteen bits from my friend who dared me to attempt this amazing feet of will-bending magic!” Not many ponies found it amusing, most just smirked and walked away with their noses in the air. Typical upper class snobs. Still, the problem remained of why his magic hadn’t worked. He pondered on it for a moment, the last time he had done this spell he had retained his magic. His magic was slightly weaker of course, but it was still there. He continued to reflect on the different traits and rules of magic until he remembered something very important. He had inhabited a pegasus. The last time he had inhabited a pony’s body was when he had infected Starswirl the Bearded, who was a unicorn. So he still had the horn to focus his magic through, but pegasi lacked the appendage needed to produce spells. This day seemed less and less exciting every minute. It took only moments after this realization to remember his beloved daughter, Screwball. She appeared to be an earth pony, but she fell more along the lines of demidgod, being created directly by him. Godly asexual breeding could be in itself a form of chaos after all. She had impressive magical ability, despite her lack of a horn. She didn’t need one since she was not really a pony. She could definitely be of help in his ventures. It didn’t take long to get to the Everfree forest from Canterlot, maybe a half hour at most. He made absolute sure to stick his tongue out at Ponyville as he passed overhead, still making sure that nopony would actually see him, didn’t want an encounter with any of the bearers of harmony, whether or not he looked like himself. Once he located the cave from the safety of approximately one thousand feet he quickly descended to the mouth of the cavern, doing his best not to be exposed below the tree line for more than a few seconds, and galloped in full speed. Discord wouldn’t die from the monsters of the forest, but his body would. It wasn’t dark at all inside. There were multiple magical light sources scattered randomly all over the interior. There were multiple tapestries with magical paintings of him laughing and showing off his many chaotic art pieces he had created. He could still remember making them with his beloved. He hadn’t gotten much of a chance to add to her collection in his short respite from imprisonment, which he felt truly sorry for. He hoped this day out with his daughter could help to make up for that. Besides these meager décor there were some other additions that he didn’t remember. Several hundred feathers were haphazardly stuffed into a chipped glass vase, some pegasus feathers and some bird feathers, a pile of spools of twine lay sat in the corner, and some sheep wool hung from tree roots coming into the ceiling. She was obviously working on a crafts project of some sort. He was currently alone in the subterranean domicile, and he hoped she would return soon so they could begin their family misadventures. But for now he started to investigate into the next room. This room also showed evidence of creation. It appeared she had been making stuffed ponies out of the materials in the previous room. Not too shabby he had to admit. They had faded brown fabric sides; the fabric was coarse but obviously professionally made. Limbs were haphazardly sewn on as separate premade pieces. It appeared these stringy joints wouldn’t hold if too much force were exerted upon them. Some were torn up and scattered about and some were intact, they all seemed to be identical in every way except for the color of the buttons they had for eyes, which no two ponies had the same combination of. He picked up a green and blue eyed pony, and it moved! It had jerked its head up and looked at him! He quickly dropped it like it was hot. He wasn’t scared of it; he just wasn’t expecting it to be alive. Screwball had been practicing her come to life spell it seemed. Once it hit the floor the very little pony got up and started making odd squeaking sounds. After a few seconds of it a few other intact ones got up and did the same. Now a small chorus of small ponies was chirping and squealing away. It was amusing, but when they kept it up for a few minutes he became uneasy. Why were his daughters creations making these sounds? Were they even his daughter’s creations? Of course they were he reminded himself, who else would have such a disorderly home with such ugly creations doing things that made no sense? The apple didn’t fall far from the tree. “Who are you?!” a voice rang out behind Discord just as a magical bubble appeared around him. He turned and looked at her, she looked the same, pink fur, purple and white mane and tail, and purple swirls for pupils. After a moment she asked again “who are you?” Once he had collected himself he answered back, “it’s me honey. Daddy Discord is back.” He gave a nervous grin. “And if you’re wondering about the body, it’s just some random pony that was dumb enough to touch my goat horn, and I switched bodies.” Screwball looked absolutely delighted, and then her face moved into a more angry expression. “Do you expect me to believe that?” Even more things Discord hadn’t thought out. “Why yes, ask me anything that only I would know.” Not the most original way to convince someone of your identity, but it worked. Screwball pondered for a moment and then asked, “How did you create me?” This was a simple question, definitely something only he would know, but he had never told Screwball before. That’s what these pony dolls are for, he realized. She’s trying to create a daughter of her own, but she doesn’t know how. He smiled, “We both know I’ve never told you that before, and it was a good try at getting information that I might not have given you for personal reasons, but lucky for you, I suppose if I want to be able to get some time with my daughter doing what I might not have another chance to do for eons, I don’t have a choice.” She leaned in closer, eager to glean the information from him. “I created you from dolls similar to these, and gave you approximately a twentieth of my magical power, it was two thousand years ago, I don’t remember all the details. It’s too bad though, it would appear that you are trying to replicate it.” She reflected the answer for a moment, and then grabbed a notebook down from a shelf, scribbled a few quick notes in it, and put it away, in a different place than before of course. She looked back at him, disappointment apparent in her expression. “Since you knew you never told me, I’ll accept that answer. Now what’s this about spending some time with me?” It was just what discord had been waiting for. “I don’t have the same powers as I did when possessing Starswirl the Bearded. I was hoping you could help me seed some discord.” She looked absolutely ecstatic as he said it. She lowered the shield, galloped up to him and embraced him in a vice like hug. She continued to suffocate him for a few moments, and then released him to allow his respiration again. “Before we go out, we’ll both need disguises,” she stated, “I would like to continue my existence pitchfork free, I enjoy chaos, but not directed towards me. And yes it is hypocritical but that is a form of chaos in itself if you ask me.” “Ok but why would I need a disguise too?” he questioned. “Because your pupils are highly dilated, it looks as though you just smoked some mare-owanna, and it was really good.” Discord had completely forgotten that his pupils dilated when possessing a body. “Oh of course! How could I have forgotten? Do you have something to cover over my eyes?” “Here you go,” she replied, using a simple summoning spell. “These should do.” “Hmm…” She looked him over once he had them on. “How about a little something to go with it?” Using the same spell, she summoned a bowtie, and a black vest. “Put these on with it.” He did as she asked, and she levitated a mirror out of the next room. “What do you think?” “I think I look rather… snazzy.” He said, while admiring himself in the mirror. “Turmoil has never looked so stylish.”
Lets get it startedOnce Screwball had set herself up in her usual disguise, a rather small, dark blue coated pegasus with amber eyes, a cutie-mark with a ruler with a red mark at the two inches mark, and a mane with a lighter hew of blue than the coat with black streaks braided into a ponytail, pun very much intended, they set out to the nearest town, Ponyville. It was a short flight, and on the way Discord, alias name Ironhoof, gave a few ideas for discord in the town. Screwball, alias name Shortstop, didn’t have as much power as Discord usually did, so their options were very limited. Discord suggested something big, like a fire, or a building being turned upside down. He wanted to cause as much damage as possible in the hours he had left. Screw wanted something more subtle, maybe some minor pranks on ponies that would evoke more giggles from them than maniacal laughter. They debated over the points briefly, and decided to try and fit both into his schedule. The minor pranks first, and then the real damage. The order was rather obvious, as it would be much harder to prank ponies that were already in fear, despair, and desperation. They would probably be focusing on the bigger stuff. Landing down in the market area of Ponyville, Discord surveyed his surroundings. Applejack, the Element of Honesty, was selling apples with what could only be her younger sister. There was a stand with cherries and a pink earth pony mare with a yellow mane selling them, a carrot stand with another earth pony mare with a yellow coat and an orange mane he recognized as Carrottop, and a pale yellowy-tan earth pony stallion with a baby-blue mane selling grapes out of a cart. “A good place to start?” he questioned under his breath. “As good as any” she replied. She looked at the grapes, and slowly, one by one, with a little pop and flash for effect, they began to quickly turn into raisings, accelerating their pace of transformation until they were all shriveled. The stallion looked horrified; he reared up on his hind legs and screamed, “My grapes! What happened?!” All the other ponies in the square also looked puzzled, though their reactions were much more temperate. Applejack came over and took a closer inspection of the shape-shifting delectable’s. “Sugarcube, ah think ya’ need tuh’ just calm down, and change the writin’on yer’ sign. Think of it this way. Raisins are worth more than grapes, so this is a good thing aint it?” The pony gulped, took another glance at the raisins, and sighed. “Yes, I suppose so, thank you Miss. Probably just some prankster unicorn anyway.” Applejack just gave a nod and trotted back to her stand while the grape seller got out a paintbrush and “fixed” his sign. “Oh darn,” Shortstop/Screwball sighed. “I had hoped it would cause a bigger panic. And I didn’t realize raisins were worth more than grapes. I don’t like raisins so I assumed that would mean they are worth less.” “Oh don’t worry darling, the look on his face before taking advantage of it was still priceless!” Discord stated. “I think we should direct something at that ‘voice of reason’, Applejack, next. And something bigger too.” Upon agreeing with her they looked for a good prank to direct at the farm-pony. They stood and watched for a few minutes, until a big red stallion with an apple half came up and took control of the stall from the element bearer. Applejack tipped her hat and began trotting down the street away from the marketplace. They quickly followed. They had followed her for about half an hour before they saw their chance. As she got to her barn, Discord stopped and began whispering in Screwballs ear. Applejack was almost home. She had had a long day at the stall selling apples, but there hadn’t exactly been a throng of ponies trying to buy her fruits. She had made about fifteen bits overall. Not nearly enough. They needed all the money they could get to repaint the barn. Granny was even trying to talk her into getting a cheaper paint that wasn’t the right color. At first the stubborn mare wouldn’t hear of it, but she was quickly becoming less averse to the idea. They had looked at various shades of green, blue, and even- ugh- pink. She sighed as she neared the shabby and faded looking barn, except, it wasn’t shabby looking. It was painted with a vibrant rainbow! It wrapped all the way around the barn in waves. And the corner pillars were bright pink! The same pink as Pinkie’s mane. The roof was a purple that looked like Raritie’s mane. She was about to throw a fit, but then she remembered the problem she had been pondering on her way there. Discord and Screwball watched in silence from their concealed position in the trees. They had hoped for her to get mad and blame Rainbowdash for the vandalism. Unfortunately, Applejack blamed Rainbowdash, but she didn’t consider it to be vandalism. She was hooting and hollering in joy for Granny Smith, whoever that was, to come out and see what had happened. When the elderly mare came out and saw the state of the barn she and her granddaughter began dancing together right in front of it. “We can’t seem to do anything right. Ugh.” Screwball scowled at the pair of earth ponies. Her disguise shimmered for a second and went back to her original coloring. “Maybe we need to do something on a higher level, how about we make it collapse?” “I… Guess that could work.” “Oh granny, this is fantastic!.” The newly arrived Applebloom exclaimed with glee. “The CMC was plannin on doin this, but not anything as fancy! Who do ya reckon done it for us?” “Ah dunno, but whoever it is….” CREAK!!! The barn promptly fell over to one side, collapsing under its own weight and crushing all their possessions inside. For a moment, all they could do was gawk. “Ah was in dere just a moment ago…” Granny Smith said with disbelief. “Wha… What happened?” It was then, that they heard the laughing and giggling. “That was so funny!” “Oh I know, I know.” “We should’ve done that to begin with!” “Well, darling, I don’t usually kill, if we had done that first it would have killed her grandmother inside.” “But it’s no fun only going partway.” “I’m afraid I must disagree, I cause misery and mayhem, but it is wrong to kill either way.” “Ah don’t know who you two are, and ahm glad you can show restraint, but yer still goin to pay for this,” said a third voice. Startled, the two pseudo-pegasi looked up the short hill to see a looming orange figure above them, and from her face they could tell she wasn’t happy. “Teleport!” Yelled discod. In a flash of light, they were suddenly all the way on the other side of the farm. They had forgotten to stay quiet after the prank, and it would cost them dearly. “IT TOOK ME DAYS TO CREATE THIS DISGUISE!!!” Yelled Shortstop. “I CAN’T MAKE ANOTHER RIGHT NOW! WE CAN’T EVEN KEEP PRANKING NOW BECAUSE THEY’RE GOING TO BE LOOKING FOR US.” “Well I didn’t do all the laughing myself,” grumbled discord. Screwball/Shortstop was fuming after the incident. They had rushed out of town as fast as they could and got back to their little cave, where they began arguing over the blame. Discord believed the blame was equal, since they both laughed, but Screwball blamed the former since it was his idea to destroy the barn. They continued in their debate for a time until they finally decided to agree to disagree, and move forwards toward the big stuff. “Do you know that spell I use for cotton candy clouds and chocolate milk rain?” Twilightsparkle was having a lovely day. She had finished re-re-re-re-reorganizing her library, switching from alphabetical order of the title, to the date of publication, to first letter of the authors first name, to first letter of the authors last name, to first letter of the authors middle name. Spike was exhausted from all the running around, and Twighlight was settling down to do some studying on the history of the Crystal Empire. She had to place a special order from the library of the said kingdom since almost all records of it had been wiped from Equestria in the previous thousand years. “Lets see… should I start with founding of The empire, or with traditions and culture of The Empire?” “I don’t know Twilight, just try not to keep me awake, why is it that I always have to sleep when it’s convenient for you but never when it’s convenient for me?” “Hmm… that’s a good question, ill have to do a research report on the psychology and patterns I’ve shown while raising you wont I?” “Groan.” It was then that she heard the light tap of rain on the tree house. “That’s odd, the pegasi were supposed to be scheduling the rainstorm for tomorrow, not today… GASP!!!” The rain running down the side of the window wasn’t water, it was chocolate milk! An anomaly she had only ever seen once before. “Spike!! Get a pen and paper, quick!” “Wha?” “Chocolate milk rain, chocolate milk rain!” With that spike was up immediately grabbing a pen and paper off the desk and standing at attention. Dear princess celestia, It is with great dread that I inform you that Ponyville is currently experiencing a weather anomaly that I have ever only heard of or seen during Discord’s brief rain over Equestria, chocolate milk rain. It is imperative that you bring The Elements of Harmony immediately to Ponyville so we may deal with the threat before he can steal said elements again and take control while we are defenseless. “Okay send.” The letter went away with a green cloud. They waited several minutes, during this time Twilight nervously tapped her hoof on the floor. She jumped when the Princess’s reply came. Dear Twilight While this is a major sign of Discords return, I am afraid there must be another explanation. Discord is still in the gardens. Please investigate further, you are right, this is an anomaly only heard of during Discord’s reign. The only lead I can offer is that discord has a daughter, Screwball, she is a pink and purple earth pony with swirls for eyes and imbued with special powers that go further than even the most skilled of unicorns. I believe this may be the explanation but I cannot be sure. I am sending you the elements via carriage. “Discord had a daughter?” Spike questioned. “I’d never heard about it before either. Although the description she gave is identical to a pony I saw going around in Ponyville pulling pranks during the time I was… grey.” “So we just have to find her and make her stop.” “She probably knows to avoid us, and if she’s more powerful than any unicorn she could easily make a disguise.” She moaned. “TWILIGHT!” “Yes Applejack, don’t worry I already sent Princess Celestia a letter about the chocolate rain, it isn’t Discord, he’s still in the Canterlot gardens, but the Princess believes it could be his daughter, Screwball. The elements are on their way already.” “Well that’s good an all, but before the rain started a bunch of funny things happened around town I think may be related to it. Earlier in the market the grapes at the grape cart all turned into raisins, and mah barn randomly got painted in a rainbow, and then it collapsed. There were these two pegasi in the trees who were laughin bout it as though it were funny, and they teleported away when I saw em.” “So that must mean she IS using a disguise, but who’s the other pegasus?” Spike exclaimed rather obviously. “I don’t know Spike, lets mail the Princess again, describe both for us Applejack.” Dear Princess Celestia Applejack saw a pair of pegasi on her farm causing mischief briefly before the rain began. One was a dark blue mare, with a black and blue mane. The other was a bright yellow stallion with a green and pink mane, he was wearing a suit and sunglasses. Do either of these sound familiar? A couple minutes later: Dear Twilightsparkle , The former of the two does not sound familiar, and could be a minion of Screwball, or her in disguise. The latter sounds like one of my guards, who did not show up today for duty, except, he absolutely detested formal attire and would rather (and I am quoting here) “burn in the fires of Tartarus before he put on clothes.” Spike giggled to himself at the last part. “I didn’t know the Princess knew her guards so well.” “He could just be one that has come to her attention due to statements like that.” Just then the door slammed open and Rainbowdash came charging in. “Twili…” “Yes Rainbow, chocolate rain, cotton candy clouds, already mailed princess, elements on the way, not Discord, likely his daughter.” “Oh… you’re faster than I thought.”
Lets get this over withDiscord and Screwball stood on the top of a cotton-candy cloud overlooking Ponyville, from there they could see all the ponies in town running in fear, darting in between the buildings and dodging the others in the mob that was trying to get indoors. “I wonder if they remember me.” “Oh I don’t think so,” Screwball replied sarcastically. He then spied a small carriage pulled by two guard pegasi coming from Canterlot. He figured that the bookworm Twilight had written to her precious princess to request the Elements of Harmony to defeat him, again. He knew they wouldn’t recognize him unless he came out he knew though. Screwball however, if the princess had remembered her they might be looking for her. “How much concentration does your disguise take up?” he asked. “I can cast simple magic with it on, but spells like this I take it off beforehoof.” “Try to avoid larger spells for a while, I believe that carriage holds the Elements, and if Celestia checks the garden she’ll see I’m still there. If she remembers you, they might be looking for you.” “Nothing I hadn’t figured out myself.” It then landed, and the two pegasi began unloading their cargo and taking it up to the door of the library. “Can you summon some lightning?” “Not without losing the disguise, and it wouldn’t feel good to fall off a cloud.” “Fair enough, how about I hold you?” “Oh right, because that wouldn’t be weird at all.” “Fine, how about you yank it out of their grasp and fling it across town.” “That could work.” Twilight rushed to the door. The Elements were finally here, and they could take care of the problem. Finally. The rest of her friends had shown up and she explained the situation another three times. Since Discord himself wasn’t out causing trouble Pinkie Pie was fairly impartial to the ordeal, and she just sat outside with her mouth hanging open drinking up all the rain-milk she could. Rarity had a fairly stylish raincoat on that was, of course, encrusted with lapis lazuli gems to “match the rain of course.” Rainbow was unhappy because she couldn’t fly in these conditions since her feathers didn’t repel milk like they did water. Fluttershy was doing her best not to cry from the experience of her thinking Discord was back. And finally Applejack was just rinsing the milk off her Stetson in the kitchen sink. Just as Twilight opened the door a magic aura appeared around the chest with the elements and it was whisked straight up into the air, where it landed on a cloud and stayed there until it suddenly flew off of it and landed somewhere on the other side of Ponyville. Both the guards simply gawked and rushed inside as a bolt of lightning came down and left a patch of ground covered in fur instead of grass. “Rainbowdash!” “Yeah?” “What are you doing upstairs?” “Uh… Reading. What else would I do in a library.” She smirked, although she was glad her racer friend had finally gotten into more things than just Daring Do, it could get irritating sometimes since she just read whenever she felt like it and ignored whether it was a good time or not. “Stop reading your Marevel comics and get down here!” “I’m not even reading that,” she announced as she came down the stairs. “I was reading…” “Doesn’t matter, the Elements just flew all the way to the other side of town and we need you to go get them.” “I can’t fly in this weather, my wings don’t repel chocolate milk, sorry.” Applejack cut in then, “Dagnabbit, wer’e gonna have tuh’ go all the way across town to get em? Who knows what could happen while were doin that.” “Applejack is right, but we don’t really have a choice do we?” Stated rarity. Luckily for them, nothing big happened during their trek across Ponyville to reclaim the elements. They found them undamaged inside Timeturners house. “I recognized them from when you defeated discord the first time so I brought them inside for you.” He said slightly nervously. They all put on their respective elements, and set off. They had no plan for finding the cause of the rain, other than looking for random chaotic events throughout town and paying close attention for the ponies that Applejack had described. It seemed to be useless, they had caught a few brief glimpses, but they couldn’t charge up the elements and hit them in time before they flew away. Which Rainbowdash was very chagrined about. “How come they can fly in this rain but I can’t?” “Well they obviously have a spell preventing it from soaking them, I don’t know why Twilight would just administer one to Rainbow though, I’d expect you to know something that simple Twilight,” Rarity said with a bit of contempt and confusion. Upon this Twilight immediately and forcefully face-hooved. “How could I have forgotten that?! Your right rarity, I should’ve done that hours ago! Stay still Rainbowdash.” Her horn glowed softly for a few seconds, and suddenly Rainbowdash was completely dry. All the raindrops around her simply disappeared when the came close, and reappeared under her. “Aw yeah.” She said while putting on a cocky grin. “C..Could you put the spell on me too Twilight, if it isn’t too much trouble I mean…” Fluttershy said quietly under her breath. Before Twilight could finish on Flutters, Rainbow was already off and searching for the two suspects of the chaos going on around them. After a minute of circling she suddenly made a sharp turn and went straight to the ground. After a second or two they heard a loud crash. “Groooooaaaan…” Discord opened his eyes, in front of him was a very angry looking cyan pegasus, she was only a few inches from his face, he couldn’t help notice she was also wearing her element of harmony. After a second or two of him staring fearfully into her pink eyes she raised a hoof and brought it down on his head, making a loud crack. Suddenly, he was staring at a cloudless sky, devoid of the natural or the sugary type. He couldn’t move, and he heard commotion behind him. He couldn’t see anything, but he could hear Celestia giving instructions, and clanking armor, suddenly there was a loud thud, of stone hitting dirt. After a second it sounded as though they were dragging it towards him. He felt something bump up against his pedestal, and then being lifted onto it. “Hi daddy” said a voice in his head. “Hello sweetheart.” “Looks like we’re going to be spending a bunch more time together aren’t we.” “We sure are, we sure are.”
